Thursday, September 20, 2012
2008: April - June
08
Apr
Jenelle’s Hopeopotamus
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: hope
Because I am really trying to do too many things, I’ve taken on another thing.
It’s been something I have been sitting on for awhile now, and it’s time to throw it out there and see if it will stick.
Remember Blog Frog? The poor guy that got lost somewhere out there in the world after visiting many homes? It was a Sue and Charlotte creation.
Well, I have new blog frog that I am sending to Sue and Charlotte to start up again.
Why am I not doing it? Because I am doing something for one of the most important little bloggers. Well, she doesn’t blog, but her mom does for her.
Perhaps you’ve heard of her? Kelly, from Jenelle’s journey. Jenelle suffers from a rare form of Epilepsy called Lennox Gastaut Syndrome.
For my birthday a couple years ago, the girls bought me a ‘build a bear’ Hippo. They called it the Hopeopotamus.
I am going to send Hope to Jenelle and her mom is going to get lots of pictures of Hope and their week long adventure and send it on to the next person on
the list. The next person will get to read the information about epilepsy, put a entry in the journal to Jenelle to have when she gets it back in 6 months. While
Hope is with you, we just want you to take pictures, become a bit more aware and send it to the next person. If you want, you can add to the box (not too big
though, it’s going to be traveling) and everything that is added will be a gift for Jenelle.
If you’re interested in having a Hippo in your house for a week, please send me your home address at randomandodd at gmail dot com.
You have to promise a few things:
1. You will write something for Jenelle in her journal
2. You will take the time to read what Kelly adds (or go visit Jenelle’s blog for awhile) and become more aware.
3. You WILL MAIL IT OFF to the next person ONE WEEK LATER and get a ‘tracking’ number.
That’s it.
I’m starting it off this week by sending it with the girls and having them learn more about Jenelle and how she inspires hope like no one I’ve ever known.
Hopefully when the kids at school ask why they have a stuffed animal with them, they can share their hope for Jenelle.
Pictures to follow.
Interested?
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06
Apr
Whateverrrrrrrr
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
“That is the gayest scene in any movie…EVER.”
Oh well. I must be gay.
You gay too?
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05
Apr
Duuuuude, I need to clean my house…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Okay, it’s not MY house.
www.prestoncastle.com
We took pictures there today. Going out again tomorrow. Then again on Friday when the Ghost Hunters are there.
Envious? Yeah, me too. *tingles*
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04
Apr
I can’t take a picture this well.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Elephant can paint
I don’t think I have ever seen anything more amazing than this elephant painting a self portrait.
It sort of makes me feel like the biggest idiot. This elephant can paint and I can’t get my dog to stop drinking out of the toilet.
Towards the end of this amazing video, Alyx says; “Yeah, but can he paint a monkey?”
Comment me back and tell me if you think at the end, if the damn thing is just showing off.
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03
Apr
Stuff Portrait Friday
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
Triangle.
This is actually is a very special triangle that hold the girls, ‘Magic Rocks’. Some of them are bought at stores, some are sent to them from people in different
states or picked up by friends at the beach. Each one of them is ‘magic’ somehow.
The ‘Triange’ was given to me years ago from Mary. I don’t let the kids play with it, because its’ glass and very fragile. To them it’s just as special, but for a
different reason.
The background (Which has Triangles) was given to me by my friend Lisa. It brings my whole bedroom together when I have my Ikea bedding on. You can’t
actually use the pillow unless you like your face to have imprints on it when you wake up, but damn it’s pretty.
(Working on changing the layout of Random and Odd — It’s going to be a huge change so don’t be surprised if you come by in the middle of some random
design change…just bear with me until I say, “I’m DONE!!)
Soooooo…..Did you play?
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03
Apr
As if…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: tyler
Later the same night that I posted the last entry, Tyler comes bursting into my room and going straight for my clean towels.
“Tyler! What are doing?”
“I’m getting a towel.” He looks at me like he’s about to say, “Here’s your sign.”
“WHY?” My voice has risen to the level that only dogs can hear.
“Because the dog barfed on the floor.”
Uh. Straight A student. Honor roll. Advanced classes. Complete idiot.
“WHY ARE YOU USING MY CLEAN TOWELS TO CLEAN IT UP?” I can’t even understand my own voice anymore.
and then he does something that changes every fiber in my being. HE looks at ME, like I am the stupidest person in the whole world. His eyebrows pinch
together so tightly as if he is worried about my mental health because If I just asked that question, there must be something truly and deeply wrong all the way
to my core.
He shakes his head at me, throws up his arms and says SO matter of fact, “Because there are NO dirty towels to use.”
Of course. Silly me. Use my clean towels to clean up dog barf.
I was just going to use it to clean up after sex anyway.
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01
Apr
Open Letter to the Boy,
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: tyler
Do you remember 2 months ago when we all sat down and went over the ‘towel’ issue we were having? You know, the one where ALL the towels end up in your
room, under all your stinky, teenage funk? Do you remember the solution we came up with? The one where we all get our own towels, we use that towel, we
hang it up and after a couple of uses we then wash our own towels?
I thought it was all going quite well until this morning when you snuck into my room and tried to take one of the towels that is MINE. The one I used the night
before, dried my body with, hung up on the rack and left to use again.
So apparently the thought of using one of my used towels isn’t enough to get you to use and wash your own towels, I am going to throw this out there:
All the towels in MY room, be they on the floor, hung up or even folded under my bathroom cabnet…all those towels…in MY room…have been used to clean
up after hot, steamy love making between your father and I.
Hopefully that mental image of all those towels you have been stealing from my room and wiping your clean body with will get you to think twice before you
break the ‘towel rule’.
And if that doesn’t work, from this point on, I am going to start sleeping in the nude with no covers, so when you sneak into my room in the morning to steal
the towels, socks or whatever else your heart desires…You do NOT know what your innocent eyes will have to see. I will not pay for the therapy you will need
to erase those images.
Alrighty then, have a good week Boy.
Love,
Kristine
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19
Apr
Me, My mother, her mother and her mother before her…I’m certain.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: The Fonz
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER FOR MY EDUCATION
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My mother taught me IRONY
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times.
Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
–thank you Mrs.Craig for this.
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19
Apr
Sha-Right…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: ex, My Brats
This week was one of those that you feel like you’re just ‘going through it’.
Shea was in the health office on Thursday at 9 am. When my insomniatic ass woke up at 11 am, I rushed to the school to check on her. “Is she okay?” the
receptionist who has been there for as many years as I have had kids there, said, “Yeah, she said she had a headache and her stomach hurt. I told her to
come back after lunch and if she didn’t feel better.”
AND FOR SOME REASON, maybe because of the lack of sleep, I said, “Yeah, she probably just had a hangover. I told her to chill out on the Tequila shooters
last night, but you know 9 year olds, they never listen.”
Then the most wonderful thing happened. SHE LAUGHED.
I made the woman at the front desk who I have never even seen SMILE, LAUGH. She even got that it was a JOKE and didn’t threaten to call CPS on me. There
is hope for this yuppy town after all.
Today we drove to Redding to see Ryan’s last play. He was awesome, of course.
After the first act, Kara said, “Mom, check out that woman in the third row. She looks like Tori Spelling’s mom.”
I tried to remember what Tori Spelling’s mom looked like, then one look at the woman sitting there I said, “Ohhh, from the show noTorious?” Yeah. sort of
looked like Loni Anderson.
Now, I need to tell you a little story about our LISTS. You know what LIST I am talking about right? On Shaun’s list somewhere near the top is Brooke Shields.
One night we went to see a movie and Shaun says to me out in the lobby, “That’s Brooke Shields.” I looked. Yep, sorta looked like her, but HELLO, we are in
Sacramento…why in God’s name would she be sitting in the lobby of a run down movie theater? So what did I do? I made fun of him. I even called my sister
and mocked him..”Shaun thinks he saw Brooke Shields! HA HA HA. What a loser!”
The next day Shaun sends me an article. Hmmm. Go figure, Brooke Shields was filming a movie near by.
I will NEVER live that down.
After a few more urgings, I go to Ryan’s mom, “Kara thinks the woman in the 3rd row is Loni Anderson.” She reluctantly says, “Yeah. It is. Her granddaughter
is in the play.”
OMG.
Jennifer Marlow from WKRP is sitting 4 rows ahead of me. Not Loni Anderson, the one married to my mother’s hunka hunka burnin’ love, Burt Reynolds…but
JENNIFER from WKRP. How bad did I want her to say, “Hold Please.”
I didn’t plan on talking to her but she was standing in the lobby as we were walking out and I had very loudly announced, “Marina it’s okay to tell him you
think he’s cute! No really, Rina…go back in there and give him your number!” It was right about there in front of Loni Anderson that she turned around and
did the grunt and foot stomp that meant, “OMG…YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME!” and I laughed and said loudly, “It’s these moments that make being the
mother of a teenager worth wild!” and then standing RIGHT THERE was Loni being all cute and giggling at the fact that I was embarrassing my teenage
daughter. I didn’t think she would be standing IN THE LOBBY, because HELLO…she’s Loni Anderson and Loni Anderson doesn’t just stand in a lobby of a
run down building. But she was. And she giggled at me. I suddenly felt like a moron, but didn’t let Marina get that sort of gratification.
And now comes the question; “You got a picture, right?”
No.
I figured FOR ONCE I would leave the cameras at home and let Dan take pictures with his Nikon D40 that he’s getting use to. I asked him as we were leaving,
“Did you get a picture of Loni Anderson?” I think he blushed. He might have had flashbacks to his teenage years and the posters in his room. Regardless he
couldn’t remember how to work the damn thing.
So no, but we have a bunch of Ryan…and those are WAY more important.
Comments (7) // Add Comment
18
Apr
and then a hero comes along.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety, Dashababy, friends, hope, Letters, My Brats, Shaun, stuff portrait friday, The Fonz
This week Stuff Portrait Friday is Hero. I had several days to think on it and as the hours came down to minutes, I realized that if you have been reading this
blog for anytime, you know who my heroes are.
1. My Mother: You know that saying, “you’ve come a long way,baby.”? I’m pretty sure that was made up for her. Her road isn’t a road I would wish on anyone.
I wish over and over she could see how proud of her that I am. To see her at rock bottom and not only pull herself up, but bring those around up with her is
awesome.
2. My sister: I get googled, kid you not, EVERY SINGLE DAY for this entry. I’m not sure if someone just likes reading it, or if there are people out there that are
writing letters to their sisters and need a little help. I’m pretty sure they can’t say the same things about their sister as I can say about mine. She’s special. I’m
her only sister and she makes sure that means something.
3. Martin Luther King Jr.: His words. My world changed when I began reading his words. The way he looked at people and their actions made all the sense in
the world to me. How could we not all live in THAT world he describes with such passion? To live your life with drive and ambition for GOOD and love.
These are the people you know are my heroes.
There are other people in my life that are too. My brother, Barry. (dorky one in the back) My brother, Jerry (dorky one to my right) and my dorky brother,
Michael (not in picture) and the people that love them. Today my brother Michael turns 41. To me, he’s still 10. He’s still that mean ass brother that picked
on me and also made sure that my first day of school I wasn’t crying the whole time. He would peak through the window of my class on his recess break to
make sure I was okay. My husbands; Ex and Current. Shit, they put up with me. Do you know how much restraint that must take them?
My friends; Really, come on…you think you have to hear me bitch? You get the Cambells soup version of what they have to hear. My husband’s ex-wife; We
take turns being the evil one. I think today was my day. Sorry, Tabitha. Old friends that no matter what I did or said to them STILL love me. You have no idea
what your forgiveness means to me.
So who’s my hero? Me.
It’s who all those people that I love SO much and look up to would want me to call my hero. Myself.
It’s who I want my daughters to call their hero. Themselves.
Noooooo, they certainly didn’t have it as bad as that group of people in the picture that share a last name. NOT EVEN CLOSE. If not getting to go on the ‘East
Coast Trip’ or getting your cell phone taken away is as bad as it gets, count yourself lucky.
I’m a survivor. I didn’t do it alone. I’ve had hundreds of hands (my family…and YOURS) pick me up and dust me off. At the end of the day, I have to live this
life the best way I know how. I think I might be doing okay.
Now, I am going to force myself to go to sleep because tomorrow I am going with Dan and the kids to Redding to watch my step son in his last play of his
high school career. Ryan hasn’t been my ‘official’ step son for the last 8 years, but that doesn’t change my love for him and how I will always support him in
no matter what he does in life. It also means I will need to take about 6 xanax to be able to sit with his mother who thinks I am satan in a pair of flip flops.
So, who’s your hero? You picked me huh? Yeah…I thought so. DID YOU PLAY???
Comments (21) // Add Comment
16
Apr
Why I haven’t been talking
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Because when I open my mouth, I complain. I bitch. I burst into tears.
When I start typing my fingers get angry and I start to curse like a drunken sailor.
When I am awake I am pissed and gazing turns into glaring.
