Random And Odd

2011-04-01T13:33:00.001-07:00

We Broke Up...

2006-02-20T00:16:00.000-08:00

I finally did it. I finally broke up with Blogger. You're all invited to now officially change your links to: www.randomandodd.com

Guess What?

2006-02-18T10:16:00.000-08:00

, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

http://blog.mrtland.com/

Someone finally had that baby!

spf

2006-02-17T00:39:00.000-08:00

spf, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

Having a hell of a time with Blogger: Under my bed:

My Stereo: My Pots and Pans: Everything is crammed under my bed. I don't have a stereo, just a pair of cheap speakers and MySpace music and the pots and pans fresh off my stove from dinner. DID YOU PLAY?

icky

2006-02-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

The month of February: 5 kids, 15 dentist appointments.

It's been a rough month for me as far as dealing with stress. It seems like when it rains, it pours.

right now - you're all shaking your head, 'yep' huh?

That's the part that gives you perspective. EVERYONE knows what it feels like and they all have a story to tell. Some people like to play the 'mine is worse than yours' game. We won't be playing that here today.

I actually deal with stress quite well. (My doctor doesn't agree with that last statement though)
I don't panic or have a break down in the middle of it all. I manage to get through the stress, check for damages and then I go into 'repair' mode. Repair mode is me crawling in my bed, having 15 long anxiety attacks, crying until I have no tears left.

My whimpering must have some sort of beacon/homing device because in the middle of it all, my sister will call me.
Kathy is a Taurus, she's a no-shit type of person, get your ass out of bed and get some perspective! She's exactly what people need when they are starting to freak out. She's the patron saint of the crazy people.

Last night I was coming down from a anxiety attack when I thought about Kathy and how much it would suck if I were the older sister. She's the rock, the centerstone of the masterpeice of our family. I don't think I could handle that much pressure and responsiblity.

Kathy's word is the final say in everything. It doesn't matter that she doesn't pack a gun like my brother the cop, or could snap you in two like my brother Jerry, or throw a pissy fit like my brother Michael...Kathy's word is the law. What she says, goes.

I know I always talk about how wonderful my sister is. Honestly, I don't say it enough. "Thanks for dealing with shit" doesn't seem like enough. When were together we joke, laugh and catch up...but here on my blog is where I can give her comforting hugs and pretend that it's enough.

Alyx is going to follow in my sister's shoes. She already is the 'go to' kid when something needs to be worked out. Shea is just like me, the little sister that looks to her big sister to make sure everything is okay.
Shea always comes up with these big plans and Alyx just looks at her and says, "that's not going to work, but it's a good idea."

My sister gives me that look over the phone. I can hear it...and you know what?

She's always right.

Assignment for Feb 17th 2006

2006-02-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

stuffstuff, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

Get out your digitals and get ready for Kristine's Comeback!!

You've ALL emailed me to have this added to the list for Stuff Portrait Friday and I always pretended I went blind when I read it, but here it is:

1. UNDER YOUR BED!

2. STEREO (do we still call them that?)

3. POTS AND PANS

Now this is "in all your glory" week. You're not allowed to go clean under your bed to make it look all nice. You're not allowed to scrap the black crap on the bottom of your pans either. This is about who you REALLY are...in all your glory.

Now, I am getting buckets of emails from people asking "Is anyone allowed to play?" YES YES YES...and this week, remind your readers of that. Explain that this isn't just for the 'cool' people (and for the person who emailed me and said I was part of the cool crowd, can I give you the email address of the girl I went to school with so you can tell her that? please.)

Question: If I let my dog eat the egg (i hate eggs) from my egg mcmuffin will she get the farts?

2006-02-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

Sorry Chelsea, I tried!!, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

When I was 18 years old I became a step parent.

This was one the hardest roads I would ever have to take. I questioned if I would be able to do it. Honestly, I think I did a crappy job of it.

I was selfish. Being #2 in someone's life wasn't something I was comfortable being.

Those first few years were the hardest. I thought I was doing the right thing by everyone, but the reality of it was I was hurting my ex, his son and his son's mother. I didn't want him to be walked on and I fought and pushed him to stand up for himself.

I wasn't ready to step back and let him form the relationship he needed to form on his own.
"You need to do this...You need to that..."

I use to say, "i'm not trying to be his mother." but the reality was, I wanted that. I wanted to be his mom. Sometimes it wasn't enough just being a step-mom. I regret that, because my actions were selfish and immature. Ryan had a mother and even if I didn't believe in the things she said and did, It wasn't my place to push and pull.

I'm sorry Kiddo. I've always loved you Ryan. You taught me more things about myself than I ever thought I could learn.

It wasn't until last year in the car ride home from Marine World that we had the first real conversation in the 14 years I've been apart of your life. I guess I never really knew you. I never thought to ask you what you thought, because I was afaid of what you would say.

Now, now that your dad and I aren't together and i'm moving into a different part of my life, I realize how much I'm not ready to let you go as my step son. You prepared me for the person I am today. I want to joke with you and connect with you so I don't lose you forever.

I hope that someday we can sit down and you can tell me everything you have stored up in your head and heart. I think I might be mature enough to hear it now.

I'm proud of you. I am so proud that you became the person you are despite everything you've been through, heard and seen. You're smart, loving and damn funny.

Happy Birthday Kiddo.

and happy birthday to one of the greatest friends we both share, Chelsea.
My beautiful friend, Lisa did a bang up job as a mother to raise someone that is a role model to every person that she comes in contact with. She's my role model too.

Must be something about people born the day after Valentine's Day...they have all the left over love cupid didn't use.

My Girly Girls

2006-02-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

My Girly Girls, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

Ready for the Random part of the blog?

Wordpress only likes me 28%. This whole moving my blog thing...nightmare. I probably should have thought this out before I decided to break up with Blogger.

Alyx, the 9 year old showed me her political side. Only two more years left, mom. I hope we have better presidents to vote for. She had a pained look on her face. She doesn't get the love of politics from me.

I'm having a wave of depression. It hit last night during a rerun of Sex in the City. I cried because Carrie could get out of bed really fast to answer the door. I cried because someone moves without pain and stuff jiggling.

My ex just showed up and I have to drive him to get a liner put in the back of his truck. SHOOT ME.

2006-02-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

if you have flickr and i'm your friend...go find your name and add a note!

Go give some love to Metro, Scotty and Sometime's Saintly Nick (it's his birthday today!)

dot com

2006-02-13T16:12:00.000-08:00

My blog has been ramsacked! If you haven't noticed, everything is all uh-muck here. Fear Not, Random and Odders...we will be packing our gear and moving soon. I am currently transfering everything over to wordpress and that is why everything is all herky-jerky (i will never admit to using that word again, so enjoy it while you can) Yes, Random and Odd is actually getting it's own domain. It's like breaking up with an old boyfriend and starting fresh. LAP DANCES AND HOT CHOCOLATE FOR EVERYONE!

2006-02-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

***Bloggers in the Spotlight*** has moved so I could get help with it, please click HERE to see who is showcased this week! ***************************** Guess what tomorrow is? Yep, 'singles Awareness Day'. and I just want to get something really damn clear. If you're a woman and you get one of these three items for Valentine's Day; 1. Pajama Gram 2. Vermont Teddy Bear 3. Russell Stover heart shaped box of chocolates I want you to kick your man's ass and tell them it's from me. Shaun and I were watching the pre pro-bowl activities on ESPN and EVERY DAMN COMMERCIAL was those three things. This guy had the NERVE to wear a flannel shirt while doing the commercial for the Pajama gram that would be running on ESPN for 5 hours. I hope those men in those 3 commercial get kicked out of the man club. I hope that every man that had to watch those men for 5 solid hours talk about how it was Valentine's day and how women LOVE to get teddy bears find those men and kick their asses for 3 solid days. I can't believe ESPN would allow that. I have lost ALLLLLL kinds of respect for ESPN. EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK! EVERY ONE! Okay, i'm sorry...there are just some things that need to stay sacred and ESPN is one of them. *deep breath* I had to buy a monopod this weekend because I was going to shoot Shaun's flag football game again this year and after an hour of shooting the camera somehow puts on a few pounds and my pictures start looking shaky. While in the camera shop getting the monopod, I heard something rustling around in this case. Since I'm such a nice person and hate to see things be uncomfortable...I went back and checked it out. Right there in the middle of all these mean looking lenses was a little telephoto lens with the biggest brown eyes just looking up at me. I could tell it had been awhile since anyone had strapped him to a camera so I asked the nice camera guy to do that for me so I could take it to the window and let it look out. Guess who came home with me? Yep! I like to call this lens 'the cuddler'. It likes to get right up there and snuggle into the subject. I don't 'do' Valentine's Day because it's not my thing. I'm one of those people that swears it off and calls it a 'Hallmark Holiday', bitches and complains, but secretly likes all the hearts and pretty colors and gets her heart squeezed evertyime a friend shows you what she got from her sweetheart. So this is my first real Valentine's Day gift in 33 years. Most women want diamonds...I want glass. ...and i'm still pissed off at ESPN.

2006-02-11T18:11:00.000-08:00

Okay! Okay! it only takes me 7 emails to get me to listen. SOME of you think that we should be doing this wishlist thing every weekend. You guys are crazy and bored...and you wish is my command:

Comment Section Wish List...

Body: Okay, here's the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish ("I wish I had a banana!"), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here's the fun part: Your wish is messed up! Example: Bucky Four Eyes----I wish I had a banana. Hippo----Granted, but the banana tastes bad. I wish I had a ticket to a concert. Susie----Granted, but it's a Barney concert. I wish....

2006-02-10T17:10:00.000-08:00

Last night my friend, Ruka, took me to the ballet. I got all gussied up and looked like I should be either running a bank or married to high powered attorney. It's not that often I pull out the black slacks and sexy shoes. When I informed Shaun where I would be going he gave me the raised eyebrow and the crazy eyes. I know that there is a percentage of men out there that do not like going to events that have men dressed in tights, but doesn't involve pigskin or helmets. I'm okay with that. There has to be a balance in the world of men that can spout sport stats going all the way back to the early 1900's. Some men that can build a '67 Camaro from the ground up with nothing more than sweat and some metal. There is also some men that can grasp the beauty of Rumi, Aida and Mozart...and know the difference of the three. I have dated all three, but none the same guy. After we got seated I thanked Ruka and said "Just in case I forget to thank you later." During the first 20 minutes I had forgotten what a beautiful city Sacramento was. I had forgotten that there was culture outside of Disney On Ice and the Monster Trucks. These dancers, these singers, these composers are from Sacramento. This stunning building is right here in the heart of my city and I had forgotten how beautiful it was to see art moving in front of me. An hour into the beauty of it all, my mind started to wander. I had 5 dentist appointments next week and I needed to remember to write notes to get the kids out of school. The dancing was beautiful and the dress of that one dancer was pretty. I need to decide on a wedding dress. I wonder what we will dance our first dance to? I use to have this exact problem when I would pray. I would start out real strong, remembering to use the Thee's and Thou's and by the end of asking God to forgive me for sweeping every single toy under my bed, my mind would start to wander and I would end my prayer midway through trying to figure out what I was going to wear the next day to school. Ruka is a mother to a 4 month old and she admitted that she didn't make it too far into The Nutcracker before she started to fidget and want to get home to the baby. She looked SO into the program tonight, so I knew I was going to have to snap out of the daydreaming and start paying attention. The men ballet dancers amazed me. The way he could just lift her up in the air and hold her and softly spin her...making her dress just float...I started to think about the first dance again. I got some great ideas from the two dancers out there. I mean, of course we would totally have to re-think some of the dance moves because i'm pretty certain there was NO way Shaun was going to be able to pick me up like that. Don't get me wrong, Shaun is very strong...he can totally beat me at thumb wars, but I don't think he could lift my ass if our house was on fire and I was sitting on the remote to the wide screen he had already gotten out. Also, the whole leg lifting thing. I can't even hoist myself into the mini-van and make it look graceful. Yes, I would REALLY have to rethink this. Maybe just the floating wedding dress would work. "Ruka...I think I'm going to wear that dress for my wedding...what do you think?" Ruka's got a sense of humor, but we were at the ballet and it was time to be serious. I leaned back over and tried to concentrate. "Think you can get Shaun to wear THAT?" She whispers out of the side of her mouth. On stage there are about 15 men in underwear. Nothing more, just underwear. Tight underwear. WHITE, tight underwear. I smile a little bit because I know that as serious as the ballet is, Ruka knows that I am going to find the humor in this and we can get a giggle about it later. "Kristine, I think the opera singer is just making words up." "He's singing about the contents of his refrigerator." For the next 10 minutes all I could hear is, "SEVEN BOTTLES OF E-VI-AN!! SEVEN BOTTLES OF E-VI-AN!!" sung in full blown opera. Then the most beautiful part of the program started and all the dancers were out there jumping and spinning...and dropping to the floor? The men in the TIGHT white underwear were all on the floor laying on their stomachs. Then because I went to church camp and was a good, model citizen for the last 15 years and my mother and sister have a direct line to God...the male dancers in their TIGHT white underwear began to lift their legs up and put their feet behind the top of their heads making the most beautiful display of acrobatic maneuvers. 15 penis's right there for all the world to see through the TIGHT white underwear. I leaned in really close to Ruka and whispered, "Thank you." Something I never thought would happen in a million years happened. She started giggling. Then I started giggling. The penis's still right there in our faces, we giggled like we were 12 year olds. We both tried to stop giggling, but when one would stop and gain composure the other would start up again and we both ended up in tears. We both spent the last half of the ballet with our hands over our mouth. I realized then that I would rather drink liquid Drano than to take Shaun to the ballet. I wouldn't make it past the first 2 minutes and he would have me laughing. Driving home, we decided that we were going to have to do that more often. It was a nice change to dress up and go out to cultured events like the Ballet and pretend we are grown up.

2006-02-09T22:49:00.000-08:00

SPF this week is over at DallasK's blog (Miss. Kami if your Nasty) She's babysitting for me because I'm STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED OUT. Since "Single's Awareness Day" is coming up, she thought it would be fun to work with 'Love'... ~ What you love most about your home ~ What you love least about your home ~ What you love most about yourself You know the drill, 'cept this time, head on over there and let everyone know you played. I'm going to try to play this week...but honestly...I really, really, really need to freebase some more Calgon.

Ha-Cha-Cha!

2006-02-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

picture AND graphics by Shaun I got a sweet, loving, from the heart email from someone saying in tones dripping with honey that if I make my children write, "I love Mommy more than Daddy." I will ruin them forever. This person, this sweet, loving writer of emails dripping with sweetness also said that I have a loud voice on the internet and when I say things like 'bribing my children' or calling their dad a dumb-ass, that people will listen and do the same. I should be more careful of the power that I have. Did you hear that Random and Odders? I have power - I have the power to make you do what I do...or what I tell you to do. You know what this means my minions? SEND COOKIES. It's not very often that I even comment on the emails I get, but this one had to be brought out into the light. Only 4% of my readers know me outside of this forum. They have come to my house, played with my children, heard me talk on the phone to people, have watched me interact with the people I love. Only maybe 2% of the 4% have seen me cry, drove me to doctor appointments and bought me bras. Today is the day to open up my email closet and show you what I have been hiding. I will do it nicely though...simmer down people. 1. I love my ex-husband. He is a dumb ass though. When I call him and he answers -I say in the sweetest tone EVER..."hey dumbass." or "butthead" or "Dorkwad" or "penis wrinkle". When he does something stupid, I call him on it. When I do something stupid he mumbles under his breath about it. My children know I love their dad, they also know I don't hate him. They also know that he bugs me and pisses me off sometimes. 2. When I say, "I beat the children." it's just a joke, I don't really beat the children. I bite them though. Just little nibbles of love. 3. For those of you that have emailed and said they think I am freebasing Calgon...you're on to me. It's a nasty habit and I really need to stop. For those of you that think I am addicted to Xanax...it takes me 5 months to get through 20 pills...I think I might be okay. No, I am not on any anti-depressants because I'm not depressed...I have anxiety. I get depressed, but because of the cost of anti-depressants I just choose to drink heavily instead. 4. Yes, this is the real me. My name is Kristine, his name is Shaun. I'm not trying to hide anything...except the bodies of the dead ex-boyfriends I have buried in the backyard. 5. The Fonz is my mother. Dashababy is my sister. I'm pretty sure that Kathy is really my mom and it's some creepy thing they kept from me all my life. 6. No, it's not a gimmick- I really don't like lawn gnomes. The children's song, 'this old man...he played one...he played nicknack on my thumb...with a nick-nack-paddy-wack- give a dog a bone...this onld man went rolling home.' FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT. That will be the sound I will hear over the phone during a heavy rain and I am left home alone for the weekend. 7. I don't take all the pictures you see here or on my flickr site. Shaun takes some too. You'll be able to tell our pictures apart. Mine are in focus and his angles are all weird. It's really that simple. 8. Since we are on the subject of cameras and emails I get...The D70 is great...but really...people without D70's take Wuh-Hayyyyy better pictures than people with them. I have two examples of people I know that take better pictures without...Wave of Modulation and The Fat Housewife (Stiznizzay!). It's not always the camera...it's the eye of the person holding it. Here is an article about this. 9. You have asked and I will tell you because hopefully by being honest about this in a public forum that it will be the encouragement I need to fix it so I can fit into a wedding dress. Size 14-16 jean size. 14 IF they stretch. Goal size (again) is 10-12. I'm 5'9 (and a half) I slouch though, so I look shorter at times. 10. The email I get most often is asking about how many people read this site? I don't know. I stopped counting after 5. ;) If I get 20 comments, then that day I had 20 readers. That's how I like to look at things, it keeps the balance. My lurking readers are smart though, they don't comment because they know I will eventually tell them to send me cookies. *raising eyebrow* hey...why do my lurker readers never comment? COMMENT TODAY, DAMN IT. I think I've answered and addressed all the lovely emails I get. Now if you'll excuse me I am going to go wash down a few Xanax with some Captain Morgan, free base some Calgon and wait for my children to come home so I can make them sing the song I am going to write about how their love for me is stronger their love of their father. It's going to be a big hit.

