2005: March - May

06
Mar
:)
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Well, what do you think?
It’s the new Random And Odd blogger design.
Shaun is the ODD half of Random and Odd, as he did all the graphic work on this new design.

It was a all night adventure trying to get it to look right. It still has bugs we are working on. I lost almost all my links and had to go by Kinja and memory on

all the sites I visit everyday. If I missed you, please let me know.
Thank you Shaun for all your hard work! Without you calming me down before I actually hit ‘Save’ I probably would have never done this.

Well, what do you think?

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04
Mar
R U LINKED?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Everyone repeat after me: “THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!”
See, i’ve been out of work for a solid week. I must say, I am loving the sweats, time with the kids and being able to spend lunch with my friends. I am also

loving the IMing with Striz.
BUTT, just because i’m not working I don’t want to forget the joy and relief of what Friday feels like. I don’t want to go a single Friday without remembering.

Don’t let me forget people. Make sure I get outside and see the light of day sometimes. PRAY I get that job, because I hate looking for new ones.

Now onto the Friday rambles.

RANDOM LINK:
Stephen Radford-
I’m linked! DON’T CLICK IT YET! finish reading MY BLOG first. Shesh you wandering whores. ;) I ‘met’ Stephen when he emailed me one day saying that he

found my other website and came to my blog and just read and read. He said some truly wonderful things that make your heart get all big and you cry at your

computer. People, if you find a blog that makes you stop in your tracks and inspire you…tell that person. Don’t be a lurker, just comment and say something

nice because DAMN it feels good to be recognized. Thank you Stephen for recognizing and being brave enough to write something nice. Thank you for also

adding my favorite piece of writing too (A Letter from Birmingham Jail – Martin Luther King Jr.)
That letter inspires & moves me unlike anything I have ever read or seen hanging in a museum.

RANDOM CONVERSATION:
The Nurse-
“Mrs. Stone..this is the Nurse from the school. Shea is sick. She said she has a headache and uh….her feet are going to explode.”

ODD THOUGHT:
Diet Strategy-
Bring a bag of cookies to school and trade the 2nd graders for carrots and other health food items parents pack for their kids. I think I ate about 12 dollars in

carrots and granola and only had to fork out 1.99 for the cookies….AND I’M NOW THE COOL MOM!

Random Expression:
Respect-



I love you Shaun. You are, without a shadow of doubt, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Remind me I said that when you piss me off later

when I get a answer wrong during “The 80′s Game” and you get frustrated with me.

Have a great weekend everyone (and now you can go check out that link)

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04
Mar
Friday Question
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Originally uploaded by randomandodd.
I have this old book called “The Book of Questions” and Friday is now, FRIDAY QUESTION.

Your house , containing everytyhing you own catches fire: after saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one

item. What would it be?

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03
Mar
In all fairness…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random
I bitch about the girls, but tonight after reading KC’s post on the joys of being a mother to a boy, I HAD to post the bitchy sides of “Da Boy”

KC’s reasons why, and then my rebuttals.

No hormone (mood swings)
boys are cheaper
a tube of Clearisil and some gel should do it
“Boys also don’t need a closet stuffed full of clothes”
You want a mood swing, talk to a 14 year old boy. One minute he’s your best friend and talking to you like he’s hyped up on peeps and Jolt cola. There isn’t

anything he forgot to tell you about everything that happened at school. The next conversation (ranging from 25 minutes to 4 hours later) he can’t remember

your name, how he got home from school or why you have the gall to talk to him.
Don’t even dare roam away from him Target to go find some water because if he can’t find you RIGHT THEN AND THERE, he’s a pissed off little shit head for

the next 3 hours.

Boy’s are cheaper. HAHAHAHAHAHA this is the best one so far!
Da Boy gets home from school at 2 something. I guarantee all the way home he is thinking of 13 different ways he’s going to rape the fridge. He eats

EVERYTHING. I’m afraid to leave left overs in the fridge for more than a couple of days because a week or two later you’ll see da boy eating steak with a side

of fuzzy macaroni and cheese. He doesn’t care. He will eat everything and then there is NOTHING left in the house.
In fact I was reading KC’s blog and I told him, “OH, I’m going to tell her about the food that you can consume!” he said….”It’s not my fault, I’m a growing

boy” AS HE SHOVELING FOOD IN HIS MOUTH AT 9:30 PM!

Tube of Clearisil? VATS OF THE SHIT. Not just Clearisil, EVERY brand on the market because teenage boy pimples have evolved and Clearisil just doesn’t cut

it anymore!
Do you have any idea how much money those tubes of Clearisil are? How about the astringent? How about the cotton balls that litter my bathroom floor? The

face strips? The moisturizer?
and the pages and pages of acne web sites I read that tell me not to let him use this shit because I think I read, “His acne will get worse, causing scaring and

he will never get a girl to touch his weenie if his face is all jacked up.”
The boy’s whole sex life is relying on me being able to find the perfect combination of cleaners, toners and Playboy magazines. (I had no idea those pimples

come from pent up sexual stuff)

AND that is a whole other subject I’m not ready to talk about. WHAT THE HELL HE’S DOING IN THE BATHROOM FOR A SOLID HOUR.

Clothes & Video games. He tells me today, in his sweetest boy voice, that he needs a new sweatshirt (preferably Etnies — he’s got good taste now that he lives

with me) because he wears the one he has every day and it’s getting a bit tore up.
Those sweatshirts are like 50 bucks a pop! AT THE CHEAPEST!
Pants, Shirts, and those fucking video games.

You got me on the mommy’s boy though, KC. I can only hope that my girls love me (and Tyler and Marina too) as much as my brothers (and my sister and I)

love my mom.

Her boys are Mommies boys. Kathy and I are her little girls. It doesn’t matter that we are all grown up, we are just little kids to her.

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02
Mar
Self Portrait Thursday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I tried to get someone to take a picture for the “SEE FOOD SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY”

No one wanted to see half eaten pizza.

I’ll try to get one later, maybe breakfast or lunch. Stay tuned for that.

Until then, go check out the official Self Portrait Site

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02
Mar
An open letter to my Mom
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Letters, The Fonz
Dear Mom,

I’m sorry for all those times I would pick up the book you were reading and read ahead about 10 pages past where you were…and then told you what

happened.

I’m sorry for the time you were going on vacation and I took the book out of your suitcase because since I had read 10 pages past where you were, I got

hooked into the storyline and there was NO way I was letting you leave for a week with that book.

I’m sorry for all the time I promised you “I WILL” when you asked me to do dishes…and I never did.

I’m sorry I never stayed grounded for more than 5 minutes.

I’m sorry for stealing your favorite shoes and wearing them out. I’m even more sorry that I called you a dork for wearing those exact shoes about a month

before I stole them.

I’m especially sorry for the time I took your eyeliner and never put it back and that forced you go to out and buy a new eyeliner, which of course I stole that

one too.
I’m really super sorry for you having to use a Sharpie Pen for eyeliner because you didn’t have enough time to go get more eyeliner because you had an

interview at a potential job in an hour…OH WAIT THAT’S ME!

Mom, You fucking cursed me with all these girls! YOUR REVENGE IS SWEET, DEAR MOTHER!

I gotta go, I have to figure out where the HELL THEY HID MY FAVORITE BRUSH!

Stop laughing mother, I’m sending all four girls to YOUR house for the summer!

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01
Mar
You had me at Hello….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography


Kathy wanted to see a picture of my new, NAMELESS camera.

This GIRL needs a name… Suggestions?

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01
Mar
Holy Shit, i’m in LOVE
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, Random


I can’t stop. I CAN NOT stop taking pictures with my new camera!

I swear, I open the camera bag and you can hear angels sing.

I’m slowly adding them to flickr. If you get bored just go check out my photostream.

KID UPDATE:
The girls got holes put in the sides of their heads yesterday. They look cute (uploaded to flickr of course!)

ADDED LINKS:
I signed up for SACRAMENTO’S TOP 25 sites (see the link to the left?) and If you click it, I guess it gives me points or something. I don’t really know how it

works. I started out at 111 and now I am up to 35. I think that’s good.

Sidenote: Rebekah (houseofcards) disappeared. I have emailed her and I got an email from her about a day after she took her site down and she said she had

a bad online experience and she would email me about it when things mellowed out. I never heard from her. I am VERY worried about her too. If anyone hears

from her, PLEASE let me know.

QUESTION: I’ve heard people say they love their car, ipod, new shoes….

What do you love? (non-living, of course)

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01
Mar
I DID IT!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography


Yes, I did it. I swear I almost threw up on the way home. I’ve cried about 7 times.

There is a reason for my over re-acting to the camera purchase.

I don’t do stuff like this. The craziest thing i’ve ever done was buy tickets to Las Vegas for The Fonz, Sister and myself about 6 years ago. I was going to blow

me some cash in Vegas!
I didn’t of course because someone pulled the remaining money out of my account and I couldn’t even gamble or buy my dinner. When I got home the

money was back in the account. The money I didn’t spend in Vegas was spent on computers, wood working tools and clothes. (not what I would have bought

with my money)
The next crazy thing I did was buy my dive gear. This was about 10 years ago. It wasn’t my idea, but in retrospect there was nothing I wanted more than my

scuba gear so I have no regrets.

I’ve gotten things in my life. A van (the first one) a computer (about a million years ago) a trip to Maui.

I am blessed for the things I do have. I just really don’t know how to buy something for myself and just enjoy it without fear of someone saying, “Well, if you

had not bought THAT then you would have money right now!”
Or someone making me feel guilty for buying something that is just for me.

I was driving home and all I could think about was someone saying to me, “You are so stupid for buying that.” or the fear that I was going to have to hide it

from people so they wouldn’t get mad at me.

When I got my car when I was 20 and pregnant we had to say my mom and dad bought it for me because DA’s exgirlfriend (who had his son–and we will just

call her “freak of fucking nature” for now on) would have freaked out and never let us live in peace. I was never allowed to enjoy anything we bought because

it was ‘rubbing it in’.
I had to hide the fact that I bought a house for TWO YEARS because she would have freaked out.

I know now she’s just a freak of fucking nature and I shouldn’t have let what she thought dictate my life. But I was young…and I am still feeling uneasy about

sharing the fact that I bought something so nice for ME.

Anyone have any ‘fucking crazy’ purchases or horror stories about not being able to tell anyone?

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10
Mar
Did I mention: I’m an evil bitch?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


It seems like a life time ago that Dale (can’t really change his name because it’s right there in Sharpie) was in my life…everyday.

Dale wasn’t my boyfriend, oh GOD no. He was just one of the greatest guys to hang out with.

One night he came over and made pork chops. Dale is an AWESOME cook and everything had to be from scratch. He invited some friends over and started

making dinner.

For everytime he walked over to the stove to check the food, he tossed back a shot.

To make a long story short he passed out in my bathroom.
I called a certain friend (Don’t worry, your name is safe with me!) after I had taken a picture of him in a cowboy hat, cuddled up to a green teddy bear.
I was laughing SO hard that I couldn’t breath. The conversation was in short spurts between gales of laughter.

“Dale…bathroom…fuzzy teddy bear!” and with tears streaming down my face she asked me, “You took pictures?”
I don’t even think I said yes, I think I was still laughing to hard and just nodded. Thank God this woman knows me as well as she does. “I’m on my way.”

Because there is a chance IN HELL sometime that Dale might actually find this blog someday, I can’t tell you the rest of what we did or what we took pictures

of.

I did manage to shave the back of his leg and make a BIG ol’ statement.



You might not want to pass out around me.

FRIDAY QUESTION:

If a friend passes out at your house, what do you do? Are you an evil bitch or a nice person. (I did bring him a pillow and blanket…that he threw up on later)

What is the worst thing that someone did to you while you were passed out?

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10
Mar
SHE’S A FRIGGIN’ ARTIST!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: shea


Shea pulled this out of her backpack today.

I was SO impressed with it, I got the camera and clicked away.

I put it up on Flickr and it dawns on me AS I AM TYPING THIS that she did this at school. WHILE SHE SHOULD BE DOING SCHOOL STUFF!

She better use this talent to make me lots of money.

Is this not the best Super Girl picture you’ve EVER seen or am I just a proud mother?

You should see her cheerleader. ooh-la-la.

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10
Mar
Metal Mouth
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara

braces
Originally uploaded by randomandodd.

When Kara was 10 she had odomtoma.

(i’ve tried blogging this 5 different times and there is NO way to make Odomtoma funny so I’m going to give you the short version)

Front tooth falls out. No tooth comes in to replace it. X-ray. LOOK, it’s a mass of small teeth not allowing tooth to come down. Remove mass. Wait for tooth to

come down. LOSE DENTAL INSURANCE. Sixth grade now. NO FRONT TOOTH.

It’s been almost three years and I took her yesterday because we are 3 weeks away from having dental insurance.

She needs braces. Yeah, kinda figured that out when her eye tooth started taking the place of her front tooth.

Good news: Once the braces start making room, her tooth WILL come in.

Bad news: “Hey,Brace Face!”

Yeah, I’m already gearing her up for the teasing by making fun of her already.

She should be happy that she’s getting braces.

I won’t be able to call her Shrek anymore.

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09
Mar
Self Portrait Thursday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun

Go to www.selfportraitday.com and visit some new blogging friends!

I woke up the other morning and I staggered…and I mean STAGGERED to the bathroom to get a hair scrunchie. I got the hair scrunchie and then drove Tyler

to school. I shouldn’t be allowed to drive that eary. I was punch drunk.
I got home and staggered back into the bedroom.
My eyesite has finally reached ‘morning focus’. Morning focus is when I look in the mirror and the image I see reflected back at me looks smokin’ hot with

tousled hair and that ‘just awoken glow’.
It was noon before I made my way back into the bedroom and that is when I finally saw the mirror with ‘normal’ eyes. Normal eyes is when I can walk into the

bathroom, see my reflection, crinkle my nose and make that one eye crazy look and then turn around and forget why the hell I was going in the bedroom in

the first place.
It was at the ‘normal eye – part THREE’ trip to the bedroom/bathroom when I saw what Shaun wrote with eyeliner on the bathroom mirror.
I heart you.
awwww… I heart you too Shaun!
And I heart you too internet. I heart you so much more than you’ll ever know.
I’m kissing the keyboard right now. Can you feel it?
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09
Mar
Goodness, Just a click away…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


So what have I been doing all day?

Three things, but i’m only going to tell you about two of them!

First off, This month belongs to the March of Dimes (with 2 votes) I checked my Google Ad thingy-do-bob and we are up to a buck fifty! If we can do two bucks

a day for 30 days…that’s…*trying to do math in head*…SIXY BUCKS.

I know, it’s not much…but if all I have to do is click a link…i’m pretty happy (and did I mention, easily amused?)



I also was working on a blog for friends and family of the kids.
Dan’s family have NO idea what the kids are up to. They don’t get pictures because I was always the one that sent out the pictures and cards when we were

married. I thought this would be a good way to keep them up to date. It’s also for friends and family of Shaun and I.

I didn’t want more family than I already have coming over here and reading about my … personal things.
I guess I just save that personal stuff for strangers!

Four Plus Three – The “other less offensive blog”

What do you think?

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08
Mar
Google
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I got the Google Ad Sense thing going on.
I signed up because I want to earn a buttload of money and move to Maui.

Since that won’t work, i’m going to have a monthly COMMENTERS PICK charity and donate the money I get from you guys just clicking ONE DAMN LINK

every now and again. If you have Google Ad things, I ALWAYS CLICK IT.

Since it’s mid month and I won’t start getting anything until the end of April…I can take suggestions as to what charity you want the money to go to.

On a 1-10 scale I have done charity work (if you add the old clothes and crazy amount of money I spend at bingo) maybe a 4. This is my first actual step into

bettering my world. Baby steps Dr. Marvin. Baby steps.

I will take pictures of the checks or post how much we all made this month. (I’ll probably take pictures…I’ll look for any reason to pull out the camera) I’m

promise not to turn my blog into a tree hugging awareness blog. If I do, please comment and tell me to knock that shit off.

Anyway, I didn’t put that tacky ass thing up there to make my site pretty (ugly) I put it there for you to click and save some lives. So suggest a charity and then

go click.

yeah?

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08
Mar
I’m an Aries
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


It’s nearing my birthday.

On March 24th I turn 33 years old.

After 30 my birthday I was happy because at the time I was dating someone that was much older than me. After 30 I dated someone that was much younger

than I was and instead of feeling like an old hag, I started feeling like I was finally mature.

I’m turning 33. It just has this weird ring to it. I never had a problem with any birthday before this…except my 13th where I nearly chopped my damn finger off

trying to get my sweatshirt to be like a Michael Jackson glove.

Thirty Three.

It’s going to happen. Someday someone is going to ask me,

“So how old are you?”

and I’m going to either have to scratch their eyes out or say,

“I’m 33″

I just can’t lie about my age. (Thanks mom for that whole, ‘liars go to hell’ complex you gave me!)

I’m going to spend my 33rd birthday in a mini-van with five kids driving 8 hours to Disneyland.

Feeling old much?

It’s okay though…when I get sad I will just pull my camera a little bit closer to my chest like a baby and whisper, “If I were 22 I would have never been able to

afford you!”

My Birthday Wishes:

I want my brother in law to be happy again.
I want my mother to admit that I am her favorite. right here for all the world to see.
I want Kathy to sit at the big desk in her own office.
I want everyone to visit someone’s blog this month and add them to their list & comment on their blog. Adopt a Blogger Month. Bring people to their site. Say

nice stuff. Pick someone that doesn’t get much traffic. It’s a nice thing to do.
I want someone to fix my mom’s SUV so she has no excuse not to come see me.
I want to hear you all sing the Oscar Mayer Hot Dog song.
I want to dive again soon. I want to see air bubbles floating up to the top of the ocean (and not the farting kind of bubbles either)
I want you go to read Shaun’s Blog today, it’s fucking hysterical. Shaun as Ryan Seacrest!
I want some Random and Odd CD’s made by my bloging friends to listen to in my van.
I want the guy who got his nads chewed off by that monkey to be okay.
I really really really want a shower CD/Radio thing.
I want Shaun to allow me to wear my toe-socks around the house again, without ridicule.
I want those little flowers from my old blog when I use to do lists and not these ugly ass blue dots.I think above all the things above I want this one thing…
I want my friend Lisa to be healthy. I want her to be happy. I want her in my life for a very long time.
Did anyone else have any problems turning a certain age? What do you all want for your birthday. (no, you can’t have my D70!)

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07
Mar
I know.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: ex, My Brats, My Favorite Posts, Shaun, The Fonz


It’s really, really late and I am falling in and out of sleep when I hear the ‘thump, thump’ of Kara’s stereo. She’s fallen asleep to the hip hop station and I have

to go turn it off or I will have JLo stuck in my head for the next two days.

I maneuver around pillows, towels and Polly Pocket toys until I find the stereo. I turn it off and see both of my girls cuddled up together in Kara’s bed. I think

“Oh how cute” and I try to find my way back to my bedroom without tripping over the Polly Mall.

I climbed back into bed and it dawns on me. My 8 year old is in bed with the 11 year old. This means one of two things: Alyx had a bad dream or Kara had a

bad dream and told Alyx to get in bed with her. The likely of the two is that Alyx had the bad dream and felt it would be safer to get into bed with her older

sister.

I got back out of bed and picked up Alyx and I brought her to my room. This was ‘our’ room for 3 years before Shaun moved in. Kara and Shea both liked

their beds and on occasions would come get in bed with me, but Alyx always slept with me. She had her side of the bed. There was never a question that when

I would come to bed, she would be there with just the top of her head poking out of the covers. It’s just how it was and no one questioned it.

It took a couple of months of slowly getting Alyx use to sleeping in her own bed, but for the most part she did really good. I missed her and I knew she

missed ‘her side of the bed’ too.

Tonight as I slipped her into my side of the bed and cuddled up close to her I had forgotten how good it felt to hold her and feel her instantly cuddle into my

chest. I remember why it was so easy to be single for all those years.

Then it hit me like a fucking train at full speed and with a knot in my throat I thanked God. I thanked him because I couldn’t think of anyone else at that

emotional moment.
I thanked Him because I know there is a mother out there, laying awake at 1 in the morning wishing they still had their 8 year old daughter in bed with her…

maybe for just one more night.

I’m not naive enough to think that something bad will never happen to me or my girls. I know it can.

I pulled Alyx closer and thought about the parents that lay in bed at night while their children are in a hospital fighting for their lives. Who get up every

morning and instead of making breakfast, finding lost shoes and bitching about where their 11 year old daughter hid her eyeliner, have to get up and go

spend the day at the hospital and watch their child lose their hair & get poked with needles.

Some will spend the day wondering where their child is and with who. I know where my little girls are. They are laying in bed next to me kicking the covers off

of their feet, turning over and over and rubbing my arm while they sleep.

I can’t stop kissing Alyx’s head and rubbing her face. I want God to know that I am not taking anything for granted and to please keep them safe, because I

recognize how lucky I am to have them here.

I then start thinking about Dan, my ex-husband. He loves his girls so much. I say ‘thanks’ to him too. He’s not laying here with his baby girl, holding her little

hand and thinking about how lucky he is. He’s at his apartment, alone. He didn’t want to give up this either. He certainly didn’t ask to be a ‘part time dad’.
I silently thank him again for not leaving state with my girls. I’m not naive enough to think it couldn’t have happened. It happens. Every single day.
And in my safe little world I think, “Well at least the other parent knows that the child will be safe because at least it was the other parent that took the child.”

…and then I feel Alyx roll over and let out a big sigh and I think, ‘but the parent that doesn’t have the child…doesn’t have this.’ and I kiss her head for the

fourteenth time in 5 minutes.

She’s waking up because I can’t stop pulling her closer. She slowly pops up her head and sees Shaun laying there and puts her head back down…and then

puts her arm around him and goes back to sleep. My heart explodes. I thank my mom. I thank her for teaching me good judgment. I know in the past I’ve

dated a couple of complete idiots, but for the most part I have been VERY smart about the men I let into my life. I made the best choice I could have ever

made by letting Shaun in. He feels her hand around him and in his sleep he pats her little hand and lets out a sigh.

I know I complain. I know I get frustrated. I also know that things could be so much worse and sometimes I just need to be reminded of how wonderful my life

is. I am grateful that it happens in moments like this and not after the fact.

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06
Mar
Flying Boobies!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random, Shaun


Going places with Shaun is always fun because he’s just as weird as I am.
It was at the auction this weekend that I realized that he might be weirder.

I’m a moron. I forgot to put the memory card back in The Bohemoth, but Shaun being the photograph geek in training, remembered to bring Matty.

I’m not going to spoil his blog fodder by posting all the random ass shit he took pictures of, but be warned–It’s just as bad…if not worse…than the day at the

Sacramento Zoo.

Mr C (Shaun’s Dad) was groaning everytime Shaun pulled out the camera, but by the end of the trip he was saying, “Did you get that? Did you see that?” I

think Mr.C is finally getting use to his son being a total weirdo.

I got the girls bags for the trip to Disneyland. 10 bucks each and very stylish. They have LIPS on them!!
My girls will look like Rolling Stone’s groupies!

Walking from vendor to vendor I realized something VERY important. I AM OUT OF SHAPE! There is no way I’m going to survive in Disneyland. They will find

me passed out behind Toon Town or in a boat in Small World!

So I went to Kohl’s and bought some walking shoes…and a new camera bag…and some more peeps. Shut up, they are for Scotty!

I’ve gotta go, my adorable 8 year old daughter has a white garbage back out and is reading the experation date on boxes of cereal.
“Mom, there are 17 boxes in here that need to be thrown away!”

Oh crap, she’s now on bag TWO!

I’m a horrible parent!

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06
Mar
Dad Gone Mad Questions
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
If an enraged chimp escaped from its cage and began violently attacking you, would you protect your face or your genitals (“both” is not an acceptable answer)?

I’m pretty sure it would be my face.

Have you ever blamed your own fart sound or odor on someone else (e.g., your dog, your child)?

On a daily basis. Why have a dog or children if you couldn’t use them for such things?

If you wanted to get shit-face drunk, what beverage would you drink?

Vicoden with a Jack Daniels & Coke chaser. (have I told you lately that I love you sister?)

Have you ever been photographed or videotaped naked? If so, what were the circumstances?

Now this is one of those times that you wished my family and boyfriend didn’t read my blog because I got some good stories here!

To which magazines do you subscribe?

Girl Cosmo and Seventeen. My God, what happened to the days of Sports illustrated and Guns & Ammo?

In the parlance of the bathroom, are you a folder or a crumpler?

Whoa, that took me about 15 times to figure out what that the question was asking! I’m a crumpler.

What is your favorite slang term for “testicles?”

Kiwis!

If you could be a contestant on a reality TV series, which would it be? Why?

Extreme Home Makeover. Would someone PLEASE get me on that show! I want to go to Hawaii for a week and come home to heaven. I’m leaving for

Disneyland for 4 days and GOD ONLY KNOWS what this house will look like when I get home.

(open note to Mom: I FINALLY understand that whole ‘I want to come home to a clean house’ thing you would bitch about)

Have you ever gotten a foreign object stuck in one of your orifices?

I got a bead stuck in my ear. I swallowed a marble. I couldn’t find the string once.

What is the most disgusting thing you have ever eaten?

There is this truck stop restaurant between Mt. Shasta and Redding, California. I don’t know if it was me or someone else that ordered it, but the image has

stuck in my head for years and I can’t shake it. Pancakes with the longest, most nastiest hair weaved through it.

