2011

17
Jan
The longest weekend in history!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


5 of the 15, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
It feels like my weekend started on Thursday when my brothers and sister came to visit.
On Friday they left and Alyx and her birthday party showed up at 3pm. She wanted a Toy Story theme, and who am I to deny a 14 year old? When they

staggered out of the house on Saturday morning, we got the house in order for my friends Matt and Leslie to come visit.

I don’t feel like I have really slept in days.

My ankle is finally getting better and I am going to get back into the gym tonight. I’m going to start going every night until the muscle memory comes back.
On Saturday night I got my ass kicked at Wii bowling and again on Sunday I was sore. It just doesn’t seem right that I am sore after playing video games.

The dates have been finalized for this years activities.
April 29th; Kathy, Judy and Mom go skydiving for the first time.
March 25: My birthday party in…Vegas? Reno? Alaska (no), Tahoe? Who knows.
May 27: Sacramento Jazz Festival & Jubilee.
June: KARA GRADUATES!!!
August 13: Climb Mt. Lassen
November 24th: Turkey Trot in Redding with Kathy and Judy.

It’s not much, but it’s what we have planned for the year. We are more than likely going to add more, but this is the rock solid stuff that is going to happen or

we are going to die trying.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, say what needs to be said…but i’m still planning ahead and keeping SOME stuff to myself ;)

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14
Jan
First 13th of 2011
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Jan 13th 2011, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
This year I decided that on the 13th of every month I am going to do something fun and for me.
This month I wasn’t prepared for it, but it turned out to be a great evening.

Under not so good circumstances I ended up having my brothers and sister at my house for the night. We went to dinner and met my bestest of all the bestest

friends I have ever had and her oh so funny boyfriend at the Tree. Our friend showed up and we all had a couple of drinks and watched the people sing

horribly.

I am liking how happy I am looking lately. I noticed it the last set of pictures, of course, Randy was in those pictures too. I’m starting to wonder if he is just

making me look good. Most likely the case.
Yesterday started out to be one of those emotionally draining days where it would have been easy to bury myself under the covers, but it wasn’t an option. My

ankle is killing me and the ice and brace isn’t working. I’m getting kind of bitter about it too. I hate being down and unable to go run or hike.
Regardless of feeling down and emotional yesterday I had a great night with lots of conversations, plans made and laughter.

Everyday I learn something new. Yesterday was no exception.

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13
Jan
I’m a fan…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I have posted his work here before, but as he gets better with either new equipment or just being so amazing…i’ll post more:

Lodi Dropzone Bordem by Bill V

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11
Jan
Fancy Bow…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


They felt sorry for my half frozen bag of baby lima beans I was using, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Okay, Okay, Okay. I get it. I need to heal it before I can push it any further.

Last night at the gym I could feel that I shouldn’t be running. I switched up the incline and just walked. The new hiking shoes proved to definitely need some

breaking in. After a mile I decided to be smart and just do some circuit training and let my ankle fully heal.
Sitting down on the mat, my new shoes gripped the surface and didn’t slide when I came down. My ankle twisted in a way an ankle shouldn’t be twisted. If I

knew I wouldn’t have gotten kicked out I would have yelled what I was thinking in my head at that moment.

I could see my friend Mark’s face as he said, “I told you so.”
Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.
On the phone call later that night to him I said, “Hi, guess what? You were right.” Total deadpan he replies. “Good thing I was sitting.”

Driving into work was pleasant. I can walk on it, I just can’t give it any sudden jarring or twisting in a stupid way…the car in front of me slammed on his

brakes and I nearly burst into tears as I had to follow lead.
My half frozen bag of baby lima beans on my ankle looked truly pathetic so my co-worker brought me his ice pack with a foot wrap. I’m sure there is another

way to have done it, but I hurt…and I like that fancy bow!

One week. That’s all I am giving this damn thing. Not really sure what my other options. I’ve already tried the SIUCC method, but I guess the ankle doesn’t

really give a shit when *I* am ready.
I’ve cussed, yelled and threatened it, but it won’t listen to me.
Sounds like certain people I know.

Until then, I look like ice pack fashion icon.

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09
Jan
I am his Robin
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


DSC_6564, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Jeremiah came to stay with his Auntie Awesome and his sisters this weekend. He brought his Xbox and his Lego Batman game.

There was a time when I would spend hours and hours playing this game and so when he asked me if I knew how to play, I said yes.
He was so excited!

Since 8:30 this morning we have been playing non-stop. He’s happy because he’s getting to levels that he has never been to yet.
The thing is, he’s Batman. I am Robin. This is the story of my damn life with this game. I never get to be Batman! Men (and 4 year olds) insist on being

Batman. So much so that when I told him I needed to take a break, he wouldn’t turn off his remote because he didn’t want to lose being Batman.

I’m a pretty smart person, but this kid is off the chart smart. I have been hanging out with him without the girls around for a few hours and it’s like hanging

out with a teenage boy. He’s that smart!
“Auntie, I can do all of that and get us where we need to go, but you need to follow me, watch my back and read the stuff that I don’t know how.”
That is all I am good for, just reading the bigger words on the screen.

He’s my cuddle bug too. He looked over at me and said, “Auntie, I love you so much! I’m glad I get to come here and stay with you. ” My eyes get all teary

and then he said, “What are you going to feed me for breakfast?” and I realize that he’s such a man! He worked me from the get go with that line about loving

me and then BAM with the food! He got cereal. Until he’s old enough to take out the trash, I won’t be making him scrambled eggs and bacon any time soon.

Last night Tabitha and I went to meet a friend at the local haunt. The car ride there and back was the best part for me. She was busting out Rapper’s Delight

and at a stop sign an Escalade of teenage boys pulled up and tried to get her attention, she rolled down the window and without loosing a beat, hit the chorus

and sang it like a pro! I was cracking up as they threw her the “rock on” sign.

That morning I had decided to tackle this hill by my house. I have lived here for 15 years and I have drove the hill many times and seen people biking and

running up it. I have even seen a teenager taking a skateboard down it and 15 wild turkeys crossing it, but I have never in all this time thought I should

attempt to walk up it. Why? I have a car.
I called Dan. In his sleep fog he agreed to wake up and put on his gym clothes to get coffee. It’s a good thing I called him and got him to agree before he

woke up and caught on to what I was doing. We hit the road he asked which one we were going to and I told him, “The one by my house, down Thunder Hill

and then back up.”
He didn’t fight me on it at all. I think he realizes that I have his best interest at heart. We warmed up going down the hill and then went back up and kept going.

On a cold Saturday morning we walked 3.3 miles.
When I got home I knew I had once again blown it by walking on my bad ankle. It had not healed yet and this is the second time I have pushed myself before it

was.

At the local haunt I was tempted by the call of the Electric Slide. High heels, slipper dance floor and a bad ankle was not the best combination.
This morning I am paying the price for that action as well as the urban hike I had taken that morning.
Jeremiah is taking advantage of my state by insisting that I help him get past the Poison Ivy level. He is promising me that if I do, I will be his favorite Auntie

Awesome.
I decided to call in reinforcements because after 2 hours my ankle and now my ‘kick joker ass’ finger is sore. I don’t believe they will make it fast enough

though.

“Auntie, you have had time to rest, it’s time to get back to playing. Poison Ivy won’t kill herself for me.”
I’ve forgotten how exhausting being a mother of a 4 year old is. He’s the best guy out there and so very easy to take care of and love.
He said, “Mommy!” the other day and I looked down at him and said, “Yes?” He laughed, “the other one.” Tabitha just laughed too. The village might have

gotten smaller and moved a little bit, but we are still his family and always will be.
As I type, he is on my knees playing his video game and looking back at me smiling happy.

Yes, I am STILL glad my life is exactly the way it is and I am the lucky one who gets to live it!

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07
Jan
oh my goodness!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Alyx turned 14 today.  Four.TEEN.

Let me go back to yesterday when I was writing Kara’s half page yearbook dedication.  I started with, “I should have known what kind of woman you would

become when you were just a baby…stubborn and strong willed.”

Looking back at Alyx at just an infant and seeing her now, it’s all very clear what kind of woman she is becoming.  She has always been funny, but it wasn’t

until ‘texting’ and ‘facebook’ that I have really seen where her humor comes out best.  I hope she writes a book someday that makes people laugh like she

makes me laugh.
She’s going to be able to do whatever she decides is worthy of her time, because she’s smart and most things are pretty effortless for her.
Of course, she is beautiful.  Her inner beauty and all that makes her the tiny, little bit of a package she is going to make her life so beautiful.

My birthday wish for my sweet Ally Cat:
I hope for you that your friendships are long. You don’t put up with anyone’s crap and be a leader in the things you find passion for.  Be yourself, because

you’re the most amazing person I know. You are smart, pretty, dorky, moody, you make people laugh and you never make anyone feel bad for who they are.

Those are the things that make you who you are and if people can’t love AND ACCEPT you and what you have to offer, kick them out of your life, princess!

You’re not perfect, you’re messy and confusing and sometimes a pain in the ass.  It’s those things that make you so awesome!  You are part Seguin and that

side of you will get you through the hardest times in your life!
I love you Princess Doodle Do.
-Mommy.

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04
Jan
ya’ll waiting, I know…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
It will be two years since the marriage ended (in April) and 4 months of being single.  If I get one more email telling me to spill it when it comes to the dating

scene, i’m going to close down this blog and you’ll be forced to read about my escapades on Facebook.

Yes, I would love to spill the details of that sordid night of arousing moral destruction.   I don’t have any. Well, I do. But not that I can share here, there or

anywhere.   I’m a private person.   Bwhahahaha!   I actually tried to type that with a straight face.

Here are the answers to the questions I have been asked:

Dating?
no. not really. I thought I could and at the last minute I backed out claiming I had the flu.
Hanging out?
yes. I have some really amazing friends that I am spending time with.
Sordid nights of arousing moral destruction?
Uh. No. I still have morals.  …  …. …..Bwhahhaha! shut up.
Someone special?
yes and no.
Over your divorce?
OH HELL THE FUCK YES.  I was thinking about that again this morning. I am baffled how someone can be your whole world, you can be together that long

and go through the things you did and be married and love each other…but now that he is gone my life is better. How is that possible?  I don’t know. I’m glad

he left. THIS is my life. I am lucky enough to call THIS my life!
Over that ‘one guy’?
Yes and no.  I’ve accepted that we won’t ever be together. I have also learned that much like my divorce revelation, I am a different kind of happy and there are

other people in this world that think I am amazing, have beautiful eyes and want to get to know me for who I am.
How’s quitting smoking?
Well, I would stab someone in the neck for a single drag.
How’s the new place?
Awesome.  The stairs are a bit much at times, but I like it.

I’ve mentioned the list my sister has made and how I have managed to tweak it a bit.  I put on Facebook that I was trying to decide between Castle Crag and

Mt. Lassen…or both.    I got a huge response from people that would like to join us,  including my brother.
So what started out with just me and my sister is now up to 6 more people.   Hopefully with those people doing it and talking about it, it will encourage others

to join us. It will be interesting to see how many people will be there the day we climb the mountain.
If you’re interested, shoot me an email at random and odd at gmail dot com and I will send you the details.
Okay, now I get to spend the rest of the day making sure that I don’t accidentally stab people.

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03
Jan
Yes, it’s as good as I had hoped.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


2.365, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
I woke up on 1/1/11 and my arms felt like I had worked out for 17 straight hours.
Matt, Leslie, Kara, Jordan and I were playing Let’s Dance 2 all night. I’m pretty sure, Proud Mary was the one that did me in.

After the house was empty I started on laundry, a prime rib roast and relaxing. I was successful with all three.
I also started the no smoking promise I had made.

I went through every stage. Throwing away all the butts, dismantling my smoking spot and getting rid of my smokes.
By 5pm I had dug through my car looking for one smoke left in a box, digging through the trash to see if there was a butt big enough to light and checking all

my pockets for a pack that might have been left in there. I found one and I smoked it with enthusiasm of sex deprived addict. I waited for the guilt to kick in.

Nope, it wasn’t there. I felt no guilt what so ever. Why was I quitting in the first place? I love this!

As I climbed the stairs back to my room to brush the taste out of my mouth, my legs started hurting. It had been a few days since I had been the gym or done

any kind of walking. Oh yeah, this is why I was quitting. Not because I made a vow with my sister or I wanted to be a good role model. I was doing it because I

want to be able to push myself further than I thought I could go. This smoking thing is slowing me down. Damn it. I’m going to have to remember that the

next time I am tossing the contents of my trunk on the garage floor because there MIGHT be a half a pack of stale smokes in there.

This morning I woke up and remembered this is another day I won’t be smoking. Instead of smile, I sighed.
The worst part of this is the catch 22. Today I go back to the gym and I push myself again, possibly farther than I could in the past…but I won’t be able to

reward myself with a smoke.
Yes, I see the stupidity in all of this. Yes, I know how stupid I looked lighting up a smoke before I even had the car started to head home from the gym.

I’m going to have to just knock myself out when I get home from the gym to forget the joy of those quiet moments in the garage smoking, playing Angry

Birds or texting with a friend.

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03
Feb
I need to listen to my sister….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
I had a long talk with my sister the other night about a choice I had to make.
The things I have done in this life that are scary do not come to the magnitude of terrifying as the choice I made.
Dropping 100 feet under water, not a problem. Stepping out of a plane over and over, yeah, scary as fuck…but not terrifying.

“Go for it. Give it 100%” That was her advice. Now my sister is the smartest person I know and she has never pointed me in the wrong direction, but this is…

it’s fucking scary! It’s stupid and it goes against EVERYTHING I have been preaching for years and years.

I watched an interview with the queen of daytime and she said, “Love shouldn’t hurt.” BIG RED TRUCK! It should be fun, familiar, comfortable and not scary.

Tabitha’s voice is running through my head too (which is not conducive to anyone being able to think clearly) “all or nothing, bitch…all or nothing!”

I’m going to try. No, I’m trying. NO, I doing. I’m doing this. HOLY SHIT, i’m all or nothing and I really have no damn choice do I? I need to just let go and just

risk it…again!

Thanks, I needed to just write it out, I feel better now. Carry on.

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03
Feb
crying wolf.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
The other day I went to the shoe store to see if I was in need of new shoes, which I firmly believe I DO NOT, but I was told that might be the problem.
The guy was really easy to mess with and I can’t help but mess with an easy target.

“How many miles would you guess you’ve put on the shoes?”  He’s looking at my once very white shoes that are not so white anymore.
“No many. 30 last month and before that…uh…not much.”
He’s looking the shoes that I told him I have used only for treadmill use, “Really?” He’s skeptical because there is no way these shoes have only been on a

treadmill.
“Yeah, really.”  I feel the evil streak in me twitch, “Oh, I wear them when I am playing Olympic Soccer and barrel racing.”
He looks up at me, “oh yeah…that will do it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, “no, I’m kidding.”  He looks at me not amused.
“Well…they look pretty worn.” Master of the obvious points out.
“OH…I know why. I skydive in them.  That’s probably it.”
He looks up at me with a look that is screaming, “I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR HUMOR!”
“No, this time I’m not kidding…I really do….and I suck at sticking my landing.”

I kid you not, he turned and walked away.

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01
Feb
What’s the brightest color in the crayon box?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Hiked the other side last week., originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

Back in 1991 I met this skinny, smart mouthed chick. She had crazy long, red and curly hair that you envied and also was grateful it wasn’t yours because it

would take forever to brush it out or style. She was obnoxious and loud. She ran with a posse of girls only half as pretty as she was and I didn’t like her.
As if 1991 wasn’t full of new things in my life, like a boyfriend, his crazy ex girlfriend AND his newborn son…I had to deal with this chick?

It wasn’t long before we moved to Sacramento. I wouldn’t have to deal with crazy anymore. Being 19 and being able to put all your belongings in a Esprit bag

and travel trailer to move 3 hours away was scary and exciting at the same time.
A little bit before I moved I got into a “conversation” with with this chick about her poor choices and she said with all the confidence in the world, “You don’t

pick who you fall in love with.”
Oh for fucks sake, who spouts out one liners like this!? She did.
I took it with me and let it roll around.
You don’t pick who you fall in love with. I was raised with free will and was encouraged to make choices. My mother is a firm believer in the ‘give you enough

rope…’ theory on raising children.
My first boyfriend, I had picked him. He was the new guy in town and I didn’t know anything about him. The next guy was exciting and fun and I thought I

would fall in love with him too.
Psssh! That chick was dumb. I picked who I fell in love with.

After I moved to Sacramento and found my own footing, I ended up meeting up with that crazy chick again. She was living down here now too and instead of

only hearing ONE side of the relationship story, I listened to hers and despite my wanting to hate her and not believe her…I did. “Kristine, you can’t pick who

you fall in love with…” she went on explaining the story of her and the boyfriend and the drama that had followed them. She was everything I should hate, but

I couldn’t hate her anymore. She went from Crazy Chick to Tammers in the span of a night full of talking. We would become great friends over the years. I still

didn’t understand half the stuff she said, but I loved her zest for life.

It’s been 19 years and I remember the exact moment that I finally understood what she was spouting off. She meant REALLY love someone, like take a bullet

kind of love, that ‘why in fuck would I love someone like this?’ kind of love. No, I wouldn’t have picked him to love because for every reason that it could

work, it shouldn’t. This man…is not my type and I have spent too many years not really liking him because he’s grumpy and egotistical.   Oh god damn it. I

GET IT, TAMMERS….I finally get it!

This weekend we met up for coffee and chit chat and in the middle of our commiserating she spouted another one. “It’s not what I think I am, it’s what YOU

think I am.”
Again, for fucks sake woman, what does this mean!?
I wasn’t going to wait another 19 years to figure out what it meant, but I was going to let it roll around and let myself figure it out.
I had a three hour drive home and I thought about all that she’s going through and how far in life we have both come. I count this girl as someone I not only

love, but admire. She has the ability to take the lemons and make not only lemonaide, but a whole empire of lemonaide stands where all the proceeds of the

sale goes to curing cancer and free boob jobs for the flat chested.
“Hey Tammy, I’m awesome and I think you’re awesome so that’s really all that matters.”
She tilted her head and gave me her signature smile, “Exactly what I am saying!”

The dialog in my head went something like this, “I am not what I think I am. Yes I am. I am awesome, wonderful, loving, scared, a little girl, weak, strong,

unorganized, spontaneous, smart, dumb, silly. I am a lot of things, how am I not what I think I am?
I’m what you think I am. No. I know a lot of people think I am something I am not and I would have to call bullshit if anyone had the balls to say it to my face.

Tammy is retarded and I will have to ask her what she meant when I get home.”

I did. I asked her what she meant and she explained it to me.

All I ask is, please God don’t make it take 19 years before I FULLY understand what she meant.
…and please let that crazy, skinny, adorable woman be a part of my life for another 19 years.

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31
Jan
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Going home!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Saturday morning I was hell bent on sleeping in, but I woke up at 6am and couldn’t go back to sleep. So much for the excitement of not setting that damn

alarm!
I logged on Facebook and chatted with an old high school friend for an hour and then right as I was debating if I wanted to go for a jog or stay in bed and

watch an old 80′s movie, I got a text from Tabitha.
“Best time yet!” followed by her 2 mile time and picture.
I love her, I truly do, but I could have killed her at 7am when my guilt started kicking in.
I had eaten 4 bites of fettuccine the night before and the brain twisting guilt was too much to handle. I grabbed the phone and pulled another early morning

phone call to the ex. “Get up. Going on a hike.” He agreed in another sleep induced fog.
We grabbed a couple bananas and granola bars, which he enjoyed giggling over the fact that he called it bird food, and some water and headed back up to

Foresthill, which is quickly becoming my favorite place in the world.

On our way up to the hike, we both had joked around that we were going to probably push each other off the cliff, dump the body in a dumpster…typical

joking stuff.
The first leg of the hike was straight up hill. Before the second switch back I was certain this was his plan, to kill me with this hill…then I remembered it was

my idea.
We stopped and looked over the cliff edge and I looked at him and said, “You realize that if one of us doesn’t come back, after the comments on facebook,

one of us is going to jail for murder?”

On the way up the second switchback I was cursing at him for his ability to just chit chat away and none of his talking included, “Holy fuck this is steep

fucking hill, what the fuck are we doing this for again?” because that was going through my head the whole time.

By the time we got to the top of where I put my foot down as ‘far as I will go uphill’ I had gotten past the whole “i wanna go home, this sucks, why am I doing

this, i hate outside, I hate that man, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, i’m thirsty.” silent temper tantrum I was having. I was actually enjoying the burn and the lack

of air.
We agreed to try this trail and see where it took us. The first part seemed like a walk in the park with trees, streams, nature…not a sound but Dan’s talking and

our feet hitting the rocks. We found a steep part that was meant for mountain biking and ended up jogging down it. There was only one point where I got

scared. It wasn’t the cliff or the momentum I gained running down the hill. It was the 3 mountain bikes that came out of NO WHERE at a speed I have never

seen a bike go! I swear on all that is holy that I screamed like Pee Wee Herman and nearly ended up jumping on Dan’s back I was so scared. Of course I

laughed and felt really sorry for the mountain bikers because I think i scared two of them into taking a whole new route.

After we got back to the car, we decided to push forward a little further and ended up walking another 2 miles. We found the most beautiful part of the river

because of it.

It might not have been the smartest thing to do, but I then got in the car for three hours and drove to Redding. By Williams my legs were cramping up. Even

smarter than that was the three miles I walked with my sister the next morning on the river trail. The fact that walking to the jeep hurt should have been the first

clue for me to knock it off, but I love the river trail and didn’t want to miss out. AND because of it…i was rewarded. I accomplished my 30 miles in 30 days

goal that my friend had set for herself and motivated us to follow along.
This woman is such an inspiration with all that she does for her family and her friends.

This next weekend, I am going to sleep in on Saturday and on Sunday I am going to take my friend out to hike, because football…CAN SUCK IT.
(that feels like one of the best habits I have ever quit!)

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28
Jan
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Sometimes our skydiving pictures get old. That is why we decided to narrate this one.

Kristine: “Wendi…where did you put the cooler of beer?”
Wendi: “FUCK! it’s in the raft!”

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27
Jan
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I bitched the whole two miles. I do NOT want to be here., originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

it is commonly thought that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…it’s NOT, it’s fucking creepy and by today standards, pathetic and borderline stalkerish.

Knock it off.

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25
Jan
I had to laugh…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Ex-Wives club: Great minds dress alike, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Kara and Marina had their college night and when Tabitha showed up to pick me up, I giggled.
We were both wearing jeans, black boots and a red jacket. Apparently the ex-wives club has a dress code!

This year so far has been amazing. I’ve added a few more things to the list of crap I am doing to keep moving. In February I am walking the Golden Gate

bridge. Seeing that I am dragging poor Tabitha along on all the things I’m doing, I invited her to be my Valentine’s date on the bridge. She has agreed to join

me. This means of course that I will need to help her clean her car so she can drive us.

I signed up for a 5k in April…and yes, I talked this poor woman into it too. I am SO proud of her. She’s been going out in the mornings and running to

prepare. We have a theme song, “Ain’t no stopping us now!”. It’s amazing how your life can change when you start looking at yourselves through the eyes of

those that TRULY loves and cares about you. We see strength in each other and don’t forget to remind each other of those strengths. There are times when we

forget how awesome we are, and just about then we are reminded.
Sometimes by the sheer stupidity of other people we are reminded.

We are up to about 30 people that are going to climb Lassen in August. I put it up on Facebook and there are some people not on Facebook that are going

that have committed. I’m aware that probably more than half may be unable to attend when the time comes, but I am doing my best to keep people motivated.

I contact my friend Matt every other day or so to check in on his progress. I swear, people need to not telling me what they want to do when they are drinking.