2006-02-08T09:27:00.000-08:00

Normally I reserve Wednesdays for the 'lazy' part of my blog where I ask you all to plan my wedding for me. So far, you've guys have kicked ass and kept me on track. I have been having weird dreams lately. My sister, Mother Nature's dreaming freak, has been having the QUOTE weird /QUOTE dreams. Mine are more things that I don't think about unless I dream about them. A couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was pulling into the grocery center by my house and I saw a cop putting a ticket on my ex-husband's motorcycle. When I met my ex-husband back in 1990 he was riding that motorcycle and after we moved to Sacramento and it got stolen, wrecked and returned, he never rode it again. He use to tinker with it in the garage and sometimes I would hear him start it. The sound that use to give me tingles, now made me want to secretly sabotage it while he was at work. I was afraid that if he got it running again, he would actually ride it...and then die. In my dream I pulled up next to the cop and started making excuses for my ex. "Excuse me officer, I'm sure he didn't mean to park it there, if you give me a minute I can move the bike to my house so he doesn't have to get a ticket." I'm guessing in my dreams I can ride a motorcycle, because the last time I actually rode the motorcycle I laid it down...hard. The officer looked at me and said, "I really don't think you have to worry about it ma'am. He won't be riding the bike anytime soon." The officer then could see that I misunderstood and tried to explain it, "No, he's fine. I'm sure he will be out of jail soon." I begged with the officer to explain to me what had happened and he couldn't tell me. In my loudest outside voice I yelled, "I HAVE THREE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN AND IF YOU DON'T TELL ME AND YOU PUT MY KIDS AT RISK, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!" "He was driving while intoxicated." In my dream, I called Dan on the phone to see if he would tell me about it without me asking and he wasn't going to tell me. "YOU DUMB ASS!" I yelled at him. "HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID!?" That was what the conversation went like in my dream. It's also just like the conversation we had when I called him the morning to tell him what a bastard he was in my dream. "I HAD A DREAM YOU GOT A DUI! YOU ARE SUCH A DUMB ASS! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE DRIVING DRUNK....ON.A.MOTORCYCLE!" Dan is pretty much use to my crazy dream episodes. The whole duration of our marriage, if he didn't hear 'whoa, I just had the weirdest dream.' first thing in the morning, he would check for a pulse. "So you had a dream I got a DUI? That's not as good as the dream I had." Still calming down, I stepped right into the question, "What did you dream about?" "Twins...." Last night I had a dream that Kara was mad at me because I was too protective and she wanted to go live with her Dad. I freaked out. I couldn't believe it. Her whole life I have done everything to keep her safe and protect her from the evils of mean little kids picking on her, stinky boys and kissing before she was 30. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME!? She YELLED at me in my dream. My daughters don't EVER raise their voice to me...and in this dream she was and saying HORRIBLE things. So in my dream, after Kara sped off in a red sports car...I called her dad. "HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? HOW CAN YOU JUST STEAL HER AWAY WITH YOUR FANCY NEW PHONES!?" Dan bought Kara a Sidekick cell phone. It has EVERYTHING. She's, of course, grounded from it until she brings up her grades. This is what she has with her Dad, cool things. I don't have cool things to offer. Shaun and I had a conversation today about someone who is very insecure in their role in life. I wondered how one could cope with thinking that the world was out to get you. That you had to behave like a child to get people to pay attention to you. I got off the phone disgusted that grown adults could act like complete idiots because of their insecurities. I'm very secure as my role as my children's mother. If by some freak accident someone fell in love with my ex and he got remarried and the woman wasn't a raging lunatic, I would be happy that the kids would have another strong, woman role model in their lives. I know that my ex is somewhat secure in his role as my children's father. He knows they love him. He knows they love Shaun and honestly, I know he likes Shaun too. I'm also very secure in my role as a friend. I'm a great friend and if you're my friend you don't have to worry about forgetting to call me back. You don't have to call me everyday to make sure we are still friends. I'm a VERY secure person. So after my crazy dream this morning I called my ex. "You're going to have to stop buying the kids cool things. Really, Dan...it's out of control. You know they love me more. No really, they do. Stop laughing! THAT IS IT! I have had enough! Stop saying they love you more, THEY LOVE ME MORE YOU BIG DUMB ASS!" When they get home today I am going to tell them that if they write, "I love Mommy more than Daddy." I will let them remain in the wedding as the flower girls.

2006-02-06T08:01:00.000-08:00

When I first started online I was told of the dangers of posting your real name. If I was ever brave enough to sign up for anything, which wasn't often, I would use the screen name RyKarAly. It was my three kids first few letters of their names. Everyone that read it thought I was a guy or I was a huge fan of Star Trek. For many years I never told anyone what my real name was. When someone warns me, I listen and I wasn't going to take any chances. There were internet tuffies that would do me some serious damage if I leaked my real name. The mysteries of what would happen if I slipped up were the things that would give you nightmares. Thinking back to the first few years of trying to figure out the internet it reminds me of how far I have come. It was 1995 when I bought my first computer, a Packard Bell. That computer had ONE use and ONE use only...it could make greeting cards. For 2 years it sat there, hooked up to the internet and I had NO idea how to use it. My husband at the time, would log onto the internet and look up all kinds of things. I would ask him simple questions. "What is that sound? That cat in the blender sound?" "That's the computer connecting to the internet." "Huh?" "It's the phone lines, the computer goes through the phone lines and connects to the internet...blah blah blah." "Is that why the phone is always busy? Hey...what program is that?" "It's not a program, it's Yahoo." "Where is that disk?" "It's not a disk, Kristine...it's the internet." "What does it make?" "Nothing, it's just information." "That's dumb.Does it have book titles in there?" "Yes...what do you want to know?" "I need to know what the first book Jude Deveraux ever wrote is." Yes, my first 'real' online experience started with wanting to know about romance writers. It still took me another year before I could do more than check my email, which I had NONE because no one I knew had a computer. Then I found chat rooms. AOL chat rooms. Maui Friends chat room. I soon had friends in Maui that thought I was funny and would greet me when I entered the room. I would never leave this place, this was going to be my online home forever! Hours were spent checking in to see what everyone was doing. I thought the fact that people could send pictures to each other was amazing, but there was really no way, EVER that I would be able to do it. I went to the store and made copys of pictures and sent them via snail mail to Hawaii to my friends. Moronic would be a way to describe the look on my face when I opened my email and saw my picture staring back at me. BLACK MAGIC! THOSE MAUI PEOPLE WERE USING BLACK MAGIC! They had taken the picture I had sent them through the mail and put it in the computer! "DANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" I was half horrified that this had happened. This might mean that internet tuffies would soon be showing up at my house to kill me and everyone I knew. He came in and saw me sitting there with my mouth dropped open and pointing at my tiny computer screen with my picture on it. "What? Kristine? What's the matter?" "LOOK! How did they do that?" "Probably used a scanner." We went out and bought one that day. I scanned every single picture in the house. This was my new toy. I could now make greeting cards WITH pictures. I started taking more 'film' pictures. Rushing to the store to develop them. Then coming home and scanning them. My life now had purpose. "We should buy you a digital camera." He suggested and then explained to me how digital worked and I laughed at in his face and continued to scan. SEVERAL years later, we got a digital camera and by then I knew my way around the internet like a pro. I was the queen of WYSIWYG web design on Geocities. A few years later I did something crazy and bought my own domain. This was before I knew about 'blogging'. I had already started reading 'blogs', but I didn't know that is what they were called...I thought they were web pages. I tried to make mine look like the ones I liked, but it was nearly impossible because these people were creative and knew things about colors that matched. I did my best and had that domain for 2 years before I realized it was time to stop pretending I could make anything worth looking at. Then 4 years ago, I started writing again. This time it wasn't at the computer. It was in my garage with a pack of Marlboro and bad attitude. Poetry. I wrote some good stuff because I was in that place where the creativity is just exploding from my pen. It was time to put this is in the computer because I had tripped over a can that was full of cigarette butts and Pepsi and almost ruined a journal. A friend saw me designing something on the computer and he asked what I was doing. "Just putting some of my writings into web page form." "What's your writing about?" "Just a bunch of Random and Odd stuff." This last month I have started a few new things. I bought randomandodd.com for $1.99 and after buying it...I realize I have no damn clue what do to next. I don't know how to get any kind of blogging program up there or how to redirect anything or even how to set up the stupid email accounts. I'm just as clueless as I was when I first started. I'm also trying to find a template for Von Krankipantzen because...it's time...it's time for that woman who is "WHOA so strong" to have something more than the green template that blogger offers. If you're a real designer, and want to lift the spirits of someone who battles something that no one should ever have to battle, please email me so I can give you the information. I want her to have the PERFECT template and if you read her you will understand why. I love "Bloggers Spotlight" and I want to do more with it because I think everyone deserves comments and to be made feel special. I am just trying to find the time to do that in the middle of everything else. Remember when I said I wanted to write about something, but I didn't know how? My aunt is in the hospital with full liver failure and I can't even say her name without wanting to cry, so I am dealing with that too. My friend, 'Cita is losing her father to cancer. My other friend is going through stuff that frustrates me and makes me want to get into a bar fight. FOUR dentist appointments for four different kids....THIS WEEK. Did I mention I was getting married in 5 months? I'm stressed out. Do you notice my hair has started falling out again? This week, Kami is taking over SPF. She will do a GREAT job. Be nice to the substitute and don't play any mean tricks on her. (and if you do, please take pictures so I can see!) I know this was a long rambling post, but take your time working your way through it because it's going to be here for a few days until I get my ducks all in a row. TTFN.

Comment Section Wish List...

2006-02-04T21:35:00.000-08:00

2006-02-04T09:16:00.000-08:00

I want to talk about something that is going on in my life as of yesterday, but I also don't want to. It doesn't have anything to do with not wanting to share it, it's just really sad and I haven't wrapped my mind around it yet. I was hoping when I went to my sister's blog today that I would find she had already took care of it, but she wrote about a good time in our lives. Today we went and put the down payment down on the place we are going to get married. The kids got all excited when we showed them the upstairs where we would be getting our dresses on and the stairs we would be walking down. Shaun had convinced them earlier that the place was haunted so it was fun to watch them jump everytime we entered a new room. After signing the contracts I went looking for my family. They were all downstairs in the 'Groom's Closet'. This a room below the house that is a non functioning bar with a pool table, pinball machine and foozball. I would like to think that my mom and sister would be hanging out with me upstairs while I get ready for the wedding, but I can already see my mother downstairs pretending she can't play a lick of pool and then taking all the guy's money after she smokes them with her patented 'corner pocket shot'. It's starting to all feel real ...and I'm getting excited.

2006-02-02T22:44:00.000-08:00

Games I Play: I know, you've seen this before...but this is what I play. Whenever we go to restaurants I can't stop fiddling with everything on the table. Even when the kids aren't there, I get the kids menu so I can do the puzzles and I color the pictures. Your Family Game/s: We try to go roller skating every other Friday. It doesn't always work out that way, but that is what we try to do. The recent game we have been addicted to is Guitar Hero for Playstation 2. Shaun doesn't like it, but everyone else does. OUR game: Shaun's dad bought us this game called AtmosFear. It's a DVD board game and we thought it was going to be totally lame, but it turned out to be one of those games that we all love to play together. If you have a chance to play this game, do it. It's so much fun! Update: We picked our Wedding/Reception place today. Check my Flickr site to see the pictures. We also picked a date: July 8th, 2006 and now the question you have ALLLLLLLL been waiting for, DID YOU PLAY??

2006-02-02T01:10:00.000-08:00

*wiggling eyebrows* Okay, last year Shaun rocked the internet with the 40 things he loves about me. The story you don't know is that after finishing this task that no man should ever have to do, he crawled into bed and tried to wake me up with kisses. With one eye open I looked at him as he said, "I love you." and the first thought that came to mind was, "You been surfin' porn or somethin'?" Now, I give the internet...40 things I love about him. 40. In your waking hours I have never once heard you fart, yet when you sleep...TOOTER. 39. You will go to the store for me and all I have to do is the silly 'Pweease' voice. 38. You look really good with a tie on. 37. You are ESPN SPORTCENTER. You have every sport stat. EVER. 36. Your Chicken enchiladas. 35. You have thee most jacked up taste in music. 34. You don't smoke. 33. You don't drink. Built in 'designated driver' 32. I love your mom and dad. 31. You do math for me. 30. You'll take the cheezy cell phone so your daughter has a new, fancy one. 29. You pee in the hall bathroom so you don't wake me up in the morning. 28. You look really good in my nightgowns. 27. You can live off of Del Taco...and that's a good thing, because you never have lunch money. 26. You help me look for dead bodies and don't make me feel stupid for doing it. 25. When I say i'm going to Starbucks, you know i'm really going to the Starbucks in the casino. 24. You shield me from all the mean things your ex says about me. 23. When I slide something in the shopping cart, you sneak it back out when you think i'm not looking. 22. When my ex is being an idiot, you look at me like, "Dude, you married him." 21. You don't talk trash about my ex. If you do, it's funny stuff. 20. You try to look interested when I start talking techno-geek to you. 19. You make me binary shirts because you know I think it's sexy. 18. You sold all your Hall of Fame baseball cards so I could buy a flash for my camera. 17. You think my mom and sister walk on water. 16. You never let me win when I tackle you and say I am going to kick your ass. 15. When I tell you I am going to bite you, you just sigh and offer your hand. 14. My daughters love you. 13. You make Kara feel like she finally has someone that 'gets' her. 12. You sing like Goofy just to make me laugh. 11. You're a Raider's fan. 10. You support this crazy blogging thing I do. 09. Full on conversations when you're sleeping. 08. The way you pawn off things you don't want to do onto Tyler. 07. The way you let the car fall apart before you tell me it's time to bring it in....oh wait, that bugs the hell out of me. 06. You open doors for women. 05. Your humor. You're the funniest person I have ever met. 04. The way you smell after a shower. 03. You're totally fixed and can't get me pregnant. 02. You don't make me feel weird about my body even when I am feeling weird about my body. 01. I'm not afraid everyday like I use to be. Waking up is good thing now.

2006-02-01T09:44:00.000-08:00

Your suggestions for the flower girl dresses really got me fired up. I love the online stores. They are SO much cheaper online than at David's Bridal, but it was good for me to get out and start the process. This week, I need some ideas for cakes! Shaun brought home a flyer from Albertsons. I bought my first wedding cake from Albertsons and I have NO complaints. If you have any good / bad cake stories, please share them with me. Help me pick one out too. If there is a cake you're in love with, please send me the link!

2006-01-31T11:32:00.000-08:00

Grab your tea, coffee, or bottle of Jim Beam...it's time to dish. Things you might not know about me: I love Kid Rock. I love Eminem. I know, I know...I'm breaking mom rules here. I know, BAD WORDS...bad...BAD...bad...but I can't help it. It's the raw 'in your face-this is how I feel about life and if you don't like it, suck it-type' music. Michael Jackson's Thriller video...I can't get enough of it. I loves me some zombies dancing. I can't keep my room clean. Watching more than one person walk through my room is like watching the championship double dutch league skip their way to a trophy. Being the moron I am, I am trying to quit smoking AND go on a diet at the same time. If I don't post for a few days, you might want to contact local authorities because I might be in a pool of blood in the closet. I have MySpace. I have it to keep an eye on my kids and the crap that they might be saying. So far, having it has saved me from having to kill them with my bare hands. I catch the stuff they try to pull before they do it. I can also see what type of friends they have. THAT was a little bit eye opening. 12 year old girls writing like they had just finished reading Pissy Britches Blog. I finally had to put my foot down and call some parents. When I go check out their 'space' and there is a picture of a 13 year old girl in her chonies, ass up and smiling at the camera...it's time for me to get a bit pissed off. Needless to say, I nipped it in the bud. The 13 year old HATES me and my daughter might get their asses kicked at school, but at least that picture isn't gracing the internet anymore. While on MySpace checking to see if anyone was planning to kill me, I opened someone's space and they had this video. I turned it up and started watching it. I'm not a big fan of videos on websites because they scare the hell out of me when I don't expect it. Shea comes walking up and starts singing the song on the video. I start laughing because the thought of my daughter knowing the words to this song cracks me up. "What Mom? I thought you liked Jack Black. I guess officially it's not Jack Black, it's his band Tenacious D." and then she proceeded to sing "Tribute". I have the coolest daughter. EVER. Shaun and I picked a date for the wedding...but we might need to change it because if I can remember correctly, "that is the hottest day in the whole year and I might melt." This Friday for SPF we are going to be using some of Bill's ideas: Games People Play. 1. A game YOU play/ed 2. Your family game. (if you have a story about a game you use to play as a kid...that would be cool too!!) 3. Your Games. Now, for some of you that don't have board or video games...this is going to be really interesting to see what type of 'games' you play...and how the heck are you going to get a picture of it!! Number one is the one I am going to have fun with. Last, but of course not least...please send all applications for 'Who wants to date My Mom, The Fonz' to randomandodd at gmail dot com.