In the bathroom is a clawfoot tub with a mannequin wearing a wedding dress…missing an arm. Freaky ass Deliverance shit going on in that town!!

Go visit, “Dad Gone Mad” and tell him I sent you!

16
Mar
Bad Hair Day Thursday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Well I guess I have brought a few of my readers to tears today so I thought this might cheer you up a smidge.

It was taken after we had spent the day at the lake and I had taken every picture I could take, from every angle with every possible lighting. People were sick of

me taking so many pictures. In fact one of the said, “Kristine, doesn’t that battery ever die?” (I had 2 other camera’s for back-up, no worries)

I was walking down the hall and someone said, “YOUR TURN” I’m REALLY good at these types of looks. Who ever actually KEEPS pictures like this? Usually

it gets deleted, but I held onto this one because I really don’t think I look any dorkier.

and as for the bad hair day pictures:



My Freshman year in high school. Many of you remember this picture as I have posted it before. I think it was for, “My Camaro bangs bring all the boys to the

yard. My bangs are bigger than yours.” Thursday.



I thought I needed to cut my own hair, dye my own hair and then take pictures. This was about 5 years ago.

I call this, “Divorce Me Hair”

Comments (14)  //  Add Comment
16
Mar
Backwards
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, Random
I really didn’t like the older guy who lived across the street when Kara was a baby. It wasn’t because he looked creepy or complained about the way I parked

my car in the driveway. It was because his lawn was perfect. I know this is a shitty reason to not like someone, but, let me explain, ‘perfect lawn’.

He would mow, weed and trim that lawn every weekend and on Wednesdays. I thought it was overkill, but then again I only mowed the lawn when I couldn’t

find my mailbox anymore.

His mowing got worse this one month in the summer. His house was right across the small street from mine and he always chose to mow the lawn right after

Kara took a nap. She woke up every time he fired that thing up. I was so frustrated with it, but I was young and didn’t have the nerve to ever say anything. I

just changed Kara’s nap time around his mowing.

He started mowing and weed eating his lawn every single day, twice a day. It seemed like every time I made Kara a bottle I heard him fire up the weed eater. I

was at boiling point, but never said anything.

About a week into this man’s mowing frenzy I heard something that made my heart swell with joy. A rock had been pulled into his lawn mower and after one of

the loudest lawn mower sounds I have ever heard…silence. Now when I say I jumped with excitement, i’m not just being dramatic for story telling purposes. I

JUMPED FOR JOY.

I had to take a look out my window and see the mower-man’s frustration. I looked, but I didn’t see him. I went to the front door and peeked out the peep hole.

What I saw next confused my senses. HE WAS MOWING MY LAWN! That rock that went into the mower, came from MY yard.

I walked outside trying to figure out if I should thank him for mowing my lawn or feel bad about the rock or angry he was mowing my yard or happy about the

rock.

He saw me walking outside and stood up from inspecting his damage. “Hope you don’t mind i’m mowing your lawn. I already mowed all the people on my

side of the street and I thought I would start on this side.”

I couldn’t say anything. I was too busy looking up and down the street at all the perfectly mowed lawns. I thought, “Ah, one of THOSE types. He mows their

lawn to show all the neighbors what he wants the neighborhood to look like. Guilting us into lawn maintenance for the sake of re-sale value.”

“Uh…thank you.”

He just smiled and bent down to try to fix his rock destroyed lawn mower.

It was about a week later when I was outside checking my mail (because now I can find the mailbox) when I saw both sides of the street lined with cars.

“Amway meeting.” I thought to myself. This guy REALLY needs to get a life.

I love to watch the news. I lived with a reporter for several years and was subjected to nightly news, daily news, newspapers, radio news…you name it. I love

news because of him. I had been following a certain hit and run case that happened in Folsom. I was watching the noon news segment on it when I heard the

firing up of that damn lawn mower, and this time I knew he was mowing my lawn again.
I looked over at Kara who was sound asleep in her play pen and decided I had enough of it.

I tore out the front door and there he was smiling at me. He must have seen the frustration on my face because he turned off the mower and offered an

explanation.
“I guess I should explain this.” He walked over to me and he looked almost hurt that I was upset about the mowing of the lawn. “I come out here everyday at

noon to mow the lawns because the news is on and I don’t want to watch the news.” He paused trying to find a way to explain. “My daughter was killed in

Folsom by a hit and run driver. I’m sure you saw all the cars at my house…it was after her funeral. I’m sorry if we might have blocked your driveway. If you

don’t want me to mow your lawn, I understand. I just need to get out of that house and do something or I will go crazy.”

I felt like the biggest asshole that ever lived. I told him he could mow my lawn as much as he wanted, as often as he wanted. I even silently promised to stop

throwing rocks on the lawn too.

A couple weeks later they caught the guy who did it. They recapped the story and I cried when I saw my neighbor on the news explaining what happened.”I

had dropped my daughter off right down the street from her girlfriends house. She was walking when the driver hit her. She was thrown the length of a football

field. She was only 16 years old. ” “…they used the paint that was embedded in her body to identify the make and model of the car.” “…I want to thank

everyone that helped find her killer and thank my friends, family and neighbors who have supported me throughout this process.”

To this day, the sound of a rock in a lawn mower just makes those memories come flooding back.

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16
Mar
Busted at Bingo
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I crossed a serious line at the bingo hall tonight. I took in the camera and took pictures.

I wasn’t taking pictures of secret bingo hall rituals or pictures that would threaten the safety of any US citizens. I was just taking pictures…of bingo balls.

shut up.

For the most part, the pictures are pretty lame. I was hoping to get that Time Life Photograph that would change the world forever. I got a picture of a bunch of

daubers & and blurry shot of the number 4.

Sorry guys, i’m not the person to save the world through photots.

Who knows what happens next. I might be forced to write:
I WILL NOT TAKE PICTURES AT BINGO EVER AGAIN! a hundred times and have it posted next to the “Rules of Bingo” which clearly does NOT have a rule

that says I can’t take pictures in the bingo hall.

It will be MY luck that I will be the one person who gets arrested for taking pictures in Disneyland.

I’m packing a mouse trap in my camera bag, JUST IN CASE.

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15
Mar
KNOCK IT OFF!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
In honor of Dooce’s “How to Annoy Me” I have come up with my own version of that.
It’s the KNOCK IT OFF! part of my blog.

When you use the shaving cream in the shower, don’t put it on the floor, shelves or bench part. Please put it on the ‘oh shit i just slipped in the shower and

can’t get up’ handle.
You are leaving rust colored rings in the shower.

I said this nicely because if you actually saw how bad the shower and toilet look right now, you would be calling my house saying, “HELLO! KETTLE!?”

Oh, and can you please start using the good razors? the ones you use on your face are just not getting the right angle of my legs. Next week I will ask if you

could also start using the shaving cream that has moisterizer in it. They’re the ones in the pink bottle ;)

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15
Mar
Days x Gas x Food x Miles = I need more money!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


We are on Disneyland count down at our house.
“How many days till Disneyland?”
“SEVEN!” they all scream in unison.

Disneyland, also known as the happiest fucking place on earth. I don’t remember it being the ‘happiest’ place. My happy place does not include over priced

food, crowds of people, long lines and large mice.
Yes, If I had my choice I would be packing my dive gear, flip flops & bathing suit and heading to Maui.

There was a time when getting in the car and driving in the general area of where I wanted to go was the perfect way to plan a vacation.
Those days are SO over. Now I have become a freak about planning.

I haven’t let anyone see the many journals I keep of numbers. I’m a number person. I hate math, but I like knowing how much something is going to cost if

you add in certain factors. I like to know how many miles divide by this and rounded off to that. I love that stuff, but it consumes me. I’m consumed right now.

I am calculating the miles, the gas, the cost of sodas, the blue book value of a 1982 Dodge Aries, the amount of water it takes to ….yeah, I’m getting carried

away.

Tell me i’m not the only one.

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14
Mar
Such Randomness
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

the downfall to having the D70 is you can’t ask a stranger to take a picture of you without fear of someone else holding your camera and running off with it.

Yep, it’s a ‘Such Randomness’ post.

KC’s back from the funeral.
No one has clicked on the AdSense for Charity link in 2 days. We are still at $8 bucks. Not convinced that March Of Dimes is the right charity, go read Tina’s

story about her son.
My mom, the Fonz…I made her a blog. Go check it out.
I have a social studies test tomorrow. Okay, I don’t have a test, but the two girls do. I had to teach 1,000 years in India history in 3 hours. Bring on Jeopardy, I

could kick some ass!
I went a whole day without taking a single picture.
I updated my sister’s blog and make one for my mom and put together a ‘picture of the day’ blog.
This Thursday is BAD HAIR DAY SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY. So get out that camera and snag a picture of you looking all jacked up. I think I have about 63

pictures I have to pick from.
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14
Mar
Room For More
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety, The Fonz


This is a long one, but if you’re a stay at home mom, just read…it’s not like you have anything better to do.
It’s Monday again, except this is the Monday after I found out that I didn’t get that job I thought I would get. So this is the first Monday I am feeling like a lazy

ass for not putting my resume in for review at a million different places.
This is the first Monday of guilt and the start anxiety attacks.

Of course, I don’t want the anxiety attacks and I had gone a long time without them, but I can feel them coming on. I saw the mail sitting on my catch-all and I

started to shake a bit. BILLS.
I have the money to pay for them. I will pay for them. That’s not the problem. The problem is the first time something financially gets messed up, I’m going to

freak out. I’m going to freak out because if I were working, THAT wouldn’t have happened. There is a good chance THAT won’t even happen, but I’m like a

beaten dog when it comes to ‘not working’.

Many of you are Stay At Home Mothers. (and stay at home fathers) There are two things you face when you are a SAHM.
You get the people that work that look down at you for staying home. I don’t know WHY this happens, if it’s guilt or jealousy that the person that is working

feels guilty that they don’t get to spend time with their kids. It’s harsh though, that feeling of people looking at you and thinking, “Get a job bitch.” and they

do. Some are even vocal and ballsy enough to say it, “Well she needs to get a job, stop staying home and doing nothing all damn day and stop mooching off

her man.” (yes, this has been said about me, yes it hurt and if ANYONE dare say that again I will hire The Fonz to shoot them in the head at close range.)

Or you fall into the, “I am a SAHM” club of insanity because you try to justify staying home by being a super parent; doing the cheer practice, softball, soccer,

pta, drama club, bake sale, teachers aide and baby gym. Don’t forget the million trips to the park. You do this because you don’t people to be able to say you

don’t do anything all day. You’ll be divorced in 5 years if you try to do all that or try to justify being a SAHM. Why? you’ll feel like you do everything and he

does nothing. Yes, he goes to work, but he gets to spend all day with adults while you spend all day, everyday with the kids, driving them EVERYWHERE. He

gets home and you just want to drop the children in his lap and go to bingo. (oh wait, that was me.)

I’m not going to try to justify shit. I am going to do what I can, while I can and if someone decides to talk shit about me being home then it’s time to reload

the gun. *

The Fonz was a stay at home mom. I knew that every morning she was going to walk into my room and threaten my life to get me out that bed. She was going

to pour me a bowl of cereal and she was going to push me out the door kicking and screaming.

I knew when I was at school she was at home. I didn’t know what she was doing, but I knew that if I got sick or hurt I just had to call. I also knew that the

school could call her if I acted up and she would be down at that school in 15 minutes to kick my ass.

She was home when I got home. Always. This was the smartest thing my mother could have ever done, being home when I got home. I couldn’t go over to a

friends house after school and get stoned, I didn’t dare get stoned because she would have caught me. I was a sneaky girl, but my mom knew every single

thing I ever did…and you want to talk about rope and hanging myself? I think she would give me enough JUST to see me hang myself. Then she would stand

there and watch me dance on my tip toes. She would then cut the rope and I wouldn’t make that same mistake twice.

I didn’t realize how much mom being home effected my life until I was a SAHM. I also didn’t realize what hard work it was.
It’s frustrating and painful. It’s also really damn cool too.
I don’t know if I can be a SAHM again. I want to for awhile. I like being here when the girls leave from school. I like being home when it’s nice and quiet. I like

picking them up from school and seeing their faces all rosey and hair all messed up from a day of playing and learning.

But,

I have got to lay down some rules for myself or I am going to be an anxiety ridden mess.

When I was out of work before I told myself that I would go back to work after summer when the kids went back to school. I did. It’s now 10 weeks before

summer again. I need to set a deadline.
I need to shower EVERY MORNING.
Everyday I have to learn something new.
I must paint this house. One of the main reasons my house is starting to look like a crack dealer lives here is because i’m never home to do anything with it.

If I am home, i’m on a project EVERY DAY.
Walk, I MUST GET OUT AND WALK.
I need a support group. I need to know that I am supported for my time at home, however short or long that may be. I need to know that I’m not going to hear,

“get a fucking job.” I hate killing people, I really do.
I want to be that 50′s house wife at least 3 times a week. I want to make dinner, be all dressed up (and drunk by noon)
Anyway, I have a road ahead of me. I won’t be able to stay at home for long…cause well I will go crazy and lock the children in the dryer because they were

singing to loudly.
I will not take advantage of this time spent at home with those little fucking rug rats though.

And now, today’s mission. FIND MY BEDROOM. I know it’s at the end of the hall to the left, but once that door opens it looks like Old Navy exploded.

*I had to delete a blog from my list of blogs I read everyday. I hated doing this because I really use to love this blog.
Being home now, and excepting the fact that I am home I can’t read bitter blogs.
It seems to me that lately people are getting bashed for being parents. You could be the best mom in the world and you’re going to get slammed by someone

for something.
I understand getting pissed. I would be pissed to if someone dared say I was a bad parent. I mean, I’m not the best parent; I bite my children. I make fun of

my children. I feed them corndogs 2 days out the week. I scare my children when they round a corner. I get mad and yell and cuss and sometimes I’m late

picking them up from school.
No one is perfect. Not me, not you…and not even the Fonz. People are going to talk shit and if we chose to keep blogging through all of it, we can’t stay bitter.

It ruins your blog.
I’m hoping to be able to go back to this blog in a couple of months and have this person not so angry. (no, this isn’t pissy britches…because she’s sposta be

that way, it’s what makes her blog so fun to read.)

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14
Mar
Bye Bye Trip!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


There is one weekend a month where Shaun and I don’t have kids. This last weekend was it.

Many of you will remember the weekend where I wanted to go to San Francisco and ended up going to the casino with the Cuttinghams (also the post my

mother was graced with the name, “The Fonz”)
It was a good weekend, but I really wanted to go to San Francisco.

I got to go this weekend!



We started the day out at Ikea. Ikea is what heaven is going to be like. It has everything…cheap.

We went to Pier 39 and got to do all the tourist stuff.



How about this picture? It has “Pissy Britches and The Fonz” written all over it.





I had a good weekend. Hope you all did too.

Check out all the pictures by clicking HERE.

Comments (4)  //  Add Comment
13
Mar
One guess where I went yesterday.
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random

Guess where I’m going?
Originally uploaded by randomandodd.

Comments (8)  //  Add Comment
11
Mar
The Fonz is Packin’
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random, The Fonz


I don’t know if I ever told you. My mom-The Fonz, She has a dead on aim and can hit anything standing still or jumping from tree to tree from a mile away.

You wouldn’t think that by looking at that innocent lady above that she has on many occation, pulled out her gun and shot people.

You’re on to me, She hasn’t shot anyone. yet. She could though. she’s packin.

I think I was around 15 when we were at the grocery market with my mom.
She had cruised every isle and got all the food she thought we would need for the week.
My mom, God love her, has a good 3 minutes to find her wallet before getting to the counter to pay for her goods, but she waits until we get to the front of the

line to heave her 20 pound purse onto that tiny little square that is normally used for people writing chcecks.

“Kristine?” She’s looking around and in the basket for something, “Where’s my wallet?”

I put my hands into her purse, which is the size of very large diaper bag, and start helping her to look.

This is where the story just goes wrong.

She pulls the purse off the tiny square and starts pulling items from her purse to make it easier to find the wallet.

The first item out the bag is a Smith and Wesson .357 Magnum with a 6″ barrel. She very carefully places this Dirty Harry on the tiny square and begins to dig

deeper into the bag.

I grew up with guns. If you didn’t get a gun for your birthday you were offended and hurt. Most girls were asking for Barbies and I was asking for Pachmayr

Grips for my .38 S&W snub nose or some grain so I could reload bullets.

The boy behind the counter…was NOT raised around guns.

I looked up at the boy and it took a second to register that look. It was fear. He was scared shitless. He was probably wetting himself.

“MOM…put the gun back in your purse.”

My sweet, sweet, sweet mother looks at the boy, looks at the gun, and instead of reassuring the boy that she’s not here to rob him and shoot his pimply head

off, says in the most mater of fact voice;

“It’s okay, I have a concealed weapons permit.”

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30
Mar
blo-gggger
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Is Blogger actually working today?

Well, I thought I had recovered from the trip, but I am still feeling like I could sleep for another few days.

I haven’t caught up on all the blog reading for the last week so I think I am just going to have to say, “I’m sorry guys, I don’t think I can read everyone’s blog.

Please just comment on my page and tell me what you’ve been up to.”

My back up blog (the one I used yesterday) is going back to my ‘design’ place. I use that blog to test out any potential blog styles I like. So, unless you’re

really bored and want to see what I’m working on, you don’t need to go there anymore. Hopefully. Please Blogger, just be nice to me.

If you couldn’t tell, I have nothing to write about. I’ve been in a weird place for the past few days. I’ve been thinking about the ‘writing for me, writing for you’

subject that seems to be something going around blogosphere. People losing themselves to writing for other people and not for themselves anymore.
It seems when I write for myself that I finally feel better about what was bothering me. When I write for others I censor what I write in fear of hurting someone’s

feelings or giving people the wrong impression. God forbid you all think I am a anxiety ridden freak. Oh wait, you already knew that huh?

I want to be able to use this space to write like I would if I were in bed with my leather bound journal and a pen I can’t seem to get to work. I want to pour it out

here. I do…sometimes. I feel like a make a difference when I do. Sometimes I want to laugh, and make you guys laugh with me.

Anyone else in this place?

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30
Mar
Disneyland
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random
I had six hours on the car ride home and a couple of days (bad blogger! baaaad blogger!) to think about what I was going to write after my trip to Disneyland.

When I say, “I spent three days in Disneyland with 5 kids.” I don’t think you quite understand the magnatude of that statement because I wouldn’t hear, “Oh

HOW FUN. I bet you had a great time!”I think the response I want to hear is similar to if you heard I was having a brain transplant. “OH MY GOD! YOU ARE

KIDDING ME RIGHT? HOLY CRAP! WHAT A BRAVE WOMAN YOU ARE!”

Don’t get me wrong. I did have fun. I did have a great time. I also have NO hair left, a bleeding ulcer and don’t get me started on the aches and pains I am

experiencing RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT.

Mom, don’t read this next part.

In high school I did LSD a couple of times. I was told “If you do that, years later you’ll have acid flashbacks that will scare the living hell out of you.”

Disneyland for three days is much like that statement. I think in a few years I will be sitting in Bingo minding my own business and I am going to burst out in

images of my daughter screaming “DON’T MAKE ME RIDE SPLASH MOUNTAIN. IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WON’T DO THIS TO ME!” I will see little dolls singing,

“It’s a small world”, Chip and Dale chasing me around with a big camera and I will feel like I am caught in the longest line in the world with a guy that smells

like ass in front of me.

I will deserve this though. My six year old daughter’s first experience of Disneyland was The Haunted Mansion & Thunder Mountain Railroad. You would think

we would have started her out on ‘It’s a Small World’, but even I wasn’t THAT brave.

Okay Mom, you can start reading again.

It was a great trip. I will do the ‘nice’ Disneyland blog on the kids Blog because hopefully if I write about all the fun they had and put in pictures as proof they

will forget the THIRTY miles I made them walk, the sharing of soda because it cost 5 bucks a bottle, telling Shea that Splash Mountain was just the little train

that went around the park. I won’t tell them that I lied about ‘Small World’ being broke down after our first trip through it so I wouldn’t be forced to go through

it again.
I’m sure they will only remember the good stuff. If not I am going to be paying some therapist years down the road.

Oh and Mom, you thought I was bad on that Thunder Mountain Railroad when I went! You should have seen your grand daughter trying to get off the thing

after the first drop. It was classic shit and I now finally understand why you and dad thought that was the funniest thing you had ever seen when I tried to do

the same thing. I finally understand your sadistic ways.

I’m home, and here’s the pictures I promised – Disneyland Pictures -

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. It was great to come home to so many well wishes!

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22
Mar
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: The Fonz


I use to drive a former California Highway Patrol car. No, I wasn’t a cop and it didn’t come with the cool lights. I wish!
I bought it after they had used it, painted it red and auctioned it off. The CHP did a lot of modifications to the car. The handling in that car was SWEET. I could

go from 0 to “Oh shit, too fast!” in about 5 seconds. It took me about 3 months to finally be able to drive it without coming home with head and neck injuries.

It took about a year for me to stop giggling every time I drove it.

I let the Fonz drive my car. I don’t remember exactly WHY I let her drive my car. I guess it was because she was the one who taught me the second half of

driving a stick shift (Kathy taught me how to speed shift) and I felt obligated to let her take the new car for a spin.

This was the one of those moments where you realize that you are finally better at something than your parents. My mom couldn’t drive my car.

“The clutch is too stiff! Why is it making that sound?” She looked at me like I gave her the keys to a school bus.

“Mom! it’’s a sport car, that’s why the clutch is so stiff. That sound it’s making is you grinding the gears.”
She just looked at me and rolled her eyes.
My mother, the Fonz, GRIND GEARS? I THINK NOT.

She drove it from my aunts house to her house. By the time she pulled in the drive way I was a wreck.. The sound of the engine shutting off was the greatest

thing I had ever heard.

“What?” She looked at me finally able to relax in my seat. “You look stressed out? What’s the matter?”
“Nuthin.”
I didn’t want to tell her that she shifted into fourth gear doing 30 miles an hour and after about 5 miles had FINALLY just gotten up to the speed to actually

shift into fourth gear. Just leave it alone. This is the woman that gave birth to you. This is the woman who is the grandmother to your children. This is the

woman that carries a .357 in her purse and has used the term, “I brought you into this world. I can take you out!”

When I was little I use to ask my mother, “Why do we have to drive Grandma around? Doesn’t she know how to drive?”

I think I just figured it out.

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21
Mar
One Shot, Two Shot, Three Shot…FLOOR
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I stopped at two.

Happy amost Birthday to me!!

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21
Mar
little me
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Hi Everyone!
I’m at mom’s house. I’m going through all her pictures and I found this one of me when I was…MOM! how old am I in this picture? I was about 9 months old.

Wasn’t I just a cutie?

I’m going to flickr some pictures that I took while I am here. The girls got new haircuts (Thanks Auntie Kathy!) and some of The Fonz with her .357, Kathy in

her big, green rubber jacket with the funky hat and glasses!!
They may not be Moab cool pictures, but I know you’re all just itchin’ to see em!

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20
Mar
Going to Redding….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Well, it’s the first leg of the big trip. Today I leave for Redding to get drop off the Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog at my mom’s so she can watch her while we go

to Disneyland.

I come back on Tuesday to pick up Shaun and the kids and we leave for Disneyland Wednesday morning. (I will be missing Self Portrait Thursday which is –

You in the Workplace theme….I told HDL to just imagine me in Mickey Mouse ears.)

I won’t get back until Sunday.

Before I go, I better lay down some rules.

Katie Be-Bored-At-Work – No fighting with asstrolls. they will go away if you just talk about tampons.
I update the kids page. FOUR PLUS THREE. It’s my letter to Kara for her birthday. It was weird writing it. I’m glad I did. If you have a kid…write em a letter.
I fixed the lame flowers on The Fonz Blog and made them bullet holes. She blogged. (Okay, She commented and thought she was blogging. It was cute, but I

fixed it for her.)
I’m figuring out this whole CSS thing. I am LOVING redoing Blogger accounts. I fixed Tina’s AGAIN…and this time we both like it!!
If you want to redo your blog. Let me know. I am having a blast with it.

Now I better get going, my mom and sister are waiting. You don’t keep those two waiting.

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18
Mar
Should I blog this?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
This morning I was sitting here at the computer minding my own business when I saw a little bit of paper slip between the stove and the counter.

“how odd.” I thought.

Then I was sitting here a little while later and I was sitting her still minding my own business when I saw a mouse come OUT.OF.MY.STOVE!

I was on the phone with the school nurse when the sucker decided to pop it’s fuzzy little head out. I screamed. I don’t know WHY I screamed, because it’s just

a mouse and I’m not afraid of a mouse. I think it was more because it was coming OUT.OF.MY.STOVE!

What did I do? I grabbed my camera, a chair and I waited. The camera at the perfect focus of the hole the thing came out of a few minutes earlier.
Well, I sat there for a good minute before I realized that it could come out underneath the stove so I got up and sat back down…on my feet. That little fucker

isn’t going to creep out and scare me.

I sat there a little bit longer and I realized it could be on the side of the fridge. I used the beam of blinding light that comes on when you auto-focus the Nikon

to be able to see on the side of the fridge. Shit, I need to clean my stove AND my fridge. No mouse.