He told me he wanted to lose weight so I gave him my treadmill and I am hounding him. I’m sure he’s going to kill me by the end of February.
I get how poor Matt feels because my boss keeps making me feel bad for not joining him on his half marathon. I told him, “Oh hells no!” and he gave me

that, “If I can do it, you can do it” look. He did convince me to sign up for the 5k so he can TRY to be a little nicer. He’s going to have me running one of

these nearly every month at the rate he is going! (I might need to quit my job to avoid shin splints!)
Did I mention how much I think running is just retarded all the way around? It is. totally wrong.

So on that note, my life is busy and that is good. It gives me less time to think about my personal life which is…chaotic and confusing. I just know where I am

in my life and I have no control over where anyone else is.
I know what is enough for me. It’s enough that I have many great things coming up including the Oka Cup which I can’t want to go to and get some amazing

pictures and enjoy time with all my sky family. I’m bringing Chocolate cake for Craig to insure I have a spot on the floor when I pass out from too much fun.

I heard a song the other day I haven’t heard in a long time by Faith Hill…”Keep Walkin on.”
“Well the road is narrow and it’s straight
But it leads right up to the Golden Gate
It may be rough it may be long
But I don’t have to walk alone
Step by step and day by day
He takes my hand and I hear Him say
Keep walkin’ on, gotta keep walkin’ on
Oh, keep walkin’ on, oh keep walkin’ on”

I am…and I am not alone. I have a lot of people cheering me on.

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23
Jan
No jumping? not in these pants!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


No jumping? not this trip ;), originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
What an AWESOME hike this was!

Don and Amanda came from the city to go over some prep work for the wedding and Don said he wanted to see the Foresthill bridge (large bridge in the back

of the photo) in the day time.

We walked the bridge to the middle and then back and then decided to come down to the trail and hike back up to the bridge. It was about 3 miles of hiking on

the most beautiful day I have seen in forever!

We saw this sign and had to laugh. No jumping? from that big bridge behind us? really? You’re going to tell us we CAN’T do something? :) hahaha! As my

friend Wendi would say, “Don’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real mom!”

I’m glad we made this hike today and I can’t wait to do it a bunch more. The weather was beautiful and it didn’t feel as far as when I am on the treadmill. I

could have gone for a few hours more! twss.

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22
Jan
Stuck in a moment….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Mt. Lassen shoes., originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Alyx passed! She is a black belt now! I was surprised how hard it was for her. She was so nervous. It was a turning point in her life and you could see it. Proud

doesn’t cover how I feel.

Turning points seem to be a common thread in our lives. I can see a turning point in all our lives.
Dan is getting healthy. Kara is getting ready to start her new life after school. Shea is changing and becoming quite a young lady. Me, I guess you can say I

am finally seeing a change not only in my appearance, but in the way I feel about what is left of my life.

There are moments when I say, “Tomorrow isn’t promised and we should be living each day, not just getting through it.” knowing that this life of ours is so

short in the big scheme of things. Then I saw something today at the giant flea market, a violin. For a moment I thought, “I can’t wait until I am older and I will

take lessons.” I could see myself in my sixties, sitting in front of a teacher learning how to play that complicated beast.
It’s those moments that stop me in my tracks and make me look at the life I am living right now.
I’ve changed. In the last few months, something shifted in my head. All the things that were enough for me, just aren’t anymore.

Remember that movie when the lead says, “Love means not having to say you’re sorry.” That’s not true. Sometimes people need to hear that. They need to

hear certain words to heal a part in their heart. Those words don’t always come and so they find a way to heal their heart without them.
“Love conquers all.” That’s not true. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. Because sometimes you can love someone with all your heart and be nearly certain

that there is no you without them…and then you have a moment when you see there is no future because neither will ever bend. Staying would be settling.

It’s taken time…but I see that. I understand now and I don’t need to hear that sorry.
I wanted more, but I know that this is enough for me. For now.

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21
Jan
I’ve moved to the dark side…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I’ve moved to the dark side…, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
I was asked why I would switch over…and right now it’s just to be able to have proof that when I talk shit about Canon, I can have some sort of reference to the

shit talking.

So far, Nikon is still better.

It’s Friday. Dear sweet Jesus it’s Friday.

Alyx is testing for her black belt in karate tonight. I’m really proud of her. She has been working for this for years.

This is turning into another one of those weekends that I am going to be busy. I’m not complaining. That means that I am moving around and I will NEVER

complain about that!

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14
Feb
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
….boom.

that is all.

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13
Feb
That look! Yes, you can have anything you want!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Oh that look!, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

We got to have our little man for the night. I had to share him today, but not before taking him to the park!

But this look! OMG this look!

He was working the room the other night and all I could think is, “You’re going to break hearts left and right, little mister!” He is! For realsies…this kid is the

most amazing, handsome, smart, big hearted and cuddly person on the planet.

I’m so lucky! :)

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13
Feb
Holy Hell Batman!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


The last couple of days have been amazing!

My BFF Wendi and I went and got massages on Friday and the hot stone was awesome.
I was all relaxed and decided it would be good idea to go work out. 3 miles and the weights kicked my ass. Dan makes up for Wendi’s lack of ‘push’. He made

me do 60 sit ups with a damn medicine ball. On the third set I was going against my new rule of not burying people in the backyard and trying to figure out

where his plot would be.

This morning Dan and I got Alyx and Shea out on a trail that we had not ventured yet. It seemed pretty easy…and then after a mile the trail got narrow and

went straight up…for another two miles. At the top we turned around I managed to jog back down without falling off the cliff or twisting my ankle. The girls of

course decided to prove how out of shape we were and ran BOTH ways.

Six miles later we got back to the car, where Shea managed to take a digger right behind the truck and scrape up her leg.
We used some water from the CambelBak and cleaned her up.

Alyx was passed out before we even made it back to Rocklin.

I thought I was going to be okay, but as soon as my head hit the pillow I passed out. An hour later I got a text from Rina saying they were on their way over.
My little man brought me a Valentine balloon and Tabitha brought me a bottle of wine and some chocolate (which I won’t eat, but they were received with

much love.)
Now I have my “family” on the couch after hours of visiting and laughing.

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10
Feb
Whoa…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
And Greg takes it a step further by jumping out of an airplane without his rig on.

I want to crack a joke and say, “Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about his leg straps getting twisted…” or “Forget the fact that he isn’t wearing his rig!

He’s not wearing SHOES!”   but this video is a no joke.
In the past Greg did a airplane to airplane skydive. The first time I saw it I was in awe.  The planning he put into that must have taken forever. This too must

have taken a lot of prep work.
After watching this video you won’t agree with me, but this skydiver is actually very safe.  Okay, it was really hard to type that because the video…IS INSANE.

I complain about wearing a helmet.  Silly me.

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09
Feb
Using rear risers to plane out the swoops
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


*evil smile*, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

I swear, I should just start a fan club for Bill. I post more of his videos here than anyone one else.

“Downfall” parody of Hiltler with Mad Skillz in skydiving / swooping can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3y_7y2TxVU

I was crying laughing from start to end!!! “Hey girl, he’s alive…for now” I had to stop the video I was laughing so hard!!!

and the ending, “i’m going to jump a gopro”.

Way to go Bill! you captured it PERFECTLY!

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08
Feb
P….I….T….A….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I should be leery of what I ask for…, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

I spent my lunch break looking up the next trail on our list of trails. It feels good to finally have some focus. I was flip flopping around on what I wanted to do

in this body that is getting stronger.
It’s hiking.
Dan had to go get new shoes because his everyday shoes just weren’t cutting it. I bought my hiking shoes at the beginning of the year when I got my

CamelBak. I finally understand all those granola eating, tree hugging, hiking people and why they wear clothes that look like they just got off a trail. This shit

is comfortable!
These shoes…I just want to cuddle up with them and snuggle. The pants, I could sleep in them. I am working on getting me a shirt that I love too.

For those of you that have been keeping track over the years, Dan is the first ex-husband. He bugs me to death and there are times when I want to punch him

right in the throat…but he is the guy that answers the phone at 6am on Saturdays, gets excited when I send him a new trail map and pushes me to do more at

the gym. So as much as I want to push him off those trails into the ravine below..he’s also the guy that would make sure I don’t get bit by a snake or take on

too much and get lost. (Directionally Challenged as I am)

This weekend is a 12 mile hike. I researched it and realized that my car won’t make it back to the trailhead. I whined and complained and then I remembered

something…he has a truck.

Here’s to hoping he answers the phone at 6am on Saturday!! :)

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08
Feb
Natalie…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
My friend Natalie came to Lodi this weekend to get in some cheap jumps.  She ended up doing 17 !!
I was bummed that I didn’t get to see her while she was here, but i’m sure my skyfamily took care of her.

There is this cool camera for sports called the GoPro.  I don’t have the money to get one, but it’s on my list after the container, canopy, aad, altimeter and

suit.   Natalie, of course, owns one and she said she got some good footage.   The weather was perfect this weekend and I am SO happy she had a chance to

get out of the rain and bring her friends down to play in our playground.

Another friend posted a picture of Blane in free fall that is just sick, if you’re on my facebook you have to check it out.

Anyway, if the video is good, i’m going to show it to Bill and she will have to come work at Lodi.  I somehow don’t see her living in the bunkhouse though. :)

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07
Feb
…when you step off the cliff all those questions go away
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I am SO proud of my sky friends and how they are finally being recognized for the amazing strides they have made in the sport of skydiving and wingsuiting.

FINALLY the segment in Courage in Sports is up on TIV’s Vimeo page: http://vimeo.com/19647744

There is something that Brian says about how when he’s standing on the edge and your mind is screaming ‘don’t jump’ but you do it anyway.  How many

times in my life my mind has told me that…”Don’t…” and how many times did I listen?   I’m tired of listening to that side of myself because in the past year I

stop listening to ‘don’t'  and I have seen, heard, experienced some AWESOME things because of it.

Again, the amount of pride I have in these guys is unmeasurable. They are great guys and deserve the recognition they got.

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06
Feb
Colon Capital D.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


What an amazing weekend this turned out to be!

The best part of it was getting people involved.  Yes, I had to lie to Jessica about how far the hike was, but she showed up and had a blast.
I have so many plans for this year and each weekend involves a hike somewhere.  Today I realized that is probably my passion in the whole ‘moving’ part of

my life.  I hate running, I hate biking…but hiking is amazing.
On Saturday as I wound my way around Lake Tahoe all I could see was hiking trail signs.  At the dam we ran into seasoned hikers and I was asking them

questions and they were happy that they had newbie on the trail.  I’m happy to have finally found where I fit.  The greatest part is that anyone can be motivated

to join in.
Dan and I got Shea and Kara to come along.  Shea’s energy is astounding.  Kara is just like I was at her age, but I am happy she went.   My friend, Jessica

brought her daughter who is nearly four.  I’ve decided to hire that little girl as my personal trainer!

This week I’ve done good with relaxing and wearing this stupid calf sleeve and IT WORKED! all better!!  It also means that I have spent a stupid amount of time

watching the first season of Glee on DVD.   I finally understand why people think Rachelle is so annoying.  GET A CLUE, WOMAN!  I’m hoping by the second

season her WAY open mouth open singing and ridiculous dancing around isn’t as bad.
There is one line in the show that I swear had to be a callback from Nip Tuck because the woman playing Will’s wife was on that show as well. Her sister is

trying to calm her down and says something like, “What!? are you having a black baby!?”  (On Nip Tuck her husband was white, but the season clincher was

her having a black baby)
The show is good, but I hate how 90% of the show is the ‘destruction’ of the club. I hate that. I’m not a fan of people trying to make other people look bad.

Speaking of TV, isn’t there something really important on today? HA! NOT WATCHING IT!!! going to hang out with my Lil’ man and Tabitha because thanks to

Facebook I have already seen the best commercial being played.  VW wins. ;)

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05
Feb
:D
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I can’t understand why they would need this sign ;), originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Really? that sign is going to stop people? It’s screaming to be jumped with that sign saying it can’t be climbed.

No, I didn’t.

Nor would I.

Or would I?

*evil smile*

“Hold my beer and watch this….”

No, I didn’t. … but that beer sounds good.

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03
Mar
Already?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Alyx signing up for High School, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Alyx signed up for her high school classes today.

For those of you that started with Random and Odd all those years ago, you have watched her go through grade and middle school…and next year our little

Alyx starts high school.

Im not the only one in shock, right?

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28
Feb
I can walk today!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Waterfall of fun!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

The plan wasn’t to spend the whole day out in the canyons on Saturday, but that is what happened.
It was spose to rain on Saturday so I was thinking that we could get in a quick 3 mile hike. I prepared the Cambelbaks the night before with plenty of water,

trail mix, a sammich, and a Cliff bar. MORE than enough to get us through that short hike.

When I opened my eyes at 6 am I could tell it was going to be a beautiful day. The 3 miler turned into the 13 miler.
Half way through I realized I didn’t put enough water in the packs and we would have to find our way to a waterfall. Luckily, this time of year there was plenty.

Sunday I woke up and texted the ex to see if he wanted to squeeze in another quick 6 mile hike from Foresthill to Cool. He said he was too sore and after

getting up and stretching out, I realized I should probably just rest for a day. I didn’t just rest…I slept like the dead.

A hot tub was offered up for my lounging and recovering, but when it came down to it, I had to text him back with, “I don’t think I can even drive.”
I drive a clutch and the thought of that much work almost made me pass out.

Now it’s Monday and I am SHOCKED that I can walk. It’s truly amazing how forgiving my body has been to me. I have abused the hell out it for 38 years. Three

children and years of eating nothing but crap and the lack of movement is staggering. Now here I am, one month into hiking and I’m going 13 miles and able

to get up out of a chair and not wince and whimper.

I think if there is one thing I want to get out of this is to get OTHERS to follow me. If you have been following me for any point of time, you can see the

progress I have made…I’m not fucking with you people, IF I CAN DO IT…YOU CAN TOO! I don’t care if you have one leg and the other is a cast, use the arms!

GET OUTSIDE. “it’s too cold!” … yeah, I know it’s cold, grab a jacket that you can tie around your waist, because trust me, after walking a little while, you will

be hot. “It’s too hot!” Go invest in a camelbak and hydrate yourself.
YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!

I tried to get my friend Mike to join me this weekend. He said his car was frozen and he wouldn’t be able to…maybe next time. I replied with, “You’re going to

regret not going…unless this is the time I get attacked by mountain lions, then you’ll be really happy you stayed on the couch.”
He texted me later with “5.5 miles, I don’t feel so lazy” I replied back with, “I’m on 8 miles with 5 more to go!”
ME…KRISTINE…the one who hates to drive 8 miles…

I’ve gotten emails from people who have been motivated by seeing me get up and move…I want EVERYONE to do this, it feels so good. If you want a

cheerleader, i’m your girl! If you need someone to email you and remind you, TELL ME….I will do it.
This isn’t something that I want to keep to myself, this is something I want for everyone I know.

It’s only been a month, you’re not that far behind me. Next year I am signing up for the 50k endurance trail run. This year is just about learning how far I can

push this body. So far, 13 miles.
My goal to walk, run, hike 30 miles in 30 days was blown out of the water with a whopping 58 miles in 27 days!

YOU CAN DO THIS TOO! I promise!

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27
Feb
Oh, ouch. I hurty.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


IMG_20110226_161807.jpg, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

Yes, you’re reading that correctly. 13.6 miles on Saturday.

We decided to make all the hikes we have done into one big one.

In order to avoid Random and Odd becoming a giant Hiking Blog, I decided to create a blog for just the hiking part of my life: HIKING WITH THE EX.:

http://hikingwiththeex.blogspot.com/

It’s still in the process of having everything added and all the post written. Where it will go or turn out to be, who knows.

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25
Feb
or did I win?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Somewhere in the middle of the night what started out as cuddling turned into a professional wrestling bout.

The snoring was likened to growling and the only way I was going to get back to sleep was to maneuver my body into a position where I could bury my head

under the covers.

Face to face cuddling isn’t how it started out, but when I moved my leg to do the strategic flip and roll move, I was pinned down with an iron arm and held

into place.  If I speak he will awake and find his way back to his corner so I have to make a small squeaking sound that will release his grip and allow me to

squirm from his grip and find my spot.

Tonight, all of my classic attempts were not working.

Slowly I put my shoulder into his and the growl that escaped from his chest stopped me dead in my tracks. The grip tightened and I had to struggle for a

breath of air.  I would have to resort to talking.

“flip over, please.” I quietly request.

This next move wasn’t one I had encountered in the year and half of cuddling.  He released his right arm, tightened his left and rolled over taking me with him.

 The head lock cuddle was usually only used in the beginning of the sleep pattern and with little effort I could slide down and out, but this time he had a death

grip.

The fact that I switched sides with him earlier in the night probably threw off his maneuverability and he was just putting me back in my rightful spot.  This

spot tonight was in direct line of the fan that keeps his molten lava body temperature at a tolerable level.  For me, it causes my already freezing body into

hypothermia.

Instead of tempting the fate of getting back out of bed and on the other side of his warm body that will block the fan, I stay where I am placed.  My teeth are at

the borderline of chattering so I move my foot to find his. In his sleep he detects my foot movement which has been brought to my attention drives him up the

wall. He grabs my foot with his two feet and I am not even kidding, he slaps my foot with his and pushes it away while pulling my upper body closer.  Mission

accomplished, I am back to front with the human heater and my body temp is going back up.  The flaw in this plan is that my body is blocking his from the

fan and he is going back to boiling and I can actually feel my skin burning where we are touching.

It’s 3am and I must find a happy medium.  I climb out of bed and survey the situation.  His body knowing that I am not in the bed any longer begins searching

and after a few moments, he falls back into his snoring slumber sprawled across the middle of the bed.  I see an opening towards the top of the bed and try to

curl my way into that spot.  A few moments of peace before he scooches back into his spot, grabs me back into the face to face cuddling position we started

in.  His hand finds my hair and pushes it out of his face and I just finally give in.

He won.

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23
Feb
Goin’ good!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


These shoes were made for hikin’ and that’s just what they’ll do!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

My girls are with Gma and Gpa this week for their break.
I got a call at 9:30 last night from Alyx, “Mom, my tummy hurts.” Being 3 hours away there wasn’t much I could do. “I’m trying to sleep, Aly!”

I called her this morning and she said, “I think I had too much popcorn and candy at the movies last night.” to which I thought, ‘spoiled brat.’

My involuntary vow of poverty has me trudging. To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the

impulse to simply soldier on.
Eat popcorn and candy…AS IF THAT IS AN OPTION! I’m living on trail mix, tuna and lemon water. Not because it’s a new diet fad, but because that is all I can

afford until payday. I lost three pounds yesterday, but I almost passed out on the treadmill.
There has to be a happy medium somewhere in my life.

HAPPY. I forgot to mention happy. Yes, I am broke as a joke, my friend is struggling with issues that I can’t help her with, and my stress level is through the

roof…but i’m happy.
Some shit went down, but it got worked through and through the fine art of communication, things are back on a road we can both travel on without looking

for the first exit sign.

I’ve been praying a lot lately. It’s mostly for my step-step son and his family, but it’s gotten me in the habit of handing things that are not in my control to a

higher power.

I found out a way to not stress out at night. I walk my trails and figure out where I am going on Saturday. It’s been working. I was asleep early last night with

dancing switchbacks in my head ;)

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22
Feb
Just not feeling it…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


OUCHIE!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
The more I am outdoors the less I like the gym.

I find myself not even counting the days before the weekend, but the hours now.

It’s only Tuesday. That’s like…HOURS AND HOURS away from my next adventure into the canyons.

On Sunday I bounced down from the rocks we had to scale and on to the beach, “WE MADE IT TO THE RIVER!” I yelled out. Right about then 3 of these

scretchy ass birds flew from the river bank and scared the living shit out of me.
I’m not quite the hiker I want to be yet. It will be nice to have a bike or bird fly out at me and not scream like a sissy lala.

Good thing I am getting the hang of all of this hiking before I finally get my coveted invite to hike with Mara and her friends.

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21
Feb
Rockin’ this party 8 days a week!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


What a beautiful hike!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

I’m getting excited as the weather is finally getting better. It’s spose to rain all week, but clear up on Sunday.

March is a busy month. I have a wedding I am shooting for two of my skyfriends. No, it’s not jumping out of a plane!
My other sky friends are having their Bye To Winter party at the end of March and if it turns out anything like the drunken texts I got last year, it should be fun.

It’s the weekend the girls are at their dad’s house so there is no reason I can’t find a spot on the carpet and crash for the night. Oh wait, they put in hardwood.

Probably won’t care by the end of the night.

I got an email on Friday night with the details of a high school friend’s death. I was in shock…and to be honest, I still am. This person was larger than life and

I never would have guessed he would leave the earth this early in life. My heart goes out to him and his family. My heart goes out to the person that sent me

the email because he was best friends with him and it must have been very painful for him to write that email to me.

The email I got this morning from a different friend made my day. To know that my path in this life is helping someone else always makes me happy!

Things are good.

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20
Feb
Another amazing Saturday and Sunday!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


IMG_20110220_124638.jpg, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Saturday morning I called Dan to see if he wanted to get in a quick hike in before Alyx’s black belt class. He agreed and we grabbed our gear and headed out

to Foresthill bridge.
I’ve been gathering pictures of the trails to start building a website for our hikes, and this is one we had already done. We decided to go up past Mossy Trail

and go the next three switchbacks we hadn’t gone on before. The incline is what I am now calling ‘the ass kicker’.
There was rain all week so we knew the trails would be squishy, but we weren’t prepared for the snow. We reached the top of the trail and it actually lead all the

way to the bridge top. The sense of accomplishment was awesome!
Going back down the trail was a comedy act. I was too busy focusing on the up incline and wasn’t thinking how brutal it would be coming back down!

We had already planned a hike for Sunday. Last week we took the girls on a hike and it lead to an outlook, but they were done after the three miles there and

we knew the three miles back would probably kill them. We decided that we would carry on to the second part of the trail this Sunday.
This morning we got to the look out and there was no one there. The first half of the hike was downhill into the canyon to the dam they never finished. We got

down to the bottom of the canyon and I started joking that we were so off the Western States trail I could hear banjo’s playing. Right about then I heard a guy

coming up behind us. He was carrying trimmers and a big pic handle. “oh god.” We could scream and no one would hear us!
He turned out to be one of the hikers that was building the new part of the trails and was a wealth of information. He told us all about the failed construction of

the dam and all about the trails. His name was Tom and he gave us a new route to take. We had planned on making it to the river and turning around, but he

convinced us to go down the river and back up to the other trail and make our way back up.
We sat down on some rocks down by the river and had our trail mix and Cliff bars. The hike back up would have been worse, but the hike the day before had

geared me up for it. We found our trail and started back up. We then met up with someone who had a secret trail we hadn’t been on before. He too gave us all

kinds of information as we made our way through the rock walls and down to the waterfall. As we hit another switchback we met another guy who gave us

information on the trail and we said our goodbyes and headed back to the truck. We soon realized we were back on the trail from last week and the hike was

going to be a brutal uphill climb. The trail was complete mud, but we made our way through it without too much trouble.

We checked the GPS trail tracker at the end of the hike. 11.7 miles. That was our longest hike so far.
The trail guide was rather impressed that us ‘first seasoners’ were taking on so much after only a month of hiking.

I’m so impressed with the endurance level I have now. Just last week I was hurting getting up the inclines of that switchback, but this week I only had to stop a

few times.
Next week we plan to take on a hike from the bridge, up to the look out down to the river, back around and to the bridge. Next week our goal is 15 miles.
We started the training so I will be ready to climb Lassen in August. I’m already ready and so excited to see where this will take us.