But is it fast enough so we can fly away

2006-01-31T09:23:00.000-08:00

I use to drive a former California Highway Patrol car. No, I wasn't a cop and it didn't come with the cool lights. I wish! I bought it after they had used it, painted it red and auctioned it off. The CHP did a lot of modifications to the car. The handling in that car was SWEET. I could go from 0 to "Oh shit, too fast!" in about 5 seconds. It took me about 3 months to finally be able to drive it without coming home with head and neck injuries. It took about a year for me to stop giggling every time I drove it. I let the Fonz drive my car. I don't remember exactly WHY I let her drive my car. I guess it was because she was the one who taught me the second half of driving a stick shift (Kathy taught me how to speed shift) and I felt obligated to let her take the new car for a spin. This was the one of those moments where you realize that you are finally better at something than your parents. My mom couldn't drive my car. "The clutch is too stiff! Why is it making that sound?" She looked at me like I gave her the keys to a school bus. "Mom! it'’s a sport car, that's why the clutch is so stiff. That sound it's making is you grinding the gears." She just looked at me and rolled her eyes. My mother, the Fonz, GRIND GEARS? I THINK NOT. She drove it from my aunts house to her house. By the time she pulled in the drive way I was a wreck.. The sound of the engine shutting off was the greatest thing I had ever heard. "What?" She looked at me finally able to relax in my seat. "You look stressed out? What's the matter?" "Nuthin." I didn't want to tell her that she shifted into fourth gear doing 30 miles an hour and after about 5 miles had FINALLY just gotten up to the speed to actually shift into fourth gear. Just leave it alone. This is the woman that gave birth to you. This is the woman who is the grandmother to your children. This is the woman that carries a .357 in her purse and has used the term, "I brought you into this world. I can take you out!"

When I was little I use to ask my mother, "Why do we have to drive Grandma around? Doesn't she know how to drive?"

I think I just figured it out.

2006-01-30T18:21:00.000-08:00

One step forward, two steps back. There has been drama-galore around the house today and because i'm more mature than I let you all think I am...i'm just going to say... "Ugh." and hope that all of you that have kids, ex's, step kids...you'll understand the punch that "Ugh." brings. I was watching this comedy show last night staringWhoopie Goldburg, who coincidentally has the same effect as sleeping pills on Shaun, and she said, "When the shit hits the fan, EVERYONE gets hit." In our lives at Random and Odd it doesn't matter who the drama belongs to, we all have to deal with it. There's this running inside joke with my friends that goes something like this, "If something goes wrong...Kristine did it." I could be out of town and I'll get blamed for it. This one time, some guy who had never even met me, blamed something on me. I'm use to it now...when something happens I just ask, "Whoa, did I get blamed for it?" I was on edge all day today waiting for the other shoe to drop. This drama that happened had NOTHING to do with me. It was between three people that I know. I knew it was happening because I was told it was going to happen. I didn't ask to be told, I was just told. I told Shaun about it and we decided the best way to brave this storm was to board up the windows and make sure we had lots of water, because this tornado was going to hit hard, fast and cause great damage. The storm is still brewing and I for one have decided that no matter how tempting it is to step out of the shelter to have a smoke, I will just stay put and wait it out. Somewhere down the road, mark my words...I will post the results and i'm guessing that it will start with, 'I GOT BLAMED FOR IT!' With every storm, there is a break in the crashing winds and it came in the form of a poem that Marina wrote for one of her classes. In this poem she mentions her life, where she lives and what we do for her everyday...and she thanked her father and I. Today, it was worth all the tornados, drama, poo-flying and tears.

Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?"

2006-01-29T21:43:00.001-08:00

Did you know that Hummers have ass warmers? I didn't. I spent the 2 hour drive home with a nice and toasty rear. I figured since Ruka was bringing her baby, I should bring mine. Mine of course is almost 13 and I didn't factor in the stories that would be circling the room. "Did you ever tell Kara about the time when we..." One of them would start. "EARMUFFS KARA! EARMUFFS!" It was too late, my daughter is now enlightened to all my evil ways. There is no turning back after her hearing the story about 'that one time in high school.'. I guess now that she knows about 'that one time', I can share the conversation that Shaun and I had the other day on the way home. "See that trailer park right there, Shaun!? I lived there in a tiny travel trailer when I first moved to Sacramento. I didn't know that this is where the hookers hung out!" He then told me a nice little story about the time a hooker came up to his car and scared the bejeezus out of him when he was 19. I of course, had a similar story... "I remember when I first moved down here and I was driving home from a Dungeons and Dragon's meeting STONED OUT OF MY MIND and a hooker came up to my car and scared the shit out of me..." I didn't finish the story because Shaun was laughing too hard. "Yeah, that one beats mine honey, you win." My daughter found out the wonderful details of my crazy childhood. From dating the shortest guy in school to the party in 8th grade where Bryce was out in the snow looking for the box of wine coolers. When we got home I said, "Kara, you have to understand...that was a totally different time." She asked, "Where was grandma during all of this?" "We slipped sleeping pills in her buttermilk."

2006-01-29T09:18:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday and I am getting in a car and heading to Chico to visit a friend from 8th grade. Pictures to follow. It's also what I call 'Susie Sunday'. You don't have to do anything, you just go and read the little phrase, quote, scripture...over at Susies. I love Sundays because sometimes she mentions 'hope', but she also just makes you feel like you stopped by and had a cup of coffee. Today is an important day in my sister's life. In the Seguin family, we have been through a lot. With 5 kids, i'm sure you could have enough stories about our childhood to make you cry, laugh and shake your head in disbelief for several years. We all have our stories of our childhood. The struggles we went through and how we walked out of those completely screwed up or the strongest person in the world. My sister fought for personal freedom. When you read her blog...it's just the tippity top of the surface of who she really is. If you really knew her, you would love her more than you have loved anyone you have never met. She inspires you, she makes you laugh, she lifts you up and she will drop your ass if you get mean. She is the most real person I know, hands down, ever. She is also REALLY DAMN HOT for someone who's almost FIFTY! *i love being the obnoxious little sister*

2006-01-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

Someone...I'm not saying names...SOMEONE in this house, that uses my computer, that is sleeping like a sweet snoring angel in the bed next to my computer, NO NAMES...deleted my "Spotlight" folder. It's alright, i'm pretty certain that he didn't MEAN to do it. You know what this means right? If you sent me an email saying, "Spotlight this person." or you were targeted to be spotlight, was nice enough to fill out the questions and emailed it to me where SOMEONE in this house deleted it...please resend it. JT SNOW & SARAH'S SISTERS: please resend me the emails we had going. I really would like to spotlight them, and what you all wrote about the people you love was touching and there is NO way I could recreate those words. and now I am off to call my sick sister and drain my cell phone battery.

2006-01-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

Why does everything monumental happen on Thursday? Allowing me exactly 4 minutes to upload my last minute pictures? My trip to SF today wasn't one we had expected making. During the second or third round of dress ravishing at David's Bridal last night, 'Cita got a phone call letting her know her dad was in the hospital. It was a last minute trip where I was just along to read the map and make jokes at the stupid drivers. It turned out to be much more. My role as 'co-pilot' was taken up a notch. It was an emotionally draining day that ends with me wanting to call my dad and tell him that I love him so very much and just hold him until I fall asleep. First Up *wiping away tears* My Secret: Since my sister can admit to having a life long crush on David Cassidy then I can admit my little secret...I have NEVER bought my own bra. I have NO idea what size cup or how 'around' I am. My mom has always bought me my bras. Training, Nursing and Victoria's Secret...she has bought them all. Yes internet, i'm 33 years old and I have never walked into a store and bought myself a bra. Ever. During the spell check of this, Shaun nicely pointed out, "That's weird. You've bought as many bras as I have." My Toys: Didn't see this one coming huh? Yeah...well, according to my stat counter; my mother, my sister, Tyler's girlfriend's Mom & possibly the pastor at the Baptist church I use to attend when I was little...read this blog. You'll have to pretend that I'm ballsy enough to post stuff like that. Sorry Metro. My Eyes: Shaun took this one and he's quite proud of it. (please...no comments about how artistic this picture is because if I have to see Shaun strut around this house all proud of himself and barely able to fit his big noggin through the door frames I will just barf.) Okay...you know the drill... DID YOU PLAY? *crossing fingers, hoping we get a hundred this week!* *i love shaun and if you do too...just tell him how talented he is...he's a Leo and loves the attention.

Post It Note:

2006-01-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

I'm on a long trip with a friend today. Send good vibes, prayers, strength and driving fairies. I have more pictures of little girls in dresses at my Flickr site if you get bored...leave a comment. Don't forget tomorrow is Friday... Your Toys, Your Secrets and Your Eyes is what's on your homework list. But head on over to the BLOGGERS SPOTLIGHT to see who we showcased today!

Here Comes The Flower Girl.....

2006-01-25T22:21:00.000-08:00

, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

You all modivated me to go out and have the girls try on some dresses.

Thanks Everyone...we didn't buy any, but tried on EVERY SINGLE DRESS in the store.

I'm pretty sure the sales lady lost chunks of hair and is now at home drinking Jack Daniels straight from the bottle!

My Big Fat Geek Wedding...

2006-01-25T08:10:00.000-08:00

In my unplanned wedding, I already know who the brides maid, maid of honor and flower girls are. My four girls. In every single wedding book I have, it has beautiful dresses for the brides maids, and they would lovely on my daughters IF they had a C cup and legs for days. Neither one do, but they don't want attention drawn to that fact either. The only other dresses in these magazine's are for flower girls. Those dresses are cute for my two little flower girls. Alyx and Shea. "Cute" isn't exactly the look the two older ones are going for. I need to find a dress that will make a two 13 year olds look respectful, beautiful & not like they are going to hop on a Harley after the ceremony and head off with guys named Billy and Chuck. When I go online looking for brides maids dresses I get lost in the sea of satin and chiffon. Mission One of Plan my wedding is to find some links with decent brides maid type of dresses. Today, to avoid anxiety attacks and passing out in my own drool, I am going to go see a doctor. Thanks everyone...and good luck not getting attacked by the lace on your mission!

Friday Jan. 27th - Shake it off...

2006-01-24T17:37:00.000-08:00

Jan. 27th Your Toys Your Secret Your Eyes I'm full of anxiety today. At night I take medicine to help me sleep. Without the medicine I will stay up for hours watching tv, fighting the chest crushing stress that seems to linger around late at night. I thought that if I got a few good nights sleep that the stress during the day would dwindle. It seems to have caught on to my plan and decided that today it was going to slip inside and sqeeze me until my teeth hurt and my legs ache. Your Toys: Many of you have kids and I remember when my girls were little, my favorite game to play with them was Memory. As they got older I enjoyed playing Barbie with them. Now they are into baby dolls and roller skating. I have found my own toys to play with now. (Metro...get your damn head out the gutter!) If you don't have toys...show me what you play with. Sewing? Scrapbooking? Painting? Pictures? Excersise? Memory Cards? Your Secret: Come on...you're hiding something. Show us! (hint: if you take a picture real close up, we might not be able to figure it out) Your Eyes: They are the window to the soul. Let me see your peepers.

i got a new toy I want to share!!

2006-01-24T08:59:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me if I knew how many readers I have. I said, "A few." Someone said, "According to your stat counter, how many do you have?" I said, "More than a few." I'm a big old wussy when it comes to knowing how many readers I have. I would never be able to have the little ticker on the bottom of my site telling me how many people have come here. I like to pretend that Random and Odd is just a hole in the wall bar on the corner that only a few people know about. The best thing I like about Random and Odd is that I get you guys on Fridays. On Fridays you guys not only put yourself out there, you go and comment on other people's blogs. People that sometimes don't get very many comments...and you make people happy. I love you guys all week, but I'm so happy on Fridays when I go to some new blog we've never heard of...and there you are, commenting away and saying, "Thanks for playing...welcome to the group." You guys just bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for being such an awesome group of people. SO, yesterday while Shaun was throwing up and the older girls stayed home complaining of aches and pains...I made a new website. It's a 'spotlighting bloggers' website. I'm going to try to upload new bloggers profiles so you can all get to know someone new, catch up with someone you lost contact with or just leave a comment for the featured blogger. Also..if you own your own business and you want some advertising...send me the webpage and I will throw it up on the sponsors area. (nothing that blinks though...I will seriously have an anxiety attack at the blinking blinky things) I also want an 'in memory of' portion of the blog for people we have lost. If you have a link to your blog that highlights someone's life, please send it my way. If someone knows where I can get the post or blog of Sarah Kaplan, please send it my way too. I would really like that on the spotlight blog. And your part...if you want someone's blog spotlighted, send me their email address so I can send them the questions. and now...I give you..... Spotlighting Bloggers ........

When you're weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all.

2006-01-23T09:07:00.000-08:00

Do we really want the people around us to be happy? Is it possible to let them do these things without judging them? In the never ending attempt at organizing myself, I keep finding old journals of mine. This time, it was one from high school. "Why does my mother say that all she wants is for me to be happy and then when I do the things that make me happy, she gets mad at me and I get in trouble?" I was having a conversation with Ruka who has a soon-to-be-driving daughter. "She won't be driving if her grades don't come up." She tells me. "I can't use that one on Tyler. He gets straight A's." "You know...if she flunks her Chemistry class then that means she won't be driving when Junior Prom comes around." "Ruka, is it wrong that we wish for our children to fail at something so in the long run they won't be allowed to do something potentially dangerous?" As my children get older, I realize that I am more like my mother than I ever thought I would be. My mother wanted me to be happy. She wanted me to have a boyfriend. She just didn't want me to have Ethan as a boyfriend. He was explosive, addictive and could have gotten me pregnant. How my mother didn't shoot him the head with her really big gun is what I am trying to figure out right now. So as the girls get older, the conditions of their 'happiness' is what's on the table. New shoes and jeans make the older girls happy now. I will give them these. Polly Pockets and baby dolls make the younger girls happy now. I will give them these. What happens when they get older and going camping with their friends is what is going to make them happy? I know what happens when they go camping! I swear on a stack of bibles that I was just a teenager a few days ago and I KNOW what they do when they go camping. *sidenote to my mother- I never did any of that when I went camping. Terry tried to kiss me, but I told him no. he called me a tease. I never talked to him again. But remember that houseboat trip? yeah. well.* I want to be happy too. I have made decisions in my life that have been horribly wrong and by the grace of God I manage to come through them with the love and support of my family and friends. I have also made some damn good decisions in my life that have made the happiest woman in the world. I know that when my daughter comes to me and says, "Mom, i'm not happy...I am going to do something that will make me happy." I will ask, "Are you going to be killing, hurting, drugging yourself or anyone around you?" She will say, "Only a little bit." I will say, "Wear rubber gloves...and know mommy loves you." ultimately, I want them to be happy. I want my friends and family to be happy. Can we do this without judging the actions that it takes to be happy?

#7

2006-01-22T15:48:00.000-08:00

A couple of years ago during the NFL draft, I met my 'boyfriend'. Last year, my boyfriend should have gone to the Superbowl...but those little pricks stole it away from him. NOT THIS YEAR BABY!! MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!! If the SeaChickens go to the superbowl with them, we are having one HELL OF A PARTY at my house! BYOB...and I will supply all the cursing & HD TV!!

2006-01-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

In the past week, five people from my past have contacted me in one way or another. I have certain people I have 'put away', some people that have just 'lost contact' with and other people that I can't emotionally deal with...so I pretend they died or moved to Utah. Same thing. The first was a girl I went to grade school with and to sound more mature than I am...we didn't always agree on things. Who am I kidding? She didn't like me. I always wanted to hang out with her, but she was mean. She invited all my friends to her birthday party this one year, and I was surprised she gave me invitation too. About 3 hours later, she came up to me and said she changed her mind. Then the night of her party, all my friends were over at her house for the best slumber party ever...she called me and asked me why I didn't come! I told her what she said about changing her mind and SHE LAUGHED. That was only the tip of the iceberg of mean and I realize that if I wrote about all the mean things in this post, you would be reading well into Wednesday. She sent me this very nice email. I wrote her back and I didn't mention the things she did to me and how much her words hurt me as a little girl. I called Ruka, who also went to school with her, and we came up with worst case scenarios on what happened after high school. Of course I wouldn't wish that she weights 2 tons, has lost all of her teeth and breaks out in a red rash whenever someone uses the word, 'cheerleader' in a sentence. I actually hope the best for her and I hope that she does remember and feels sort of bad for the person she was and makes a difference in the lives of her children. The other person that contacted me is someone I have mixed feelings about. She hurt me every time I came in contact with her. She slips into my life and just turns up the heat and then disappears. It's the most toxic friendship I ever had. I did something morally wrong when I was friends with this person and that action changed my life forever. I had time to sit back last night and think about these two people that in one way or another contacted me and where I need to put them in my life. The toxic relationship needs to be left alone. When I was morally bankrupt and did the things I did, I met someone. This someone changed me for the better. If this someone could speak he would say, "Are you happy?" and I would say yes. and he would say, "Then don't talk to her." During the rebuilding of 'self' with this person, he taught me how to trust again. He taught me how to ask for help. He taught me that even though people sometimes do something really wrong, you need to look at the core of who they are...and don't judge them. He taught me that I am strong in some aspects of my life and I am weak in the others. He taught me that I need to let other people take some of the load. It's because of this person that I can be with Shaun in a healthy relationship and trust him to help me, be strong where I am weak...and not to judge him. The first girl is going to benefit from the things I learned from the second. I forgive the little girl from grade school. I emailed her and told her where I was living and what I was doing. She said she now lives in a small ski resort town...Doesn't that sound like Utah?