When everyone in the room is out to get me and drive me mad.
I read something today that pretty much sums up 85% of my mood:
Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
Am I wrong?
For those of you with small children or ‘tweens’. This is my advice to you:
1. If you’re not friends with your parents, MAKE UP NOW, because when those little bastards turn 14 you’re going to want to send them to live with your
parents. Start kissing major ass now, you’ll want their help.
2. Start digging a bigggggg ass hole somewhere below your house, one that no one knows about. In this big hole, install television, running water, plumbing
and a fridge. No, you will not send your children to live there, YOU WILL LIVE THERE! You will go to this happy place that has a lock and all the stuff you
don’t want your kids to remove from your room. Do not tell the children about this room. If you’re not in home, you’re not home. They don’t need to know
where you are. Hell, tell them you’re at the casino. It works for me. I just go drive around the corner, sit in my car and cry. The poor officer that use to come to
make sure I hadn’t broke down just brings me coffee, chocolate and more cigarettes.
3. They don’t flunk kids anymore. Nope. they give them ‘NM’ no marks. Because how do you become a California Distinguished school if you have failing
kids. It looks better than an F. By the time YOUR kids are grown up they won’t have grades, they will have colors to represent what ‘grade’ they have…or
maybe just symbols of fruits. Who knows, but God forbid they don’t get the funding they need (and they need it) if a student is FLUNKING. Do they even use
that word anymore? I don’t think it’s politically correct. “OMG, my child has FOUR ORANGES!” what the hell????
4. Don’t get your kids thinking that if they don’t listen you can take it away. That doesn’t work. You lose the ‘cool mom’ status to the ‘omg, your mother is
raging bitch’ status. Of course, it’s the parents fault. OF COURSE it’s my fault, I didn’t do my kids homework for them last night AND HAND IT IN FOR THEM.
5. Do you want me to go on with my angry fingers typing?
So, now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go nail some jelly to a tree.
Comments (27) // Add Comment
15
Apr
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Thank you, Diane. She sends me the funniest cartoons. This one made me laugh out loud. If you have teenage daughters, you have to know what this feels
like.
Also…I uploaded a video of Jeremiah telling us what song he wants to hear. It’s his new favorite song. Go check it out, guess which song he’s trying to get us
to play for him. I’ll then upload the video of him SINGING it.
Comments (11) // Add Comment
15
Apr
Fly away? *fingers crossed*
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
I’m waiting for this HUGE email from a friend about a job offer.
HUGE as in leaving California for 4 days and shooting documentary style.
HUGE as in being on television.
HUGE as in walking outside of my comfort level.
Also, how many hours of time NOT shooting and drinking and catching up with an old friend?
spf: HERO
My hero is my mom and sister. That’s not a big surprise, so I will try to surprise you with something else.
Comments (8) // Add Comment
11
Apr
thank u
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety, ex
There is this song by Alanis Morisette that I heard one night while sitting in my garage trying to piece together what was left of my sanity.
Every time I hear the song, I remember that moment in time (2003) and how confused and scared I was. The song actually allowed me to get up and move
again.
I have been wanting to post it and give what I am ’thankful’ for.
how bout getting off these antibiotics
For me, this meant…there were things I was trying to do to ’heal’ myself and it was all the wrong things.
how bout stopping eating when I’m full up
Or how about stopping eating before I am so full I am sick.
how bout them transparent dangling carrots
I kept doing things, thinking that if I did it thier way, everyone would be happy. I kept falling for that trick. I still do.
how bout that ever elusive kudo
How many times do I have to keep doing those same things thinking people will notice and say, “Wow Kristine, great job.” No matter what it was, personal or
business.
thank you india
Meditate
thank you terror
Remember to be prepared.
thank you disillusionment
Nothing is what it seems. NOTHING.
thank you frailty
I too can get hurt.
thank you consequence
Do unto others and you would have done unto you.
thank you thank you silence
These moments alone in my garage is exactly what I need.
how bout me not blaming you for everything
It’s not all your fault. I take blame.
how bout me enjoying the moment for once
The next moment when I get up and leave is always what was I was thinking, with anyone.
how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
We couldn’t be where we are today if I didn’t.
how bout grieving it all one at a time
I was spending days, months and years grieving for something that didn’t need to be grieved for anymore.
thank you india
It’s okay to dance, chant and sing for no reason.
thank you terror
Be grateful for the safety you have RIGHT NOW.
thank you disillusionment
My parents had their own problems, they weren’t mine. They weren’t my fault.
thank you frailty
Being knocked down makes you look at being able to stand on your feet in a whole new light.
thank you consequence
There is a bed and you will make it and you will ’lie’ in it.
thank you thank you silence
Don’t talk, just listen.
the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down
This was the part that reached in and shook me. I knew I was holding on to something bigger than I was. If I could just get past that and let go, I would be
given something healthy to replace it.
Being able to ’jump off of it’ allowed me to open up to not being in control of the situation and that allowed me to feel like I was standing on my own two feet.
how bout no longer being masochistic
I beat the living shit out of myself, mentally.
how bout remembering your divinity
Find that little girl who could talk to God and listen back.
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
Yes, hearing this let me know that it was okay to just let it out for no reason.
how bout not equating death with stopping (i heard starving)
The use of words here. How often do we say ’starving’ and there is a chance that no one will ever know what it truly means to ’starve’ even close to death.
Show respect with the words you use.
What a strange time in my life. I am so grateful to have this memory so vivid. It’s a reminder of who I am and how I got ’here’.
I no longer have dangling carrots. I am working on the other ones…
Comments (17) // Add Comment
11
Apr
SPF: BAD!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
Yes, you read that correctly…Found Camera. At visitor center.
That is my SPF: BAD. My bad day ended with, “Kristine, where’s the other camera?”
“In the case.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“no.”
and then after checking the van…the freaking out began. It started with trying to remember every single detail of the photo shoot. Where, when, how did we
set down a camera and NOT PICK IT BACK UP?
Shaun drove the 40 minute drive in about 10. It wasn’t where I thought it would be. He said he walked to the last location and on a rock was a note.
During the minutes that felt like hours I wept, I cursed at myself, my heart exploded in my chest 4 times, I cursed more, I shook, I pulled out the remaining
bits of hair. I poked my eyeballs out and yelled, “I am not worthy!”
When he called me, I couldn’t believe it. There ARE honest people out there. I am still a moron, but there are good people out there.
I mean, what would you do if you found a Nikon D70 just sitting there?
SOOOOOOO, did you play???
Comments (28) // Add Comment
09
Apr
REALLY BAD DAY!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety
You know when you say, “How can it get any worse?” DON’T.
I’m going to leave out the doozies of why today sucked kiwis…because I can’t even talk about it without wanting to vomit.
Mortgage/lender company: I googled them. OMG…everything I am going through has been a complaint by someone else going all the way back to 2005! I
counted 18 people that had the same problem before I had to stop reading.
Copyright: Somehow the copyright thing on this blog got mixed up with someone else. So that means the guy who designed this site isn’t getting credit. It
was the people who the copyright it SAYS on here emailed me and said, ‘this isn’t ours’. Now I am at a loss to find the original designer. I googled the hell
out of the name of the template and can’t find it. I remember going through hundreds of templates and pages before I found one that worked and it will take
me a life time to try to remember what I googled to find it in the first place. Anyone know? I hate using a template that is owned by someone else and them
not having credit for it. It sickens me.
***UPDATE***
SHE found ME!! I was so happy! After about 2 hours of talking, I made a great new friend! Anyone that has a wordpress theme and you want to spruce that
sucker up (yes, I mean you!) PLEASE go check out her site: http://bloggingzone.info/
She’s just starting out and needs her name on YOUR blog. You really should try one of her templates. If you need help, I will do my best to help you! Of
course, I screwed something up and she’s helping me fix it. She’s super nice, helpful, kind…and REAL. And helllllloooo the talent she has.
Tomorrow we should have the REAL link to her site on my blog…and possibly a button if I can sweet talk her.
Even if you’re not looking for a wordpress theme…go check her out.
Comments (9) // Add Comment
09
Apr
why i haven’t quit smoking
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety, Dashababy, Random
I wrote an email to my sister that contained somewhere between 20 to 30 cuss words. Each one of those cuss words starting with “F” and ending in ‘ING’ or
‘ED’ or ‘ER’.
I hit send at around 7 am; meaning I had to get THAT worked up before 7 F*ing AM!
Come here, Phillip Morris…hold me.
Comments (4) // Add Comment
26
Apr
need internets help
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I’m lame at looking things up and all that crap.
I need your help.
Shaun is making this website as a practical joke. On a website he’s been a part of more years than I have known him, they have this new guy. He asked a
stupid question a few months back. Shaun, being the joker he is came up with a smart ass comment and all the old tymers have followed suit and now it’s
turned into this full blow practical joke.
He now has made it his personal mission in life to make it look real.
What I need is a way to get in contact with SOMEONE who know the agent or publicist to Will Ferrell. I just need a email address or hell, if anyone is buddy-
buddy with anyone that knows Will Ferrell, have him shoot me an email. It’s a long shot, but worth a shot for the common good of a huge practical joke.
I’ve searched the publicist, but can’t find the companies official web page. The only other Will Ferrell website I could find has not been updated since 2001.
Anyone?
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25
Apr
this.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
this will be lamest post i ever make…i mean, outside of the one where i drunk in the hotel room. so yeah. no kids. cheap wine. husband asleep. damn it.
and with that, i conclude this post.
Comments (6) // Add Comment
25
Apr
Throwing in the Towel for SPF
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: photography, stuff portrait friday
This is what is has come to. Our 3 cameras are now safely placed in our Pelican case and in order to take a half way decent picture, we now have to get into
the case, pull everything out and assemble it. Alright, it only takes a few minutes, but the work of actually taking everything out and making sure it’s safe (and
not left in a bad part of town) is getting to be a hassle that I don’t even take pictures anymore.
When I pulled out Sherman (the d300 tank) and snapped the shot, I got that tingly feeling again…that satisfying release of the shutter sound. Waves of
happiness as I was taking a picture…of a towel.
It’s my reminder that I will take more pictures this weekend and next week. I do need more suggestions for the upcoming weeks of Stuff Portrait Friday.
Please. I have some, but need more. When you leave a comment, please add at least one thing you would like to take a picture of in the upcoming weeks. The
person who calls it, gets a little something and a direct linky to their site so they can brag about picking the theme. I know, I’m reaching. Shut up.
In other news…dooce is going to be on Good Morning America. Many of us know each other from stalking each other on her comments about 3 years ago.
It’s Cray-ON though. Gotta side with reality.
AND in even BIGGER news…I made it on Urban Dictionary dot com for my lovely, little description of ‘internet balls’. The honor is overwhelming and I can’t
go into description of the ghetto urban dance I did when I saw it there. I’m hoping that they send me some bling and big hat I can wear sideways. *shit, I am
so yuppie suburban that sentence didn’t even make sense to me*
and sidenote: i uh..i’m going to Kaiser’s radiology department tomorrow for some tests. little prayer. just little ones. please.
Okay, stalkers…did you play?
Comments (29) // Add Comment
24
Apr
Stuff. Portrait. Friday. Reminder.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Friday April 25th: TOWELS
This one is easy. We all have towels. Now how do you make your towels ‘picture worthy’. How do you plan to model your towels? Hanging, folded, crumpled,
close up, far away, on a dripping wet body of a sexy human? You might want to start taking shots of those towels so you can find the way you like them. I
know I will be. I mean, come on…it’s TOWELS…how do we make them ‘picture worthy’??
I feel like a zombie. I didn’t sleep the night before last and only got 3 hours sleep last night. Today Alyx is home sick and I am watching “Grease” with her.
Because watching 412 times wasn’t enough, I need to watch it ONE MORE TIME.
To make sure I don’t pass out, I keep pulling up pictures of the actresses and actors from the movie and how they look now. It’s cruel, but I am finding some
humor in it.
And as I type I am in the most awkward position as my daughter, who is all about questions….is watching the “Grease Lightning” song. Please, please, don’t
ask me what he just said. Do you think she will believe “Pushy Wagon”? Make sense… “It’s a real pushy wagon…”
Comments (3) // Add Comment
24
Apr
Vote
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Guess what? I’m asking for something…and it’s FREE!
Can you please go vote for Dream House by the woman who designed Random And Odd?
Click Here – Vote Dream House by Ophelia.
Comments (9) // Add Comment
23
Apr
Thank you for your words…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I needed it today.
Okay, next thing that has me all in tissy; This whole FLDS thing and CNN running it. Today on CNN, they ran pictures from a website from the group of
people, and I am leaving their beliefs and religion out of it 100%, in this post, they are just PEOPLE, lots of people living in a really big house…asking for
donations to help with their legal fees.
Normally this isn’t a big deal.