I sat back down and waited. Hmmm. I bet that sucker is behind the toaster. I stood up and saw my reflection in the stove and FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. I

jumped and started hitting the shutter button over and over. I got mad at myself of course for being such a wussy and sat back down. I sat and sat. Then like

any crazy person would after sitting for 30 minutes waiting for a mouse to come out of the stove, I started mumbling to myself.

And then I did it, I became paranoid. I started thinking I saw it by the coffee pot. Then on the floor. Then by the knives. Okay, I need to calm down.

I walked away from the stove and sat down at the computer trying to decide if I should tell you this story. If I should admit that just a week before leaving for

Disneyland I am plotting the death of a mouse. So as I am sitting here at the computer typing this I am doing so without looking away from the stove. The

camera is on my lap in the on position.

Wait, why do I need the camera again? Do I think if I take its picture it will throw it’s little paws up in the air and say, “Oh, you got me! I will leave peacefully

and never come back.”?

I’m pretty sure the Nikon has a button on it that will run the toaster, but I don’t think it has a “KILL THE FUCKING MOUSE” button.

I’m going to Target to get some mouse traps!

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18
Mar
I don’t want to be popular…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I really should get off this damn computer and do something today. I can’t though. I’m caught here. It’s like my foot is caught in gum and I can’t get up until I

get the whole glob of it off my shoe.

I’m clicking again. I’m reading other people’s blogs. In “Other people’s blogs” I mean, people outside of my ring of blogs. You guys. Yes, i’m cheating on

you. I had to, I had to see what else is out there. I was wrong to even dare. I didn’t find anything. I DID find out that you guys are WAY better writers than some

of the people with those fancy-shmansy blogs with like 60 comments per post.

I don’t know if I have ever told you this…I love you. I love you for your crazy lives, your adorable pictures, your dogs, your funny husbands, your way cool

mom, your hockey team pictures of stunningly good looking men without shirts on, your references to your blog friends through random everyday items,

your bitchness, your understanding, your comments….I love you guys. I love my blog JUST the way it is.

I don’t want to be popular. I don’t want to have to buy bandwidth or get some fancy shmansy blog design. I don’t want a million comments. I would just feel

guilty if someone came to my blog and left a comment and I didn’t at least go look at their blog. I would feel bad if someone had me listed as a blog they

read, and I didn’t have them on mine. I like it just the way it is. See those links over there? See the ones I am going to add soon. I read those. I love those

blogs. AND why do I love those blogs over there to the right? Because they come here and read what I write, they comment, the come back and read some

more, they don’t always comment. I’m okay with that.

Here is your Friday Question:
How do you feel about your blog? Do you wish you had more readers? What would make your blog experience better (other than the suck-ass Blogger

problems) ?

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18
Mar
TGIF
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, Random


It’s Friday. Didn’t hear me? IT’S FRIDAY!

So I am being a bit cruel by posting the picture of that pizza huh? That was week one with the new camera and I was taking pictures of lint, gum on the

sidewalk, and well…dinner.
Now I just take pictures of bingo balls and break city codes.

It’s been a weird week. I have a bunch of stuff ra…

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! my soon to be 12 year old just had the MOST FUCKED UP MENTAL BREAK DOWN EVER RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME!
I think I saw hormone sparks FLY OUT OF HER ASS!

Her dad pulled up to pick her up and I yelled for them to go meet him outside and that they only have 5 minutes before the bell rings. Marina walks out and a

minute passes and Kara is still in the back of the house. I yell again, “KARA! YOUR DAD IS WAITING!”
She yells, “I’m putting on my shoes!”
ANOTHER minute passes and I yell again, she happens to be stomping down the hall way (12 year old stomp is WAY worse than 3 year old stomp, just for you

mom’s with little ones)

She stops in the intersection of the hallway to the kitchen and from a no crying normal stand, BURSTS into tears and STARTS JUMPING UP AND DOWN

WHILE YELLING INCOHERENT WORDS.

I was stunned into silence. Usually I am on top of shit like that. I mumbled, ‘stop’.

SHE THEN PULLED HER HAIR and GRUNTED.

If you pray, please keep me in your prayers.

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17
Mar
Ugh! Blogger you are SUCKING ASS!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I swear if I find a program that is cheap, doesn’t have banners or ads & is easy to use…i’m moving!

Did you hear that Blogger? I’M LOOKING!

I redid my layout. Like you couldn’t figure that one out on your own huh? I’m not a baby-blue type of person so when I saw the Label Maker I couldn’t resist. I

just changed a template I used on my sister’s blog.

I call this the, “Don’t Label Me” design.

If you didn’t notice, I added some links. I couldn’t add a few…but I promise I will. I want to add Plum’s weblog (how cool is she, she quoted The Dead

Milkmen!) Kalki and Butterstar and Cristin…and a few others.

Hope everyone had a good Happy St. Patty’s day.

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07
Apr
Do you have one?
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Everyone, this is my Auntie Shirley. This was my mom’s partner in crime for so many years. She was also the best auntie a little tomboy girl like me could

have ever asked for.

I have a million stories that involve “Aggie Naggie”, but the images of her are so much better than the stories.

She has this laughter…my GOD she could laugh. It wasn’t obnoxious and it wasn’t a ‘cute’ laugh, her laughter just filled you up. Hearing my mom and my

Auntie in the kitchen of her old, old home was like a song. They laughed together. You could hear them talking and then in unison they would begin laughing.

They harmonized. Laughter and continuing the joke and laughing even harder.

She is funny too. I can see why they laughed so much. My aunt has this sense of humor that complimented my mothers. They were both goofy and witty. They

had stories to tell us about being young and running wild. I listened to the stories and watched the videos they played on the wall. The would laugh at each

other and remember the time when…

My aunt was warm. When she hugged me it warmed me up. Our family is big on hugging and my aunt was no different. You know when you hug someone that

is really good at hugging you kind of just slide into a nook and the hug makes you wish everyone’s hug could feel this good? Yep, that was Aggie, she could

hug.

I haven’t seen my aunt in about a year. Mom sent me this picture yesterday and I just started laughing. My aunt was so cool. I know my kids are going to think

the same thing about my sister. They already think there is nothing she can’t do. I wonder if when they grow up they will remember all the times they heard

my mom, sister and I laughing and get the same warm fuzzies I do when I think of my Auntie.

I have two of these types of aunts, how about you?

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06
Apr
2 lists
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
First list: Things I should be doing:

1. My Ex’s final paper.
2. Finding The Fonz’s “I’m a bad ass with a gun” picture
3. Letting Shaun use the computer so he can work on his “Pope Idol” peice.

Second List: A list I stole from the Merry Widow:

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME (Name of first pet / Street where you live): Dumpy Duke

2. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant): Starbuck Mandango

3. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot): Salt Maui

4. “FLY GIRL/BOY” ALIAS (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name) :K-Sto

5. ICON ALIAS (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):Cotton Blossom Coke

6. DETECTIVE ALIAS (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School): Honey-Badger Enterprise

7. BARFLY ALIAS(Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink) : Mint Cookie Captain

8. SOAP OPERA ALIAS (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived: Louise Rt44

9. ROCK STAR ALIAS (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician): Reeses Green

10. YOUR STAR WARS NAME ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of

your mother’s maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in for your last name) : Krsto CoRed

Anything to avoid doing what I should be doing.

Shaun wants the computer. BYE!

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06
Apr
yes mother.
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
My mom-The Fonz called me awhile ago.
The conversation went something like this.

“I saw your blog!” (I know this. She reads it everyday…rain or shine…hip out or headache, she will read my blog)

“Yeah?” (I’m shoveling food into my mouth)

“What’cha eating?” She asks.

“Chicken.”

“Ooooooh I want some! My lips are watering!” (Yeah mom, I caught that and i’m blogging it!)

“Oh, Do me a favor K?” (Like she has to ask…the woman still gives me money) “Will you get those pictures of me and my gun? Hippo wants to see me with

my gun.” (What Hippo wants, Hippo gets apparently)

“I can’t find the disk…” (disappointed sigh from The Fonz) “…but don’t worry, I’ll find it and upload it for you.” (she does this cute excited, “OK!” and you

can’t help but smile when she does it)

“Oh, and another thing…” (Dear God, the conversation can go ANYWHERE with that closer.) “I can’t find Cat’s Blog. You need to add it to the list.”

“It’s there mom.”

“Uh, no it’s not.” (She gets sort of cocky sounding when she knows she’s right.) “Hippo, Sissy-Britches…HAHAHHAA….Pissy Britches! I can’t believe you

said FUCKFUCKFUCK on her blog! and you have everyone else, but no Cat.”

“Hmmm, you’re right.” (I have her as a toolbar link because Shaun and I check her about 10 times a day) “Okay, well -”

“Yeah, add her please.”

“Yes mother.”

I am my mother’s bitch. I do her blog bidding.

“I can’t play now, I have to go find pictures of my mother with her really big gun.”

****

I called mom to let her know that I added Cat to my list. I read her my blog and she laughed so hard i’m sure it threw her hip out.
I told her that I talked to Hippo on IM today and he asked me if she had ever used her gun to get us to do her bidding. I told him no that she liked cast iron

frying pans.
She laughed and the reminded me of a story of chasing the boys with a log when the started complaining about stacking the firewood. She laughed as she

said how she threw that wood like a football.
I told her, “Mom, you might want to be a bit more selective of the stories you tell me. “

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06
Apr
Learning Still….
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random

a girl and her dog

I realize there are things in life I will never be good at.

1. Keeping my bedroom clean.
2. Math.
3. Remembering to call people back.
4. Parallel parking.
&
5. Sports photography.

I want my pictures to tell a story. I want you to look at a picture and SEE what I am seeing.
I wanted you all to see my daughter stealing second base. I wanted you to see the frustration of girls fast pitch softball. I wanted you to see the humor of a

baseball game going on and the team of 12 and 13 year old girls talking to boys through a fence instead of watching & playing the game.
I captured ALL these pictures, but it just looks like a bunch of girls in matching uniforms.

In light of my latest discovery… I am going to be focusing on the pictures I CAN take.


My Muse




Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog!







I’m going to keep trying though.

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05
Apr
So much research…
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
Having four girls in one house has it’s challenges. We have managed in the past year to not run out of toilet paper, not run out of hair care products and not

kill each other. (But there are many years ahead of us)

I’m writing Dan’s final on alcohol poisoning. Shut up, I still do my ex-husbands homework…but he brings me Starbucks coffee in the morning so it’s a fair

trade.

While reading this I am shocked. I had no idea how serious it is. How easy it is to die from drinking.
Good thing I don’t drink like I use to. BUT, I have 5 kids in this house that someday will. I’m glad I’m at least reading up about this now.

I was reading Daphne’s Blog today and she mentioned ‘eating disorder’. This is something I want more information on. FOUR girls in this house that right

now seem okay, but someday might be faced with something like this.
I never had an eating disorder. I didn’t know there was a such thing as eating disorders when I was growing up. I had never even heard a single story until I

was in my middle twenties.

Anyone have any ‘warning signs’, stories, friends that overcame it, you overcame it? something that would be helpful for me to read?

*and thank whoever it was that had a link to daphne’s blog on their blog.

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04
Apr
Reason 143 why I love him
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


While at Disneyland we had ‘hopper’ passes to go to Disneyland California. While standing in line the kids were crawling all over the giant letters that spelled

“California”.

Shaun tells the kids to all gather around the “A” so he could get a picture.

They all found a spot and made the cheesy smiles. He took the picture. This one.

and then very loudly yelled, “KIDS, GET OUT OF THE A-HOLE!”

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03
Apr
trouble maker!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun


I wanted to blog about something else, but I just can’t get over The April Fools Joke Gone Wrong.
What am I talking about?
Everyone that reads my blog and knows my local hang-outs knows that I love Cat’s blog. She’s awesome. She give us our weekly dose of American Idol and

lately she’s been ‘oohing and ahwwing’ over Constantine. He is her greek god.
Everyone that eKnows me knows that Shaun makes fun of me, Kathy, my Mom-The Fonz..and well just about everyone. It’s funny. It’s funny when he puts my

mom’s head on The Fonz or after Kathy posts about a dream about Robin Williams he makes a poster of her and her new ‘love’. It’s all just fun and games.
April 1st is his favorite day of the year. He has ‘gotten’ everyone he knows. There is a great story about the year he got his dad with a fake phone number, but I

won’t go into that. His dad would kill me if I repeated that story!
This year he didn’t really ‘get’ to ‘get’ anyone, but he was inspired a post that Cat had made on her site about Blinky having a arrest charge from the past.
I was at Bingo so I missed how he had spent hours trying to make sure that it looked real enough so Cat would freak out for a few seconds.
Shaun doesn’t really know much about computers and when I start talking geek he sort of just tunes out. He paid attention the night we were working on the

design of my blog and how I had to remove certain things to get things to fit. I had found a ‘Yahoo’ template from blog-templates on blogger and I mentioned

how cool it would be to have it as my template, but he said I would soon get bored of it. I had saved the page just in case later I changed my mind.
Shaun changing a template would be like me asking him to rewire the space shuttle. Somehow he managed to do it though. The ‘fake’ story fit PERFECTLY

with the design someone had made and he posted it. It took him all night, but the thought of Cat opening that page and reading about her greek god possibly

being removed from American Idol would be well worth the night of playing ‘geek’.
It worked! Cat was April Fooled.
We all got a giggle out of it.
Apparently Cat isn’t the only one who saw it.
People FREAKED THE FUCK OUT.

Now I’m sitting here thinking about if this actually goes somewhere.

If only they could see this ‘horrible, malicious, asshole’. This is the guy who spends his days taking care of people in need. Coming home and taking care of

5 kids (and me) and his nightly routine of dinner, helping with homework, running kids to dentists, softball practice and managing to find time to watch his

two favorite shows. 24 and American Idol.

It’s weird how people take things out of context and go on attack mode. Yeah, he made a joke about Cat’s greek god that wasn’t sposta be seen by anyone

outside of his 5 readers (four of which are my family)

I know there is a million other things out there on the internet that are MUCH worse, things so bad that I can’t even fit them into my head. I also know there are

‘rumors’ and ‘hoaxs’ out there (William Hung dying of an overdose, Napoleon dynamite dying in car crash, Michael Jackson molesting children – oh wait…

sorry) but it’s just weird to see how some people respond to a joke. I never in a million years would have expected people outside of our little group to see the

April Fools joke. I certainly wouldn’t have thought that people would have FREAKED THE FUCK out about it either.

So, I guess the moral of this post; Watch what you’re writing because you never know if you’re going to end up on a forum, a website, a message board, the

nightly news.

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01
Apr
an attempt at changing the subject completely
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


My mom-The Fonz, sent me some pictures yesterday. This was one of them. I chose to upload this ONE picture because it’s me (#7) at the gate with my fellow

racers. All the other ones of me ALL alone…somewhere in the far back…struggling.

Yes, I raced BMX. I had a GT with Haro wheels and a Gooseneck. I was stylin’. I also really sucked, but then again there were never any girls racing and I

always had to race against boys.

I had NINE 3rd place trophies. At the time it seemed to suck. Second place would have been great. I can’t even imagine what first place would have felt like.

Now though, looking back. I should have been more proud of myself.
I wish I could find the picture of my dad and I after I won my first trophy.
(as I was writing that last line I remembered my sister made me a photo album of all my younger pictures…and I found it…and I cried when I did)



That’s my dad. He was so proud of me.

I loved that time in my childhood. It was fun. It was me, mom & dad and my bike.
It was fun, huh mom?

My mom was the coolest. She would sit in the back of the pickup truck in a lawn chair and big ass cowboy hat and whistle louder than anyone I’ve ever

known. Even with the helmet on, the yelling and the rowdy redneck crowd, I could hear my mom whistle.

Now I guess that was mom’s way of saying, ‘Get ‘er Done!’

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31
Mar
I was wrong. I’m sorry.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: ex, Random
This has been a long time coming.
I tried to write this awhile ago, but it kept coming out wrong and will probably come out wrong again.
There really is no way to write what I am going to write and come out looking good.

About 5 years ago I hurt every single person I knew. It’s hard to type that and not tear up.

I wasn’t happy in my marriage. I had not been happy for a few years. I stayed because the thought of my daughters saying that their parents were ‘divorced’

scared the shit out of me. I came from a two parent household. I had mom and dad and my brothers and sisters. There was some other guy my mom was

married to when she was really young and there was a story attached to it, but in my eyes…growing up…I had a real family. I was going to give my daughters

exactly that.
That’s not really the whole story. The whole story was I was scared to death. I was relatively young, had no education and no hopes of really being anyone that

would be able to take care of all these babies.I could go on about the fear and anxiety of even THINKING about leaving caused me, but I won’t. We all know

how it feels to be trapped.

I loved my ex-husband. I probably always will. He gave me three reasons for getting up every morning. He made me someone. I hated my ex-husband too. He

lied to me over and over again about everything. He was a professional liar. I believed the lies for a very long time. Then one day, I realized just because I

don’t have a high school diploma doesn’t mean I don’t have ‘gut feelings’. I started listening to those gut feelings and I following up on them. I became a

professional spy.

I really got into it too. They started out as little things I could figure out. Time management wasn’t one of his better qualities.
Calculating in my head how long it would take to get from where he said he was to home became my mission in life.
I have it down to an art form now. If he says he will be here in 15 minutes, I ask where he is and with that information I can calculate how long it will really take

him. Being horrible with time doesn’t make someone a liar. Lying about where you are to start with is what makes you a liar. Lying about ever other detail

from financial to personal in your life is what makes you a liar. I found out everything.

This isn’t about him, it’s about what I became. My ‘gut feelings’ began to rule my life. I kept it all a secret though because no one that knew him would believe

me. There is NO POSSIBLE way that man could be doing the things my gut was telling me.
If you were a part of my life you saw the little things. You knew what I was talking about. For those of you that saw this couple from the outside, you had NO

clue what was going on inside.

I had Alyx and Shea back to back. I don’t regret it, but my body just wasn’t ready to be pregnant so soon. After Shea was born I had a serious case of

postpartum depression. In ‘serious’ I mean I should have been hospitalized. I was a happy mom. I did all the happy mom things. Inside I was freaking out.

Along with being a mom to two little babies and Kara, I was dealing with bills, lies, school, car seats….I finally snapped. It was my neighbor who actually

looked me in the eye and said, “You need help, you need to get on something. You have postpartum depression.” I had not even calculated that in my head

until he said it. It made sense and I went to the doctor to get pills. The pills didn’t work, they made it worse. I went on some sort of patch thing and that made

things normal again. I could sit on the couch and be a normal person…until the power got shut off.

During my pregnancy and the horrible months after I couldn’t deal with money. I use to be a freak about money. I would put every single cent in the bank,

calculate my checkbook to the last penny. Check my account about 4 times a day. I knew exactly how much I had to ‘play’ with and how much I needed to

make my payments with. Then something snapped inside of me during those freak out moments and I just stopped. I couldn’t even think about writing a

check. I had my ex take over the bills until I got better.

I was sitting on the couch and the power got shut off. I called PG&E to get the power restored because clearly it was a mistake on their part. I was wrong.
The PG&E bill had not been paid in 6 months. How it stayed on this long was a miracle. I found a box…a large box of bills that had not even been opened. I

had some help getting all the bills in order and figuring out how much we owed. It wasn’t good. He had not paid anything. My depression, anger and

frustration reared it’s ugly head and I think it was somewhere around this time I lost my mind.

Most people would have gone to the doctor. I went to Las Vegas.

Before we left (‘we’ being mom, kathy and i) I went up to have Kathy do my hair. In the process of being up there I heard an old co-worker on the radio. I called

him up and we ‘chatted’. It was nice to catch up with an old friend and we exchanged email addresses and said our goodbyes.

I was gone for almost a week. Something really shitty happened in Vegas concerning some money issues that pushed me over the edge. I came back

refreshed and set to make some changes.
I checked my email and there was an email from my old co-worker. That was the door.
I emailed him back. That was the walking through the door.
I started to finally feel alive.
That is when I think I lost my mind completely.
Oh the joy of feeling alive again. I can still feel that tingle. I was high on life. I couldn’t eat or sleep. All over a few emails and some secret online chatting.
I didn’t think it would go anywhere. I just enjoyed someone talking to me, someone listening to me, someone telling me they thought I was smart and

beautiful. Someone to justify my anger and frustration.
Besides, it’s not like I was really doing anything…I was just chatting with him.

That was about 5 years ago that I hurt every single person I knew. I left my husband.

He trusted me. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t trust him anymore. I didn’t believe anything he said to me because 90% of the time it was a lie I would catch him

anyway. It didn’t matter that he never cheated on me while we were married (even though he did before we were…and of course lied for ten years about it) He

trusted me, because I never gave him a reason not to. I hurt him. I didn’t care either. It was actually gratifying to see him in as much pain as I was in for all

those years of lies. I was finally released from having to lie for him to cover up a lie he said to someone else. It was nice not to feel embarrassed when he was

caught by someone other than me. I didn’t need to ever have to be a super sleuth again. I was done.

The ‘not feeling guilty’ thing caught up with me though. It always does. I had a freak out attack about a month later.

I didn’t think that all the things I had dealt with during my marriage would effect my relationships in the future. I was wrong.I was pretty sure that every single

person I knew was lying to me about something.

I remember one night about a year after I left my ex, I got mad at the old co-worker that I was involved with because I was sure he was lying to me about

something. He looked me in the eye and asked me why I was mad at him. I said, “Because if you loved me you would lie to me!”
It was like hitting a wall at a hundred miles an hour.
I marched that comment right into my therapist and said, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?”
I was nicely asked about what was said when I confronted my ex about the lies.

“I love you honey. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I just didn’t tell you because I love you.”
That’s what he said first.
“I didn’t want you to get mad at me.”
That was the second.
“I didn’t want to hear you bitching about it.”
That was the third.
“Honey, I love you. I will always love you. I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t want you to get mad. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

I was told over and over for years and years that he lied to me because he loves me. I was going to have to learn a healthy relationship. My attempt at a

‘healthy’ relationship was to say, “Fuck it. If you don’t like what you see or I don’t like you…keep on steppin’”

I drove the old co-worker I was with away for many reasons. The main one was that I was done having kids and I knew he wanted some of his own. He would

have stayed with me. I couldn’t live with killing off his family name because I wouldn’t have any more children. Oh, and he was also paranoid and anxiety

ridden and drove me to drinking and smoking 2 packs a day. That’s really all beside the point though.

The next ‘real’ relationship I was in was good. I say ‘real’ because I respected him. He lasted for more than a couple weeks and when I gave him that, “Don’t

like it…keep steppin” thing I had gotten so good at, he just looked at me and laughed. He laughed at me. HE LAUGHED. He also sat my ass down and told me

to grow up. He also showed me what it was like to trust again. He showed me what ‘healthy’ felt like. It was the first mature relationship I ever had. It wasn’t the

‘dreamy’ kind of love, but damn it I totally respected that. I knew why we were together. We were together to heal each other. It wasn’t going to be a life long

relationship and we both knew it. Honest, real and nothing hidden. I loved that. I needed that. When our relationship ended I was balanced. I knew I was going

to be okay. I had left all that shit behind me and I was ready to start fresh.

For those of you that know me, you’re laughing your asses off right now because you know the next two or three people that came into my life. This point in

my life was like getting out of rehab, being clean and ready to settle down and something happens and you become a drug dealer. You didn’t expect it to

happen, but you find yourself WORSE than when you got help.

I took all the skills I learned in my marriage, all the dreamy things I learned from co-worker, all the mature behavior I learned and I became…a ‘player’. I was

good too. I was REALLY good, because you didn’t expect it from me. I think the best part about it was that I finally got to ‘not give a shit’ what the other

person thought. I didn’t care if it would last or end.

Then I met Shaun.

I had perfected not giving a shit, not caring what other people did when I wasn’t looking or what someone had said about me. I think at that point I had

experienced the worse, heard the worse and managed to live through it. There really isn’t anything more you can do to me to throw me through a loop.

Except me falling in love with that person.

I thought all the things I had been through had taught me a lesson. I was wrong. I’m even more afraid of the things that happened in my past happening

again. I hate that person I became when I was married. I hated questioning everything, but I’m glad I did because I found out what was being hidden and it

made me make the choices that I made.

These things are still effecting my relationships. I’m trying to work through them. I don’t relate lying to love anymore. I don’t think that people are always

lying to me. I finally give a shit what is going to happen in the future. I hated that person I became. I don’t want to be that person, but I also hate more than

anything is wondering if I am being stupid and not. If I am not seeing the big picture.

It’s human nature. I understand that. I am using up emotional energy that doesn’t need to be used up. I know this. I’m sorry.

I haven’t quite learned how to trust yet. I thought I had.

I was wrong.

My name is Kristine, I don’t know how to trust. Where do I go now?

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30
Mar
You know what?…Damn it all…BOOB HAIR!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Yes, you heard me. BOOB HAIR.
I haven’t talked about BOOB HAIR because it’s not just something you want to talk about. I want to talk about it. This is my blog and if you don’t like BOOB

HAIR then don’t read it.

I have boob hair. It’s like 3 dark hairs that make an appearance every so often. Pluck or Shave? That is the question.

I also have a hair that grows staight out of my forehead. My sister finds it funny to pluck it out REALLY hard like.

She’s not allowed to go near my boobs.

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13
Apr
I left the house today!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Everyone start cheering…I left the house today. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY! Right smack dab in the middle of the day. Walked right out and left.