The second hiker was talking about the two essential hikes of anyone that has put on a pair of boots or trailblazers….Mt. Whitney and Half Dome.

I have two new hikes to prepare for now!

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16
Feb
PIA 2011, Reno NV.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Pete at PIA 2011

I, and SO many others trust this man with their life.  Thank you, Pete!

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15
Feb
I believe…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I believe…, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

I heard this song last night at the gym and remembered a couple times in my life where this song brought me to my knees in tears.

When Dan and I ended our marriage and I started to figure out who I was without being a part of someone else and I was blessed with this strength, I began to

understand what ‘joy’ really meant.

That woman in her apartment with her 3 very, very little girls eating PB&J and enjoying nothing more than sitting out at the pool or going to the park…I

thought she was so strong. I wasn’t all that strong back then, but I was strong enough to stand up for what I believed in. I believed that SOMEDAY I would be

able to find true happiness and show my girls what that looked like.

I thought I had failed them, but I realized something yesterday. My oldest daughter who was about 6 or 7 when her dad and I split up was on a date with her

boyfriend of almost 3 years last night. My middle daughter sat on the floor of the gym as I tossed her father the medicine ball and said, “I’m glad you’re

friends.”

11 years ago I was willing to walk away from my whole life, the security, the safety for what I believed in,—that there is something you never compromise

on…and that is the real thing you NEED in love.

I’m willing to be alone for that.

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21
Mar
How to NOT skydive…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Bad Arch. Didn’t present to the wind upon exit. BAD.

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18
Mar
Catchin’ up again…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


IMG_20110316_103245.jpg, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
It’s Friday and everyone at work has seriously lost their minds.
Half are hung over, the other half just look hungover. Gotta love St. Patrick’s Day.

I didn’t do anything last night but take a hot bath and watch yet ANOTHER Indiana Jones movie with Lester. I think I have officially seen the one with Sean

Connery a total of 83 times. Last night was the one with Short Round and I finally watched the whole thing from start to end.
Last night was the point where I put my foot down and decided to pay my damn cable bill. There is only so much lame movies of Netflix and To Wong Fu I can

watch without wanting to shoot my TV. Direct TV=1, Kristine=0.

I’m 77 days into the 365 photo challenge. I got sick of it after week 2, but I am getting more into it now. Some days it’s just a stupid picture without thought

and some days I actually have to think about what I want.

The 5k is coming up and Tabitha and I decided we are walking it…and if we can find the other smoking runners, we are buddying up to them. She hurt both

ankles training for it and I just hate running on pavement. I’m still glad we are doing it and I am SO happy I signed up for it because of the proceeds are

going to a cause that needs it.

Mt. Lassen is still on and I’m ready!
I’m 2 lbs away from having lost a total of 40 lbs. I hope to have lost another10 by then, but no hurry…I’ll get there when I get there.

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!! I am super excited for my friends and getting to spend a working day with my daughter. Bear is so fun to hang out with and she is

even better to work with. She knows all the hand signals and the last wedding we shot together she blew me away with her professionalism and the amazing

shots she got. I let her do the flower girl shots all on her own. When I was post processing all of them it brought tears to my eyes to see what breathtaking

work she did.

Things are good. Really good. No, pretty fucking fantastic.

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15
Mar
Happy Birthday, Little Man.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Jeremiah turns 5 years old tomorrow and out of fear of getting too busy I am writing this now. His birthday tribute.

On his second birthday, I made this video for Tabitha. It was to thank her for allowing Jeremiah to be a part of our lives.  I was digging through all the videos

and tearing up as I have seen him from the day he was born up until now.  Being a part of his life has been a blessing I can’t be more grateful for.

He has always had a way of becoming apart of who you are. He molds you into a better person. This has never been more apparent as when Tabitha and I were

at our worst.  Jeremiah knocked all his baseballs over the fence and he asked her if he could come over and ask if he can get them.  Looking through the

peep hole and seeing her made my blood boil, but then I saw him take a step back and my heart burst open.
She asked if he could his baseballs back and I asked if he could go with me to get them.  I want to believe she saw the softening as he held out his arms for

me to pick him up. “Hi Auntie.”
I remember that day my back was hurting something fierce, but I picked him up and spun him around and nuzzled into his curls, headed for the backyard.  

Putting him down was impossible because I never wanted to let him go.  We gathered them up and headed back to the front door.  I could see she had

softened too because she genuinely thanked me.  That was the first step to mending one of the worst broken, splintered fences ever.

Jeremiah loves his sisters.  Alyx, Shea and Kiki will never be his Rina or Jen, but he knows that he is more than loved.  Last weekend he was sitting on Shea

and he turned to me, “I’m a little love bug. I love people. People love me right back.”  And he nuzzled back into Shea and continued to play his video game.

Yeah, buddy…you are loved right back.

The first night he was there we were getting ready to go to bed and he nuzzled up next to me. His little hands so much bigger than they were when he was just

a baby. He held my hand and remembered when he was just barely a year and he would need to take a nap. I would put him up in bed, turn on Sprout tv and

he would find ways to communicate with me. His words, his sign language or his big brown eyes had a way of telling exactly what he needed.  Mostly he

needed to cuddle up in my arms until his sweet, curly head would be sweating and his drool would be covering the front of my sweat drenched shirt.
“What do you want for your birthday, Buddy?”
“Mostly just video games. I like those. I want the Superhero Squad for my DS. I mostly just want all games. No toys. I don’t play with toys.” He sighed and

scootched in closer.
“I was thinking about getting you a coloring book and a box of crayons.” I burrow my smiling face into his curls, he still has the little boy hair smell.
He pulls away to see my face.  That is something he can do, he can read you and has used that trick to his advantage his whole life.  He can spot a fake and

won’t have anything to do with them.
“AUNTIE!  he sees my sly grin. “My mommy made me color with her for TEN HOURS one night. I didn’t want to, but it makes her happy. I just wanted to teach

her how to play that video game so she could help me. She does help me all the time.”
“You have the best mommy in the world?”
“Yep!” He digs his feet into my stomach and pushes his little body half way across the bed.
He then gives me details about this video game and I have to smile and wonder if this is exactly how Tyler was when he was his age.  He looks so much like

Tyler it’s just crazy.  I noticed when he was playing his video game he has the exact same mannerisms as his brother, and if anyone knows what Tyler looks

like when he’s playing video games, it would be me.
“I think i’m going to get you a stack of books.” I try to say with a straight face.
We spend the rest of the night talking about his other Auntie. Auntie Jessie and how she needs to get some video games for him when he goes to her house.

“She has chalk.” he says like it’s a crime against childhood. “I just need to teach her how to play Batman Lego.”

It’s hard to imagine he’s only been in our lives for 5 years. It feels like he has always been here, at this age, playing, talking, joking and ‘tuddling’ with us.

Watching the video proves that he was just a little guy with the wisdom we didn’t understand.  He will get even older and his voice will change, he won’t be as

bouncy…but that face and his eyes will always, to me, just that little boy that looks at me and says, “I love you, Auntie.”  and melts my heart.

Happy 5th Birthday, Buddy. I love you so very much.

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14
Mar
not letting anyone turn my cartwheels into hands
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Oh Monday morning, you dirty hooker you.

This weekend was so relaxing. On Friday Tabitha and Jeremiah came and stayed.  I got my “Hi I love you Auntie” and a quick hug before he was off and

playing with Shea.  Alyx got home from her black belt class, dropped her bags and was upstairs as soon as she heard his voice.
The sound of the kids playing is always my favorite.  My second favorite sound is of hearing Marina and Kara arguing over something.  I think I had both this

weekend.

On Saturday morning we headed out for the hike. (which can be read about on hiking with the ex)

When we got home the amount of relaxing was equal to the amount of work we had done that morning, which was A LOT.

Sunday was my favorite because Tabitha took the girls swimming and shopping and Marina and I got to lay on the couches and watch movies.   For as long

as I have known her, Marina has a movie watching ritual. The first part of the movie she gets comfortable, tucks her feet in and pays attention…for about 5

minutes. The phone will come out and she will check for texts or missed calls and she will miss an important detail of the movie.  After ten minutes she is

pulled back into the movie. The phone slips into the couch cushions and the blanket creeps further up to her neck.  She will laugh at the right places, jump in

others…and then about 45 minutes, she’s OUT.   90% of the time she will wake up with 5 minutes left in the movie.
This weekend she made it through the first movie. It was one we had already seen. The second movie we both passed out.  Blankets covering our heads to

block out the sound of the pounding rain.

In the late, late afternoon I had finally finished all my laundry.  Ashley made a surprise trip to make Shea happy.  Both girls talked her into driving them to

Taco Bell and as we talked I cleaned out my garage so I could move Kara’s car in.

All in all it was a great weekend.  I finally took care of all the big things that had been bugging me. My mountain of laundry and my garage looking like

Christmas and camping had hurled in it.
I got two nights of Jeremiah asking if he could sleep with auntie awesome and waking up to him telling me how much he loved me.   The first night we talked

about everything, but the second night he came up and said, “I’m grumpy! it’s just because i’m tired.”  He grabbed a pillow and cuddled in. “I’m sorry. I’m

tired.” and fell right to sleep.  My little man is getting so big and I’m not ready for him to be be FIVE YEARS old in 3 days.

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13
Mar
R&O can’t be viewed with IE. Download Firefox or Crome. Please.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
For those of you using anything other than IE, you can read this.
There are some that can only read the title of the post and see the outdated banner.

Something happened and R&O broke up with Internet Explorer. I don’t know the details of the break up…nor do I care.

I would like to say, “I will get right on fixing the problem” but that would be a lie, because I don’t want to.   My brain is done reading code.

For those of you that can read this…HI. For those of you that can’t….well, you can’t read this so it doesn’t matter.

* I checked IE to see if the problem is still there, ONLY this post can be read. LOL.  Well, for those of you that are using IE, you’re missing a huge part of the

website and you should download firefox…cause all the cool kids are using it.

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09
Mar
FINALLY!!!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Jeremiah
Insomnia struck last night and I insisted that Alyx come back home so we could cuddle and I could go to sleep.
When I woke up this morning from a truly wicked dream about animal abuse, I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I said, “There is a reason to get out of this bed, but I

don’t want to get out and find out what it is.”

Dragging my disheveled self into the office I was almost 100% this wasn’t it.  I opened my email and if angels sing, they did.  I got an email from Tabitha with

my little man’s TEEBALL SCHEDULE!!
This is the day we have been waiting for since he could stand and hold a bat without falling over.  I actually cried when I read the welcome letter.
My calendar is highlighted with dates and practices because it’s going to take a act of God to have me miss a game (well, except for the first one because I’m

shooting a wedding) and I want to make it to his practices too.

I’m going to have to print out a schedule for the girls too because when I told them last night that he was signed up they were so happy!  “about time!”   It

feels like this day has taken forever.

Time to dust off the lawn chairs and coolers and cheer on my little man in his TEEBALL UNIFORM!

Yes, this was the reason I got out of bed.

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08
Mar
duh.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
If you’re following me on Facebook or Twitter, you know i’m a Sheen Supporter.
We are going into week two of his ‘ranting’ and people have gone past the “OMG, he’s crazy!” and have now formed their opinions on how he’s going to die

by the end of the month.

My friend asked me awhile ago, “What’s the deal” and she gave me a link. It was written from an Chinese man’s point of view.  I can understand how their

lifestyle is way different and expect horns to start growing out of “poor charlie’s” head.

This is my stand: Seriously, leave the guy alone. Don’t judge his lifestyle. If he’s not coming into your home and sleeping with his two goddesses in your

bed, leave him alone. You tired of reading about him or hearing about him on the radio…change the channel or move somewhere you don’t have to hear

about what is bubble gum popular right now.  Was I sick of hearing about what Tiger Woods and Jessie James did? YEAH, hit kinda close to home…I would

change the channel. Problem solved.  Was it annoying? yeah, but so was Britney, Lyndsay and back in my mom’s time…probably Elvis.
It’s out there and I think what is pissing people off is he isn’t just gracefully closing the door and publicly saying, “I’m a disgrace…forgive me.”
No, he’s letting his freak flag fly. He’s in your face with all the crazy.  Is this drug caused crazy? Maybe, but did that stop us from listening to Nirvana or

Motely Crew? No, they made their shit rhyme so it’s okay.
What if it’s not drug induced crazy and he’s just ‘crazy talking’??…fantastic, it worked for Bush for 8 years! and hey, Palin is rocking the crazy talk!

So here it is…we don’t know him. His friends know him and if they are supporting him and loving him, that tells me all I need to know about the guy.  We

don’t know what years and years of living in the media limelight has done and what he has seen…or how jaded he has become.  Do you? have you lived that

life ALL YOUR LIFE? no, you haven’t.  (if you have though, that would be really cool if you comment or leave me your phone number cause AWESOME!)

I don’t want a single bad thing to happen to my personal Elvis and I don’t wish a bad thing on him.  Do I feel sorry for him and hope he “gets help”…I don’t

feel sorry because either he is truly ‘winning’ or he’s faking it until he makes it and I’m all about that!  Who am I to say if he needs help. Perhaps he’s more

sane that I am (actually that’s probably not in question, we all know i’m crazy)

If he’s a rockstar from Mars throwing fastballs with only the intensity that a man with tiger blood running through his veins…I say, ROCK ON CHARLIE.

(and seriously, if I read that you bought a Cadillac and shot out your television I will forever be happy)

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07
Mar
Part 2
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Part 2 of giving thanks.

John F, thank you for everything and most of all…introducing me to people that I would, as you so nicely phrased it, go to the ground for.  You have a knack

for meeting great people and introducing them.

Mara and Craig, for real…you two are an inspiration. You open your home and liquor cabinets and provide all of us with amazing memories. Mara, I keep

finding reasons to love you more and you telling me to get hiking shoes and a Camelbak…that started this madness and I can’t thank you enough.

Matt and Leslie, I love you two. I have no idea what more I can say…except you’re awesome.

My Rina Roo,  You’re the brattiest of all my brats! You also have one of the biggest, loving, wide open hearts.  Sometimes I want to hug you and other times I

just want to strangle you. Mostly hugging you though.
Be a good girl and thank you for teaching me so much about being a step mom. The memories I have of you and the ones we continue to make is something

I am VERY grateful for.  I’ll always be your Wah-ma!

Jen, I can say the same things to you that I did for Rina. You’re an amazing mother and wife and I am so proud of you and Greg for sticking with it.  GO

AIRFORCE!

My two Natalies (P and G) KEEP ROCKING IT. You two inspire the hell out of me. One dancing on poles and the other taking Skydiving by the balls and

making it yours. You rock those red shoes! Both of you!

Sheryl. Holy crap woman. How long have you been a part of my life? It feels like you’ve been around forever being my cheerleader and hand holder.

Joeinvegas: I wonder if you’re really in Vegas.  Doesn’t matter, because you’re a cheerleader too and I love that.

Fran:  You can stalk me  anytime and I can’t wait to hang out with you when you come to CA for AFF.

Michelle or Shelly… doesn’t matter how I pronounce your first name, your last name is Mayer (or will be once he finally lifts that restraining order.)

Ashley…sweetie you have wormed your way into all our hearts and I still can’t thank you enough for all that you have done for us in the last couple of years.  I

don’t feel like I need to tell you here, because I tell you all the time how truly amazing you are and how much your mother would be SO PROUD of you.

Lester…fucktard. I better say something nice about you now, because you never know, I might be mad at you in 10 minutes. Thank you for showing me what it

feels like to be truly loved.

Tammy, way to go woman! My Dutch Brother addict I am so in awe of you and how far you’ve come since we met a billion years ago.  You are living proof that

the best revenge is being happy and doing it right. Let the  haters hate, I got your back.

Thank you, I am so blessed to have each of you in my life and supporting whatever new shit I dive into. You have inspired me and made me a better person

just by allowing me to be in your lives.

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06
Mar
Road to Cool
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Road to Cool, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
I write my best when I am devastated or blissfully happy. Right now, I’m just coasting. To avoid boring you all with the details of this week’s hiking adventure,

I created a website: “hiking with the ex” which can be found by clicking on the link to your right…the one with the little hiking logo…not that one, the one

above it, no…you scrolled past it. Yep, right there.
The photo of the day is still active, but I don’t think it is turning out to be what Kara had intended when she suggested it. It was to build her photography skills

and to be honest, all but one of those pictures on my 365 were taken with my cell phone camera. She was doing fantastic and then we lost internet access at

the house. Hey, either senior trip or cable/internet. She picked senior trip so for the last month we haven’t had either. It’s a sacrifice that we all to accept.

Some better than others (me=better, kids=not so much)

The other night Kara came home from night school in a pretty good mood. My boyfriend was over having dinner and they began to talk about one of her

projects that she has coming up. I was only half paying attention as I pushed the uneaten pasta noodles down the drain and tried to get the marinara sauce off

the stovetop.
I leaned back from my spot in the kitchen and listened to their conversation. Kara is so passionate about equality that sometimes it’s hard for her to see

straight. I’m thinking at some point she is going to have a mini stroke at a rally or finally be able to shoot sudden death rays from her glowing eyes and kill

people.
She pushed her chicken around and listened to how to debate a mock bill from a position that the other guy doesn’t feel like he’s being attacked. This was the

first real conversation these two have had since he came back into my life. Of course it would be about gay marriage and morality. They carried the

conversation into the genocide and Jewish death camps. At one point in the conversation I looked at my daughter and thought, “Who are you and where did

you learn how to sound so damn smart!?” It was then that I realized that her passion had finally fed that ‘you’re dumb’ place that had ruled her for so many

years. She had found something that she felt so strongly for that she pushed past how far she would normally go to learn more. This single act had given my

daughter confidence to be able to speak her mind and she wasn’t faking shit, my daughter is smart. REALLY smart.

Speaking of smart and to drag you all back into my hiking realm; I was smart yesterday. Last week Dan and I hiked 13 miles. The more we hike the easier it

gets. This week we took a route we hadn’t taken before. The first three miles is straight uphill. I have done the 1.5 miles straight up before, but this was a bit

more. Only once did I decide I needed to hear myself squeak, “I need to stop smoking all together and I want my mommy.” After 7 miles I told him I was done

for the day. He was disappointed that we weren’t going to tack on the other 3 I had suggested, but if last week was any indication of the recovery time, I didn’t

want any part of it. Last Sunday I spent the day in bed with mental and physical exhaustion. This Sunday I’m fine. It could be from the 45 minutes I soaked in

a hot tub with jets and the half a bottle of wine I ingested while I was boiling my tense muscles might have helped. Today I was able to get right out of bed and

not have to crawl to the bathroom.

I was talking to some co-workers that said they were interested in hiking Lassen this summer and they pointed out that I’m ready for that hike and I had to

agree. I am more than ready. I might not be the fastest, but I will finish. The other day I decided to skip the gym and do some street running/walking to get

ready for the 5k I signed up for. I didn’t make it as far as I had hoped because, and I’m not sure if you know this, but the pavement is MUCH harder than my

trails and that treadmill. SHOCKING HUH? It’s also ridiculously boring. The streets I was running were the same streets that I drive and have seen for the last

13 years of my life. No waterfalls or mud pits to run through. I realized with the time I have left before that run that it’s not about getting a good time, it’s about

getting there that morning and finishing it. That’s it. That is what it was when I started all of this and then somewhere in the middle it was about how fast I

could do it and just yesterday it was about how far I could go. I’m getting tired of ‘how fast? How far?’ and I am no longer fully enjoying the time out of the

house and the feeling I get from doing it because I’m focusing too much on beating the last time or distance. I’ve decided to go back a month and find the joy

I had by plotting out a ‘good’ hike and not a ‘distance/incline’ hike. I’m done the training for Lassen, I got that one!
I did decide that I do want to get up at 4am one day next summer and hike Mt. Whitney.
I “met” a woman on the trail to Cool yesterday who was wearing a shirt that said, “50 miles is the new 26.2” or something like that. This means she has done

one of the qualifier races for the 100 mile endurance run. She was 69 when she did it. This year she said, “I will do the 50 mile if I am feeling good. It all

depends on my health…I would like to do it at 70, that would be neat.” She said her goodbye and began jogging uphill.
HOLY FUCK WOMAN! For reals, that woman was jogging up a rocky incline.
Dan and I decided to name this trail, “The Humility Trail” as we were passed by training endurance runners who were on probably their 3rd trip back and forth

and by people who doubled our age.

“They started at the same place we are…” and that is what I have to keep reminding myself.

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03
Mar
Part 1
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
It’s my birthday month, which means it’s Kara’s birthday month too. She turns 18 this year.
I’ve written many things about her on her birthday and this year will be no different. This year I am going to write something about me and the people in my

life.

I’m reminded on a daily basis how incredible my life is and it’s all because of the people I choose to surround myself with.
It’s time to give a few of them thanks.

Wendi…you whorebag I love you to death. Your daily IM sessions with me just make my day.  The conversations you forget and rehash the next morning are

always fun. I love after the end of the vent session you say, “AND what is going on with you!” because you always know something new happens on a daily

basis.

Tabitha…I’m so proud of you. Who, in a MILLION years would have guessed that you would be the voice of calm reason?  I like the new you. No, I LOVE the

new you.

Jenny S…if it wasn’t for your every 2 month phone calls to remind me to pay my car insurance, I would be lost!

Tim…truly, you need to stop being so nice to me.  No, don’t. J

Pete…we don’t talk that often, but you keep all my beautiful sky family safe and for that…you’re the most awesome person I know.

Ed…you snarky ass, I’m glad you’re a part of my life.  Not TOO much of it though. ;)

Blane…thanks for loving my BFF.

AMANDA!!  You keep amazing me with your inner beauty and complete awesomeness. Now stop getting that damn song stuck in my head!  See you in a

couple weeks!

Juda Bug…I love you. Need I say more?

Michael…dick. Make me a damn bear for my birthday.

Mike H… You make me laugh, and that’s a hard thing to do.

Daddy… Thank you for everything you do for me.

I’m going to continue this on throughout the month…I have a lot of amazing people that need to be recognized and this is just the first installment.

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15
Apr
When you’re not a step mom anymore
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I thought of something funny earlier this morning and it was something my step daughter, Marina had done many years ago. My instinct was to text her and

get a good giggle out of her, but the hour was too early and I would have to wait.

Later that morning I was retelling the story to a co-worker. Seeming confused she asked, “I thought you were single?”
I quickly explained that her father and I weren’t married any longer, but she would always be my step daughter.
It got me to thinking about the terms of being a step parent.

There is no question that she’s my step daughter, but when are divorced parents not step parents anymore?

My first husband has a son.  Ryan was born the month before I turned 19 years old. I became an active “parent” in his life when I was 20 years old.   Every

other weekend, holidays and summer breaks were spent being a step mom to him and then I became a full time parent when I gave birth to my daughter, Kara

a year later.
I look back now and wonder how I did it.  The stress of a newborn coupled with being a wife and a step mother who was dealing with his insecure mother.  As

difficult as it was for me, I can also see how difficult it was for her. It doesn’t make the mental anguish I suffered any better for the younger me, but it made

round two of step parenthood a little easier.
Ryan began slowing moving out of our lives before my first husband and I started to drift. The truth of step parenting Ryan was, we never got very close. I was

his caregiver, his dad’s wife, the woman he spent car rides with that would make him laugh. I was technically his step mom, but we never had a lifelong

bonding.  I love Ryan and always will, but he had a ‘mommy’ and it wasn’t me.
When Tyler and Marina came into my life full time it felt so natural. To my second ex-husband’s credit, he did a fabulous job marrying our two families.
My relationship with Tyler was a fun one. He was at that age where was learning about who he was and wanted to become. He was a blast to be around and we

always had fun together on our senseless shopping trips.
Marina was a little harder to get to know.  She was stubborn, shy and wouldn’t tell me what she was really thinking. Her trust level was very low.  There wasn’t

a day I can remember when it changed, but it did. I truly became her step mom and I would wake up in the morning to find her messy, blond hair sticking up

out of the covers next to me.  She would do ridiculously nice things for me and she allowed me to see her for all that she was. The good, the bad, the ugly.

