2006: April - June

06
Apr
just read the whole post this time.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, stuff portrait friday

I got out the Nikon, which by the way has had a name change. BAMF has become more of a ‘title’ to a camera and less of a name. In email exchange between

one of my favorite photographers, she suggested the Nikon could use a different name, like…Barry. She then said, ‘In a good Barry way and not like a creepy

uncle Barry way’. I had the joy of telling her my brother’s name was Barry and get to watch her squirm juuuuuuust a little.

I had thought about a new name for BAMF and it keeps coming back to Barry…as in Barry Bonds. Barry, the camera on Steriods. And so it shall be.As I was

saying…I took out Barry to get the shots for this weeks SPF assignment and after no effort what so ever I had all three shots. This wasn’t fair now was it?
I grabbed Shaun’s old Fugi camera that if you breath while taking the picture it will come out blurry and a tripod.
YES, a TRIPOD. $12.00 at Wal-mart. It makes ALL the difference in the world when trying to get a close up shot without a flash using a point and shoot or

using a Nikon that needs steady, crisp shots.

I wasn’t sure if anyone would believe that I took the pictures with a point and shoot camera so I made Shaun take ‘back me up’ pictures.

Alright, first up:

Point and Shoot close up (macro) without the tripod:



Point and Shoot WITH the tripod:



Proof of use of Point and Shoot:



Lovin’ the jacked up nail job?
Next up…no flash. I actually couldn’t get any of the shots with the flash, when it was that close up it just washed out the pictures.

Remember when I said, ‘find your favorite subject?’ I keep mine in my camera bag!


Proof:



Okay last but not least: Changing my perspective ( I did use the Nikon for this one)


I hope you all enjoyed this week. If you have any questions, PLEASE ask. If not me, someone. That’s how I figured out a bunch of my questions…I called the

camera store, I emailed photograpers I admire on Flickr and I read lots of websites that have lots of information. I also watch this one lady on DIY network…

she annoys the living shit out of me, but she actually helps out a bit.

Did you play? did you read the whole post or just look at the pictures?

Comments (73)  //  Add Comment
06
Apr
photographs..and memories.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety, friends, Random


I have no words today.

Actually I have many, many words but they are all balled up like my daughter’s shoe laces and I cant figure out which string to start pulling on to get it all

undone.
I’m afraid to actually start to try then I might throw that shoe in frustration and have to admit that I’m not doing as well as I thought I was.
Instead, I’ll talk about things outside of this blog. Am I the only one, after reading someone’s blog and getting to kinda know them, wonder wherethey wander

on the web that isn’t ‘blog related’?

I like to read Thomas Hawk. In theory, it’s a blog…but it’s not in my mind. I learn stuff and I feel smart after reading it. He never makes me feel stupid.

Through my sad Flickr addiction I have found a bunch of neat places to poke around and reading about these fantastic photographers in Flickr interviews

makes me feel all artsy.

Every now and again I will check out the Pondering Pool and see if she has any new cards up. This artist knows what’s in my head and manages to put in into

an art and with words that make me grin and sometimes stop and try to figure out how she came up with that last line.

I go to a bunch of other techy geek type pages to try to stay somewhat current with my degree, but honestly…I have lost that lovin’ feeling when it comes to

the technical crap.

“You lost me at ‘database’” was something I said in an email to Phil and it sort of made me sad that I can’t do the things I use to be able to do. It kills me that

I don’t even care.

BUT, on a very happy note: Deb is cancer free. Go give her a hug.

Comments (5)  //  Add Comment
05
Apr
belated spf…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, stuff portrait friday
Let’s get to know your camera, okay?

This Friday’s theme…Take me off AUTO!

1. Macro: take a picture of something ‘close up’. Don’t use your zoom, make sure you have good lighting and make sure you’re steady. If you have to, set

your camera down on something and then take the picture.

2. NO FLASH: try swiching the flash off and taking pictures of your stuff without it. It may take a lot of pictures to get the right shot, but open the windows and

find artifical light to get it to work.

3. Perspective: get up high or down low…either way, change the perspective of your picture..tilt the camera sideways. Change the layout of the picture. Instead

of having the subject framed perfectly in the middle of the picture…move it to the left or the right.

You all hate it when I make you think of out of the box. This is one of those weeks you’re going to hate me, but it’s really not that hard. Find your favorite

subject and follow the rules.

