2005 Jan - Feb

04
Jan
You want me to leave the house?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety

To add to my other problems, I have found that I don’t really like leaving my house between certain hours and cirtain circumstances.
I will leave the house between the hours of 6:00-8:30 am. After 8:30 am I have become freak woman about wanting to leave. I also don’t mind driving after 6:00

pm, IF I have already left the house once that day.
Isn’t that stupidest case of agoraphobia that you ever heard?
—Okay, i’m going to come clean here. I had to look up the spelling of agoraphobia and in the process of looking it up I started reading about it. I know

people actually have this disorder, but I thought it was like that movie I saw once where the woman COULD NOT leave her house NO MATTER WHAT. Guess

what? It doesn’t have to be that bad! Everyone who knows me, knows I take medication for panic attacks. I get them off and on and when they hit, they hit

hard. It happens in Target, big supermarkets, busy places or places I feel trapped. I have learned ways to avoid those situations…DON’T GO THERE. If I do go

there, I go during hours that it is less busy or if I am with someone. NEVER GO ALONE.
I never thought I might actually have some sort of agoraphobia…I joked that I did because there has been times where the thought of leaving the house scares

the living shit out of me…but I thought it had to do with my laziness and nothing to do with my panic disorder. I could relate the two, but not actually put a

‘name’ to the disorder.

Well, I guess this whole thing makes sense now, and now that I know, I can try to find a way to get through it. I don’t like to leave because I have panic attacks

in those hours…which is true. If I leave early enough the big-bad-ass panic attacks haven’t kicked in yet (they creep in around 9 or 10 am) and later in the day I

have taken my medication and they are not so bad.
Well, thanks to the internet I have solved my not wanting to leave the house mystery.
I was actually going to write about having to leave the house today and it was like pulling out teeth. The ex came over and wanted to give me my car back (he

borrowed it for a couple of weeks) and in this case he was going to have to drive me over to his apartment to get the car so I could drive it home. Not only do I

not want to leave the house…I don’t want to drive. I haven’t driven in almost 2 weeks! I LOVE DRIVING, it’s my favoritest thing to do in the whole world. well,

not really, but I love driving.
Anyway, I made it home, but before I could leave I had to panic about everything. The car had a strange sound, the seat and steering wheel were set all funny,

the car had this HORRIBLE SMELL. It smelled like wet cat and stale farts. Not to be mixed up with the smell that dry cats and fresh farts make.

I think I am going to look up ‘super sonic hearing’. I swear, since Christmas I have noticed that I can hear EVERYTHING. I can hear what you’re thinking

RIGHT NOW, and that’s not very nice of you!
No really, I have super hearing lately. I wonder what panic disorder THAT is.

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03
Jan
Warning!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
This is a warning:
You are going to come home to me wearing the SAME clothes I have been wearing for two days.
You are going to come home to pissed off kids because I am not removing myself from this computer to do anything for them except raise my eyebrow when

they question my will.
You are going to come home to me on the computer rambling incoherently about hazmat and halon balls.
I will be saying, “Why is there no picture of the east side!? WHERE IS THE PPE!!???” over and over again.
I might not cook today.
I might not eat today.
I might not shower.
BUT BY THE LOVE OF GOD, I AM GOING TO FINISH THESE SITES!

and on a side note: If you’re the MF who keeps calling here and NOT LEAVING A MESSAGE, i’m not answering because I think you are Wells Fargo Auto

Finance and I told you already, ON FRIDAY…I WILL SEND YOU THE MONEY ON FRIDAY!
I will not be changing my message to reflect that you need to leave a message for me to call you back. That’s totally obnoxious…and i’m not obnoxious. LOL.

Yeah.

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03
Jan
why i don’t want to get up
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety, Random


I have laundry to do today. Lots of it. I also have this side job thing I need to finish. I don’t want to be out of bed. Why? Here, let me show you…



See, this is heaven! 600 thread count sheets (thanks mom) and my Nautica comforter. This is fucking heaven! I even have a TV in here.

BUT, the coffee maker isn’t in here, so let’s get up.



I swear, if I don’t know how people who don’t drink coffee do it. I don’t know how I did it before I took up the habit FIVE years ago. Okay, the coffee is done,

and it’s time to consider taking a shower. Why? WHY? because look at what I look like in the morning…



I know, it’s endearing how adorable I can look.

Time to work…no really. I am going to sit down at this here computer and do some work, If my mouse pad thing wasn’t squishy and so entertaining I might

get something done.





No really, as fun as it is playing with the squishy thing and seeing how loud my desk chair can get. I need to get some work done. SOMETHING.



Oooh, more coffee. This is going to cause SERIOUS anxiety attacks…and many trips to the bathroom.



Now if this isn’t an anxiety attack waiting to happen! This is the border in my bathroom that drives me nuts. I can’t even pee in this bathroom anymore

because the color of the bathroom causes me to go into a heart racing attack. Ugh…what was I thinking when I put that shit up on my walls?



No worries. My fish will fix the problems. I don’t know why, but I love this fish-spoon holder thingy. It’s ugly as hell, but I love it.



Breakfast will help me get motivated. Yes, a donut or frosted flakes…oh wait. I forgot. I’m ‘changing my outside along with the inside’. No more frosted flakes

at noon.
The outside still is wearing mismatched fuzzie socks, flannel bottoms and my fucked up robe with red wine and coffee spills on it. My inside wants to match

it!! I want a damn donut.

I guess I should put down the blog and get back to work. Or, actually, get TO work.

So now that you know me in the morning…wait until you see me at night. “Reow!” I look just as sexy at 6pm IN THE SAME DAMN CLOTHES!

No, that’s changing too. I will shower by …1 pm. I will NOT get back into my cozies and I will NOT eat a corn dog instead of a salad.

If I am going to pull of this bitch thing and be nagging little people and big people to pick up their shit, I better be doing it in a pair of pants and not a robe

and flannels. Because that just makes me look like a crazy bitch and not a serious one. right?

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02
Jan
It’s a crap shoot…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats


I’m trying this new thing. I’m being a bitch. I mean, I’m following behind people and just nagging the hell out of them to pick up the crap that they left sitting

on the table/floor/bathroom counter/kitchen counter.

It’s a crap shoot, but it just might work.

I remember being at my grandma’s house and you KNEW not to leave the bathroom light on. You KNEW that if you took a piece of paper to draw on, you used

BOTH sides. These are things you knew because grandma was up your ass telling you to wipe off the counter if you make a mess.

I see my kids at other people’s homes. They DO NOT spit their gum out and if it doesn’t make in the trash, they don’t turn around and walk away! If they spill

half the juice on the kitchen table, they DO NOT leave it to dry. THEY CLEAN IT UP!
Why can’t they do this crap at home.

Because up until now, I haven’t been a bitch on a minute by minute basis. I let it build up until I turn into a slobbering, crying mess in the bedroom saying, “I

just can’t do this anymore. I just can’t!!”

Yeah. I’m going to be turbo bitch for ONE month. If it works…I might just take this crap shoot on the road and sell it.

I will call it, “MINUTE BY MINUTE BITCH – BY THE ANXIETY RIDDEN, CRYING, SCREAMING, FREAKING OUT, OVERWHELMED MOTHER”

Want my autograph?

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01
Jan
Sacked out at 7pm!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

This was the second year in a row I was sick for new years. I was ‘recovering’ from Christmas and the other crap that made me sick this week.

Things that DIDN’T happen this new years celebration.

1. I didn’t drink so much that I pass out before midnight.

2. Justin and Rachel didn’t have a drinking game that was based soley on who took a drink of soda or went to the bathroom thus ending in SOMEONE

throwing up Kettle One and passing out on the bathroom floor.

3. I didn’t get to see ‘Cita. It was the first time in years we weren’t together.

4. I wasn’t kissed at midnight. It’s a stupid tradition anyway.

5. I didn’t make some stupid resolution I am going to break.

As for the other shit. Yeah, I took care of it. I gave myself 6 months to be where I want to be. If I am not there at least I will be strong enough make a change.
The ‘strong enough’ part is what I have to work on. It’s so much easier to just stay where I am than to make that change.

Welcome to day one.

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17
Jan
For Dooce
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun


I asked Shaun what he wanted to do on the one child free weekend we had this month.
He did the typical guy, “I don’t know.”
I suggested we get up early Saturday morning and drive into San Francisco and spend the day kicking it around the city like other cool people do.
Well the thought of driving all the way to SF, dealing with parking and knowing I would drag his ass into every novelty store to show him stupid things like

key chains, postcards and whoopie cushions went over about as well as a fart in church.
He did the eye thing he does. It’s sort of ‘are you fucking crazy!’ and ‘sweetie, are you fucking crazy?’. It’s a statement and ‘feeling out the situation’ –

question. I can read all this just by his eyebrow crawling into his hairline. I should write a book on guys and eyebrow lifting. Many things can be learned

about men by watching how far the eyebrow goes up.

So as punishment for denying my ‘cool’ weekend I made him go to the casino with his parents.

His parents are cool. Not openly cool though. My mom is cool, and you know it. She’s like the Fonz kinda cool and they are more the Cuttingham’s type of

cool.
Shaun has an allotted time he sets aside for ‘parent visiting’. We had dinner with them on Friday night that means he’s in the clear for about 2 or 3 weeks. He

also doesn’t gamble. You see how my punishment is coming into play?

They picked us up and we headed out to OROVILLE, CA. To those of you that aren’t familiar with Oroville…it’s where most of the jokes that Jeff Foxworthy on

his “You might be a redneck if…” comedy tour come from.
No joke. Look back at the top of the page. See that picture? CHOCOLATE COVERED PRUNES! That is a sign you not only see ONCE on the way to this

particular casino, but you see every THREE miles until you get to the BARN the store is in.

The casino wasn’t that bad.
I couldn’t figure out why I was getting so much attention though.
“Would you like to sit here, Ma’am?”
“Howdy, Ma’am.”
“How are you Ma’am?”
“You wanna giggle my handle Ma’am?”
“I got some deer meat fer ya Ma’am.”
I was the belle of the ball! I found out later I was hated by every woman there because I was the only woman there WITH ALL OF HER TEETH!

So yeah, I’m going back. I gotta pick up some of those chocolate covered prunes for Dooce and I promised Billy Joe-John I would go huntin’ with him.

Anyone want some deer meat?

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16
Jan
Thank You Internet
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
I am blown away by the responses I got for “A Letter To Julia”.

An outpouring of love and well wishes by just the mention of a little girl who’s first day of being 13. The same girl who is being treated horribly by some cruel

girls. The same girl who has a heart of gold. You guys stepped up and not only wished her well, a happy birthday and things will get better, you told stories of

when you were 13 and how awkward it was.
We all have our ‘mean girl’ stories and I think that is what made us all feel for Julia.

[sidenote] Mean Girls from my past: if you’re reading this: HA! IN YOUR FACE! I turned out to be a pretty damn good woman! I might not have been the head

cheerleader or been a part of the ‘cool crowd’, but I have friends you WILL NEVER HAVE. I may not have had all the popular jeans, watches and shoes and

you may have made fun of me because I was poor, but look at me now.
And I had better hair than you. It was bigger and had WAY more feather than yours.
[/sidenote]

My sister was inspired by a comment that KC made for Julia and even wrote her own 13 year old horror story . It’s sometimes weird to think back 30 years and

STILL remember the name of the kid that picked on you when you were that young.

I wanted to thank Heather for being the person she is that inspires people like you to go to her web page and read her stories and be a part of her online

community. You are all fantastic people with huge hearts and I am SO glad I have become a part of your little online world.

I will give you a ‘Julia Update’ as soon as I hear how she is doing. I have forwarded her all the emails that I have gotten and the address to this blog. Thank

you, each one of you, for wishing her a happy birthday and letting her know that it’s going to be okay.

I wish there was something I could do for you all in return.

I think I have some McDonald bucks I could share.

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15
Jan
A letter to Julia,
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Happy birthday little one. You’re 13 years old. I have known your mother since you were 6 years old, yet I have never met you. The picture above is in fact the

only time I have with your mother. It was a weekend a million years ago where we all got together at my apartment and hung out. It was her bachlorette slash

birthday party.

Some people when I tell them that I met some of my bestest friends through the computer, they look at me funny. They think I’m a loser who can’t make

friends in ‘the real world’. Well, for those people, all I have to say is, “You never met Laura.”
I tried to explain to them who my friend Laura was. Somehow if you don’t know who Laura is, you just don’t get it.

Your mother changed my life by just being here. She is understanding, smart, funny, loving, headstrong, a big ol’ brat, and she is one of my bestest friends.