We fought, but there wasn’t a time I could say I didn’t love that little shit head as if she was my very own.  She was my daughter’s sister and my baby girl.
Being a step parent is the hardest job in the whole world because no matter how much of your heart you surrender, there is the chance that it can be ripped

away at a moments notice.
This is what happened to me.
Watching my step kids leave was hard, but never knowing if they would come back, not physically but emotionally…was heartbreaking.
Marina came back, but it took time and a new relationship had to be built. The “ohana” we always had would come with new ground rules on her part. She had

been hurt too and that fear of loving me came with great consequences.  Would she be loved back? would she feel like she was betraying her father, or even

her own mother?
I can’t imagine the turmoil she went through and probably still does.

The lines are blurred on step parenting a child that doesn’t live with you anymore.
My love hasn’t changed. My concern for her well being hasn’t changed. My level of respect I give and expect in return hasn’t changed.
That leads me to where I am today. I’m dating someone who has older children and a younger child.
Are my years of being a “step parent” over?
My role as Marina’s step mom as I see it now is a life long one. It’s an honor that I love and sometimes causes pain.  As much as I want nothing more to have

my life 100% 2nd husband free, I also know that being there for her means I have to occasionally hear things, see her happiness that is intermingled with his

or comfort pain that is caused.  There is nothing I can do but be there for her. it’s a trade off I am willing to accept.
My role as a step mother outside of Marina are over though.
I’m blessed to have the friendship of my boyfriend’s older daughter.  She is a beautiful, smart, loving, open hearted, stubborn pain in the ass woman who has

a step mother already.  Her step mother was there for her through some really rough times and no one, and I mean no one, has earned the badge of step

mother, quite like she has. It was hard earned that came with fighting, tears and tugs of war.  I believe that she is the woman she is today partly due to the fact

that her step mother didn’t throw in that towel that would been so  easy to do in this thankless role as step mom.  They both stood their ground and because

of it, each one of them are better women because of the relationship they have.
I’m just dad’s girlfriend and I am more than OK with that, no matter if it lasts a year or a lifetime.

So the question is, When are not a step parent anymore?
The day my divorce was final I texted Marina and told her that it was official, I wasn’t her step mom ‘legally’ anymore. She texted me back, “You’ll always be

my step mom.”
The tears came and didn’t stop for awhile.
Would Ryan or Tyler still classify me as their step mom in conversation? Probably not.  I hope they know I love them dearly and would never hold it against

them. They are grown and living their own lives and not a part of mine any longer.

I got a text as I pulled into the driveway today, “When are you going to be home? I’m here.” It was from Marina.  I walked into the house to find her curled up

under a blanket on the couch.  She was waiting for her friend to come pick her up. She said she had been there and watched a movie with Kara before she left

for night school.
We sat around and talked about this very subject and others, we watched TV and then her friend showed up.
As she left she gave me a hug and called out to her friend to drive safely.  I locked the door behind her and grabbed her spot on the couch. As I pulled the

blanket up around me I could smell her sweet perfume and it made me smile.

When do we stop being step parents? For me, hopefully never.

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11
Apr
Motivation…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I am excited to announce that we have 7 more people joining us on our “Climbing Mt. Lassen” trip in August.  Because of this invitation these people have

gotten out and started walking! This brings our total up to over 30 people climbing!
All because my sister said, “I’ve lived here my whole life and never climbed that mountain.”

Since the race Tabitha has been pushing to see how far she can go and is now between 3 and 5 miles a day with a three mile time of 23:58.

We are in week 2 of April and I am almost at my 30 miles in 30 days goal.

2011 is looking REALLY good for a whole lot of people!

How’s it looking for you!?

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10
Apr
Hiking off a cold
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Hiking off a cold, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
I couldn’t take it anymore. If I didn’t get out of the house I was going to start killing people.

The ex was asleep at 9 when I called him and told him to be ready in a half hour. He was still asleep at 10 when I called to find out where he was.

This was a hike I had been wanting to go on since we started doing this, but I was CERTAIN there wasn’t a cold chance in hell I could make the round trip of

3.5 miles there and back. Funny how we let our minds fuck with us. This now is a ‘warm up hike’ for me…unless I am coming off a brutal cold.
I told Dan I wasn’t going to run today because I was on DayQuil and I hadn’t moved in a week. We got on the trail and my new mind took control. “Let’s run”.

We ran the mile down to the bridge and then off and on the rest of the way. It felt SO GOOD to be back on ground again. My shoes were so happy that they

squeaked when I put them on. Okay, that might be because the last hike required me running through a water fall and I had to dry them in the sun. But the

shoes were happy non the less.

This was the most crowded trail we have been on, but when day hikers hear trail runners coming up behind them, they tend to get out of the way. Everyone

was really nice and moved aside so we could keep going at our pace.
Doing this hike was harder than the 5k. I was so worn out at 2 miles I had had to stop and take a few minutes to catch my breath. Trail running is tough shit.

I had a long talk with my friend, Bill the other day. He said I am motivating him and then he told me a little story about this marathon he ran just because

someone told him that he wouldn’t be able to do it. He said he was going to send me the link to train and we are going to run one. He didn’t laugh nearly as

hard as I did when he said that. “I truly have no interest in running a marathon.” He said, “You will train and we will run.” Okay, Mr. Miagi…I will train. *rolling

eyes* I love Bill though.

Dan and I have a few friends interested in signing up for the Merrell (my shoe maker) Mud Run in October. We want to do the 10k. Okay, let’s be clear. Dan

wanted to do the Tough Mudder. Google that shit, LIVE WIRES, oh hell no! and Tabitha wants to do the damn Warrior Dash. PEOPLE, can we have a happy

medium? Yes, the finally listened to me and we have decided to do the one CLOSE TO HOME and WITHOUT LIVE WIRES! stupid ex’s of mine. i swear those

two and their wild hair in their asses. How did I get mixed up with those two!?

Oh yeah, God said, “You will have all the happiness I can give you…but your best friend will be a wild red head that jumps out of planes, and you will join

her. Your other best friend will be your second ex husband’s first wife who is just straight crazy and you will be life long friends with you first ex husband who

will drive you so mad that your hair will fall out and you’ll find new names to call him on a weekly basis. Just to cover the bases, you’ll be madly in love with

a grumpy old goat that thinks you’re the most amazing woman…but oh the happiness that you will get from these individuals will be well worth all the

trouble…you cause them.”

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09
Apr
Wonderful World of Me.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I shouldn’t be at work. I’m sick., originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Tuesday marked one of the best nights of the year so far. Wednesday marked, what I believed, the worst day of the year so far.
I couldn’t breath. My eyeballs hurts.
Then Thursday came. It was worse than Wednesday. It was Wednesday on steroids.
I managed to muddle through work and as soon as 5pm hit, I would nearly burst into tears and down some cold medicine.
This had to be the worst of it.
Wrong. Friday came and said, “Hey-oh!” and I called my boss. He heard me and said, “No, you’re not working today…you’re resting and you’re getting

better.”
I only half listened to him. Knowing that if I didn’t work on Friday would mean Monday would be unbearable, I did all that I could before the medicine kicked

in and then passed right out.

This morning I woke up just in time to get my morning cuddle and hear the door shut. “GET UP!” my brain screamed. “NO FREAKING WAY!” screamed the

cold.
At 7:30am I started to get fidgety. I was afraid there was a hike I was missing.
“You awake?” Clearly Dan wasn’t awake, “You going hiking?” I was hoping he would say no.
He didn’t go without me.

Somehow I managed to get out and get some stuff done, but by the end of the 2 hours I was completely worn out.
Thankfully one of the things I did do was get some stuff to throw on the grill and get dinner out of the way.
Single greatest purchase last year was my BBQ. I love it more than anything I have ever bought.

Saturday was a wash. I’m hoping and hoping that I wake up tomorrow and i’m able to get out there in the sunshine and get feeling healthy again.

This has been the laziest weekend since…before the new year! Perhaps this is my body’s way of saying, “Slow the fuck down!”

No. I don’t wanna!

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06
Apr
Sweet Baby Bear…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Mini Me, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
I only see it every now and again, how much my daughter looks like me.
I saw this picture and it almost made me cry.

Kara in a pink wig…she looks like me.

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04
Apr
Go Team Random and Odd!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random




Go Team Random and Odd!, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

Team Random and Odd ran their first 5k this weekend in Rocklin for Officer Redding Foundation!!

This was a first for all of us. My boss gave me a guilt trip a few months ago about not even signing up for a race. Out of guilt I found the closest one to me

and signed up. I didn’t think anyone would join me, but that was okay with me, no witness to my absolute failure would be fine with me.
The next thing I know, I’ve got Tabitha signed up. I truly didn’t think she would do it, so when I got the IM, “you bitch!” I knew she was registered and we

could do this together.
It was soon after I posted it to my facebook that my friend, Tim signed up…followed up by Amanda.
Tim was the smart person that started training for it by running and a couple of weeks before the race he decided to give himself a handicap and run with his

parachute on! For those of us that know Tim, we expected nothing less. He’s an amazing person and he’s SO FUN.
The night before the race he came and stayed at the house. Jeremiah was introduced to him as “CapTim America.” Jeremiah looked at Alyx like she was nuts.

“No really, Jeremiah…this is CapTim America!”
Tim pulled out the video that Bill made and showed him. The clencher was Tim in a full track looking like he was flying through the sky. He brought in all his

gear and Jeremiah got excited when he put on his mask.
“Do you have a shield?” he asked skeptically. If this is the real Captain American, he’ll have a shield.
“Yes, I do.” Tim told him.
You could see Jeremiah’s whole body raise up and take notice. “Where is it?”
“It’s in my truck.” Tim answered.
At this point Jeremiah had lost all composure and you could see the breaking point of this 5 year old, “WELL GO GET IT!” He said it in a way that made it

sound like, “You’ve been sitting here for HOURS and that shield has been in your car the whole time!? Who does that? WHO LEAVES A SHIELD IN THE

CAR!?”

Tabitha also trained for this race in the beginning until her ankles decided to tell her to knock it off and she had to start hiking with us to get the strength back

in them.
I say that she has wheels in her ass, because even when she’s sitting, she’s moving. Being on the hikes with her I knew that she would ditch the pack and run

ahead. She did and had she not slowed down to wait for me and Amanda she would have made it in under 30 minutes easily.

Shea and Dan started out together and somehow they got separated. Shea took the lead and said she stopped a few times to wait for her dad, but then just

kept going. Had she not stopped and walked back to look for him her time would have been around 25 to 28 minutes. Holy hell little girl! Not bad considering

we signed her up on Friday so Dan would have a running buddy.

Amanda spent the last few months training for something more important than the race…HER WEDDING.
She was the most awesome running buddy. She had her music going so we could both hear it and when she ran it was seriously the cutest thing I have ever

seen. She has this sexy bounce and swagger. Poetry in motion.

It was a good time because I was surrounded by my friends and family. Marina, Alyx and Kara set up their chairs by the finish line and cheered us on as we

came in.

I’ll do it again because now I have Tabitha all hooked and watching Shea and how proud she was of herself, and Dan…who knew!? He had a great time. I on

the other hand was waiting for the fun part to kick in. I mean, 2,000 people doing this…there had to be something to this whole running thing. It never hit me.

It wasn’t skydiving and the thrill wasn’t there. No line twists, no back flips, no tracking or docking. I did have to stop and tie my shoe once…that could have

gotten hairy, but it didn’t. It was crowded, the crush of people was a little anxiety filled, it was loud, the scenery was houses, I missed my canyons and hiking

shoes. I can cross it off my list and move on to my next adventure which will be rock climbing. This is actually Tabitha’s but because I have drug her along

into my bucket list, it’s only fair that I support some of hers too.

I’m glad that I motivated others to join and run. That might be the best accomplishment I got from this whole experience, because it wasn’t my time! I made it

in under 45 minutes which is 16 minutes faster than I said I would be happy with. I’m SO excited to see this is something that Dan and Shea will have together.

After the run we grabbed a bite to eat and headed up to Auburn to hit the trails where we added another 8 miles in. Once I got out of the car and saw my bridge

I instantly let it all go again and took a deep breath. This weekend was finally over and I could finally start doing what I want to do without fear of getting hurt.

My feet dug into the ground as we hit the soft earth. This is my playground now.

Results:
1st – Shea
2nd -Tabitha
3rd – Tim
4th – Dan
5th – Amanda
6th – Me

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31
Mar
Everybody Cut Looooose.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


God, I love this woman! She cracks me up!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
Just spent the last hour reorganizing all of my bills and paperwork I need to hold on to.
There are things I wish I could toss, but I know the minute I do, I will need it.
Do I really need to hold on to my marriage certificate? I think not.
I’ve come so far in the last few months. Let go of so many things I feel were holding me back. I’ve pushed myself further into the deep healing I have needed.

Making the mistake of not dealing with the emotions I needed to deal with and just saying, “I’m alright” slowed my healing process down.
I had a strange conversation with the girls last night when we were talking about Kara’s graduation, which brought up Tyler’s graduation. Thinking back to that

day instantly pissed me off again. Those raw emotions of the pain I went through tend to rear their ugly head when I least expect it. Normally I can just brush it

off, but trying to remember which time and what instance of what caused that pain brought me back.
It’s times like that, I say, “Never again will I allow someone to treat me with such complete disregard.”
My life now is better, but the wall that I have because of it sucks. I can honestly love with my whole heart and receive that love right back, but there are those

moments that I still question things. That is something I did before, but for ‘the love of the kids’, I pushed it away.

Now I have file folders full of my legal part of my life. If file folders could talk they would say, “NEVER AGAIN, Kristine. NEVER AGAIN.”

I hear ya.

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29
Mar
thank you for my awesome friends!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


thank you for my awesome friends!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
I can’t even imagine how fun this would have been to request to have done!

My friends used the Goodbye to Winter to double as my birthday party and it was so neat to have everyone sing happy birthday.

By the way, they are amazing skydivers, but they SUCK at singing ;) (except Marianna!)

I’m so very blessed to have such a huge group of friends that are thoughtful and loving.

39 is going to be amazing!!

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28
Mar
“I can hear every single thing God has ever created.”
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Our Playground!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.
I woke up this morning at 5:30 and even going to bed at a decent hour wasn’t motivation enough for me to want to get up.
This weekend was one of the best this year so far.
Saturday afternoon we took Kara in to get her tattoo she has been asking for since she was 16 year old. I was more scared for this than I was her first

skydiving adventure.
It’s really hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she’s now 18 years old. She spent her birthday at the Lady Gaga concert with one of her best friends.
Later in the evening, Tabitha and I headed out to the middle of nowhere to the goat house for the annual “Goodbye to Winter” party. We rolled in after the

party had already been in full effect.
I think I successfully introduced her to everyone I knew and the people that we hadn’t met yet soon became great friends.
Knowing I was getting up in the morning to do a hike kept me from getting crazy.
On Sunday morning with exactly 4 and half hours sleep I laced up my hiking shoes and convinced Tabitha to come. It didn’t take much arm twisting since she

fell in love with hiking the first time we took her out.
With a quick trip to Walmart to get ear warmers and some decent hiking clothes for her, we headed out to our favorite trails.
9 miles and a million laughs later, we finished our day off with a huge chicken pizza and a pitcher of beer.
The rest of our day was mostly groaning and learning the language of ‘eeeh. Ouch. Ooohfph.’
*read more about this hike on Hiking With The Ex

Next weekend Tim, Amanda and Don come join us for the Rocklin 5k. At the party I told Tim that I would happy if I complete that damn thing in a hour. He

looked at me as if I was fucking crazy.
“I uh,” he contorted his face as he tried to figure out how to break it to us gently, “I can run that in jeans and my rig on in 34 minutes.”
OH HELL.

So as it seems, we are going to be passed by a older man wearing a Captain America outfit and a parachute on. If he gets close enough I am totally mugging

his ride and pulling his hackey. Let’s see him run that bitch in 34 minutes with an open parachute in tow!

We are not worried one bit at all. Show up, start, finish. That’s really all we have planned…and if I laugh 1/3 the amount I did this weekend, it will be a success!

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25
Mar
Don’t get too comfortable…just sayin’.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I had planned on writing this huge thing for Kara’s birthday. I didn’t because the day before her birthday I got really bummed out.
My baby girl was turning 18.
Tabitha asked how I was doing and I said, “this sucks!”
She made me feel better by saying, “It’s just an age, that girls been grown for a long time now.”
That actually made me feel better, because it’s true. Kara has always been the most immature mature person I know. She’s the perfect contradiction.
My birthday was fantastic. It’s now the 25th and I have finally finished individually thanking 274 people for my facebook birthday wishes.  There is nothing

wrong with the blanket ‘thanks everyone’, but I have always felt that if someone was going to come over and write something, I was going to take the time to

respond.
This was a special birthday for me.
I had been joking with my boss about wanting a pony for my birthday.   He came into the office with a birthday bag and inside was a pink My Little Pony

figurine.


I’m happy this is the final year of my 30’s.  I’m ready for a whole new chapter in my life.
My awesome brothers called me and Jerry said, “I turn 50 this year, there is no turning back now!”
I’ve never feared getting older. Growing up with my grandma on my Dad’s side showed me that old was awesome. My grandpa on my Mom’s side showed me

that old was fun.
I guess because they weren’t “old” in the sense that they were ever ‘sick’.   They were both so sharp all the way to the end.  My grandma never forgot a thing.

My grandpa snuck out of the house with his oxygen tank to go fishing before he passed on.  That is what I am made of.  I come from that stock. Getting older

is fucking great and I don’t regret a single day or ever want to go back to being younger.

I’m sure they would be SO very proud of their little Krissy. I know I am!

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13
May
Support System…CHECK.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


1305257296074.jpg, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

Since losing weight I have had a few things to contend with.
I can pop on down to the thrift store and get clothes that will do until I get to my goal weight.
I am the biggest offender of What Not To Wear, so I have always kept my wardrobe very basic.
The one thing I have managed to ignore were my bras.  Who cares? Who sees them anyway?
Well, that was question was answered when the guy I am in an intimacy exchange pointed out that he can fit his whole hand in there without touching fabric.
Really? Is he complaining? He has the opportunity to reach in there and he’s complaining?
For awhile I just ignored him until he finally said, “We need to do something about the boob support.”
I looked down at the girls, “Is it really THAT bad?”   Yes, according to him…it was THAT bad.

We went to the Mecca of boob support last night.   Again, twice in one month I am in a mall. My Plan: I would walk in and grab the first thing I saw and we

could go.
That isn’t the case AT ALL.  You need to have the “specialist” fit you.  My plan to pull up my shirt and say, “like this, but better.” Wasn’t going to be executed.

They put me in a good sized room with this massive floor length, framed mirror.  The lighting wasn’t too obnoxious. Perhaps I would be able to pull out of

this without too much scaring.

My hair looks good. My make up made it through the whole day. I need a new pair of shoes.

The “specialist” came in with her first set of bras. “Try this one M’KAY?”  She was the perkiest depressed woman I have ever met. How can she sound so

happy with a look like she wanted to kill someone?
I tried on the first one. “Ma’am…uh…no.”  She had suggest I get a D cup and I was only in a C to start with.  She came in with three more to add to the pile

she was making in my room. “Try this one on first, M’KAY?”
m’kay. I tried on the third and fourth and each one made me look like I was either trying to shove my girls into my daughter’s bra or I was about to go

jogging.
M’KAY just stared at me as I stood there in the room with the big mirror sporting her signature line bra.  She squinched up her nose to one side and squinted

sideways as she tried to figure out where to go.  “B cup.” She turned on her heel and headed out into the hardware store of bras.
“B CUP!?! A B CUP! Oh this is NOT funny!”  My heart started to race.  This was even less funny than hearing D cup.
She came in and handed me the bra that I swear didn’t have enough cuppage to hold the girls properly.  “Try this one on, M’KAY?”

Fuck. I’m a B cup now.

Now to find the bra that would lift, tuck, squish and look like it should be on a 39 year old woman.

While she was out on her mission to locate this mythical object I was standing in front of the mirror.  Dear Lord, when did I get my mom’s boobs?   Was it last

night because the last time I checked they seemed to be holding up pretty good.
I tried pushing them up. Flat on the top. I tried lifting them from the top, THERE WE GO.  Then I released and they hit the floor and bounced back up.  FUCK.
Yes, having three kids and age will do this to a woman’s boobs, I get that, but WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?  I swear to god, it was overnight!

M’KAY brought me about 5 more bras and just about when I finally got the hang of it, I found the right one.

“This one. I’ll take THIS one.”  I tossed it over the door and grabbed my old bra and put it on.  “Ohhhh, this is what he’s talking about!” I looked down at

them and felt sorry for the poor girls.  My best bra was lacking in the support department.

One last glance in the fun mirror of boob hell.  “Well, at least my hair and make up look good.”

I’ve decided as punishment of bra shopping, I will be sitting in the waiting room with a snide smile when he goes in for his colonoscopy.  It seems fair.

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09
May
On a lighter note…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


The best day! , originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
A couple of months ago I was paroosing the thift store when I found a pair of white pants. As a rule, I don’t wear white pants. Nothing good comes from

wearing white pants. If you’re a woman and you wear white pants the odds of you starting your period increase by 78%. This includes women that have already

gone through menopause or had their whole internal baby making organs removed.
There is something alluring about a pair of white pants. They make you look tanner than you are, unless you’re an albino, and in which case you’re screwed.

They are also, despite contrary belief, very slimming.
When I pulled the white pants out, Kara looked at me like I was one purchase away from retarded.
“What do you think?” The look on her face should have been clue enough that the white pants should be put back on the hanger to await another 80’s

throwback child to buy.
I bought them.
All the way back to house I was thinking about all the places I would wear my new, white pants. I could see a trip to the beach in the future. The pants paired

with a big sweater and pair of flip flops.
Yes, the grand plans I had for the white pants. Maybe I could pair it with the Vegas shirt and go out on the town. Nice pair of sling backs and there would be

no stopping me.

I raced upstairs and slid the pants up only to find that I could get them up, zip them up, button them up…but the Costco size muffin top would prohibit about

9 of the 10 ways I could wear these pants.
“Fuck!” I took them off and decided they would be my summer of 2011 goal. If I could lose some more weight we would still be able to make our trip to the

beach! I even went a step further and decided these white pants paired with a bikini top, gauzy blouse, floppy hat and oversized glasses would be the ultimate

goal. Game on, White Pants!

Every time I slide open my closet, there they were…staring at me. Sitting next to the dress I bought a couple years ago.

Tonight I decided rather than looking like a scrub for work tomorrow I would do something other women have been doing for years, plan out my wardrobe.
The White Pants waved a polite hello and I nodded back. Oh what the hell, I was feeling a bit self deprecating and what would a little humiliation hurt?
I grabbed the White Pants and as I remembered the legs felt fine going up, the zipper went up and the button cinched just fine. I walked to the mirror and to

my utter disbelief; NO MUFFIN TOP! Not even a small Safeway sized muffin top!

Shea walked in as I was standing there with my jaw stretched all the way to the floor.
“NOOOOO!” I whined.
She looked at me confused. Then and there I did something I never thought I would be able to do with a pair of skinny jeans…I slid them off my hips without

unbuttoning them.

I still have a hard time seeing the weight loss. I know I am losing because my clothes are mostly baggy and I keep buying extra large only to get home and try

it on and it looks like I am wearing something from Mrs. Roper’s dresser.