Remember, I am leaving beliefs and religion out of this, 416 children were removed from their homes. These mothers must go to court to fight to get them
back. Many of us have had to fight for custody of our children. We’ve been down that road. Now…these women, they get a chunka chunka cash from the
government for WELFARE. Yeah. I about choked when I read that. I can’t even calculate the amount of money these people get per child, per month on a
calculator. My guess, and I am just GUESSING here, there is a chance they MIGHT know who the father is. Why is the state not going after the fathers for the
support that the government has to pay out in welfare? I’ve never been on welfare so I don’t know how it works, but to my limited knowledge…I believe you
have to state who the father is when you file for welfare. The father is then gone after for the amount of money that is being used per child.
So, um. They are asking tax payers to help pay to get their children back. *raising eyebrow* Does this sound weird? Am I just sleep deprived? Because, um,
honestly…if it were just me and not hundreds of me, If I had to go to court to get my kids back…I WOULD SELL MY HOUSE! My house wouldn’t get me very
far, but I don’t live on nearly 2,000 acres with mills, churches, doctor’s offices and A FRIGGIN CASTLE.
AAAAAaaand. and! They are reported somewhere saying they don’t believe in ‘the internet’. It’s evil…and crayons are too. YET, they are using the internet to
ask for moneyyyyyy. They don’t believe in our ‘government’, yet they take the government checks? My head just exploded.
Please remember, I could care less about how they want to live, I believe in all sorts of marriage. I think people should be able to marry who ever they want;
man, woman, woman, woman, man, man. We all should have the legal right to be as miserable as the next person. If the men there want to marry more than
one woman…more misery to you. I do believe if it’s straight marriage, gay marriage, multiple marriage…they should claim their children and take care of
them. protect them.
And the icing on the top of the web page was the ‘Damages’ that was caused by the government when they came in to get the children.
PUH-FRIGGIN-PLEASE! My CHILDREN have done more damage than that on a light day! Sweet Jesus, if you’re complaining about paint on the sidewalk,
messy rooms and taken ladders….DUDE, come take my damn kids for a week! You will be pulling out your unibrow the first morning you go to get towels AND
THERE ARE NONE! When you try to find your toothbrush AND IT’S GONE.
And that first morning when you wake up to my son going through your closet and looking at you saying, “Do you have any socks I can borrow?”
Don’t call me to come get them.
Comments (17) // Add Comment
23
Apr
it’s 5am…i must angry.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I’m going to start this post with the image of me knocking my hand as hard as I can over and over again into the biggest piece of wood I can find.
It’s been a long time since I’ve opened my email box and found anything other than something nice, words of wisdom and questions on ‘how do you do it?’
Thank you. Not that I really took the crap emails too seriously, but it’s nice they aren’t there anymore. I’m guessing that people are FINALLY not taking me
seriously or the hit-man club I hired is doing it’s job.
Recently I was reading a friend’s blog where she goes into the terrifying story of her being assaulted and robbed at gun point. In her comments, someone had
the nerve to ask her if she had done something really bad in her past life. AS IF someone that was attacked at gun point needs to hear that? Because she did
something bad in her “past life” that she deserves what happened to her?
I like to call mean, hateful words spilled on the internet by people who like to stir shit up, “Internet Balls”. Yes, I said, Internet Balls. It’s currently under
review by the editors of Urban Dictionary dot com for submission. I wonder if it will fly?
Words are the most precious gift we have. We can build people up, offer support, write something that changes our world, or changes the life of a perfect
stranger. Why anyone would want to use that gift to beat someone up?
*throwing up hands* Yes, I am guilty. No, I have never anonymously left a message on someone’s website and bashed them. I have bashed my ex-husband
here. Most of the time it’s done out of love, but yes, he pisses me off. Let it be known, when I do write something about him, he is warned and told to either
read or or shut up.
A few months ago I called Shaun’s ex a drama-queen. Well, in my defense, I didn’t call her a drama-queen…I said I knew she was going to get all ‘drama’ on
something that happened out of my control. So, what did I do? I called her and told her, “Dude, I called you a drama-queen. I know you’re going to hear
about it and I wanted you to hear it from me first.” She laughed and asked me why and we talked about it.
Don’t get me wrong, we have talked our share of shit. We don’t always see eye to eye. We can ride each other’s nerves to no end. But, I would like think that if
she had something crappy about me she needed to say, she would say it to her best friend. I would hope that she wouldn’t post it on the internet for the world
(and the children) to see. And yes, we are both guilty of it, but we have apologized and moved on. We are adults. *laughing* okay, whatever.
Today I read something that went beyond anything I can comprehend. As a reminder, I do not live in a world where everything is happy and fluffy. My life is
not perfect. What you read here is not my ENTIRE life and I leave SO much out, not because it’s nobodies business, but because Shaun gets all pissy and
eyebrows crawl into his forehead if I do anything that can be construed as ‘drama’ or ‘starting shit’. In the last 4 years, I have to admit…it’s worked. If I
manage to keep compacting my emotions and the things I feel I have a right to say; you know JAMMING the hurt down so it will keep the peace…
EVERYTHING will be ALRIGHT. You are no stranger to my sarcasm, are you?
He HAD a point though. “If you don’t feed it…it will go else where to find what it’s looking for.” So I just ignored it and like a starving raccoon, it did leave us
alone.
Until of course, the little thing gets hungry again and decides it doesn’t matter if I will answer the door, it’s going to bust in the damn thing and go all rabies
on our asses.
I should stop with the animal references. I am confusing myself and I will be blamed for calling someone a rabies filled raccoon.
Our family is hurting. We have, in a sense, lost a family member. No one died, but it feels like it. We mourned the loss and then moved on. Even after the
mourning process we all still wondered why we had to lose that part of the family. It hurts. Even after the horrible words that were said to me, I still worried
about them.
As the months passed, we had truly gotten over it and moved on with our lives. If someone doesn’t want to have anything to do with us, so be it.
And then out of the blue…we are faced with horrible words.
Guess who got thrown under the train? Yep, me. Why? I don’t know. I had NOTHING to do with anything. Did I say, “Yeah, I understand. I hurt for you as
well.” when someone mentioned the pain of the loss? Yes, I did. Because of this, I was the target of a horrible attack. I was called out and in a BAD and UGLY
way…publicly, where my children can read.
Shaun’s heart is broken in a million pieces over this. It is something I have been struggling with since it was brought to my attention. No one should ever
have to hear, “You have to read this…No, actually, don’t…it’s not good.” about themselves. No one should they have to defend themselves to strangers…let
alone family.
This person said she wasn’t going to lose sleep over any of this. Well, it’s 20 minutes to 5 am and i’m not sleeping. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I’m sad for my
husband and his children. I’m debating over if I should even hit ‘publish’ because, ‘God Kristine, this is EXACTLY what they want! They want you to get
upset!’ Too late, I am upset. I am PISSED AS HELL. In a personal attack email I was told ‘I start shit. I stir it up.’ I let it slide that time because I knew better
than to feed the raccoon, this time…not going to happen. You keep beating on the door, I will answer.
I’m tired of letting other people be my voice for me. I can say exactly what I want and this is what I want to say; leave me alone. I don’t want to have anything
to do with you. I won’t forget what you did or said about me. leave me alone. Don’t make people keep sending me the mean things you say about me. It’s
unprovoked attacks. I haven’t talked to you for two months. Happily, I haven’t had ANY drama for those 2 months. I haven’t written a single thing or said a
single thing for two months. leave me alone. what part of leave me alone do you not understand?
Forgive and Forget is what we are spose to do, right? I’m not ready to do either.
Like the Dixie Chicks said, “I ain’t ready to make nice.”
Comments (17) // Add Comment
22
Apr
once a year photo shoot
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Once a year I let Shaun take pictures of me. I’m thee worst model. He took a bunch of pictures and I deleted too many to count. I’m the worst smiler. I have
this fake smile that I can’t help but making. When I am not fake smiling, I am making THIS face. Pretty huh?
Those are not only the reasons I hate my picture taken. Teeth are jacked. Band-aids on my fingers. Muffin Top rolling over my pants. Double chins. Ass taking
a huge part of the picture. Do I need to keep going on or do you get it?
Those issues are not only ruining my modeling career. They are ruining my sex life. It wasn’t until Pissy and RSG were visiting that I even muttered those
words out loud. Since then, I have had this conversation with close friends and I found out I am not alone.
About 6 years ago I read this article about ‘What guys are really thinking about during sex’. The thing that made me feel better was; “We are not thinking about
how you look, we are just happy to be having sex’
Then I was faced with this question, ‘How can they not? this is what they look at see on tv, the internet, in magazines EVERY SINGLE DAY.’
So when I am laying there I am thinking, “If I lay on my back, it spreads out. If I am on my side it pools to the front. The tits look great like this, but the
stomach is going to look like I am pregnant.” I can’t help these thoughts. And the roaming hands…”Shit, he just felt the back fat. TURN OFF.”
Somewhere during this whole ‘warming up’ process I have lost consciousness because I tried sucking in all my junk and forgot to breathe.
I know i’m not alone. That’s comforting, but it’s not the thing I want to be thinking during *wiggling eyebrows*. “It’s okay, Kristine…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”
And that is your once in 3 years post about sex. Or the fear of nakedness.
*turning off light*
Comments (26) // Add Comment
21
Apr
Passionate…about Television? Really?
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
My blog designer, Ophelia is so awesome. I told you this already right? Okay, good.
We were sitting here today talking about television. It got me to wondering something: What television shows are you passionate about? I mean, if you had
to sit down and write something about nothing more than a television show, what show would you pick? Why?
Is there a whole network you like? Why?
*pulling out magic wand* LURKERS DE-LURK and post a comment. REGULARS…I need you to answer these questions.
Comments (64) // Add Comment
20
Apr
give me a description of something more painful than nails on a chalkboard.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
The girls were talking NON STOP about this show on MTV called Rock the Cradle. It’s the children of famous rock/pop stars. You would think this had the
possibility of being a super fantastic show. No.
Growing up in Shingletown meant I didn’t get MTV. I got The Lawrence Whelk Show, but not MTV. In order to get that channel, you had to have an 18 wheeler
haul in a satellite that looks like it needs to be orbiting the earth instead of trying to blend in with your backyard.
Since I never had it, I never really watched it…UNLESS I was in Redding for some reason and in that case I would find a way to spend quality time catching
up.
Luckily for me, the rock/pop stars I actually knew. What freaks me out is those stars have children, not that much younger than I am. In addition to the fact
that they have children…they have gotten older. It shows.
First off, Twisted Sister’s lead singer has a son on the show and the kid is actually pretty good. NOOOOT too hard on the eyes either. He’s talented, cocky…
and very sweet at the same time. Sadly his name is, Blaze.
Olivia Newton John’s daughter, Chloe- When you hear her speak, she sounds like any typical young American. (Was I sposta use comma’s there? Whatever.)
When she sings, she picks up this SUPER thick accent that I can’t quite place. It’s hideous. I’m going to leave the fact that her lips should be orbiting the
earth with a 1980′s satellite out of the equation.
Al B’ Sure’s son – lil b’…needs to just stop. He can’t sing. At all. Not a single note. HARSH? yeah. I know…I can’t sing either, but I am not going on stage
trying to sing either. Oh, and he thinks he is just ALL THAT and a box of garlic, mashed potatoes.
My favoritest person to hate is Joe Walshs’ daughter. When she realizes this singing thing is not in her foreseeable future, she needs to pick up a gig in
acting. Every time she sings it looks like she might be related to Susan Lucci. How does someone over act WHILE singing?
Crosby Loggins – Seriously. He looks more like Kenny Loggins than Kenny Loggins looks like Kenny Loggins. It’s freakishly deceiving how adorable he is.
Not sure if he can sing, but he has SOMETHING. Maybe it’s the crush I had on his dad. I’m not sure.
Bobby Brown’s son, Landon. – Wrong. Everything he sings turns to crack. He’s no Bobby B.
Simon Cowell from American Idol uses this term a lot; “You’re forgettable.” That would be the daughter of the guy that sang with the Doobie Brothers. You
want to yell at the TV, “OH GOD GIRL, just STOP!”
This show is PAINFUL to watch. I’m one of those people who was squirming around in her seat watching, “Meet the Parents” because I felt so bad for the
boyfriend. Watching this show is like watching a train wreck. I want to get out and help, but I have nothing to offer them, but my angry shouting of, “NO
MORE!”
You can actually watch the full episodes of this show. The best part is seeing the parents. If you’re horribly bored today, just go watch it.
If you watch it, comment. I would love to hear what your take is on it. Am I being to harsh?
Comments (12) // Add Comment
01
May
Preparing for Stuff Portrait Friday
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Shaun, stuff portrait friday
Me:”I was thinking about doing Sexual Healing…thus insuring I wouldn’t have to worry about having younger readers to my site ever again.”
Shaun: “or how about ‘Let’s See How Far We’ve Come’.” *wiggling eyebrows*
Me: “How about a picture of me and it could be, ‘The Last Beautiful Girl’.”
Shaun: “Or ‘Crazy’.”