Julia, someday you are going to meet someone, and you’re going to become friends with this person and you are going to change her life forever because

you are who you are and have been through the things that you have been through.
You are going to be understanding to feelings, hurt, loyalty and friendship. You are going to make someone so very happy just being their friend.

I don’t think your mom will ever know how she has effected my life. She is open and talks about her happiness and her sorrows. She touches the lives of

everyone she comes in contact with. You’re going to be the same way. You are going to make the difference in many people lives.

I am blessed to have your mother. Someone will be saying the same thing about you. I promise.

Happy Birthday Princess. I hope to be able to meet you in March.

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13
Jan
The only proof I was in Canada
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


“What do you want to do while you’re in Seattle?” She asked me.
“I would like to see the space needle.”
“Okay, it’s about 30 minutes in traffic. Go pack your stuff and put it in the car. I’ll get a bag together.”

You don’t question Mary. She’s like that episode of FRIENDS where they talk about their friend that every they go out they pack bug spray, extra pair of socks,

passport….
Everytime you leave the house, even if it’s to just go to the space needle for the day, you must remember to have an extra pair of underwear, about 300 bucks,

and some hairspray.

After 4 attempts at leaving the house, we finally left. luggage,cell phones, digital cameras, regular camera, wine coolers, smoke(s), Mary’s i-just-had-a-

hysterectomy-and-have-to-take-a-million-pills-or-i-am-a-raging-bitch-with-hot-flashes medication, credit cards, Indian casino frequent player cards, AC/DC

cd….did I mention she’s a Mormon? well I think she took a mini vacation the week I was in Seattle. I swear, I’m not a bad influence, she just needed a reason.

“Look it’s coming up on your left.” I look for the one thing that people would ask if I had seen everytime I got home from Seattle.
“The space needle?”
“Yeah, to your left….riiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiight THERE!”
There it was, The fucking space needle. I was going to finally get to go up there.
“Did you see it?” she asked.
“Yeah, it’s right there!” I got out, ‘yeah’ when I felt the car jerk to the right as we took the off ramp…..TO CANADA!
“I thought we were going to see the space needle.”
“Did you see the space needle? – Yeah – Okay, you saw it, now I’m taking you to Canada.”

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

DISCLAIMER: in the sentences following will include illegal things and character destroying information. Keep reading, this is where the story gets good.

We cracked open everything. The wine coolers, the cigs, the smoke and some medication Mary thought would make a good combination with the 8 wine

coolers we would put down on the way to the Canadian border.
We blared the music and had what I could call, “The Best Road Trip EVER”

[Closet Metro...you're a weenie for sending me that picture, but I still love you.]

We didn’t have a hotel on Memorial Day weekend in Vancouver Canada. We drove around to ALL the hotels. ALL BOOKED. We could theoretically sleep in her

car, but our hair was too big to house both of us. Mary offered sexual favors to the guy at the holiday inn if he would give us a room. It worked and we got a

suite.

Now from about here on, things are fuzzy. I’m guessing the smoke, wine, medication and exhaustion had finally kicked in.

After dancing at 5 different clubs we ended up at this really cool bar that had a swanky restaurant with short tables and chairs. It was one of those dark, classy

bars that don’t cater to the rowdy crowd. I knew I was getting old because when we walked in there and it was quiet and dark I felt like saying, “Oh thank GOD,

no loud music and young kids!”, totally forgetting I was just a part of that ‘rowdy crowd’ that was dancing wildly with young men and laughing as loud as the

music and singing, “I will survive” at the top of my lungs.

This is the bar I tried Absenthe at. That story is tomorrow…and the picture.

And for the record, yes…there is something about Mary. She’s crazy, but I’m glad I packed my bag and grabbed my camera. :)

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12
Jan
Shea Said:
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: shea
“Mommy, guess what? [she doesn't wait for me to guess anymore because I was so obnoxious by 'guessing' a million different things, thinking it would make

her laugh, but just annoyed her...not enough to get her to stop saying, 'guess what' though]”
“uh…[trying to think of a new one I haven't used] uh…”
“We got a new girl in our class!”
“You di…” she cuts me off here.
“Shhh, yes, we did! When the teacher said what her name was, I knew she was going to be my new bestfriend!” She’s so dramatic anyway, but this was

serious.
“Guess what her name is!”
“uh…”
“BECKY! HER NAME IS BECKY!!”
[side note, Shea sounds like she is from Brooklyn so if you’re reading this, do it in a Boston or Brooklyn accent. “Her” sounds like she is saying, “Whore”.
“WHORE NAME IS BECKY!”
Now, I kinda know where this is going. She can sing every word to “Baby Got Back” and has been able to do this since she was 5. Remember the accent? It

makes the song even funnier. I know she’s going to say, “OH MY GOD BECKY!” to this poor girl a million times before they move into second grade and the

little girl is probably going to kill Shea before they get to summer break.
Shea looks at me and says, “Mommy, if she ever goes away and then comes back…I will be able to say, “OH MY GOD BECKY, YOU GOT BACK!”

It dawns on me at this moment. The whole time Shea has been singing this song to us she hasn’t figured out that ‘having back’ means having a ‘big butt’
To my sweet six year old daughter it means exactly what she is saying, “Baby got back.”
The baby went somewhere, and when it came home…it got back.

My sweet girl.

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10
Jan
The Farkle Family…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: The Fonz
Did I mention my mom has the craziest sense of humor?
She does.
This was the year she went into the joke store and bought a pair of Billy Bob teeth for everyone in the family.She called me one day laughing so hard I

couldn’t understand what she was saying. When my mom is laughing that hard, you have to laugh with her.
She said, “I bought these teeth and me and Kathy drove around all day and I smiled at people and freaked them out!”

Keep in mind, I still have NO idea what she’s talking about because she’s laughing so hard and the Billy Bob teeth had not become popular yet.

I convince her to take a picture and send it to me.
This is what I get in my email box:



THIS IS FUNNY SHIT. My mom drove around town all day, smiling at people with those teeth in and those glasses!! After I could finally understand what she

was saying through the giggling, she said her favorite part was pulling up in the drive thru and ordering a soda.

She said she bought me and my ex a pair and she was going to send them. She wanted me to take a picture.
Not to be out done by my sister (see beautiful picture below)



I decided to really out-do her. Yes, this picture will frighten you…because I AM TOO SEXY FOR MYSELF!



Halloween ROCKED this year! check out the socks and flip flops. I am straight trailer trash.
I was getting back to my roots.

My auntie and uncle are what you would say…’stuffy’ so when I got this picture from my mom a week later I peed on myself.



I don’t know what she paid them to agree to this picture. I’m pretty damn certain they never would have guessed I would be posting it for the world to see…

but, hey, I need the ratings.

My dad is a funny guy, he would do something like this. BUT WITHOUT A SHIRT ON?



Dan and I were married when the “Farkle Family” pictures were taken. He went into work at AT&T Wireless (He was a cellular tech. manager at the time) and he

almost got kicked out of the building because NO ONE knew who he was!



Not to leave anyone out from the first round (and I say this, because my mom managed to get EVERYONE in the family to pose with some jacked up grill and

coke bottle glasses) we even have Shea who was a baby at the time.



If your asking yourself, “Who are the Farkles?”
We are, you are…anyone who takes a really bad picture where they look REALLY stupid…that’s what we call the Farkles. Don’t ask me where it came from…

Probably my weird ass mom.

Anyway, just in case anyone was thinking I was just one hot momma, here’s a picture for the road to remind you..that with just a little of make up and time

spent in front of the mirror…you too could look this…Fuck*ed up.



Damn, i’m hot. LOL.

*note the word ‘fuck’ was used in this post. I am trying to be more like mrs. britches

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09
Jan
The Year of
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I believe in hope.
I believe this year will be better than the last. It has to be.
I will make the choices that are right for me.
I believe in hope.

Change is good. I am ready for change. Change will NOT scare me.

So far I am 9 days into this new year and I can actually FEEL things changing for the better.
It’s all about going full balls towards what I want.

If I don’t get what I want, I will turn and walk away and never look back.

In the end…I will be happy with the choices I make and in everything I am doing.

I believe in hope.

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06
Jan
Alyx as a Baby
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: alyx

Today, this baby girl turns EIGHT.

I swear, and I mean this like no other parent has EVER meant this, SHE WAS JUST A BABY!

I’m not going to go into the whole sappy story of how she was born, even though it’s a really good story, because it’s about the cutest baby girl in the whole

world. Oh shut up…today she gets to be the cutest baby girl in the whole world. Tomorrow, your kid can go back to being the cutest.



Look at these little feet! I took this picture when she was two. I thought, I better get some pictures of these itty bitty feet. I don’t think they have gotten any

bigger!!



Alyx is an angel. There is no other way to describe her personality.
When she was 2 she would come up to me and say,
“It’s my bed time. Good night.” and she would be in her jammies. She would climb into bed and go to sleep. I love this baby girl SO much.



Her personality has changed over the years. She was always shy and quiet. Now she is past being that shy little girl and is just reserved.
When you first meet her you think she is a quiet girl. Once she is comfortable with you…you can’t shut her up. My sister named her, “Lady Chatalot”



She has always been a happy little girl. When she laughs, It breaks my heart because I know she won’t always have that little girl giggle.



She has an opinion and she is not afraid to tell you what it is. She hated this costume.
ALL of her Halloween pictures look JUST like this one.
“Mom, I hate you. Take this stupid costume OFF OF ME NOW!”



She broke her arm last summer. She was brave. I wasn’t.
My baby was broken.
Mike Bibby is her favorite Sacramento Kings basketball player, so during the (It’s always so hard to talk about the broken arm because I get all weirded out)

whole ‘rebreaking and setting’ of her arm the doctor asked her questions about who her favorite player was….blah blah blah…all the while he is REBREAKING

HER ARM to set into place.
He said most kids have to be put out for that to happen. Not myAlyx…she had a choice to have it reset or to just cast it up as is…she wanted it to be ‘normal’

again. She chose to have her arm rebroken.



She turns eight today. I can’t believe it…she was just a little baby.

Happy Birthday baby girl!

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05
Jan
Back to Work
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I’m back to work Thursday.

No more dooce-commenting all day
I have to find matching socks.
oh god, I have to get up at 5 am to get ready.
*sigh* No blog hopping to Fish, Sarcastic Journalist, Metro, Girl A, Crazy-us, Scott, Julie…and the DEAR GOD I read a lot of blogs ALL DAY LONG!
Withdrawls…i’m going to go through withdrawls!You suckers better email me ALL DAY LONG! oh wait…OH NO! I won’t be able to check my email every ten

minutes!
Oh please…just kill me now.

P.S. I drive a Dodge Neon & Toyota Camry, not a Jeep. Come on…did you see the town I live in?
I would get kicked out if I dare to drive a FUN car!

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05
Jan
I learned something today
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I HAD to get out today. I needed to bring the neighbor boy to school because the mom couldn’t.
I learned stuff today.
skipping is the only way you can get out of the ‘no running’ rule on the playground. It’s okay if you look like an idiot skipping across the playground and

going JUST as fast as you would if you were running, just as long as you’re NOT running.
I got dressed today. YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME? okay, I wouldn’t either, that is why I took pictures!

Yes, I even put on jeans. Yes, I have proof. I also have proof that I own a pair of shoes THAT MATCH (unlike my socks)



[sidenote]I shouldn’t wear my Ethies sweatshirt into the high school. I freaked the shit out of some high school boys today when I went to bring Tyler some

money.
“Dude, did you see that chick wearing an Ethies sweatshirt?”
“Yeah…like when did it cool for old chicks to wear Ethies?”
After I dropped of the neighbor boy, I found Marina and Kara roaming around school.

“Hi Kristine.”
“Hey!!” I start walking up to Marina
“What are you doing here? Are you getting us out of class?” she says very hopeful.
“Nope, just dropping off Preston. Where’s Kara?”
“Uh…..she wasn’t in class, she left for a few minutes. Probably going to the bathroom too.” She holds up the ‘pottypass’.
I see Kara cruising across the school towards us. We make our way to the bathroom.
“Kristine, can you bring us lunch?” Marina asks.
“Yeah, what time is your lunch?”

This is where I realize that in 6th grade you don’t know what time it is…everything is equated to what period they are in.

“After social studies.” she says.
“When is social studies?” I ask.
She looks at me like i’m stupid. “Right now.” She holds up the potty pass like I should understand what that means.
Kara clues me in, “Why do you think we’re in the bathroom?”