For those of you that are just learning about me, -whispering-I’m not real big on leaving the house during certain hours because of certain anxiety attacks that

I’m not going to talk about because they might hear me -/whispering-

I told my girlfriend about “Project Gett’r Done” and in ‘doin’ her part’ she decided to take me to the nursery. IT WAS GREAT! I asked questions about what to

with the slope in the backyard and what types of plants grow in certain- yeah, it was more exciting than I am making it sound. I brought in TBAMF (The Bad-

Ass Mutha Fucka aka D70) and took some pictures so I could get an idea of what I wanted.

NOTE: I don’t like roses, but damn they sure are pretty!

I really like this:


They smell fabulous! (yes, I just used the word ‘fabulous’)

We then went and checked out the model homes up the street. I found one house that I liked. I don’t like the 800,000 price tag though. The master bathroom

was the size of my master bedroom.
A little bit of elbow grease and some windex and this house will be just as nice as those ones.
-whisper- I lie -/whisper-

Anyway, the good news is…I left the house today. I didn’t have a panic attack. I enjoyed the smell of the flowers and I took lots of pictures. I had a nice

conversation with two older gentlemen about my camera. He had about 400 questions and I couldn’t answer 399 of them. The one question I could answer and

I just said, “It was UH-LOT.”



Camera: UH-LOT
Trip to nursery: Free
Enjoying being outside & with my friend-panic free: PRICELESS!

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13
Apr
I’m telling you this story, to tell you another one.
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random

Michael, *Kirstine, Barry, Kathy, Jerry & The Fonz

The Fonz has 5 kids. Kathy, Jerry, Barry, Michael and Me (her favorite).

She had Kathy in April, Jerry in April, Barry (should have been in April) in February, Michael in April, and me in March. (What this says for her sex life, I don’t

even want to think about *gag*)
Needless to say, April is a birthday month. Not only are 3 of my siblings in April, there is Kathy’s son who turns 25 this year (Yes, that woman has a twenty-

FIVE year old).
You’re going to be reading a lot of Happy Birthday posts so I better get you all up to speed on us.

So, Fonz’s kids…

I thought we were all pretty different until I rolled into my twenties. I figured out that all of us have the same sense of humor. You can put us in a room

together for days and we won’t kill each other. I think. I’m pretty sure. No, Kathy would kill us.

Kathy: You all know her already. What’s not to love about this woman? She has these truly amazing friends in her life. I have always been envious of her

friendships because her friends REALLY love her to death. If you get to know my sister, you want her to be your best friend.

Jerry: This man can smile. His smile makes you smile. He’s so laid back and cool all the time. He’s a 17 year old stud in a 40-something year old body. He

still thinks he’s a stud. Shit, who am I kidding…he is a stud. He has a look about him that makes you always ask, “What?” He’ll just laugh a little and say,

“What? Nothing.” all innocent like. He’s a hugger. I love my brother SOOOO much. I love his voice and laugher. I love that I can call him and talk shit and he

will just laugh at me and talk shit right back. He loves me too. I’m his baby sister.

Barry: Poop head. *pause* didn’t hear me? POOP-HEAD. I’m not in the mood to say anything nice right at this moment about this person that ignores his

baby sister. He calls EVERYONE else, but not me. What does he think? He think I’m going to talk about Boob hair or something?
POOP.HEAD. and I will think of something nice to say about him later.

Michael….this is where the post was headed. His birthday is in 8 days. I have been thinking about what I am going to write about him.
This is the brother that every older brother should be. He was obnoxious, mean and terrorized the living shit out of me. He also stuck up for me. I was going

to save this for his birthday, but I can’t….He wrote me an email several years back. I don’t have it anymore, I printed it though.

He said, “It was your first day of school. I dropped you off at your class and watched you go in. I was afraid for you because you cried for three solid days

before you started school. I was in another playground, but the fence between your playground and mine wasn’t far from where my classroom was. I love you

Kristine, you will always be my baby sister, that little girl that was so afraid to be alone. I will always be your big brother, the boy that made sure you were safe

and never alone.”

It never seemed like it at the time, but he was always there. When it mattered, he told me the truth. He lied to me when I needed to be lied to. He yelled and told

on me when I was being bad.
I never ever felt like my brother didn’t like me. He did a pretty good job.

Let’s see how the next 30 years go, Fish.

* I’m still a little bit butt-hurt about my own mother mis-spelling my name!

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12
Apr
Hey Shaun!!!!!!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random

Double Ply, not the cheap stuff.

Pick some up on the way home, please. The paper towels are chaffing.

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12
Apr
111331980962140663
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random




In my house, I have both of these pictures framed. They are side by side. I look at the picture of me and Kathy. I look at the picture of Alyx and Shea.
I wonder if they will always be friends. I wonder if they will be as close as we are. I wonder if they will love each other forever like I love Kathy.

Because right now…at this very minute…Alyx is screaming at Shea that if she touches one her Polly Pockets ever again she will not live to see another day.

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11
Apr
A MUST READ!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
I found this blog the other day and I have been laughing for two days.

Stuck in Rehab with Pat O’Brien

Anyone else have a “MUST READ” blog that you read everyday without fail?

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11
Apr
I don’t get out much anymore…
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I went in the backyard today. It wasn’t pretty. It’s time to change.

Go check out: PROJECT GETT’R DONE

I am going to need all the help I can get.

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11
Apr
111319798851285251
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random

Auburn Courthouse

Shaun and I went on an adventure today. We drove up to Auburn to walk around old town and get some pictures of the courthouse. I mean, it’s been almost a

month since I have gotten in trouble for taking pictures…it was about time to get back on the horse.

Screw City Codes, I want to take pictures!

I’ll admit it. When I take the camera out of the bag I can hear angels sing. I also start humming, “Have I told you lately that I love you.”
Yes, it was a hell of a lot of money to spend, but I am happier now that I have it.
I see the beautiful in the strangest things.



I finally have an outlet for the random things that I think are beautiful. I want to take a million pictures all the time, but I am a bit scared of the, “EXCUSE ME!

What are you taking pictures of in here!” comments.



I want to leave the house. I want to grab my camera bag and see what I can find. This is a good for someone who has anxiety attacks and has a slight case of

agoraphobia.
I’m happier. That camera completes me. (the new lens and filters would REALLY complete me, but i’m not pushing it)



I even let Shaun play with the camera today. Of course I kept finding cool things I wanted to take pictures of while he was off taking pictures. I just walked

around and enjoyed the view. When I got home and downloaded the pictures and I saw the pictures he took, I was so impressed. He took the one of the rocks

and a bunch of other ones that came out great.



We stopped at the restaurant across from the courthouse and I had an ice tea.
It was warm out, and so very beautiful. It was a good day to get out of the house and pretend to be normal :)



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10
Apr
So how lame am I? or better question; How lazy am I?
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I checked my mail yesterday. I had stuff in there from BEFORE we left for Disneyland! Shaun said he had to fight and verbally abuse the mailbox for it to let go

of the mail that was crammed in there.

In the pile of 400 bills & buttloads of junk mail I found a birthday card from Sissychong! Thank you Sissy!! I loved it. It made me feel like it was my birthday

all over again.
ANNNNNND…I got my blog exchange pressie!!
Mrs. Strizzay sent me a NY shirt !!! I totally wanted to put it on and take a picture, but I really look like shit today so I am going to hold off on that until I get the

energy to do my hair and makeup.

Shaun fixed his blog masthead & worked on Pissy Britches masthead (why does that sound so kinky?)

I did two loads of laundry & went to my daughter’s softball game. WE WON! (shhh, we kicked ass. shhhh)

We are up to ALMOST ten dollars on our Google Ad sense for March of Dimes.

I updated the template for Alyx’s story blog. Her best friend is her main character in this story and she is ‘The Fastest Girl In 2nd Grade”
Alyx tells me how she wants the story to go and I write it for her. She tells me what she likes and doesn’t like and I edit it and we keep doing that until it’s

exactly the way she wants it.
She wants to write stories when she gets older. Yay for my little author!!

I also played around with a template I thought was pretty cool. I’m not sure how much I will do with it, but it was fun making the background and stuff: The

Uncommon Couple.

YES PEOPLE…I AM BORED!

If you want me to fix your blog, just send me an email: randomandodd@gmail.com (oh, I have about a million gmail invites if you want one..or two)

Okay, going to go work on Cat’s new template.

** I took people off my ‘blogs i read’ list. I always feel guilty when I do that.
DEFENSE: They don’t read my blog anymore, or if they do they are too good to comment. YOU guys take the time to log in and say something and YOU

deserve to be over there. Not that this is a popularity contest, but when I log on and start my blog reading, I go down that list and the names that I see in my

comments are the ones I want to get to and read.

Okay, that’s all for today. Going to go watch the Kings game and take some pictures.

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09
Apr
Sugar and Spice?
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Last night in between bingo sessions, my friend and I were coming up with ways to keep ourselves from falling asleep. We played M.A.S.H.

This morning I was telling Shaun, “We played M.A.S.H. during half-time.”
He looked at me weird. “You played M*A*S*H*? like the the tv show?”
“No.” I explained, “Mansion, Apartment, Shack and House”
He didn’t get it.

I tried to explain that is what little girls did around 11 &12 years old (and sometimes when they are 33 years old and really bored). They pick husbands, cars,

places to live, number of children and that’s M.A.S.H.
He still didn’t get it.

I guess that’s why I get to wear nail polish, smell good perfume and high heels. I played M.A.S.H when I was a little girl.

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08
Apr
I can breath….
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
It’s been a rough couple of days for this girl.
The anxiety attacks are hitting hard and all I can pray for is this month to hurry up and be over.

This month is always rough. Kathy (Dashababy) is having a birthday. Shesh, who am I kidding…is there ANYONE in my family that isn’t having a birthday?

I’m keeping my mind off of the attacks that make me pretty much useless to the world. I have been working on Shaun’s Blog. I hated the lay out of his old

one, and not that this one is much different. It has all his info on the right instead of at the bottom because he insists on having huge ass pictures that fuck

up the coding on his site.

Next is Cat. I showed her some template pages and I think I lost her. I think she is buried in URL hell right now. I hope she comes back to me soon.

I did Alyx’s story site. She thinks up stories and I write them for her. Her muse is her best friend and the things that happen to them at school.

That’s pretty much it. The kids go to the other parents this weekend. OUR FREE WEEKEND THIS MONTH!! Shaun and I get one of these a month. We usually

do laundry and watch the stuff we TiVOed. I know, we are too exciting huh?

Everyone…have a great weekend. THAT IS AN ORDER!

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20
Apr
ten whole days
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random, shea


Today marks the ten whole days my little girl hasn’t had an accident at night.
A life without pull-ups? could I be asking to much?
I know, I know…I have two girls about ready to start their periods so it’s not like I have a life without absorbency issues.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. I’m still working through it. I seem to have a better handle on it this go around.

Shaun made me laugh today as we were watching a commercial for Eharmony. The old guy was talking about how you get to know someone from the very

start.
He said, “Dear God, who wants to get to know someone from the very beginning? Can you have a few emails where you think the other person is somewhat

normal?”
I laughed and remembered back to when we met. Somehow we managed to avoid the “look over here so you don’t see how horrible THIS part of my life

looks” phase.
He said; imagine if the online ads actually reflected the real us:
“Hey, i’m a guy with a sinus problem looking for a woman with anxiety attacks! Oh man, I can’t believe I found her!”
and then he pulled me in as close as he could with his sore neck and I cuddled up as close as I could without burning him with my heating pad.

I was inspired today. I was reading a blog and I was inspired.
I have been kicking around this idea for about a year and I never called to follow up on it.

Today I did.

I called the local senior citizen apartments and I left a message with the lady who runs shit there (i’m sure she has an official title)
“I want to give up some of my time helping out the people there that have computer questions. I want to teach them how to use the internet. If they have any

questions I want them to call and if I can I will come over and help them out. I’m not charging anything, I just want to help.”
The woman was so excited because the older people there call her on a weekly basis and ask her questions she doesn’t know the answers to.
I got a call tonight and it was from an older woman who wants to know how to save pictures that she gets in emails.
I told her I could help her, but she said she has doctor appointments every day next week. I’m going to go over next week and help her out.

I’m getting out of the house. I’m talking to people. I’m going to get to teach people how to connect and I just know she’s going to teach me something I didn’t

know either. I can’t afford therapy, but I have a feeling this is going to heal me in ways a doctor and medicine never could.

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19
Apr
51 Random Things…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
At the old place I called home and stored all my random and oddities, I had this: 51 Random Things About Me.
I wrote it FOR-ever! ago. If I remember correctly, it took me a shitload of time to write it too. It’s not easy writing 51 random things about yourself…go

ahead…try it.

51 R A N D O M AND O D D THINGS A B O U T me

1. i’m not like everyone else. i’m sure you figured that out already though.

2. i use to collect watches. i never wore them though. i still don’t.

3. i believe that everything needs to be fair. even though sometimes i have a tendency to say, ‘life’s not fair.’ to my kids.

4. i’m ALWAYS misunderstood. i mean, it doesn’t matter what i say, someone will screw it up and i get knee deep in shit for it. i swear, nothing pisses me off

more. oh wait…go on to five.

5. i hate it when someone has a problem with me and goes to other people about it. i mean, if you have a damn problem with something i did or said, come to

me. it makes me want to scream when i hear second hand about someone being mad at me for something random.

6. i gave birth to three little girls. not at the same time though.

7. i hate drama. not the movie type, but the actual real thing. i love good gossip every now and again, but leave your drama at home.

8. i drink rootbeer when i’m sad.

9. my mom and sister are my bestest friends in the whole wide world.

10. i own too many pairs of shoes. if i had more shoes i might be happier though.

11. i’m a scuba-diver. i don’t like cold water scuba diving. i’m too poor to go to maui and do the kind of scuba diving i love.

12. i can sleep in my bra.

13. this is my favorite number.

14. my theory is; i’m not paying back my student loan until i get a job that requires the use of my degree.

15. i believe in god. i love church, but i hate the people that go to church on Sunday and then can be mean, evil and hypocritical all week long. i don’t want to

be that person so i talk to god at home. sometimes he talks back.

16. one of these days i will be free.

17. my favorite football team is the raiders. i wear the kickers jersey.

18. i’m pretty sure the world will come crashing in the day my mom dies. i won’t be able to get up every morning knowing she isn’t there anymore. outside of

my kids and my sister i don’t think anyone else dieing will completely devastate me like that.

19. i can’t eat fish, it makes me sick.

20. if you’re my friend, i will love you and cherish you forever.

21. i bite.

22. wednesday night is karaoke at the Tree. i use to go every wednesday. i didn’t sing on wednesdays though unless i had lots to drink, and wednesday isn’t

the best day to drink.

23. i didn’t have a storybook childhood, but i don’t blame everything that happens in my life on the shit that happened when i lived in the red house.

24. i wanted to be a dallas cowboy cheerleader when i was little.

25. i don’t have a favorite color. if you gave me multiple choice i could pick a color for you though.

26. i use to collect divorced men. i had a nice collection going for awhile, but they all turned on me and found normal girlfriends.

27. my baby toe has the stupidest small nail you will ever see.

28. i love tony soprano.

29. my cars have always had names.

30. i hate mean people. i really do. i mean HATE them with a passion. they annoy me to no end. why do people have to get all mean and nasty with other

people? i just want everyone to get along and quit the bickering!

31. sky-diving is NOT on my list of things to do.

32. french-irish-indian. what were my parents thinking?

33. my mom and dad are divorced. wow, i have never typed that before. they were good together and they are good without each other. i was a child a two

parent household growing up. well, sort of. my dad worked out of town and was home on the weekends. my mom did most of the raising. my dad is cool and i

love him to pieces.

34. i have ex boyfriends who live in: Texas, Utah, Washington & Canada. it’s so much easier to tell the girls that they moved, then that mommy got sick of

hearing the sound of their voice.

35. martin luther king jr. wrote a letter that moved me more than anything else i have ever read.

36. i fell asleep at a grateful dead concert.

37. ethan thompson was my first. sorry mom, i know you wished it was someone better, but hey…here’s to things only getting better.

38. i’ve never met anyone stronger, smarter and more fair than my friend lisa.

39. i’m not a bitch. i always wanted to be one, but i’m not.

40. $80 was spent in beer so i could win a game of pool. it was so worth it.

41. Cucina Biazzi’s is the best restaurant ever. it’s in Ashland, Or. Alice Moorehouse was the cook that night. i don’t know why i remember that, but i do. i

cried it was so good.

42. i always get what i want, even though it never works out the way i want it too.

43. captain. jack. jim. each were great boyfriends at one time. jim was fun. jack was fun too, i just don’t remember much of it. captain and i get along great if i

don’t get into his face too much.

44. i like little pieces of ice i can chew on.

45. bugs opera is a stupid game i have to play every night before i go to bed.

46. i live in a house. the house is located in a ritzy part of town. i’m broke as hell.

47. i hate fung shei (or however you spell it)

48. my favorite movie for a long time was “Real Genius”.

49. i’m scared a lot of the time. i just never tell anyone.

50. al green is my favorite singer. i want to see him sing live before i die….or he dies.

51. sometimes when i get sad i listen to van morrison. it doesn’t make me feel better but it gives me hope that there is a bright side of the road.

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19
Apr
Medicated Blogging…everyone is doing it!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


This pretty much sums up my house right now.

On Sunday I woke up and my neck was jacked up. I couldn’t look right without shooting pain going straight to my brain!

On Monday Shaun took Marina to the doctor because over the weekend she slipped and hurt her arm/wrist. We found out that it was more than just ‘hurt’…it

was broke…It’s not like the double bone break Alyx had in the middle of her arm, but it’s bad enough that they need to put a cast on it to make sure it heals

up all right.
Somewhere in the middle of the trip he jacked up his neck…looking left.

One can’t look right, One can’t look left. Our kids could totally get away with anything right now, except for the fact that one of them has a broken arm and the

other one is a magnet for basketballs to the head.

Right now I am not medicated.

On a completely different page. Dooce. Dear God, I aint sayin’ a damn word in fear of being attacked. Shaun was already attacked by a mob of angry

Constantine supporters over a joke. I am not going to write something because I KNOW that it will be taken ALL wrong. I like reading Dooce. I think she’s

funny. I think she has balls to say the things that I wish I could say. (Except for the pooping in the bathtub. I had better be dead when they find me like that.)
I have found in my short amount of time of blogging that there are many other blogs that are just as funny and just as ‘open’.
There is something that I want to touch on when it comes to Dooce. She has managed to survive this long with daily ‘ehatred’ and she hasn’t let it take over

her blog. She does on some occations get spiteful and show her readers an email, but honestly if I got even ONE of the many emails she gets I would freak

the fuck out and share it with you all and say, “WHAT? WHY? HUH? I DID WHAT?” and I would dwell on it for a good day or two. I would cry on Shaun’s

shoulder and ask him why people think I am a horrible mother, bad daughter and despicable girlfriend. He would rub my head and then he would make love

to me for hours to make me forget….. someone QUICK! SEND ME SOME HATE MAIL!

All kidding aside, she puts up with a lot, she gets a lot out of it in return.

There are other blogs out there that have been personally attacked and it’s showing. Even in the innocent posts about little bobby taking their first steps you

can read the hatred he or she is already spewing towards the first person that dare says something bad about those first steps. Every other post is dedicated

to chewing out the bastard that sent hate mail or left a nasty comment. Those are the posts that get the most comments of course because people are ‘rallying

around’ that person and convincing them to ‘ stick it out ‘.

Like I pointed out before, Dooce gets it everyday and I admire that she doesn’t let it show in every post. Maybe she’s a duck and can let it roll off her back.

More power to her. I admire that.

and yes, the comment section was starting to suck, it’s probably a good thing that she turned it off for a few days. I actually cleaned half my room

yesterday…but that could have been from the Vicoden.

Happy Blogging people!

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18
Apr
Happy Birthday Pauly Wog!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


This is Kathy’s (Dashababy…mom’s second favorite) son.

He turns 25 tomorrow. This is how I will ALWAYS see him. He will always be this little boy that was more like my little brother than my nephew.

***
Yes Mom, I called Michael and wished him a ‘real’ happy birthday.

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18
Apr
Happy Birthday
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


happy birthday brother. i love you.

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16
Apr
Sweet & Sour
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Kara won her game today!



and Shea had fun at her friend’s birthday party.

Sweet little Saturday.

I had 1 HUGE anxiety attack. This was the kind with the chest pain & spinning head. I lived.

I called the D70 ‘our camera’ today. I choked after it came out and then thought about it. Until there is a ring on my finger and some papers signed…that is MY

camera. If he ever took me to court for the house or visitation of the kids I would give it to him without question…but the camera…MINE. The term “over my

dead body” keeps coming to mind.

I bought a new ring for myself today. Some people like expensive purses, designer shoes, diamond earrings or fancy cars.
I loves me some Ross $9.99 rings.

Random Letter:

Dear lady in Target,

Don’t wear a red polo, khaki pants into Target and get uptight when I ask you where I can find crock pot lids and rubber glue. I THOUGHT YOU WORKED

THERE!

Your fellow Target Shopper,
Kristine

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15
Apr
Blogging takes a U turn this morning.
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


For those of you that know me, know that I can not drive downtown. It it says, “ONE WAY” I will still find a way to get lost on that street.

( I just heard my 8 year old tell my 6 year old, “Pull the underwear out of the crack of your butt Shea! You look like you’re wearing a thong and I do not need

to see your butt shaking as you walk away!” and then the 6 year old pulled the underwear up further and shook what God gave her. Dear God, please don’t let

her grow up to be one of “those” types of girls!)

Where was I? Oh yeah…me driving downtown. *rolling eyes* just imagine someone with a minivan, anxiety attacks, lack of directions and three girls in the van

with me that KNOW this and using it against me…downtown. Numbers and Letters and that just happens to be where all the freeways come together and I have

no idea which one connects to what. I could end up anywhere once I get ‘downtown’.

(The 6 year old is singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of her lungs. Shaun, I blame THAT one on you!)

Anyway…DEAR GOD IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BLOG THIS STORY WITH HER SINGING LIKE THAT!
Where did she learn to be so damn dramatic? She is now singing “I can’t find my shoes, find my shoes, can’t find my DANG shoes…FIRE BOLT OF

LIGHTING!” in the styles of Freddie Mercury.

So yeah, their dad graduated. we went. I didn’t get lost. SHE WONT STOP WITH THE SINGING! I wish you could hear this! She is taking the words to BR and

making up her own getting ready for school song!!

The 8 year old is pacing back and forth like rainman about being late for school and having allergies and hating Friday lunch.

IS IT OUR FREE WEEKEND? Nope. This weekend is Projects, Softballs and birthday parties.

What was I talking about? I forgot. Dear Lord. Is it Friday yet???

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14
Apr
Puzzle People Dot Com
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I rode the school bus today with 19 singing children for 45 minutes. Both ways. They chanted more than they sang.

“2! 4! 6! 8!” and those kids appreciate EVERYONE. I don’t remember being allowed to cheer at the top of my lungs on a bus.

They did sing, “The Wheels on the bus…” which of course threw me into a panic attack knowing I would have THAT song stuck in my head for the rest of the

day.



The puzzle factory was AWESOME! The two retired people that own this place LOVE kids. They went step by step what they do to make a puzzle and talked to

the kids about making your dreams come true…just SO uplifting and positive.



The way they looked at each other made my heart swell. They talk with so much love. They love what they do, they love each other, they LOVE their dog (and

the new puppy they are getting next week) and they love their grandkids.
I totally encourage you to check out the website and if you see something you like…order it.



The kids got to make puzzles with their names on it. It was really a fun trip.

On the way home Alyx showed me how mature she really is when she was explaining to me about the girls that were screaming at the top of their lungs.
“Mom, it’s painful huh? I really don’t understand WHY they insist on being so obnoxious.”
and then she showed me that she was still a little girl by saying, “This is the best day ever. This is almost as good as the day I was born.”

Has she already forgotten Disneyland?

I will leave you with a picture of Babe the dog. This dog is the most laid back dog I have ever seen. He just chilled on the carpet with the kids and listened to

the lecture about puzzle making.

He actually looked interested too!



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14
Apr
Is Lenny Kravitz gay?
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
On the way to drop off the first batch of children outside the pit of hell…er…school, Lady by Lenny K came on.

Kara said…and i’m going to quote… “Lenny Kravitz is gay.”

I said…quoting again…”No he’s not!”

Kara in all her cockiness turned to me and said with great confidence and a bit of smuggery…”Pink leather pants and feather boas. Mom, Lenny is gay.” and

then she laughed. It was a laugh that said she had one up on me. She was FINALLY smarter than me.

and then in my best ‘Merry Widow’ I said, “Nu-Uh!”

Okay my fellow RandO’s….is Lenny gay?

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14
Apr
Self Portrait Thursday
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I can’t help….falling in love with …. shoes!!

Okay, I gotta go. I have a field trip with the middle child today.

Go check out selfportaiday.com !!!

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25
Apr
hooker?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: The Fonz


I was reading HDL’s website today and in the comments someone mentioned that hookers have bruises on their legs and yellow hair with black roots. OMG. I

could totally be a hooker!

This picture was taken in 2001 on one of our famous ‘mother daughter trips to Reno’ where we have adopted the ‘what happens in Reno stays in Reno’ moto.