Comments (5) // Add Comment
01
May
goodbye April..and now on to May, my favorite month. not.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Comments (7) // Add Comment
01
May
Clear this up for me…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
In Tony! Toni! Tone!’s song, “If I Had No Loot” there is a line that my sister and I have been trying to figure out for years, but after we heard it one way, it’s
nearly impossible to hear it any other way…
Through out the song, and in the beginning before the song starts, there is this echoey voice that says, or what I BELIEVE he says is, “And you can New Jack
Swing on my Nuts.”
anyone? I have no idea what a new jack swing is and why anyone would want to do it on someone’s nuts. anyone?
**UPDATE**
What did we do before Google? Did we all just walk around like idiots?
I got my answer:
There’s also the great Cube line “It ain’t no pop cuz that sucks / and you can new jack SWING on my nuts” which would later be sampled by Tony! Toni! Toné!
on “If I had no loot”.
Alrighty then, instead of SUCK IT, it is now: New Jack Swing on My Nuts!
Comment (1) // Add Comment
30
Apr
My Favorite Stuff Portrait Friday…EVER.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
This Friday will be my most favoritest of SPFs! This whole month of May it’s going to be dedicated to music.
May 2nd is A SONG TITLE
May 9th is YOUR MP3 PLAYER (or Ipod for those that can afford such niceness)
May 16th is A LYRIC FROM A SONG
May 23rd is (SELF or SOMEONE) YOU IN MUSIC (playing an instrument, dancing, getting ready for a dance getting into music..whatever)
May 30th- YOUR TRIBUTE
Each week I’ll give you an example so you’re not totally lost. For this weeks example visit the Stuff Portrait Friday page.
Comments (6) // Add Comment
30
Apr
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Prick.
Alright, I have a hat of things I want to talk about, and I keep writing and deleting. Writing and then deleting.
(i just wrote and deleted again)
Okay, *pursing lips*
I think. I think. Hmmmm.
I think my ex-husband’s best friend thinks it’s okay for to make comments about me because I had an affair that ended my marriage with his best friend.
They aren’t mean comments to me, but suggestive. As if, because I had an affair with my FIRST husband…that I might do it again.
It’s not okay.
Just because I ran my life head on into a brick wall ONCE, doesn’t mean I will do it again.
And there you go. Just ONE of the things that has made my day suck. Now I am off to find that tank top with the scarlet letter on it.
Comments (8) // Add Comment
29
Apr
if he wasn’t so cute…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Comments (7) // Add Comment
29
Apr
This cop MUST be related to me
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Shaun showed me this video and insisted that it’s my brother. I have to agree. Us Seguin’s are weird like this.
Click Here
Comments (4) // Add Comment
29
Apr
just can’t cry anymore
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: ex
I was asked a question today, “Where you happy you left?”
No. I have to answer that question as honestly as I possibly can. When I was married the first time and I stepped out of my first marriage, I did it the chicken
shit way out.
The song, “Landslide” has a lyric that said, “I built my life around you.” I did. I built my whole world around someone and a dream of what I thought I
wanted. Well, that landslide brought me down.
In the beginning of phases of me ‘losing my fucking mind’, I heard “Home” by Sheryl Crow. I don’t think she intended it to be the anthem of unhappily
married women around the world, but that was MY song. I listened to it and understood it on levels that NO ONE ELSE, EVER, EVER, would get. Yeah,
because I was the first unhappy person in a marriage, right?
I made a promise
Said it everyday
Now I’m reading romance novels
And I’m dreaming of yesterday
Those lyrics where soulfully sang by non other than my miserable self, over and over. I played the ‘what if’ game. “What if I had done THIS instead…” and
then let my mind roam down that path. That path was always better than the reality of where I was.
Someday, someday I was going to make it better. Then a year later, I would be sitting there singing again thinking to myself, “I thought I said ‘someday i was
going to make it better’? I should have done something then. I was more fired up then. Now I have one more reason to stay. I can’t afford to leave….I
wonder…what if….”
I’m going crazy
A little everyday
And everything I wanted
Is now driving me away
I woke this morning
To the sound of breaking hearts
Mine is full of questions
And it’s tearing yours apart…
“Was I happy I left?”
I am now. But honestly, there were whole hours, days and months that living in my own skin was unbearable. I wanted out so badly and then when I got out, I
was made to feel like this horrible person. Because I was ‘out’, I was no longer worthy of happiness.
It didn’t matter that I begged for help, for someone to talk to, a counceller, a therapist, anyone. It didn’t matter that it felt like my whole world was caving in
around my ears; but when his heart broke, then all the sudden the WHOLE WORLD listened and I was asked, “Why didn’t you just ask for help?”
This is something, even after all these years I battle with. If this is something you can relate to, please know you’re not alone. I was there. I hit that wall.
Someday, you will wake in the morning and say, “whoa…I think I might be okay today.”
Comments (6) // Add Comment
28
Apr
asc mortgage company. suck it.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
mortgage company. still fucking with me. if you ever felt the need to murder someone while they sleep, pick me.
Comments (9) // Add Comment
27
Apr
Spread The Word
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Hey everyone….Shaun here.
Think about what holidays we have. Seriously, look at the calendar and find a holiday that doesn’t involve a dead guy or remembrance of war. Tree Day isn’t
exactly a major event, and Earth Day meant you maybe put your beer cans in the correct trash can for one day of the year. Isn’t it time we had a FUN holiday
that wasn’t depressing and/or expensive? As you all read along and approvingly nod your heads, imagine being home with the ones you love (or even your
family) watching Old School, Elf, and Anchorman, maybe ordering a pizza. That’s be a pretty nice little holiday, actually.
So tell your friends and family to take a moment out of their lives to celebrate an American icon BEFORE he’s dead for a change. America…..I proudly
present Will Ferrell Day. Rejoice. Oh, and hit the video stores before you’re left choosing between ‘Bewitched’ and ‘Kicking and Screaming.’
Comments (8) // Add Comment
16
May
15 hours without power
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
Sorry everyone I missed SPF. The power went off around 6:30 pm last night and didn’t come back up until a few minutes ago.
I have had a total of 4 hours of non-air conditioned sleep. Did I mention how hot it is? It’s like triple digit hot. My bra has become nothing more than a sweat
catcher. z
Later on, after I sleep for a solid 2 hours, I will upload some pictures.
I’d ask if you played without me, but I know you did!
Comments (20) // Add Comment
15
May
Happy Birthday, Shea!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: shea
This was my baby girl, Shea before she was even a year old. Today, she turns TEN.
“When is your birthday again?”
“MOM! it’s TOMORROW!”
Today was spent driving around like a mad woman getting balloons, cake and bike.
Another birthday disaster narrowly avoided.
Happy Tenth birthday, to the little girl in that picture, how I will ALWAYS see you!
Comments (16) // Add Comment
14
May
I cried for an hour last night, and just burst into tears a minute ago.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
As you all know, I’m on a documentary binger. I have watched about 8 in the last week. I feel like my head is going to explode with all the stories, stills,
videos and words. The conflicting arguments anger me and I have remember the number of sides to the coin and must remain objective at all times. Glen
Beck, you SUCK! sorry. still learning objectivity.
“Born Into Brothels” was the documentary I watched last night. In the red light district of Calcutta they gave cameras to these children of prostitutes. They
followed them around and showed them how to use the camera. Made them learn how to edit. Talked about their work and how each was different from the
other. During the documentary, you got to know the children through their pictures and their spirit. You saw their home life and how each personality of the
children was much like your own children. One child shares everything; Shea. One child was the organized, wise beyond her years; Alyx. One was wild and
would walk up to people on the street and take their picture if they liked it or not; Kara.
Each of the children in the documentary became mine.
There was a part in the documentary where this prostitute was screaming at another woman about her children and the boy was sitting there rubbing his head
and eyes, waiting for it to end. They cut to him talking about him having to study while living there and how it was really hard. It reminded me of a time when
I was staying with my friend, and her parents were screaming at each other for hours and hours. My friend could sleep through it, but I couldn’t. The tones of
the voices scared me. Not that I didn’t grow up with a house full of screaming adults, but I knew which levels where serious and the other ones I could just
pick a brother and go sleep with him, knowing I was safe.
During the documentary, I wanted to snatch up all the kids and find a place in my house to keep them. They were smart, funny and no different than my
kids…Yeah, the spoke a different language, but trust me; after living with my kids for a few months they would speak perfect American Girl English; Each
word would be followed with the word”LIKE”.
“Hi, like, I was, like, born in like, Calcutta, like in like a brothel, or something, whatever. Like, then like this woman like came, like in and like moved us to like
California to like live with like her children, or something. like. whatever. duh.”
Do I hear an amen?
So I made it through the documentary without going into full sobbing mode. I was so happy and proud of them. Angered at points when I heard one say, “I
have no hope.” NO. Please don’t EVER say that.
Today I looked up the documentary. Okay, BOAT MISSED, it was filmed FOREVER ago and everyone probably has already seen it because it won like 25
awards, including best documentary. Duh.
When I saw their pictures on the website, I burst into tears yet again and read up on what they have been doing since the documentary had aired.
Pan to me sitting on my bed, legs crossed, tears streaming down my face, CLAPPING at the computer and saying, “See, I told you to never say you had no
hope.”
Comments (8) // Add Comment
14
May
The ex calls it ‘DELETE’
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
From this point on out, there are certain pictures that I am going to have set to Friends and Family only on my Flickr site.
If you follow my Flickr feed, please request to be added to the ‘friends and family’ list, M’kay?
Question: When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Comments (13) // Add Comment
11
May
Happy Mother’s Day
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
This picture was actually taken a long time ago, but it’s still my favorite. My mom loves her kids and grandkids, step grandkids and great granddaughter. She
is hands down, the best mom ever. I know you all think you have the best mom, but really, if you could hang out with MY mom, you’d agree with me.
Today I was thinking about ‘moms’ and how blessed I am to be one. Life hasn’t ever been the same. I have made monumental mistakes as a parent. Then
again, the smartest choices I have made in life were made because I was a parent.
I want everyone to feel appreciated today:
Single mothers – I have a bunch and I have to say, you guys are so much stronger than I ever could be.
Mothers of children with disabilities – I am in awe of the backbone you have at all times. You have to be brave and strong when all you feel like doing is
crying.
Mothers with disabilities – God has a special place in heaven for you, because you keep a face of courage when you’re feeling weak and tired.
Mothers with young children – You have years of scratches and bruises and worry, yet you keep smiling through the frustration of wet beds and temper
tantrums.
Mothers with grown children – You have been through it all, yet you still lay awake and hope your kids are happy and healthy.
There are other types of mothers. Army moms, moms of missing children, moms with children in jail…millions of types of mothers, working moms, stay at
home moms….and the dads out there are also ‘mom’. You are appreciated by me.
When they say, “Being a mother is the hardest job”…they were NOT kidding.
Hope you all have a moment of happiness today, you know…when you’re not stressing out, worried, frustrated, changing diapers and all the fun stuff that
goes along with your title as ‘Mom’.
this post might be missing some of these ; ( ‘ ) deal with it. It’s MY day.
Comments (20) // Add Comment
08
May
SPF: musak playa
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Don’t you wish you were me? Sporting a samsung 1 gig of music. whoo. friggin. hoo.
DID YOU PLAY?
Comments (42) // Add Comment
07
May
i need some peace…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
In a conversation with a online friend I had informed her that even though I had gone off the medication that if I ever felt that I needed help, I would get it.
Even if meant that I had to go back on the medication.
Being able to commit to saying, “I am going back on medication.” isn’t something I am ready for. A couple of weeks ago my daughter in law said something
horrible things about me and my ‘drug problem’.
I was upset.
It took me a long time to even tell someone I had a problem. After that, it took a long time to finally get help for it.
When I did reach for help I was told that I was one of the top ten worst cases my therapist had treated. The medication that had to be ‘worked through’; Which
meant I had months of trying this type of medication to see it worked and when it didn’t, you up the dosage and start over again.
All of this just to feel ‘okay’. Through all of this, I was honest with everyone. I told my friends and family, ‘this is my deal. i’m not alone’ … Taking the risk of
looking crazy.
Being honest with people comes with risks. You’re opening yourself up to people talking shit about you. Like I said before, I understand it, I just didn’t
expect it from family.
I’m not exactly certain if I was told that she had the ‘same problem’ I had just to make me feel better or because she wanted to be able to connect with me…
either way, it’s now clear, after the words that she said about me that she has never suffered with what I have. With all honesty I say this, I am very happy she
doesn’t have what I have because I wouldn’t wish this on ANYONE.
With all of the words and the emotions I went through after hearing them, it’s hard to say, “I need to get back on the medication.”
I enjoy being a part of the no pill community.
Weighing the feelings I have been battling with and the other things is what I am going through right now. The pro’s and con’s of everything. It’s not just the
hurtful words that is holding me back from running to the doctor with my hair on fire, it’s a lot of things.