Yeah. I had forgotten how many trips I made to the bathroom in 6th grade during social studies.

I agreed to bring them lunch, but I had to go to the bank first and pick up a computer that needs to be fixed.

I get to the bank and I see the funniest sign on the door. I didn’t take a picture, because I was laughing too hard.

“Our tellers do not have access to cash.”

I am SO using the wrong the bank. What is the purpose for the teller again? oh yeah, TO GIVE YOU CASH!
I was still giggling when I got to the teller.
“Can I help you?” She asks.
“Not according to the sign on the door.” I say.
“I know. You don’t know how many times a day I hear that.”

Apparently I am not the only person in my town that sensed the ironic humor of that sign. Hmmm, I don’t give the people in this town enough credit.

Speaking of ‘this town’.

I was actually walking around the school today thinking about how much shit I talk about this yuppie ass town I live in, but push coming to shove (yes, I

speak in the present) I really do love this town. I don’t want to move. I love the school and that everyone here loves my girls and I can’t even go into a local

store without someone saying, “Oh god, your girls are so sweet!” or go into the school without everyone knowing who the ‘Stone Girls’ are. The lady that

takes the lunch money grinned so hard I thought she was going to hurt herself when I brought in lunch for the girls and paid up their account.
“I just LOVE your little girls! Little Alyx just makes my day, every single day! Her smile is what makes me come into work!”
Now that is some serious love. I don’t want to move. EVER.

I’m home now. I’m in my cozy comfies. All is right in the world again.

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26
Jan
Damn Phone!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I got a phone call today. It went something like this:

Ring (that’s usually how it starts)

ME: “Hello, this is Kristine.”

MY COZY COMFIES: “Uh, hi. It’s me, your flannel pajama bottoms.”

Blink…blink…

ME: “Hi.”

MY COZY COMFIES: “the reason i’m calling is, well…me and the fuzzy socks were laying here on the floor where you left us this morning…and we,

uh..well…we were wondering when you were coming home.”

ME: (crouching down so no one in the office could see me or hear me talking to my britches) “I’ll be home later.”

MY COZY COMFIES: “Promise?”

ME: “I promise.”

MY COZY COMFIES: “You’re not going to go out with [name removed per request] tonight and go to Bingo are you? Cause you came home that one night and

we thought you were staying….STOP IT, IM ON THE PHONE!…where was I?”

ME: “Who were you yelling at?”

MY COZY COMFIES: “The big baggy t-shirt. He wants to know what time. He wants a exact minute.”

ME: “Am I going crazy?”

MY COZY COMFIES: “I don’t think so.” (shuffling sounds from the background) “Oh, the mismatched fuzzy socks said that yes, you are crazy.”

ME: “I’ve really gotta go now.”

MY COZY COMFIES: “I miss you.”

blink…blink.

ME: “OH God I miss you too!”

MY COZY COMFIES: “You say bye first.”

I’m not answering my phone tomorrow.

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25
Jan
D.E.S
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, Random, Shaun


Greg brought me his Digital Rebel to play with at work. The conversation is email exchange between Shaun and I for the next hour.

Title of email: You’re going to hate me.

Me: I want the Canon Digital Rebel. NOW.

Shaun:
Stop. You have a sickness, honey. I had an intervention planned, but obviously this needs to be addressed.

Hope you’re sitting down…….DIGITAL ENVY SYNDROME

What is it? Digital Envy Syndrome(DES) is a psychological affliction which causes its host to crave electronic, digital, or computer-related items which have

been celebrated by other users. DES sufferers are usually symptomatic for years before proper diagnosis (which should only occur by proper CompUSA or

Fry’s authorized representatives). Symptoms include a constant need, desire, or craving to electronically upgrade beyond the needs of the patient as well as

an unusually large pile of digital cameras.

Me:
I was talking to my doctor about this problem JUST this morning. He said he thought he had DES too, but after getting the Digital Rebel all DES was cleared

up and in fact he has more respect for the digital camera’s from his past. He has released his ghosts and no longer has those horrible cravings.

Shaun:
You sound like a crack addict trying to get that high they got the first time. I’m going to find you in an alley someday behind a trail of full memory cards.

Me:
Now you’re just talking crazy! *twitch* My doctor gave me this prescription to avoid any side effects that may occur. [insert picture of Canon Digital Rebel from

above]

Shaun:
Actually, you’re without insurance at this time. The clinic phoned this one in:



I guess i’m not getting a new camera after all.

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25
Jan
The only one I like…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, Random

Shaun likes to make pictures now that I have hooked him up with some new software and Tyler (the 14 year old) gave him some quick tutorials.

He took this one of me and made me pretty (the best he could)
He said he didn’t like the picture I had on my profile. He said it was too washed out. I tried to explain to him that I did that for a reason. (if you haven’t noticed,

most pictures of me lack color)

I keep looking at this picture and I don’t think it looks like me. That girl in the picture is kind of pretty.

Okay, okay…don’t be thinking I’m fishing for compliments. I’m not. No really. ALL RIGHT, go ahead. No, shut up.

Let’s take a look at the REAL Kristine. Not this retouched, smiling with lipstick on, hair all done up girl.



This is me. This is what I wear when I am in all my glory. Men’s flannel PJ’s and mismatched socks.
I swear I am the reason they came up with the show, “What Not To Wear”



I wore SHORTS to work. And that hair…come on, I’m one spurt of hairspray away from Camaro bangs. STILL. How old am I?



It’s a wonder I can get ready in the morning! Look at this mess!! This is the top drawer in my bathroom. It’s TRASHED and it doesn’t matter how much I try to

clean it up, it keeps looking like this. My job requires to keep people on task and organized. I would SO be fired if they saw my house!



I have a degree in computer science & network security. Would you hire me? REALLY! Look at this!! This is my computer!!



Did I mention I have anxiety attacks…I was having one, right here in this picture. The bangs again. I think my anxiety attacks are directly proportional to my

bangs. BIG AND UGLY.

I’m having one of those days today if you couldn’t tell.
Good thing the day is almost over.

Honestly, I went looking for the pictures that would prove that the picture of the woman above is REALLY not the person I am, but I have managed to delete

almost EVERY SINGLE picture of myself in the past year. I look like hell warmed over.

But, on a good note, I’m working on getting better. In my head, on my body and how I feel about myself.

I do have great friends and family. My kids are healthy and I get to keep the house. It’s not so bad being me.

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24
Jan
Midnight Train to Georgia
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Thank you Lady bug! It’s like that song that everyone dedicates to the one they love, “Every Breath you take” can you say STALKER?

Which brings me to my latest rant. Perhaps I am getting cynical in my old age because I use to love this song until I REALLY listened to it.

L.A. proved too much for the man,
So he’s leavin’ the life he’s come to know,
He said he’s goin’ back to find
Ooh, what’s left of his world,
The world he left behind
Not so long ago.

(Chorus removed for end of post)

He kept dreamin’
That someday he’d be a star.
But he sure found out the hard way
That dreams don’t always come true.
So he pawned all his hopes and he even sold his old car
Bought a one way ticket
To the life he once knew,

He said he would
Be leavin
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he’s goin’ back
To a simpler place and time.
And I’ll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,I’d rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.

CAN YOU SAY, “STUPID WOMAN!”?
NOWHERE in this WHOLE song does he say he wants her to go with him.
He couldn’t make in LA, he is giving up on his dream, sold his car and bought a ONE way ticket back home (to probably move in with his mommy!)
So what she is ‘following’ is a man with NO car, NO hopes & NO job.
AND HE’S SNEAKING OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!
But she would rather live in his LOSER ass world than in her own. Grrr.

Why does this song piss me off so much? I use to LOVE this song.

okay, i’m done now.

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24
Jan
Internet Question:
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
What is the stupidest love song ever? I have mine, and you’re all going to probably be pissed about which one I picked…but I will explain my reasonings and

you will forever hate this song too.

So…what is your “Stupidest Love Song…EVER”???

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24
Jan
Soap Shavings in the mouth…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara

KnK2
Originally uploaded by randomandodd.
She was about 3 years old when Kara FREAKED out in a pizza place in Oregon. I want to apologize to any of the patrons of that restaurant on that day for

Kara’s behavior…and my own.

This isn’t the story I am going to tell, because that story is just mainly me thinking that I could take this child out to get pizza without her freaking out and

making me pull out my hair, make a million trips to the bathroom and ending up handing her to a relative that had already had kids and knew what to do,

because CLEARLY I had NO idea what to do.

Sometimes you just need to listen to people that have already had kids. Sometimes those people are not around so you have to figure out how to do it alone.

That is where THIS story is going…the time I thought I knew what the RIGHT thing to do was.


She was young, but old enough to know she better not talk back. She talked back. the whole “Time Out” thing was starting to get super popular and it seemed

to be working for my friends.

“Kara, go stand in the corner for a time out. You need to know you can’t talk to Mommy like that.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” and yes, it sounded JUST like that.
“KARA, corner. You are in time out. I want you to think about what you just said.”

Now, I can make this story really long and go into the next 25 minutes of how we argued about this whole “Time Out” thing and how stubborn she was

everytime I put her in the corner. I won’t do that to you. Just so you know it escalated to me AND her having a screaming match in the living room about her

going into a corner and her having the last say in the matter and saying some pretty bad things to me, her mother, the one who gave birth to her…and she’s

only like 3 at this point.


I had ENOUGH. I drug her into the bathroom, sat her on the toilet and put soap in her mouth.
I don’t know WHY I did this, it makes NO sense to me now, but at the time it did. She got even MORE pissed off and pulled the soap out of her mouth were

shavings caught her teeth and now she has soap in her mouth and she’s FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.
She is SCREAMING at me because she has soap in her mouth. I am SCREAMING right back at her telling her she deserved it.

She throws the soap at me. I am now FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. How the hell did I lose control this fast? I went from a simple time out to her screaming and

throwing shit at me. I grab her and put her in the tub and turn the cold shower on her.

I thought she was freaking the fuck out before….no, that was just a warm up for how pissed she is now. I am holding her in the cold water for about 15

seconds and it’s like holding a cat in there. “I’M GETTING WET!” she screams, “You done screaming at me?” I ask.
“YES!” I turn off the water. There is my little girl sitting there PISSED OFF and soaking wet. If looks could kill, I would have been torched, cut up and buried

in dog shit.

“You ready to be nice? You ready to listen?”

You can hear her teeth grinding. “Yes.”

“Go stand in the corner, and think about what just happened.”

“BUT I AM ALL WET!”

She stood there. Dripping wet for about 60 seconds before I heard the breaking of her will.

“I’M SORRY MOMMY! I WILL BE GOOD FOR NOW ON.”

I told her to go change and when she came out she was a different little girl. She NEVER questioned me after that. She crawled up into my lap and we talked

about what happened and how we both never wanted that to happen again.


I love her SO much, but I will tell ya, I never wanted another one after her because she made me crazy. Of course now she’s my bestest little friend and I would

be LOST without her.



Post inspired by Prissy Bitches

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23
Jan
Random
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
After a long email to my employees about how much work we had to do on Monday I lightened up a bit and said, “Don’t forget that this weekend only is the

Sportsman’s Expo at CalExpo, from Friday to Sunday you can experience fly fishing, elk calling, and the latest in all hunting and fishing apparel.”
If you knew my employees you would be laughing. These are not the type of people you would find at anything involving outdoors. I’m surprised they make it

from the car to the building without exploding.

I found out that my friend’s husband was going to the Sportsman’s expo and I told him to pick me up some pamphlets and if he found a cheap one, an elk

caller…because THAT would be a cool thing to own and bring to work to freak out my employees.

“Hey [name removed per request] , ask [name removed per request] if he got my Elk caller.”
*pause*
“Uh, [name removed per request] ? Kristine wants to know if you got her an Elk Collar?”
“No, I couldn’t find one.”
“he said no….why do you want an elk collar?”

I know at this point that she has a mental picture going in her head. Shea and Alyx trying to walk an elk down the street. An elk grazing in my backyard. An elk

curled up on the couch with Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog.

When I stopped laughing, I set her straight…because i’m nice like that.

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22
Jan
Beep!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random, Shaun
I can’t blog right now, i’m in trouble.

I KNEW I had a kiddy birthday today. I knew I had to make sure all five kids were ready. Did it stop me from going to bingo and then the casino and mocking

my adult responsibilities by drinking a venti coffee at 3 am while I drop quarters into a slot machine?