Comments (27)  //  Add Comment
04
Apr
punishment
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
god is jack bower and he is mad.

on friday shaun and i went to hollywood video to pick up some movies. i have been good lately by avoiding chick flicks, but on friday i broke down and got

‘elizabethtown’.
we watched it last night.
it was the master of all chick flicks.
Shaun watched it against his will. He had to, my legs were over his lap. that means…stay.
he watched it while 24 was tivo’ing in the bedroom.

there are things you don’t mess with in the universe…jack bower is one of them. he knew shaun wasn’t watching and thus started this universal swirl that i am

calling my life.

this morning i woke up with my head weighing a ton.
my black and decker coffee pot spit coffee everywhere and then died.
the dog peed on my new ikea carpet.
i have to go through each post (900-1000) on this blog (and it takes forever to just shut ONE off) and turn off comments because spam people suck. suck.

suck.
i have had to delete over SIX HUNDRED spam comments.
my head…hurts. bad.
i have a fever.
tyler left his bedroom door open on the side of the house and his dog body slammed the door until it opened and then chewed everything up in his room.

i hate jack bower. i hate chick flicks. i hate that damn dog.

Comments (22)  //  Add Comment
03
Apr
peeking into the dark corners of the internet
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats

One of the hard things about making sure your kids aren’t getting into trouble on the internet and watching what they do, is finding out stuff you don’t want to.

Someone in UpperClass Heaven loves me, because my kids…as annoying as they get, are GOOD kids.

As I am typing this I hear Kara and Marina giggling and goofing around as they avoid getting ready to leave for school.
Normally I would be yelling at them to knock it off and just get ready or the’ll be late. This morning, I’m just listening to them laugh at each other.

I’m counting my “I have teenagers” blessings today.

1. Kara is dressed in all black. Not because she’s goth and suicidal, but because she’s wearing her softball uniform for her game later today.

2. The girls are yelling at each other. It’s not because they hate each other, but because they are trying to help each other find backpacks and jackets so they

can be to school on time.
3. The girls are giggling like loons. Not because they smoked a bowl in the bedroom before getting up, but because Kara’s being a dork and trying to make

Marina laugh.

4. One of them has a band-aid on. Not because they cut themselves, but because they fell down playing.

5. They talk to me. They don’t post messages that say, “I hate my mom, she’s a fucking bitch” on MySpace for all their friends to see.

It’s one of those mornings that I realize how lucky I am. Or is it luck?

Am I lucky that I don’t have to go through my kids rooms and backpacks to find out what is going on in their lives? Am I lucky that I know when they walk out

the door to go to school that they actually end up there and not Mr.C’s pool hall? (sorry mom).
Is it luck that I know when something bad is happening in my kids life they don’t go in their room and cut themselves?

No, this isn’t luck. This is parenting. Holy shit, I’m a parent! I’m a damn good one too!
It takes looking at other kids that are leaving horrible messages, cussing left and right, talking about cutting themselves and wanting to die, that you realize…I

did something right.

So what did I do right? I raised my kids just like My Mom, The Fonz did. Essentially, I became my mother…minus the .357 in my purse.

If there was something that I didn’t like that she did, I changed it.
I didn’t like that my mom drank when I was younger, so I don’t get drunk in front of the kids…(well, that one time, but who knew merlot could be so good?)
I didn’t like we lived in a mobile home in the middle of the woods, so I moved to Sacramento.
I didn’t like that she threatened to shoot my boyfriends, so I got a camera and I threaten to put incriminating pictures of their boyfriend on the internet.

It’s all about tweeking what our parents did right and wrong.

Now I’m left with what I do with the information I find out about these other kids…like, “I wish my mother was dead because she’s a fucking bitch.”
I understand that we all thought those things, we said them to our friends, we wrote them in our diaries…but these kids are putting stuff out there for the world

to see. I would be MORTIFIED if one of the girls did that to me and I found out another parent had seen it.

I’m debating if I call this parent. She’s a single parent with like 3 or 4 kids. I don’t know what kind of parent she is, but if you read what her daughter writes or

heard what she says about her…you would think this woman locks her in her room, beats and ignores her. If I say something to this parent, it’s going to be

very clear WHO went to her mother and told her what she was saying on the internet and that means my two teenage girls MIGHT get their asses kicked at

school.

What would you do? What would you want to know if you were the mother? What do you think?

Comments (44)  //  Add Comment

20
Apr
Am I?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
You know when someone gets up and asks, “You want anything while I’m up?”

Am I the only one that REALLY wishes that people could go to the bathroom for you? you know, since they’re up anyway.

Comments (22)  //  Add Comment
19
Apr
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random, stuff portrait friday

This could be the longest i’ve gone without posting. I was a prisoner in my own home and the covers from my bed kept me bound. I was forced to medicate

and watch re-runs of Twilight Zone. I’m doing better today.
The ex came over (at the last damn minute) to bring the girls to school and decided that I needed to get out of the house for coffee.