Mom, the Fonz got a hotel room with a hot tub and after a long night of gambling & drinking we went back up to the room (Note: Mom wasn’t drinking, but that

doesn’t stop her from being goofy)
We got the tub super hot and climbed in. Mom turned on the waterfall type thing and put her head back and was relaxing. What we didn’t know is that because

she had her neck on the waterfall part it was flooding the floor and water was going back into the system and flooding the stairwell.
Kathy had order room service about 5 minutes before and we knew we had a good 45 minutes before our food would be arriving, but 10 minutes into soaking

we hear a loud knock at the door.

We all started to freak out because if that door opens you’re going to get a full view shot of us in the hot tub. Mom, even with creaky ass-hips, manages to FLY

out of the hottub. Kathy was already out and I was scrambling to get out.
One leg out of the tub and mom screams (and I mean SCRE-HEEEEMS) “Watch out for my camera!” (why it was on the ledge of the hot tub, don’t ask!)
I SLIDE with one foot on the marble floor and one in the tub and hit my knee so hard I instantly stop dead in my tracks and my eyes start water. I hobbled out

of the tub while Kathy is at the door waiting for me to get my ass in the bathroom.

In the bathroom my mom, the evil bitch that she is, is CRACKING UP!
“Oh, Kristine…that’s gonna bruise.” she manages to get out between laughter fits.

OH and did it.

I give to you…my hooker picture.

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24
Apr
wanna bite?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: friends


What a lazy weekend. I slept until 11am both Saturday and Sunday. Heaven.

Shaun and I went to a friends house for a BBQ for the ‘First Game of The Playoffs’. The Sacramento Kings vs. The Seattle Supersonics. We lost by 5 points.

There is nothing like some good eats to dull the sting of a loss.



E made ribs and B bbqed up some spicy hotdogs and cheese burgers. Lisa made her famous (and I mean REALLY famous) rice. I brought a mean chocolate

fudge cake that I slaved over for hours (I’m using the words ‘slave’ as in I couldn’t decide which one to buy at Albertsons)

There was about 20 of us there enjoying the food (and there was SO much good food), company & picking on the Laker fans because their team didn’t make it

to the play offs.



I think my friends have finally excepted the fact that I have a camera permanently attached to my face and that every single thing in their home (if it can be

seen through an artist eye) will be photographed and that every single moment will be caught and put on the internet. I heard last night, “Kristine, go get a

picture of that!” and my little heart just swelled.



Our kids were at the other parents house for the weekend so I had to take pictures of other people’s children. Isn’t she a doll? She can’t take a picture without

saying, “CHEESE”. I was taking a picture of her hand holding her fathers and I am zooming in and I still hear her saying “CHEESE”.

and for those ‘Shaun gets to play with the camera right?’ supporters…yes, I let him play with the camera and he snaps pictures of me looking like a idiot. This

is the only one I liked.



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22
Apr
Internet…I love you!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Today I got a call from an older lady who saw my post for free computer repair and teaching.
She is 83 years old and needs help figuring out her programs. She clicks the buttons, but they don’t open. Not a problem.

I started talking to her and she was telling me about how she has 24 grandchildren and all about her family. She said the closest relative lives in Riverside

which is in Southern California. I had mentioned that I just got back from Disneyland. She laughed a little bit and said,

“My best friend growing up was Walt.” She told me how when he was planning Disneyland he was telling her all about it and then told her where he wanted to

put it. She said, “Oh no Walt, you can’t put it there.” and he asked her why. “Because that is just too close to my house!”
She talked about what a nice guy he always was. She said he would talk to anyone when he was out walking around. He talked to mail men, dogs, the garbage

collectors. She said, “There isn’t a man alive that is nicer than Walt was.”

Already the healing is starting and I haven’t even gotten out to help them. Next week I have TWO people I’m going to help.

I hope they let me take pictures. :)

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22
Apr
Found them mom…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy


Years ago my sister put together a photo album for me and it had all my pictures of me when I was little. I pulled out the photo album and I took pictures of

pictures.

This one is part of my mother’s prized pictures of me. This one AND the one where I am standing on the hood of a truck pulling my dress up to show the

world that I was not wearing britches under my homemade dress (circa- 1973). That one, internet…you will not be seeing.

In this photo album are pictures of my sister in high school. I called her and told her I was tempted to post her senior picture and she said, “Go ahead…it’s

not that bad.”
Ohhh sweet freedom I hear you calling!

It’s not her birthday yet, (April 28th in case you were wondering) and I am saving up all the good pictures for that post. In preparing for that special post I want

you all to go download “Brick House” so you can turn it on and listen to it when you read my birthday post to my sister. It will enhance your reading pleasure.

I love using the words pleasure and enhance in the same sentence.

What are two words you like to use together?

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21
Apr
Part Two: Sharing my load
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety, ex
The first part was hard to get through. I had to stop typing it because remembering those feelings of detatchment from everything around me was actually

scaring me today. There are days when I feel the same way I did six years ago and I just have to find a way out of it or I will truly lose.my.mind.

So here’s the last part:

July 31, 1998

I don’t know exactly why I am crying and I think that is what makes me cry more.
I know it wont be long before he runs into a woman who is alive, vibrant and finds him appealing to talk to. She’ll talk to him and he will feel needed again,

loved again and desired again and then he goes to her after he comes home to a dirty house, no dinner made, screaming children and a zombie for a wife.
I’m sure he is striving to feel alive again also and i’m not making him feel that way.

So why not do something about it? I can’t.

I’ve tried. I’m running on NO emotions. I feel like someone has slipped mea drug that allows me enough energy and emotion to get through the day, but not

enough to enjoy it or even feel it. A drug that totally numbs the senses, like that feeling you get when you wake up from a deep sleep and you’re forced to

function. You’re awake, but still numb.

I want to run and hide from what I see happening, I feel like if I even try to fight for ‘whatever’ that i’ll completely snap and that scares me to death. I’m so

afraid of completely loosing everything.

When I get angry, it drains me. Happy, it drains me. All im left with is guilt. I don’t want to see my husband run to another woman, but everytime he walks out

of the room I whisper, “we aren’t going to make are we?” and I am afraid that one day my pillar of strength, my rock, my support is going to turn to me and

say, ‘no’. then I will cry and all my emotions will be gone. I wont even be able to fight back. I will just walk away because I know that he can’t live this way.

Why should I punish him into this life of having no feelings simply because I have none.

For better or worse. In sickness and in health.

I feel like I am slowly killing myself and I don’t even care.

And there you have it. That was the part of the worst time in my life. It wasn’t that long after this journal entry that I did what I thought my husband would do.

Like I said before this opens so many doors for people to judge me and start name calling. I stand by what I said before, if it helps one person…bring it on.
I had, and sometimes still have, depression. I still struggle everyday with anxiety. Some of the anxiety is over the things I have been through. This time in my

life was a walking anxiety attack.
Someone said I had a good support group. I did, but if you’re not reaching out for help, you’re not going to get it.
I reached out of help and I was misunderstood. I was told to ‘get out more.’ or ‘get a job’. Dear God couldn’t they see where I was in my head? Couldn’t they

see that adding ONE more thing that would make me feel more guilty would seriously push me over the edge?
No, they didn’t. When you see someone hurting and you can’t help them you get frustrated. When you say, “Please, just do this.” and they don’t do it and

they get worse you just throw your hands up and lash out with, “IF YOU WOULD JUST LISTEN TO ME YOU WOULDN’T BE IN THIS SITUATION!” I frustrated a

lot of people, but I wasn’t listening. I wanted help, but they didn’t understand. I had questions I needed answers to, but didn’t know how to ask.

If you know someone that is hurting, confused or depressed. Just listen. Don’t judge them and don’t say, “if you just do this…” because what works for you,

might not work for them. Just listen to them. Try not to get frustrated. Right now this person needs a friend. Someone they can really just say, “I feel really

ugly on the inside and I need help.”

I’m lucky that I came back from this place. I now understand what I need to survive and it’s the ability to trust myself enough to say to the people that I love,

“Hey, look. I need help.” and I can trust the people that they will take whatever steps to get me that help.

and now I promise next week will be all about boob hair, Shaunisms, Shea pictures & my mother and her redneck ways.

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21
Apr
Sharing My Load: Part One
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety, ex


This might be the hardest post to hit send on. I haven’t even typed the words that I wrote back in 1998, but just re-reading them hurts. I want to share this

though. I’m probably opening up a door that should be left alone, but if it helps just one person, then me hitting the wall will make it worth it.

Mom & Kathy: You might not want to read this. It’s at the core of me at the worst time in my life and I have come back from there and I am better person now,

but it still hurts and you were there and this hurt you too…these are probably memories of a time you don’t want to relive.

July 31, 1998

Today was just another day. I went to the bank and took some money out to pay the house payment from last month and this month, well, July that is.

I went to the doctor last week. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. I guess I had it coming having two children back to back.
I knew from the beginning that something was wrong, but thought light of it. Now I am so deep I don’t feel an escape. Well, I do, but it is unacceptable. I feel

like there is nothing left of me. I feel…no I don’t feel anything…I sense things.
I sense things slipping through my fingers and I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. I have no pride, no feelings, no love, no hate…i’m so indifferent.

My eyes are more open to things I have never ever thought of before, such as suicide. I never could understand how someone who was depressed could kill

themselves, I would ask; “Didn’t they think about the people they would leave behind? Didn’t they care?” I now understand that with depression that you’re

only allowed one emotion at a time and if your drawn so far into it, your only thought is escape and remorse has no place.

I often wonder how long I can last. I don’t know how long I can go on without ‘feeling’ things, seeing the future for what it might be and not caring enough to

do something about it, to save what I have.

I heard this song on the radio and the line in it said, “You bleed just to know you’re alive.” I feel like that, like if I could just FEEL something that I could snap

back.
I laugh and cry, but it’s on such a weird level. I feel more anger & hurt, but mostly guilt and anger. The anger stems from anything that happens that ‘just isn’t

fair’ and the guilt is because before I could have handled it, but now I just don’t care. I want to hide. The overwhelming need to hide scares me. I want to run,

tuck myself in a ball and …die.
I’m pretty sure that is it.

Everyday is a struggle. It’s amazing by the end of the day that I haven’t snapped. I wake up every morning and I think to myself, “Today is the day I won’t

make it”…but I do and that fact alone pisses me off.
God I am so far gone.

I can see all this bad stuff happening and I can’t do anything to stop it.
I see Dan and I slipping further and further apart. I know he can’t take much more of me neglecting “us”, but I can’t even think about that because I don’t want

to give him what isn’t really there. Like when we talk, I want to say things, but my mouth won’t open. I just think them in my head and he just gets this blank

stare. He has now just stopped talking to me. When I do talk I feel like I am a zombie who is just talking because I know he needs to hear my voice.

This is all I can write today…I’ll finish it up later.

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21
Apr
Today…I’m leaving the house.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
It’s 11:04 am. I have a good phone day today.

I got a message on my answering machine from my mom. She loves me the most. I just know it.

I got a phone call from…oh God, what’s her name again? I forgot it ;) How about I just call her SJ? We talked for an hour and I love it because I just formed a

friendship today.

I then got a call from she-who-won’t-be-named (I need to come up with a better name, because that is too hard to type) and I realize how much I love my

friends.
She is insisting that I get my ass in the shower and go with her to find plants. I whined about leaving the house and she threatens my safety if I refuse. She is

my human crowbar. She is one of the reasons I stay emotionally balanced. She hates it when I blog about her, but damn it…without her in my life I would

need serious shock therapy. I love her damn it.

Then Tina called to tell me some good news and of course I can’t get to the phone fast enough. Words to people who call me….I don’t answer the phone, start

talking and If I hear you say, “Hey, it’s me pick up” I will. If you start the conversation with a computer voice that says, “You have an important message….” I

will NOT pick up the phone. Give me a few seconds to drag my ass up off the chair too.

Shaun, do not call the house in 5 minutes doing the stupid computer voice. YES, I know you had already thought of it.

& yes, I got your email…i’m bringing Marina her project board.

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21
Apr
SPT – Flexin’
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


This me getting my cuddle on.

I am flexin’ my right to climb into my big, warm, cozzy bed with my BAMF camera and cuddle.

Yesterday I was taking pictures of pre-digital camera pictures. I have about 4 photo albums full of pictures that were taken with a ….what do you call them? a

‘film camera’? non-digital? was I really alive before digital camera’s exsisted? not possible.
Anyway…Shaun got home JUST in time for the “Kristine 4:30pm Cuddle Fest”
It never looks good when you go into the bedroom and all my camera gear is spread across the bed like I had just had a photo shoot for Playboy.

I’m working on figuring out how to take pictures without the flash. I don’t like the flash. I’m not a big fan of the washed out look. So far i’m not doing so good.

Everyone is red. BUT…if you take the picture and change it to black and white in photoshop you get a really cool picture.



(and yes, I do take pictures of other people outside of my muse (Shea), but it just happens to always be Shaun. I think he is the most handsomist man)

Happy SPD everyone!

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20
Apr
111405162459542716
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: shea


If she ever gets into acting you will all be able to say, “I knew her when she was just the many faces of Random and Odd.”

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20
Apr
Pretty in Hot Pink
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: marina

It’s clean now, but I betcha by the time the girl gets home she will have the name of every sixth grader at her school on that cast.



I was right.

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30
Apr
111488715758911133
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara


hee heeee…heeeee heeee hee. MAhahahahahahhahaha. HAHAHHAHAHAHA.

I don’t know why this is so funny. It could be that she’s actually handling this situation MUCH better than I did. She’s cracking jokes and being honest with

me.

I don’t remember being this open about it when it happened to me. I remember thinking my life was going to end and life now officially sucked. I didn’t want

to talk about it, I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up and it be all over.

Talking the girls, I tried to tell them stories that would prepare them for this. I told them I was SOOOO afraid that people would know I had one on. I would

take those big ass Serta mattresses the Fonz bought me and I would put them in my science book and sit on it. I was the original designer of the ‘thin maxi’.
I also told them the time I forgot I had put them in there and Matt Chesnut found them.
Girls should be able to talk about it as it’s everyday stuff and not be embarrassed.

My life would have been so much easier if I didn’t give a shit that I had no boobs. I wish now that I was brave enough to say, “I have no boobies. My sister has

no boobies. My mother has long boobies. If you don’t like what I look like in this shirt…go fuck yourself.” I wasn’t that brave though. I wore big t-shirts and

big jackets in hopes that the boys wouldn’t notice that I had no boobies. I broke the news to Kara about not having boobs.

My life would have also been so much easier if I wasn’t terrified every single month. If I could just joke about it. If I didn’t care if people knew. If I could just

get over my insecurities and just laugh about it.
A few months ago the girls were talking about all the girls that had ‘pink week’ and blah…blah…blah… This is when I told them the stories about being

embarrassed, scared, unable to talk about it, unable to find the humor in anything. I knew they listened, but I think Kara actually took it to heart.

After talking about it SO maturely about it she gives out a dramatic whine and laughs, “I hate you by the way…because you’re laughing and I’m sure YOU had

some sort of say in how much this hurts.” She laughed again and gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked away, moaning and holding her back like an old

lady.

It was one of those classic moments I will remember forever. I said loudly, “Shut up and take a midol you big whiner!”

She turned and laughed at me and said, “Where you hiding yours mom? You big whiner!”

She’s been joking with me all morning. She actually listened to what I said.

I’m documenting this day because I am sure this will never happened again.

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29
Apr
Thank you for your prayers!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


This morning was going to be busy as I had set up 5 appointments with the seniors to assist them with their computer needs. I had just finished calling all of

them to confirm their appointments when I the phone rang. I just figured it was Olive calling to give me directions one more time…and to probably tell me

ONE MORE story :)

Shaun doesn’t call me before 11:30 am. He sends me my morning email telling me that he loves me and thinks I am the best girlfriend that ever was and ever

will be, but he doesn’t usually call before his lunch break. He called me this morning and he was ‘driving’ so I knew something was up.

“My dad had a heart attack.”

My heart went into my throat and I thought I was going to instantly burst into tears.

Years ago I read an article about a celebrity that was trying to sell her home and was having a hard time with it. During the painting process she painted in

huge words, “Everything is going to be all right!” for some reason, seeing those words haphazardly painted on her wall brought me peace.

During college I had a lot of hard times and I would write those words on my hand.
I was the only girl in my class for two years and the guys knew that I was stressed out beyond belief if they saw me writing on my hand. Sometimes they would

walk up to me and grab my hand and look at it to see if things were okay with me.

On this one day I had a classmate come over and take my hand in his and he opened my hand and read it. He said, “Thank you. I needed this today.”
I graduated a semester after he did because of a flunked algebra class I needed to retake, but I still went to his graduation.
He was standing in line trying to get his robe and cap ready and I yelled out his name to let him know I had made it. He smiled and then showed me his hand.

He wrote, “Everything is going to be all right!” on the palm of his hand.

Everything is going to be alright with Mr. C . He got to the hospital in the middle of the heart attack. They got him in instantly and began taking care of him.

He is now in ICU and not in pain. They will be giving him more tests tomorrow morning and he’ll be in the hospital until they decide how bad the damage is

and figure out what to do.

Thank you for your prayers and kind words. If you’re feeling up to it, write those words on your hand for us and when you see it there send another little

prayer up again.

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29
Apr
strange things afoot
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

It’s weird, this blog thing. I started it to vent about what a dumb-ass Shaun was being and how much all the kids were going to make me crazy and there was

not a chance in the world that we would make it past 6 months. I wanted to vent about my friend leaving me to move to Idaho.

I had some good days and after I figured out how to post pictures I called Kathy and told her where to go to see the pictures.

I never expected to get readers outside of my sister, and certainly didn’t expect her to be able to find the website after that one trip to the page.

The reason I am telling you this is because I posted this picture of Kara and out of habit I started it out ‘Hey mom and Kath, here’s the picture I have been

promising you’.

It’s just still really hard to believe that people outside of those two visit. I know I have other readers…I check my stat counter and I’ve got the best commenters

that EVER exsisted.

It just seems weird that others care enough to keep coming back. I’m always totally humbled.

And on that note: Here is your Kara winning her first “Official” game of the season.
They are now 1 and 0.
Next game Saturday.

AND I just got a phone call and because the Cuttinghams (Shaun’s Parents) are such private people I am just going to ask that you say a quick prayer for Mr.

C.

and now I am going to run out the door at lightening speed.

Comments (12)  //  Add Comment
28
Apr
Yeah, she’s sorry.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: shea

For as long as I can remember Shea has been begging me to let her take her digital camera outside. I never let her because I didn’t want her to break it. It’s an

expensive camera her Paw-Paw bought her.
I caved in and let her take it outside yesterday.
When I went to put the batteries in it last night I noticed the cracked case & broken flash. When confronted she lied like Peterson on the stand.
“I don’t know what happened. It was alweady browken.”

I threatened to beat her and she caved. (By the way, I could have gotten Peterson to confess!)
She said she dropped it. NO DUH!

It’s dead. The camera won’t even register the pictures any more.
She’s grounded for not telling me the truth and being sneaky…not because she broke the camera…accidents happen.

I got this letter today. Let me translate:


I love you as much as can be. We all love you. If you marry Shaun,
it’s okay.

Anyway, everybody loves you. I love you so much a whole bunch.

Anyway, I have something to tell you. Look at my bed. It’s
Vantastic!

Well got to go. Bye. Love you.

OH, hope you like
it.



She’s still grounded though.

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28
Apr
Random and Odd…on the street
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random


This is proof that I am the best mother that ever lived. I let the 12 year old take a couple pictures with the BAMF camera. AND further proof (not that we need

any in this department) that I am the bestest girlfriend. EVER. I let Shaun take the BAMF camera to work today to get some pictures. Pick the jaws up off the

keyboard people…it was bound to happen.

Everythings been on a low range simmer in the house lately. Progress reports, softball games, casts, fingersplints, Shea dropping her camera and then

TRYING TO HIDE IT FROM ME, driving back and forth from school three times each morning, allergies, old people, little people…i’m starting to crack.
I went to the school the other day and decided to grab a few pictures. I went into the the older girls classroom this certain day for a purpose. I wanted to get a

picture of Marina’s boyfriend. What I found was a wonderland of cool things to take pictures of. Did I mention that 6th graders are camera whores?



It’s been almost a whole school year that I have been hearing stories about the sixth grade boy wonder, Ty Po (that’s not his name…just a version of it)
Ty Po is like, OMG, the most popular boy in all of sixth grade. There is the constant chatter of what Ty Po did today, what he wore, who he talked to and in

hushed tones…who he likes.
Ty Po can be found as the first name on any girls *M*A*S*H* ‘boys I will marry’ list.

I am of course curious as to what this kid looks like. I’m thinking we got ourselves a little Brad Pitt or George Clooney on our hands.



I was WRONG.

This my internet friends and family is the most popular boy in 6th grade. I couldn’t figure out why. I asked the girls and they said he was linked to have ‘gone

with’ Taylor F, who happens to be the, like, OMG, most popular girl that EVER was. Seriously. omg. yeah.



It was Friday so after school I took the older girls to the pizza place so they could hang out and be cool. This is where I witnessed Ty Po in all his glory. He

was hanging out with his friends doing his thang.



No really. To be THIS cool. You should have seen these group of boys just flying off the stairs with their boards. They had ‘looking’ bad ass down to an art

form.
I tried to remember what was cool when I was in 6th grade…and then I remembered it and dear God it doesn’t get worse than this…

Members Only jackets and Michael Jackson one gloves.

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28
Apr
a letter to my sister,
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy
I’ve tried writing this as a post for the perfect blog entry. I tried to write so my readers could have some clue to what a stand-out siter you are.
I tried picking out a song that would capture who you are so they could feel what I feel.
I looked for a picture of us when we were little that would show them that you and I were the bestest sisters that ever existed.

Four pads of paper, a pack of smokes & 13 cd’s later – I’m stuck. I’m stuck not being able to express myself clearly.

How could they ever know? How could they ever feel what I feel? Could they?

I hear stories all the time about sisters and how much they love each other. Sometimes love isn’t everything. It sure helped growing up in our house because

we didn’t have anything, but we had love.
What I remember most about our youth was not just love, but the security you gave me.
You made sure I didn’t grow up too fast, you let me be a little girl living in a fantasy world where I was a princess with flowers in my hair.

It wasn’t always easy being my big sister, but I never felt like I wasn’t welcome anywhere you went. I remember watching you dance with your girlfriends.

Watching you be my older sister was always with so much pride. I had the prettiest sister of all my friends. I had the sister that put make-up on me and made

sure I wasn’t left out or picked on by any of her friends.

When you got married we went out and picked daisies. How do I remember this? I was so young then. I don’t remember with great clarity every day, but I can

place my feelings perfectly…I felt safe. No matter what, I was safe.

After you were married I was always welcome to stay with you anytime I wanted. You would come get me and we would hang out. With everything going on in

your life you still let me live in my fantasy world where everything was pretty horses and magic. My time with you was always an adventure. We would go out

to the lakes and listen to the birds. You would point out flowers and ask me what my favorite sounds and smells were.
Things like that never changed with you.

As we got older I still spent days at your house. You had transformed into the prettiest sister into the ‘hottest’ sister. We got to share clothes and you showed

me that you understood me on new levels. We got to tell each other stories that didn’t involve magic unicorns and rainbows. We started to connect and

understand where the other one was coming from.

It sounds horrible, but the day your marriage ended and we ended up back in the same bedroom I was selfishly happy. Paul was always more like my little

brother than my nephew and now I got to have my big sister to talk to and my baby brother to play video games with.
The day you met Kevin was a turning point in our relationship. We went from sisters to best friends.
I left a note on the bedroom door that read; “I don’t care how late it is when you get home, I want to hear all about it! WAKE ME UP!” and you did! I was half

asleep and you were bubbling with excitement. We sat up and talked about everything that happened on the first date with the man you ended up marrying.

In my teens I was still a huge part of your life. You made sure of that. You made room for me no matter how small the house you lived in. When the houses

got bigger I got my own room.

I turned 21 in the hospital with Kara and everyone knows that without you being there she would have never come out. I would have never made through that

without you.
That seems to be the recurring theme throughout my life. You were always there and you always let me know that it was going to be okay.

Through the hardest times in my life I ended up on the phone with you. In extreme cases I ended up at your door. You said once that your favorite sound was

hearing me say that I was right around the corner.
I almost missed an important birthday of yours because I didn’t know how to drive a stick shift. Two days before your birthday I grabbed the keys and taught

myself well enough to get to the freeway. My theory was, ‘if I can get to the freeway I will have three hours in 4th gear and it will be smooth sailing!’ ….What I

didn’t account for was that you lived on a hill with four stop signs all the way up that hill. It was worth the embarrassment of stalling and lurching to see how

proud and happy you were that I was there.

That feeling never gets old; knowing that if I live in my fantasy world, screw up, make mistakes and fall flat on my face that you ‘ll be there to stare at me…

shrug your shoulders…laugh a little and say, “Yeah. We’ve all been there Kristine.” and you still love me and you’re still proud of me.

I know that no matter what you’ll get that smile on your face when I walk through the door and we will laugh the whole time we are together. We will talk until

long after we have anything important to say and probably laugh so much that we cry and our faces hurt.

There is no way for me anyone to even grasp the depth of the love I have always had for you.

You have been my mother, my sister and my best friend for so many years that I can’t imagine a single day without you in it.

Happy Birthday Kathaleenie-weenie.

Your little sister,
Krissy Poo

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27
Apr
Pimpin’ The Blogs!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I’ve been having fun ‘pimpin’ your blogs’.

I started with mom & kathy.

Then of course Shaun got his blog pimped.