Did I get the evil eye when I waddled, shuffled and staggered into the living room at 9am to raise my eyebrow and shake my head slowly letting everyone know

in the living room of my displeasure that SOMEONE had the tv up too loud and I was NOT in the mood to hear, “Old Time Rock and Roll.” Yes. I got the evil

eye. The eye of frustration that I was letting my Will be known, and loud tv was NOT on the list for this Saturday morning.

I crawled back into bed bitching in my head about the loud tv and how DARE he give me the evil eye for being tired…I slept until 1 pm. Yes, you heard me.

ONE PM. And then to top off my total obnoxiousness I told my ex husband to bring me a coffee. I didn’t ask. I told him. AND HE DID IT. My Will is strong when

I am tired.

Now I am in trouble. I am in trouble for staying out late and sleeping all day. I am in trouble because all 5 kids are still running around NOT ready to go, and I

am on the computer BLOGGING because my sister commented that I must change my blog. I am in trouble because I dared to walk into the living room

wearing red sweats, white t-shirt and yellow sweatshirt and was offended when he called me, “Katsup, Mayo and Mustard.”
Did I mention I lack a sense of humor when I am tired?

I’ll post some pictures later and write something funny, witty and entertaining later….after the coffee kicks in and I can see the monitor.

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19
Jan
random and odd
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random


I’ve been blog hopping again.
I am finding a reoccurring theme.
Babies. Lots and lots and lots of blogging about new babies.
As you can see all my babies are past those stages…except Shea the six year old drama queen.

Kara was my first and Shea acts JUST like she did when Kara was six. When Kara was that young she was my only child and any ‘phase’ she went through I

was highly aware of it. Shea is slipping through the cracks when it comes to making sure that type of behavior is nipped in the bud. Tonight she got the blunt

end of the mommy stick. I’m pretty sure she is packing up her Polly pockets and putting on her ‘lucky’ coat and planning on running away to her favorite aunt

Kathy’s house.

Tonight got me to thinking about all the things I DON’T miss about the girls being little, starting from the beginning.

1. having sex with my ex husband.
2. peeing on that stick and getting that ‘Oh fuck, you’re pregnant AGAIN’ feeling in my stomach.
3. throwing up plums.
4. eating everything that can be opened in 3 seconds or faster.
5. those farts that burn the hair in your nose.
6. throwing up everything you ate that only took 15 seconds eat.
7. not being able to be comfortable. EVER.
8. wearing the same clothes every single day because nothing else fits.
9. the pictures that people take of you as you’re shoveling food in your mouth.
10. labor.
11. my boobs. HUGE and then FLABBY.
12. car seats. I don’t miss car seats AT ALL.
13. the screaming for no reason.
14. waking up to find a 2 year old in bed with you and her diaper leaked.
15. diapers.
16. strollers.
17. trying to understand Greek, because that is the language they decide to learn first.
18. Barney and Teletubbies.
19 trying to get shoes on those kids. “MY SOCKS ARE HURTING MY FEET!” (okay, they still do this)
20. accidentally washing a diaper or pull up.

Did I forget to mention having sex with my ex-husband? yeah, that’s right it made the top of the list.

I haven’t read a ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’ blog where I said, “Now that’s a new one to me.” I’ve been through it all.

Shit, I gotta go, Shea is calling a cab and asking for Auntie Kathy’s phone number.

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18
Jan
Such Randomness
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random, Shaun


And you’re asking yourself, “Who’s the lady with the parakeet and tv dinner?”

You ever have one of those Random and Odd moments where you see something and HAVE to have it because it’s just that weird? (This would explain every

boyfriend I have EVER had and most of my wardrobe)

Well, this old lady was one of those moments.

She’s also the reason Shaun and I got back together after the unfortunate “Valentine’s Day DareDevil Opening Night Fiasco”. I have forgotten to mention that

story. I tried blocking that memory, along with every movie that Ben Afleck has done since Bounce.

I’ll make it short. Shaun and I were dating. It was Valentine’s Day. I took him to see DareDevil. He broke up with me the next day.
I blame the 8 months were apart on Ben Aflecks HORRIBLE acting. It took EIGHT months for Shaun to finally come back around and be able to talk about that

movie without his eye starting to twitch. I had to relive the trauma after it was released on DVD. I’m not sure I have forgiven Ben for this yet. I have forgiven

Jennifer Garner though because she’s just smokin’ hot and adorable as hell.

Back to the lady and the bird.

I have special rights to be able to mention my family, my kids, and teenagers that tormented me when I was younger, but ex-boyfriends, bosses and co-

workers -I will leave out my blog. “Utah” is the boyfriend I dated after Shaun tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat the VERY day after VALENTINE’S

DAY.
I chose this name because this is where I told the girls he moved when I broke up with him. He moved to Utah. I had other boyfriends that after breaking up

with them and the girls asked where he went I said, “Texas.” or “Canada” and “Hawaii”, but the boyfriend I call Utah was sent there because it’s not a good

state for him to live in seeing that he was more interested in drinking, smoking, and partying than trying to make our relationship work.
And yes I am aware that my children are going to think that I run every man out of the state of California after dating them for a month. No comments from the

peanut gallery.

I got sidetracked there. The old lady and the bird. Well, Utah decided to be a big ol’ dumbass and get mad at me, where I pulled a total 1950′s move and threw

a drink in face and stormed out of the Tree. We broke up. Shit this story is going on too long.

LONG STORY SHORT: It was football season and I needed someone that shared my passion for football and Shaun and I started talking again after I nailed

myself in the head with a pick trying to make a drainage ditch in the backyard. I signed up for fantasy football, he signed up for 5 kids and one fucking crazy

woman. It all came together at the antique store when going through these old pictures he finds a polaroid of a old woman, a parakeet and tv dinner and

KNOWS that I will love it so much that he brings it over to me with more excitement than if he were bringing me a hundred dollar bill he found.

We stole the picture. I framed it and it is on our bookshelf in the living room.

She doesn’t have a name, a story…or a birdcage.

But she has a home & she shares ‘our’ story.

[sidenote #1 - CM is a banana nut bread tease]
[sidenote #2 - Shaun is thinking about getting a blog and naming it, "COUNTERBLOG" because he says that he needs it so people can get the real story and

stop sending him hate mail.]
[sidenote #3 - for all 6 of you that come and actually read this, you wouldn't actually want the REAL story of what happens in this house now would you? Who

wants to hear me bitch about anxiety attacks, dirty dishes, evil ex's, and teeth falling out of my children's head? Oh wait, I do blog about that.]

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02
Feb
Ahh Fuck it…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Two days in a row my mom puts a comment on my blog. How can I resist that woman? She is the Fonz.

Alright, alright…settle down in here.

One: I’m home sick today. Well, Kara is home sick…i’m just stuck here in my pink robe and cozy comfies drinking Starbucks coffee and catching up on my

blog hopping. It’s a dirty job, but I’m JUST the dirty person to do it.

Two: What is up with you people? NO COMMENTS ON SHAUN’S PAGE? not a single suggestion for him to go buy me something that starts with a R and ends

with a G? (size 6 or 7) you people…I swear. There is only 12 more days till Valentine’s Day and if I don’t shoot a fire rocket up his ass to get me something

NOW, I will get nothing.
I would like to remind him (because he reads this blog) that his son bought his girlfriend more jewelry in the 6 months they were together than I have gotten

in the almost 2 years we have been together. AND don’t forget that Valentine’s Day has a sore spot on my heart.

Three: the picture above is taken with a Canon Digital Rebel. That is Shaun flipping me off when he pulled up at my work and saw me holding that bad boy. If

Shaun were a violent man he might have gotten out of the car and beaten the hell out of the person that thought to bring me a camera of that magnitude to

play with.

Four: Sarcastic Journalist [www.shenuts.com] I adore you. You really have made a difference in my life in the past couple of days.

Five: I HAVE GMAIL INVITES! want one? email me and I’ll send you one.

and last…If you don’t know how to add links to your blogger account, just email me. I have made a ‘how to’ with easy instructions and pictures.

If I could buy you all a coke and keep you company…I would.

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01
Feb
Suggested Reading
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I love you all, you are ALL way too nice.
I will blog when my fodder is fixed ;)

So…maybe if you all suggest my mom, The Fonz, starts up a blog, she’ll get off her lazy ass and stop playing Bookworm on Yahoo and start writing.

This is the woman who I swear said these things:

“I love that new group, two boys and a man!” *boys to men
“I wonder if we will get after minner dents!?” *dinner mints
“Have you seen the movie with Whitney Houston, Still breathing?” *waiting to exhale
“You know what band i’m talking about right? The Farmer Boys.” *Hall and Oates (haulin’ oats is what she thought the name of the band was!)

She’s the funniest woman alive. Of course this is an example of what you will find if my mom started a blog….
my daughters, the bookends, they are the most beautiful two girls in the whole world.
Kris is the smartest and the most prettiest girl in the world. (she has to say this, i’m her baby)
Kathy is okay. She’s a bit of a brat and really a pain the ass most of the time and we just put up with her because she can make a bitchen cup of coffee.

No, she wouldn’t say that about Kathy…now known as, My Sister-mom’s second favorite daughter. She loves us just the same. RIGHHHHHTTTT?

Anyway, my sister-mom’s second favorite daughter has a blog. It’s much like mine…random.
I suggest you go there and read it and then comment because she’s an attention whore and needs more than most to get through the day. (You ready to kill

me yet Kath?)
No really…she works harder than anyone I know and still has time to treat her family like we are the best thing in the world.

Next you can go to Shaun’s blog. He makes up stories about the Shea. Okay, I lied, he doesn’t…it’s all true…she really is that dramatic.
And someone please give him some idea’s on what to get me for Valentine’s Day. Maybe a new digital camera or something that sparkles. (The person who

suggests he buys me glitter will be removed from my blog list and Kinja accont! —yes, that’s you Metro!)

Kevin…my brother in law…what a guy. He almost bit his tounge off just so he could have something to blog about.

Pissy britches…that name just says it all. Go see her and tell her to buy the new couches.

I love all my blog friends!

My sister-Mom’s second favorite daughter
dooce
Closet Metrosexual
Mrs.Prissy Britches
be the boy
tina’s tears
hells bells
sissychong
Clobber Blogger
fern canyon
airea
Girl A
GEORGE!
girl from ipanema
the fat housewife
she-nuts
KC
crazy us
Butterstar
Home Detention Lady

Go vist these people…and remember what Thumper’s dad alway said:
“If you can’t say nuthin’ nice…don’t say nuthin’ at all!”

If I missed anyone, please don’t get mad…i’m still healing.

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31
Jan
This Blog Interupted
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I’m taking a break from blogging for awhile.
I have hurt the feelings of someone I love very much and I have decided that if blogging anything that will hurt the feelings of anyone I care for then it’s time

for me to rethink how I phrase certain words and pick and choose certain shared events.

If there is something I wrote about you in this blog that at any time offended you, I am sorry.

*Michael, if I called you the garbage man instead of a sanitation worker. I am sorry.
**Mom, if I called you the Fonz when you really thought you should have been likened to Jennifer Aniston. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if my words have hurt anyone.

and that’s it for now.

*mom, you’re dreaming if you think I would ever liken you to Jennifer Aniston. And yes, my brother is a garbage man…a damn good one. He also sings Al

Green really horribly, but I still love him.
**mom, you ARE the Fonz. and no, my mom and brother were not offended. My brother can’t read and my mother is sleeping with George Clooney. Sorry Dad.

my sister has a dirty bathroom and I will soon have the pictures to prove it. all 6 of you that read my blog already know where to find the picture. just kidding.

Metro, email me and I will forward you the picture. You need to know my sister isn’t as perfect as you think she is. ;)

Bye.

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31
Jan
At My Desk
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I’m trying to find something to do to make me look busy. I can’t find anything so I made a list of what you would find on my desk…if you worked with me.

2 framed pictures, one of Shaun and the girls & the other is of Alyx in the leaves.
2 loose pictures, one of Kara & one of all the kids on the first day of school.
1 empty candy bowl.
1 empty Starbucks cup.
1 empty coffee cup with fishes on it.
1 full water bottle.
3 post it notes with email address on it.
1 fortune cookie insert that says, “You have the makings of a leader, not a follower.”
post it note with the password to our drives.
my cell phone
tape I used to hang the 2 loose pictures with
file organizer with random reports.
calendar I highlighted every other week because it looks pretty.
green highlighter, one blue pen.
and me.

What would I find at your desk?

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30
Jan
My Weekend in Pictures
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random


Hmmm, Reno or Sacramento?
Yeah, I had to stay in town this weekend…and what a weekend it was. I managed to do ALL this stuff in 3 days.