The white pants that never got a chance to make it to the beach are now in a construction sized bag I have waiting to be taken to the goodwill store.
Kara will be so happy.

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29
Apr
Oh yeah, I’m going!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I got my official invite for my 20 year high school reunion.

I didn’t go to my 10 year reunion for various reasons.  The first being was I didn’t really like anyone I went to high school with.  The people that I wanted to

see were people I never lost contact with.  The second reason was that I had just had a very nasty divorce and brought nothing to the Reunion Table.
“And how have the last 10 years treated you, Kristine?”
“I had three kids, I lost my mind and had an affair and my husband and I just got a divorce.”  There was no way to put a spin on my life to make it sound any

better than what it was.
The day of the 10 year came around and I didn’t really care, nor did I feel like I was missing out on anything.

With Facebook I have reconnected with many of the people I went to school with and low and behold, I wasn’t the only one who went through shit in their life

and skipped that reunion.
There is something about the following 10 years that, in reality, weren’t any better, but gave me this amazing insight to how I view my life. I just don’t give a

fuck anymore.
“So Kristine, how has the last 10 years treated you?”
“I raised my 3 beautiful children, went to college…but never use my degree, Got married and help raise his two children, bounced around from lame job to

lame job, Found out my husband is a sneaky, cheating bastard, got a divorce, took up skydiving and hiking and I LOVE MY LIFE.”

There is the issue of my weight, that in the past kind of bothered me.   It no longer bothers me. Not because it’s rockin’ hot or anything. I just don’t give a

fuck anymore.
I finally figured out the pattern to my weight loss and gain. It has nothing to do with the food I eat or do not eat and it’s not measured on how much time I

spend in the gym.  My weight pattern is in direct relation to being a relationship.  I’m almost pretty certain that if I stopped eating all together and worked out

like Brad Pitt before a movie where his shirt comes off and I was in a relationship, it wouldn’t matter…I would manage to gain 15 lbs.
Now if I wasn’t in a relationship I could sit on the couch, covered in Dorito dust watching Tivo’ed episodes of American Pickers with an IV of Pepsi being

pumped into my system and actually LOSE weight.
So yes, for those of you that are paying attention.  Penis makes me fat.

That brings me around to, who is my plus 1 at this little shindig?
Yes, I could bring someone…just not the someone I am currently dating.  This is how the conversation would go:
“You want to go to my high school reunion?”
He would then calmly get up from the spot he is at, go into the back yard with a large machete and hack down some bamboo.  After doing so he would fashion

them into weapons and hand them to me.  “Here, shove these under my finger nails and take anything with a blunt end and hit the bamboo causing them to

rip my nails off. Do them one at a time please.  When we are done doing that, the water boiling on the stove can then be used to soak my ball sack.  If we have

time after that I thought a little water boarding would be fun.”
To say he’s not really big on anything that requires socializing with anyone other than myself or his children would be a massive understatement.
If I really wanted him there he would go.  This isn’t something I would ever require him to do. I’m saving up all these for something big, like if someday I

might need his liver or for him to make me a poptart.

So you might be asking yourself, if you have actually read this far, I thought she wasn’t in a relationship.
I am not in a relationship. I’m dating someone.
We broke up awhile ago and then he probably hit his head and realized he wanted to get back together.  We were together for about 47 minutes before we

realized that any form of commitment, which is not limited to people even using our name in the same sentence, was far beyond anything we could do.
To make things easier for others, when describing him I will refer to him as my boyfriend.  On those rare moments, a small kitten is strangled to death by a

python. I try not to do it very often for the love of those poor kittens.
I wish there was a term that was on some level between dating and relationship.  Like say, “we are in a Intimacy Exchange” and people would understand that

it’s not a booty call, because sometimes he will wash my socks when I am over at his house for more than a day. It’s more than dating because I no longer sit

by the phone wondering if he liked my dress and will call back for a follow up ‘date’ that will involve kissing on the front porch.   (he could care less what I

wear, as long as it doesn’t have too many buttons or complicated straps) (I don’t have a porch).  It’s not a relationship because if it was we would both break

out in hives and our eyeballs would explode.   You think I’m exaggerating right?  Once we tried the ‘Keep a drawer at the others house’ and the dresser

actually opened the window and flung itself out.  Now we just keep ‘bye-bye bags’ in the car.

The end result of the 20 year high school reunion is that I would like to go.  I’m not really certain why…I keep in better contact with people because of

Facebook and I actually really like these people I went to high school with now.  I think our kids made us better people.
At this point the conversations will go something like this, “ SoinSo, what was your single biggest accomplishment of your life?”  and 90% people will say,

“Raising my children.” And that will be cool.  The other 10% we can sit and talk to them about how they dodged the kid bullet and/or marriage train, take

notes and try to remember what it was like to actually have money, listen to music that we like, have anything saved on our Tivo’s that isn’t Glee or every

show ever produced by the Disney channel.

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26
Apr
The one in which I admit that I need a vacation.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Need is a strong word, but really want…as in want to badly my daughter’s hair is falling out and my eyes well up with tears when I think about being anywhere

that involves a painful trip to an airport where I will gladly put my bag in the overhead and slam my hip bone into every person on my way back to my seat.
Yes, that kind of vacation.
The kind where I am not taking pictures for someone else.  The kind where I don’t even bring a camera because no matter how many pictures I took, it

couldn’t capture the beauty of it, the enormity of it, the FEEL of it.

In the past I use to pull up ‘vacation deals’ and just pretend I was going.  Sometimes the pretending would go so far as buying something for the trip.  By the

way, I will SOMEDAY find a place I can wear the sequined top with a peacock on the front. Those damn Vegas deals get me every time. I then realize that if I

am going to Vegas I am going to come home broke as fuck and the trip in my head was much better than the actual trip I could have taken.
That does seem to be the end result. I take a mind vacation.  Once I went to Greece and lounged on the deck of my villa with a glass of wine in one hand and

fifty cent Harlequin romance I found at a thrift store in town.  It was the best mind vacation I have ever taken.

I’ve only been on two vacations that I wasn’t ‘working’.  Both trips were to Maui.  Both trips included a ridiculous amount of scuba diving.  It’s going to sound

sad, but if I could book a vacation (ha! Right!) I would probably go back and do it all over again.
Get to the airport with the butterflies and anticipation of seeing the beauty of Maui would be the most amazing feeling.  When you depart the plane and it

smells of plumeria fill the whole terminal.
My favorite part of the trip, you would guess would be standing out on the beach looking out at the ocean. It’s my second favorite part.  The first part is

walking into the dive shop and buying my air tanks.
There is something about the smell of the neoprene and the buzz of knowing it won’t be long before you have all your gear on and walking down that beach or

back rolling off the side of a boat.

Time’s up for this mind vacation.  Time to get back to reality where I am wondering if I will have enough money to make sure my daughter has enough for her

senior yearbook.

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24
Apr
We freaking MADE IT!!!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


We freaking MADE IT!!!, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
I wish I could bottle this happiness.

The first part of the week was a little rough for me. By Thursday it was all better again. Tabitha, Marina, Kara and I hit the trail after work and it cleared a lot of

the bullshit I was working through.

Thursday night , Jeremiah wanted to sleep with his auntie and mommy so we made this queen size bed fit us all. I had little feet on my back and kicking me in

the head all night, but having him there is always fun. Same story on Friday night. We sat in the backyard with a fire in the pit and talked all night before we

found our way back up. I am loving having them here every other weekend!!

Saturday morning we got our shit together and headed out to the trail. This one KICKED. OUR. ASS.
I am always in awe of my own life when I am out there. When my training kicks in I know that I am on the right path. I heard Dan yell down from an upper

switchback as I was running down, “You go, Kristine!” I have decided what I want to do and I know that physically there is a lot of work I need to do and

probably a couple of years of training before I am PHYSICALLY ready to do it. I know MENTALLY there is a lot more work and with more training and SO

MUCH trial and error.
I walked into Fleet Feet on Thursday and finally said what I want to do out loud for the first time. I said to the woman, “I have a goal and I will need a lot of

coaching. Can you help?” She walked me through the store and showed me the trail running shoes and the keys to be able to do what I have put my mind to.

“Start with a 5k.” she suggested after I told her that I just got off the couch last September. “I’ve done that. The time wasn’t that impressive.” Not really caring

what my time was, I finished it and that’s all I wanted to do. “Don’t worry about your time. Next do a 10k. Then a half. Then a full. Do a few of those.” We talked

about how the street running isn’t going to help with my goal, but in the process of doing them I will learn my hydration level and I will fail over and over

again and in those failures I will figure out what works. “Stay on the trails when you can, stay off the streets unless you’re a few weeks out from a street half or

full. Figure out what you can eat, can’t eat, how much you’ll need. Try all the Gu and after you’ve done a few of these, you’ll have it figured out. READ! READ!

READ! Then do a 50 mile race. Then do another. Fail and figure out what works for you.”
I’ve told her that I have read all I could find. I read about the failures. I read about the success stories too.
What I learned most is the support system of getting through is what is important.
So for the last month every time my feet hit the trail I have a mantra, “Western States 100 Endurance Run…physically and mentally getting ready!” Every step,

every stop, every sprint uphill is working towards that goal.

Now it’s Easter and my body is recovering from the hardest 4.4 miles I have ever done. No, WS100 isn’t something I am going to do within the next couple of

years, but by the time I turn 45. Shhh, I’m going to sucker Tabitha and Dan into doing it too!

What a beautiful life I have. I hope for everyone this Easter 2011 that you make your life everything you never imagined it could be. That was the thought I had

as the world opened it up to the beauty of the river yesterday. “I did this, I made this MY life. I changed my whole life, my body and my mind…and it’s only

the beginning.”

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22
Apr
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
“I think I need to believe that it works. Love. couple-hood. Partnerships.
The idea of when people come together, they stay together. I have to take that to bed with me at night, even if I’m going to bed alone.”
Watching Ally McBeal on Netflix.

…and that is a McBealism.

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21
Apr
THANK BABY JESUS!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Tomorrow marks my Me-aversary! It’s been 2 years of being ME again!  Doing this all by myself with no help. THANK YOU GOD for all the blessings you have

put in my path in the last two years.I always forget and then I am reminded on 4/20 that just two days later douchebag walked out.  THANK YOU SWEET BABY

JESUS that he did.  I got my notification from GoDaddy. FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY, hopephotographers.com expired.   :D

Now I am working on weeding out even more.   Here is to the next two years with unbelievable goals and accomplishments!!

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19
Apr
My BFF is a dork.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Wendi: i don’t hike
Kristine: you will
Kristine : ONE FUCKING HIKE will not kill you
Kristine : unless of course there is a mountain lion, in which case, don’t hike…RUN.
Wendi: sounds dangerous
Wendi: think i’ll stick to skydiving

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19
Apr
The Wishlist begins!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
SOMEDAY.

I want this so bad it makes me teeth hurt.

SOON.

This is what I am going to need…and quickly.

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18
Apr
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Best weekend this year!

During the day I found the best recipe for chicken wings and allowed Lester to execute it.  He altered it a little to add a little more flavor. He nailed it! It was so

good.
While it was cooking he brought the music out and made me a bachelor vase from a 2 liter coke bottle because I cut back some of the calla lilys that grow like

crazy on the side of the house.
A glass of wine and a few beers and it made for a great night.  I can’t wait for summer now!

Saturday I called up the hiking crew and got them gathered for a 9.7 mile hike.  (read on Hiking With the Ex)  it took a lot longer than I thought it was going to.

I was survivor hiking on the way back up. I had a REAL Pepsi from Taco Bell and an orange slushie from Sonic running through my head.  If I could just get

back up that damn fucking 4 miles with some grace and dignity I would reward myself with both of those.
I rocked the four miles going back up. We ran and ran and ran…UPFUCKINGHILLS to get back to the car.

That was, hands down, the best damn Pepsi I have ever had in my life.

I got back to the house and climbed into the hot tub and got to have another awesome meal of stuffed pork chops, asparagus and twice backed potatoes from

the grill.

Sunday the girls went out with Tabitha and found their dresses for senior prom. I took little man and we picked up Patrick to make sure he had his tux and the

girls had their books for school.  Accomplished much? SHA!
Kara’s dress is unconventional and very far from what she wore for her junior prom. It’s more relaxed.  Marina and her mom picked out this beautiful white

dress that looked sooo good on her.  When we all got home they both modeled the dresses and I got excited for prom for them.
It’s weird being on the ‘girl’ side of prom.   With Tyler it was ‘get tux, get corsage, get flowers for the mother of the date. done.’

As always the weekend ended with watch Lester on the ice for his hockey league game.

I feel like I crammed a lot into this weekend. Spending time with friends and family.  Top 10 weekend of the year so far!

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05
Jul
Protected: going home…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
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30
Jun
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


monterey 5 20110625, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
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20
Jun
Penny…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
172 miles on 4 gallons of gas.

She may not be pretty, have shocks and struts, have any kind of cushion in the drivers seat, a stereo with more than a cassette player and speakers that make

everyone sound like Lawrence Welk.   She may have a windshield wiper bar that will randomly turn on the wipers if the air conditioner blows on it too hard.

She can be passed by a moped if she is running said air conditioner.
It might take about 15 minutes longer than most cars to get up a hill, is held together with bread ties, hockey tape and bubble gum and has a side mirror that

at any moment will fly right the hell off…

She may not be pretty, but she gets some REALLY great gas mileage!

Suck it Prius!

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12
Jun
Please help my Step Son…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Sgt Dennis Tackett and his wife Elizabeth need our help to bring attention to their legal case.

Please review the information about his case and send your thoughts and suggestions to the Colorado Springs Gazette at: opinion@gazette.com

Our objective is to bring attention to the local TV and newspaper so that our collective support can influence the civilian court to either show some

consideration for Sgt Tackett’s challenges from his three deployments or to refer him directly to the Veterans Treatment Court for special sentencing.

From our emails to the local newspaper, we are hopeful the media exposure will help the District Attorney and the court to allow Dennis to receive probation

with community service with Purple Star Veterans and Families. He would provide outreach services to Veterans and their families in the greater Colorado

Springs area and our organization would provide the necessary monitoring of his time and contribution.



From Sgt Dennis Tackett:

To Whom It May Concern:

                  Before I tell you my story, I would like to let you know how much I appreciate your concern and support for myself and my family.  I want to let you

know in the clearest way possible what has happened in the past and present to lead me to this place and to let you know the steps that I have taken and am

continuing to take to heal myself and to prevent any future incidents.

                  I graduated high school not knowing exactly what I wanted to do with my life.  I played around with some college courses and worked with the state

department of California and had no direction and decided that the Army was a good idea and wanted to see the world.  I wanted to fight for our country and

wanted to be one of those brave soldiers that you see in the movies.  Two weeks after boot camp ended, I came down on orders for Afghanistan and was,

definitely, about to see the world.

My time spent in Afghanistan (1 year) was a learning experience and I started to suffer from major depression.  I was in charge of detainee operations and

having these war criminals constantly watching my every move began to get very uncomfortable after more time that passed.  I was in a heightened state of

awareness all the time and it makes it very hard for me to feel comfortable now around more than a few people.  I even got to spend my 21st birthday with the

detainees.                                  

I met my wife during this deployment while online and we began a friendship.  I would call her often and felt like I could open up to her about what I was

going through.  I returned home a few days before Christmas and met her for the first time in person.  We got married a few months later in Texas, while I was

at K9 school, and moved to Fort Carson, CO shortly after that.  She got pregnant with our first daughter and things started to stabilize a little bit with my mood

because I was so busy being a new dog handler and with shopping for baby stuff and our new life together.  Four months after my daughter was born, I was

on orders to leave for Iraq.  I felt like, once again, I was missing everything important back home.  I felt like I was either going to die or kill myself before the

deployment was over because of my depression.

Once returning from Iraq, my wife got pregnant with our second daughter and I was on orders to deploy again for a third (year-long) deployment.  I left 2

weeks before my baby was born and had to leave my wife and two-year-old, by themselves, to have my second child.  Thank goodness a few friends stepped

in to help her and left me with some assurance that she would be looked after. Two months into this deployment, my wife’s father died and I was left, again,

completely unable to help with anything back home in the midst of another deployment.  I was feeling more and more disconnected with Civilian life and in

my own bubble.  I started to distance myself from everyone to try to cope with what was going on.

I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2007 and began seeking help at that time but things have gotten progressively worse.  After getting back from my 3rd combat

tour (36 months), I started seeking more help, aggressively, because I was having an internal battle with extreme anger and depression and didn’t want

anything to happen because of it.  I have now had Intermitant Explosive Disorder, Insomnia, depression, and an inability to adjust to a new environment

added to this list. It is as simple as this, in Afghanistan, I was a child and wasn’t able to process emotions that I was having and, honestly, I am still not really

able to process them very well without having some sort of meltdown.  The other two combat deployments were just icing on the cake.  Being away from the

wife and kids, missing them grow, missing the connection between myself and everyday life is something that I am working through.  I am currently in

therapy sessions and anger management and army substance abuse program and was doing all of this except for substance abuse before this incident

occurred.

Now, here is what happened leading up to the criminal charges.  I had had a very painful surgery about a week and a half before this occurred.  I ran out of

pain meds before that night and was drinking a little too heavily and trying to deal with the pain by numbing it with alcohol.  I had a friend come over to play

video games, after my wife and kids had gone to bed.  He told me the events that occurred that night, after I was released from jail and it went like this

(because I honestly don’t remember much from that evening due to intoxication):  He said that I wanted to punch him in the face.  He didn’t want me to punch

him in the face and said that I said, “Come on…you can punch me first and then I will punch you back.”  He said that he didn’t like that idea and suggested

that I punch another acquaintance of ours.  He said that I said, “I don’t know where he lives and can’t.”  He said that he knew where the guy lived and

proceeded to drive me over there.  He said that I knocked on the guy’s door, the guy answered the door, and I, then, punched him in the face and walked back

to the car.  He dropped me off at home and the cops came to my house at 5 a.m. the next morning and I was still out of it and arrested me and booked me and

I sat in jail for 5 days.  I thought to myself, what is going to happen to my family?  Is the guy okay (and I wanted to call him and apologize but a restraining

order had been put in place for me not to contact him)?  How did I get to this point after all the help I had been seeking?

I can tell you that these feelings don’t just go away.  It is constant battle to even walk into a grocery store or to pull into a gas station without scanning every

detail of my surroundings constantly.  I have to have my back against a wall so that I know that no one is behind me.  I drive my wife crazy because I will have

to leave crowded areas at a moment’s notice because I start getting angry and uncomfortable and highly agitated.  I rarely leave my house because it is hard

for me to deal with all of these emotions all the time and would rather be around my family because that is the one place I feel secure.

 I, also, believe that the fact that I am physically disabled as well has an effect on my mental state.  My knees are equal to that of a 50-year-old mans and I have

no arches in my feet, both of which happened due to all of the physical strain I endured while meeting the requirements of my job in the military.  It hurts just

to walk around on a daily basis (from arthritis and complete lack of cartilage) which leaves me without the ability to release any pent up aggression through

exercise.  I can never play sports again without suffering for a week afterwards in pain and that was a huge way that I used to deal with stress in the past.

The prosecutor is charging me with Felony Assault and Felony Burglary (because my hand might or might not have crossed the threshold of the house) and I

was told that I met all of the qualifications to go to the Soldier’s Trauma Court.  The prosecutor is refusing to release the case to the Soldier’s Trauma Court

and the lowest he is willing to go in a plea agreement is Felony Menacing with A Deadly Weapon (my fist) and 2 years of probation.  I have no priors (not even

a speeding ticket) in the civilian courts and my record is spotless on the military side with many awards won over the years.  I know I deserve to be punished

for what happened but I have pleaded for a deferred sentence with probation and community service which, basically, allows my record to go clean after

completing all requirements set forth by the court.  If convicted of a felony, I am looking at a possible dishonorable discharge and the loss of my ability to get

hired to do anything that I am qualified to do and this will make it very hard to support my family.

In closing, I just want to say that the mind of a soldier is a complex thing.  There are so many factors that go into what makes us tick the way we tick.  The

Army has done the best it can to take care of me but there are some things that just take time to heal and can’t be fixed overnight.  I feel that the prosecutor

isn’t allowing soldiers to go through the proper channels to recover and is trying them as average citizens without taking into account what has happened to

them (mentally and physically through war).  I am hearing more and more about this being a common thing and am asking for some support, not only for

myself, but for others suffering the same treatment.  Once deployed, a soldier is never the same and when you’re in an unstable environment for so long and

so many times, it is impossible to not be unstable yourself afterwards.  Healing takes time and work and I feel that something should be done to protect

soldiers and educate people working in the judicial system to better protect soldiers in this sensitive state and not to let them get away with things, but to

understand that they aren’t necessarily criminals but that they are truly sick and need to be rebuilt from the ground up.  Thank you and God Bless.                  

                                                   

                                                                                                                                                -Dennis Tackett, Jr.

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10
Jun
Protected: Whoo hoo!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
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08
Jun
He's noticed…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Grad night/Grad party, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Lester said he noticed that I am using his name more on Random and Odd.
I'm actually shocked he still reads this thing. Most of my readers just reply through facebook.

So yes, I am using his name more and more. It's because it's taken me awhile to get brave enough to mention him because of fear of things going to shit. To

be honest, i'm still a little skittish. A little. Not too much.

This last weekend was an amazing weekend for both of us. A huge part of my family was in town for Kara's graduation and they had a chance to just hang out

with him. Here is what I heard:

"I didn't think it was going to work out. He's been through a lot and…*insert frustrated sigh* he didn't deserve that shit. I'm just glad he has you now and you

can show him what it is like to be really loved by a woman." – my mother

"I like him. I like him a lot. He loves you to death, and he's a good man in my book" -my brother

"I love the way he looks at you, Kristine. He really thinks the world of you. You two are good together." -Sister in law.

"Mother fucker can't pick music to save his damn life. Pat Boone? IS HE FUCKING WITH ME!? IS HE! ASHLEY, COME DANCE WITH ME!" -Kathy

"Please Tell Lester I love him and I am sorry for being an ass. You don't think he took me seriously do you?. I don't think i'm ever going to drink again." -

Kathy after the Coronas wore off.

"I talked to him more in two hours than I did that jerk you were married to." -Dad last week.

"Look at your man, Kristine. Damn…good for him, GOOD FOR YOU LESTER!" -Tabitha

"What a good man. He's…you…oh Kristine, I just love him." -mom, again and again.

I kept looking over at him manning the grill on Saturday and he was shooting the shit with my ex husband, friends, family and so at ease. He caught me at

one point and smiled over at me. He doesn't really get how much those small moments mean to me. I'm terrified to love someone as much as I love him…

again.
He came up behind me at one point in the evening and hugged me and said, "I love you." I'm a sucker for those words, and I crave them. For once I didn't

need to hear them though, he has shown me over and over again how much he loves me, adores and loves my family (by beating my mother at cribbage). He

was and continues to be my strength, sounding board, my best friend.

This post will probably be the end of our relationship because he hates any attention pointed at him, but he notices every single thing and I don't want him to

think that for a single moment that I take him for granted and all the small things he does to show me he cares about me. I do though, I do sometimes take it

for granted, but I am lucky enough to have another friend that points out when I am being stupid and sets me straight, (thank you Tabitha)
I know, he's nothing like DB and THANK GOD he's not. There are fears there and he has them too. We just have to look at OUR time together for what it is, OUR

relationship and not judge each others actions on what other people did to us. He has his story and I have mine.

Tonight I took his daughter out for a run and she said, "If, GOD FORBID, anything happened between you and Dad and you weren't together, I would want you

still in my life." I told her, "He better not break up with me again. I will kill him." She laughed and said, "I'll kill him first if he does."

It feels good to love and be loved.