I then worked on Marina & Kara’s blog.

I decided it was time to offer up the services outside of my family and did Carolines & Pissy Britches.

That wasn’t enough…so I did Torries blog. (this one was FUN)

Well, I have an idea in my head for Shea’s blog for a LONG time and I finally did it today. Yes, it looks much like the other ones I have tweaked in the past…

but HELL, I am still learning!! bear with me for awhile!!!

I give to you…. Shea’s Photography Blog.

If this were anymore fun I would wet myself.

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26
Apr
home
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Shaun


Today was one of those big days. One of those days that require me to shower, blow dry the hair, curl the hair and put on make-up.
It required me to leave the house to go downtown to the airport and meet people I have never met. This day included Shaun’s ex-wife who likes me one day

and hates me the next, her ex-husband (who turned out to be a really sweet guy), his family, cousins of those people I have never met, balloons, banners and a

camera man.

Dennis was greeted with quite a group of people who love him so very much. I was truly moved by the people that came out to meet him at the airport and

welcome him home for his visit.

Den was the first of Shaun’s kids I was allowed to meet. Shaun and I took our relationship pretty slow and decided it would be awhile before each of us met

each other’s children. Dennis is Shaun’s step son from his his first marriage. He took on Dennis and his little sister when they were pretty young so Shaun

has always been a part of their lives…much like he’s a part of my girls lives.
I met Dennis at a pizza place for our fantasy football league. We hit it off instantly and I actually think he had a big role in the fact that Shaun and I are still

together today. I could laugh and joke with Dennis like I had known him for years. After Shaun and I left the pizza place he asked me what I thought of him and

I said, “He’s a good kid.” and that statement still rings true. I think Dennis might have said he thought I was totally cool and Shaun would have to be a moron

to let me go…but that’s just my speculation.



He came down the escalator today dressed in his lighter colored army duds looking handsome as hell and I got choked up a bit. I stood on the other side of

the group of people waiting for him (hooting and a’hollerin’ like they were from the mountains) and I took pictures. I didn’t hoot or holla. I just stood back and

took pictures like an innocent bystander. I got to see everyone’s expression as he made his way through the crowd hugging everyone as he did. His Dad, His

mom, his sister and other relatives. He was making his crowd towards someone and I was bound and determined to get the shot of the person he was heading

for. He was stopped a few times and I got those hugging pictures. When it dawned on me who he was actually looking for my heart swelled with pride. It was

Shaun. I didn’t get the picture because I just stood there and watched them. He stopped moving through the crowd once he made his way to Shaun and he

hugged him and then turned back around and made his rounds again.
I don’t think Shaun caught this because he was caught up in the moment of seeing his boy. I was happy to be the bystander behind the camera making sure I

got the picture.

I know the love that Dennis has for Shaun will be the same my kids have for him. It’s born from respect. Shaun is funny and cracks jokes and teases. He also

demands respect and gets it in the most subtle ways. Today he might have missed it, but he got it. I know when my girls grow up and they are coming home

or walking across a stage they will have me and Dan there cheering them on, but I also know that Shaun will be there in the crowd with us and he will get his

hug and will always know how much he is loved.

but if he doesn’t stop with teasing me about adverbs and the proper use of ‘incredibly quickly’ I will dump his ass so fast his head will spin.

WELCOME HOME DENNIS! pictures

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26
Apr
incredibly quickly
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun


Shaun’s step-son comes home today…for a little while at least.
We are meeting him at the airport with banners, flags and lots of hugs.

(yes, I will be getting about 14 hundred pictures)

And to see a close up of Shaun’s handsome mug and his brave step-son go to Shaun’s Blog.
and yes, he used the words incredibly quickly back to back.

I’m just trying to pull the focus away from the naked hot tub images that are running through the minds of my poor readers.

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25
Apr
What to share and what not to share….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I need to put post it notes on the computer.

Things I’m allowed to share with the internet.
Things I’m not allowed to share with the internet.
Things my I can share with the internet, but better make sure the family doesn’t tell the extended x-rated version of the story.

Yes. Naked with mother and sister. She gave birth to me! Well…i’m about 95% sure that my mother gave birth to me, The other 5% believes that my sister

might actually be my real mother because it would just be so damn cool to find that out 33 years later!

I have put together my post it notes:

Things I am allowed to share with the internet:

pictures of my children, friends & family…and other random things.
stories of my youth & current stories that I think might entertain or enlighten.
not that often, but my venting of certain things stupid people in my life do.
Things I am not allowed to share with the internet:

Stories of poop. I’m sorry…I just can’t do it. I’m not that brave. I have been with Shaun for 2 year and he knows nothing of my BM’s and I know nothing of his.

Mystery people…I like it. Now there are certain relatives and one friend that know WAY more than anyone should know about my pooping habits.
My sex life. I will not share my sex stories on the internet…or lack of stories on the internet…or super abundance of stories about sex on the internet.
Stories about my friends that are not approved of first.
The badmouthing of ex-husbands and ex-wives. YES, I did it once and I will try to not do it again in the future…it’s just SO easy to do.
Marriage proposals on April Fools Day that may or may not be taken seriously.
Things I might want to tread lightly around:

Stories about Reno.
Stories about Las Vegas
Anything that happens in Redding.
Pictures of Shaun’s woody in the shower.
Okay…now that is cleared up..I’m ready to download the pictures of the said woody and upload them to my Flickr account.

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07
May
i forgot to send a card.
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Hi Mom!
This was the year I was going to send you a card. I swear it. I always feel like a heel when I call you on Mother’s day and you tell me what your four other

children have done for you and I couldn’t even remember to send you a card. I always promise you something, but I never follow through. (I guess

somethings never change huh?)

So this year, I give to you…the list of why I am the best child you ever gave birth to.

1. I gave you THREE grandbabies! One more than the others.
2. I never robbed a bakery.
3. You never had to chase me with logs.
4. I don’t live down the street from you and that means I don’t bug you by visiting all the time ;)
5. I wouldn’t ever stink up your house with flowers.
6. When you told me you threw a frog at a dog, I totally understood you.
7. I didn’t marry Ethan.
8. I didn’t hate you when you taught the dog to come to me when you told it to, “Go say hi to your sister.”
9. Even at 33 when I come visit you we still sleep in the same bed, stay up watching “the dog whisperer” and talking about the old days. We still hold hands

until we finally fall asleep.
10. I picked Shaun.

Alright, those are lame reasons why I should be your favorite.



It’s enough knowing you love me (more than Kathy) and you’re here with us. You are an awesome mom and I didn’t even send you a card. I guess Kathy

might be your favorite because she will get to spend the day with you and bring you flowers and presents. that bitch. ;)



Happy Mother’s day to my sister too. She did it. If you are working two jobs just to be able to buy diapers and make sure your kid has clean clothes for

school. Kathy is your inspiration. She did it. She pulled through those times and Paul and her are so close. I admire her.

Susie said it best on her blog about mother’s day. Go over and read what she said.

Happy Mother’s Day Moms & Mom’s alike

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07
May
HOLY TURD IN A PUNCH BOWL!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
I was tagged and I didn’t know it! I was rereading my comments…cherishing each precious one…and I saw this one from Misfit and she mentioned her blog

for May 3rd. I read it and LOW AND BEHOLD…I was tagged.

Turd in a punch bowl
I will name it after my ex.
Turd in a punch bowl
It’s been two years since he’s had sex.

Rules:1. Write a four line poem with the 1st and 3rd lines being “turd in a punch bowl”
2. Make lines 2 and 4 rhyme, using any topic3.
Tag three other bloggers and force them to post a turdy poem on their own turdy blog.

I tag… Kathy, Pissy & Striz

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06
May
It’s totally FRIDAY!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


See those up there? Snickerdoodles and Brownies. Jessica Rabbit, along with being a our resident boob blogger, is a cookie and brownie maker!
I helped spruce up her blog..and her man’s blog one night and she asked me what I love.

I love me some snickerdoodles.

She hopped down to the store and got the stuff to make me cookies and brownies (hopefully the kind that make me want to eat lots of cookies ;) These are on

their way to my house…AS.I.TYPE!

On a sidenote I am cracking up at your comments!
You can all come hang out with me and Shaun…just hope you can dodge sponge, handle 4 girls that feel the need to out-talk each other, step over the 14 year

old without knocking the cord out of the Xbox, master the art of winning at Ro-Sham-Bo for computer time and not want to kill the barking poodle.
If you’re hip on helping me fold laundry, I might even share my brownies!

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05
May
I’m all growed up again
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I suck. I totally forgot that this isn’t all about getting comments or being everyone’s best friend or being a part of a special group. I swear I feel like a complete

idiot. I love you all though because you either admitted to being the same way or you slapped me around and told me to grow up.

How did I come to this conclusion? Amy. Damn it all, she made me cry!
I swear I didn’t start this blog to change anyone’s lives or even make the world a better place. I had more selfish reasons. I just wanted to bitch about stuff that

bugged me and be able to go back and say, “Oh hey, i’m doing better now.”
But, because I did something, Amy did something.

How did it start? I read Girl from Impanema’s blog on April 20th and I was inspired.

I am reminded once again how powerful the internet is. How powerful our words are. You have all helped me in so many more ways than I could have ever

imagined.

And now to make you all laugh: Shaun, being the loving boyfriend who looks really hot and sexy right now, threw a fucking wet sponge at me from across the

kitchen and hit me RIGHT IN THE FACE. He’s lucky he looked so hot and sexy or I would have ripped him a new asshole. He’s also lucky that I had just read

William’s blog where he talked about the reason his wife is the best mother/wife ever. Besides, Shaun was making dinner for me and 5 kids. William, I beg to

differ, Shaun is the best mother/wife EVER. and a pretty damn good aim.

Comments (23)  //  Add Comment
05
May
NOSE: pushed out of shape
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
I feel like a big ol’ baby right now, but I just can’t help it. I feel like i’m in sixth grade and and there is a group of girls that are totally dissing me.
Okay, well it would be more like ONE girl is totally dissing me. I’m friends with all her friends, but she just will not give me the time of day.

*rolling eyes* MAYBE it’s the medication i’m on. MAYBE it’s the 2 episodes of Extreme Homemake Over that make me all an emotional wreck. MAYBE it’s

Pissy Britches sending out all that love. OR maybe i’m just being a total sixth grader right now.

Here’s the thing. We all pretty much run in the same ‘blogging’ circles. We all have the core people we go visit. We all comment, some days we don’t, we even

have some blogs that no one else from our core visit. Well, there is this one person that has been a core blogger and we run in the same comment sections,

we have all the same ‘friends’, I go to her blog at least once a day 4 days a week, I even comment. I say nice things. I go back and check the comments later

to see what has been said and she will acknowledge everyone’s comments, but mine. She doesn’t even comment on my blog, but comments on everyone

else’s.

I know, totally 6th grade of me huh? I don’t know WHY it bugs me. It just does. I want to ask her, “Have I done something to piss you off.”, but no…i’m being

all 12 and blogging about it instead.

Yeah. I’m the grown up here. I have to go now. I have to go pick up five kids, 2 of them being 6th graders that would totally laugh in my face if I told them

about this.

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05
May
How to annoy me…
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


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04
May
My Day at the Retirement Center
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


This was my second trip to the retirement center to help the older peeps.
I felt like I was repeating myself all day about the whole…”This is your email…this is your internet….Click here…this comes up…now you try it.”
You know what? THEY.DID.GREAT. I mean Tony the Tiger GREEEEEEEAT!

I also learned some new things too.

I learned how to smoke a cigarette without a filter.
I learned that you DO NOT say no to an old woman offering you cookies and ‘pop’.
I learned that it takes a half hour to package your own sausage.



I think the lesson I learned most today is old people are really lonely. This one guy was sleeping on his couch when I showed up. I asked him what he wants

to get out of being a computer owner and he said, “I’m all alone. I sleep all day and every day is exactly the same as the last.”
He had pictures on his coffee table of him and his wife that was taken probably 25 years ago. He had a picture of his son that was clearly taken in the 80′s.

They were big 8 x 10 photos sitting on this tiny coffee table in front of him. It was obvious that he just sat and stared at them every day. There was another of

his granddaughter. It broke my heart. I asked each one of them if they had kids and if the kids lived far away. They all had kids and they all lived within a

hundred miles of them. I asked if they got to visit with them often and there was that moment of complete silence and then they would say, “Ohhhh well, he’s

real busy.”



Mother’s Day is Sunday. Just a reminder. I think I might go buy a bunch of flowers and make a trip over to say hello. I ain’t too busy.

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04
May
SPD THURSDAY
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I had so many ‘how to annoy me’ to choice from. I would have taken a picture of the rust rings in the shower that you get when you leave the shaving cream

can standing, but since I bitched about that he hasn’t done it again. Shaun is SO trainable. I just need to work on his nasty temper and violence problems.

How To Annoy Me



to my 28 pairs of size 10 jeans: you hang there. you sit in that basket in my closet. you taunt me by sometimes falling off the hanger and leading me to believe

that you’re one of the 3 pairs of jeans that I can wear. I put you on and we wrestle like two lovers until I burst into tears and check the tag.

How To REALLY annoy me



forget that I have 28 pairs of size 10 jeans in my closet and buy donuts at the grocery store, ‘for the kids’. I know I am going to eat like 5 of these.

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03
May
Retail Therapy?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


The back is hurting really bad and when I get to hurtin’ I get frustrated at everything. I took it out on my wallet today. I bought some stuff.

BBQ- The kind without the ‘on’ switch. Shaun wanted it to taste like BBQ and not gas.
Weed eater twine
A rake.
A pink jacket for my dog. shut up. she looks cute.
Some mop and glo
I know…I’m a retarded retail therapy shopper.

You’ll all be happy to know that part one of “Project Getter’ Done” is under way. You’ll find humor in the fact that I can’t remember the user name, password

or email I used to sign up for the blog to post the pictures though. The boy weed eated the patio. Yes, I know I sound like a redneck when I say he ‘weed eated

the patio’, but that’s exactly what he did. the patio has just as much weeds growing out of the cement as the back yard does.



Oh and look, I found our air conditioner.

The Mop and Glo i’m sure has some sort of soothing effect for the soul. That or I’m finally caving in and deciding it’s time to mop the kitchen floor. It has

been since Thanksgiving. (Thanks Mom!)

Speaking of Mom. I miss her. I want her to come see me. I want her to come see me for Mother’s Day.
OH don’t jump my shit. I would totally drive up there and spend the weekend with her and I have about a million times, but Kara has TWO games this

weekend. It’s her turn. Can you please convince the Fonz that her daughter is in pain and borderline depressed and needs her mommy? Besides Kathy and I

got her a fucking kick ass Mother’s Day present.

Yes. I’m depressed. I’m really trying to work on it. I’m frustrated as hell at everything.

Don’t forget that tomorrow is “How to Annoy Me” SPD. Take a picture of something that is annoying you…or Annoys you. I wonder how many pictures this

blog can hold before it bursts?



P.S. Shaun, thank you for everything you do. I love you so very much. I’m wearing your lucky t-shirt hoping it will make me feel better.

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03
May
111513790576467379
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Shea got her glasses! It’s been a year since she broke her last pair and it has taken that long to get insurance to get her new ones. She likes them, they are

WAY cuter than the last pair she had. *bowing head* Please dear Lord, don’t let her break this pair

I ain’t got nuthin’ today kids. I wish I could come up with something good for you, but I don’t. I was driving home from dropping off the girls at school and I

was thinking, “I have nothing to write about today. Oh, I can write about that guy on the motorcycle. I can write about that woman gardening. I can write about

how big that tree has gotten in the past year.”

I think it’s the medicine I am taking. It could be that I am taking them as pain killers instead of for the original use, which is for my anxiety. Hey, it’s hard to

bitch about pain when you’re dead asleep on the couch drooling on yourself.

I feel like I partied with Aerosmith last night. I woke this morning with a headache and the strange taste of ‘rubber’ in my mouth. (Usually that means I had

string cheese earlier in the day, but there is no string cheese in the house)

Someone suggested that I go to the doctor. I am thinking this bright ass person must be from Canada where health care doesn’t require you to have to lob off

your left breast for payment. I swear the doctors here charge you to call and tell them you’re in pain.

“My back is out. It hurts so bad that I can’t walk and it’s shooting pain all the way to the back of my knee caps and-”
“Stop there. You’re about 30 words in…I’m going to need your credit card number so I can bill you for the first 30 words and then it will be a small charge for

every word after.”

I swear not to ever take health coverage for granted ever again if I somehow by the grace of God get it back.
I just feel sorry for the doctor that has to deal with me on my first visit.

“Okay, I got these things on my chest, like two tiny scabs…didn’t scratch myself, don’t know where they came from. OH, and my hair is falling out. My sister

said I look like I have a yarmulke on my head. Did I mention the headaches!? Of course my back is out. The anxiety attacks are killing me, but no worries I

have been taking illegal drugs for that problem. I smoke. That’s probably not good. You need to do a pap too, I haven’t had one of those in about 5 years.”

So yeah…I feel like a race car that is being left out in the rain. I have so much potential, but I am going to rust before my time.

Shaun just called.

“Hi honey, whatcha doin?”
“Blogging.”
“Okay, well just wanted to take a moment out of my busy day as the blood drip to call you.”
(They are having a blood drive at his work and they volunteered him to dress up in the big ‘blood drip’ costume to help motivate people to give blood)
*pause*
“hee hee…Shaun, are you wearing the costume right now?”

and it’s moments like this that make me realize that my life could be worse. I could be the guy dressed up as a blood drip waving at cars.

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10
May
“I’ve always been afraid to ask…”
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I get emails asking me random questions about myself. Not that I don’t enjoy the occasional, “What color panties are you wearing?”, but I thought for sure I

was an open book. Who would be afraid to ask me anything? I always answer the emails as honestly as possible. I’m just always baffled that people even

cared enough to email and ask.

Now this leads me to wonder…We’ve all said that same line, “I’ve always been afraid to ask…”

What are you afraid to ask? WHO are you afraid to ask? WHY are you afraid to ask?

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10
May
“If I could be…”
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
I was tagged by Metro with “If I could be”

The rules are simple when you’re tagged.
Choose 5 items from the list to write about.
Tag 3 other individuals when you’re done.

The theme is, as you can see, “If I could be…”

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter

If I could be a gardener – My backyard would look a HELL of a lot better!

If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect

If I could be a linguist- I would be impossible to live with. I would be a pompous ass!

If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete

If I could be a lawyer – I would practice Family Law. I would specialize in Father’s Rights.

If I could be an inn-keeper
If I could be a professor

If I could be a writer – I would make sure that my spell check was ALWAYS on and Cat would be my editor.

If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be an astronaut

If I could be a world famous blogger – I would comment on my fan’s blog. I wouldn’t be silent. I would remember why I was famous. I would also make sure

the pictures were in focus.

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world,
If I could be married to any current famous political figure.

I tag…Merry Widow , Pissy Britches , & Cat

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10
May
111573950321089262
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
doesn’t make any sense. ~Rumi

May is always a hard month for me. This May marks 6 years that I left my husband. It’s really hard to believe that it hasn’t been a million years. It feels like it.

When I was going through the whole process 6 years ago I was sure that things would never be normal for me. I would say out loud, “My mommy and daddy

are divorced.” and then I would cup my hand over my mouth in disbelief and start crying. The thought of my children saying those words killed me.

It’s six years later and we are all okay. We still balance each other out as parents. He spoils them with Starbucks hot chocolate once a week and brings me a

latte. I make sure they make it to school on time and do their homework. He lets them stay up until wee hours in the morning and I make sure they go to bed

at 9:30 pm. He respects Shaun enough to let him parent his children and I don’t pick on him for not having a girlfriend yet.

I didn’t think I could live through leaving my husband….and now I don’t think I would have survived if I didn’t.

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09
May
Blue Steel
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Shaun has many talents.
He can cook. He can make me laugh. He thinks I’m pretty in my yellow sweats, pink robe and crazy toe socks.

He also does a remarkable impression of Zoolander.

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09
May
111565212873394777
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
I don’t watch TV a lot, but lately…since Tivo…I have been watching more of it. I lay on the couch with the mooshu-mooshu monkey dog and we watch TV.

My Tivo selections are much like my mixed CD’s. If you were to look at the list of tv shows you would think that each one of us here (all seven) have picked

two shows each to record. Nope, they are all me. I think if you stick around for at least a year you’ll understand why I chose Random and Odd as my screen

name.

I swear I don’t do it on purpose, but the look Shaun gets on his face when he is forced to listen to my mixed CD’s is classic.
He gets that half stunned, half laugh, slight head shake when the next song comes on.

“Whaaaaaaaa?” I innocently ask. I know though. I know he’s thinking…’you would think she would go with a theme of a cd…all 70′s, mix in some early

80….nope. Maybe all country. Maybe all Punk. Not punk and country…and then THE GAP BAND. fuckin’ weirdo”

I admit it. I can’t make a mixed tape/cd. I can’t even pick a good t.v. show to Tivo.

Any suggestions on a good T.V. show or a cool song I shouldn’t miss?

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08
May
It was good Mother’s Day…
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random






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08
May
Mother’s Day Presents ROUND ONE!
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I left a message on Cat’s Blog about how I wanted toe socks and a shower radio.

HE LISTENS! This is the best mother’s day EVER.

Next week I am going to leave a comment on Cat’s blog about diamonds and a trip to Maui.

I’m going to have to make a masthead for Cat’s blog that says, “Making Mother’s Day wishes come true!”

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07
May
111553396887984172
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


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07
May
Being 12….
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
Okay, since my post the other day where I admit to acting like I was 12…I have been rolling in the fun of being 12.

I had a conversation with Pissy Britches where we (okay, *I*) was being totally immature.

Pissy: “Shut up. You’re kidding right?”
Me: ” No. I think she has a crush on you.”
Pissy: “Shut up Kristine, you’re grossing me out.”
Me: ” SHE WANTS TO LICK YOU!”
Pissy: “shut up Kristine! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW”

and in a completly different conversation with Striz tonight….including a completly different person.

Me: “Well, maybe she has a crush on you.”
Striz: “She’s such a lez. And I’m not drunk.”
Me: “LMAO! I am blogging that!”

I love my online conversations with you guys. I think you really get to see the real me when you chat with me.
You will hear things like, “Neener Neener.” “Nuh-uh” “Hold on, gotta pee!” “OMG…you will not believe what I just read!”

I am so 12 years old. I shouldn’t be allowed to play on the computer past 8:30 pm.

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07
May
Tomorrow will be busy…
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I will be getting my nails done. I will be getting a pampering full body rub down by Sven the cabana boy. I will be

picking out rings and necklaces to adorn my lovely neck and fingers. I will be eating the finest of food at the finest of restuarants.

You all know me too well. I will be cleaning the bedroom, doing laundry and trying to plaster a smile on my face when I get those ADORABLE presents they

make at school (crossing fingers that I don’t get a spray painted shoe)

Anyway, I hope to be spending the day with the girls on a sunny day doing fun stuff like hanging out at the park for a picnic or something. So I am writing this

today instead of tomorrow, because if I am a good mommy…I won’t have my ass planted on this chair during ‘mother’s day’.

I wouldn’t be able to be celebrating mother’s day if I wasn’t knocked up by my ex husband. HAHAHAHAHA. I’ve been wanting to use the words ‘knocked up’

for a long time. Say it, it sounds funny. I got knocked up.

I’m sorry, I’m on cup 3 of coffee and it’s hard to focus.

I want to thank some little people for making me who I am.


THANK YOU KARA!


THANK YOU ALYX!


THANK YOU SHEA!


THANK YOU MARINA AND TYLER


THANK YOU SHAUN. YOU MAKE BEING A MOM EASIER!


THANK YOU CAPTAIN…YOU MAKE BEING A MOM REALLY EASY!

*****
SIDENOTE:
I totally didn’t think about adding my step son my first marriage because even though I have known him since before he was born, because of his mother not

liking me, he wasn’t allowed to get close to me. He did help me become the mother that I am and he taught me a lot about being a ‘step mom’.


THANK YOU RYAN

Also. I have Shaun’s two step children that I love and I call them my step-step children.
Jen is a sweet girl who just got her own place is just starting out on her road.
Dennis is fighting in the war in Iraq. That might be boring to some people, but to me…I’m glued to the news channel to make sure the boy is safe.


THANK YOU JEN & DENNIS!

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13
May
“I am beautiful, no matter what they say…words can’t bring me down.”
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
It dawned on me today that It won’t be as cool when mom shows up at 7th grade and sits in the classroom and takes pictures. I took the opportunity to sneak

in the classroom since I was already at the school for Shea’s ‘birthday lunch’.

I had forgotten how rough sixth grade could be on girls. I remember my whole sixth grade year revolved around wondering if Mrs. Licardo really wore a wig

because of a car accident and the love in my heart for Dewayne Collins.
That’s it. That’s ALL I remember from that whole grade. I remember playing ‘footsie’ under the table during reading with Dewayne Collins and then being

completely ignored by him for the rest of the day.

I also remember the big fucking jacket I wore.



One of the girls in the class wore a similar jacket. She was very sweet and hung out with me while I took pictures. After lunch we made our way to the garden

and I asked her, “So why the jacket? it’s like 90 degrees out here?”
She looked down and said, “Oh I am ALWAYS cold.”
I could pussy-foot around it or I could be me.
“Liar.” I said.
“No really, I’m always cold.”
“I remember why I wore a jacket in 6th grade. I wore it if it was a hundred and twenty degrees out and I was boiling and sweating.” I admitted.
“Why?”
“So boys couldn’t tell I was flat chested.”
She looked down at her chest which was clearly NOT the problem. “Uh. well.” she laughed.