There is nothing more theraputic than listening to stories about other people’s lives to make you feel better about your own.
There is also nothing more bizarre than giving your ex-husband advice on women and how to deal with the sort that call, call, call, call…and continue to do

this for 16 years.
He doesn’t grasp the concept of NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE.

I got my first death threat email today. It read:
PLEASE PUT UP THE ASSIGNMENT FOR STUFF PORTRAIT FRIDAY OR I WILL BE FORCED TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND FEED YOU FISH!

This week is YOUR initials….
For example…my initials are: KLS (but soon to be KLB, so I am going to use KLB) so I am going to take a picture of something that starts with a K…and then

L…and then a B.
It’s Super EASY. Please back away from the fish products.

And because I didn’t do it this weekend, I give you:

Comment Section Wish List…

Body: Okay, here’s the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (”I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your

wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part: Your wish is messed up!

Example:

Renee—I wish I had a birthday present.

KimmyK—Granted, but the birthday present is a IRS audit. I wish I had a new car.

Dashababy—Granted, but it’s a Geo Metro that only goes 15 miles per hour…I wish..

*Have a great Wednesday everyone!

Comments (60)  //  Add Comment
17
Apr
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘titles’ I’ve given myself in my life. It’s nearly impossible to avoid a ‘title’.
You start your life out as the ‘Oldest Child’ or ‘Middle Child’ or ‘The Baby.” You are a ‘good boy’ or ‘bad girl.’ When you enter school your title is a ‘grade’. As

you progress through school you get ‘nicknames’ and ‘titles’. As you age, your job becomes your ‘title’.

These ‘titles’ have shaped me. These ‘titles’ have tied me down. These ‘titles’ can be taken away in a split second…and then what am I left with?

If I put a title on myself that would shine me in a good light, it would be ‘Mom’. That’s the title I wear with the most pride. That’s the one I am the most proud

of.
I have lots of titles that I am proud of. ‘Daughter’, ‘Sister’, ‘Friend’, ‘Fiancee’.

When Nikki died and I got the email from Kami, I had to email her back to make sure I was clear. I asked her again, ‘Nikki? Sarah’s partner?’ and yes, it was

Nikki.

My title of Mom can be taken away in a second. I know no matter what happens, i’ll always be a ‘Mom’, but the active part of that title can be taken away. That

became VERY clear after hearing about Nikki.
I’ve been emailing with a few of us that had been touched by her life and we are all in the same mindset…we are keeping our kids closer and counting our

blessings a couple more times a day.
I woke up this morning to one thought; What if I wake up this morning and my worst fear is realized? What if one of my ‘titles’ is ripped away from me? What if

my mother dies? My sister dies? my children dies?

I was reading a new friend’s blog today and she was talking about ‘titles’ she had growing up. I thought about the titles I had myself. ‘lazy’, ‘brat’, ‘skinny’

‘stupid’…
It took years to find out that those titles weren’t really me. Okay, I was lazy, but I wasn’t stupid. I tried my hardest to redefine who I was, but I think the person I

really am isn’t something I can change. It’s something I can mold though…and that’s what I did…no, it’s what i’m doing.

If you had to pick a new title to add to the ones that you had, what would you pick?
You can’t take ‘Lotto Winner’, because I already called dibs on that one.

You get to pick a new title today. You get to hold it up for everyone to see. No one gets to take that title away and it will come to fruition if you just write it…

what do you write?

Comments (56)  //  Add Comment
16
Apr
Patty LaBelle’s Macaroni and Cheese…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 pound elbow macaroni
8 tablespoons (1 stick) plus 1 tablespoon butter
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Muenster cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded mild Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack
2 cups half-and-half
1 cup (8 ounces) Velveeta, cut into small cubes
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 350° F. Lightly butter a deep 2 1/2-quart casserole.

Bring the large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the oil, then the elbow macaroni, and cook until the macaroni is just tender, about 7 minutes.

Do not overcook. Drain well. Return to the cooking pot.

In a small saucepan, melt eight tablespoons of the butter. Stir into the macaroni. In a large bowl, mix the Muenster, mild and sharp Cheddar, and Monterey

Jack cheeses. To the macaroni, add the half-and-half, 1 1/2 cups of the shredded cheese, the cubed Velveeta, and the eggs. Season with salt and pepper.

Transfer to the buttered casserole. Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2-cup of shredded cheese and dot with the remaining one tablespoon of butter.

Bake until it’s bubbling around the edges, about 35 minutes. Serve hot.