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06
Jun
Kara’s Graduation
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Kara’s Graduation, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
This has been the busiest week of the year so far. I haven’t had a second to update HWTE from our hike from two weekends ago.

This week Shea and Dan got their black belts after much testing. Alyx promoted out of middle school and is now a freshman in high school and the time

sucker was Kara graduating from high school.
I had intended to write a blog to her about how proud I was of her, but I ended up putting into an email to her for her to read by herself.

Kara’s graduation went off without a hitch. Her uncle and aunt from Oregon came to witness the miracle. My mom and sister joined in. I was very happy to

have Lester and his daughter there as well. Kara’s brother, Ryan came from Redding to be there too.
On my way back to my spot in line I ran into DB’s parents. Never in a million years did I think I would ever see them again, but I was surprised when his dad

walked up to me and gave me a big hug. I said, “Hi dad. How are you?!” for only him to hear. I have his mom a hug and we talked for a minute or two and as I

was saying goodbye, his dad pulled me into a big hug and I said, “I love and miss you so much…” and he said, “me too.” It was already an emotional day for

me, but seeing Dad, just melted my heart. I could tell he was genuine and his hugs were big and strong. That man is pretty awesome. It’s a shame his son

didn’t turn out anything like him. Heading back over to where Lester was in line waiting and I thought, “nope, glad he turned out the way he did, because look

how lucky I am for how things are for me now.” And I was enveloped in a big hug by the man who loves me so very much. No regrets.

We all found our seats to watch Kara and Marina walk across the stage. Tabitha had to take one side because her daughter was walking down one way and I

had to take the other because that is where Kara was walking from. It was strange to not be together to share this monumental occasion seeing that we have

been there for each other for the last couple of years without fail for the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Kara was at the very last of the line of people

walking down the track and I started to wonder if I was on the wrong side, but she spotted me from forever away and started waving at me. My heart swelled

with pride and I took a million pictures as she smiled bigger than I have ever seen her smile in her life. I sat through the speeches and decided to see if I

could get closer so I could get a picture of her crossing the stage. The lighting was bad and I had to fiddle with the ISO to be able to get the shot I wanted, but

I had no idea where she was sitting in the crowd of people. The back of everyone’s head looked the same with the blue caps covering them. Out of the blue,

Kara turned around and spotted me again in a totally new area and waved to me with that big smile on her face still. The tears came again as I tried to get a

picture of her before she stood up to get her diploma. I cried when she made her way to the front of the line, I cried when I saw her climbing the stairs and

when they called out her name to get her diploma I had thought I had cried all I could, but a sob escaped and the tears really came down. The hats came off

and into the air and I tried to get some composure before I had to go find her in the crush of people. It didn’t take long because as soon as I started looking

she came running up to me, “MOM!” and I gave her the biggest, tearful hug and I told her, “Be proud of this moment, this day and all that you have done to

get here, because I am so proud of you!!” She cried a little too.
After I let her go, her grandma and dad got their hugs in and I had her lead me through the crowd so I could find my other daughter and give her hugs.

I was a mess as I waited and watched everyone take pictures. Lester made his way to the field and without having to ask, he pulled me into another hug, called

me a cry baby but said he was proud of me. I soaked up as much love as I could out of that hug before he started to bitch about being hungry. We all were as

a matter of fact. The night was over.

The next morning we began preparing for the BBQ Graduation Party. The one where it RAINED ALL DAY LONG…yes, IN JUNE…IN CALIFORNIA.
Now this is where I am going to thank Judy, my wonderful sister in law for all that she did. She decorated, she got all the food ready, she busted her ass

making sure that Kara had all that she needed to make this day go off without a hitch. Without her there it would have been just a get together…Judy made it a

full blown Party and I can’t thank her enough…over and over and over.
I thank my sister for the awesome cake she got and for all that she did to make sure Kara had a good day.
I thank Lester for standing at the grill for hours and hours and cooking enough food to feed an army…and there was an army!
Thank you Rhonda for bringing the sides. Yummy!
This BBQ started at 1pm and didn’t end until midnight. Kara had left at 9pm because she thought it would be over and had made plans with friends. Marina

left earlier in the day, but came back when her friends weren’t as much fun as her family.
I can look back on that day and say it was one of the best times we have all had together in a long time. We sang, we danced, we sang more, we danced more.

Everyone is asking what Kara is going to do. She’s going to work for 6 months and then she is moving with her boyfriend for a short time and HOPEFULLY

coming back. I told her I needed 6 months with her before she off and left me.
I would like a year. Just sayin’.
She’s just so much like me, it’s hard to hold on to a bird who has wings and wants to fly.

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26
May
Uncomfortable
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


hiking exes!, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Last weekend I finally had my break through with distance. It of course revolved around poorly marked trails and push of my fellow trail runners.
The weekend before last we did 15 miles and after the initial burn I had nothing to recover from. My body let me know that 15 miles with moderate elevation

gain and loss was okay and we could do it again.
We decided we needed to push further and we planned at 17 or 18 mile trail run. As par to any trail we have never been on, we got lost and took the longest

possible path back to where we knew the trail linked up again.
This is only partially my fault. I wanted to take Pointed Rock Trail (more commonly known as Training Hill or K2) because I wanted to be able to finally put to

rest any apprehension to hills. After K2, I have absolutely no apprehension what so ever. That hill that is a mile straight up at a 30% grade pretty much kicked

my ass and handed it back and made me run another 24 miles after it.

After I learned how to skydive on my own I felt like there was pretty much nothing I couldn’t do. The exception to that was to run a mile without stopping, even

if I was being chased by zombies or a serial killer. During movies where the character is running through streets or the forest to get away from being hacked

to into a hundred pieces I would think to myself, ‘yeah, I would be the first one they knocked off.’ And I would always hope that it wouldn’t be after running to

escape. Kill me off while sitting on the couch or making out in a car. I’m totally okay with that.
I would also watch those people just running and running and think, “that’s retarded.” Oh wait, I still do that. Last weekend I figured out how they do it without

stopping every few hundred feet and yelling, “FUCK ME THIS IS STUPID AND I HATE IT!”
Because of what I learned I finally was able to tell Tabitha that she is going to run in the Western States 100 mile endurance run. She looked at me like I was

little crazy and then she let it sink in. “Okay.” I told her my time frame and what we would need to do to qualify. She took it all in without really saying too

much.
Yesterday while at work I got an email from her. She had sent me the information for a 50 mile ultra that I had already researched long ago when I secretly

decided to do this. “We can do this and we will need it to qualify.” The fact that my friend looked it up and started the researching just made my heart swell

with pride. What I proposed to my friend takes months and months of training without fail, rain/scorching sun/hail and snow…we have to train, we have to

devote up to 20 miles a weekend on those trails in the beginning and then push forward to 40 and 50 a weekend, we have to take on K2 or an equivalent every

weekend. EVERY WEEKEND. This is just absolutely crazy what I suggested and she said, “okay” and she started the research to get us there. I felt like I had

asked her to give me her kidney or bone marrow…or her 3 and 5th child. She has truly become a friend that will walk through fire with me. Literally she will

because we will soon do The Tough Mudder.

Success doesn’t meet you at where you’re comfortable. I was uncomfortable for many years, but I didn’t use that to push me forward to a new place, this

place. Thank you Tabitha for walking this path with me, being my cheerleader and being uncomfortable as long as it takes before we are successful. You’re

not alone my friend, I’m right here with you!

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21
May
The book must have been HUGE ;)
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
My dad was telling Lester about a book on “Figuring out women”.  They were in the front seat yuckin’ it up.
He looks back and says, “I got you about half figured out.”
I raise my eyebrow, “What have you got figured out? give me an example.”
He says, “Oh no, i’m not telling you!”
I ask why and both my dad and Lester say, “because you’ll change it then!”
Then he said something that made me laugh, “Right now I have a chance that you’ll just change something I haven’t figured out yet.”
I didn’t tell him, but he probably has me more figured out than I have him.   Sometimes he just does shit that makes me go, “who are you?!”

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14
May
15 mile run!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


P5130227, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.

With all that has been going on it’s been a couple of weeks since we have been able to make it out on the trail for a long run. We picked a ten mile trail for

today. It’s one we had never been on.
Not knowing what to expect we filled the Camelbaks and packed a small lunch. The book said it would be a seven hour hike so we went prepared.
Our intent was to get on the road by 6am to avoid the full sun canyon part of the hike. We didn’t get up there until 9am.
We all needed a quick breakfast and our Starbucks. The drive out there was further than we had expected.
Pulling into the trail head and getting out of the warm car we knew once we got to running we would heat up so we removed our sweats and got moving. The

first couple miles of the trail was breathtaking.

I realized a few miles in, sometimes it’s good to run. Sometimes you need to slow down and hike it and enjoy where you are.

8 miles into the hike we found our lunch spot and took a break. I had already shed the sweatshirt, the wicking shirt and was down to the sports bra. It’s bad

enough that I have the funniest farmer tan where my socks meet my ankles, I didn’t need the sleeve farmer tan to match.

Around 10 miles, after an exceptionally grueling run up a hill I was certain I wouldn’t make it up without stopping, I looked around at all that I have done. This

wasn’t my life 2 years ago. There is no way anyone would have ever been able to convince me that in two short years I would be trail running with complete

confidence that I could do whatever amount of mileage you put in front of me. I was broken 2 years ago and now I am stronger than I have ever been. I have

more hope for a happy life than I ever thought possible.

Tabitha is my biggest cheerleader. We worked our way up another set of hill after lunch and she ran along side of me on an exceptionally wider trail than we

are use to. “You go girl. You got this. Run!” and I did.
I kept telling myself, “I won’t stop until my legs tell me it’s time.” My mind has a way of stopping me before my body is ready.

Tomorrow Shea turns 13 years old. I never thought she would have a birthday that wasn’t marred by the happenings of 2 years ago, but tonight as I sat in the

backyard of the man who truly loves me and we talked and talked and talked some more…I realized that day didn’t define me. That day still belongs to my

daughter and this year her gift is a stronger mother who has allowed love in her heart and life.
She has an amazing role model in me and her father who can run 15 miles together without killing each other. She has a ‘step mom’ in Tabitha who loves her

so much.

My night ended in a good dinner, a long soak in the hot tub and great conversation.
Tomorrow I will go get my TEENAGE daughter and take her shopping. Her family will take her to dinner and we will give our blessings for such a beautiful life.

*15 miles because we parked 2.5 miles up the trail head.

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24
Aug
just another day in paradise….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Using the D300…it must be love!!, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
It’s already August. This whole year has seemed to be divided into nothing but weekends and where I will be on that weekend.
The best part of that is, every weekend has been about where I want to be. Yes, that sounds horribly selfish, but I can say this is the first year in my

documented life that I have been selfish with MY time.
Before children you can spend your weekends under a pile of down blankets, watching nothing but craptastic television and eating day old pizza. After

children it seems like it’s about birthday parties, swim dates, sports, shopping for the birthday party, swim dates and getting sporting gear. If the joy of being

a parent was so wonderful I wouldn’t fully understand why people do this to themselves. Sleep all weekend vs. yelling at child to clean their room. It’s kind of

a no brainer. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, your daughter looks at you and says, “cooopins” and you burst out laughing and know there is no

other place you would rather be….and broke…broke as fuck.
I had a facebook discussion with my boyfriend’s daughter who complained that we never plan anything on the day she has off. There is a reason for this.

Saturday is the only day we truly have ‘off’. Sunday I have trail running and he has hockey. I pointed out that most of the time the planning isn’t a ‘we’ thing,

it’s a ‘me’ thing. If he does the planning it’s because he has seen I have reached the boiling point of how many times I can watch Bourne Identity or a rerun of

Indiana Jones that comes on TV just to annoy me.
This weekend was a prime example of my need to get the fuckity fuck out of town. I didn’t care we ended up as long as he spoke periodically throughout the

trip and that we could take some pictures of something other than his backyard.
Two cups of coffee in the morning and I was ready to go. I put the remaining coffee in a travel mug for the trip.
“Great, we will be stopping every few miles so you can pee.”
He was right, but there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to let him know that. “I’ll be fine.” We weren’t out the door and I could feel the urgency to go to the

bathroom. “Gotta grab something, be right back.” He was on to me though…I can’t be sneaky.
Once we hit the mountains and curves I started to get really uncomfortable. Staring down old PG&E logging roads I was thinking to myself, “I would pee

there. I could pee there. Yep, there’s another place I would pee.”
He graciously stopped when he could see that I couldn’t hold it any longer. The bouncing in my seat and clawing at the door was the big indicator.

The ocean was beautiful and the day was the perfect day to sink our feet in the sand. There are times when I can tell he’s happy and when he took off his

shoes and headed for the water I knew he was truly happy. The drive was so worth seeing him completely relaxed. I dug out the D300 and captured some

shots, but realized I was doing the one thing I hated the most, not living in the moment. I handed him my baby and told him to take pictures because I was

going to run in the water and dig around through the rocks and see what I could find. For those of you that know me, Yes…I handed him MY D300 and walked

away. Yeah…I know. I love him THAT much.

The drive back went fast and when we got home I felt very calm. We still had a day left of our weekend and I was planning on getting up early and getting in a

trail run and he was going to dick around in his shop making cool stuff. I got home early enough on Sunday to watch him put together a wind chime from the

stuff we had gathered on the beach the day before.

Things are finally getting easier for us…and it’s about fucking time. ;)

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23
Aug
8th Grade- Shea. 9th Grade- Alyx
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


8th Grade- Shea. 9th Grade- Alyx, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
I forgot to post this to R&O.

Here you go! Growing up too damn fast.

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18
Aug
Upcoming …
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Untitled, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Summer is officially over my daughters. Shea started 8th grade and Alyx entered high school as a 9th grader this year. In 2003 I had 5 kids standing out on

the lawn to get that ‘first day of school’ picture and now in 2011 I only have two left.
Kara bolted out the door on the girl’s first day of school to get in the picture even though she graduated last year.

With the summer coming to a grinding halt I got bummed out. I only have a few weekends left before Kara leaves for Virginia. The sun is still shining so I

came up with a few things I want to do.
That said, I have a new huge tent my dad gave me and all my gear sitting there begging to get used and so I am going to do just that. My coworkers had a

camping trip ‘kinda’ planned and I invited my friend Matt to go along with me. He’s at a place in his life where he’s up for doing fun stuff and he needs a

wingman to keep him out of trouble. Who better than me to take him on a trip with a bunch of married women and limited access to the outside world. I could

see him trying to wiggle out of the commitment he made to go…until I changed the plans. This will be BrokeAsHell Camping Trip 2011. I scrapped the idea of

going with co-workers and asked if my friend Bonnie and her kids want to meet out at a local lake for a weekend of living off the land. By living off the land I

mean having PB&J and soda for 2 straight days.

My sister is egging me on for a few more hiking trips up in her area. She was telling the woman at her gym about the Lassen Hike and how it was ‘hard’. I

laughed and said, “Actually, it was really easy…” and told her I would research the others she is looking into to make sure she’s not getting in over her head.

She is the one who made me fall in love with the outdoors so it’s very special to be able to spend this time with her.

With all that I have planned for every weekend until the end of the year…I think the weekends need ONE more day to them.

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16
Aug
She made me laugh. Not a lot of people can do that.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
The IT guy shares an office with our office manager and the HR lady, so when I ran in to his office and said, “Betty is down! she’s sick! there is something

wrong with her, QUICK! come back and look at her!!” the HR lady thought that Betty was an employee.

“What’s wrong?”  She looked concerned.
“I don’t know, she went all blue.”  I then saw the deep concern on the HR ladies face and decided to let her know that Betty is my computer.
“You named your computer, Betty?”
The IT guy, not seeming to concerned with my current blue screen of death situation sauntered on past me, “She names everything.”

The HR lady seemed intrigued by my naming of objects.  “Why Betty?”
I then started to sing the song, “Black Betty” by Ram Jam with full guitar sounds and head banging.  She looked at me as if she were truly trying to remember

the song, like it was just riiiight there in her memory banks, “nope…sing a few more lines.”
That’s when I saw it.  Our conservative, adorable, little HR lady has an evil streak a mile wide.
“You know exactly what song i’m talking about!!”

She just smiled and turned back to her computer. “Yeah, just trying to see if I could get you to keep singing.”

I liked her before, but I think I love her now.

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15
Aug
The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I know we’ve only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the

second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see

your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming

like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on

into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you

tomorrow if you want to see it.

– Happy Monday everyone!!

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14
Aug
I did it…again!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I did it…again!, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
August 13th 2011

Kathy had told me after a mighty fine buzz around new year that she wanted to climb Mt. Lassen. It was on her bucket list.
So back in January I began hiking to prepare for that climb. When I was 13 and again when I was 14 I had climbed up to the peak and I complained the whole

hike up and probably the whole way down. The amount of ‘sore’ was off the charts and I swore I would never do it again. Only stupid people would make that

hike willingly.

I made that hike willingly yesterday.

We all met at the gate at 8am and we made it to the trailhead at 8:30. The climb from the trailhead to the peak is roughly 2,000 feet. It’s a 2.5 mile climb to the

top.
My brother, Michael isn’t the person you would guess would take a day off work to this, but he did and he brought his nephew and his friend. My sister and I

were so excited to have him there with us…even though on the first leg of the hike he got us lost. All the reviews I had read stated, “it’s impossible to get

lost”. These people do not share my DNA. We ended up mountain scaling as we were certain the trail was just a little ‘over grown’. I went with the flow until we

reached a point we were so high up you could actually see the actual trail. We turned around and started our slide back down the mountain.

An old Shingletown friend, Bonnie made the drive from Sacramento. She was one of the first people to sign up to go. Many people said they would be able to

make it, but as it got closer to the date I got a handful of ‘I can’t make it…’ with family plans and one that couldn’t make it because he couldn’t get his green

card for the visit. We were all okay with it because it originally was just my sister and I going together and whoever else can make it was just a bonus. My

brother brought his nephew and his nephew brought a friend (we called him billy goat because he made the hike to the top, turned around and found us half

way and walked back up…all in army fatigues and an awkward survival gear satchel)
Kathy’s friend Darla came and she brought her niece, Lindsey. Kara and Alyx made the hike with me to the top and Alyx did a fine impression of the 14 year

old version of me; complaining all the way to the top and all the way down. Kara pulled it out after a mile, she decided that she was going to do this and do it

with grace. She took over carrying the heavy camelback from Alyx and was motivating others on the way up. I was so proud of her!!
My dad and Lester puttered around the park with Ben while we all made this hike.

I’m proud of my sister for having her new year’s resolutions and a bucket list. Because of her passion to do something she put a lot of things in motion that

changed a few people’s lives. I started hiking to simply prepare to make this hike more graceful than when I was a kid. Because of this, I got Dan and Tabitha

hiking too. Three people are stronger because of her resolution and my two daughters can say they climbed a ‘mountain’. This is just the beginning for me.

We already have plans for our next big hike.

It was a beautiful day, a beautiful night and an all around perfect weekend.

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10
Aug
being a passenger…it’s all in the hips.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I went on a motorcycle ride after work last night. I was told that I would need to change from my shorts and into a pair of jeans, for safety.  I was looking for a

shirt to wear and I was told, ‘You have that little tank top with the spaghetti straps.’    Just because I would be riding on the back of a Harley, doesn’t mean I

needed to LOOK like I was some Harley chick and I went with a loose fitting white t-shirt.

This was my second time on the back of his motorcycle. The first time I was in horrible amounts of back pain, but I was also in a crazy place in my head

where the thought of doing something dangerous overrode that pain.  Riding on the back of Harley is much different than what I was use to being a passenger

on, which was a crotch rocket.  When I was 18 years old we didn’t have to wear a helmet, I wore short shorts, tank top and my white rebok hightops.  I was

screaming ‘preppy bitch’ in every possible way.  Now I am older , not only did I want to wear full body armor with chain mail, I wanted a seat belt.

Being a passenger on this different type of motorcycle I finally got some of those unanswered questions I have always wondered about.

1. Why do those Harley women wear small tank tops?
The answer I came up with after being the back for 5 minutes:  It’s fucking hotter than HELL.  My thoughtful and stylish choice of ‘lose fitting white tshirt’

wasn’t a good one because as soon as the wind kicked up I couldn’t help but notice the ample boobage that was on full display if I looked down.  The parts

that weren’t  flying about were now stuck to my skin that was dripping with sweat.  Next time I will wear the tank top…with spaghetti straps.

2. What’s with the braids?
The answer I came up with after pulling my hair out of the one he braided for me:  Because my hair would be a tangled mess…much like it was after the braid

came out, but easier to brush out.

3. Really? Boots…what’s the purpose?
The answer I came up with after looking at myself during the ride:  Because the adorable green and blue trail running shoes DO NOT look right while on a

Harley.

4. Why do they always eat in the bar?
The answer after pulling in to get a bite to eat and removing my helmet:  Because they stink and their hair is a mess…not something someone wants to

display in a restaurant.

5. What’s with the beer/booze drinking?
The answer I came up with:  Because it’s hotter than HELL out there and nothing tastes quite as good as a beer after a ride.

I have yet to figure out the reason for the skimpy leather, but maybe that will come with the years of riding I hope we get to do.



Sadly though I don’t fit in with the group so I probably won’t be joining any groups and selling all I own to cross the lands on the open road on the back of

Harley.  The only thing that screamed “Harley” was the thing I was riding and the helmet that had it written across it.

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05
Aug
Fucktard…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Untitled, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Last night was one of those nights I needed to have. It’s one of those nights while you are living it, you know you’re healing a part of you life you knew was

broken…and you can see it for the beauty it is.

I’ve told the story about Mary a million times on here. For those that have been following me here or all the way back at Just Keeton– you know Mary. This

post isn’t about Mary, but about how I never stop learning from her.
Yesterday she brought me her two beautiful children, who a time loved like my very own. Christopher, oh sweet lordy I missed that face of his. He’s all grown

up, but I still see that adorable little shit head with the big heart and infectious giggle. Abby, what a sassy, little smart ass that one is…but such a beautiful

young woman and when she stops to hear your words and receive them, when she opens her mouth and expresses her heart…it’s amazing to watch.

It felt like parts of the night was like the ball under the shell game. I was here, then here, then over there…catching up with each one of them individually and

able to hear stories of heartbreak and also stories that included laughing so hard I made Abby cry. Chris though, I needed to talk to him and I needed to know

he was going to be okay because him and I connected many years ago and I use to call him the son I didn’t get to have. It was hard to watch from afar this

young boy self destruct. He has that light in his eyes right now. He knows he’s smart, he knows he has a long road, and I pray that he sees how many people

in his life love him and didn’t turn their backs on him. His mother is his number one cheerleader, and I am hers right now.

Lester came over because how in the world could he miss the opportunity to meet Mary? He couldn’t. They have been facebook friends for awhile now and

she is actually now friends with one of his friends that I’m friends with too. I told him, “I swear to God, she’s not the spacecase you read on facebook.” He

wasn’t convinced, “She’s a fucktard that can’t string a thought together to save her life.” Buuuuut, she’s kinda cute and I spoke so highly of her, how could he

not come over?
We laid in bed together with his head buried in my neck, “I like your friend. She’s actually very cool and I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to like her, but I do.

You can tell her that too.” He struggled with the last part. He fell asleep and I bounded downstairs to tell Mary. She has the most genuine smile and her eyes

got all teary as she said she was so happy to hear that. Not because she likes him, because he loves me so much and she loves me that much too.