2006-01-19T20:07:00.000-08:00

This Week: WAKE UP! My Lotions: Okay, don't be saying, "If she can afford TWO bottles of Tutti Dolci lotion, she can afford..." It was marked down to $4.50 and then 50% off that! Bath and Body Works is blowing some stuff out, if you have one near you...GO. My Towels: You didn't think my towels actually matched, did you? The Toothbrush: It's time for a new one. Did you play??

if you ever wondered why I am marrying him....

2006-01-19T19:45:00.000-08:00

Share Video at DropShots.com If you don't watch American Idol, you're going to miss out on all the fun this season. Here, this should catch you up on how the first 2 episodes went.

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

2006-01-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

If at any point you thought for a moment that I was organized or 'had it all together', this post should pretty much clear it up for you. Between two computers, I have scattered phone numbers and addresses. In order for me to locate someone, I have to stop for a moment and try to remember what part of my life they existed in. "Okay, did I talk to them pre-computer-in-bedroom days or not?" Between these two computers I have about 17,000 folders of pictures. Again, in order to locate on of them I have to check THREE different places. Computer in bedroom, computer in kitchen or the back up drive. Don't think the 'back up drive' is me being responsible, It's only there because I've crashed more computers than Evil Knievel crashed motorcycles. Kimmy sent me a letter inviting me to participate in the dish towel exchange. I had no idea such an exchange existed and was honestly surprised she invited me. She's friends with Shelli and it took Shelli about 8 months to get the toe socks I promised her. I'm really bad at things like this. I came to the conclusion that Sissy must be crazy to invite me to play so I will send her dish towels with crazy women on them. I was in Target yesterday looking for new ways to organize myself and I saw a whole row of dish towels. "Wow...look at all those dish towels." I could feel a spark in the back of my brain. "Dish Towels." I felt like the announcer for Sesame Street trying to teach a 3 year old how to pronounce certain letters and sounds. "Dish. Towels." Nope, nothing. Moving right along to the shiny pots and pans. When I got home I was dragging in my 50 gallon plastic bin, when I noticed the letter on my catch all. "DAMN IT! DISH TOWELS!" I don't have anything together. I am thee most unorganized person that ever lived. I try though. I put things RIGHT in my path so I don't forget them. On the way to the bedroom I found 3 things I swore I was going to blog about. 1. The Hope doll. 2. My John Deere hat with a wedding veil and...I forgot what the third one was. Oh wait, yes...I remember. 3. My wedding planners. That's you, by the way. Starting next Wednesday, i'm going to give you things to decide on for the wedding. I can't do all this alone and I know you all want to help me out. I finally went and bought one of those Brides magazines. *shaking head* I can buy a Playgirl without being as embarrassed as I was buying that Bride book. Did you know there is about 36 Kazbatrillon ways to write out an invitation? Realizing that it's Thursday and instead of waiting until 11 pm tonight to remember that I need to take pictures of the stuff for SPF, I decided that today will be the day that I take the pictures, write out the post and put it in my 'drafts' part of Blogger. While in there I found 4 posts I forgot to post. I think I need to change my mantra from "hope" to "remember".

I'm okay, you're okay...wait, i've used that title before.

2006-01-18T15:00:00.000-08:00

Holy crap, it's like Wednesday huh? Having Dennis and Mini-Pissy here for a week kinda threw me off. I realized something this week...I'm so damn happy i'm not 21 anymore. Your Stuff Portrait Friday assignment this week: Wake up! 1. Your lotions 2. Your towels 3. Your toothbrush It's an easy one this week. I gots some stuff to write about, but right now I have to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and debate the correct spelling of Alyx's nickname. She says, "Ally" and I say, "Aly" We go 'round and 'round about this and I blame no one but Gwen Stephani!

Have you ever...

2006-01-17T11:43:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wrote a post and then something happens and you're like, "Doh!" cause you have some stuff to write about now...but then you think about it and it's probably a good thing you already posted to your blog for the day because if you wrote about what happened you'd probably get your ass into deep shit with everyone you know because you went off and should have just...not? yeah. sometimes i think i need a private blog. wait...i do...somewhere. I need a program that remembers all the crap I sign for and keeps the user name and password. I would call that my Tyler program! and CHECK THIS OUT! Strizzay (The Fat Housewife) landed her daughter on a Jones bottle label! Go give her some LOVE!

2006-01-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

You know what I wish we had? I wish I could find a way to have my daughter Marina's brain made into a special blogger program. I could type in: "Who haven't I read in awhile?" and this program that runs on nothing but Sprite and cheese sticks could say, "According to our data, you haven't read George! in awhile." and I would then type in, "Catch me up on what he's doing..." and this program that believes that life revolves around knowing what everyone is doing at all times, who they are dating, who they like, where everyone sits in homeroom, how to text message at lighting speed and has every single phone number of every 12 year old in school would spit out, "He's been doing this...and OMG, last week you'll never believe what happened to him!" I need this program, because I suck at reading blogs and keeping up with everyone. I want to be able to sit down and say, "Alright, I have 2 hours...let's catch up with everyone." It doesn't work that way though. It takes 2 hours just to read through the posts I have missed from ONE person. It's NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE. I feel like a blog reading failure most of the time. I also wish I had a program that runs like my friend Chelsea. This program would run all the time and would be able to leave messages for EVERYONE she's ever known. It would have important things to say too. This program would be the best comment leaver. This is my way of saying that I suck...and I wish we had a little spot on our blogs that had a 'catch up' spot. A spot where I could go read it and it took like 2 minutes and then I could read the days post without being totally lost. Since we don't have those, could ya'all (dear god, mini-pissy is wearing on me!) just forgive me when I leave the lamest comments on your blog? can you forgive me for just being a lurker because I don't want to leave a comment that shows that I haven't caught up on your blog and I had no idea you had a baby or buried your husband in the backyard? I want to be a good blog reader and commenter...but you haven't seen this huge pile of laundry in my bedroom...and dear Lord, do I need to bleach the hell out of my kitchen! The next couple of weeks I might need to fall off the face of the earth in order to catch up with the stuff I have been slacking on. I did get the crock pot out of the oven though ;)

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

2006-01-16T16:41:00.000-08:00

"I hope you are able to ace the distinction I am trying to point out. In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law, as would the rabid segregationist. That would lead to anarchy. One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law."

I have read "A Letter From Birmingham Jail" by Martin Luther King Jr. more times than most people would ever admit to. The first time I read it, I was a little girl. I didn't quite understand it, but I knew the word 'oppression' 'freedom' and 'hope' must have been pretty serious for someone to write that long of a letter. The next time I read it I was in college and I was studying the great speakers of the world. This time when I read those same words I understood them, but on a different level. My oppression, freedom and hope for my life. What did I need to do to be able to free myself from a bad situation? How did I want my voice to be heard when I finally decided to speak? I began to studying black history in depth. I started out just trying to figure out why Martin Luther King had wrote that letter. As I dug deeper, I went back further. I rented movies about the little girls that will killed in the church bombing. I cried A LOT. Through everything that I read, I kept coming back to the letter he wrote from Jail. He sounded so familiar, speaking with conviction of the heart. I was trying to remember where I had read something that moved me as much as his letter did. I finally remembered what it was. The Declaration of Independence. Freedom is something that people have been fighting for. Using everything from fists to bombs. Martin Luther King Jr. taught us to use our words...and to use them right. Whenever I am angry about something said to me, or in more cases than not, emailed me...I slow down a second and try to write something that I would want in return, even if I didn't deserve that respect. Respect. Freedom. Hope. I wish that for everyone. Even the Anonymous people that write horrible emails and leave nasty comments to me and the people I care about. I know it's hard not to stand up for someone that is being attacked verbally in this forum. I know it's hard for me not to get angry as well...but just slow down for a second and use your words in a way that later when you go back and read what you said in the heat of anger, you're not going to have any regrets, to be proud for the words for you wrote and the effect that it had on the people around you. This is one of the million things I have learned from reading MLK Jr. " We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."

2006-01-15T23:00:00.000-08:00

I put some Broadway nails on tonight. I glued all of my fingers together. I had to gnaw myself free and then I got glue ON.MY.TEETH. Shaun and Tyler wanted me to watch " 24 " with them tonight and I have found the only way to get me to stick to the couch and watch the whole thing is to glue myself down. If I have something to do while watching TV, i'm more prone to watch the show. 24 is a great show. I watched it a couple seasons ago and I really liked it, but I don't want to commit to yet another television show. The people who wrote " 24 " know how to get people to watch though. Bastards. After the show I realized I had a memory card full of potentially cool shots from mini-golf tonight. When I sat down to download I ran my fingers through my hair and I guess I had some undried glue under my nails. I now have a bald spot and hairy fingernails. Martin Luther King day is tomorrow. To me, this is one hell of an important day. If you write about him, please comment so I don't miss what you have to say. Dennis and Mini-Pissy are going to be here, but I want to take some time to write about his words and what they mean to me...I hope to God my thumb isn't still glued to my pinky by then!

2006-01-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

Friday was crazy for the Stone Baland household. We had 3 interviews to do and managed to snake out of 2 them. The Placer Herald came over and took pictures early in the afternoon so we had the rest of the night to enjoy some family time. Dennis is home from Afghanistan and he brought his girlfriend from Alabama with him to California. What an adorable thing she is. She's like a mini-Pissy Britches! On Friday we had The Cunninghams come out and have dinner. Yes, Shaun's parents over for dinner! How domesticated are we? After everyone had left, 'Cita and I took Mini-Pissy out to the casino because she had never been to one. We all hung out at the .2 cent machines and could play for a long time on 10 bucks. When we slinked in at 1 am, Dennis and Shaun were already asleep. I came in to check my email and 5 minutes later I get a tiny little knock at the door. Elizabeth peeked her head in and showed me a brand new engagement ring! I don't know how long he waited there for her to come home before he fell asleep with the ring in hand. I'm going to be a horrible step mother in law huh? The next day Shaun took Dennis to see "Hostel" and I took the kids to the mall. I don't know which one is more scary and brutal. Now I am off to see chronicles of Narnia with the kids, step kids, neighbor kids and ex-husband. For those of you interested: The Sacramento Bee Article

take a couple of minutes today....

2006-01-14T02:08:00.000-08:00

If you have some time today, Please take a few minutes to go to Kalki's photo page. Click Previous and view some of the pictures she has taken. If I had a one big wish, I would wish that people like WOM and Kalki lived next to me so I could learn a few things.

"give it to me baby...uh-huh"

2006-01-13T12:14:00.000-08:00

If you didn't already know how cool Cat is... CLICK HERE to find out. This will totally make your Friday! Do you realize that American Idol is right around the corner? and this means MULTIPLE visits to Cat's blog until we pick our new AI. It also means, Shaun and Cat banter back and forth. This year I have a video camera so you will get to see him taunting Cat with his impressions of Cat's favorite singers. Some people like Christmas...I like this time of the Blogger Year!

2006-01-12T23:11:00.000-08:00

Something you're afraid of- Lawn Gnomes. Definitely lawn gnomes. If I had an alleyway with Freddy Krueger on one side of me, and a garden with on of these bastards in it, I'm taking my chances with the knives. There is nothing good about these things.

Your lucky charm- These little guys have been in every car I've owned. THere's a peace sign earring that I got from my very first boyfriend. The turtle is part of a good luck charm the Fonz made for me. Little charms that keep me safe from red lights, the Highway Patrol, and driveways near lawn gnomes.

Something Friday the 13ish- Awwwwww, if Shaun ever decided to be a serial killer in the movies, this would definitely be the cover. Creeeeeeeepy. Can't wait to see this week's entries, should be an interesting collection!!! Did you play?

2006-01-12T10:42:00.000-08:00

I GET IT! I get the joy of teaching a dog a new trick! When we got rid of the papasaun chair I kept the padding part. Last week I grabbed it out of the garage and layed it on the kitchen floor for Halo. She loved it. Shaun came home and of course joked about it. "Nice Ritz cracker you got there Halo" I taught Halo not to go in my room or the living room, the only two rooms with carpet. She does pretty good. She's like a 12 year old little girl and does it behind my back when she thinks I'm not paying attention though. For the most part, she's doing better than I expected. Yesterday Shaun gave Halo a treat and out of habit she ran to her 'Cracker'. I had pulled her cracker down the hallway in front of my bedroom so I could sit in my room and know she would be sitting there waiting for me to come out. She didn't like the cracker down there, so after Shaun gave her the treat she tried pulling the cracker back into the kitchen. Today I was filling out this interview thingy and Halo kept nudging my arm and then licking my feet. Nothing grosses me out worse than dog tounge....no, I take that back, I hate sour cream...that stuff gives me the heebie jeebies. I took a second and I talked to the dog. I'm not a dog talker to-er, but she needed some dog conversation since Mooshu is a bitch and is too snooty to talk to her. "What's up dog?" *cold nose to the foot* "Ewwww, HALLLLOOO. Stop it. I hate it when you do that." *nudging of my hands with her wet nose* "HALO...ew. Just talk to me, tell me what you want." "Well, Kristine I would really like for you to teach me how to catch a ball out of the air." I wasn't too shocked that my dog could talk. I mean, she does stash lollipops. My dog is a friggin' genius. I sat there and explained to her the art of catching the ball while it's still in the air. TWO ATTEMPTS. That's all it took. Two. Now If I can teach her that jumping up on the damn counter is off limits, I would be a happy dog owner!

2006-01-11T20:24:00.000-08:00

I love Ebay, God knows I do...but they messed up our auction and it had to be relisted as one. For those of you that had us on your watched list...please click HERE to re-add us to your watching list. Unless you are rolling in money, own a casino or have a sugar daddy/mommy that will jump at your command...DO NOT bid on my auction...I love you...I do...but please, we just need the watchers so Ebay will feature it in the Pulse and the big companies can pick it up. Hopefully. If not...I become Mrs. Baland at the courthouse in Auburn and I'm just as happy with that! For those of you that don't believe in this, don't go there...go somewhere where it isn't. I'm okay with it. The Sacramento Bee is calling my mother to interview her. The Fonz in black and white...you all ready for that? She's so excited. I think she has rehearsed what she is going to say for the last 12 hours. My sister is kicking ass at kicking the smoking habit. Go tell her she's doing good. She's an attention whore and would love it if you did. (I love being the obnoxious little sister) Dennis is home from Afghanistan!! Flickr pictures are already uploaded, and more to come on Friday. This post is brought to you by Hooters Restaurant. (sorry, just practicing!!) hee hee.