Friday Night
I had to learn this. I MUST learn how to use my camera before I can justify buying a new one.
I learned this. You will not see the proof in the following pictures, but I did learn this.
I’m going to try reading it again and this time NOT on pain meds.



Saturday Afternoon
Why does it seem there is a picture of me tieing shoes in every folder on my hard drive?
The girls went to a birthday party, and I managed to escape this one without skating.



I didn’t escape looking like a dork. I did however escape posting the picture where it looks like I lost my upper lip!
This is the typical expression when Shaun says something funny and it takes me 2 seconds to process it and decide if he’s being funny or sarcastic. This is

the, “Ohhhh, he’s being sarcastic-look”



Baya on skates. She’s too cute for her own good. Really, this kid will charm you out of your quarters, lipstick and first born.




Saturday Night

My holiday party. It was a ‘semi formal’ night. See the wine glass? yeah, I polished off a half a bottle of red before we finally made a break for the door.
Not before saying hello to the best office manager in the whole cellular industry.



She really is a truly amazing woman. If I have learned nothing from working for my company, I have learned that there are people out there that love and

respect with all of themselves and Donna is a damn fine example.

Sunday Afternoon



Bowling. How in the hell did I get myself into this one?
My children beat me at bowling. I did pull off an impressive 69 though ;)



She got a spare!!!!



and I got a hug!

Sunday Night

I’m going to bed…

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29
Jan
Do you see the connection?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography

This is a guy I work with.

This is taken with the Digital Rebel.

THE DIGITAL REBEL MAKES PEOPLE LOOK LIKE GEORGE CLOONEY!

Just another reason why I am saving up for that camera.

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28
Jan
SACRAMENTO KINGS!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
BIBBY TO WEBBER —->WEBBER FOR THREE!!

KINGS WIN, BABY! KINGS WIN!

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28
Jan
End of the Month Update…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
JULIA UPDATE: she’s doing better. Her mom said when she opened the page and saw all those comments and what you all said, she was truly touched.

JESSICA UPDATE: She looks pretty good. A little bruised, a little swollen and a bit broken (her ego) and even though she was telling the story to me and she

was being strong and willing to share all the details and say how she will NEVER take him back, she was still not ready to hear how much her story was

hurting us. It was okay to be angry at the dick head, it was okay to wish he would rot in jail, but it wasn’t okay to say, “I was so scared for you.” Her mother

started to cry, not sob…just tears rolling down her face as she stared at her baby girl and Jessica had to get up and walk away because the pain she caused

her mother was more painful than anything her exboyfriend could have ever done.

AL GREEN UPDATE: Damn, it’s time like these I wish GOD read my blog so he could damn the person who thinks Al is hell.
No really, If I had a list of the men that can get women to drop their panties, Al Green is on that list. Bret Favre is up there. Sean Connery. The guy in that one

movie that was so totally hot, but I can’t remember his name or the movie. I have a list somewhere, i’ll have to share it with you. Just know that AL GREEN IS

A PANTY DROPPER! listen to his words, he knowssssss what it takes.

COZY COMFIES UPDATE: [story removed per request]

DIGITAL REBEL UPDATE: I have to wait. Greg brought me the CD with the pictures I took at work. I’ll share them with you when I get back from my DES

meeting tonight.

Happy Fucking New Year Update: We’re doing good. Really. We are working out the problems and we are really trying.

it’s Friday night, WHY ARE YOU SITTING HERE READING THIS!? go out, enjoy a few minutes alone with you foot soaker, your dog, your new husband….or go

call your mom or good friend.

Hey Kath, wanna have some coffee and a smoke?

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28
Jan
I heart Al Green
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I watched an ‘okay’ movie the other day, “Little Black Book” and I realized I wanted some Carly Simon music.
I decided to make a cheesy-non-disco 70′s CD. It’s a doozy too.
And here is where I admit to the internet that I have another problem.
I can’t make a CD without Al Green on it…somewhere.
I think it’s a Seguin family trait, the love of Al Green. Al can get my brother, Jerry, to dance. Al can get my brother to sing. Al Green has been on every single

mother-daughter trip that I can remember.
Al Green can always get me to smile.

I heart Al Green.

Sidenote: Did any of your parents raise you to listen to Dr. Hook? Because I’ve been listening to this cheesy 70′s CD and NO ONE that has heard it knew he

was.

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27
Jan
Sheeeeeee’s Back!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: friends, Random


My friend, Jessica, is back. Not under the best circumstances though.

She called last night at 2am and since I was carefully tucked into bed with the cozy comfies, I didn’t even hear the phone.
I checked my messages today to hear a crying Jessie saying that her boyfriend tried to kill her. He strangled her, gave her a black eye and nearly broke her

fingers when she struggled to get away.

For those of you that have followed the story of Jessie, you’ll know she moved to Oregon to get away from him. He found her and she took him back. This is

surprise because she is so damn headstrong. When she sets her mind to something, she sticks to it. She packed up her things, quit her job and moved. Then

she took him back…SO unlike her.

I didn’t hear from her much while she was gone. Mostly a couple of calls, “I miss you, I love you.” and that was it. Then her number changed and I didn’t hear

from her…until last night.

I don’t know what to do in situations like this. I was raised by a very strong woman who, if I didn’t learn anything, taught me that men NEVER hit women. If I

am EVER in a situation where I think it might happen, I get the hell out, never turn back and then go tell my big brothers and they will kick the living shit out

of that jerk.

You don’t mess with a Seguin. Period. Try it and you walk away with a bloody stump where you’re head use to be.

I never understood how women could stay in a situation like that, and then make excuses. I don’t know what to say to her. I thought she was so strong by

moving away. I thought she was like me when it came to situations like this.

I’m not going to say anything. She’s probably already heard it a million times already from her family and other friends.

I do feel the need to kick her ass though. Slap her up side her head and say, “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING TAKING THAT DUMB FUCK BACK?”. I

won’t though. I’ll get there tonight and see her, hug her and probably cry like a baby because someone had the nerve to hurt her.

It’s going to come up sooner or later though. We will be talking about it, and i’m going to be clueless.

Anyone? been there done that? advice? What are the right things to say?

One last thing before I drag my ass out of these cozy comfies and head out to see her:
Hey mom, I love you. THANK YOU so much for raising me to know how a man should treat a woman. For teaching me that it’s NEVER right to put up with it.

Thank you for making the very strong woman that I am. Thank you for giving me a sister that has ALWAYS had my back and is stronger than all of us put

together. Thank you for giving me 3 brothers and teaching them how to treat a woman right and the strength to kick the living shit out of anyone who dare hurt

a woman.

Best of Everything,
Kristine

10
Feb
Before I go…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography

I leave today (Friday) to go to Redding to get this hair under control and get some serious mom/sister time in.

My camera is in route back to Kodak because of the orange battery hinge that keeps breaking.
I had the camera about 2 weeks before the orange hinge thing broke. I brought it back and they replaced the whole camera. I’ve had the camera for a little over

the month and the orange hinge broke again.
I’m holding up pretty good seeing that my Matty is in a box and leaving my possession. It’s our first time apart.

Admittingly, as I was filling out the paperwork to get Matty fixed, I was checking out the Digital Rebel. I have already named the Digital Rebel, a camera I don’t

even own YET. Her name will be Dotty. Shaun actually came up with the name. It’s a Pee Wee’s Big Adventure reference.

I went to the tax lady today. It wasn’t as painful as I thought it was going to be. If I actually get that refund (it will probably be sucked up from Dan’s penalties) I

think I am going to buy myself a box of juice and new bra.

Oh who am I kidding, I have never bought my own bra. My mom has bought all my bras. I am 32 and have never bought a bra in my life.

I might blog (under the influence) from my sister’s house this weekend. I might not.
Either way…

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND INTERNET!

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09
Feb
Barry is a cop
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Look at the delight on my brother’s face in this picture!
It’s wrong that he get so much pleasure by using his cop moves on his baby sister?

Now look at sweet innocent me with my arm all jacked up. I put up with this FOR YEARS. YEARS PEOPLE! YEARS.

Yes, you might have had a brother or maybe two that picked on you. I HAD THREE. I was abused.

Alright, alright. I guess the picture that mom DIDN’T take was of me taunting my brother into a fight.

I think I called him a sissy la-la or something not too flattering. I might have said something about him being short and a total wussy.
I think I might have called him a donut eating piggy-snort-snort. I don’t remember.

How often do you get to call a cop sissy la-la and NOT get thrown in the back of a patrol car?

I rest my case.

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09
Feb
Conversations with Kathy
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy, The Fonz

My mom recently got into a ‘brawl’ with the neighbor dog. This is my mom’s favorite story lately. She will tell you how her cold-snout-up-the-buttcrack dog

got into a fight AND SHE BROKE IT UP!

My sister called and asked me if I had heard the story.

“Yea, she told me all about it.”

“Did she tell you what kind of dog it was?”

I had to think about it, “Uh, no.”

Kathy, trying to hold back the laughter says, “It’s part cell phone.”

“Did you just say, part cell phone?”

“Yep, I asked mom what kind of dog it was and she said it was a Nokia.”

“Did she mean akita?”

“Yep.”

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08
Feb
She does Porn Hair
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy
Not that she doesn’t hear it all the time, but my sister is right.
My hair has roots. I even dyed it a darker color to avoid this problem.

My sister does my hair. She is, along with being mom’s second favorite daughter, the BESTEST hair dresser that ever lived. Step down Paul Mitchell, my

sister has a pair of sissors and some tin foil. I’m not kidding, it’s like having a professional basketball player for a brother…you have to brag. She is a

‘mortgage’ person now, but her heart belongs to the squirt bottle.
Alright, you forced me to say it; She’s one of THOSE hairdressers. She’s the one person that can get your hair to do EXACTLY what you want it to do. She’s

the one you will follow to the end of the earth just to get your hair done in a cold-ass garage in the back alley. Kathy is my hair dressing crack dealer.

I’ve given into the pressure. I’m going up this weekend to get my fix.

Did I mention the tag-team guilt trips my mom and sister can do when they want me to come visit?
You would think they were old jewish ladies the way the get going.

So, back to my hair. It’s bad. I look like Elaine Boosler right now. My hair is all frizzy, dead and different colors of wrong.
I’m not sure what to do with it. I have a collection of pictures of ‘phases’ of my hair that I was going to share with you, but I am too embarrassed at this point

because every picture I found…I have porn hair.
Yes. Porn hair. BIG, FLUFFY & FEATHERY.

Don’t believe me?



Okay people got any suggestions on what this former porn star can do to her hair?

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07
Feb
You could learn a lot from a dummy
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: ex, Random
I am a crash test dummy.

I know you wouldn’t have guessed it from all the pictures you have seen, but yes…I am a crash test dummy. You could learn a lot from me.

I read your blogs. During the process of reading your blogs I have found I yell one phrase out over and over again and I swear If I yell out, “I’ve been there!”

one more time and someone doesn’t throw me a dime, I am going to get pissed.

I talk about a lot of things here, but the one thing I don’t talk about is my marriage to Dan, or the ickiness that happened after we, or I, ended it. That would be

just opening up at a whole other level. I have wrote about it. I had to write about it or I would have exploded. I said once: “It seems like when you’re trying to

find that person that you know you can be, you stumble across the person that is the complete opposite that has been an ugly part of your life that you would

like to forget.”

That person, the ugly one…she hit a lot of walls. No, *I* hit a lot of walls. I totally own up to that time in my life. I like to say, “I was a different person then.”

but if I am being honest I am still that person, I’m just a lot smarter now, or at least I think I am.
No, i’m not any smarter, I just hit that wall and lived to tell the story. I can only hope I won’t ever be that lost within myself and scared to death that I make

choices that aren’t exactly the smartest ones.

My daughter asked me, “Do you have any regrets?”
Talk about a loaded question.
I have a million, but when you have kids you have to ask yourself, ‘would I change anything if it means I wouldn’t have my kids?‘
I look back sometimes and I think about that time. I hate to though, it’s like remembering a horrible car accident or the death of someone very close to you.

The pain hurts so much your whole body aches.
I remember a night at my sister’s house when I was in the thick of the ache and I was outside talking to her and she had to go inside to get a soda. I couldn’t

stand to be alone for a second. I couldn’t be in my own skin. I panicked thinking I would never feel normal again. I would never be able to sit alone with

myself without wanting to rip my hair out to get the things in my head to stop haunting me.
The ghosts of guilt.

This side of me is still there. I think it sticks around to remind me to be grateful that I survived it or to stand as a reminder that I shouldn’t be so cocky to

think that something like that would never happen to me. That I should be humble and understanding. I am not perfect and I never will be.