Christopher and my daughter Shea hit it off well and he felt he needed to give her some words of “brotherly” wisdom. It was cute watching him and her

together and at one point he realized that there was a man sitting in my living room with the girls. “Uh, is that guy your ex husband?” I said yes and the

amazement he had was visible across his face. “that’s really cool. It’s not very often you get to see that.” You could see that it was something he wanted in his

life. It’s hard to explain WHY it’s okay for my life to be like the way it is, but I have come to the conclution that it’s me. I’m the common denominator in all of

this and if I can take the blame for the crap in my life, for fucks sake I am going to take credit for the good too. It felt good to have my boyfriend shooting the

shit with my ex husband and friend. It felt good to know that my kids don’t have to hear shit talked about me (other than what Dan does when he’s being a

dumbassmotherfucker) and my kids don’t have to hear me say horrible mean things about their dad…except when I call him a dumbassmotherfucker, but he’s

usually sitting across from me when I say it and he just laughs and comes up with something as stupid)
My greatest hope for Dan is that he meets someone that gets ‘us’…that they understand how very, vitally important it is that our children know that mom and

dad love each other. We disagree, we parent differently, he’s a dumb ass and I’m totally awesome. But we do care for each other and the well being of the

other person.
I hope for all of us invoved (my boyfriend, my best friend who happens to be my second ex husband’s first wife, the kids, our trail running adventures) he

doesn’t fall for someone who is petty, mean, jealous and insecure…or if he does that he does it after the kids are old enough to tell that person to go fuck

themselves.

So that brings me around to where I am right now and my lesson learned from Mary. We were at the store and talking about the time in our lives that we

weren’t talking and I would say something and she would reply, “I know. I remember that. “ She smiles and said, “I was always following you…” She was

talking about Random and Odd. She would talk about pictures that I had taken in the 9 years we didn’t talk, “I love that picture of Jeremiah with the curls…”

and she knows everyone I talk about. “I wanted to be there during Blog This! I went around calling my friends Hooker Ass Bitches after that!” She is amazed at

the road that Tabitha and I have been on and how when it finally came together how truly tremendous friendship it is.
Mary never let go and it was out of love that she followed me. She watched from afar hoping sometimes that I might stumble and fall and when I did she

hoped I would get back up and be okay. She knew though, she knew that no matter what happened in my life that I would always be okay because I have a

family that loves me so deeply. She is a part of that family and if you’re lucky enough to have my mother, sister, brother and father’s approval in my life you

too are family.

For the first time in my life I am surrounded by ONLY the people that my family love and I am doing pretty darn good. My job is looking pretty damn bleak,

but I’m seeing the positive in every single day and rolling with the changes. I am very, very, very happy with Lester. I feel like I have a life time of friendship

with Tabitha to get moving on. My health is shaky, but I am not stuck in bed and if I was it would be okay because I know when I get better I will be right back

out on the trails doing my thing.

And the lesson I learned with having Mary here…I have a voice, I have stories and there will be people in this world that want to see me fail, falter, slip, hurt…

and they will, but they will also watch an amazing recovery filled with ups and downs. They are in this world, but not a part of my life. I’m not going to silence

my story because of one person and the insecurities they have.
I read today, “Jealousy is counting someone elses blessings instead of your own.”
A-MEN. My advise…you have blessings and a lifetime full of them, start counting yours and screw what ever anyone else has to say!!

So no, there will not be a password on Random and Odd. If you don’t like what I have to say, KICK ROCKS and go away. There are 278 emails in my inbox

waiting for the password to my past posts…and I don’t have the time or energy to try to find out of if all of those people are ‘real’. But maybe 277 of them are

and they want to hear my stories and not get left out. Like Mary, they want to follow my journey…even if we aren’t friends. And yes, Mary…for the record it’s

kinda creepy, but what in my life is normal? My boyfriend is an albino lumber jack, my closest friend shared a husband, I go running with my first ex husband

and where Mary fits into this crazy world of mine, oh lordy lordy (Christopherism)

I’m back, bitches.

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03
Oct
Adding one more…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


awww! Adding one more to the Exes., originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
I finally got to meet the original Baland!!
This is Jen and for years I had only heard stories of her. None of which were good.

For those of you that are following along, go get your flowcharts so you can update it.
This is DB’s brother’s FIRST wife. They divorced about a year or two before DB and I got together.
Tabitha works in the same building (or in the same area) and they had ran into each other awhile ago. It’s taken this long for all of us to finally get together. I

wasn’t sure if we would get along, according to all the stories I had heard, we would be like oil and vinegar.
I watched as she came back into the kids lives and how much they love her and how she was so open and honest with them. She wanted to spend time with

them and get to know them for who they are now.
She was even amazing with my girls!

I wasn’t expecting her humor though. She was so adorable and funny!!

We have convinced her that she will join us in our Hiking with the Exes.

Welcome to our Village Jen!

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28
Sep
Packing up!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Just peeking, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
It was this time last year that I was moving into this beautiful home. I had gotten rid of so much stuff, which seemed silly because I was moving into a bigger

home. It was time to clean house and get a new start on my life. This home was picked because it was down the street from the home I lost to foreclosure.

Each of my children’s school was located less than a half mile from here. It was exactly what I needed at the time.

Now it’s a year later and I am ready to move again. The loss of my job will not allow me to stay here. I can still afford the rent, but the month to month bills are

too much for me to be able to keep up with.

I’m not big on packing up, but this time I am actually kind of excited. Everything is put into piles. Keep. Donate. Sell. Store.
I’m looking at things that I held so dear to me and thinking, “it can go now.”
My motto this year, ‘Let Go’ has gotten me so far.

This last year has been amazing. So many great things have come to me just by simply letting go of all the stuff that was holding me back.
Success won’t meet my where I am comfortable and I need to keep reminding myself that as I start on this new book.

Kara and I watch this show about people buying second homes in other countries. “How do people get to the point to where they have enough money to not

only own one home in the US, but then to be able to go buy another in another country…for vacations?!” Having to accept the fact that I will not ever be one

of those people, or even being able to be someone that can ever go on a true vacation again is something I struggle with.

It’s a brand new year again…and who knows what this year will bring me.
I’m just hoping it’s a moving team and someone who likes to unpack kitchen stuff!!

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26
Sep
making wrong choices!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


random hiking/trail running, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
I haven’t kept up on Hiking With the Exs. I fell behind and I can’t remember half the hikes we did between then and now. At some point I am going to have to

catch back up.
Last week we did one hike that was only like 7 miles and then drove an hour to do another that was about 4. It was a weird day for trail running.
Yesterday we had set out to do this elusive run I have been trying to do for nearly a year and when we got out there we found out deer season just started and

it wouldn’t be a bright idea to be out running in the woods. We picked a trail that was more populated closer to town.
At the beginning of the hike I asked Dan, “I wonder if I will like this trail?” He laughed because he knew that I would love it or hate it and if I hated it,

EVERYONE was going to have to hear about it.
I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t like it so much.
It was 7k feet of elevation loss and gain throughout the whole hike. I am pretty certain I was either going up hill or going downhill….no flatlands to be found.
I’m sure I’m wrong, but I lost my mind around mile 5.

Around mile 7 I started to feel sick. I’ve had pains in my legs, my hip go out, blisters like you wouldn’t believe…but I’ve never felt sick to my stomach like I

did yesterday. I tried running through it and I had to hold my stomach. It didn’t take long before I started feeling dizzy.

After that part of my day was over I went home, showered and fell asleep for an hour before I headed to Lester’s game.
As I am driving over to the ice rink i’m thinking, “If I just pull over and throw up I will be fine.” but I didn’t dare take the risk. I made it through the game and

back to his house.

I know what the problem was…. Salami. Not such a bright idea for trail running food. We had packed Salami sandwiches and I think it was trying to kill me.

I woke up this morning feeling like I spent all night dancing, drinking battery acid and pounding my head against a brick wall.

Salami…you are no friend of mine!

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21
Sep
rolling again…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Now that things have settled down a little bit in my world, I can catch everyone up.
On Thursday morning we sent Kara off to Virginia.  I didn’t have time to get too upset because on Friday morning I was let go from my job of two and half

years.  It was a little shocking because I made it through the first round of lay offs and it looked as if I was actually getting more responsibilities.
I love the HR lady and I knew once we sat down it was going to be hard on her and to make it easier on her, I tried to be strong.  As she was talking to me, I

sent a text to Lester to let him know what was going on. “What are you doing?”  The smart ass side of me wanted to say, “Putting in the code word to erase

my computer and put the place on lock down.” But I could see she was trying to get through this as professionally as possible and joking wasn’t want she

needed. “Just sending my boyfriend a text to let him know what happened.”    She worked her way through the whole exit and said, “If there is ANYTHING you

need, please tell me.”  I couldn’t hold back, “A job.”  Poor woman, she held up pretty good.  I walked her to my computer and showed her all that would be

needed to continue to track all that I have been doing since I started working there.
As soon as I left, I went and filed for unemployment, went to the courthouse to take care of some stuff that needed to be taken care of and went and filed out

the paperwork to get an apartment.   It’s really difficult to get an apartment when you have no job…just saying.

I was waiting for the break down I was surly going to have, but it never came.   There was just too much to be done to be able to bounce back and there was

no time to feel sorry, get sad, be angry.  Tuesday came around and I had my dentist appointment so it would have to wait until after that.  No, I was in too

much pain to even think of anything other than, ‘Get me the fuck out of here!”  FOUR HOURS and I SHIT YOU NOT, 18 shots to numb my tooth and it NEVER

took.   Tabitha came over after dropping Marina off at school and made me something to eat.  I fell asleep for an hour, woke up and sent Lester a text to tell

him I couldn’t drive over.  After that, everything got a little foggy until I woke up at 5:30 am.
I checked my text messages to find that Lester was coming over but then realized I wasn’t awake and then sang me a little song.  I checked the text that I sent

him trying to figure out why he was singing to me and apparently I said, “I hate those cock suckers!” None of which I remember sending.
Marina came in around 6am this morning to fill in the gaps…she said she came in around 9pm last night to let me know she was staying the night.  ”Okay,

come lay down” and I patted the bed.  This I do not remember either.
I slept for 13 straight hours and HOLY HELL did I have to pee when I woke up this morning!

It’s been a strange few days and I know I am going to be fine…or I keep telling myself that until it does get better.  I’ve already started packing up my house

and gone through and decided what needs to be sold at a yard sale so I can put the rest of stuff in storage.  That is always the hardest part of my life, giving

up my independence and heading into the next part of the unknown.

I’m strong and I know I won’t be here long.  Ya’ll ready to read the next book of my life?   because this isn’t just a new chapter, it’s a whole new book!

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17
Sep
It’s only been two days…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Untitled, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
and I miss her so much.

She sent me a picture, text and email and it’s making it easier.

If only I could figure out how to use Skype on my new laptop I would be in business.

Spent the day cleaning out Lester’s garage. It kept my mind off all that’s going on in my life right now.

I’ll write more when I have something interesting to talk about.

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12
Sep
things i’ll miss when bear bear leaves…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Kara and Marina – 2005  ”sisters”

1. random singing.
2. ipod playing every morning when she gets ready.
3. coop’ins.
4. late night runs to Tops for us.
5. stupid tv shows i wouldn’t watch it wasn’t for her.
6. being able to talk dorky to her and making her laugh until she cries.
7. our secrets.
8. my co-pilot
9. when she’s sick she calls me and i make it all better.
10. when i’m sick she takes care of me…since she was 8 years old and brought me a Otter Pop and mimicked me when I told her, “Otter Pops, make it all

better.”
11. someone that gets me, really truly understands me.
12. someone that can see that i’m sad and won’t stop asking me what’s wrong when i say nothing. she never gives up. she’s either nosey or really does care.

then makes it all better by listening and then making me laugh.
13. just flat out going to miss my daughter..for a long time, until she comes home again.

I’m gunna miss my bear-bear!

Many of you know that Random and Odd started as a way to keep my mom and sister informed of my whereabouts and goingson, I am going to spend the

next year writing to Kara while she is in VA going to school and starting her new life.

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09
Sep
in case you were wondering…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


What happy looks like.

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02
Sep
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


This last month has been a busy one and it doesn’t look like September is going to be any slower.

In this last month I have climbed a mountain (or a ‘peak’ according to my brother), I’ve gone camping and I’ve worked very hard on my relationships.

With Kara leaving in a couple of weeks I wanted to do something fun that wouldn’t cost us too much money.  We decided to go camping. For those of you that

know me, know I have all the camping gear I thought we would ever need.  I believed this until I went camping with my friend Bonnie.  After two days of

camping with her I realized I am missing out on so much. Alyx decided to nickname her “Walmart” because if at any point we needed anything Bonnie had it.

She was a walking Walmart.
She has a boat which made the lake we were camping on a whole lot more exciting.  The girls did some tubing, kneeboarding and tried to get up on the

wakeboard.  It was a memory I won’t soon forget.   The last  night we sat around the campfire playing “Famous Names” for hours.

This last couple of weeks I’ve had a few new breakthroughs in my relationship.  This week we decided to see if we could clean out a bedroom dresser drawer

without it being a big deal.  I have my own side of the bathroom and there hasn’t been an issue.  We stood back and waited to see what the dresser would do

after my clothes were put inside.  It didn’t buck or spit them out.  When we got up in the morning the dresser was when we went to sleep.  SUCCESS!
I was also rewarded with my very own towel on the towel rack.  It was a good week relationship wise.
This week his Sister in Law is coming to town and I offered to help him clean up a little bit.   My version of cleaning and his version of cleaning vary.  When I

clean I like to put things away, I organize, I move shit around.   This is the quickest way to send him into a cardiac arrest.  
To his credit, he did very well.
I think my smart ass comment shut him up. When he saw me moving some books around and asked, “What are you doing?” …I looked up at him with paper

towel and Windex in hand and said, “My taxes.”  He did his eye roll, half laugh and loving slap and shut up after that.
In the past two days I have managed to put stuff away, scrub a few floors and move all kinds of stuff around and he hasn’t given me any shit.  In our

relationship this is HUGE.  His stuff is his stuff. His stuff has a place and it’s where he put it.  To move his stuff opens up a can of worms I am not ready to

deal with…but I did and I feel more a part of this place and I think he can now trust that I won’t toss his shit out or ‘lose’ it.
It was a compromise: I got to clean and move stuff around and he didn’t have to watch me pout when I didn’t get to.  Totally fair trade off if you ask me!

Alyx won 3rd row tickets to see Taylor Swift in concert.  Kara put in to win through a writing/picture thing and we find out in a few hours if she won. I am

feeling pretty confident that she will win. If she does she’s taking her friend Kianna who has taken her to a bunch of concerts over the years and it will make

Kara so happy to be able to finally take her to one.  If she doesn’t win Alyx said she wants Kara to go with her.  Either way, Kara and Alyx are going to see

Taylor Swift on Saturday.

This month I am flying out to Oregon to take pictures of a couple of elementary school friends family photos.  I’m happy to be able to actually hang out with

them. I get to see one when she comes to California to get in a few skydives or the other when she’s in Redding running in a race or something, but it will be

awesome to spend the whole weekend getting to know their family and to be able to sit back and talk without distractions (other than their kids)

Things are rough, but emotionally I am pretty strong and keeping my head up.
I get by with a little help from my friends…

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26
Aug
F. O. F.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Canopy Wrap

–as seen on IloveSkydiving.org

Holy shit! I have a bunch of friends who do CRW and seeing this just makes me look at their side of the sport a little differently.

Geeezus this video freaked me out.

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24
Aug
Adventures in Swype
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: swype
It’s been about a year or so that I got my phone that is ‘smart’.  It’s been less than a year that I have “Swype”.  If you don’t have swype, a quick explanation:

You run your finger over the word you want to type and it magically types what you were thinking. It’s magic…it’s fucking magic.

I don’t mind so much when it changes ‘and’ to ‘nad’ or ‘so’ to ‘do’.  Most people get it and move on with the conversation.

There are only three circumstances in which a swype fuck up sucks: in a text fight or when it just decides to change the whole freaking sentence on you and

the worst; when it makes you look perverted (as seen on DYAC on a daily basis…you don’t think it will happen to you UNTIL IT DOES)

1.  THE FIGHT: In a heated conversation with my boyfriend I stated, “I’m done with this conversation!” and I was DONE WITH THE CONVERSATION. I was NOT

happy and about to say some things I would surly regret when I wasn’t so pissed off.  Instead I was going to take the high road and end the conversation with

“I will see you in the morning”  EXCEPT swype changed ‘see’ to ‘sewer’.
I was winning that debate until SWYPE made me look like a jackass.

2. CHANGING THE SENTENCE: In another conversation with my boyfriend and we were working out our plans for the evening.
“I have the field gunfight.”  and I hit send without reading because it’s been a good long time since Swype  has decided to dick me around.
I looked back down at the phone and reread what I just sent.  Yeah, no field gunfights, better resend that one:   “I have the GIRLS TONIGHT.”
He thought the field gunfight would be more fun.

3. PERVERTED:  In another recent conversation with my boyfriend: “Hey baby! I sold another one of your dick straps!”
Yeahhhhhhhh…meant DUCK STRAPS.
and that started a whoooooole other conversation.

Sometimes I wonder why he puts up with me and then I remember that I send some very flavorful texts (and sometimes I don’t even mean to!)   :)

Oh, and I make him laugh…

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30
Dec
The one where I write…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I put a lot of time and thought into the video and what I wanted it to display.  This is a little less of what my year was, but more of what I learned from it and

what I want to do in 2012.

What I learned:

Hiking/Trail running:
1. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread shoved into a camelbak will be a bread, peanut butter and jelly ball after 5 miles…without fail.  Use a

harder bread instead.
2. Salami is NOT a trail running food…for ANYONE involved.
3. Running while your DayQuil battles it out with the NyQuil you took a few hours before because you thought you should sleep and then changed your mind

and decided a run would be smarter …. IS NOT FUN. I might need to redo that trail because I don’t remember much of it.
4. Running on Vicoden isn’t smart either. When my back is out, just stay in bed because it’s THOSE runs that I get lost and end up running 25.5 miles and run

out of water with 10 miles left to go!
5. Don’t do long term running in hiking shoes. I ran a good hundred miles on a pair of hiking shoes and lost about 4 toenails. They fit perfect for walking, but

if you’re running you need to get about a half size bigger and shoes designed for running. duh.
6. A camelbak (water bladder/backpacky thing) can only hold so much and I have had everything in there at one time and after a year of this figured out what

is needed for me to get through a run/hike;  chomps, knife, snake bite kit, pill box, bandaids, bug spray, sunblock, backup shoe laces, lighter, food,

electrolytes tabs and a favorite little snack.
7. There will be snakes. You can’t zone out for a second when running on canyon trails or you will pay the price by either going down a cliff or stepping on a

snake (or two).
8. Pack a map. SO much less stress. SO MUCH.
9. For me, dress light no matter how cold it is, a mile in I am going to shed the jacket and leg wear and have no place to put it.
10. This is fun. I learned to enjoy it…that was after the shin splints, leg cramps, lost toenails, hip and back popping in and out and trial and error of actually

doing it.

In my Relationship:
1. it’s taken awhile of wondering HOW I fell in love with him, but I did today when explaining it to a friend.  I watched that man every day during one the

crappiest time of his life walk around and treat people with as much kindness as he felt they deserved. He never once complained or even hinted that his life

wasn’t all that had hoped it would be.  He just was there to walk past my office and see that my door was closed and knew I was having a hard day dealing with

the shit that was going on in my life and would just be nice when I had done nothing to deserve his kindness.   Without him knowing that I knew what was

going on, I would see him hold his head up, go to work everyday, never take his shit out on anyone else, never lay out all his drama on anyone, never talk

shit about the shit he was being put through.
He had strength that I admired.  It took awhile, but I see that now.

I know that this year coming year I have to stand up for myself when people aren’t treating me right. I have to take the steps THIS year to ensure that and of all

the things I learned last year, the thing that will carry me through is, “I can…and I will.”

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26
Dec
I am composed of 85% awesome…and 15% crippling self doubt.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


ugly as sin., originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
In January of 2011 I bought my first pair of shoes. They were Merrell hiking shoes. Within the first few hikes I began to run. I knew that I shouldn’t be running

in these shoes because they didn’t have the support system I would need.
I bought a pair of Asisc trail running shoes, but after a month of running in them I had to return them because they didn’t release the heat and because I run

through knee high water at certain parts of the trail and they didn’t let the water out.
I replaced those shoes with a pair of Brooks Cascadia trail running shoes and I fell in love with them. I’m talking IN LOVE, could write a poem about them…

would marry them if I could.
During my trail running shoes adventures, Tabitha had bought a pair of Vibrams FiveFinger shoes. I wasn’t impressed with the look of the shoe or the support

they would offer out there.
Soon after Dan bought a pair of them. Again, I wasn’t impressed with the look and endlessly picked on him about them.
Then something crazy happened…both Tabitha and Dan started getting ridiculous muscles in their calves and legs. They could both take these insane hills

like they were no problem at all.
Long before Tabitha got the shoes, I started researching the pros and cons and watching an absurd amount of podcasts on reviews from runners, doctors,

podiatrists and just normal every day wearers of the shoes.
I secretly decided I wanted to give them a try. Since I am one of those people that never wear shoes unless I’m outside and spent a million hours as a kid

running around in the hills without shoes I figured what would it hurt to at least try them out.
I got a pair a few days ago and I took them out for a spin.
My boyfriend has watched and encouraged me on my lifestyle change but has never joined me out in my playgrounds of Auburn California. I’ve promised him

to take him out on a hike and not run if he would just join me once.
On Christmas morning with a deep desire to get a couple miles on the shoes, I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk and I picked a simple trail out in the

canyons. We harnessed up the dog and headed out. I took it slow to see how the rocks and ground would feel. His walk is about equal to my slow jog and if I

fell back just enough I could do short sprints to see how they would hold up. I could tell I was more in tune to the ground and how my foot struck. The Treks

that I picked out have more grip than some of the other models of the FiveFingers and are made for trail running. They held up nice on the rockiest part of the

trail. Not once did I say, “OUCH” like I was prepared to do.
At the bottom of this big hill I decided I was going to do a power walk up. There is something about the shoes that actually allowed me to sprint the hill and I

didn’t have the lag I normally have halfway up.
On the way back I was encouraging the dog to do a little one minute jog with me and low and behold those little doggie legs kept up fine. I couldn’t help but

notice that my boyfriend was actually doing a little bit of the running as well.

This morning we made our way to the shoe store so he could get himself a pair of Brooks so he can (possibly) do a run with me at the beginning of the year.

There is no way to put into words the pride I have right now that he’s willing to take this small step into such a huge part of my world. He said he wasn’t going

to run, but I told him he might accidently start running. I’m willing to hang back and enjoy the time we have together in our first (and maybe only) official race

together.

On the Hiking with the Exes site I will be doing more on the review on the Vibrams FiveFinger Trek shoes. We shall see if this is for me. For the record, they

are ugly as hell and I tried on all types of them in hopes of finding a pair that were bit stylish, but really…how can you make these Shrek feet looking shoes

cute? You can’t…so I am just going to go with it and hope they grow on me.

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12
Dec
2011 year in review…part 1
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Click to watch my year in review.

I will be writing it as the year comes to an end.

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02
Dec
*sad sigh*
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I’m a winner., originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
I just can’t believe its December.
This is the first year in all the years I can remember that I am truly bummed that it’s over.
I had high hopes for 2010, but I was still working out all the bullshit from 2009 to fully grasp the new start I was being handed.

Yesterday I began working on my “2011 – My Story”. I swear, I made myself cry thinking about how depressing it is that I have to say goodbye to this year.