I can’t tell you how many times I have thrown my arms up in the air and said, “Fuck it.” this week alone. I am so damn tired of everything. It’s the following
thoughts that run through my head that make me think it’s time to either talk to someone or get back on medication.
Now you know.
*hair falling out*
Comments (20) // Add Comment
07
May
another train I missed…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Shea came into the bedroom the other day and without any prelude she asked, “Mom, am I going to die from global warming?”
It was an moment I could have siezed, as suggested by a Twitterer, and used with, ‘Yes, unless your room is clean.’
I didn’t though. I refrained from being the consistently cruel parent. “No baby, global warming won’t have any effect on our lives for thousands of years.
THOUSANDS of years…we have nothing to worry about.”
Her question made me wikipedia ‘global warming’. I got the definition and read it to her so she would understand. Done. Who is the best parent? I AM.
And then…
I’m flipping through my Showtime movies I have access to for 2 more months and found the Al Gore movie, “An Inconvenient Truth” I decided to record it
for two of the lamest reasons ever. ever. ever. EVER. 1.) I saw Al Gore in 2000 in pair of jeans, drinking a beer and laughing…after losing the election. He
somehow managed to still find some normalcy after a defeat. I admired that. 2.) He was on a late night show talking about the movie and he was SO excited
about it. The next guy that was on said, “Yeah, he was trying to show me the damn slide show in the dressing room!” and they laughed. Al Gore had passion
about something and if I could spend an hour and half watching it, what did I have to lose?
Now, I am the first to admit that I am last one on a train. This global warming thing wouldn’t have even been something I looked twice into if my daughter had
not asked me if it was something she would die from. I’m really living my life with my head shoved REALLY far in my ass that I don’t have a clue what is
going on.
Dan, my ex-husband, has always been a forward thinker since the moment I met him. When we bought our house he wanted with great conviction to have
these ugly ass ‘solar panels’ put on the top of our home. They were inexpensive and would ‘store’ energy. They were also ugly as sin, and would not be
placed on TOP of my house or anywhere near my house. I mean, come on…how are those stupid black things going to store energy? Don’t you need like a
power plant to do that? Hell our gas bill was only 30 bucks a month.
I have since admitted to him, “I was wrong. You were right.” and his chest puffed up and his head got so big it exploded.
Back in the 1980′s I watched a show on how by the year 2000 that gas was going to cost us $3.00 a gallon. At that time, that was an outrage! People were
PISSED that these people would ‘project’ that something so horrible would happen. As a young kid, I was not effected by the show, but the fact that I
remember that…it means something. There was another show that freaked me about this weird thing called ‘green house effect’ and I thought, ‘why would
people be building these green houses that are messing with the world?’
And I really thought I was doing my part to ‘save the ozone’ layer by not using aerosol hairspray.
So, I watched the movie…and then I watched another…and now I am on my 5th documentary on EVERYTHING.
I’m just asking for hate mail on this one, but before you do that, watch and research a both sides before you say, “It’s not real, it’s just hype.” I am watching
both sides and just going, “Whoa.”
Whoa.
Whooooooa.
Now I am asking myself, “DUDE, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN AND WHY DIDN’T ANYONE SAY SOMETHING?” and what do I do to fix shit?
Maybe I can’t fix the ozone layer, but maybe being informed is enough so when I am faced with a decision I need to make, I can do it with some knowledge
under my belt.
It also is hitting close to home as far as how can I change my life in a way that I can be proud of myself?
That is my brick wall that is stopping me from jumping on the train. I’m trying people and for those of you that have been on the train and tootin’ the horn for
everyone else to pay attention, I’m sorry…I wasn’t listening, but I am now.
Now to find a nice way to tell my daugther, “You might want to clean your room, because global warming is right on your ass.”
Comments (12) // Add Comment
05
May
how to boost your self esteem, and then get knocked on your ass.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: hope
I joined “Curves for Women” today. Yep, they had this 30 days for 30 bucks and since I have spent 30 bucks on stupid things like bad wine and leg warmers, I
figured since I would pay a 11 year old to make sure I drank water for a month, I can spend my money wisely and try working out.
Guess what? I am the youngest person EVER when I am there.
Guess what? I got my ass beat down by some old women in New Balance shoes and “World Best Great Grandma” t-shirts. If I am being 100% honest, I think
one of those women was wearing the orthopedic shoes….they were brown and shiny.
So I am going to be kicking it REALLY old school for the next month. If I start saying stuff like, ‘nay sayer and geewizards’ you can officially stop reading my
blog.
Comments (9) // Add Comment
01
May
Stuff Portrait Friday — SONG
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show – Neil Diamond
DID YOU PLAY? you did. How could you resist this week?
Comments (34) // Add Comment
29
May
Click, clickity, click.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I’m sure there is a term for people who get forget that life isn’t Tivoed. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to rewind what someone said. Last night I
was laying in bed and I was in deep thought about something so interesting that I was zoning out deep. A sound or something shiny must have distracted my
deep zoning out and my track of mind went somewhere else. This thought wasn’t as fun or entertaining as the last thought and I tried to go back to what I was
thinking about before…but I completely forgot what I was zoning out on. Backtracking didn’t work and I decided that life in my brain would be easier if I could
just hit rewind, guide or last.
Today I took it to a whole new level. I was in another one of my internal thoughts when for some reason I thought, “I just need to right click that.”
BRILLIANT!
Okay, here was my scenario; Someone’s talking about something and they are all wrong about it. What if we could just ‘right click’ the situation and hit,
‘refresh’?
How about the selfish reasons:
My MP3 player; right click, ‘upgrade’.
Kids won’t shut up; right click; ‘mute’
Wouldn’t that be so bad ass? When someone asks you, ‘did you see that?!’ I could say, ‘hold on, let me right click it.’
Don’t forget that SPF is tomorrow; Right click: calendar: ‘remind’.
Ohhhh, life would be so cool.
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28
May
pressing charges…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I dropped my wallet tonight and someone picked it up. They also turned it in…after they took all my money out of it.
They have this all on surveillance camera and have a copy of her drivers licenses. I am pressing charges.
I’ve been lucky in the past and wish I didn’t have to press charges to get my money back, but I don’t have a choice.
*sigh*
Comments (18) // Add Comment
27
May
It was good.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
This was my favorite part of the trip to Redding…the interaction between everyone.
We were all tired from driving or cooking or chasing this little ball of monkey fun. When are they going to create the transport machine like on Star Trek?
Your weekend?
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23
May
SPF: Me in Music
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
May 23rd is (SELF or SOMEONE) YOU IN MUSIC (playing an instrument, dancing, getting ready for a dance getting into music..whatever)
Me and Jr. Prom date, Bron Sullivan. I have the most wonderful memories of Bron. The memory of getting this dress is one of my absolute favorites. We
danced most of the slow songs.
Me and my prom date, Scott. We didn’t dance, but look at me, I am SO ready to. Yes, same dress.
My dancing fool, Kyle. I love this kid.
She dances better than Janet Jackson…well, when her hips don’t hurt.
RSG
Yes, this one looks sort of out of place, but it’s not. We were at the bar, singing karaoke. This picture was taken before the one where we pulled our shirts up
for a boob picture and mentally scared Pissy Britches for the rest of her life.
That’s me in music.
DID YOU PLAY?
Comments (29) // Add Comment
21
May
Another season…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
The season finale of American Idol was ‘ight.
Brian Adams was looking preeety good.
The best part of show is when Carrie Underwood came out and sang, “Last Name”.
“Whoa, Shaun. Whoa…uh, what is she wearing under that dress?”
“Carrie Underwear.”
Comments (6) // Add Comment
21
May
my wish…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: The Fonz
If I could do it again, I would spend those quiet moments in bed with mom watching movies instead being on the phone with my ubber dumb ass boyfriend
fighting about if his friends are better than my friends.
Right now…all I want more than anything is to climb into bed with my mommy and watch some made for TV show.
God, I hate days when you just wish you would have never moved out of you house as a teenager.
Comments (5) // Add Comment
20
May
She needs help…can we help??
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Do you know Deb? She battled cancer.
Now she is asking for our help.
5 bucks? that’s a coffee now days. 10 bucks? A gallon of gas.
Or…help her out reaching her and Zoe’s goal that she is frustrated that she’s not even close to hitting.
I am going to donate something on Friday, after I get my phone turned back on and my car out of the threat of being repo’ed.
If you can donate anything…please. If you can’t help financially, can you repost this on your blog so maybe one of your readers can.
Thanks everyone.
Comments Off // Add Comment
19
May
sorta kinda hypothetical question here.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
So if I were to fly into Boston in July…uh…who would want to get together for drinks?
cause you know. shit happens.
people lose their minds EVERY SINGLE DAY, why not have company?
Comments (22) // Add Comment
19
May
Where to shove it…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
You’ve said it, I know you have; Just ONE more thing. I don’t mean that in the grocery type way, I mean it in the GO AHEAD…do it. ONE MORE THING. type of
way. You sing that song?
Shea is sick. She has the stomach flu. She’s laying in bed with me, rolling around moaning asking for a cure. Sorry kid, if I had it…I wouldn’t be trying to
figure out how to get the black licorice flavored vomit taste out of my mouth from throwing up all night. If I am going to be up all night; then throwing up; then
getting stepped on while sleeping on the bathroom floor, I am GOING to start drinking because there is no reason I shouldn’t have SOME enjoyment if I am
going to have the wonderful symptoms of a level 9 hangover.
I know that all of this *waving hand in the air at all the shit going on in my life…stuff I can’t write about* isn’t anyone’s fault but my own.
But really…one more thing. ONE more thing. Do it. I dare you to.
Comments (6) // Add Comment
18
May
Where I tell you about my family.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I just spent the last few hours watching Larry The Cable Guy and Bill Engival. I’ve already seen most of the Jeff Foxworthy videos.
Shaun does not. not. not find them as funny as I do.
Me, I don’t even know it’s more funny as it is familiar.
Next week I am going to Redding to see my family. All of ‘em. My brothers Barry, Jerry and Michael. My sister, Ween will be the hostest with the mostest.
This is actually going to the first time that Shaun will be with all of us at the same time. This is where I take a deep breath and pray to God he doesn’t spend
the next 20 years laughing hysterically at random moments.
Barry, he got out of Shingletown pretty early so he doesn’t sound as redneck as my brother, Jerry. Those two get together and it’s going to be funnier than
the Blue Collar Comedy hour. Throw my brother, Michael in the bunch and the laughing is going to hurt. My sister likes to joke that Michael can’t travel
outside the county line because he can’t hear the bangos anymore.
I’ve been charging my video camera since I was told everyone was going to be in Redding next weekend. I have 2 tapes ready to burn with images of my
brothers falling back into redneck mode and talking like they don’t have a brain between the three of them.
Next week, Random and Odd is going to mostly video of 5 idiots laughing at each other when someone says, “Go jiggle the handle”.
Comments (4) // Add Comment
05
Jun
Stuff Portrait Friday: Kids Point of View
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
June 6: Through the eyes of a child.
If you have a child; Allow the child to take your camera and find something they like to take a picture of. Do not prompt them on what to take, leave them to
themselves to pick it.
If you do NOT have a child…you lucky bastards; Get down on your stomach or knees, about the height of child or baby and see what you see from there point
of view.
(Kara — It’s her school bag. Her FAVORITE school bag. One that managed to last ALL year)
(Shea — The and only time she’ll touch my D300)
(Rina Roo — They love getting pictures of people getting pictures of them)
(Alyx — She took this one in Pismo Beach on her first vacation with her best friend’s family)
DID YOU PLAY?
Comments (20) // Add Comment
05
Jun
Wow
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Hey everyone, Shaun here. I’m trying to get in before the SPF participants hog the entire site! Tomorrow night Tyler graduates from high school, with honors.
College-prep classes, student teaching, and a 4.0 GPA. How in THE hell did this kid get any of my genes and pull this off? Honestly, I give him a daily dose of
crap about being lazy, but the kid worked his ass off for four years. The energy saved from not putting away laundry and lazily walking dogs surely helped, but
I am SO incredibly glad he is a stronger, more disciplined student than I ever was. I know he’ll excel in colledge (yeah, its funnier misspelled) and with
anything he chooses to do. Dang, they tell you your kids grow up fast, but by the time you believe it they’re already there.
(Insert sappy chick flick music in 3…2…1) Tyler, you absolutely blow me away. I’m prouder of you than you’ll ever know, and I know you’re destined to do
great things. As a young man, you already have the greatest combination of intelligence, heart, and humility, and now the world gets to find out what I already
know. Thank you for being a son who makes me laugh, can take over tutoring the other kids when the math turns from numbers to letters, and who isn’t afraid
to be himself no matter how goofy that kid is. Congratulations on your graduation. In that crowd of blue caps and gowns tomorrow night, no one will have
worked harder. Unless there’s a foreign exchange student from a war-ravaged village who lost his entire family and came to America with nothing and got a
higher GPA than you. He’d deserve it more, but you’d be a solid second place after him. I love you more than anything, and will LOVE watching you take that
diploma.