2006-01-10T14:59:00.000-08:00

I let Kathy take pictures with the BAMF - Proof that I am a better sister than she is. I'm surprised I could sleep last night. I guess the cost of the Tylenol PM is well worth it. When I woke up I thanked the dream Gods for letting me not have nightmares about something horrible. Normally when something huge is going on in my life, I have REALLY bad nightmares. This last week has been a big, emotional week for me. I was due. On the way home from Redding, I started thinking about the people I hadn't talked to in a long time and I scrolled through my phone list to make some calls. I called my friend, Bob. He's a DJ in Redding and the last I heard wasn't doing so good. I called AOM to thank her for all the work she did for me on the Ebay Auction. I also called my friend Ruka. I've known Ruka since 6th grade and we've always had this rollercoaster friendship. In the past few years we are on a good ride and I think we'll be fine from here on out. Ruka just had a baby and I swore to her that if she didn't bring that baby by so I could get some shots of him for her I was going to have to tell the internet about the time we stole her mother's car and drove it to Chico and snuck in a bar. Little does she know, I can't tell that story to the internet because I haven't told my mother that story yet. *Slapping hand over mouth* Oh, well, looks like I just did. Good thing Ruka brought her son over to see Auntie Kristine. There is something about a 3 month old baby that just makes me happy. Is it the baby powder smells? is it the cute noises they make? Is it the radical arm movements that make them look like they are going to take flight? I don't know, but I got me some baby lovin' today. 202 pictures later, she finally packed up her baby that will forever be seeing the blinding flash of the D70. I'm not sure if i'm tired out from holding, feeding, burping and lovin' on the baby or I'm still recovering from the funeral, but i'm tired. REALLY tired. Tonight a reporter from the Sacramento Bee is coming out to interview us. There will be no recording cameras so I think I might survive it. We have another radio interview to do on Friday morning for a radio station. There is NO way I can drink that much coffee to insure that I will be awake enough to understand the DJ at 7am. If you happen to catch that one, I want to apologize now. Something I have been thinking about since this whole thing started; The importance of your mother's approval. You know, there really isn't anything that anyone can say that matters about the choices people make...as long as your mother has your back. My mom is totally behind us 100% and it's not because I've always made the right choices. You, my readers, the internet she knows, have shown her something about trust and human kindness. I thank you for that. I also thank my mother for ALWAYS standing behind me through anything I do....I mean...the stuff you know about... ...you probably wouldn't have stood behind me when Ruka and I stole her mother's car and got pulled over on the way home and ALMOST thrown in jail for being out past curfew with expired tags. Yeah, you would have probably kicked my ass. 1. Something you're afraid of. 2. Your Lucky Charm. 3. Something Friday the 13th ish (get creative)

I can only imagine

2006-01-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

The funeral I had this week went well. For those of you that are keeping score; After the Ebay Auction & Alyx's birthday, I had to drive to Redding for Dean's funeral. I thought I would do better than I did at the funeral. It's been a long time since I had seen Dean and as much as she was a huge part of my life growing up, I had moved away and lost contact and only got updates when something happened with the Ivey family. When we walked in there were several photos of her. I couldn't spend more than a second looking at them because I could feel that tightening in my throat. She was all smiles in her pictures and I had forgotten how when she smiled her eyes got squinty and cute. Her middle son, Duane, spoke and the tears he was holding back made me want to cry for him so he wouldn't have to. He told about the moment Dean left this world and how he saw the freckles on her nose just appear. He said the lines in her face just softened...and she was at peace. When her oldest son, Billy came up to speak the tears and sadness made him pause. His vulnerability caught me off guard. Billy was the strong one in the family, he was their rock...right? When his words finally made it out, the raw emotion tore at me. I had to grab our family rock's hand. My sister looked at me when I clutched her and I knew at that moment that even though Kathy is strong, this was getting to her too. The three boys stood in front of her coffin as everyone said their goodbyes. I thought of turning around and waiting in the back for them to come out, but my mom headed to say her goodbye to Dean and I wanted to be strong for my mom. I followed her, but vowed not to look. A few years ago, my brother's friend, Timmy died in a car accident. Timmy, Michael (my brother) and Jason (Dean's youngest) were best friends growing up and even though each of them went in different directions as they got older, there friendship was something that time and distance couldn't take away. I hadn't seen Jason in many years and when I did, he was standing there looking at Tim's smiling picture, my heart broke for him. He had lost his childhood friend. My brother was strong and probably wouldn't cry in front of the crowd of people saying their last goodbyes, but Jason wasn't ashamed and was crying like a little boy. When he saw me standing there wanting nothing more than to hug him and make him stop crying, he came at me with two hugging arms and buried his face in my shoulder and cried. I felt horrible. His sobs were accompanied by a gagging cough. He pulled away from me with wide eyes and started laughing. "I just inhaled and choked on your hair!" We both started laughing and the tears stopped for awhile. Today he had that boy-like look about him as he cried and hugged people saying good bye to his mother. My eyes locked with his and his head cocked to the side a little bit and his eyebrows rose as he tried not to cry any harder. He didn't stop staring at me until I got over to him. He pulled me into hug me and I stopped him. "Hold on Jason, let me pull my hair back so you don't choke on it." He smiled...and then he laughed when he remembered. He pushed my hair aside and hugged me and giggled again. For a brief moment, during that day, that bitter sweet day, he laughed. I was wrong about my brother though. He did cry. There is something heart shattering about seeing a grown man cry. I never wanted to see it again because the squeezing of my heart would never be able withstand that pain. Today I watched three grown men stand in front of their mother's coffin and cry. For a second I realized that those could be my brothers someday and the wave of emotion finally hit me. I walked up behind my mother who always seemed so tall and strong and hugged her. She felt smaller than before. She felt fragile in my arms. "Mommy, I don't want you to die. I don't want to see you like that." I had broken my vow not to look into the coffin. "promise me." I knew she couldn't though, and my heart shattered in my chest for the hundred time in an hour. I promised that I wouldn't start crying until I got home and locked the bedroom door to write this post. The tears haven't stopped yet. On the way back to my mom's house we heard a song by MercyMe. The song is called, "I Can Only Imagine". During the funeral everyone that took a moment to speak about Dean mentioned how she sang all the time. She sang Elvis songs every single day of her life. She danced too. Her and my mother would dance in her living room to Jailhouse Rock. Dean would end the song with, "Thank you...Thank you very much." In the song by MercyMe the lead singer is talking about what it will be like when he goes to Heaven and sees Jesus;

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine

Dean......she'll dance.

And the days go by like a strand in the wind in the web that is my own

2006-01-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

Every year on Alyx's birthday cake I write, Happy ~~5th~~ Birthday. I then have to put the real age on there. She came to me this year and asked that I remember that this was her NINTH birthday and not her FIFTH. When Alyx was little I told her that she couldn't get any bigger and she promised me that if I let her turn 5 that she wouldn't get any older or bigger. I let her turn five and try as she might, that little girl keeps getting bigger. She's still the smallest girl in her class and she hasn't moved into size 1 shoes yet. She's trying. When Kara turned 9 I didn't have any other child to reference the growth to. When I was talking to the anchor woman about Alyx I said, "She turns 9 tomorrow." it wasn't until I heard the woman say it on the news that it hit me. When Kara was 9 she was totally different than Alyx. The two girls are totally different in so many ways. Kara was more grown up. Alyx is more mature. Is it because I have more older kids in my house that it seems like Alyx is so much younger than Kara was? When Kara was nine I was thinking about going to a looney bin to cope. Kara challenged me every single day to be a stronger parent. I remember standing in the middle of the room jumping up and down screaming at a 9 year old and she stood across from me doing the same thing. If you had put boxing gloves on both of us, i'm sure she would have come out victorious. Alyx has never questioned my authority. She has never argued to get her point across. I don't think she has ever even raised her voice at me. Because of this...I gave her the birthday party she always wanted. She got to invite all the girls from her class to the rollerskating rink. It was hot, it was muggy and it smelled funky, but she was so happy. All of the girls showed up and brought her neat toys. I want to take a second in the middle of this post to say thank you to my friend 'Cita and my Beautiful friend Lisa. The other day I called them in a panic, "NEWS COMING. HELP!" They both showed up within 5 minutes and helped make sure the house was spotless before they got here. The crock pot is still in the stove and I can't find vacuum cleaner, but the place looked great. They are always there to help me when I need them. I can't remember a time I haven't called them in tears and they got me laughing again. The birthday party was no different. 'Cita, along with all the other adults, helped make sure the kids had a great time. When we got home we raced for the latest video game that has us bonding. Guitar Hero. If you have PlayStation 2 you have to get this game. I have mastered, "I love Rock and Roll" and "I wanna be sedated". I'm still on the easy level though. It's like that dance revolution game and Simon all in one. Alyx had a bunch of friends over playing baby dolls and Bratz. Looking at her holding the little baby, she almost looked 5 years old again. I think I should have gotten that agreement where she promised not to grow up, in writing. P.S. 'Cita, don't forget you're picking up Alyx and Shea so I can go to the funeral.

2006-01-06T23:11:00.000-08:00

Share Video at DropShots.com I look like a dork, they spelled Shaun's last name wrong, but outside of that I think it went well. They editted out the blank look in my eyes.

Well, we big rock singers, we got golden fingers, and we're loved everywhere we go.

2006-01-06T17:06:00.001-08:00

I am going to give props to people that stand in front of camera and do interviews. There is NO WAY I can do this again. I was a wreck! Shaun of course got the butter questions and then the camera got on me I got the hard ones. I think I took "Deer in the headlights" look to a whole new level. The interview went well. They fell in love with Alyx and when she mentioned she sold her blog frog picture on Ebay, the decided to interview her holding the picture. (The owner of the blogfrog picture hasn't emailed me to tell me she's back in town so I can send it to her) She did better than I did. At least when they asked her questions she didn't get that blank look on her face and start mumbling incoherently. Shaun said he will Tivo the news and put it on a DVD for you all. Today was a roller coaster day for me. Thank you for the supportive comments and emails. They will be stuffed in my coffin when I die of heart attack from all of this.

2006-01-06T04:08:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the first Stuff Portrait Friday of 2006! This week we went with 'Before & After & New' The Before Picture: The After Picture: Tyler spent many hours 'helping' his dad put this thing together (Shaun don't read this part -- Tyler put this thing together nearly all by himself. It came out SO much better than the lopsided BBQ he made last summer) The chair was a STEAL from Target (waving to all the obsessive Target readers out there) and I couldn't be more happy with it. I thought it was going to be all cheap, but people think I got it from a furniture store. Target...who would have guessed? The 'dvd/cd/electronic hider' was also a purchase from Target (God I love Shaun's grandma and those gift cards!) and last, but FAR from least: My new favorite thing. Now...I'm going to have to explain this to you because there isn't a picture for it, it's a link. Shaun and I are THRILLED beyond belief by the support you have shown my mom, my family and pretty much everyone you all come in contact with. My mom, she's going to Hawaii. You guys have nearly got her there in two days. TWO DAYS! She hasn't stopped crying yet. I want to take a second to mention that a donation was made in a name today. Her name is Sarah Kaplan and she recently passed away. Sarah was very loved and loved to make people happy. I think that was so awesome to donate in someone's name and Her name will be added to the "Thank You" list on the left side of my blog. And on a completely different note, Bucky...I'm going to totally kiss you on the lips when I finally meet you. 'nuff said. So, after that ramble I am going to tell you about something Shaun and I decided to do. We have talked about this many hours and we figured if someone can make 150,000 off a pixel on a website, or can make 800.00 on a pine needle... we could make some money on Ebay too. We won't ask you to bid, but we just ask you that if you are an ebayer, just put us on your 'Watching' list and if you have an down day on your blog and want to send a link to our auction, please do so. We have sent emails out to promotional places and some to tv and radio stations to get this seen. I called my mom and I told her and to my shock, she thought it was a good idea. I told my best friend who I would have sworn would have disowned me and she thought it was a great idea. We know there will be some people that hate us for doing it, but it's time to start selling some kids off and the weakest one has GOT TO GO. JUST KIDDING! We're going to keep the kids...in fact we are doing it for them. All of our kids have been promised by their other parents to take them to Hawaii. I'm sure if the other parents could have done it, they would have. I have NO doubt about it. The truth of the matter is, they've never been and since we want to be their favorite parents, we are going to take them. JUST KIDDING...but no really...we want them to go with us. Besides, we are the favorite parents. I'm going to get my ass kicked huh? ANYWAY, Dear Lord this is harder than telling my mother I was pregnant. We are auctioning off parts of the wedding. There, I said it. Yes, we are auctioning off some of my vows, some of his, the best man's toast & the wedding dance.

Go check it out...and add us to your 'watching' list.

Please, no hate mail. If you're going to send me hate mail, send it with a batch of brownies or something.

The West coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tanned

2006-01-05T11:28:00.000-08:00

I called The Fonz a little while ago to tell her that people are donating and soon we will have enough for the airfare to get her there. Not enough to get her home yet, but we all know she won't want to leave anyway. My mom burst into tears. I hate it when she does this because my mom is laugher. She laughs and it makes you laugh. When she cries...you cry. Through her tears and blubbering words I heard this, "I don't understand. I don't understand how people you don't even know would send me to Hawaii. These people, you don't know what their faces look like, but they love you and they come to read you. I don't know how this happens. Tell the bloggers that I love them." Then more crying, gulping for air and blathering. Bloggers (and some of you that don't blog because they haven't picked up their camera in awhile or fantastic Lurkers) My mom, The Fonz says: Thank you, I love you! In the past year you have done so much. You have prayed away cancer, you have saved Penguins (I will explain that one later), you have made my mother cry with tears of joy. How did I get the coolest people on the internet reading my blog? I swear, I want to marry every single one of you and have your internet babies. I want to give you something...like a friendship bracelet, a coke, flash you my boobs...SOMETHING. Charlotte at Raggedy Hollow is donating her "Hope" doll for auction to get my mother to Hawaii. It got me to thinking about things I could auction off too...and I honestly don't think my drawing of a frog would bring in as much as Alyx's. You've all seen my stuff, what would you bid on? *Crossing fingers, hoping they don't say, "your John Deere sweatshirt *no, the picture of me and RSG flashing our boobs at the bar is not up for sell...yet. Besides, Nilbo would outbid all of you on the first day!

the bell hop's tears keep flowin' and the desk clerk's dressed in black

2006-01-04T11:28:00.000-08:00

In Shingletown there where a few families that if you say their name, people remember them. We were The Seguins. Some people would remember our name because of my brothers. Good looking, football players...trouble makers and heart breakers. Kathy was beautiful and stubborn...and I was that cute little Seguin girl with big brown eyes and was always covered in dirt. Another family name was the Iveys. Mike and Dean had 3 really handsome boys that hung out with my Mom's 3 handsome boys. Not always a good combination, but it kept both families on their toes. My mom and dad had great friends; Betty and Terry & Mike and Dean. Between the three families they kept Coors Beer Company in business through the 70's. I have YEARS of memories filled with these people. I have stockpiled sound bites in my head of my mother laughing, Betty Pullen singing and the sound of Elvis Presley coming from Dean's house. Dean had every single Elvis album, an original white scarf he gave her on her birthday and more Elvis nicknacks than any person should ever own. She would cry on the anniversary of his death and would celebrate his birthday. A few weeks ago my sister blogged about Dean going into the hospital. I called Dean to tell her that I was glad she was going home and that she needed to hurry up and get better because I didn't want my mom getting any ideas about thinking it was alright to be getting sick. Dean laughed and joked with me. Then I said goodbye. Dean passed away yesterday. It's sad, but it scares the shit out of me. I'm scared. She was the same age as my mother and even though my mom has spent the last 20 years avoiding booze, I realize she did a lot of damage to herself when she was drinking and taking pills. Last night I was laying in bed and I was hit with a panic attack. It wasn't the normal anxiety attack, I panicked! It felt like my body had a medal sheet through me and someone had shook it. My mother, at some point, will die. That thought alone makes me want to scream. Years from now I don't want to say, "I wish I would have gone here or done this" with my mom. My mom has been to exactly 3 states in her life and only rode an airplane once. She has never seen the waters of the ocean from high above, smelled Plumera in the airport or walked along a beach with water so blue you felt if you didn't cry, you were doing the place an injustice. In the past month, Shaun and I decided that we couldn't afford to get married in Hawaii. At this point, I can't afford NOT to. All the things that seemed important about getting married don't seem so important anymore. I'm going to do what it takes to get my mom and sister on an airplane bound for the islands to watch me get married for the last time. Then I am going to watch my mother smile, laugh and enjoy what she has always deserved, a real vacation. I love you, Mom!

i take one one one cause you left me

2006-01-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

Remember your first 'real' boyfriend? Remember when you two broke up? My friend, Chelsea, is going through that right now. Chelsea belongs to my Beautiful Friend, Lisa...but she's my 'friend' and not just my friend's daughter. I've watched Chelsea go from a little girl to a beautiful young woman and from extreme happiness to tears. My heart is breaking for her. My first heart break came from Ethan Thompson. I didn't understand why he wanted to be my boyfriend and then would break up with me a week later. I wouldn't kiss him. The truth of the matter is at 15 I had never been kissed by a boy. The thought of a guy leaning in for a kiss would make me so uncomfortable that I would turn 18 shades of red and my stomach would growl uncontrollably. I'm sure it's those two factors that saved me from being a teenage parent. Ethan was from San Diego and I was from Shingletown, to say 2 different worlds is like comparing Earth to Uranus (sorry, I just wanted a reason to say your anus) and I wasn't a city girl at all. I get lost in a paper bag and on one way streets. He owned a skateboard and those crazy bangs. He smoked pot. He was way too cool for me. Out of all the girls he picked me. It wasn't out of the normal for me to become friends with the new kid. I guess I was easy to talk to and I didn't try to shove my phone number in his locker between every class. I actually dated a lot of the cute guys in school...they just all broke up with me...because I wouldn't kiss them. Ethan broke up with me more times than I care to admit. He kept coming back though and I kept saying 'okay'. The break up that broke my heart was the one where I finally was told WHY I was being broke up with. There's something to hearing about your downfalls during a break up that make it worse. Ethan said I was prude and an 'ice princess'. Jeff said I would never amount to anything & would drive a pinto. Matt said he liked Carrie better. Falamoe....well, there's a good chance that he was gay...and a good chance that might be my fault because I wouldn't kiss him. My heart was broken into a million pieces and I wrote every painful moment down. When I heard that Chelsea was hurting, I pulled down that diary and I read it again. I cried for the little Kristine and I cried for Chelsea. I know when my girls get their heart broken the first time I will cry again. Chelsea still reads my blog even though I mention horrible things like breast hair and *wiggling eyebrows*, but this one time I will allow her to read it so she can read the comments that you'll all leave her telling her that she's going to be okay...and share a little of your first heartbreak.

Stuff Portrait Friday - Before & After...