This is such a foreign feeling for me because it feels like every year I just want NEXT year to be better, swearing that it will be and making up my mind to

FINALLY make it happen. This year, I did it. Not a few months I was doing good, feeling great, loving it…I got the WHOLE YEAR. There wasn’t a single month

that I can look back on and say, “That one sucked.”
This doesn’t mean that I didn’t have bad days, and even bad weeks. I have had some doozies. I’m going to chalk up every single dentist appointment I’ve had

this year as a bad day. The cool thing about this year is that no matter how bad it got, I knew I was going to be okay and the only thing I could do was roll with

it. By the time I got laid off from my job, I had built up a lot of strength. That day I was walked out, I got in the car, drove home and signed up for

unemployment, went and found an apartment and gave my 45 day notice to my landlady. I kept waiting for the moment I was going to lose it, cry hysterically

and freak out about my future. Later that night I was sitting outside with Lester and I asked him, “When am I going to snap?” … he said, “I don’t think you

will.” He was right. I didn’t.
Since then I have of course cried a hundred times, but mostly for really stupid stuff…like the show Biggest Loser…a perfect sunset from my balcony in

Maui…and when he pulled me into his arms and said ‘this is happiness’ on Thanksgiving. They are happy tears now.

What is going to happen in 2012? I know I am going to keep doing the things that made 2011 so fantastic, cultivate the friendships that made 2011 amazing

and start repairing the things I need to repair.
I want to take on a new hobby that I can do on Saturdays. I’m thinking rock climbing or kayaking.

This year I am going to truly celebrate new year party when I VERY sadly say goodbye to my favoritest year and welcome a brand new year.

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22
Nov
Thank you for giving. I’ll take real good care of it.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Maui 2011, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Everyone is doing the “I’m Thankful for…” the whole month of November until Thanksgiving on Facebook again this year. I have done a few, but they were

always the funny things that get overlooked, like Qtips.

Last year on my blog I pointed out the small things I am grateful for. Looking over it, I am still grateful for those things, but this time I want to be thankful for

this year as a whole.

I have been reading about my friends and what they have had to go through this year and my first thing I am grateful for is my health and the health of my

children. SO many of my friends spend hours on the road driving their very young children to get Chemotherapy sessions far away from home. When some

parents are stressing about their kids unmade beds, I have another parent who is stressing on her son’s blood cell count. I’m hoping Alyx gets a good hair

cut for her school pictures and one of my friends is hoping her kid doesn’t get teased because her daughter has no hair yet because the chemo made it fall

out.
Are you kids not getting good grades in school? I have a friend whos kid is homeschooled because he is in the hospital so much because of brittle bones.

Facebook has shown me that as a parent, I am so lucky that my kids are where they are. If not happy…at least HEALTHY.

Speaking of happy. This time last year I was in a weird place with Lester. We were broke up/still seeing each other and I was right on the brink of getting ready

to get over him and move on. I told him once, the best thing you ever did was leave me because you showed me that I can get over you too. I’ve said it before,

but losing what we had last year was harder than the loss of my marriage. The marriage loss hurt was for the girls and all that they would lose. When Lester

and I broke up, it was all my loss.
This year we are on a whole different train. I’m not sure when It got easier, but it has. Does he still drive me crazy? Yes. He does. Does he want to strangle me

at every turn? Yup. Right now, the happy outweighs everything else. There are times when we are together and I look over at him and he smiles and it’s the

most real smile I have ever seen. For those of you that don’t know Lester, he’s not big on smiling or showing that he’s happy. In the 2 years we have been

together he’s gotten so much better at just letting go and being dorky with me. This will come as a shock to some of you, but I’m not a super serious person.

When it’s OUR time, be it just the two of us or when his son is there, or my kids…we can just laugh and make jokes. I am grateful for the love we have for each

other. I am grateful that we can have two different lives in two different towns and 99% of the time we are flawless when it comes to dividing time and how we

are when we aren’t together. I am grateful for our Sundays. I leave early in the morning and I trail run all day and then at the end of the day I watch him play

hockey. It might have not been enough for someone else, but it’s perfect for me. I am grateful.

Oh the gratefulness just keeps coming. I miss Kara so much, but I am so happy that we have a place that we talk and she can spill her heart out. Her writing

has gotten so good, it’s like a novel I don’t want to put down. Every day I want her to come home because the missing of her is out of control, but I know

she’s still testing out those wings and soon she will fly. It probably won’t be home that she lands, but she better always circle back because she is my other

half in this life. She is the other half of her sisters and she better come back and spend more time with her baby sister because she needs her.
She sent me a text as I was sitting in the chair to get the tattoo. “Just Breath” she says to me. Her and I had been going back and forth about the tattoo design.

I had told her not to get a tattoo that she will regret or one that links her to someone. “After ALL that you told me, you are getting Lester’s tattoo? ARE YOU

CRAZY!? What if he does something horrible to you and you have to look at that every day and think of it?”
She has a point, but I also had mine. I’m not a tattoo person, AT ALL. I made a deal with Lester and even though I thought he would never really do it, he did

it. My part of the deal was I get a tattoo. I told Kara that no matter if I got the tattoo 15 years after Lester and I broke up, that first tattoo would ALWAYS be the

‘bet’ tattoo and as soon as I got it, no matter who I was with or the meaning of the tattoo, it would be, “yeah, this is the one I should have gotten when I was

with Lester.”
People have done some shitty things and I don’t need a tattoo to remember it. I have a good memory.
This tattoo is our tattoo now. He was gracious enough to share it with me and I cherish it. This will always remind me of the most amazing year I have ever

had. It symbolizes the changes in my life and the commitment I have made to change and grow. This tattoo is the year I took on mountains and I won. This

was the year I Let Go.
“If it gets too bad mom, just hold your breath when it hurts and breath when it doesn’t.”
I found that I can hold my breath for ten straight minutes. ;)
I’m grateful that my daughter always knows when it’s a bad day it’s a root beer day. I am grateful that she knows the exact moment to call when the needle

went in and when to shut up about it.

The big things year I am grateful for. My car, by the grace of GOD is still on the road, getting me to point B. I am healthy. I can recognize a good day and

know a bad day might be right around the corner, but being grateful for THAT day and live in the day, not the week or year. To recognize the strength I have

and build from there. The love I am lucky to have from an amazing man. My family…my sister because that woman…she puts up with sooooooooooooooooo

much.

I am grateful for what I do have and not jealous for what I don’t have. I’ve thrown away a lot in my life and I’ve learned from it. Being able to see the goodness

of this life and what is left of it is what I have learned this year. NEVER take for granted the calmness in your life, because once you start getting petty and

snide…shit will get real and it could get VERY UGLY.

Just sayin’.

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09
Nov
Sometimes you got to go through Hell before you get to Heaven…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Another 4am morning.

I got up this morning and made a pot of coffee while Lester snored away.  One of the patio doors was barely cracked open and I could hear this high wind

coming from outside.  It sounded like I was in the middle of a hurricane.  Looking out at the courtyard you can see the trees bending in t

before we left California I checked the weather forecast and it said each day was going to be windy with showers.  It also said it was going to be 83 degrees. So

far we have had the winds, no showers and it’s been a lot warmer than I thought it was going to be.
On the news yesterday morning the weather woman said, “Grab your jacket before you leave!”
After our 2nd shore dive yesterday and we were driving home in our wet clothes, windows down I had to laugh…yeah, this is coat weather.
I finally opened the patio door, expecting the high winds to be cold.  Nope, warm. I love Maui.

We had a change of plans yesterday because the boat fix didn’t work.  We ended driving to the other part of Maui and doing a beach dive.  Both of us have

dove this part of the island. 15 years ago I did this dive and I got my ass kicked by the coral reef when I went up to high and got caught in the surf.  This time I

stayed low and only came up when I wanted to go into a cave or through an arch.
The first dive was amazing. It made up for the shit dive we did on Monday to the boat.   It takes awhile to get back in the swing of Scuba. The technical side of

it is easy, it’s the relaxing and enjoying the view that gets forgotten when making sure all the technical stuff is taken care of.
The first dive we saw the whole spectrum of fish.  My favorite are always the bright yellow fish, but this time I was enamored by this tye dye looking fish.  This

little guy was enormous and was spitting out rock and sand endlessly. He was a comedy act to watch.

After that dive we drug our asses back up the beach and washed off and headed to get food.  Is 10:30 am to early for rum?  We got back to the condo after the

best lunch and I laid down while Lester download the pictures.  Within minutes I was out.  He gave me a whopping 25 minute nap before waking me up and

telling me that the clouds were dark where we were going to do our second dive and we needed to get moving to beat the storm.
It was dark and the beach we were going to dive from was choppy so we decided to do the same dive we had done earlier that morning.
This time we saw turtles, eels, trumpet fish and this amazing arch.  The snorkelers had told us they saw a couple reef sharks in a cave and my goal was to find

those sharks to get in close to get a picture.  I located the cave they said they saw it in and I went in very slow, stopping my bubbles so I could focus in each

direction.  Just as I was about into the dark part of the cave, a yellow fish darted out from behind some coral and scared the living shit out of me. I screamed

and did this sissy ass back swim.  Turning around I looked for Lester, hoping he didn’t see me have that freak out moment.  Nope, he saw something shiny

and wasn’t paying attention.  I decided that if I was going shark hunting, I better make sure that Lester is there to make sure he can get a picture of the shark

that is likely going to take off my arm.

At about 1500 lbs of air it was time to turn around, I made my way up and over this reef and it opened up into this pocket of amazingness.  The big yellow fish

that had been leading the way to this slice of heaven didn’t steer me wrong.  I made my way through this coral arch and out into another pocket with a cave.
I turned around again to watch Lester come through the arch and I smiled.
This is my dive buddy now. This is the person I trust with my life with.

With that thought, I promise to take him more seriously when he’s pointing out that he’s running out of air in his tank.

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08
Nov
“Of all the timezones, God loves Hawaii the most.”
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Maui 2011, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
I rolled over this morning expecting it to be long past 4am because I had woken up so many times that I was sure I had overslept our 6:30 wake up alarm.
Looking over Lester’s body to the clock I had to giggle. “4am.”
He said, “Ready to get up?” He was awake too and ready to start our day.

Yesterday we did a shore dive outside the resort we are staying at. We wanted to test out the underwater camera and the ‘water resistant’ box we got to put the

electronic key to the car in so we can beach dive in other places. The camera housing held up wonderfully. The water resistant box is not waterproof.
There is this large military ship/boat docked out by our resort. It’s a really good distance away, but I was sure we could swim out to it. I had forgotten how

heavy scuba gear is when you have to haul it down to a beach, put it on, swim to the dive spot, drop down and dive for 20 minutes, swim back and then haul it

all back up…soaking wet with noodles for arms and legs.
I did really well on the way out there. When the dive was over I looked back at the shoreline that looked about 20 miles away. In my head I little conversation

that went just like this; “Fuuuuuuuckkkk meeeee. I did NOT think this all the way through. Okay, Kristine we are going to just swim and keep swimming and

aim for the middle of the resort. I got this.”
That little pep talk got me about half way there and that’s when I realized I wasn’t using my legs when I was swimming. I was doing this little kid kicking and

had resorted to dog paddling. It was time to pep talk myself again, “Oh knock this shit off Kristine and kick your goddammn legs! “ I took off again and with

little doubts of being able to make it slipping in and having to squash them down we made it back to the beach. A huge wave came and I let it pick me up and

I walked right up on the beach. It wasn’t the image I had in my head the whole time I was swimming back in. The scene in my head involved me crawling up,

spitting salt water, crying and grabbing my cramping legs.
Nope. It was yet another moment where I realized I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. I’m physically stronger than I thought I was.

Lester and I went over to our friend’s house and helped him fix his boat and then afterward he took me up to Lahaina where we walked around and went into

all these shops. I found Alyx’s necklace I told her I would get her. This was my strategy to make sure Alyx loved it; pick what my sister Kathy would love and

Alyx will love it.
With Marina, I knew what she wanted, but I had no idea what design she would want. After a few days of pricing every single hippy bag I could find I finally

found a place that was reasonable and I took a picture and texted it to her to ask her what design she liked. She picked the one I would have NEVER picked for

her. Two of the 4 girls are taken care of and now I just need to find Kara and Shea their gifts and since Lester likes to shop, I won’t need to panic and do last

minute airport shopping.

Today we are doing a double boat dive to work on the reef. I’ve never done this before, but we are putting on all our gear then putting a whole other gear set

together and then taking it down with us. When we run out of air we just take off our gear and move over into the other gear. This will make it so we don’t have

to resurface and change tanks.

Depending on how tired we are after working on the reef, Lester said he will take me to the 7 sacred pools and down the road to Hana. I am almost TOO excited

about this.

I was talking to Marina and Alyx back at home and they said it’s freezing and off and on raining. The woman at the hot tub last night mentioned post vacation

depression. Thinking about going back already is sad. It’s days away, but I want to make sure I don’t miss a moment and memory.

It’s only Tuesday and I since my day is starting out at 4am, I have hours to go make those memories!!

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07
Nov
Not a single complaint.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Maui 2011, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
This is my second morning in Maui and again I can’t sleep past 4am. Yesterday I did the same thing, but I wasn’t alone. Lester and I were both awake and too

excited to sleep.
This morning I have the patio doors wide open and even though it’s still dark outside I can hear the waves crashing on the beach. Hot Kona coffee and

sounds of the ocean in Maui … now that’s the best part of waking up!

Yesterday was our first full day on the island. We met our friend of many years to take out on his boat to go scuba diving. It’s been a couple years since we

went scuba diving and 2 years ago I had a devil may care attitude about life and wasn’t nervous at all. In fact, so much as I was the only one out of 4 that did

the first dive…and without a dive buddy. Yesterday, my nerves got the best of me before I even got out on the boat. Lester asked if I was okay and I told him I

was nervous. He asked why I was nervous and I had no response…”because I am.” And he came back with, “well stop. Stop being nervous.”
I love that man more than most things, but truly sometimes he’s just straight retarded. He realized that was a lame comment and he smiled and messed up

my hair. He’s learning that he must quickly redeem himself before I raise my eyebrows at his volume of stupidity. His smiles defuse any explosive situation he

might have created.
Our friend, Bill who lives on the island asked how I was doing and told him the same thing. “It’s alright, Darlin’. You’ll be fine. I’m right here and I’ll make

sure you’ll be safe.” BINGO. He nailed that one on the first try! I relaxed a little bit and stared out at the ocean waiting for our boat to come back in. Bill was

the first person that I went scuba diving with after I was certified. He’s got this Texas’esque accent that he has never lost while living in Maui for 500 years and

it’s down right adorable. I could hear his voice in my head the last time I went diving…”Have fun and be safe!” “check your depth sweetheart!” “if you get

scared, look at me Darlin, it will be fine.” So when we got on the boat and started getting ready to go in and he started talking I began to feel better. Once I got

all my gear on and went off the side of the boat backwards I was fine. All that anxiety for nothing…I was comfortable.
Bill took us out to the reef he built. It’s compiled of a bunch of stuff he collected when cleaning up the ocean. He wrote out the words ALOHA and new coral is

growing on it and to be honest, when you come down to about 60 feet and you’re hovering above it, it’s breathtaking.
Hidden in a coral shelf was a white tipped shark. We came in close and I sat on the bottom of the ocean (about 90 feet) and watched and waited. He came out

slowly and was arm distance away.
Holy hell, I love my life!

After our morning dive we came home and I slept like the dead while Lester hosed off all our gear and watched TV for a bit. Note to self: when taking Tylenol

from a friend to rid yourself of a headache…make sure it doesn’t say PM after it, and be sure if you do still take it, only take ONE and not TWO.

We found a great taco shop on suggestion from one of the guys at the dive company and next door was a tattoo shop. Just walking in made me nervous.

Lester had designed the tattoo he’s getting while he’s here and I took one of his designs for myself. I’m not a tattoo person, but I did make a deal with him. If

he went skydiving, I would get a tattoo. I had weaseled my way out of my end of the bargain, but when we decided to come to Maui I told him that I would get it

while I was here.
I showed the artist the tattoo that I want and he made a print out of it so I can wear it around for a day to see if it’s where I want it to be. Just him prepping the

area for the stencil made me sick to my stomach. After it went on it looked HUGE and I began to regret even putting the stencil on! As I walked around and

began to look at it on my skin, I decided it’s not as big as I originally thought and I do like it a lot. It’s a tattoo that I have been staring at for 2 years nearly

every other night and I am very familiar with it. So on Thursday I will be getting my first tattoo…and I will probably either barf or pass out during the process.

It’s been 2 hours and the sun still isn’t up. HURRY! I’m ready to start my day!!

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03
Nov
Such a Life!!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


DSC_0362, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Yes, it has been forever since I have updated Random and Odd.
For the last few weeks, things have been very busy and I haven’t been motivated to do much.

2 weeks ago I moved out of the rental house and into an apartment. Marina asked me, “This must be just weird for you…you ok?” I told her after all the things

that have happened in the last two years that this wasn’t even phasing me.
The move went much easier than expected. I had signed up for the apartment a few hours after being laid off and I was approved after I showed proof that I

wasn’t responsible for the excessive late payments on a car I no longer own. There was a solid month of being able to be fully packed up and ready to go on

move day.
I really like my apartment. I’m tucked into a neat, secluded corner that is surrounded by trees. When the wind is blowing really hard, it sounds like I have a

waterfall on my patio. It’s cozy and I have already made it feel like home.

The week after moving, Team Hiking with the Exes ran in the Merrell Mud Run in Folsom. There were a few things I wanted to accomplish this year and this

wasn’t one of them…this was actually a Dan and Tabitha idea. Dan wanted to sign up for Tough Mudder which I believe is ran by the Marines and they have a

part that you run through live wires and face getting electrocuted. This wasn’t my idea of ‘fun’. Tabitha wanted to sign up for the one that is in the middle of

the desert and again…I vetoed joining that one. We settled for a local one.
Lester came out to support me and take pictures (the one above) and I can’t tell you how much it meant to have him there. His smile when I crossed the finish

line made it all worth it. The smile of course was probably there because he knew he wasn’t going to have to stand around waiting anymore and that we would

be able to go home and get our nap.
I don’t ask him to come out to any of the silly things I do and I offer to take him out running with us, but he ever so sweetly declines. I do believe that he will

start hiking with me, if I hike and don’t run. (I’ll move him slowly into the running after a couple months)
The Mud Run was pretty neat though. I have an issue with large crowds, but I had to just ‘Let Go’ and focus on getting there and doing what I had signed up

for. When I got there and saw all the people and the mud pit I just had to laugh and say, “I really signed up and paid for this?” Tabitha was laughing because

it wasn’t any different than a typical weekend mind fuck. I looked at her and said, “this isn’t my thing.” She just rolled her eyes and said, “You haven’t even

done it yet!” It wouldn’t be a typical weekend mind fuck if I didn’t start complaining before we even got there.
It actually wasn’t any different than our weekend runs on the trail except crawling under the cargo net and through the tunnel. During the winter the mud pit

resembles an uphill stretch we climb when we are in training.
I did have a Tabitha moment during the run when I got over the cargo net and saw a fellow runner stuck on the top, one leg over and frozen with fear. The next

few minutes I stood there and coaxed him down. By coaxing I mean I was yelling at him military style telling him to MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT and telling

him that people were coming and that cargo net was going to get rocking. His best bet was to just fall off that damn thing than to just sit there. “You can do

this! You got this far! Look at you and where you have been!!! PUT THAT LEG OVER NOW!!!” and he did. He had pushed through that mental spot and got to

moving. I took off running after I saw he was okay. I heard his friend say a bit down the road “That’s the woman that got you over.” And him yell, “Thank

you!” I waved and ran into the water to get the first part of mud out of my bra.
All in all, it was a great day. I did what I set out to do, I started and I finished. The bonus part was helping a fellow runner out.

This week has been finally settling into my little world and getting ready for our vacation. Yes, I said vacation!!!
Lester and I have been talking about going scuba diving for a long time and we often thought of going to Monterey, but it’s too cold and not the diving we

want to do.
A couple weeks ago a bit of time opened up for both of us to drop everything and go scuba diving, so we booked it and have been counting the days.
We went to the scuba store and got some essentials. Got our suitcase in order for all our gear and tonight I will be packing up my clothes. I have 3 pairs of

shorts, a drawer full of tank tops and 2 pairs of flip flops. I’m going to also throw my trail shoes in there in hopes that when we finally come up for air that we

can get a couple short hikes in. I’ll be happy if all we do is scuba dive, but since I have been to Maui two other times and did nothing other than scuba diving

I would love to see something else on the island. I can’t wait to get back into to the water and see that magical world.

Okay, time to unpack another box.

Alooooooooooo-ha!

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10
Oct
Iowa Hill
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


IMAG0098, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
We have been running Steven’s trail on the other side of the canyon most of this year. It’s a ten mile trail and it’s mostly all sun exposure, which means if

your ass doesn’t hit that trail running at 6am you will be coming back up that incline in full fun for 2 hours…and you will die. This is the trail that snapped my

will and broke my spirit. It also made me the strong trail runner I feel I am today.
Yesterday we finally did the other side of the canyon and it was like night and day but with just as much intensity. This trail is under the most beautiful trees.

It’s completely shaded all the way to the river. The very, very, very cold river.
This weekend I was going to devote my Sunday to cleaning out my garage, but decided I wanted to do something fun instead. I woke up in a great mood and I

was ready to get moving. Tabitha wasn’t going to go running because she wasn’t feeling good and Dan was pretty tired from his day trip to the beach. I was on

my own. Within minutes everything went to shit and we all decided it was time to just lace up and get on the trail.
The road just to get to the trail head was insane. It’s a one lane road with blind corners all the way up, so without saying, for eight and half miles my anxiety

level was off the charts. We pulled up into this very small town and for a minute we started to worry. Most of the time where we go, there are no people and so

we don’t have too worry to much about people knowing how long our car is unattended.
We went inside in the store and the people there were so very nice. The grandson came out and walked us down to the official start of the trail because for the

first 500 feet of this trail it cuts through the backyard of his grandma’s home. “No worries, even the Forestry guys couldn’t find the trail.” This was reassuring.

We had decided that before we even left the house that this was going to be a hike and not a trail run, not a training run, not a push-push-push run…we were

going to go back to what we started and just hike it. That lasted about 600 yards in and then we started the run. It actually felt good because it FELT like a very

mellow decline all the way. There were parts of the trail that were covered in very wet, slippery moss and we would have to walk it out until we got to another

opening where the running could start up again. There were so many times that I would be running and see Dan or Tabitha stopped looking over the edge of

the cliff and I knew that the view was going to be breathtaking and I wasn’t wrong. The water that was miles below was this amazing color of blue and green

because of the minerals in the water. It was hard to believe that was our destination.

We found our spot and before eating I knew that it didn’t matter how cold the water was, I was going to get in and swim. It took a few minutes before my body

could adapt to the freezing water, but as soon as I could get my upper body in and dunk I could get out.
“Tabitha, you have to try this.” I said after making my way back to shore.
She just laughed at me and said, “There is NO way you would catch me in that freezing ass water unless I was chasing a million dollars!” I just laughed

because I had to agree…this water was the kind of cold you couldn’t be in more than a minute at a time without your muscles freezing up. She said, “Crazy

has a face, and I am looking at it.”

The trip back up was going to be one I was going to have to run because my legs were frozen and I was going to have to get my muscles warmed back up. I

did good for about a mile before the novelty of it wore off and I was done. Two and half miles left and the incline that didn’t feel so bad going down, was a

bitch coming back up.

I have to say though, It was my favorite trail and I did better than I have done in a long time and I was proud of it.

We went inside the store/bar when we finally made our way back up and the people that ran that place was a wealth of history information on the whole town

and the trail. We sat around for about 30 minutes looking at historical pictures, having some of her amazing soup and drinking a beer.

We got back into town, I jumped in the shower and made my way to the ice rink in time to watch Lester’s hockey game.

Today…I’m a little sore, but so happy that my hip didn’t go out and I’m not nursing that pain today. Okay, I’m REALLY sore….and I am walking like a old

woman. SO WORTH IT.

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