Let it be noted; I have things to say about the man that I spent many years with, sometimes they are not good things, but for the most part he was and remains

a very big part of my life. The ghosts that I live with are subsided because of the friendship that Dan and I have. We make choices that we might not have

made in our everyday life because of this friendship we keep for the girls sake. It’s a give and take. Sometimes I feel like I give more than I take, but i’m sure if

he had a blog he would say the same. (Of course he would have to figure out how to string a sentence together without my help to do that – ZING! Oh shut up,

if you knew him, he would laugh and come back with something even worse to zing me with!)

So anyway…

When I say I am a crash test dummy, I mean it.

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06
Feb
Random
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy, Random

You don’t realize how much you miss something until it’s not there. -some sappy 80′s song

My sister-mom’s second favorite daughter- God bless her soul, is probably afraid to answer the phone as of late.

“Hi. It’s me again.”
“Hey, you going outside for a smoke?” She asks.
“Yep.” I sigh as I try to come up with something new to talk about for the 4 minutes it takes for me to smoke a Marlboro Light.
“Sooooooo….” She’s awesome at coming up with something we haven’t talked about in the 5 conversations we have already have had today. It always starts

with, Soooooooooo.
“Where’s mom?” I ask because even though she is mom’s second favorite, she always knows where she is.
“Home. Did you try to call her?”
“Yeah, right before I called you.” I always call mom first, I’m starting to feel like a complete idiot having to call my sister every time I go out to smoke.

I need to either quit smoking or find another poor soul to drag out to the front porch with me.

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06
Feb
Our Day at the Zoo…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random

How can I resist using this picture as the one to draw you in?

It was free museum day in Sacramento and we decided to go to the zoo.

I wish I had some funny stories to tell you about how Kara was attacked by the flamingos or Shea decided that she was a monkey and tried to get in the cage.

Nothing like that happened.

So what happened? Shaun happened. Give the man a camera and he’s taking pictures of MOLES! not the animal kind. The kind on the back of the guy’s neck.

I’ll let him blog about that because honestly, it was gross and I don’t like gross.

I did enjoy the zoo. Kara and I walked over to the flamingos and we both started singing the theme song to “Three’s Company”.



There is no question on who this child belongs to.

We went to Fairytale land where the kids went down different sorts of slides and I got to see a rooster getting friendly with a chicken. (No pictures—Sorry)

The kids were so good ALL day. I was pretty good too. I even smiled for a picture while I was on the crooked mile!



I was having a blast!

Then we went to Funderland. This is where the day takes a turn.

We are planning a trip to Disneyland in March. There is a SLIGHT problem in this whole trip. Shea HATES anything that moves faster than 2 mph. She will ride

the biggest horse or hold the biggest, ugliest snake. She will NOT, NO WAY JOSE, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS be a part of a swing. She FREAKS THE FUCK

out whenever we go to the park and we even SUGGEST that she gets on a swing.
Because she hates the swing so much, she won’t go on ANY rides. Not the merry-go-round and NEVER the ferris wheel. Don’t even think about the tilt-a-whirl

or even those little baby motorcycle rides that simply go around in a circle. Nothing.
Do you see the problem with the trip to Disneyland?

So here is how it started. Shaun has a way with talking to the kids. He can get them to clean when I couldn’t even get them to put a fork in the sink.







I can not believe it. I really CAN NOT believe it….



SHE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go here to see the whole set of pictures from our day, which I am calling – The many faces of Shea – Our trip to the zoo, fairytale land, the horses &

funderland.

or for the computer-challenged: CLICK HERE

And for Alyx’s side: HER BLOG

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05
Feb
Circa 1978
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy, Random
My sister posted a picture of me when I use to be the cutest thing in the whole world.

Go check it out: Kathy- mom’s second favorite daughter -blog

P.S. Hey Kath, you’re sweet 11 year old neice wants to know if we ever fought. Ha ha ha ha!
Who wants to break the news to her that we NEVER fought. That we agreed on EVERYTHING and just couldn’t wait to play with each other every single day!?

Going to the zoo, i’ll blog more later…with pictures.

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03
Feb
Extra shot, NOT extra HOT
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Every morning I get my Sugar Free Vanilla Latte with an extra shot. Today she heard, “extra hot”.

I put it in the cup holder in the car and off we went. I tried to pick it up and even touching the side where the sippy sleave wasn’t was painful.

Me, being my mother’s daughter, grabbed the cup BY THE LID so I could pull it up a little to be able to grab the sippy sleeve.

The lid popped off. Hot, extra hot coffee, ALL over my hands. I cried all the way home. I was brave and went to work.

It smells like Juan Valdez farted in my car.

Starbucks needs adult sippy cups with screw on lids for an owie proof container.

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02
Feb
Wednesday? What happened to Tuesday?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, The Fonz

Most of the blogs I read belong to parents of little, little kids. I have the ages above toddler all the way to teenager. I don’t get those cute moments where I can

blog, “She fell asleep on me and we cuddled all during her second nap of the day.”
I get to blog about; “They lost the damn cell phone!”

Today, I get to say something I love to say: My 11 year old daughter loves me.
She cleaned my bathroom! Yes! that nasty bathroom drawer with the grossest of all things—is CLEAN! She organized it! WITHOUT BEING ASKED TO!
She just wanted to surprise me!! MY DAUGHTER LOVES ME!
I took a picture of it. I have to crop out some stuff and I am going to do a really cool; “Before and After” thing with it and blog about how much I love that little

girl.

My mom is THIS close to getting a blog. I can feel it. Well, actually she told me she has reached the highest level of Bookworm in Yahoo Games that she can

get. I think her exact words were, “I have reached super dooper dooperly doop highest level of all and ever.”
She has nothing but time anyway…she might as well blog along with us.
She said, “Ohh I just love your bloggers (that’s you guys) they are just so funny. That Metro Closet guy! he has me and Kathy laughing so hard we have to

take turns reading his blog because we start laughing so hard we can’t even finish!”

Yeah, but does he talk to his britches? (i’m sure he does—all the more reason I love him)

And who was the person who told me about stat tracker? I love you! I have been checking my stat counter off and on all day. How do people only spend O

seconds here? is that humanly possible? It takes at least 3 seconds to figure out i’m not that funny and move on to the next blog about politics or the most

boring subject in the world, real estate.

I get a lot of people on the other coast. Bunch of you from Texas and so many of you cruise on over from Prissy Britches or Dooce. I had someone in

Anderson, Ca. stick around for 4 seconds. That’s about the attention span of someone from Anderson anyway, so I should be happy.

If you don’t have stat counter for your blog, you should go get it. It’s interesting to see where people come from and how long they stay…or how often they

come back.
To the person who told me about it, THANK YOU.

Sissychong—sorry for the quick ending to the AIM conversation today, I couldn’t find my camera battery and I think I hyperventilated and passed out in the

bathroom because of it.

Tina—hope you didn’t like your computer too much, it’s toast…..JUST KIDDING (God I love being a computer tech) I’ll have it running by Friday…you can

come up and get it and we can sneak out for coffee and a smoke.

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18
Feb
My Mom is reading your blog…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: The Fonz

Since I’ve been sick this WHOLE stupid week, I’ve found out that I am letting my mom down as far as my blogging goes.
Everyone knows, you don’t let down The Fonz.

She called me today, somewhere in the middle of Tylenol Flu, The History Channel and chocolate ice cream. It’s been a rough week for me and all I can really

focus on is this pain in my face. I think I have got to talk to my kids for all of 5 minutes in the past week because Nurse Hitler won’t let me out of the bedroom.

I’m useless and my mom called to tell me to get better because she misses me. What she’s really is saying is, “Hurry up and come up with something good

to talk about on your blog.”

The thing I find funny is that she talks about you guys, my blog friends, like you’re part of our family. She, at one point last week, was telling me a story about

one of my ex-boyfriends. I had NO idea who she was talking about until she said, “Oh wait, that’s your friend, Dave…the Closet Metro guy.”

The best part of it is that YOUR blogs are now actual PLACES.
“Did you hear that Stephanie is getting a new couch? I heard about it at Sissychongs”

Dooce is just “Heather’s blog”. She doesn’t quite grasp the concept of how big ‘Heather’s blog’ is. She just goes and reads and thinks she’s just one of my

friends.
Hey mom, I promise if Heather and I hang out someday we will stay REALLY far away from any BBQ sauces M’kay?
(and who is it that says, “M’Kay” because I swear that cracks me up every time I hear it.)

I’ve been getting up and around for a few minutes at a time. Mostly going and checking everyone’s pages and seeing what fun the healthy people are having.

And now, I need to go back to bed because Nurse Hitler is going to be home and if I’m not in bed cuddled up with my roll of toilet paper, Vicks vaporrub,

remote control & Telephone (AND NO ONE IS EVEN CALLING ME!) he’s going to be really pissy.

There mom, I blogged. Am I your favorite again?

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18
Feb
I found a solution….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
It feels like someone hit me in the nose. REALLY HARD.
and I’m sneezing.
and I’m coughing.

The pressure in my face is so bad that my teeth hurt.

I found a solution.

If I stop breathing, the problem might go away.

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17
Feb
It tastes like lemon-flavored shit, but try Theraflu.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Nyquil-the night-time, sniffling, sneezing, stuffy-head, fever, how did I end up on the kitchen floor medicine is my drug of choice for this hour.

Last hour was Tylenol Flu. It didn’t work.

In fact while taking my cup o’ nasty-ass tasting Nyquil I went into a sneezing fit.

So when you get home tonight and you see neon-green tissue all over the place, it’s because IT CAME OUT MY NOSE!

Yes, you heard me right. I drank Nyquil, I sneezed, it came OUT MY NOSE.

I thought the pain was bad before, but this brings it to a whole new playing field.

I want my mommy.

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17
Feb
God, just take me NOW!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: ex, Random


Welcome to Day Four of SICK.

Not the sissy ‘cough,cough’ ‘sneeze’ sick. I’m talking, “GOD, I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE SNOT LEFT IN MY BODY! EITHER TAKE ME NOW OR MAKE ONE

OF THESE 5 DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEDICINES WORK!”

I have taken every color pill or liquid possible in the last 4 days and NOTHING seems to work. I will be happy if I can live the rest of my life without hearing the

sound of myself SNIFFLING!

By the way…all those boxes. EMPTY.

This might be the last day I am alive and I am not going out without getting some shit off my really congested chest.

This is a disclaimer: If you know me, know the person I once was married to, have relations with that person or even just like him a little bit…STOP READING

NOW. I’m about ready to say some not so nice things about him and I have to because he is a fucking dumb ass, I’m sick and like I said, this cold might kill

me by noon today.

He’s a fucking dumb ass.
I can’t go into the depths of his random acts of stupidity because I really don’t think Blogger has enough space on the server for all that information.

I leave for work every morning before the girls are even out of bed. DA (dumb ass) drives them to school. This means that my daughters have to start calling

him at 5 am so he is up and moving and can get them to school at 7:40 am (school starts at 7:50 am SHARP). On a perfect day, it’s 5 minutes from the time

Tyler leaves for High School and when DA shows up. The thing is…i’ve been home all this week (albeit a drugged up, snotty & crabby version of my normal

self) and he doesn’t leave his house until 7:38 am. It takes a good ten minutes to drive from his house to mine. It takes another 7 minutes to get from my

house to the part of the school they get dropped off at. THERE IS NO WAY MY KIDS MAKE IT TO SCHOOL ON TIME WITH HIM AS THE OTHER PARENT!
I called him this morning in between coughing and sneezing attacks to see when he left. It was 7:40 am. I drove them to school.
I’m tired. I’m tired of him being the other parent of my children. I’m tired of getting them back on Monday morning after their weekend with him and having to

reverse every single thing. I’m tired of hearing HIS views on life, love and religion come out of THEIR mouth. I’m tired of him teaching them through his

actions that it’s okay to be late, to fib a little & make excuses.

The final straw this morning is when he is sitting on my couch and I tell the girls to take their bowls to the sink and rinse them out, and not to pour the cereal

in the right hand side of the sink (the left side is the garbage disposal side).
He goes into this theatrical monologue about how I had finally learned that lesson. I stared at him for the longest time trying to figure out what the fuck he’s

talking about. He looks at me so seriously and then looks at the girls and says, “I tried to teach your mommy that for years!”

What?

Don’t get me wrong, I have faults, I know I have faults. BUT WHO THE HELL IS HE TO SAY THAT TO MY KIDS?
This is the man who’s apartment is so crammed pack full of shit that you can’t find anything. There is barely ANY standing room in that place. AND DISHES!