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment
15
Apr
Hoppy Easter
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Comments (16)  //  Add Comment
14
Apr
i am without words
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I..who. Um. *shaking head*

I’m trying to figure out how to write this and believe it as I type it.

Nikki is gone.

Many of you know who i’m talking about. Nikki was Sarah’s partner. Last year Sarah died of cancer. Nikki began emailing me because Sarah use to read my

blog and she wanted me to know about her. She wanted to tell me about Deb. She wanted me to be aware of the people that read my blog and she wanted

everyone to have the strength to get through situations that they didn’t think they would be able to get through.
She wanted more for other people than she wanted for herself.

I went through some emails she had written me. Passionate is the word I would use for Nikki. She felt everything when she wrote about it because when I read

what she wrote me I feel the urgency for me to ‘get her’. Please just understand how important this is – is the message she was trying to give me. She wanted

prayers, she wanted strength, she wanted awareness.

I’m at a loss for words today. I wrote this and set it aside to see if I could get it to sink in and I can’t. I just can’t. I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that

someone that was doing good with what they had left…isn’t here anymore.

Sarah and Nikki’s family website: http://www.swlf.blogspot.com/

Comments (18)  //  Add Comment
13
Apr
Stuff Portrait Friday – Pre Easter.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

My Peeps: Friends outside of the blog world



Cita and I. She made me laugh so hard last night in the Jack in the Box drive thru that I cried. The guy at the window thought we were smoking the wacky.
My old boss once said, “I’ve never heard you laugh. You always say, ‘that’s funny’, but you never laugh. I just want to hear what you sound like when you

laugh from the heart.”
She has heard my laughter on a daily basis.


This is my beautiful friend, Lisa with ‘Cita’s husband. You all know how much I love her, because I wrote it about it here.
Lisa will forever hold the title as the friend that was ALWAYS there for me. I haven’t figured out WHY she puts up with me.

‘Cita’s husband is also in that picture and it works out great, because he’s a friend too. He’s a rock. I know I can say anything around him and he’ll just laugh

or walk out of the room saying, “TMI, Kristine…T.M.I.”
I have just a small handful of friends. I’m learning how to open up to more and learn to let some others go. Learning what bridges to burn and what bridges to

rebuild is hard, but i’m glad it’s something I am learning how to do.

Something Fuzzy.



Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog. She wasn’t FUZZY as she was more dreadlocked. Shaun and I gave her a hair cut and now she has fuzzy again!
I love before and after shots!! Check out my Flickr site to get the bigger pictures.

Something/Someone I want to Dye/Die.



My carpet. I spilled bleach on it and now it’s the size of my hand.
It’s the ugliest thing in the whole world and I feel like an idiot.

This weekend we are going to do comment page wishlist…just so you have a heads up and can start thinking about the wishes you’re going to make…and get

ruined ;)

Did you play?

Comments (41)  //  Add Comment
11
Apr
Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical science in the home.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Easter is around the corner and as usual, it snuck up on me.

It’s okay though…Easter wasn’t my favorite holiday. Not because I don’t love all that goes with Easter…the bunnies, the symbolic meanings…and the baskets

filled with CHOCOLATE! it’s because no matter how much I tell myself this will be the year that I take the time to make sure all the aluminum foil is off the

chocolate bunny, I always get a sliver of of it in my mouth and then I spend the next 2 hours flopping around on the floor because all my dental work mixed

with the foil caught between two fillings is causing me to drool and scream in pain.

So this week the theme for Stuff Portrait Friday will be kinda Easter related. It’s okay if you don’t celebrate…I’m making this politically correct…sort of.

Stuff Portrait Friday: April 14th, 2006

1. Your Peeps – introduce us to some of your friends outside of the blog world.
2. Something Fuzzy – *shaking head* you guys keep it clean.
3. Something/Someone you want to dye/die – Yeah, shut up, you’ve thought of it!

I’m off to San Francisco for the day. Shaun is taking a test for his work…send good test passing vibes our way.

Comments (12)  //  Add Comment
10
Apr
There’s people and more people. What do they know know know?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

a cute, little house in Sacramento (not my house)

When Shaun moved in we decided to shove all his boxes in the garage and go through them when we had more time.
Time isn’t something we have a whole lot of…neither is space.

This last weekend I cleaned my closet for the 4th time since he moved in. Everytime I clean the closet I get rid of about 3 pairs of shoes and the space I make

is quickly replaced with something else I own.

EVERYTHING can be found in my closet.

“Mom, do you know where the weed eater is?”
“Check my closet.”