2006-01-02T16:47:00.000-08:00

We have new readers to Random and Odd that have NO idea what SPF is or how it works. So here is how SPF works: You email me suggestions of three things you would like to see pictures of (by the way, i'm running out...send me more suggestions) I pick 3 ideas from the list and on Mondays (sometimes Tuesday...or Wednesday) I will write a post telling you what the three pictures of the week will be. With your handy dandy digital, you go take pictures of the three suggestions. Thursday night or Friday morning you post the pictures on your blog and then come back here and say, "Wow, Kristine...I love your picture of fuzzy toe socks...and by the way...I PLAYED!" and then everyone can go check out your stuff. If everyone is nice, they leave you a comment. It's simple, but you guys just love it...so I keep doing it. Jan 6th - SPF 1. Show me BEFORE 2. show me AFTER 3. Show me your new favorite thing Now this can be a picture of anything from before, your hair..your before make up picture...your yard...your bedding... of course, after is what It looked like after you did it. and some of us got some cool stuff with our gift cards/presents or kick ass in-laws...so show me what your new favorite is!! Any suggestions for the week of FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH!!??

2006-01-02T10:24:00.000-08:00

Most of you know that I use to work for a company that would send Mystery Shoppers out to businesses to make sure everything was run well, was clean and you got good customer service. This job was awesome because I got to pay people for doing things they liked to do. For those of you that are thinking about doing it professionally and making hundreds of dollars, sit back down...you make hardly nothing, but you do get free things and good meals. At the end of the day I would have piles of reports I had to go through. I loved to read the things that people had to say; "I found a band-aid in my salad!" "That was the cleanest bathroom I have ever been in!" "Did you know that on the NJ Turnpike they have HEATED TOILET SEATS in the Sunoco bathrooms!!??" "The customer service was rotten!" When you read the last statement, it's a red flag. That is the MAIN thing that a shopper watches for. How were you treated? was it in a timely manner? would you go back based on the customer service you received? The day after Christmas, I cashed in all my gift cards and I ordered online the one thing I have been wanting since Auntie Patties birthday party. A flash. I had been reading up on it for awhile..trying to figure out if I should go with the 600 or the 800 and after talking to the Gods on Flickr, I decided I would go with the 600. The 600 has more of what I am wanting and it actually costs less. I priced around and BuyDig.com had the cheapest price... and the WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE! Sometime after the purchase I was sposta get a tracking number. I didn't get one, so I decided to call and check....make sure all was right with my new baby. I was on hold for 10 minutes (9:57) when I finally got someone on the phone and I don't know if she was Russian or Greek, but I had NOOOO idea what she was saying. After three attemps I realized that Cooshtumer Noom-er is actually, "Customer Number" and when I tried to give it to her she said, "I no hear you." and hung up. Frustrated and mumbling, "Ohhh hell no she didn't!" I called back. I was on hold for another 15 minutes before I decided to give up and just blog about it. How can this be? How can in this day and age customer service suck so bad? Shaun went into Radio Shack the other day and got horrible customer service. HOW? Do you see this? This is my foot going down, NO MORE BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE! I bought my 50mm lens from Ritz Camera online. They have a 24/7 online customer service that I had to use when I gave the zip code to Guam during my order. They fixed the problem ON THE SPOT. The flash should have been purchased from Ritz for doing me right the first purchase, but I was just trying to save a few bucks. So the point of this ranting post...don't buy camera stuff from buydig.com, the customer service sucks.

I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold...

2006-01-01T13:09:00.000-08:00

Rock on, Internet...rock on.

Okay, I thought I had escaped the dreaded hang-over, but I had a delayed reaction until I ate. Suddenly the head was pounding...I could hear "whooop whoop whooop" as I sat there trying to read the paper. I took a couple pills and climbed back into bed. The sound of Shaun typing on the computer sounded like a 300 lb tap dancer in the corner of my room. I managed to fall asleep. The benefits of getting some sleep didn't out-weigh the nausea you feel when you wake up from the nap. No one told me that. Someone should have told me that. Last month Shaun and I bought a Kodak digital camera for the video capabilities. When I gave the Fonz my old camera I didn't realize that I would no longer have any way to video tape those special moments in the car when Shaun is singing "Jingle Bell Rock" in his Pee Wee Herman voice. This camera is much like the one I gave The Fonz, but a little bit bigger, less megapixels and it shoots out this crazy green light. I was banished to the Kodak camera last night because I was drinking. Nothing says "New Years Regret" like dropping a thousand dollar camera. Shaun doesn't drink so he got to play with BAMF all night. I know how lucky I am to have the D70, but it's not until I was using the Kodak (by the way, the Kodak's name is Tim...because compared to the D70--he's tiny) that I realized how spoiled I have become. "What the hell is wrong with this thing? IT WON'T SHOOT!" "Kristine, it just took a picture, you have to give it a second to take another one." "piece of crap. oh god, what the hell is this?" "That is called the lens cap, Kristine. Put down the glass of wine if you're going to take a picture like that." "Why can't I see through the hole?" "Because you have the viewfinder on the back, it's just...God Kristine, here...take the D70." It was at that moment that I realized that I shouldn't take the D70. I had already spilled merlot on 'Cita's carpet and later found out that SOMEHOW it got on the ceiling. "No, it's okay." I looked down at the little camera and decided that much like my prom date in high school, he wasn't very studly, he could probably do the trick for the night. I then turned the camera back on, only to have it shut off mid picture. "WHAT THE HELL? THE BATTERY DIED!?" The D70 shoots around 800 pictures before the battery dies. and much like the end of my prom night, I realized...size does matter. This drunken prom date wishes everyone a Happy New Year!

slurring

2006-01-01T02:09:00.000-08:00

Happy...*hick* new year. It was the best newest year ever. no really. happy new year. hope it was as *hicK* good as mine. I can'f eel my findergers. hee hee.

a short year in review...

2005-12-31T12:50:00.000-08:00

Last Year's New Years Party Last year on this day I was not happy. I was sad & frustrated...and fed up. I was done. I've never been a big fan of New Year's day anyway. It seems like all the really bad things in life, I found out on or near New Years Day. When I was 16 I found out on a 45 minute trip to town that my best friend slept with my boyfriend. We were half way to where we were heading when new years rolled over. I was sitting in between the two of them. It was horribly painful to not be able to get out of the car or beat the living hell out of them. When I was 18 I found out that my parents still had sex on more than just New Years Day. They had sex a lot. That just grosses me out. I love The Fonz...but EWWW. just...eww. I found out in 1999 that the party I was waiting for, SUCKED. Prince was so wrong. I now party like it's 1988 instead. One New Years a few years ago I found out the guy I was obsessed with was with someone else. The next year I spent New Years rearranging my furniture and avoiding breaking up with someone that I was with only because I was lonely. One New Years I was with someone that wouldn't kiss me in public because he didn't want our friends to know we were sleeping together. Last year, it wasn't any better. It was almost the end of my relationship with Shaun. This year marks a huge accomplishment in my life. I was in a relationship that I wasn't sure I wanted to work out. I stuck with it instead of just walking out. I WORKED for this relationship. So tonight when it rolls over to 2006 I will know that last year was one of the better years in my life. I wasn't obsessing over someone I couldn't have, I wasn't with someone that was embarrassed of us and I wasn't trying to figure out how to end a relationship I didn't want to be in. I earned this year.

2005-12-29T23:48:00.000-08:00

Watching The Ball Drop- 2006 As Dick Clark is dusted off and joins Ryan Seacrest (third sign of the apocolypse, I believe) for the televised beginning of 2006, we bloggers pause momentarily to reflect on 2005. My New Year's Resolution Lenses. They are a integral part of my photography obsession. I've actually put together a formidable collection of these bad boys, now I need to master them. So my resolution for 2006 is to improve my photographic skills by learning these things inside and out. So if you were sick of all the 2005 photos, get out now. My Favorite Picture of 2005 SOOOOO many pictures to choose from.....but this one was a fun one that actually ended up becoming my blog masthead for many months of 2005. The photo is actually one Shaun took of me taking a picture of Alyx while we were all on a very secluded beach in Pacifica, CA. Deciding on my favorite photo was a toughie, but if it has to be just one...... Something I'll be GLAD to leave behind in 2005 &*^$@*&*^$ Ugly curtains must go in 2006. They're ugly. They don't match our room. And they're ugly and don't match our room. They are gone in 2006. Along with several other home improvements, the great curtain replacement will surely make its way to Random and Odd (that would be the day you want to skip...maybe go outside or something). Well, everyone have a great and safe New Year's! 2006 should be a fun one.

Lights out...

2005-12-28T01:25:00.000-08:00

I watched "One Flew Over the cuckoo's Nest" tonight. Shaun fell asleep half way through, and even though I'm not a big movie watcher, I was too lazy to get up and turn it off. I watched it all the way through. After it was over I thought; Anxiety. yes. Mentally Ill. no. I turned off the tv and got into bed thinking about how much Jack Nicholson reminded me so much of an old friend of mine, Dale. He has the same 'Devil may care' attitude. I talked to Dale the other day online. He got married. I'm getting married too. I'm getting married. I need to set a date. I guess I need to set a timeframe of how long it will take me to lose this weight so I can fit into a dress. It's about here I realize what I am doing. I'm going into 'anxiety mode'. I rub my eyes and scratch my scalp real hard. That might help clear my head enough to go to sleep. The lights are off. The TV is off. Shaun's asleep right here. I'm safe. Sometimes if I roll over it will shut off the anxiety or redirect my thoughts. Now on my left side I am thinking about the car. I need to renew the insurance. They are going to want some sort of payment up front. I'm going to have to use some of the child support check to take care of that. I need to call the ex tomorrow and have him...oh God. I can't breathe. I sit up and try rolling over to the other side. The other side is full of everything I left over on the other side now. Car insurance. Dress sizes. Ex husbands. I can actually feel my stomach knotting up as I try to find a comfortable pillow. Excedrin PM or Benedryl...which one will knock me out fastest? The clock only says 1am. There is no way I can fall asleep on my own that early. I could turn back on the television and get lost in the episode of Frosty the Snowman I have Tivoed. No. I need to learn to go to sleep on my own. I put my head back down and try to remember a time when I could turn off the lights and go to sleep like a normal person without feeling like I am going to burst into tears, clutch my stomach and explode. I know there was a time when I could lay down and not worry about every single detail of my life. Is there a way I could just focus on ONE part of my life without everything jumping in line screaming "WHAT ABOUT ME? Remember ME?" Was I really good at drowning those things out or did I not have that before? When did all of this start? Realizing that trying to analyze why I have anxiety isn't going to make it better I decide to get up and check the locks on the house. OCD? no. maybe a little. When did I start doing this? I check to make sure the boy is covered and the back door is locked. The locks on the door seems a bit harder to turn. I need to get that checked. I also need to call the people about the carpet. I really need to have it cleaned again. dumb dogs. During a task to try to get my mind off not being able to sleep, I pile more on. I know. I'll go to bed and swear to only think about really good things. This week the kids are off of school and Shaun took his vacation time. I need to clean the bedroom. I just tripped over something that may or may night be alive at the foot of my bed. This week we are going to do neat things like some home repair and I promised to take the kids rollerskating. How did I get swindled into doing that again? Oh yeah, dumb ex asked me if I would. Oh yeah. I need to tell him to come over and drop off the check he keeps forgetting to drop off. I would rather I didn't have to do that. He always makes me listen to his financial whoas when I do. STOP. I swore to only think of the good stuff. Skiing. Tyler and Shaun have never been skiing so I am taking them skiing. Tomorrow is Wednesday right? Shit. We have to go on Wednesday or Thursday because Friday they go to their mom's house. I need to call and check road conditions. This is going to be a pain in the ass. Who's going to watch the little ones while we go? I roll over again, hoping to locate the pillow that will somehow cause me to fall asleep when I see the answering machine messages. 18. The dog ate the phone lines and now I have no house phone. There are static messages on the machine from parents saying they may or may not be able to make it to Alyx's birthday party at the roller rink next week. The same party I HAVE NOT BOOKED YET. GOOD THINGS. I lay back down and think about Christmas with my sister. I love her so much. At any point my parents could die. I'm up now. There is NO way to go back to sleep after that. I go and crack the bedroom door and climb back into bed. Sometimes getting up out of the bed will shake bad thoughts. Sometimes I will stare at the door crack and listen for things. It's my 'Guard Dog' motherly ways. If I just stare at the door I can make sure that nothing comes in the house, down the hallway and into my children's rooms. Sometimes I stare at it until one eye closes...then the other and I fall asleep. At least, in my head, I can rationalize that fear. Anxiety. yes. Mental illness. ?.

2005-12-27T20:26:00.000-08:00

It's New Years Eve this Friday...in like 3 days! You ready for this? You ready to start a BRAND NEW YEAR? Your mission for Friday (New Years Eve) is this: 1. Your New Years Resolution. 2. Your Favorite Picture from 2005 3. Something you'll be glad to leave behind in '05 The first one is almost a freebie. You can just get all random and odd and post a picture that has nothing to do with your resolution. You will not be seeing a pack of smokes on my blog. Quit asking me to stop. NO ONE LIKES A QUITTER! The second one is up to you. It can be a picture from something fun you did or just the best picture you think you took. Something you achieved. Something you got. Anything really...I'm being SO damn nice this week. The third one is a bit harder huh? Something you want to leave behind...Sometimes it's hard to capture this...try. I bet you can do it if you just look through the view finder and try to capture it. I made it easy or hard. Much like my sex life.

There are Nooooo Cats in America.....

2005-12-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

This year...Christmas went to the dogs. I have 6 different dogs on my Flickr site from this weekend alone. I had no idea how fun dogs were to take pictures of. Did you know that after you take their picture and show them the shot you got they don't say, "Ewww, that makes my face look fat!" In fact they look at the picture and then look at you and NEVER say anything. I didn't even hear, "That one is a little blurry, try again." Dogs are so cool. So is it wrong to say that I am glad Christmas is over? Is it wrong to want to say it because I want to go buy myself presents? I got some neat things. Of course, my favorite being the Muppets DVD. The Ex bought me a nice robe from the girls & my step son. It's really cozy and I look like Hugh Hefner. My father in law...with keeping with tradition, bought me a wooden duck. I had mentioned to my brother that I wanted a John Deere hat, I got it. Next year I am going to mention that I want a new Ford F150. I was so excited to see what you all had gotten. I made it to a few of your blogs to check out your pictures. Recovering Straight Girl got a Nikon D50! Nothing says, "I love you so much." Like a Nikon. There were a couple things I REALLLLY wanted for Christmas. I wanted a bottle of the DKNY be delicious perfume. Don't think I am a label person, because i'm not. I don't even know who DK is, but I know she lives in NY. Also know that I don't want the perfume just because the bottle is shaped like an apple...that's just a total bonus! I actually like the smell of it. I also want the speedflash for my camera. So if you find yourself in Rocklin and you see a hooker on the side of the road wearing a Hugh Hefner robe, let it be known that I am hooking myself for camera supplies...but I smell fantastic!

So...Damn...Tired....

2005-12-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

, originally uploaded by randomandodd.

Made.It.Home.

*YAWWWWWWWWWNNNNN*

Going to sleep until Thursday.

2005-12-25T10:38:00.000-08:00

I hope you all had a great Christmas! I got a wood duck, pink robe & the first season of "The Muppet Show" on DVD. Shaun got a cross dressing Santa hugging a frog-ornament (thanks Fonz), Nintendo Flashback (with the greatest game EVER...Pong!) and a Home Depot gift card. Tyler got his NintendoDS system. Marina got her cell phone. Shea got a video camera. Alyx got a video game that will keep her entertained for hours and hours. Kara got a credit card (Watch out Roseville Mall!) All in all it was probably the best Stone/Baland Christmas thus far. (We've only really had 2 official Christmasasssess though) What did you all get?

Veiw Christmas 2005 Set

Here It Is...

2005-12-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

Is that FLICKR running in the background? YES IT IS!, originally uploaded by randomandodd.

I thought it would be an 'online' story, but it made it to the black and white!

For a larger size so you're able to read it, Click HERE

Please....

2005-12-23T10:35:00.000-08:00

Every Friday morning I go to your blogs and check out your stuff. I noticed a certain name that is usually ALWAYS on my list, not there today. Renee from "Our Life Journey" lost her dad in a car accident. Please, send prayers or good vibes...both if you have them. Take a moment today to give her all the strength you can spare. Renee, know we love you, have you in our thoughts....

2005-12-23T00:37:00.000-08:00

Stuff Portrait Friday- HO HO HO!!!! OK, this episode is not a 'holiday' version. Its a straight-up baby Jesus, Santa with reindeer, stockings, and overpriced electronic goods Christmas post!! For those of you who don't celebrate Christmas, thanks for respecting our difference in traditions. And sorry for all the crowded malls, traffic jams, and sickening jewelry store ads. The three wise men realllllly should have seen this coming. My favorite wrapped present I have no idea whats in this box, but I'm loving the crinkled paper technique that would make Martha Stewart and Christopher Lowell squeal in delight (insert your own joke there). What I added to the decorations this year My favorite word: Hope. On a star, on the tree, in the living room. Perfect. The Christmas Card Collection This is so cool. Cards from all over the country. From friends, family, and fellow bloggers. We are so blessed to have such a great froup of people here. The great cards and wishes have been great!! So its been a very special Random And Odd. I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas!!