No he doesn’t have dishes because he DOESN’T HAVE FOOD IN HIS HOUSE! He feeds them McDonalds and Wendy’s chicken McNuggets for dinner EVERY

night!

I keep saying it, I keep saying, “I can’t do this with him being the other parent.” but I do. I do. I throw up my hands in frustration because everything I try to

teach them just goes RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW everytime he spends 5 minutes with them. AND HE’S MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON TO MY GIRLS.

Breath, breath, breath. I know i’m not a bad parent. I know that’s all that matters. I know my girls love me and when they are older they will see all this in

clarity. But RIGHT NOW…I am heated!

He was telling Shea a story about her super-gluing me to my chair AS IF HE WAS THERE. HE WAS NOT THERE! That was me and the girls and that is MY time

with them. That was my time when I was learning what it was like to be a single parent. That is mine. I own that memory. He was saying, “You thought mommy

needed to stay in her chair so you could crawl out of your play pen so you super glued her to the chair!!”
That is NOT what happened. It makes me so angry that he’s taking MY memories and making them his own…or even worse, OURS. Like he was there. NO, he

wasn’t there, that was MY apartment, MY chair, MY ASS SUPER GLUED TO MY CHAIR.

It’s been years since I walked out that marriage. I had lame ass reasons and excuses at the time for wanting out, but the one that has always stuck with me was

this:
“I do all this work to make sure the girls are raised right and he comes in and screws it all up EVERY DAY. It doesn’t matter what I teach them, he counters it.

When I finally get the nerve to leave, i’m going to raise my girls the way they should be raised and I won’t have to keep reteaching them every single day.”
How fucking stupid of me to think that I could actually do that and have him NOT mess everything up on a daily basis?

Thank you Shaun. Thank you for being a part of my crazy, messed up life. Thank you for being a constant in the girls life. Thank you for knowing it’s okay to

be Simon Cowell at bed time. Thank you for being the bad guy. Thank you for always backing me up when I lay down the law. Thank you for being the goofy

one when I get to serious. Without you, I don’t think I could make it through days like this.

I can’t think of anyone else I would want to help me raise my girls.

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16
Feb
Blogger Links
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Many of you already know how to add your favorite links to the side bar using blogger. Many of you do not. Don’t be ashamed! Take Kristine’s SUPER easy

link adding class and YOU TOO could be adding your favorite links to your blogger page!!

Just be sure that i’m one of the links :) and share the love of adding links to non-link havers by sending them to this short one page class.

HOW TO ADD LINKS TO BLOGGER

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16
Feb
self-portrait wednesday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

according to mihow.com or SelfPortraitDay.com it’s self portrait day!

This is taken last weekend while my hair was getting done. I like to call this one “Hershey Head”

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15
Feb
*cough*
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, Random


It’s just not normal to fall asleep at 7:00 pm and not wake up until the next morning. I’m not the type of person that can do that. I think it stems from my

curiosity of what is going on while I am sleeping. There has to be something fun happening while I am dead asleep.

I fell asleep at 7:00 pm last night. You will not believe what happened while I was sleeping. THE WORLD, IT KEPT REVOLVING! I know, it’s hard to believe, but

it did. The fact that blogs were updated while I was sound asleep is my ONLY proof of this. (Well, everyone’s blog except my sisters and her husbands)

What else happened while I slept? A pair of beautiful earrings went unnoticed under my pillow. Thank you honey, they’re really are beautiful.

I’m sick. AGAIN. How many times in a 12 month period can I get sick? I just reread my blog a week or so ago and I’m sick a hell of a whole lot. This time it’s

the cough that is deep in my chest. Right now, my mom -The Fonz, is freaking out because she is thinking that she gave me this hacking cough and all

around general ickyness. Don’t worry mom, I probably got it from that evil woman at work that hung out at my desk for like 45 minutes coughing and hacking

the whole time.

I was forced to stay home. Shaun stayed home with me and put up with my whining. When did I get so good at being a wussy that can whine and complain

better than any sick man I’ve ever had to nurse back to health?

OH, OH, OH…I’m sick and ANNOYED. You all know about my camera, Matty, right? Well..Matty broke and I had to send him to Kodak to get him fixed. I told

the guy on the phone that I am sick of having to send the camera back (it has broken twice in 3 months) to get it fixed and I asked them what they would do to

fix the problem so I wouldn’t have to keep sending it back.
He said, “Well, that orange plastic part, we will try to figure out how to make it a stronger part and then send it back.”

Wouldn’t you think that it would take a little bit of time to figure it out? I mean, open up the bottom of the camera…stand around and scratch some places…

look for a part that looks exactly like the one that broke…not find one…look some more…

I don’t know, it just seems like it would take some investigating. I got the email from them on Monday saying they got the camera. I got an email TODAY (as in

ONE DAY LATER) saying they fixed it and they will be sending it back.
No way. Normally I would be excited about this, but there is NO WAY that the rocket scientists at Kodak found a part that was exactly like the one that broke

(BUT STRONGER) and replaced that puppy, shipped it back AND sent me a email IN ONE DAY!

Or maybe they looked at Matty and said, “Yep, it’s broke, ship’er a new one.”

I DON’T WANT A NEW ONE! I WANT MATTY BACK, BUT WITH TERMINATOR PARTS!

I’ll have it back in three days. I’ll let you know what they did. I’ve got to go back to bed. The medicine is making me all woozy and irrational.

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14
Feb
What would be the tip for this?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random

It was lunch/dinner for us tonight.
We went to Wonderful, home of the best won-ton soup and foiled wrapped kitten!

It has been a year since we ate there and nothing changes, it’s still my favorite place to eat.

I am a rat. I am prone to spend freely.



Matty (the camera that is at Kodak Camp) is still gone. I had to pull out the old camera.
and Damn, it SUCKS. It was kind of fun trying to figure out which button did what.



Sometimes they are cool. Sometimes they are just fuzzy and wrong.




and sometimes we get creative.



Hope everyone had a good “Single’s Awareness Day” ( I swear that was the funniest thing I have read in awhile!!

Kristine :)

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14
Feb
Friday the 13th – Valentine’s Day…what’s the difference?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I see where Shaun was going with trying to write something and nothing coming out.

I have written my Valentine’s Day blog about four times now. Somewhere in the 3rd one I professed my love for pink shoes, kinky hearts, floppy boobs and

evil in-laws.

It took reading This Fish to finally be able to own up to the fact that i’m one of those people that are lost between being the very smart and very sappy.
What happened to me? I use to be one of the, “You’ve got to be kidding about this whole Valentine’s thing! You’ve got to see that it’s just a day that makes a

lot of companies VERY rich.”

I remember why I was like that. I wasn’t one of those people that got things for Valentine’s day. I was on the united front because I forced to be there. It’s

better to not expect anything because just in case you REALLY didn’t get anything, it didn’t hurt as bad.
Yeah, well that really is stupid because you think all day long, ‘what if I do get something this year? Should I act excited or will that make him feel……” and

that’s what I would do on VD in the years when I was married to the Grinch of Valentine’s Day.
I didn’t get anything. I KNEW I WOULDN’T get anything, but all day, in the little romantic part of my girly brain, I would imagine this year being different than

all the years in the past.

I guess you could say I have a really shitty background when it comes to Valentine’s Day and I really should just chalk it up to being another day. I do…for

the most part. I know it’s just another day. Sitting right there in the middle, right hand side of the month. It has a four in it and EVERYONE that knows me,

knows I HATE the number four.

Last year was nice. It was better than the year before. It was better than the last 10 years before that.

This post was going somewhere, but I got a phone call from my dad and then Dan came by to give me back my children. I forgot where I was going with it.

Ah, the reality that this day is just like any other. The last 25 minutes is a reminder of that.

I got up, I got my coffee, I read my blogs. Dan brought me coffee, english muffin and my daughters (he’s my ex-husband, the grinch of Valentine’s day, the

fact that I got ANYTHING is a fucking miracle) my girls interrupted me while on the phone, asked if I could bring them to the store, i’m wearing my pink robe

and mismatched socks.

This day is just like every other day. (and I will be chanting that ALL DAY LONG and trying to ignore that girly part of my brain where I actually think that it

might be different)


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13
Feb
For you to understand…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy, The Fonz
There is no way to express to you how bad my hair looked before my sister did it Saturday morning.

I found a picture of me that I took when a bunch of friends and I went out to dinner.
I cropped the picture. I removed the red eye. I tried to remove most of the picture to avoid a full shot of myself. (I looked like a hockey player in full uniform, I

swear I looked THAT big!)
I deleted the picture.

I just want you to know that I looked like Roseanne Barr on a bad hair day.

And the new me:



I keep catching reflections of myself and I say, “Ooh, I’m a blonde again!”
I like it, and I am happier.

My weekend with my mom and sister was great! I laughed harder than I have laughed in ages.
I wish for everyone that reads my blog that you have someone like these two women. This would be the greatest gift you could have.
I would be lost…LOST without them.



We went to lunch and the hostess that sat us down said, “Are you all related? You look so familiar!” I think she was trying to say that we all looked similar. We

do…and I am blessed to be swimming in the same gene pool.



Wouldn’t you love to be related to a woman that can laugh so hard she cried? She had me laughing that hard too. I had tears running down my face because

making her laugh is the greatest thing anyone could experience. Her laugher is real, and I can’t remember a time I have heard her ‘fake laugh’.

Good Weekend Pinpointed:
Mom & Sister time
Fabulous new hair-do
Awesome dinner from Outbacks Steak house
Laughter until you cry
I finally got rid of the underwear!
Oh I haven’t told you the story of the ugly black underwear have I?

28
Feb
Name Changes….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random
I was reading Ladybug’s blog today and she has decided, for protection purposes, to use alias on her blog. I love this idea, of course I am FAR too lazy to go

and change all the names. I have a few names; my mom is ‘The Fonz’ and my sister is ‘mom’s second favorite’. I don’t do this to protect them because in all

honesty, they could kick your ass if confronted. I do this because my mom likes to be reminded that she is the coolest person that ever was and my sister

needs to be put in her place when it comes to the family pecking order. Just because she’s older and takes care of MY mom, doesn’t mean she’s the favorite.

I’m the baby and the baby is the favorite. end of story.

BUTT (that is my contribution for Butts for Butterflies over at Dooce) BUTT, if I did have alias on my site, this is what they would be:

Tyler: Da Boy. He has been ‘the boy’ since the day I met him. I would call him “MY boy” but sometimes he is Shaun’s boy. Those times when he slacks off,

plays video games all day, doesn’t clean the living room, eats at my computer, spends a solid hour in the bathroom reading video game magazines or

whatever girl cosmo is in there. I know he’s reading because he will come out and say, “Did you know that if you don’t replace your mascara you could get

pink eye?”
I don’t talk much about Da Boy because he’s just such a good kid that I don’t have to bitch about him much.

Marina: MO. She hates that name. I would call her Mo-Mo just to piss her off more. I’m such a mean ass sometimes. MoFina.

Kara: Drag Queen. Yes, she’s a girl…but if girls could be drag queens, Kara would be one. She sings ALL THE TIME. She’s dramatic as all hell, and NEVER

SHUTS UP. I swear, sings ALL the time. When she’s talking to you, one of her sentences will be done in “Chicago” style song and dance.

Alyx: Lady Chatalot. She’s the shy one in the group, but once you get her going she won’t shut up if you paid her too. Shaun likes to tell her she’s over her

‘talking minutes’.

Shea: Hobo. This girl is GONE. She’s at the neighbors more often than she is at home. She LIVES in her ‘lucky brown jacket’. She wears it ALL the time and

carries her purse no matter where she is or what she’s doing. She looks like she’s ready to go somewhere ALL the time.
I’m afraid when the neighbors move that they are going to forget that Shea isn’t really their daughter and try to take her with them.

Shaun: he who eats in my cars. I can actually think of a lot more, but this one is the one that comes to mind. He was “Turkey Hormone” because when we first

met, everytime we would hang out I would fall asleep. I could call him “Shut Up Shaun!” but that sort of defetes the purpose of having an alias.

Me: Well, i’m just Random and Odd. I use to go by Keeton (my radio name). I am just Kristine. No trying to hide the fact anymore.

If you could give yourself an alias (I’m sure some of you already have one) what would it be?

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27
Feb
I left the house!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

.
I went out this weekend. I know, pick your jaw up off the damn floor.
I admit it, I had fun. I think 50% was the company (hi tina!) and the other 50% was the people I got to watch and take video and pictures of when they didn’t

think I was. I’m a mean son of a bitch because this morning I was cracking up as I downloaded these pictures.