Comments (13) // Add Comment
05
Jun
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I updated the SPF this week. That’s pretty much ALL I got done. The last week of school always throws me into a depression, crying and screaming ‘nooooo,
not 11 weeks alone with the bbbbbrrrraaaatttts’ frenzy.
I took into consideration that not all of you are swimming in Barbies, Tranformers, Go Diego Go and Dora the Explorer toys. Some of you actually have all
your teeth because you didn’t grind them down to nubs. And also there are people that own cars that doesn’t smell like milk or dried juice in the sun and has
never woke up with a handful of Goldfish crackers in your bed.
Here is SPF for the month of June:
The Month of June:
SPF: Children and such…
June 6: Through the eyes of a child.
If you have a child; Allow the child to take your camera and find something they like to take a picture of. Do not prompt them on what to take, leave them to
themselves to pick it.
If you do NOT have a child…you lucky bastards; Get down on your stomach or knees, about the height of child or baby and see what you see from there point
of view.
June 13 – A child’s toy. If you have children you have a lot to choose from. If you don’t have children then you have never had a Polly Pocket leg shoved
through the bottom of your foot and you should count yourself lucky. It should be easy to find a child’s toy…if your significant other is a child–you’re in
luck!
June 20 -Youth. A child isn’t actually needed at all for this picture. Capture something that means ‘youth’ to you. Mine, hands down are roller skates. I can
still smell the cotton candy and feel the butterflies in my stomach thinking about the ’snowball dance’.
June 27 – “Children are our Future” – show me that quote in a picture. I’ll give examples as we get closer.
Comments (2) // Add Comment
04
Jun
Heavy Heart…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I FINALLY got a call about my stolen, yet returned with no money, wallet. The detective seemed very cool about it and read the report and it actually reported
the whole thing as it happened.
How the woman picked it up, looked inside, put the wallet with her male friend in wheelchair and then cruised around for 30 minutes. Then how she went to
the parking lot and then took the money out and then brought it back in saying she found it in the parking lot.
The detective said that because she left with it and came back in and lied about where she found it shows guilt and he’s going to push her to get the truth.
Even if she doesn’t admit to it, he’s going to send it to the DA for felony theft.
So I am praying that she has a heavy heart and admits to taking the money. Admits that she has 30 minutes walking around with my wallet to do the right
thing and turn it in and chose not to take that option. Instead she chose to steal the money.
My only hope is at that time in her life she was in dire need of that money and because she stole it she was able to pay a bill that needed to get paid. I hope
now that she realizes she did the WRONG thing and admits to her fault and pays the money back.
I watched this one show awhile ago about a serial killer who was getting away with all these horrible crimes including the death of an officer. The police was
working with this woman who was believed to be a physic and was trying to get information that they normally wouldn’t be able to get. She tried and gave
them a lot of information, but it wasn’t helping and the murders were continuing.
The woman decided to get a bunch of her friends and do something really simple. They prayed. They prayed that God would give him a heavy heart and that
he would turn himself in.
He turned himself in the next day.
I’m spending the day trying to get people pray that this woman has a heavy heart so when the detective calls her that she feels the need to do the right thing
and admit to her wrong doing.
Wanna help? Let me know if you can send out some heavy heart vibes out there for me so I know that I have a team of warriors today working with me.
Thank you.
Comments (17) // Add Comment
03
Jun
*gag*
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I woke up this morning thinking about how much I hate the consistency and flavor of eggs. It came to mind because I started Atkins and there is so little you
can eat in the breakfast arena. Eggs are the staple. Eww. Gross. Ack. Gag!
Then I started thinking about how picky I am about everyday normal foods.
Sour Cream: This is number one top of my list of Eww.Gross.Ack.Gag! The taste is the only thing I hate here. As soon as it hits my tastes buds I begin
convulsing.
Guacamole: it might have been the name that freaked me out as a child into never wanting to eat this. Guac. A. MOLE. e? yuck. That nasty green color and
then the consistency of it. When I got older and tried to eat it, it made me do the heebie jeebie dance. Oh, did I mention how I am so child like when I try to
eat something new? I can’t hide displeasure.
Tomatoes (sliced): I like stewed tomato in stews. I like tomatoes in salsa. I can NOT stand tomatoes on anything though, like the sliced kind on hamburger. I
don’t know how it manages to CHANGE taste when in full form.
Onions (sliced, uncooked): Oh GAG A MAGGOT! If I am eating anything with an onion involved it is cooked to death.
Anything Fish (except Tuna): I get physically ill when eating it, so it’s not fair that I ‘don’t like it’, because I don’t really know.
Black Licorice: I blame my mother, because she loved it and ate it and the smell makes me sick. I don’t think I’ve ever actually ATE it, but if I begin gagging
at the smell, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t last that long in my mouth.
The stupidest one isn’t really even a food *eating* problem; I can’t stand the smell of popcorn in my car or any small area.
I eat watermelon with salt on it and pineapple with pepper and cottage cheese.
I’m not alone……right?
Comments (15) // Add Comment
02
Jun
Conversations with Shea
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I was in the car listening to a Prince song and decided to call and sing it to my wonderfully gay friend, Nicky. When her phone ‘rang’ it was a Melissa
Etheridge song.
I never pass up the opportunity to pick on my friend about anything that has to do with her sexuality, because honestly she’s not exactly comfortable with me
doing it. Yes, that makes me sound like an ass, but if you could hear her laugh when I say things to her that are so in your face honest, you would start
sending me one liners.
After tonight’s conversation, I don’t think she has any problems anymore. I made her go into details about her sexuality and I promised her that if I went gay
that I would allow her to pick on me about carpets and drapes.
Shea wasn’t too thrilled with my message though. Not knowing who I left the message for she said, “Mom, that was a mean message. You can’t say, ‘You
know, people are going to think you’re gay’” to people, it’s not nice.”
“I was kidding with her baby. Everyone knows she’s gay.”
“It was a gowl?”
“Yeah, my friend, Nicky…you remember her and her wife from the BBQ last year?”
“Uh. Yeah. Duh. But mom…Gowls can’t be gay.”
“Yeah they can.”
“No mom, they are Wesbians.”
hmm. Who knew?
Comments (4) // Add Comment
02
Jun
The Wedding of A Lifetime
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
“What’cha doin’ Cat [alyx]”
“Making a wedding invitation for Sara Ann and Joe Jonas.”
“ah.”
“Yeah, it was either this or be the caterer. Any one who’s going to the wedding, well ‘pretend’ wedding has to have a job.”
“Who’s the photographer?”
“Lyndsey.”
“And which one is Sara Ann marrying..pretend marrying?”
“Joe.”
“I don’t know which one is which.”
“He’s the middle one, Mom.”
“Eyebrows or Sideburns?”
“Eyebrows.”
“Gotcha.”
Comments (3) // Add Comment
02
Jun
Sad. Really Sad.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Saturday we decided to venture out. This is what we found. It was hard to believe that I lived in a town with this house and never even knew it existed.
As I walked through the house, my heart broke at every wood panel covered with graffiti, all the beautiful hardwood floors covered in paint and looking around
for SOMETHING untouched by vandals. Nothing was left untouched. If it wasn’t covered in spray paint, it was ripped to shreds. Wood, insulation, stairs and
every single window was destroyed. Even the white pillars in the front were ripped down.
The front of the house was very different from the back part of the house. The main house was built in the 1800′s, the back part of the house was added in the
1980′s.
I had so many questions, but I was sick to my stomach. I left there feeling really sad.
We found out from the guy at the mini mart the name of the home and who once lived there. After getting home I got on the internet and spent hours on the
phone with ‘Cita reading. We even found a small picture of what the house looked like before it was destroyed.
Today we went to the historical society to find they had NO information about the house that was built in the 1800′s. They encouraged us to do the research
for them. Good thing, I already had piles and piles of pages of information.
Finally feeling good, I was excited to have a summer adventure to look forward to. Then tonight I had another cyst rupture. The nurse told me if I had another
problem or began bleeding again that I would have to go to the doctor.
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29
May
spf: Music Tribute
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
My tribute to Music went all wrong. I was going to have Shaun turn me into a Barbie and do the theme for “Barbie Girl”.
Shaun came home with a raging headache and fell asleep early. I spent the day in bed with an ruptured cyst on my ovary. I get them every now and again and
usually I am up and moving the next day, but this one was pissed at me and decided to take it to the fullest extent of pain.
Next month ‘theme’ is going to be Children Within Photography. At one point, I’m going to ask you to hand your camera to a child you can somewhat trust
and have them take a picture.
So the end of MUSIC month: DID YOU PLAY?
Comments (22) // Add Comment
29
May
Oh so true…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
BusyDad.com wrote a post the other day titled, ‘If Jeopardy was written by parents’. I had to laugh, because he nailed it on the head!
Of course, I would kick his ass in the ‘Teenager’ section of Double Jeopardy!
I was watching Family Feud with Alyx (11 years old) and I swear I looked like a friggin’ brainiack! Now I would have all the top answers to those questions if
only Parents of Teenagers were polled.
1. Name the top 5 things that will drain your bank account if you have a teenager:
a.) Jamba Juice/Robek.
b.) Senior Graduation costs
c.) Replacing socks that once belonged to the parents
d.) OVERAGES ON TEXT MESSAGING!
e.) therapy for parents!
2. Name the 5 things that will drive a parent to binge drinking:
a.) USING MY TOWELS!
Go ahead, you can buzz in anytime!
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23
Jun
kristine of little faith
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Many years ago when I use to be on this mailing list, I accidentally posted to the list a private email I was sending to person on the list. When I checked my
email later on, I saw it posted in our group and I felt like my skin had turned transparent and I was going to die of embarrassment. The email wasn’t anything
juicy. Pretty lame in fact. It was the fact that I had posted something ‘personal’ and the whole group KNEW it.
It’s ironic now, this is what I do. I post personal information on the internet for more than just the 300 people that was in our group. I have over 8,000
personal pictures on the internet. My name is my real name.
The best part about it, is I am totally honest about what I write. Yes, it’s from my point of view, but I’m not so distorted and warped that I only see things from
one point of view.
No, I’m actually sort of warped, but not too bad.
When putting things up on the internet, I realize I am going to get hate mail. I have gotten my fair share and I delete most of them. Most of the time, the
comments are supportive. Sometimes not so much. In good news though, the commenter from last week is actually VERY nice and we have emailed back
and forth. I don’t normally don’t do that, but I was in a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad place and I needed to understand. Sure glad I did too.
The worst part of internet posting isn’t actually the phone calls you get from friends and family saying, “OMG. I can’t believe you said that!” because
honestly, I don’t get those anymore. The people I respect know I am going to write about my life, honestly. If they are uncomfortable being a part of R&O
they tell me. My beautiful friend, Lisa doesn’t understand how I could do it, but respects it and I don’t talk about her life because she is very private. I just
talk about what a wonderful human being she is. ‘Cita had her name changed and only visits R&O when she can’t get my phone or Yahoo messenger. JUST
TO MAKE SURE I AM ALIVE. Sometimes she will say, “Yeah, I read that.”
Shaun, Shaun, Shaun. Poor guy. Didn’t know what he was getting himself into huh? He knows that I have always in a way have always written for Random and
Odd. Surrendering closet space and large chunks of the garage to house my personal diaries going all the way back to 5th grade.
The hardest part is admitting failure. Diets, accomplishments, relationships…everything that I have failed at is right here.
If I got out and walked. If I didn’t eat the Hostess Cherry Pie. If I …If I had done…if I would just… It’s all here on R&O and that’s hard as an Aries to admit…
that I failed at something.
“to thine own self, be true” I guess that is what R&O is to me, thineownselfbeingtrue. I stand behind what I say here. Proud of it what it is I am writing about,
or not…it’s still honest.
*hi mommy, i miss you so much!
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22
Jun
Totally Brain-Dead
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I was looking for a neighbor on MySpace because she mentioned that ‘oh, you should add me.’ and instead of doing the simple thing like, oh…asking her
last name, email address or her screen name, I decided that spending WAY too much time trying to find someone instead of calling her and just ASKING one
of those questions was smarter.
There are some people that are so good at Googling and finding people. Me, not so much. I have my stat tracker that shows your IP address, where you are,
what kind of computer you have, the resolution on your monitor, what kind of browser you have and if you remembered to feed your pets. I know where
you’ve been, where you went and how many times you came back. If I purchase the super supreme pack, I can find out what you had for lunch.
I successfully found my neighbor on MySpace and after chatting, I realized that my 2 old friends PROBABLY have MySpace by now, so I decided to search for
them, except for the life of me, I can’t remember how old they are, where they live or what one of their last names is. Now these two guys I spent nearly every
day with them for months on end. In fact, I know one of their PINS on their ATM cards! How in the heck can I totally space their last names? I keep saying my
friend’s name over and over, and it’s RIGHT there and I am going to feel like a moron when It finally hits me, but right now; I am an idiot.