2005-12-22T09:17:00.000-08:00

We have family meetings. With 5 ~~brats~~ kids and two adults living in this house, we need to get together and ~~beat the children~~ have long, important talks about how things get ran around the house. I'm making it sound much better than it really happens. Here's how it really happens: The first step is Shaun coming home to me curled in a fetal position on the side of the bed. "Hard day honey?" He leans down and rubs my head. After the shaking and sobbing stops, "yes. i hate children." He smiles at me, "I know you do honey. Wanna talk about it?" I then slam my head into the side of the bed a few times until my noggin is resting on the carpet. "The kids...they yell at each other all the time" Then I go into my Marina/Kara/Shea/Alyx impression of them. "and...Tyler, he doesn't listen...he WON'T WALK THE DOG UNLESS I DEMAND HIM TO! and oh...god...the...class party is tomorrow..." "I'll help. Kristine, why are you on the floor?" "DAMN DOG PEED ON THE FLOOR AGAIN!" Then after I finally calm down and the insane eye blinking and twitching stops, we go talk to the kids. Shaun, he's so rational and calm. He gives examples, stories and adds little jokes. I think if he knew how to give a Power Point presentation on 'family harmony' during our meetings, he would. I on the other hand sit on the couch next to him and yell things like, "Yeah! what he just said!" and "If you do THAT again, I will ground you!" After the meeting the kids all go about their way, happy, laughing and joyful. I personally think we should end each meeting with a shot of capscum to the eyes or at least a little bit of electrocution to drive our point home...."NO MORE YELLING! NO MORE FIGHTING! GET THE FUCK ALONG OR MOMMY IS GOING TO SNAP!" but we don't. We just let them get along for 5 minutes until it starts up again. Last week we had to have a meeting because everyone is being really rude to each other and Shaun is tired, really tired of the kids yelling from one end of the house to another. "KAAAARRRRRAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Marina yells from the bedroom. Kara ignores her, because Kara is a bitch like that. "KAAARRRRRAAAAAA!!!!!" She yells again. Kara ignores her again. "KARA!" I yell from the other bedroom, "ANSWER HER!" "WHAT DO YOU WANT MARINA!?!" As you can see, it gets annoying and Shaun said, "No more yelling...I can't stand the yelling in this house. If you want to say something, say it...there is no reason to yell it..." and it was at THAT MOMENT that I heard the sound of SANTA CLAUS ON THE FIRE TRUCK....IN. OUR. COURT! I was 5 again. "SANTA IS HERE! SANTA IS HERE!!!!" I screamed it and Shaun said I pushed Shea out of the way as I ran for the front door. "SANTA!! HE'S HERE!!" Do you know how hard it is to try to look stern while we were finishing our family talk with a candy cane sticking out of my mouth, knowing I had broke every new family rule we had just made?

2005-12-20T15:18:00.000-08:00

I have done one of the meanest things a parent can do to a child, outside of running over their cat. Which I may or may not have done during my college days. I numbered the Christmas gifts. Yes. I know. MEAN HUH? (this is where you hear me laughing like an evil loon) The girls came home from their dads and there is a pile of gifts under the tree. "YAY, GIFTS!!" They run towards the tree and pick up the multi colored boxes. "Mom? Who's #4?" "You'll find out on Christmas....unless...you can figure it out on your own. Oh the whining...Complaining...and then the "I'll figure it out first!" threats. Everyday after school, Alyx has been setting aside a little time to figuring it out. She asks me very simple questions in hopes of finding out what the answer is. Today, after what sounded like a simple question, her eyes brightened and she rushed into the house. She had been asking one or two questions a day. Well, all those questions added up to the answer she was waiting for. "Mommy, if I get the answer right and show you how I got it, will you tell me if I'm right?" I made her promise that if she did get it she wouldn't tell the other kids how she got the answer. She promised. Then she brought me the right answer. I told her that if anyone else figured it out because of her notes that I would take her presents away. She took a pair of scissors and cut up the paper in a million pieces. At this moment she is sitting in the living room laughing like a evil loon.

SPF: HO HO HO

2005-12-20T11:41:00.000-08:00

Any reason to write Ho 3 times. Last week I wanted to be able to accommodate everyone...this week, it's for those of us that wear bells, roast our nuts and yell ho, ho, ho at random people. (yes, I realize I have just described Bucky every month of the year) December 23

Your favorite wrapped present
Something new you added to your decorations this year
Your Christmas cards

I put a lot of work into wrapping all the presents this year. All of them. BY.MY.SELF. I can't wait to showcase the wrapping job I did this year. I also added a few things to the decor. Ohhh ho ho ho the cards I got this year. I even have a couple favorites. ;) I'm sure you were all thinking I was going to ask to see your tree huh? Yeah, well...if you want to throw your tree into the picture, by all means...go for it. It's almost Christmas and I'm feeling a bit high on the egg nog...or it might be the spray on cheese.

We are being interviewed...

2005-12-19T11:47:00.000-08:00

'Cita and I are being interviewed today for the work that we have been doing on the Christie Wilson case. It's flattering, yet it brings so many things into focus. SOMEONE out of my control is going to be able to take pictures of ME. I offered to just take the shots myself. Not wanting unfavorable pictures of us in mass publication, I was ready to crop, soften and remove any gnarly shots of us and only mail in the good ones, but they insisted they have a real photographer come out and take the shots. My mother, sister and I have this agreement: no one posts pictures of each other without first getting permission from the other first. There is a reason for this, my mother is a cruel-ass-bitch. This is a good thing to have, an agreement. I broke it recently when I posted the picture of my sister with the 'underwear' on her head. She retaliated by posting EVERY horrible picture of me she has...well, except that one picture...that's her ace in the hole. This agreement has let me have restful sleep at night. I know that I won't wake up to bad pictures plastered on the internet...that I didn't put up there. Who knows what kind of shots this 'photographer' is going to get. He's going to take a picture of me and the non-existing chin. Did you know that? My face is going slide off because I have no chin. It's there from a front view and then the side profile...NO CHIN, it slides into my neckline. Don't get me started on the shots he's going to get of me smiling. I hate the fake smiles. Some people have the greatest fake smiles...I'm not one of them. I look like the brother on "My Name is Earl". Racoon eyes. He's going to get a shot where my eyes look like they are sinking into the back of my head. Am I really this vain? I am, huh? Why do I care? really? I mean...you guys saw me with cursed hair. I think it might have been the 'We need to send a 'real' photographer.' comment. I swear if this REAL photographer shows up with a Nikon D70 I will beat him to death with my camera bag all the while yelling, "I COULD HAVE DONE THIS MYSELF AND SAVED MYSELF TEN XANAX!"

2005-12-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

I did something this weekend that I have been putting off. I sat down and began my wedding planning. Making reservations for dinner isn't something I do a lot of anymore. I usually just yell the order at the menu board and hope the kids don't spill the french fries all over the van floor. While the kids were gone for the weekend we decided it was time to have our engagement dinner and actually pin some things down. It's important to have a place and a time. right? After a nice steak dinner we had come up with nothing. No date, place, colors...nothing. It's official, We suck at wedding planning. We have decided that it MUST be done and we can't afford a wedding planner so we are going to have you all help us pick everything out. How do you all feel about picking out things from dresses, party favors & colors?

2005-12-17T19:29:00.000-08:00

Click the pic to see how you've all help make Aly's frog picture one of the most watched items on Ebay!!!!

2005-12-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

Dec 16th - For Everyone...

Something RED

can you see me in the reflection??

Something GREEN

Christmas Card from a couple of Random and Odd readers :)

Something you decorate

The Aloe Plant on my coffee table. It's not easy making an aloe plant look festive. Did you play???

Better late than never...right?

2005-12-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

This week...seeing that we are nearing the 'holiday' season. I found out that some of my readers don't do Christmas. When I was little and I was told that a kid didn't celebrate Christmas...I cried for them. I tried one year to give Louisa Newcomb a present because I didn't want her to not have anything to open on Christmas morning and she wouldn't except it. I tried to convince her that she could hide it and her parents wouldn't have to know. She explained to me that she just didn't believe in Christmas and that to open that present on that day wouldn't mean anything to her. I cried for her and never understood why her parents could be so mean as to take Santa away! I now understand...but I still want to give presents to those who don't celebrate. I'm not sure if I am just a moron or I was shaken too much as a child. This week...so everyone will play: Something RED Something GREEN Something that you decorate. Next week, I'm going all Holiday...so don't give us TOO much!!

A Random and Odd Update:

2005-12-12T18:28:00.000-08:00

(CBS 13) AUBURN - After several days of preliminary hearings an Auburn Judge has decided that Mario Garcia should stand trial for the murder of Christie Wilson. 'Cita and I went to court this afternoon for the cross examination and closing arguments. It was frustrating and heartbreaking. The judge went over all the evidence and ruled to take it to trial. I hadn't realized that everyone on the right side of the court room was holding their breath until he gave his ruling. It was at that moment that we all let out a sigh of relief and began breathing again. I know it sounds weird for everyone to hear that we are searching for a missing woman. In the last month, it's gone from a missing woman to a 'dead body'. I'm sure it sounds even more strange that we are going to the court to 'hear' the evidence in the trial. To explain to someone that we are just trying to find out more in hopes of being able to point us in a direction to search just isn't enough. The first time we went into court we watched hours of testimony on hair DNA. We also met Christie's family, and to speak for both 'Cita and I, we were blown away by their strength and friendliness. In a rough time they were thoughtful and polite to everyone they came in contact with. Christie's step-father, Pat has a calming effect on everyone. He can reassure you with just a look or a smile. Her mother...what an amazing woman. In my family we call my sister 'The Rock' because that is what she is to us. My mom is the glue. I'm guessing that Christie's mom is both. I handed her a candle & holder that 'Cita and I picked out for her...it said "hope" on the holder and she looked at it and I know she understood what we were trying to say. She hugged us...it was one of those REAL hugs. After she was interviewed in front of the courthouse she came over and told us to have a great holiday season...and to let us know that she has lots of Hope. She hugged us and thanked us again. In fact, all of her family came over and said hello and offered up hugs. I understand how this looks 'weird'. Two house-wives out looking for a 'dead body' and spending our time in court. What I don't understand is how people can tease, mock or poke fun at us for doing it. We aren't asking that they get in our car and help us look. We aren't asking for them to come to court with us. We have never asked anything from them. 'Cita's husband told her, "Just remember that they can say whatever they want. They can crack all the jokes they want. They will never know how good you feel when Christie's mom thanks you and smiles when she is updated on the places you have been and where you're going next. It doesn't even matter when you think about the hope you bring that family." Hope. It's not even measurable.

Ribbit...

2005-12-11T22:48:00.000-08:00

Where the hell did this weekend go? Who took the weekend like a wet rag and RUNG IT OUT? The Ebay craze in our house is over the top. Alyx, our budding artist, has decided that she's going to put up her picture of the Blog Frog she drew when he was here. When you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she says, "An Artist." When Shaun moved in and brought all his paint brushes and paints it just fed her dream. Being the supportive mother I am, i'm going to promote the hell out of that picture for her . If you have Ebay, go check out the listing. Bid you want, but PLEASE at least put it on your 'watching' list so when Shaun shows her how many people are 'watching' her picture she will get excited. For my readers if you are the winning bidder (at ANY price) I will include a pair of Monkey Toe Socks. If you win, just send me an email. *note to Jessica Rabbit - your cursed monkey is on the way. I will not be held responsible for the fucked up hair days and reduced breast size that might occur after the monkey arrives. When Kara decided she wanted to be a singer, I bought her a karaoke unit. The sound of her trying to hit certain notes caused some hearing loss, but I'll live. I guess I should be grateful that Alyx wants to be a artist and not a brain surgeon. Wait.....maybe I need to re-think this.

Alyx's BlogFrog picture.

"ooooooh, look at the lights!!"

2005-12-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

I moved to Rocklin almost ten years ago. Has it been that long? Yeah, I guess it has. When I first moved here I was told I had to go to the 'Disney Houses' behind The Bel-Air. This whole street over decorated their houses with lights, fog machines and each house had different Disney characters. Some people transformed their garage into a full on Santa Claus Workshops. It was breathtaking! Over the years, more houses have joined the ranks and the one street has turned into many. The "Disney Houses" are now known as the "Street of Lights". It's no longer a 'Rocklin' thing and a whole Sacramento thing. I uploaded a bunch of the pictures to my Flickr site if you want to walk through it virtually.

2005-12-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

I was checking your blogs for SPF and I went to Susies and found a link to Amy's family blog. Since my internet was down I didn't get to make the normal rounds and I missed so many posts. I ALMOST MISSED THIS ONE: Amy from Anyone's Guess comedy skit. Shaun came in the bedroom and said, "Honey, what are you laughing at? I can hear you all the way in the living room!?" I've seen some pretty funny stuff on the internet, but this one takes the fruitcake! If you miss it, you're going to be sorry! I laughed the whole 11 minutes and I think I might have wet myself during the 12 days of Stressmas.

SPF

2005-12-08T23:01:00.000-08:00

OK, Stuff Portrait Friday was delayed due to technical difficulties. SPF Headquarters has been exposed to internet access problems. The issues have been resolved, so back to your regularly scheduled programming (because of the delay, the Golden Girls marathon will not be seen). Happy To Be Stuck With You No, this weeks theme has nothing to do with bad 80's songs. Here's the tatoo picture, since I don't have a tattoo it turned into a photoshop project. Here's the bumper sticker picture also.....again, no bumper stickers on the van, Morrison, so Shaun spent more time creating these ones than it would have taken to physically build a bumper. Sorry if you were left off the bumper, Shaun had to make it up as he went along. Here's what I change. Most people treat these things as a permanent purchase. I look at them as upgrades. In a milliom years, when exploreres dig up my house, they'll have an evolutionary chart of digital photography. In the past eight years, I've purchased nine different digital cameras....including two in the past year alone. Between lens covers, batteries, memory cards, USB cords, you'd think that Circuit city exploded in this house. With BAMF Nikon D70 in the fold, I don't forsee any changes anytime soon. Except for a new back-up for him, of course.

2005-12-08T11:17:00.000-08:00

There are certain things I shouldn't be allowed to have. 1. Coffee after 5 pm (even though it tastes better at night) 2. A permit to carry a gun. (only one Seguin female should have that right) 3. Anything sharp 4. A credit card and most importantly, 5. a cell phone that fits into my back pocket. If the reports are true about brain tumors from cell phones, I should have one the size of a cantalope. I have been a cell phone user all the way back to the bag phone days...the years after that when they looked like giant gray bricks...when they slimmed down...when they got smaller...when you could change the face of them...when you could flip them open...I was a test market of people that tested 'voice dialing'....I have met and had dinner with the founder of Cellular One (then became AT&T Wireless and now Suckular..er, Cingular) Craig McCaw. I am a proud cell phone user. I have had my share of cellular phones. I have DROPPED every single phone I have owned...but today I crossed a line. We have three cellular phones in our home. Shauns, mine, and the 'kids'. To say I lose my phone often is an understatement. I can lose my phone for weeks and not miss it too much because I just use the kid's phone. My phone right now is MIA. I have looked in all the places I put my phone; Camera Bag, Coat Pocket, back pocket, floor of the minivan, friends houses, under the bed....nothing. It's all good though...I can just use the kids. IF I HAD NOT LEFT IT IN MY BACK POCKET AND WASHED IT! Who's bright idea was it to allow cell phones to be so small that you can put them IN YOUR POCKET? Don't you remember the good ol' days when you had to have a leather bag designed to fit the phone? REMEMBER when you had to keep your phone IN THE CAR. CAR PHONE? You know the sounds that scare you out of your mind? The sound of wheels screetching behind you. The sound of your child when he or she has fallen. The sound of your in-laws saying they are staying for a week. I'm going to add the sound of my cell phone bouncing around in the dryer to that list. Guess what I am asking Santa for Christmas? A BAG PHONE!

2005-12-07T12:33:00.000-08:00

I have updated the SPF list for this Friday. It's "Happy To Be Stuck With You"

Dec 9th - Happy To Be Stuck With You

your tattoo or birthmark

your bumper sticker

something you keep changing

Tattoo or birthmark will be hard for me, but I decided I am going to have Shaun just draw one on me. Any suggestions? I also don't have bumper stickers, but I do have one I am thinking about putting on the van. Maybe. Changing things is the common around this place so I can't wait to find something I change alot. No, you will not be seeing my underwear! OH GOD, it's NOT because I don't change them a lot though. I'll just shut up now. I just want to forewarn you all: Every picture of me from this day forward I will be wearing my new, green, JOHN DEERE SWEATSHIRT! My future brother in law O'Ryan finally caved into my whimpering, whining and threats. He brought it over last night and I haven't taken it off since. I slept in it. I will only take it off to shower then it's going back on. For the record...O'Ryan is one of the coolest future brother in laws EVER. The internet loves him because he's cute, but I love him because he's funny. Shaun did a picture of him as an elf and one of him as a pimp and instead of being offended, he thought it was funny. He's cool in my book....and he gave me his John Deere sweatshirt. Would it be tacky to wear it to their wedding?