Right about this time the other girl that hangs out with my girls came up and caught the end of conversation.



“You know what they called me in sixth grade?” I offered up my humiliation.
“WHAT?”
“President of the Itty-Bitty Titty committee.”
I had forgot how loud 6th grade girls could laugh and I had the urge to take their heads and bash them together to get them to stop laughing.

The first girl admitted that she wore the jacket because when she walked or ran they bounced and the 6th grade boys were total pervs.
The second admitted that hers were small and the sweatshirt added a sort of padding to hide behind.

We sat on the grass and I talked to the girls. I wanted them to shed the jackets and be comfortable with who they were. I wanted them to see that in a few years

they would slap themselves in the head and say, “How dumb I was!”.
I know one conversation wasn’t going to make a difference though.
The only thing I could think of was this:

“Look, you’re wearing a big ass jacket to cover yours. You’re wearing one to cover the ones you don’t have. So only the people that have the perfect size get

to wear normal clothes?”

They looked at each other and laughed and talked about the size of some of the other girls in the class and how that one girl doesn’t have any, but wears the

huge padded bras. They also pointed out that Kara use to always wear big jackets too. I told them that about 4 months ago I informed Kara that she would

never have boobs. I told her to just except it and enjoy being the Vice President of the Itty Bitty Titty committee.

We sat on the lawn and talked about boobs. The one girl took off her jacket for a few minutes until the boys started to swarm around like flies.
I explained that would happen even when she was 90 years old. She was cursed and no jacket was going to keep her safe from that.

They laughed. I never laughed about my lack of ta-ta’s in 6th grade. I never talked about it to anyone. NO.WAY. to talk about boobies would mean that

someone would look at my chest and someone might yell, “OMG! I NEVER NOTICED IT! YOU HAVE NO TITS!”

I wish our schools had something that helped girls talk about shit like this. They assume that every kid has a mother and father. They assume that every

parent talks to their kids about boobs and lets them know if they will have them or not.
Just a class a week where someone comes in and talks to the girls openly about their body. A class where girls can say, “Why does he play footsie with me

during reading and then ignores me all day long?”

Just once a week to be able to say, “I don’t understand why…” and get some honest answers.

I’ve got the old people, Kathy has the new hair hotline, so someone else take on this mission okay?

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13
May
STUFF portrait Friday
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random

The ugliest thing hanging in my house

Ack! This is the border in my guest-slash-MAIN bathroom. This is the border that matches the lower half of the walls. This is the border that matches the

shower curtain.
When I put it up about 8 years ago, I.LOVED.IT. I thought I was just the most stylin’ Stepford on the block.
Now it just gives me anxiety attacks.
I had some spider webs I was going to post, but I would hate to ruin the pristine image you all have of me.


My haircare products

I couldn’t put my shampoo and conditioner because if my sister saw what I was using she would kick my livin’ ass and I would never hear the end of it.
She asked me why I was using Nioxin and I said, “My hair is falling out.”
She asked me if it was working and I said, “No.”
She asked me WHY I was still using it and I said, “Hope.”
I then got a hair stylist lecture on using it. So, don’t tell her okay?


My most prized material object

This is my mother’s wedding ring. It was her mother’s wedding ring. I’m pretty sure. It could have come from a pawn shop in Reno, NV. for all I know. It was

all I ever wanted growing up and when I finally got old enough my mother gave it to me. I was pretty certain that was the ring I was going to married with, but

Dumb Ass got me and an ex-girlfriend mixed up and bought me the ring he said I had to have…which was the the ring his ex-girlfriend wanted.
It’s okay though because I can still wear it and it has no bad ju-ju. (my mother may beg to differ)

Happy Friday The 13th!

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12
May
Stuff portrait Friday
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
Susie you had a great idea about STUFF portraits. I always feel like a goober posting a picture of myself, but my STUFF is a totally different story. I’m a little

jeebed out about the fridge thing because I swear there is something in there that can talk and makes quick movements when I open the door.

I declare we all (except Susie, unless she wants to) have Stuff portrait Friday.

You guys came up with a kick ass list of things, but I think if I tried to post all those pictures tomorrow I could very well break the internet…No, like really, the

whole internet will just stop while I download 75 – 6.3 MP pictures to flickr and then to blogger.

Go grab your cameras! This Friday (that would be tomorrow):

1. The ugliest thing hanging in your house.
2. Your haircare products
3. Favorite material object

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12
May
A Lushy Idea…
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
Lushy on her blog today said: “I’m generally willing to post a picture of anything except for my credit card number, my atm pin number or my body in various

stages of undress. So if there is anything you would like to see, let me know.”

Great idea! I asked to see her junk drawer, CD collection and favorite vice.

I want to play too! *raising hand* I wanna take pictures of my stuff. I WANNA PLAY!!

What three things do you want to see? I’ll post the pictures tomorrow.

Oh, and the same rules apply…no credit cards (not that you can actually get anything out of them) or body parts in various undress. Please people…you

REALLY don’t want to see that. I didn’t even post the ‘bedroom eyes’ pictures because you guys would just laugh at me trying to be all sexy and shit. I love

SPD, but I can’t pull it off.

“Why does Kristine look like she’s constipated?”
“She’s trying to look sexy. It’s ‘bedroom’ eyes week for SPD”
“How in the hell did she ever have three kids? Men think THAT look is sexy? Dear God.”
“I know…*cringe* …I wonder if a guy has offered her a pain killer after seeing that look.”
“HAHAHHAHAHA.”

Omg…i’m having a imaginary Kristine bashing conversation on my own blog!

Alright…what pictures do you want to see?

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12
May
Open House Part 2
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I read through the comments this morning from the open house post and was laughing so hard!

Misfit said: “Personally, I find that some Sex Pistols or Black Flag works quite well for scaring the Stepfords. Quite well indeed.”

Southern Fried said: “Make sure when you are blasting the song of choice, you are doing the devil horns with your fingers and banging your head around.

You totally have hair that will flip around so that will just add to the effect. :)”

Circus Kelly said: “Oh. My. God. What if we are ALL “good suburban mom” posers?”

Kelly, you hit the nail on the head with that one huh? It’s like a nasty little secret that I listen to AC/DC and would totally go to an Emenem concert if presented

the tickets.

I wonder how many other parents are hiding some old “Suicidal Tendencies” tapes in the garage? How many other parents switch the station from ‘easy rock’

to a burned CD of Limp Bizkit after they drop the kids off to school?
How many of us don’t turn down our ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’ when we pull up to the grocery store because just MAYBE we might be validated by someone

walking by that will nod their head and silently say, “thank you. we aren’t old yet. we are still cool.” that or make them feel like a idiot for having a Simon and

Garfunkle song stuck in their head.



Open house was…rushed. We had to go to 4 kids classes, listen to one kid sing rain forest songs, go through the lost and found, look at pictures and talk to

teachers…and then rush across town to say goodbye to Dennis who leaves for Afghanistan today.

Kara won an award in her art class. She made a town out of our old garbage. You know they are going to send this home with her and we are going to have to

keep that because it’s an AWARD winning piece of art. I think the art teacher hates me.

Shea slipped a little note under her name plate at her desk. If I wasn’t in the middle of a anxiety attack that would knock a normal person to the ground in

seizures, I would have cried. Instead I took a picture and told her I loved her too.

We made it through the whole thing without a single fist fight and since I was moving at light speed the whole time I didn’t notice the other parents at all.

Driving home after dinner, I put in a mixed CD I made for our trip to Disneyland. It had some oldies on there. I was finally mellowing out and starting to relax

when, “Why must I be a teenager in love?” came on. Shaun sang the WHOLE song in his Goofy voice. I swear I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard.

and you have not lived until you have heard him sing, “Highway to Hell” in his Pee-Wee Herman voice.

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12
May
flash at point blank
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px;

}


, originally uploaded by randomandodd.
don’t worry, she should be okay in about a week.

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11
May
Open House…
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random

Now is this the hair of a woman who has her sister’s straight iron? no.

Tonight is “Open House” at the school. Why do they do this to us parents? Haven’t we spent ENOUGH time at that place that now we need to get all gussied

up and mingle with the other parents.

They have drilled it into our children’s head what time it is that they need to be at the school. SIX THIRTY. The kids are chanting the minutes go down. It’s like

the free world is depending on me being there to witness the 2nd grade sing-a-long.

“Mom..mom…mom, look at me and not at the computer.”
“Huh?”
“Open house…it’s at 6:30 tonight.”
“I KNOW.”
“Only 4 hours away Mom. You’re going to shower right?”
“GO AWAY!”

So out of the pink robe and toe socks and into my PTA gear. Khaki’s & striped button up. I have on lots of hairspray and lots of make up. I should fit RIGHT in

with the suburban moms.

Only one hour, thirty-seven minutes left.

I think I’m going to pull up in front of the school blaring “Highway To Hell”.



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11
May
My Mom, The Fonz
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Someone asked about how mom got her name.

I was talking about Shaun’s parents and how they are cool, but not as cool as my mom. My mom is like the Fonz kind of cool and Shaun’s parents are The

Cunninghams kind of cool.

I get a phone call from my mom with her just ALL a glow that I said she was like the Fonz. I told Shaun how much mom loves it and he made her a picture of

her AS THE FONZ.

She only embraces the fact that she is the Pope when she wants something.
“BUT KRISTINE! I AM THE POPE! YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR ME! I.AM.THE.POPE.”
Yes, my mother is the Pope too. She beat out Samuel L. Jackson at the very end.
(ob: shaun’s blog)

CLICK HERE to find out more about the people in this blog

CLICK HERE to read The Fonz’s blog

CLICK HERE to read Shaun’s Blog

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11
May
*raising eyebrow*
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random
no. i don’t have your straight iron. i also don’t have the ring YOU FOUND, but blamed me for taking. i don’t have your teeth whitener things.

i’m 33 years old and my sister still claims i take her stuff…and I live like 3 hours away!

i can just hear her talking to the cops if Kevin ever came up missing, “Well, it might be my sister..”

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10
May
American Idol at R & O’s house
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


I imagine having this American Idol party and inviting my mom, sister, ‘Cita, Shaun & Cat over and just watch them talk to the television during American

Idol.
Shaun not only TALKS to the contestants, he taunts them. This picture is him telling Anthony that he is FederOFF tomorrow night.

“You listening to me? YOU hear ME?…YOUR OFF!” and then the kids join in and begin taunting of the boy. Then Shaun starts singing. This is when the night

gets good.



This is Shaun mimicking Vonzell crying. He saw the pictures after I uploaded them and he said he looks retarded in every picture. Hmmmm. wonder why that

is?



I’ve mentioned before that the D70 has a beam that shoots out of the camera and will burn a hole DIRECTLY in your soul…and blind & numb you for several

minutes. This is a picture I have of EVERY single person I have ever taken a picture of. They all say, “That is one fucked up flash!” and I then have to tell

them, “actually that’s not even the flash.”

If you love your family and friends and treasure their vision…Don’t buy the Nikon D70.

If you have an evil side like me that likes to watch people squirm in pain with just the click of button…go buy the Nikon D70 !!!

19
May
SPD THURSDAY
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun

Kings Game 11.04

SELF portrait Thursday. This week theme via HDL was ‘self with guest’. I have already posted about 68 pictures of me, the fonz, and mom’s second favorite

daughter on this blog so I figured since he loved me enough to spend time writing the FOURTY REASONS HE LOVES ME (Click that, it’s a must read)
I can post a picture of us.

I hate pictures of myself, but I love you Shaun!

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18
May
Queen In The Backseat
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats
Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

This little video was taken Jan 01, 2005

I have seen some pretty funny ass shit on the internet, but i’m sorry, nothing beats this video in my books.

God I love having weird kids…and a weird boyfriend.

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18
May
111643148480648213
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

The girls were getting ready for school this morning and I was bound and determined to do that video blog thing.

They decided that if Mommy was going to put them on the internet it had to be for ‘hand game’ thing they do ALL THE TIME.

I tried to get everything into ONE video, but once you get them on the hand game they are lost to you.

and yes, I told my children that they suck in this video…someone call CPS.

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18
May
I suck at Bingo
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: shea

by SheaLeih.
I don’t even know why I keep going.

Anyway, I stole that picture from Shea.
If you hadn’t heard, she broke her camera…and then tried to lie to me about it.

“It was wike that when I opened it up. I pwomise.”

“Shea. The flash is cracked and the battery and card holder is smashed!”

*Shrug* “I downt know.”

I threatened bodily harm if she didn’t tell me the twuth..er..truth. She fessed up and we had to call paw-paw to tell him what she did to the camera he bought

her a year ago. So for her birthday this year he got her a new camera. *rolling eyes* Spoiled brat.

Well then Alyx made a sly comment about not owning a camera so my dad ordered her a camera today.

YES PEOPLE I KNOW. We have a problem. There will now be 10 digital cameras in this house next week.

SPF – I made a little thingy do bob to put on the left hand side of the blog, directly under the crazy lady with the camera attached to her face. See it? (look to

your left and up a little bit) I will post the upcoming things for us to take snap shots of.

Upcoming this FRIDAY:

Your “Relaxing” place
Your Medicine Cabinet
Souvenir from a great trip

Bonus points if your souvenir is a bottle of something relaxing you have in your medicine cabinet!!

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17
May
Little Goodbyes
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy
Just to add to the reasons of why my family is just not quite right and how my sister is just one evil bitch on wheels, I am going to tell you about the black

underwear.

About 4 years ago my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the weekend so we could go to a Raider’s game. When she left I found a pair of what I

believed was her husband’s underwear. They were black with a grey waistband that said “Haines”.

To figure out the mystery I had to call her.

“Kathy did Kev leave a pair of underwear here?”
“I don’t think so, what do they look like.”
I went on to describe them and to tell her that I had never seen them before this weekend.
She assured me that they weren’t Kevin’s.

I threw the underwear away.

The next weekend they were down again for the playoff Raider game and this time she brought her son and my other brother, Barry.
A few weeks later I stumbled on the underwear again and I called Kathy to tell her about the underwear. She assured me that they didn’t belong to Kevin or

anyone else in the family.

“Screw it, I’m throwing them away…AGAIN.”

I swear on everything that is holy that I was cleaning my bedroom a few weeks later and the underwear were in my pile of clothes!

I did what every freaked out possessed underwear owner would do. I called my mommy.

My mom has this laugh she does. She can’t get away with shit because her laugh gets her caught every time.
“Kathy keeps taking them out of your trash and putting them back in your drawer.”

It was about four years ago that this little ‘war’ started between my sister and I.
Those underwear have been back and forth from my house to my sisters more times than I can count on my hands and feet.
They have been hidden in every place in each house and they have been given as presents and used for blackmail pictures while my sister was passed out

after a night of birthday celebrating.

The top ‘underwear’ hiding was when she wrapped them up in a Starbucks bag with a half a bag of split peas and gave them to me as a present for my

birthday. I didn’t open the ‘coffee’, but thanked her and then put it in the freezer. Two weeks later my friend was making a pot of coffee and pulled out the

underwear from the bag.
“Kristine, are these those underwear your sister and you keep leaving at each other’s house?”
“WHERE DID YOU FIND THOSE?”

She held up the bag and the half frozen underwear.

“That bitch! She owes me a pound of coffee!”

Right now she has the underwear. I think.

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16
May
111629477475254629
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


This isn’t an interview. It’s not even a ‘shout out’.
I had a bad day today. The damn dog started it all.
Then everything else started and the day just turned out shitty.

Then I went to Greenthumbs blog. I don’t know why, but he calms me.
99% of you go there and comment too and your words soothe me.

So this is just a thank you. It’s a thank you for being here in blogland with us Greenthumb.

We are all so lucky to have you.

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16
May
video STRIZ style…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Everyone go check out Striz’s blog, The Fat Housewife.
She found a way for us to get video on our blogs!

I have been trying to figure that one out for awhile and couldn’t find a way that wouldn’t cost me or wouldn’t install spyware on my computer.

Due to the damn poodle chasing a golden friggin’ retriever, my knee and hip are all jacked up today so I might have to self medicate. Who KNOWS what sort

of video’s you’ll be seeing later!

I haven’t tried it, but hell — if Strizzay can figure it out, it can’t be THAT hard ;)

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15
May
111621821024367955
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


Olive, the lady I help from the retirement center made Shea’s cake for her 7th birthday. It turned out pretty good, from the look of the cake plates at the end of

the night.
As I was driving home with the cake I started remember the years of birthday cakes that were made by my grandma. White fluffy cakes with cool-whip and

strawberries all over it. Shut up, I made myself cry.



I got her that ‘get up’ for her birthday. She loved it. Pink and crazy…just like my baby girl.
She loved the feather fan & pink purse (that I scored in the clearance center for $2.20 at Target)



She got a ‘baby Bratz’ doll. She hugged the box and then used the bag as a hat.



Miss Lisa, my beautiful friend that I love oodles and oodles, got Shea a beta fish. She has always wanted a fish and what ever Shea wants, Miss Lisa gets

her…because according to Miss Lisa, Shea is a perfect angel. Her perfect angel.

Shea couldn’t figure out what to name her new fish until we were on our way home talking about fish names and then Shea says, “parlez-vous le français ”
Kara said, “That means, ‘do you speak french?’ you can’t name your fish THAT!”

Shea named her fish, parlez-vous le français. Of course she pronounces it, ‘polly fru fran-say’



I hope all your wishes come true baby-girl.

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15
May
Happy 7th Birthday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: shea


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13
May
“I felt so symbolic yesterday…”
Posted By: Random and Odd  //  Category: Random


At school on Friday while I was eating lunch with Shea one of the little girls asked a strange question.
“What hospital was Shea born at?”
I seriously almost teared up. A lot of you have kids that are still wee-little ones. My wee little one is SEVEN on Sunday.
That question brought me RIGHT back to the day I had her though…which, i’m serious as a heart attack…was just yesterday.
Grab your camera and take pictures of hands and toes. Take a big deep breath when you give him or her a kiss because they aren’t always going to smell like

babies. Go record them babbling. IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY!

The little girl waited for my stupid answer that was followed by the same words of wisdom I just gave you. She then said, “Mrs. Stone…I really like your

necklace.”

I looked down at the Nikon and said, “Thank you sweetie.”

Yes. I realized it. I have a problem. Greenthumb, book me a ticket to Seattle. It might do me good to hand this camera over for a couple days and let someone

else get crazy in the head.

Alyx also said tonight during…I don’t even know what to call it…a Shea meltdown? WW3? Battle of the wills?
“OMG mom this is so funny! You are going to blog this right?”
“No honey, when something this funny happens I let Shaun blog about it.”

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23
May
Go grab the kids!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

My sister already went and watched the video. I put a link over there to the right of ‘random and odd’s video’. She let the cat out of the bag so I figured I would

post the video of Shaun singing Goofy.

You know he’s going to break up with me over this right? I will be single again after today so if there are any single guys out there that have warm bellies and

can put up with me and 3 girls…just leave me a message. ;)

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22
May
He calls it a ‘teaser’
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun
on the way out to The Cunningham’s house for lunch today I turned on the radio. Shaun does this thing where he can sing virtually ANY song as Goofy or

Mickey Mouse. It’s a sure fire way to get me to laugh. I mean, how can you resist a good looking man singing to the woman he loves as Goofy? You can’t.

Tom Petty came on and he started belting it out as Goofy. I grabbed the camera and hit record. The bitch STOPPED SINGING. He wouldn’t do it for me. I

pleaded. I offered sexual favors. I promised to stop stealing the covers and to always remember to put the smoked cigs IN the ash tray and not the cracks of

the sidewalk. NOTHING. He was not giving in.

I told him, “Fine, i’m going to blog this. You being a big ol’ poopy head (or I might have said dick…I can’t remember). He didn’t care. He knows how many

people come here to see the girls with paper sticking out of their mouths because they bit their tongue, his belly shots, him dressed up as a blood drip and

random pictures of shoes or a picture of my toe rings. He was NOT going to sing Tom Petty as Goofy. He put his foot down.

Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

So here we have Shaun PUTTING HIS FOOT DOWN.

Tomorrow you get to see the footage of him actually singing Goofy though…yeah, I got my way. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go dress up as a Catholic

school girl and see if I can get a better grade on a test ;)

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22
May
Treasure Hunt
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, marina


So this Thursday we rented a limo for Kara and Marina for a scavenger/treasure hunt.

Now don’t be thinking we are all rich and spoil the hell out of our children. The ex rented the limo because we have talked about doing this for Kara for years

because her DREAM is to ride in a limo.
I also SUCK at birthday parties. I really can’t pull it together long enough to plan the things and she really hasn’t had a birthday party in several years. I’m

hoping that someday when they are taking about the cool birthday parties they have had, Kara can say, “Yeah, well I didn’t get birthday parties that often…but

mom kicked ass at surprises and slumber parties!”

Each girl got to invite 4 people. The limo will pick up the girls at the end of the day AT SCHOOL…AND THEY ROLL OUT A RED CARPET! Each girl will get a

red rose too.

Now I have the first part of the ‘treasure hunt’ planned out, but like I said…I kinda suck at these kind of things.

Any ideas?

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22
May
August95 out of surgery
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


One of our own is in the hospital. She had heart valve replacement surgery.

August95 has been a commenter on my blog (and some of yours) for awhile and she’s a feisty one. She’s an inspiration. I don’t think I could be so brave.

Her sister is keeping us updated on her progress. Please if you have a second, click on over to her site and send her a get well message for when she gets

home and is recovering.

GET WELL AUGUST! we miss your blog and nice comments!!

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21
May
You asked…are we ever serious?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Shaun

Greenthumb asked in my comments one day if there is ever a serious moment with us?

Today we went to the park to picnic and then decided it would be fun to cruise through the model homes and take pictures.

This is Shaun levitating.

Does this answer your question?

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20
May
“They were JUST graduating from PRE-SCHOOL!”
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, marina, My Brats


It was the 6th grade dance tonight. It’s was more like the ‘you’re graduating from 6th grade and going into 7th…now go meet the hundreds of kids you’re

going to be thrown into middle school with.”

Kara doesn’t have a boyfriend, but her best ‘guy’ friend is Kyle. They went to preschool together, lived next door to each other…they “get” each other and so

it was fitting when neither had a date to go with each other.

And me being me…took a couple hundred pictures. No really, It was like 270 pictures. I can’t even imagine prom night.

Before I get to the pictures…please say a quick prayer for August95 and maybe go to her site and wish her well for when she gets home from the hospital.
If you’re reading this August…*big ol’ hug* Get Well Soon Girl!

Disclaimer to these pictures: I know, I know..I am SCREWED when they are teenagers.


Spitting image of my Sister






Spitting image of me. I claim all of these girls as my own!


Shake your grove thang!


I know…I am so going to be having to carry a big gun in my purse!

Hope you’re all having a great weekend!

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20
May
Stat Tracker…I will not go to the dark side…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I got my first comment troll. It wasn’t bad like some of the ones I have read. I responded and I’m going to leave it at that. I kinda got excited because it usually

doesn’t take this long for someone to take what I say the wrong way and get pissed. This is record for me!

Anyway. Stat tracker records all the IP addresses and where the person that just happened to cruise by this site. It logs the time, what kind of computer

system you’re using and even what resolution your monitor is set to. It’s friggin’ AMAZING.

So comment trolls…Beware. I have IP addresses. I have locations. I know if you’re using FIREFOX OR IE. I’m not going to post this information. I think that’s

just jacked up…but really if you’re going to be a poopyhead to someone, make sure they don’t have a degree in computer science and Stat Tracker.

If you don’t have Stat Tracker, you can go get it…see there is a link to the right that if you click on it you can go get it. If you have problems installing the

code into your blog, just let me know and I will help. AND JUST TO BE CLEAR…I DIDN’T DESIGN THE STAT TRACKER!

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20
May
Stuff Portrait Friday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday


This is a chair right outside my front door. I’m a smoker and this is where I go to ‘relax’. There is NO place IN my house that is quiet that I can go and the kids

can’t bother me. If I am sitting outside the front door, i’m on the phone and I’m smoking like a grilled cheese on fire. LEAVE ME ALONE.

(I also used this picture because Flickr isn’t working so well tonight and I don’t have a picture of my friend, ‘Cita’s couch. That is the most relaxing place in

the world. Except for Maui)



I can relax here too. This is like the second most relaxing place for me. Am I breaking rules by posting two pictures?



Oh crap, I am TOTALLY breaking rules here! I’m sorry. I like to relax and how can you beat a latte and a pack of smokes?



Damn, I’m going to have to kick myself out of the SPF game for posting to many of my favorite relaxing places!
I love this belly. I crawl into bed and put my cold hands right there. Oooooh the relaxation!

Okay…the longest trip I ever went on was college. So below is the best souvenir I ever have ever gotten.



I got that bad ass sickness that went around about six months ago and I was pretty certain I was going to die. I had taken EVERYTHING in the medicine

cabinet to try to feel better and it didn’t matter HOW much I took, I was still sick…so here is my medicine cabinet…layed out for you all to see:



Sorry I didn’t get to take the pictures today and post them. DAMN FLICKR.

Did everyone else play? Comment cause I wanna see your stuff!