So when I can’t remember their last names, I begin going over all the old friends I have had and guess what? NOTHING. Unless I went to school with you,
your last name is lost in my head somewhere. Damn, that pisses me off. How can I stalk if I can’t remember CRITICAL DETAILS?
I blame this on the Algebra I was forced to learn in college!
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19
Jun
SPF: Youth
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
How many weekends were spent at the mall searching for JUST the right pair of jeans?
Many. Not that I could afford them, but I searched.
As a parent of teenagers, I don’t understand how more gun accidents didn’t happen in our home.
DID YOU PLAY?
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19
Jun
putting on my stride rites
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: ex, hope, Shaun
Ever watch a movie and then afterward you’re all like, I want to be that, him, her, that life?
Right now. I am Holly Kennedy from P.S. I Love You.
I’ve been on this weird movie kick. In the last 7 years I can count how many times I’ve wanted to go to Hollywood Video and rent a movie on one hand. Twice.
This week.
It started with The Ex’s Netflix thing where you can watch movies online. ONLINE. Movies from the comfort of my own laptop and headphones. Shaun doesn’t
have to be a part of my weird documentary phase, or old movie kick..or movies that remind me of a part of my life that has since been wiped away. I can pick
whatever I wanted and didn’t have to hear, ‘Chick flick’ or ‘Why a movie on the children of Alabama that were killed in a church?” Just because, that’s why.
I’m one of THOSE people. I’m one of those strange people that rip through different types of things and YES, I am exactly that person that takes a bite of the
chocolates in the box and decides if she likes the taste…and If I don’t, I put it back and hope someone else doesn’t mind that I didn’t. Guess what? People
don’t mind. Shaun doesn’t really care either. He doesn’t care that I will sit down and read every single James Patterson book in a series and then decide to
never read another James Patterson book because for no other reason than I feel like I am betraying THAT series I fell in love with.
It’s strange to walk through your life with someone for so long and then it’s over. Tonight Dan’s parent’s showed up. For those of you just getting on the R&O
express, Dan is my ex-husband. I haven’t seen his parents since years before our split in 2000. They are doing there tour of children and grandchildren that
started in NC, through Colorado, California, Ohio and then back to NC. They are making some gas companies VERY happy as they move along in their 1970′s
van across the states.
They never liked me, his mom I mean. I overheard her talking about this ‘young’ teenager Dan brought with him for a visit. Of course, I didn’t know at the
time they already knew that he had gotten a girl pregnant. I was certain that information had not been told to them, since I had just found out.
Honestly, I don’t think they ever really liked me. Now that I think about it, they didn’t. I was 10 years younger than their son and he was making a huge
mistake. How was I to know? I was a young teenager.
So tonight I watched them from across the dinner table. They are older now, of course. Her husband hasn’t changed at all. For the most part neither has she.
He still makes sure she’s eating at the right time so she can take her pills and she still lets us all know that it’s time to get back home because he’s tired. It’s
been 18 years and they are the same couple they were that first time I spent the weekend in their guest bedroom doing unnameable things to their son in the
name of youth and stupidity.
You would think it was strange that I went and had dinner with my ex-husband and his family tonight. Perhaps it was, but then it dawned on me why it didn’t
feel even a little bit awkward.
See, Dan’s mom left his dad when he was finishing up high school. His dad remarried. By the time I was around, I guess they had all worked out the kinks. I
never once saw his mom and dad fight. They actually got along. There were times when his mother would come to visit and we all would sit around together.
It was HIS parents that taught me that it’s okay to get along. I was a product of a two parent household. I didn’t learn this on my own.
Duh! I spent my the first day of married life in a gazebo with his Dad and wife and his Mom and her husband laughing and talking as if it was so normal for
ex’s to get along. How did I forget that? HIS mother, the one that hated me gave me the greatest thing I have right now…no, not the ex-husband and his
brats…the ability to see past all the bullshit for the sake of being happy and making others around me comfortable.
So today I feel like I have been given a second chance at something. Does that mean that the urge to rip out Shaun’s vocal cords with my bare hands while
he soundly sleeps next to me? Nooooooo. Of course not. Does it mean that I instantly have trust again? Does it mean that I feel 100% better and that
sunshine is going to fly out of my ass? Nooooooo, pretty sure all those things with the exception of the sunshine will take time.
I want to be able to forgive again. He forgives me for so much. Like how I never put the toilet paper on the role. How even though there is a dresser and walk
in closet, our clothes are in 4 different laundry baskets on the bedroom floor. I forgive him for the fact that I have to always ask him to take the bathroom
garbage out and the sprinkler head in the front yard is broken again and we have a water fall down our driveway every night at 10pm because of it. I want to
forgive again because some days I get on the floor and put the clothes away or take the trash out myself. I want to forget all of it because sometimes he will
put the paper on the toilet roll or will make 4 trips to Home Depot before he just throws his hands in the air and allows me to call Dan to figure out why the
sprinkler doesn’t work.
It’s for the fact that we both notice that we give and take in this marriage.
So tonight…I will not rip out his vocal cords. Tomorrow is another day and that option is right back on the table. See, those there are baby steps…and I am
taking them.
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18
Jun
I still wish they would create a monitor that has scratch and sniff!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
SPF REMINDER: June 20 -Youth. A child isn’t actually needed at all for this picture. Capture something that means ‘youth’ to you. Mine, hands down are roller
skates. I can still smell the cotton candy and feel the butterflies in my stomach thinking about the ’snowball dance’
Wouldn’t it so bad ass if they had scratch and sniff monitors? Maybe one that can capture the smell of a place, like the ocean or the smell of warm pine
needles on a summer day? How about if you’re a restaurant owner and on your website it has the picture of the steak and then all the sudden the smell of the
food suddenly is release through small holes that look like speakers on your computer?
Yeah, that would make for some awkward porn surfing though huh?
“Honey, why does it smell like latex in the …. you’ve been surfing again!?”
Hmm. I’m on to something.
Don’t forget SPF this week. I promise to play.
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18
Jun
Missing Her. Sort of.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Alyx is in Redding for a week visiting my mom and sister. She called me after the first two days and I was almost certain that I would never see my daughter
again.
She went into an obscene amount of detail on everything that Auntie Kathy has been feeding her. She is sort of picky about the things she likes to the point
of frustration.
For the last few years she won’t eat any jelly that isn’t homemade by her Auntie. She has since decided that a turkey sandwich can’t be eaten on anything but
wheat bread. Toast is okay with butter, but not with Jelly; unless it’s toast with Jelly but not with butter at the same time.
Vegetables are Satan’s creation and she will have no part of them; except raw carrots. cold. only really cold.
Now, my view on the whole eating thing is, ‘If I made it, you’re eating it.’ and she looks at you with these eyes that softly say, ‘but if i do, I will die…and if
you’re okay with my funeral on your hands, so am I. I will sacrifice my life so you can say you’re a good parent and made me eat food that will clearly kill me’.
Since she’s been up at my mom’s house she has been calling everyday with something new she has tried.
“Mom, guess what I like now?”
“Cleaning your room?” I ask hopefully.
“MASHED POTATOES!” and when Alyx gets excited about something, she talks at heroin speed. I got the complete menu of everything she has eaten in the
last 48 hours.
The conversation came to an abrupt end when she smelled popcorn. I told her to hand the phone to Auntie Kathy and she said, “Oh God, Mom please. Don’t
tell her not to spoil me!”
For the last couple of days she has been calling and bragging about all the fun stuff she’s doing and all the new foods she is eating. SPOILED this child is
going to be. I’m never going to hear the end of “Auntie Kathy can cook this or that…” Yeah, got it kid. She’s the friggin’ McGuiver of the kitchen.
Yesterday I decided to take Shea out and get her some new clothes. For those of you that ‘know’ her, she gets ‘attached’ to certain things and those certain
things are her ‘lucky’ things. She wore a 20 lb jacket in the middle of summer because ‘it made her run faster.’ and it was ‘lucky’. We have all seen the
devastation it causes when her ‘lucky’ clothing wears thin metaphorically and physically. When it looks like she’s getting a little too attached to a pair of
jeans, we have to hide them for a week or two so she can move on to other clothes. I don’t even want to show you her shoes. Most would say, “Well she gets
a lot of use out of them.” No. She doesn’t. I have to buy her new shoes at least once a month. At one point in the school year I was convinced that she had
to be getting into fights and she was being drug along the pavement and that is why her shoes were falling off of her feet, covered in black marks and tar and
what were once a nice shade of black is just now shreds of the inner lining. Black shoes. No other color because they will be black in less than a day. NO
JOKE. I wish I were kidding.
She also got her hair cut. I started to freak out because the lady that was cutting her hair wasn’t the normal 70 year old that cuts her hair. They fired everyone
and hired kids right out of beauty school. REALLY, right out of beauty school…that day….no joke. not kidding. She was fired up and ready to cut, shear and
shave.
We showed her a picture of the hair she wanted and I sat down to watch the transformation. I’ve been watching my sister cut hair my whole life and I can tell
you RIGHT NOW this woman was doing it ALL WRONG. When she was done I rushed her out of there and into the truck. “it’s okay baby, it will look
finnnnnnnneeee.”
Shea was smiling from ear to ear. “I LOVE IT!” I wasn’t convinced. She was going to melt down soon and I would have to pick up the pieces of broken baby
heart and mend them with love and a straightening iron.
We got home and I pulled it out and started trying to make it look better. She smiled the whole time. Looking up and me lovingly as I pulled the hair to try to
get it to grow back a little bit. “You like it mom?” She was sucking on the sucker they gave her.
“Yep. Looks good.” Wait a minuteeeee here. It did look good. the woman didn’t screw it up after all. Yeah, she wasn’t cutting it right and it look a lot shorter
when she was cutting it, but wow…it looked awesome. Shea grinned and smiled the rest of the night with her new shorts, top and hair cut.
This morning she crawled into bed with me and half asleep she said, “Mommy, thank you for my new clothes and hair cut. I love them.” and fell back asleep.
Whoa. THIS IS MY DAUGHTER? She talked to me willingly? She came and got into my bed to sleep with me? WHAT THE HELL?
Today she woke up and didn’t ask for anything. I asked her if she wanted to return the movies and maybe stop by the hair cutting place so I can tell the
woman how much I loved it. I’m sure they don’t hear that often at Great Clips and I wanted her to know she had a repeat customer and I would loyally follow
her through her whole career if she would make my daughter smile like that after every hair cut.
We got her a pair of flip flops. White and blue. A pair of sunglasses and a new purse (BOGO!) and she was thrilled to be alive. She held my hand and gently
hugged me (which is so different than the obnoxious hug she normally does where it knocks the air out of you and is done more to annoy you, than to show
affection.)
One on one with Shea this week has been so awesome. Maybe auntie Kathy and Mom can keep Alyx for awhile while I get to know my baby daughter better.
Yeahhhhh, probably not a good idea. She won’t be able to fit into the minivan as it is!
Thanks for all the comments, emails and prayers. It’s working and updating will come soon. promise.
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14
Jun
Sometimes to keep it together, you have to leave it alone
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Alright, I’m ready to talk.
It’s not too hard to figure out the combination of not eating, listening to The Commodores on repeat and chain smoking. Marital problems.
For those of you that have been reading from day one know that the river that Shaun and I float on is not always smooth sailing. In fact there have been more
times I have envisioned taking the oars and beating the life out of him and smiling at the thought of his lifeless body washing up on shore. Perhaps I wasn’t
THAT graphic in my writings before. Perhaps I should delete that last sentence. I wont.
When Shaun and I met, neither one of us were that interested in being in a relationship. It just sort of happened that we started spending more time with
anyone else that were seeing. When our ‘dating’ time ended we went our different ways and because we both missed the friend we had in each other, we
started hanging out again 6 months later. Never in a million years would I have ever guessed the words, “I do.” would escape my lips. Don’t get me wrong, I
loved him. What’s not to love? I just never wanted to be married again. It had no interest in that sort of pain I caused someone before. I have this fridge
magnet that says, “Why get married and make one man miserable when I be single and make hundreds miserable?” In the morning I would meander to the
fridge to pull the coffee creamer out and see that beacon and think to myself, “Yeah, it’s time for that one to go.” It may sound callous, but honestly I think I
felt like I was doing the right thing for them.
Thinking back at that time in my life, I am reminded of my wonderful sister and when she was introduced to one of the guys I was seeing. She was so sweet
when she so honestly said to this man that it was nice to meet him and that I was going to chew him up, spit him out and leave him heartbroken. He laughed
and thought my sister was the funniest woman, second to me. When it was over she said to me, “It’s not like I didn’t warn him.”
Shaun and I sat up until 5 am this morning talking. We had this choice to make. Either we were done, or we tried to work it out.
You know that saying right, ‘First time; shame on you. Second time; shame on me’? I don’t really have a high threshold for third time offenders. In fact, after
my marriage…my threshold went to zero. You didn’t really have to do anything wrong and I would be done and you would never see me again.