Okay, let’s just get this out there: The women in Sacramento, California at a certain bar located outside CAN. NOT.DANCE.AT.ALL. Period.

Women were dry humping everything in site: air, friends, OUTSIDE HEATERS! these women were all about the grinding. They loves them some grindage. It

was funny and wrong all the same time.

Don’t get me started on the “What Not To Wear” episode that could explode in that place.
WOMEN! STOP WEARING JEANS WITH BLEACHED OUT ASSES! ack!

MEN! STOP USING DEAD WIVES AS A WAY TO GET US TO SLEEP WITH YOU! ack!

IF YOU ARE SIXTY YEARS OLD, GO HOME! YOU OLD PERVERTED MAN! ack!

and don’t get pissed at me because I’m taking pictures of your friend who is flipping up your skirt so everyone can see your coochie. She was wrong with

those pony tales. WRONG I SAY!

Oh and dude that was WAY too stoned to be out and about: If you’re butt is grabbing ALL of your pants and your asshole is eating them, PUT ON A PAIR OF

UNDERWEAR…NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU DIGGING IN YOUR BUTT TO PULL THEM OUT!

I could go and go and go ON AND ON AND ON about the people that were out that made my night so much fun, but Shaun wants the computer.

Hope you all had a great weekend!!

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26
Feb
“Ugly…Double Ugly”
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random


Getting to know me (Part One):

“What is your biggest fear?”

Being a parent, my biggest fear is losing my children.
That one is a given. That one is probably the reason my hair is falling out and I am a giant stress ball all the time.

My second is losing my parents. It’s weird, when I write that, I lump my sister in with my mom and dad. I have three other siblings that I love very much and

would be hurt beyond words if anything ever happened to them, but I would be LOST if something happened to Kathy. She’s my hero, my role model, my best

friend…and I am getting ALL worked up thinking about losing her and that isn’t what this post is about.

Hold on, let me get these stupid tears out of my eyes so I can write about the greatest grandpa that ever walked the planet.

Grandpa wasn’t ‘paw-paw’ or ‘G-pa’ or ‘PoPo’ or ‘pop’. He was ‘grandpa’. He was a no-frills, no shit type of guy. He was my favorite guy growing up.
He was, of course the biggest man I had ever seen. I think he was a normal sized man, but to me…bigger than life.

It’s super hard to write about him because I get all choked up. I miss him. I wish he could have met my girls.
He would have loved them so much!
He would have gotten a kick out of each one of them because each one of them has such a huge part of my personality.

He would have loved Kara because they would have sat there and talked and played games like we use to do. He would tease her about something, and she

would tease him right back.

He would have pampered Alyx because he was good at that. He was good at making you feel like you were so special and his very favorite grandchild.

Grandpa’s house was always a welcomed trip, and Alyx would have wanted to live there.

He would have gotten a kick out of Shea. He would be out in the boat fishing with her and showing her how to put a worm on her hook and LAUGHING at her

many facial expressions.

I was lucky to have my grandpa for as long as I did. I got to do those things with him.

What makes me sad is that my girls ‘Grandpa’ is still alive. He could be asking if we could come up and stay with him for weekend so he can sit and talk to

them, play games, pamper, go fishing…
He loves them SO very much and sends them anything they need.
I just wish he would make more of a fuss about wanting to see his ‘babies’.
When my mom is having her ‘grandbaby’ withdrawals she starts bitchen about not seeing them and either comes and sees them or makes me bring them up

there.

I want them to have memories of both my mom and dad. I want my girls to be able to sit down at their blog when they are 32 years old, have kids and be will

able to remember stories of their grandparents like I have my grandpa.

My sister will have to tell you about Grandma Helen because I was 9 months old when she died…Kathy is Grandma Helen’s FAVORITE granddaughter. I can’t

even try for that title.

Grandpa: “Ugly, go get the dominos.”
Me: “I’m just going to beat you again —Double Ugly.”

And then he would laugh.

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24
Feb
Hidden Photos
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy, The Fonz
My sister- mom’s second favorite daughter, mentioned the other day the amount of pictures that my mother-The Fonz, has of us in various states of

drunkenness.

I thought, ‘how bad could the pictures be?’ and then she reminded me of a certain trip to Reno where my sister-mom’s second favorite daughter, but in this

post only we will call her, THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL was kind enough to get me something to wash my pain medication down with; coke…with Jack Daniels.

It was almost one of the best trips we ever had, except I don’t remember much of it. The only thing that I have to jog my memory is those pictures. I found

THOSE pictures tonight.
Yeah, mom has blackmail pictures and I decided after viewing these pictures: MY MOM WILL NEVER HAVE A BLOG.
We need to shut down the “The Fonz Blog” Campaign right here and now.

Yes we drink (my sister and I) and yes we smoke (like a house on fire) and yes we do sing at the top of our lungs and dance like no one is watching. BUT WHY

DO WE NEED TO DO THESE THINGS WHEN THAT WOMAN IS TAKING PICTURES OF US!?

There is a picture of me half on bed, half off, shirt up to my neck and i’m laughing like a loon because my sister and I were swing dancing and she got me

spinning so fast and in our drunken stooper, she let go. Yeah, it was funny at the time, but I was housed up on Jack Daniels and a whole carton of Marlboro

lights!

Kathy, let’s just say it together: “Mom…put away the camera.”

But just in case you don’t believe me, Here you go (and I took a REALLY mild picture to show you what that woman is capable of catching with her damn

camera- I think it’s like a sport to her!)



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24
Feb
Farkle Family -Kristine
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Farkle Family -Kristine
Originally uploaded by randomandodd.
It’s www.selfportraitday.com day!!

I made it for the grand opening and I thought this would be the perfect picture for everyone that has never been to my site before!

Welcome to Kristine’s RANDOM AND ODD BLOG!

Okay, for all of you that know me, tell the new people visiting a little about me in the comments section.

*you’ll be rewarded for nice things!

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23
Feb
Who names a van Morrison?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Say hello to our newest family member, Morrison.

It was time to be all growed up and buy my very own first car. I had hoped my first car would have been something like Eleanor from “Gone in 60 Seconds”,

but being the parent and step parent of 5 kids, I had to just bite the bullet and buy the van.

This means I won’t be getting that Digital Rebel. This also means I won’t be eating until the end of time.

But my kids won’t have to be split into two car everytime we want to go somewhere.

Shaun named it Morrison. He kicked around the idea of Halen, but Morrison stuck.

Tyler said, “Who names a van Morrison?”
I looked at him thinking he would get it. He didn’t.

I’m SO OLD…and I drive a mini van! *

I saw this sign driving the new van on the way home. You think he’ll live past the first week?



*the old comment comes from the ‘van morrison’ comment…not because i’m driving a mini van. If I were old, I would be driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee. this

comment is for my sister who won’t be able to read this comment because the print is too small.

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23
Feb
Reversed Lyrics
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I started out looking for a picture of Crowley’s Castle. WHY? I don’t know.
Anyway, Shaun and I found this website where they have the reversed lyrics to Stairway to Heaven…interesting, but who knows.
The funniest thing was “Another one Bites the Dust” and “Hit Me Baby One More Time.”

http://www3.telus.net/jefmil/stairwaybackwards.htm

Go and listen. You’ll enjoy the laugh.

Anyone know of any reversed lyrics?

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21
Feb
My Peeps!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography

I just love these things! I don’t like to eat them. I just like going into the store and seeing them there. It’s PEEPS SEASON! Sugary pink bunnies. The prettiest

pink you ever see on a oddly shaped bunny abbitt. I bought two boxes because it’s the cutest thing hearing a house full of kids squeal, “PEEPS!”
besides, I won the ‘Best Mommy on a Monday Night’ award when I pulled them out. Go ahead, it’s worth the sugar rush and come down later.

Shaun and I were playing with Matty and Fuji the other night. I got a picture of him RIGHT as Matty’s flash went off.
I know the flash is really bright because I have a bunch of pictures of people RIGHT after I take the first picture and they are rubbing their eyes and moaning.
So this is what you would see if you were on the bad end of Matty.



The evil side of me has to laugh everytime I take a picture of someone. You can hear a part of their brain explode. It is some funny shit.



I might need to pay REAL close attention during this chapter.

I hope you didn’t expect a post that had some sort of structure today. Good, because i’m all scattered.
I went back to work today where EVERYONE was talking about ‘the flu’. It was like we all just got back from war and we had our war stories we had to share.
“I tried EVERYTHING and NOTHING was working!” you would hear. Then you would see about 18 other people nodding ‘yep’. It was bad. *hugs to MrsDoF* I

really hope you get better soon! Really. Truly. I might even pray for you tonight!

Alright, i’ll end it after this ONE last thing…Shea borrowed the fuji tonight and went around taking pictures. Go check em out. It’s the world through the eyes

of my six year old drama queen.

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20
Feb
I have it good
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun
the cars are all clean.
he scratches and rubs my back while I’m blogging.
he gets me ice water.

OMG. I am dating my mom’s dream man!

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20
Feb
I’m annoyed today.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety, Random, The Fonz

It’s another Disclaimer: If you are living with me, you might not want to read this post. If you’re my mom or sister, you might not want to read this.

It’s catch up time. I’ve been sick for a whole week and now it’s time to put down all the things that’s been rattling around in my head (everytime I cough)

I got an email from my boss and the audit ends at the end of this month. She requested that I send me her resume. I might have a couple weeks in between

jobs. I am, of course, stressing out about this because I thought we were going to have extra money, but I got sick and didn’t keep track of the amount of

money going out and now we are, what my mom would say – Up shit creek without a paddle.

I’m stressing out again. I woke up at 4 am in panic attack. I couldn’t go back to sleep because I could actually feel my hair falling out and an ulcer forming.
We have this promised Disneyland trip planned for March. I had money stashed away TWICE for this trip and each time it was used to buy food. I just don’t

see this trip happening and I am, once again, going to be the ‘bad guy’ for having to veto this trip.

I don’t know if it’s the come down from all the medicine I have been on for the last week, but i’m totally on edge about everything.

Okay, next. The picture of my mom, The Fonz, that I posted yesterday that she hates. Get over yourself mother, This is my FAVORITE picture of you because

it’s real. It’s fuzzy headed, bad lighting, dorky look. It’s the real you and I like fuzzy head picture. AND until you you get your own blog and learn how to post

pictures on it, Shush Yourself.
(yeah, that should work)

Car insurance. Car Registration. Car Smog.
Me thinks I need to turn in the car because I really can’t afford it.

Oh, and it looks like someone BARFED in BOTH of my cars. WHY WHY WHY does he eat in the car? WHY? I swear BOTH cars are turning into my old minivan

that we called “The Petri Dish”. We called it this because you weren’t sure you would find something growing in that car that would kill you or something that

might save your life.
It was gross. When I got rid of Petri (okay, when I forgot to put oil in the car for a year and it died in a sad, clattering heap on the side of the freeway)I swore I

would never let my car get that bad again. I didn’t. UNTIL THE ONE WHO EATS IN MY CAR moved in and now I swear,I SWEAR it looks like someone vomited

in my car.
His idea of cleaning the car and my idea of cleaning the car are completely different.
I take it to the gas station and clean the living fuck out of the car.
He, picks up the garbage and sweeps the corn nuts under the mat.
I use auto febreeze, tire cleaner, armour all & Windex.
He uses the sleeve of his shirt to get the top layer of fuzz off the dashboard.
I’ve cleaned the cars the last 3 times. It’s a no-win situation. If I clean it and he gets it dirty, I BITCH about it and he gets PISSY. I mean, GUY PISSY, which is

WAY worse than GIRL PISSY.

I should delete this post. It’s just a giant bitchfest.

This is what my blog was before, it was a place I came to get it out of my system and as of late I haven’t really done that. I need to get back to writing what is

going on in my life because when I go back over old posts I need to see if I had made ANY progress what so ever or if I am just turning my wheels.

28
Feb
Can you say, “Fucking Crazy”?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography


I did something today that I never thought I would do, or get a chance to do.I almost threw up on the way home at three different stop lights.
I almost hyperventilated 14 times in 30 minutes.

I have been shaking for 3 solid hours.

I’m not going to tell you how many times i’ve started to cry and had to stop myself because I feel like an idiot for crying.

I’ve never done ANYTHING this fucking crazy. I just hope I don’t regret it.

I don’t think I will. Look at that picture up there and tell me that isn’t perfect. maybe you need to click on the picture to see it full size.