2005-12-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

It could have been worse...this whole 'taking pictures for the Christmas card' thing that people do. Last year I read horror stories about parents trying to get pictures for their Christmas Cards. I decided I wasn't going to do all that stressing. I grabbed a snapshot at a restaurant and used that one. It was good enough. This year, I decided to pull out the tripod and see what we could pull off. Holy shit it's hard to get 5 kids and 2 dogs to sit still and all smile at the same time. You ask, 'how hard could it be?'. Cheesy smiles. No smiles. Closed eyes. No lips. Falling off the chair. Halo trying to eat Mooshu. Looking away. Phone ringing. Stoned eyes. Freaky eyes. Bad lighting. No lighting. The fire making the children burst into flames. 171 pictures later we got this one that we liked. I sweat shopped the kids out last night and made them help fill out the envelopes. If you happen to get a Christmas card that has hearts dotting the 'i''s you got a 'Kara' card. If you got a card where the S's look like they fell down, you got a 'Marina' card. If you got a card where the writing slips off the envelope, you got an 'Alyx' card. Feliz Navidad.

Going on Two Months

2005-12-05T22:35:00.000-08:00

Guess where I went today? Following the leads we found in the paper we headed out to a small town called Dutch Flats. It was a 'don't blink or you'll miss it' type of town. It was one of the friendliest towns i've ever been too. It's also one of the scariest. No Starbucks for MILES AND MILES. *shivering* The first step in our plan of action is scoping out the place. After we get home we go over all the pictures taken from the car and all the places we jotted down as 'potential' place to check. We have promised our loved ones (and the internet) that we won't go anywhere too freaky, without letting anyone know where we are, full tank of gas, cell phone reception...and so on. The next time out we know where we are going to look...and we bring Shaun. I couldn't resist this old cemetery in the middle of town. The road went up this long, winding hill that was covered in pine needles. It looked as if no one had ever driven the road. The markers went back to the early 1800's and some of the headstones were made of wood. As we were leaving the cemetery we saw a man walking down the road. He waved and walked on. 'Cita and I were like little girls trying to scramble in the car first. When I got home and showed Shaun the pictures his eyebrows crawled into his hairline. "Kristine! WILL YOU PLEASE WAIT FOR ME? I have every Friday off, I will go with you to look for Christie." I tried to reassure him that it wasn't as bad as it looked from the pictures. "You said you heard dogs howling at the cemetery and walking down the road was the old man from 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' Yeah, it's not that bad huh?" Okay, he has a point.

It's a -- Family Tradition...

2005-12-04T18:03:00.000-08:00

Shea, The Baby of the Family This is our second Christmas as a 'family'. This is our second trip searching for the perfect tree, our second attempt at decorating the house & our second year following traditions we have made the following year. On Saturday morning we were all gathered on my bed talking when Shea slipped into a British accent. She can't pronounce her 'r's very well so she always sounds like she's from Boston, but a British child who can't pronounce her 'r's sounds completely normal. Shaun said, "Shea, I will give you $5.00 if you can keep that accent ALL DAY." I was already laughing because I knew she would be able to do it, "Shea, you have to call Shaun Pop-pop and you have to call me 'Mummy', can you remember that?" She tilted her head and said in a flawless British accent, "Of course, Mummy. Can I go outside for a spell and play?" I.LOST.IT. Tears were streaming down my face as I told her she would have to ask Shaun. "Pop-Pop?" I think I might have peed the bed at this point. All day she kept the accent. She even kept it while she was getting pissed that we wouldn't give her the money. "Pop-Pop? You do have me money right?" British accent intact the whole time. After dinner we gave her the five dollars and she dropped the accent. It was amazing to hear the difference in her voice and I started to miss the well behaved British girl that had graced our house all day. We took our Christmas pictures, got our tree and headed home. I realized we have one of the weirdest Christmas time traditions; on the way home, tree on top of the van...we sing. We all sing together as a family. Not "Let it Snow" or "Jingle Bells". We sing Bohemian Rhapsody...with harmony & flare! Piling out of the car I heard Marina say, "I love this family." Yeah. me too.

2005-12-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

The Victim/s: US! The women of this house have been cursed with BAD hair this week! I think it might have something to do with our cursed monkey. Look at me! What is wrong with me?? Poor Shea has just been a complete ball of bad hair frustration. She wouldn't allow me to take a picture of her hair. She just attacked! and if that isn't enough...Tyler has grown ANTLERS! The Weapon: This Damn Cursed Monkey! The Crime Scene: The Children's Room. No matter what they do...since the monkey moved in...it CAN NOT BE CLEANED! Not only has he destroyed our hair & home. He has destroyed my ability to spell and put a sentence together that doesn't run or have an overflow of commas! HE MUST BE STOPPED! Please help us by removing the monkey from our home. I NEED YOUR HELP TO BEATING THE MONKEY! I hope your CSI: Stuffed Portrait Friday isn't as tragic as ours. You can help though...Click Here. Did you play?

To cry or sob with soft intermittent sounds

2005-12-01T09:38:00.000-08:00

The overwhelming support of Halo the ~~dumb~~ adorable dog was staggering. For the record; watermelon flavored dum-dums are the best. Today I was on the computer in the kitchen watching some stuff on Ebay when I noticed that my 'bookmark' tab that runs along the top of the web browser said: WOM, which stands for Wave of Modulation. I made her website a tab that I would go to often because I didn't want to miss any new pictures she posted. I had 2 hours before the item I am watching is up so I decided to check some blogs. I have 2 types of crying. I have the type of crying that involves nothing but tears. The other type of crying involves crying and yelling. I don't have anything in between. Today I found a new type of crying. I read WOM's post today and at the end of it, with tears pouring down my face, I whimpered. Never before have I heard this type of pained crying. My heart broke inside my chest and the only way to relieve the pain of it was to sob. Halo, Satan's Dog, heard me and came over and put her head on my leg. She began licking my hands. She was worried about me. I told her that I was okay and I got up from the computer to go get some tissue. She followed me to the bathroom. I decided that I needed to wash something to try to stop the crying and she followed me into the laundry room. Even though she knows better than to come in the bedroom, she followed me in and kept licking my hands. Maybe that dog isn't so bad after all.

The dog is channeling Telly Savalas

2005-11-30T12:57:00.000-08:00

The dog brings me only a little bit of happiness. Dressing the dog up with weird headbands, watching her slide across the kitchen floor and hitting the island and watching her perk her ears when Shaun makes high pitched sounds is the ONLY joy the dog brings me. She chews on EVERYTHING. If you're walking, she's trying to herd you to the direction she wants you to go in. She has scratched the hell out of the back door and sliding glass screen. She goes into rooms she's not allowed in and she bolts out the front door and takes off. This dog is the biggest pain the arse. I decided that today I was going to leave her alone in the kitchen for 15 minutes to see if she can stay out of trouble. When I walked in to check on her I was surprised to see she was being an angel. Laying on the floor with her head resting on her front paws...and a sucker stick poking out of the front of her mouth. Instead of yelling at her like I have done a million times when I find her with a sucker in her mouth, I grabbed the camera. She followed me into the bedroom and sat on the floor and ate her sucker while I took pictures. I know I am sending her the wrong signals by allowing her to eat the sucker when in the past I tell her no and taken it away. I don't care anymore though. This dog has a stash of Dum-Dum suckers hidden SOMEWHERE in this house. I haven't been able to figure out where she hides them. That's pretty damn impressive for a dog. If my daughter is reading this, let it be known that if you decide to hide drugs, smokes, or a boy somewhere in this house and just because I don't find it doesn't mean I will allow you to do them! In fact...if I walk into the kitchen and see you chewing* on any of them, I will take a picture of you and post it on the internet for all the world to see. *the word 'chewing' has replaced the word 'sucking' because the thought of that makes me want to hurl.

2005-11-29T09:27:00.000-08:00

Looking for a missing person is depressing. Especially if you know the missing person isn't alive anymore. 'Cita and I went out again. It was raining and the only thing we had to go on was something Christie's step father had mentioned. He said that a physic had called from back East and said, "She's under a bridge." We looked under about 8 bridges yesterday. I didn't realize how dirty the world is until you've walked along the roadside. How people can just stop the car and toss out a kitchen bag full of garbage is beyond me! I mean, when I forget to pay the garbage bill, I at least take the 13 bags of garbage out behind Albertsons shopping center and use their big ol' dumpster. I use to have nightmares that the cops would pull up in front of the house and arrest me for dumping my garbage in a dumpster. I'm a modern day Arlo Gutherie. (many of you won't get that, it's okay....it's random) Strangely, since I started searching for Christie, my anxiety has gone away. I only have bursts of them that last less than a minute. This is HUGE for me. Most of the anxiety attacks last for about 10 minutes...which is exactly how long it takes to convince yourself that you're going to stop breathing and pass out. The flipside is that I am getting ticked off super fast. The last time I had this much bottled up anger is when I was going through postpartum depression. I had my family on pins and needles for months while I tried to figure out how to control all the rage I had inside of me. I actually thought of where to bury my husband in the backyard when he made the STUPID mistake of getting me a MOTHER'S RING....ON MOTHER'S DAY! What the hell was HE thinking? I feel bad about that one. He was trying to do something nice for me and because he didn't get the clue (the big 8 x 11 tear out of the ring I wanted on the fridge for 2 months) I decided that he needed some physical violence and daggers thrown from my eyeballs. Someone remind me to call him and tell him I'm sorry for that one. Now the little things are ticking me off. STUFF is pissing me off. STUFF that the kids are leaving around the house, losing, borrowing and not putting away. The sound of the 15 year old chewing his food. NEVER in history of man, even going back to the caveman days, has anybody been a louder eater. SMACKING as he chews his food. I can hear the food as it is suctioned between his teeth. How he has made it to 15 without someone, other than me, telling him to shut his mouth while eating just staggers the imagination. He too will be buried in the backyard if he doesn't learn how to eat like humans. So in light of my 'kill the people who live with me' mood I am in...This week Stuff Portrait Friday is going to be a little bit on the weird side. SPF: December 2, 2005 - CSI 1. Your Weapons 2. Your Victim 3. Your Crime Scene Now I know many of you will be mad about this week. "She's sposta set certain things! A DISHTOWEL, A COUCH, MY CAR! She can't make us 'think' of what to take pictures of!" Yes, I am making you think. Let me just give you a few examples of things I might take pictures of for this week. If...and this isn't too big of a stretch...IF I were to commit a crime, I would totally use something that makes sense to me. Like say...AN XBOX to the side of the head. Maybe a PLATE OF FOOD. PERHAPS THE DOG'S LEASH...because GOD KNOWS the boy isn't using it to walk the dog! *deep breath* I'm trying to decide if I want the anxiety attacks or the pent up anger. Which one would you choose?

2005-11-27T10:50:00.000-08:00

I am the happiest person alive. Why? Why do you ask? Is it because I have a Gingerbread Latte with a huge Sunday paper filled with ads? Is it because I have the bestest ~~boyfri~~ fiancee in the world? Is it because I just ordered the remote for the Nikon? Is it because ... Oh hell, let me just tell you! I have a computer IN MY ROOM! The ex finally did that thing he does to the computer to make it better and so I had TWO computers. Many of you will be thinking, "Didn't she go to college for that type of stuff?" YES I DID. And about the first year in I decided I hated the teachers for taking away the mystery of the computer. You know what? The computer IS NOT MAGIC. To fix it, you can't use pixy dust. My college degree has taken away a piece of my imaginative youth and for that, I will not repair computers any more. I couldn't help standing over the ex and asking a million questions while he hooked up my WIRELESS ROUTER and as he set up the security for it. That was the one thing I did enjoy in college. I loved learning about networking security and how to breach it. I wanted to be certain that no one was getting into my virtual underwear drawer of information. God forbid someone crawls into my computer and sees what I am doing. Then I thought about it for a minute. You guys already know all my secrets...Thanks to Stuff Portrait Fridays.

2005-11-26T11:06:00.000-08:00

With the holidays here, we have had to put a halt to searching for Christie Wilson. Now i'm ready to get back out and start looking again. Before 'Cita and I head out to our next location we usually stop and get a coffee. A few hours into the hunt and we are starving to death and about 15 miles from nowhere on backroads. Being the experts on how NOT to search for missing people we have decided to replan our strategy. It started with getting a REAL map. We bought 3 in hopes that one of them will have the area we are looking for. None of them have the roads we travel though. We also realized that we couldn't tell you which direction we were going if the sun were setting and there was moss on every single tree. We have actually thought of getting a GPS system, but the compass was SO much cheaper. We also found that all that walking was causing this strange sensation in our legs and arms. Pain. We added water and aspirin to the list. 'Cita decided it was time to get some gloves for searching. There is only so many times that you want to hear the other one yell, "Don't Touch!" and after the stuff we found last time, I WANT to be wearing gloves! She stopped at the candy section on the way out of the store and grabbed some Red Vines for snacking. I'm not a big 'candy' eater, but the pack of bite sized Chick-o-Sticks looked good. We got out on the road and I see her eating a Red Vine. "Cita, can you get me one of those Chick-o-Sticks?" With a disgusted look she pulls out my bite sized candy and smells it. "Hmm." "What?" I ask. "I just don't understand why anyone would eat one of these." "They are good, you just don't like peanut butter so you wouldn't like it." "Peanut Butter? You mean it doesn't taste like Chicken?" I laughed for about 5 miles while she read the bag. "Peanut butter and Coconut? Why in the world would someone put the word 'CHICK' in there and expect us to think it WOULDN'T taste like chicken??" "Do your Red Vines taste like leaves?" "F*** You!" "Awww, you're like my Cuban Jessica Simpson."

2005-11-25T10:22:00.001-08:00

I didn't do the 'I'm Thankful' for post. I was going to everyone's blog and checking out their breasts...on the Turkeys...and I noticed that a lot of you talked about being thankful for things. I had not even thought about that. I'm Thankful for all the normal things; kids, house, job, indoor plumbing, hi def tv and Tivo in the bedroom. I'm also thankful for this outlet. I am thankful for all the people that have come in to my life because of it. I am thankful for the changes I have made in my life because of you guys. In so many of you I have found what I want to be. I want to be like Cat and just be that cool. I want to be like Susie who I'm POSITIVE is the most level headed person alive. I want to be like Pissy and tell it like it is. I want to have Erns passion for something. I want to be the eyes of Wave of Modulation. I want to be able to write like Nilbo & Bucky & William. I want to play the pink guitar like Metro does! I want boobs like Jessica Rabbit and I want to sleep with women like RSG. *shaking head* I really get a bit carried away, don't I? I have found through reading ALL your blogs that you guys know how to handle situations without freaking out. You juggle your responsibilities and still have time to sit down and write for us. Some of you open all the way up and show me a side of yourself that I thought I only had. You all relate with each other on some level. You rarely judge. You pray and send packages of banana chocolate chip bread to make sure there is no chance in hell I will ever fit into a wedding dress...but baked it with so much love...and chocolate. I am thankful for all of my readers and their readers. I am thankful that every Friday we get new people to go visit. I'm thankful for Kami who always has a nice comment on people's blogs...and it's usually always FIRST. I am also thankful that you're all going to be sending me Christmas cards with Starbucks gift cards inside.

2005-11-24T17:44:00.000-08:00

Rubba Dub Dub - Thanks for the Grub....Yay God. This was my first ever Thanksgiving without my kids. It wasn't the same. Now it's not even 6 pm and I am tempted to sneak over to my ex's house and grab them. It was too damn quiet at Shaun's parent's house. It's too damn quiet here. I can actually hear myself typing! Something/s/one that makes Thanksgiving. Family. This is O'Ryan and his brother, Bannon. It was neat to watch the two of them together. Your Dinner The Aftermath Bonus points: Tacky Centerpiece Personally I thought the singing turkey guy was pretty cute. No one else liked him though. Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. Did you play?

Random And Odd

We Broke Up...

Guess What?

spf

icky

Assignment for Feb 17th 2006

My Girly Girls

dot com

Comment Section Wish List...

Ha-Cha-Cha!

Comment Section Wish List...

But is it fast enough so we can fly away

Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?"

Post It Note:

Here Comes The Flower Girl.....

My Big Fat Geek Wedding...

Friday Jan. 27th - Shake it off...

i got a new toy I want to share!!

When you're weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all.

#7

if you ever wondered why I am marrying him....

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I'm okay, you're okay...wait, i've used that title before.

Have you ever...

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

take a couple of minutes today....

"give it to me baby...uh-huh"

I can only imagine

And the days go by like a strand in the wind in the web that is my own

Well, we big rock singers, we got golden fingers, and we're loved everywhere we go.

The West coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tanned

the bell hop's tears keep flowin' and the desk clerk's dressed in black

i take one one one cause you left me

Stuff Portrait Friday - Before & After...

I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold...

*slurring*

a short year in review...

Lights out...

There are Nooooo Cats in America.....

So...Damn...Tired....

Here It Is...

Please....

SPF: HO HO HO

We are being interviewed...

Better late than never...right?

A Random and Odd Update:

Ribbit...

"ooooooh, look at the lights!!"

SPF

Going on Two Months

It's a -- Family Tradition...

To cry or sob with soft intermittent sounds

The dog is channeling Telly Savalas

slurring