When I got married I knew that I was going to have to take the good with the bad. I just didn’t know it was going to be so fucking hard. Knee jerk reaction is
to shut down all emotions and go ice cold and ask them very politely to get the hell out of my life and don’t bother coming back.
My daughter asked me the other day, “Mom, are you and Shaun going to get a divorce?” Shaun and I are the silent fighters and honestly no would know
how hard it has been for both of us, if we didn’t tell them. I think Kara was born to know exactly when something was wrong with me. There was never hiding
anything from her. There are things she needs to know, but not until I figure out what the answer is going to be. I began to cry and said, “I don’t know.” Why
lie to her, I had broken her heart before and I wasn’t going to do that to her again. “I hurt right now and I don’t know how to make that hurt stop.”
She was also born with the ability to make me laugh when I am crying too. After talking to her and Marina I felt better. I informed them that’s it’s okay if they
don’t ever want to have a boyfriend. The 6th most miserable morning, I ended up giggling in the bed with my two teenage daughters. I finally decided to eat.
So, after hours of talking and talking (mostly him, he won’t ever shut up) we decided that we are going to get therapy and marriage counseling. When we
know exactly what happened with us and can put a name to it, we can get through it. Hope and Faith is what I am leaning on right now.
No marriage is perfect and I have done a fine job making it seem like it is…I’m good at that. If you’re wondering how I managed to pull that one off, go read
this book called, “Co-Dependant No More”. It’s amazing huh? You read someone for 4 years and you think you know every detail of their life. *shrug* not so
much.
Many of you know this pain and it’s deep, painful and gut wrenching. I’m done pretending that it doesn’t hurt and the journey ahead is really fucked up for
the people in our lives. We had to inform our dearest friends and family today that we love them very much and we know they have problems, but for the next
six months we are only focusing on us and saving our lives. We are going to be pretty much useless when it comes to any problems that people have in their
lives. We are begging them to understand that at home, at work and in our personal lives that people only come to us with positive shit.
This is the point where I fall to my knees in the hallway and slide all the way to the side of the bed with my hands in prayer and yell to God, “ENOUGH. Okay,
FINE…you win. I WILL START PRAYING AGAIN! I NEED YOU!”
Baby steps again, Doctor Marvin. Fucking Baby steps.
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11
Jun
He Graduamatated with Honors!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I closed the comments on the last two posts.
I’ve made it clear in the past that I don’t acknowledge hate mail and I usually blacklist any emails or comments that will cause people to get crazy. When the
comment came through, I reacted out of complete anger because honestly that and sadness is the only thing I am running on. I could have burst into tears,
but instead I told a perfect stranger to fuck off. That is not me, and I am sorry.
Today I emailed the person that sent the message. I didn’t want to come at anyone out of anger so I waited until I was in a good mood. I needed to know why. I
wanted honesty. I wanted it respectfully.
She emailed me back and even though It’s clear she doesn’t know what type of person I am, she was respectful and HONEST.
I emailed her back and tried to explain that her honesty comes off a bit bitter and I tried to explain who I am and where I was coming from. I haven’t heard
back from her. I’m writing this post on faith that she isn’t penning the meanest email in the world that I will have to forward to Dooce so she can run it over in
her car.
No, I believe that it ended on a good note. I am certain that her email was honest and from the heart and she doesn’t really understand the dynamics of what
Random and Odd was built on.
I hope that she does find the time to get to know us and realizes where we have all been, how we have all been here for each other.
I know I would be pissed if someone left a mean comment on your blog and I would probably go off too, but I ask that we move past that. The negativity isn’t
positive. Try to see things from her point of view, that she just doesn’t understand and it’s okay to not understand and sometimes people just come off the
wrong way in comments. *crossing fingers* Let’s just let it all go, M’kay?
I’m sorry I said, ‘fuck you’. That was mean and uncalled for.
AND on to Tyler’s graduation. He pulled it off with honors. He was all smiles all night long. I held it together long enough to get through the night.
The picture above is Tyler, His mother, The Ex(who managed to only cry once –the whole time) and Shaun. They have watched Tabitha’s son, Dennis
graduate from HS and boot camp. Then they watched Tabitha’s daughter, Jen graduate from HS and give birth and watch her blossom into a wonderful
mother. Now they watched their son graduate from high school. In 3 more years they watch their daughter Marina cross that same stage to get her diploma (IF
she will actually pass P.E. every year!)
I can’t wait to print out these pictures for her. She always frames my pictures and hangs them in her apartment. That always makes me smile when I am over
there. My work in someone’s home. I am still working on getting some of my ‘fun’ pictures up. Perhaps that will be a good distraction huh?
If happen to be on Flickr, please let me know which one you think should be printed, matted and hung on my walls. The only pictures I have right now
happen to be of Jeremiah or my brats.
[sidenote: the judge on So You Think You Can Dance, her voice is going to make me jab pencils in my ears]
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11
Jun
**UPDATED**
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Thank you all for the emails and phone calls. Despite someone who spent 42 minutes on my blog and came to the conclusion that I adore the dramatic
attention, I’m moving on.
For those of you that know me, have read the ‘about me’ part know that, you–my readers, pretty much run the show and I only listen to what you have to say.
Your words are what matters and I thank you for them.
In the past I haven’t really had a hard time letting you all know of the details of my life. Right now, I’m not ready to talk about it. I’m sure there will come a
time when I can share my story, my pain, my hurt and hopefully you will be able to say, “Oh, i’ve been there…” or “I thought I was the only one.” For right
now, I am trying to find a place where I can get through the day without acting out of anger.
Like I said, Random and Odd is just a small part of my life. I know because I do share so much of my life, that it would seem that my ‘little family ditties’ is all
I have going on. It’s not. It’s just the best part. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have financial problems (by the way, I do have an outside job, if the person had
spent more than 42 minutes on my blog — from her job, which I called, by the way), I do spend time in my bed…like right now, my girls and I are laying here
watching CNN (like most mornings), I do exercise…and believe it or not, I do go for walks (8,200 pictures on flickr don’t get taken from bed)
And on my final note; My teenagers, my mother and my sister read ALL of your words that you leave here, please don’t write mean or cruel words here. Like
Thumper’s dad said: “If you don’t have anything nice, don’t say ‘nuthin at all.”
Many of the emails I did get, I’m sorry if I didn’t respond. Putting sentences together right now isn’t the easiest thing to do (like you couldn’t tell) Of course,
“What about SPF?” No worries about that. Fridays will always be Friday here.
June 13 – A child’s toy. If you have children you have a lot to choose from. If you don’t have children then you have never had a Polly Pocket leg shoved
through the bottom of your foot and you should count yourself lucky. It should be easy to find a child’s toy…if your significant other is a child–you’re in luck!
And for my adorable little ‘family ditty’ of the day: The girls and I are watching CNN and they are interviewing Mario Lopez. The realize that he was the guy
from “Saved By Bell” (re-re-re-reran on their network) and Alyx asks Kara, “How old is he?”
Kara says, “God, he’s OLD…that show was like from the 80′s.”
P.S. Who works at midwest-health.com in Lawrence, Kansas? Email me at randomandodd at gmail dot com, because hopefully it’s someone I know because I
have got 3 phone calls from the IT department and some administrator. I’m giving whoever it is 30 minutes to email me and let me know who you are before I
call them back and give them all the information I have.
COMMENTS CLOSED
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06
Jun
and a small good-bye to Random and Odd
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. I am no longer dwelling on the shut door and looking for the open window.
Please forgive me as I take a break from here until I can managed to put all the things in my life in a box and figure out what to do with them.
I love you all,
Kristine
COMMENTS CLOSED
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30
Jun
Options…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
The dog ate the crotch out of my favorite sweats.
Or
My crotch is spilling acid and it ate the crotch out of my favorite sweats.
Or both.
Either way, the dog is dead to me now.
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27
Jun
Words of advice..
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Jeremiah
I just figured out why parents hate it when people curse in public when little kids are present.
“God, it’s Fuuuuuh (quickly correcting my language in front of Jeremiah) Fuuuhh-reaking HOT ouside!”
“It’s Fuckreaking hot out here!”
“No, it’s just hot, Jeremiah.”
“No, it’s fuckreaking hot out here.”
20 minutes later:
Kara gets into the van after summer school.
“Whooo…man.” She says as she falls into the backseat.
“It’s fuckreaking HOT out there, Kiki”
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27
Jun
Stuff Portrait Friday
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday, tyler
The Children are our Future
Taking these pictures were hard on Shaun. Seeing him in a tux..and then when he put on his cap and gown…you could actually see his heart being ripped
from his chest.
This is our future. Nooooot too shabby if I do say so myself.
Did you play?
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25
Jun
Reading, Reading, Writing…healing?
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday to find a book on photography. They, OF COURSE, didn’t have it and I found myself being pulled to the self help
section.
Not being a fan of the self help book because I can’t ever finish one, I don’t know why I went over there.
Just to see what was there, I started reading the titles of the books.
The best title that I found was, “If You Want Closure In Your Relationship. Start with your Legs.” I actually spit out latte when I read that one.
I’m on a search for answers lately. I was hoping after Shaun’s meeting last week that we would be handed the answers and a name for the problem. Not the
case.
So instead of searching for a name, I’m searching for what my next step in the whole process is.
There was a book I bought and I got to the middle before I began to grow bored with it. For once I wasn’t being torn into such self awareness that I couldn’t
handle reading it anymore. I was actually BORED with it. I jumped to the last part of the book instead of being suckered into reading the whole thing so I can
get the full fulfillment.
During the whole process of this self help thing, I decided the best way to get through where I am, outside of therapy, is to to write it out. I opened up my
email and began writing chapter one of my own book. Instead of blogging it, I’m actually going to write it out and re-read and MAYBE even put some sort of
organizational rhyme to it.
Once I get to the end of the chapters I am writing, I grab the list of names I would use if I wrote a book and use it as motivation to get to the next part.
The book is titled; “How to read a Self Help Book. or not. A walk through failed attempts at fixing my problems, by reading about yours.” Or something like
that. I haven’t decided.
Chapter one is already got a title: “How to not kill him and bury him the backyard.”
What I need from you is what you get from Random and Odd. What would you suggest I put in there? What are some witty chapter titles? I think Chapter two
will be, “I’m writing a book through my email account because I don’t have Microsoft Word on my computer.” who knows?
The book, that is nothing more than just my personal attempt at getting down to the bare bones of my life, will never be published. Oh dear no. But after I
finish it. (ha! now THAT is funny) I will post it somewhere so you can read it if you’re interested.
Things the ‘book’ will cover: Co-dependency, Anxiety, Divorce, Ex’s, Failures, Accomplishments, Secrets, being a step mom, yeah, pretty much everything
you’ve read on here…with just less rambling. maybe.
Suggestions?
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24
Jun
Sponge…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
He’s at that age where he repeats everything you say.
My advice is not to say, “Fucking Dishwasher!” in front of him. Doesn’t matter how many times you try to reprogram those two words into something else, he
will just keep repeating them back at you just to watch you squirm.
I’m watching Jeremiah for the week while Lisa is on vacation. My goal is to make sure she spends the next 4 weeks trying to erase all my bad influences on
him.
So far; “Auntie is the best!” “I am SOOOO cool.” “UNCALLED FOR!” “Niner’s Suck!” and “You’re killing me, Homes!”
He’s totally cute when he says, “What’s up, Homeslice?”
Any suggestions?
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23
Jun
low class is looking good
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Shaun and I shot two events on Sunday and because we keep saying we are going to actually BUY something with the money we make being photographers
instead of bending over and handing it to our mortgage company, we bought a GPS for our car.
We travel to all corners of California taking pictures and neither one of us are map experts. He believes in the road signs and I believe in “DAMN IT SHAUN!
GOD! THE PRINT OUT FROM GOOGLE MAPS HAS SCREWED US AGAIN!” I can’t tell you how many times I have been pulled from the floorboard of the car in
tears, mumbling, ‘turn left, not that left, the one up there. oh god, make it stop.’
I can get lost in a paper bag. ‘Cita has GPS built into her car and because of it, my job as co-pilot has been reduced to making sure I have topics for our car
trip games and being able to look up our destination and hit ‘go’. Easy Breezy. Bring on the paper bags and one way streets.
We bought the discontinued version. It comes with bluetooth, mp3 player and says the streets. The new one with just the bluetooth was the same price as my
mortgage payment. I can afford to be lost at that price.
Today we decided that the woman on our GPS was sort of annoying so we played around with it and decided that we would rather have the nice British lady
spewing instructions at us. It makes it feel like we are driving a luxury car instead of the green mini-van.
We are purposely driving around to streets that would sound good coming from the British woman in that little box. We keep repeating the name of the streets
and giggling. “SHE SAID COURT FUNNY!” *roaring laughter*
The name of the main street we live off of sounds SO much more exciting and upper class when said in a British accent.
After we got home, I asked Shaun if he would refill my drink and he said, “If you promise to stop talking in the accent. forever.”
What? I thought I had nailed it!
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