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19
May
How to FUCKING annoy me!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I like to make blogs pretty. I try REALLY hard to make sure that the blog fits the person, and if the blog DOESN’T fit the person, I try to get it tweaked so it

does. I was working on a surfer one yesterday and ACK. the font was wrong, the colors couldn’t be changed. I was getting annoyed fast. I want it to work so

badly though because it will look SO cool.

I have about 3 blogs in the works right now. My garage if full of half pimped blogs. Some have coding errors, some need new banners and I have few with

parts that don’t match. If your blog is in my garage…I swear I am working on it! I’m just a bit picky about how things need to look.

So I went on a mission yesterday to find some parts (templates) to fit the pimping I am doing.
I never claim to MAKE the templates. I give ALL credit to Mela (and the others) for the ones she allows me to tweak. I always leave the credits and link back to

the original designer. THATS THE RULES PEOPLE! anyway, Mela is an awesome coding person and the blogs she makes are easy to install and you don’t

really need my help to put one of her blogs templates up.

ANYWAY…yes, there is a point to this. I am SO annoyed today because I requested this blog template from this CERTAIN designer who will go nameless

because I’m not going to give her free traffic. I got an email today saying that she isn’t letting me have it.
I WAS DENIED!

Well, LA TEE FRIGGIN DA!

I sent her an email back saying, “That’s okay I found a better one anyway.”

Someday I will grow up.

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19
May
111652154380552121
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy, The Fonz


I called mom after American Idol last night. Kathy and her best friend from high school was there.
Mom isn’t your typical mom, she doesn’t pull out the photo album and show pictures…no, she pulls out her labeled folders on her computer and does a slide

show for you.

“AWWWWWWWWWWw, look at that one! That’s a great picture!” Kathy’s friend would say.
“You know, I can fix it where she’s standing next to Mel Gibson.” Mom informs her.
“Oooohhhh.” She is amazed.

As I am on the phone talking to Kathy’s friend from High School about how cute I was when I was little…I hear this faint, ‘oh I should blog this picture.’

Now you all know how much I love my sister, but right now I am putting to words how much love that woman has for me. She said, “OH GOD NO MOTHER.

KRISTINE WILL KILL YOU.”

I couldn’t hear EXACTLY what was going on because, and this is just a guess, there was some drinking going on with Kathy’s friend and she was a chitter-

chattering, but I did hear: “blog this” and “NO MOTHER”

FRANTICLY I am trying to talk over Kathy’s friend, “WHAT? WHAT?? WHAT PICTURE KATHY??!!” chatter-chatter-chatter…”KATHY??? TALK TO ME GOOSE!

WHAT PICTURE!!?”

Kathy’s friend is a non-blogger. She could be a non-computer person for all I know, but she was talking and there was no stopping her because she was on a

roll. How do you tell someone who doesn’t blog to “SHUT UP SO I CAN HEAR WHAT PICTURE THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT!”? you can’t. You be polite and

silently wet yourself on the chairs in the front yard while you wait for your fate to be determined.

“Oooh I could put some flowers around her neck.”
“Mom, no…Seriously.” she says and I hear Kathy in the background yell over her friend chatter, “THE ONE IN YOUR BATHING SUIT.”

I begin to rolodex every picture my mother has of me in my head. OH FUCKING NO! not the one in the backyard!

Then I hear Kathy say, “THE ONE IN THE BACKYARD.”

I love my mother. You all know I love that woman. In my head last night I beat the living shit out of her.
I’m surprised my neighbors didn’t come over and check on me last night when I yelled into the white phone, “IF YOU POST THAT PICTURE MOTHER I

SWEAR I WILL RIP THAT BLOG OUT FROM UNDER YOU SO FAST YOUR HEAD WILL SPIN! YOU WILL NO LONGER BE THE FONZ!”

She laughed. This wasn’t the ‘i know something you don’t know’ laugh…it was the ‘oh yeah, TRY IT’ laugh.

I ran into the house, “SHAUN, GO TO MY MOM’S BLOG! NOW!”

The tingling in my hands finally went away when I saw she just posted a lame picture of me when I was 11.

Just to spiteful she emailed me the picture she was GOING to post.

If you all suddenly go to The Fonz’s blog and it’s not up…you all know why.

She’s got an evil streak a mile wide.

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27
May
I got a limo…I ride in the back.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, marina, My Brats


There, I flipped the picture so you can read the shirt. Sorry mom I should have thought of that before I posted the picture. I just figured with our dislexia you

would TOTALLY read it fine ;)

THE LIMO SCAVENGER TREASURE HUNT

It was craziness getting all the envelopes dropped off for the hunt, but my friend ‘Cita and I managed to pull it all together. There were a few moments where I

was pretty sure she was just going to smack me in the head.

“OMG! I LOST THE ENVELOPES FOR THE LAST STOP!” I franticly tried to remember if I left TWO sets of envelopes at the mall. I reread Shaun’s instructions

and realized, “Oh yeah…this is the place I pick up the fortune cookies and leave the clues IN them.”

The limo was waiting outside the school when the kids got out and OH the excitement! All the other kids stared and talked with each other.

“Is there someone FAMOUS in there?”
“I wanna go for a ride!”
“Awwww!that’s not fair!!”
(I still say all those things when I see a limo too!)

I wanted to be obnoxious, but once the limo got there and the girls started bubbling with excitement I was swept up in their excitement and all I could do is

thank the limo driver for ever single thing he did.



Keep in mind I told the girls about this ‘end of the year party’ about 3 months ago. I told them to invite 4 of their friends. I told them there might be a limo,

pizza, mall…the works. The whole class knew about this party that was going to happen and a good majority of them wanted to go.
You would think that this would be an opportunity for the girls to worm their way into the popular girls crowd.
When the girls (and 2 boys) walked up to get in the limo my heart swelled with pride.

My girls didn’t pick a single girl from the popular crowd. They stuck to the friends that had been their friends all year long.



The popular girls came over to the limo and peeked in to say ‘HI, CALL ME.’ and once the windows went up and the car started to pull away the inside of the

limo reached a level of noise I didn’t think was humanly possible! We blared Green Day and started out the hunt!



The scavenger/treasure hunt kicked ass! Shaun…thank you!
They figured out the clues pretty quickly.

I realized that Kara could be no one else’s daughter but my own when we were in the limo and she’s got a glass of apple cider in one hand and is working the

stereo with the other while everyone else is trying to figure out the clues.



We ended up at the mall and had some ice cream and hung out. Then the limo brought us back for pizza. Then at the end of the party Kara got to arrive at her

softball game in a limo!
None of the children wanted to home so I drug half of them to the softball game THAT KARA’S TEAM WON! and then after that we ended up at the pool.



It was an awesome day for the girls and now they get to spend all day today telling everyone about the day they had.

She doesn’t read my blog, but ‘Cita…THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP! I COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!

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26
May
THANK YOU TORRIE!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Torrie @ iprettymuchhateeveything.blogspot.com sent me this shirt for doing her blog and helping her out with some other little things. I LOVE YOU! I love

this shirt.

CHECK LIST:

Big hair – CHECK
big obnoxious ring – CHECK
BAMF – OF COURSE! CHECK
Joan River’s voice – OH DAWLING! CHECK!
Scavenger hunt stuff – Shit, I knew I forgot something!

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26
May
BIG DAY!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random
Today is the Limo day for Kara and Marina.

Shaun put the scavenger hunt stuff together (I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SHAUN!)

I have to take a shower and get all gussied up because i’m going to have someone take a picture of me! I have a cool new shirt and I want to show it off. I bet

my boobs will look good in it too. (Shaun said my posts should have more ‘teasers’…or maybe he said tweasers…I don’t really listen to him)

So I had a CLASSIC DUMB ASS moment at the softball game yesterday.
I’m so lame.

I was sitting on the bench and I hear some of the other parents talking and one asks the other,
“and who’s your daughter?”
and the older gentleman says, “Oh, i’m here to watch Kara. My daughter is Jordan and she’s friends with Kara.”
I turn around and I ask the man LOUDLY, “YOUR JORDAN’S DAD?” LOUDLY, did I mention how LOUD I was?
He says, “Yes.” you will not believe what I said LOUDLY.

“HI! I’M JORDAN’S MOM!” *note to new readers…i am NOT Jordan’s mom.

Yes…I did. Shut up. Of course Shaun and the ex and EVERYONE starts in on the jokes.
and just to make it worse, I didn’t realize what I had said until the laughter started so I tried to explain, “Kara’s mom, i’m Kara’s mom!!” but it was

TOOOOOOO late, the whole bench of parents were having WAY too much fun with that one.

My friend, ‘Cita looked over at me and said so calmly, “You’re blogging this right?”

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25
May
I totally owe you all a big ol’ hug!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
You prayed. You sent out good vibes. You sent emails. You picked me up and dusted me off.

Today he handed the taxes over to an attorney who is going to handle all the tax stuff.
Today, by the skin of my teeth, I got financial help from a company that does this ‘once a year’ thing that if you have an outstanding bill they help you with it.
I had an outstanding gas bill that needed to be paid…and quick.

Your prayers and words of encouragement helped me. My mom, the Fonz always says, “The power of prayer girl.”
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I didn’t think it would happen so quickly, but it all came together today and I can finally sleep tonight and not be afraid of

tomorrow.

Kara won her game tonight. She is one of 9 runs that came in to win the game. I went to the game tonight with a clear head, free of anxiety and fear. Thank you

guys! THANK YOU.

Kara on 3rd base coming home
JussPress.com

Tomorrow: Limo. Scavenger hunt. SPD.

I’m not sure what Self Portrait day is tomorrow so you’ll all get a post of me around 6:30 pm (CALIFORNIA TIME- THREE HOUR DIFFERENCE) sporting my

new shirt Torrie sent me.

Don’t forget STUFF portrait Friday…Fridge, Purse, Religious Symbols.

I can breathe. Thank you again.

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25
May
THREE HOUR DIFFERENCE PEOPLE!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I knew I shouldn’t have checked my blog or CATS BLOG before I turned on the TV.

Oh well.

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25
May
You tell ‘em Henry!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
The day is cold, and dark, and dreary
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I read on someone’s blog (forgive me, I read a million this morning and I can’t remember) the serenity prayer. I needed to hear it today. It’s almost half way

through the day, it’s boiling hot and I had to venture out to talk to legal people about legal stuff.
I kept the CHIN UP and just counted the blessings as I went along.

1. I have a car to get me where I am going.
2. I have air conditioner in the van.
3. Where ever I end up, I will get help and answers.
4. Karma. Karma will come back and kick someone’s ass for this.
5. Shaun will walk through that door at 4:37 like he does everyday.
6. Bo will win American Idol tonight.

The mistakes I made years ago in that attorney’s office…wash. I have someone that is going to come home to me tonight, kiss me on the forehead, talk to my

kids, put together a scavenger hunt that can’t be beat and at night he’s going to be laying there looking at my raggity ass self and say I am beautiful and he

loves me.

The ex. He doesn’t.

I mean, yeah…Shaun did kiss the ex on the forehead and tell him he was beautiful that ONE time, but both of them were really drunk.

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25
May
it’s a new day…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Let me start with, THANK YOU.
To the commenters that come here everyday and say hello.
To the lurkers that came out to say, ‘it will be okay’
To Shaun for staying home even though he KNEW I wouldn’t REALLY drink that bottle of Drano.
To Tyler who weeded the backyard and I can open my window right here and see how much we need to do…but how much we have already done.
and Thank you for the makers of xanax. I might have lost handfuls of hair yesterday in the shower, but I still have SOME hair left and I’m pretty sure it’s

because I was saved from 14 different anxiety attacks.

Everytime I picked up the phone yesterday to call one more attorney I started to cry. I frustrated half of the people I talked to and made the other half cry.

BUT, I reread all your comments this morning and with my CHIN UP and my blessings counted I start a new day.
I promise not to make any more receptionists cry today. I promise not to scream at the tax guy and say, “BUT HE DOESN’T LIVE HERE!”. I will cancel the

oversized order of rat poison I purchased on Ebay and stop reading my “How to get Even” book I have owned since 4th grade.

It’s a new day today.

Torrie bought me something I can’t wait to share with you all, but I can’t today because i’m saving it for tomorrow when the girls go on the scavenger hunt IN

A LIMO!

As I was pulling away from the school after dropping off set 2 of children I realized how much of a ass I am going to look like tomorrow. Just to perpetuate it,

i’m going to do my hair all big and wear all my fake diamonds and talk like Joan Rivers!

I might suck at birthday parties, but when those kids come walking out and see 10 kids climbing into a limo….oh yeah, I WILL BE FORGIVEN!

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24
May
and all that other crap I should have mentioned…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: ex
It’s been six years that the first papers were filed to start the divorce processes.
I knew going into court where I stood and how much child support and custody I would have. I was scared, but I was going to be okay.

A week before our court hearing my ‘exhusband’ got a phone call and was informed that his brother had killed himself. This drew us together long enough to

get his affairs in order to go to the funeral and still be back for the court hearing. I stayed with him and made sure that everything was going to be fine.

Going into court we actually rode together. We sat in my attorney’s office and talked about what the courts were going to award each parent and what each

attorney was going to ask for. I was scared because I KNEW where I stood. I was going to get most of the custody and a shit load of child support. My ex, who

had done nothing…didn’t want the divorce in the first place…who had just lost his brother, was going to be handing over pretty much everything he had spent

his life working for. When he was handed the support judgment he looked at me as if I was Satan. I asked if we could have a moment alone and we went into

the conference center and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and he said, “I can’t do this.”
and then pretty much made it sound like he would do exactly what his brother had done.

I went back into the office and I sat down with the two attorneys and I said, “He gets 50% custody and I don’t want alimony…and take the amount of child

support and cut it in half.”
My attorney turned about 100 shades of red. His attorney grinned from ear to ear.

My attorney told me, “Someday Kristine…you are going to regret this and you’re going to call me crying because you just made the biggest mistake of your

whole life!”

That day has happened more times than I care to admit. I never called her though, but I called her this morning.

After the beginning phases of the divorce we hit this road block. Both his attorney and my attorney were fed up with us. Dan and I got along fine. We just had

this sticking point we couldn’t get past. The house…and the 401k. Both had several hundred thousand dollars in it. I wanted either one or other. Dan wanted

both.
I wanted his insurance, he wanted me as a tax right off. It seemed like a good idea to not finish the divorce so both of us could essentially ‘use’ the other.

He lost his job and I had no insurance so I began pushing for him to finish the divorce. The more I pushed for him to do it, the more reasons he came up to

NOT finish it. “The attorney is too much…The court was closed when I went up there….”
and I am so lazy that I didn’t push hard enough.

Then I met Shaun. I decided it was time to really just start taking care of these things. I needed to get my taxes done, get my own care in my name, get Dan’s

name off this house, and …Embarrassingly I admit this….finish my divorce.

And here is where the Xanax part of my life comes into effect….I opened Dan’s mail from the IRS yesterday. I don’t normally do this, but as of late I have been

getting a lot of letters for him. This CAN’T be good.

I won’t go into the details of how truly fucked I am right now. I am truly fucked because I was lazy and didn’t finish what I should have finished YEARS ago. I

might lose EVERYTHING I own because I didn’t follow through on things I was told to follow up on.

So here is my crash test dummy comment of the day, “If someone tells you to do something because you will look back and regret the living shit out of it

later…just do it. Don’t worry about how the other person’s life will turn out because you never know what is going to happen.”

I was so scared that my ex would lose everything if I just didn’t give in a little. Now he has nothing to lose, and I might lose everything.

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23
May
Everything is going to be ALL RIGHT
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety


I read a lot of blogs today. I didn’t comment too much though as I was feeling sorta ‘blah’ for some reason. I swear I need to cut down on my “Extreme Home

Makeover” editions.

Someone in a blog said that we only let people see what we want them to see. Very true. I hide the pictures of the part of my house where the baseboards

aren’t on because it looks totally ghetto. You will never see how much clothes liter my bedroom floor. NEVER see my shower door (I hate soap scum, but

can’t get it off)
You won’t see me naked. You won’t see me in the backyard IN MY BIKINI….did you hear that mom? You will also never know how disorganized I really am,

how many nights I wake up out of nightmares, and if you are really lucky you will never know how scared I am every day of my life.

I have a lot of ‘unfinished’ business that I need to take care of.
I took care of my taxes this year. I finally bought my own car. There is just some things in my life that have been left half done and those things are coming

back to haunt me. Haunt me in a really big way.

I took Kalki’s advice from her blog today and I wrote a list. I wrote down all the things I need to do to finally take control of my life. I sometimes lack a lot of

things, but I never lack HOPE. Those four letters have gotten me through a lot of really hard times. I hoped my way right over to the medicine cabinet and

grabbed me a Xanax.

Then after a phone call to my ex where I calmly told him what I needed to tell him, I got up out of bed and logged on to the computer. Torrie was online and

she informed me that she sent me something. It took some detective work (oh who am I kidding, she told me) but I found out. Thank You Torrie.

If there is one thing I want from all of this is for you to know how much you all really do mean to me. You have really been there for me and I am grateful to

have each one of you here to leave comments, joke with me, or just say, “hi. i lurk, but I am here.” you are my friends, my family, my therapist, my gardener,

my sounding board.

Send me some “Hope” people…I just need a little bit more to get through this! :)

When i’m feeling brave enough, I’ll tell you all about it.

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23
May
Stuff Portrait Friday – May 27th
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday
I updated the SPF list for next friday.

This gives you a week to dust off the religious symobols, pictures or statues.
This gives you a week to clean out your fridge.
And remove the crack pipes from your purses.

There are never any rules to this game. It’s just all fun. If you want to post a picture of your purse hanging on a cross in the freezer…have at it. What ever

floats your boat. If you’re a guy, just show us a picture of your butt…er…where your wallet is….or your wife’s purse because we know you ALWAYS put your

stuff in our purses when we are out and about.

Since I’m single again I think I’m going to get a picture of JOHN STAMOS and start my ritual chanting to see if I get a date with him. That will be my religious

picture ;)

I love you Kalki!! heee heee!!

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31
May
Open Letter to Shaun…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun


Going to ‘Cita’s after I make the kids do their chores. I will run out of these (look up…not that far up), will you get me some more when you go to the store to

get stuff to make me more chicken enchiladas? Yes, I realize you JUST made me some a couple of days ago…but it’s YOUR FAULT for making them taste so

good.

We need dental floss too. All we have are McDonald’s straws and they are HORRIBLE at getting chicken enchiladas out of your teeth!

Oh, and toilet paper too. sorry. 5 girls in one house.

And, i’m sorry I have NO good ideas for your T-Shirt store.
I think in binary and codes and most people just don’t think that’s funny.

No one would buy, “I burnt my hair with a soldering iron” t-shirt…even though I think it’s hysterical.

Do you still love me?

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31
May
Cushing Disease & AdSense
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Has anyone had any personal experience with this disease?

If so please email or comment as soon as possible.

(this is a question for my friend who is really worried)

ADSENSE UPDATE:
On March 8th I started the Google AdSense thing and thought, “ooh, we can have a monthly donation to a charity…that would be cool!”
For our first month we picked “March of Dimes”

It’s now almost June and I have 13.37 total. They don’t cut the check until you’re at 25.00. At this rate I am stuck with Google AdSense on my blog for another

3 months.

Someone (is you greenthumb?) has this program up and calling it the D70 FUND. Yes…awesome! Great idea…except by the time you get enough money for

it..you’ll be too old to use it or the camera will be discontinued!!

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31
May
Dear God, NOT SUMMER YET!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random


“The Boys are back in Town”
I keep having this song run through my head because the neighbor boy who lives in a different state is here for the summer and when he’s in town EVERY 10

-15 year old is in the court I live in and they are at SOMEONE’S house…playing video games, swimming or eating everything they can find!

My friend, Lisa was eaten out of house and home last summer. She use to have padding under her carpet, but after having all those kids sleep over all

summer it has been worn down to just the fiber.

They came swarming in last night. I wasn’t ready for it either. I was like a cat that was being rushed by a really big dog.
I jumped up in my computer chair and started hissing.

“What? What? What’s going on?”
“Nuthin’ just going to play video games.” the boy said as he was followed by more boys and girls following the boys.

IT’S SUMMER ALREADY? Noooo!

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30
May
Shaun’s been busy
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun
He is finally taking his warped mind to the masses.

You realize if he actually sells something I will never hear the end of it?

Do you realize that if we ever see anyone actually wearing one of his shirts that I will NEVER find a pillow for his big, fat head?

Go check out his CafePress site.

He’s taking requests too.

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30
May
just in case i forget later
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography
I bought this filter for my camera and I keep questioning myself about this filter because I don’t know a damn thing about them. I remember back in the day if

I used a red filter with black and white film it made the picture sharper. That’s it.

So I was suckered into buying this filter, because the guy showed me a couple of tricks with it. I’m a total impulse buyer. “ooooh look, sour apple gum!”



This is the shot before with the polarizer on the light side.



EXACT same picture with the polarizer rotated to the dark side.

Cool huh?

Anyway..spent the day with the ex and kids and went to Six Flags Marine World. I know, I know…”How could she spend the day with him after all the shit?”
Well, 2 little girls that don’t go on rollercoasters and two older kids that do.
In order for them to all have a good day you have to have two adults to split up the fun stoppers and the extreme rollercoaster riders.

I’m glad I went too. If I didn’t go I would have missed getting pictures of Shea feeding a giraffe! OMG.



I would have missed a killer whale splashing half of the audience…I swear, that never gets old!



I wouldn’t have gotten to see this adorable dolphin come up the window of the tank and play with Alyx and Shea.



I would have missed getting to run from roller coaster to roller coaster with my 12 year old daughter at the end of the day to try to get in ‘just one more ride’



to view the pictures click HERE

I spent the whole day hanging out with my step son (Dan’s son from his girlfriend before he met me) and we talked. We talked more yesterday then we ever did

when I was married to his dad. This is the child I held when he was just a baby, the little boy we spent every other weekend with for over 10 years. He has

always been afraid of me because he knows that if he spends any time with me he is going to be asked a million questions by his mom and it’s best just to

ignore me and be able to say, “I didn’t talk to her.”
I totally understand where he’s coming from and I don’t blame him. Yesterday though…was probably the best day I have ever had with him and I totally owe it

all to Shaun’s son, Tyler.
I have bonded with Tyler so fast that I call him my son. We talk about everything. We talk school, video games, books, girls, tv, computer…everything. I spent

yesterday treating Ryan just like I treat Tyler.

At one point in the trip I said, “I’ve missed hanging out with you Ryan.” and he just sort of shuffled to the right and then the left.
I said, “This is the part where you say, ‘I’ve missed hanging out with you too!’ and you give me a hug.”
and he just laughed.
I joked, “Okay, I’ll just call your mom and say, ‘me and Ryan had SOOOOOO much fun today! we talked about EVERYTHING!’”
He got this horrified look on his face and said, “I have missed hanging out with you too Kris.” and he gave me a hug.

On the way home I drove because Dan got sick and Ryan sat up front with me. We talked all the way home. 2 hours of talk with him. I swear I don’t think if we

added up all the hours we spent talking in the past 14 years it would add up to 2 hours.

Good times.



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28
May
Blue Steel
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun


I was going to have him do Magnum, but he said it was no where near ready.

I shouldn’t even be blogging about it.

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28
May
Just call me curly
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Still digging through my old photo albums and I found this.

Comments (18)  //  Add Comment
27
May
The Fonz is BACK!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: The Fonz


She’s been laggin’ on commenting on your blogs, but she’s back! She posted for the Stuff Portrait Friday.

Go check out the FONZ!!

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27
May
I’m the meanest mother that ever lived. NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats
The girls have been cleaning their rooms ( 2 rooms ) since 2:30 pm. It’s now almost 6:30 pm.
In 4 hours I have heard each child cry, lie, scream and hit another child.

I did find one of the FOUR library books that the School Library Mafia leaders have been calling about.

So guess what next Friday’s STUFF Portraits will be?

1. YOUR KIDS ROOM! (suggested by Tanya)
if you’re kidless…you doggie/kitty/fishy space.
if you’re doggie/kitty/fishyless…your guest room.
if you’re guest roomless…uh..take a picture of the box your kid/fish/cat/dog would sleep in if you did. (tough being politically correct!)

oh and if you’re kidless and NEED to borrow a kid for a summer…I HAVE FIVE! pick one!

2. A collection you have. Cds/DVDs/VHS/8-tracks…(Closet Metro suggested ‘toys’, but uh…don’t get excited because I won’t be sharing those!!)

3. Torriesuggested, a picture of your computer/desk.

So I went to Lushy’s site today to see what her ‘stuff’ was, because this whole thing is an inspired idea from her…AND SHE IS GONE!
Does anyone have her new blog address?

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27
May
STUFF Portrait Friday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday


Seriously, this is my purse. camera, smokes, wallet. Sometimes I shove my wallet in the camera bag and tote that big ol’ thing around like a purse. I don’t

have dental floss or a safty pin in my purse, but if you ever need some batteries or a memory card for ANY possible camera type…i’m you’re gal.



My fridge…with my RAIDER coffee mug!



I need to throw out like all of those Coffee Mates…they have been in there for months!



I don’t pray to it, but it is the only cross in my house. The Fonz & Dashababy bought it for me…a birthday? a Christmas? because they love me?



I crawled up on my bathroom counter several years ago and with a bottle of nail polish I wrote the words “HOPE”. I wanted to remember that no matter what, I

still had it. I will never take it down and the people that buy this house will have to grab the nail polish remover and take it down themselves, because I never

will.

Okay, did you play this week? I wanna see!!

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