It was time to get rid of some more of my stuff and reorganize the closet. I realized I am the Carrie Bradshaw of “Payless Shoe Source”. I had to get rid of 17

pairs of shoes to make room for Shaun’s things. In the space that 17 shoes use to live now houses 2 large boxes of “Shaun Things”. I also got rid of clothes,

books and purses. Three of my favoritest things. The closet is now organized. TWO people now live in my bedroom.

Letting people in my life was easy. I’ve never had a problem loving one more person and sharing my life. On the other hand, letting people into my house is a

whole other story.

Last weekend we moved Tyler into the garage. He’s happy to have a space of his own. It’s a place to call his own, decorate and put his stuff.
I was so excited to give up that space to make him so happy.

Even though we call the bedroom ‘Our room’, Shaun doesn’t really have much space for his things, except for the dresser I gave up. It was time to let go and

let Shaun have some room in the closet.

I mean…he does kill the big spiders in the shower, he deserves some space in the closet. Right?

Comments (24)  //  Add Comment
09
Apr
oh my my. oh hell yes. you got to put on that party dress.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

I swear I didn’t think we would make it past a month. I was wrong.

Comments (36)  //  Add Comment

28
Apr
i’m okay..mostly.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


We took Kara to get her mole removed yesterday. As I was parking the car something totally stupid happened. I forgot how to park. I proceeded to smack into

a park car as I was pulling in. The other car was about 4 stories high and made of steel so there wasn’t even a scratch on it. MY CAR on the other hand now

looks all ghetto with a buckled up front.
What I learned from this: My next car is going to have a metal bumper that goes all the way around it just like the one I hit. ALL HAIL THE METAL BUMPER. If

you don’t have a metal bumper, but have a lame ass plastic one that comes standard on mini-vans…pull it off and replace it with a metal bumper. Have I made

myself clear on the metal bumpers? GO GET ONE.

The mole can not be removed. It has to be done by a plastic surgeon. Is it so wrong to wish for a doctor that looks like Christian Troy from Nip/Tuck?

She did have a wart on her hand removed. As soon as he pulled out the stuff to do it, she grabbed Marina’s hand. Awww. This week they are getting along.

As the day came to an end I just wanted it to be over and to be home…and when I pull up in front of the house I find out that the little shit ass dog bit the

neighbor girl. Well, she nipped at her because according to the stories from another adult that was there, the kids were taunting her. REGARDLESS, the dog

shouldn’t have been outside at all. Shea asks me EVERYDAY and I tell NO. I explain why and she sulks off like I beat her or something.
She waited until the day I wasn’t home to take the dog out. Our court has like 15 little kids in it and I guess they all thought that the dog was cute and wanted

to hold it and play with it. To Shea, she has all the kids wanting to play with her and her cute dog…to the dog it was an anxiety attack waiting to happen.
I blame myself for this. Maybe if I was better christian wife, I would have been home serving my man and squeezing orange juice. No, I was out getting warts

removed from my daughter’s hand…clearly a vanity issue we have.

The neighbor dad was cool, but i’m sure the neighbor mom wanted to kill me. I don’t blame her. I would kill me too. They had to take their kid to the hospital

for a shot ‘just to be careful’ and then they were going to have to fill out a report against my dog.
I think when the cops come I’m just going to say she belongs to this nice lesbian couple up in Oregon. She wanted that dumb ass dog anyway.
I had to go over and check on the little girl and I was still all upset about the car so I burst into tears on the walk over. I finally had snapped. I’m still in ‘snap’.
I’m currently NOT answering the phone. Sorry mom…I can’t talk without bursting into tears. I’m okay. Everyone’s okay…but opening my mouth and talking

isn’t a good thing.

Tonight Shaun is taking me to see The Ruse play in Davis. If you live anywhere near Davis or if you live a million miles away from Davis…you should come

out and buy me a drink. We can hang out and oogle the good looking band members.
You have to behave yourself though because the guitar player’s real mom reads my blog. I think she would say, “Look, but don’t touch.”
typical mom.
Let me know if you can sneak out and come see my boys…you’ll be able to find me, just look for the jacked up mini-van!

*all bold print is a link

Comments (27)  //  Add Comment
27
Apr
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Something Big:



Holey Moley!!! Damien had the 666 mark of the devil on his head in ‘The Omen’ (remake starting 6-6-06 in theaters…..great marketing gimmick). Kara has the

lesser known decimal point mark of the Uppercase gods. Not sure what it means, but it’ll be gone soon enough!

Something small:



OK, so it looks like an ad for Little Debbie snack cakes or a bad Will Ferrell sports movie, but these little brats at the park are so cute. Plus the come in those

IKEA looking vests for easy handling. We fit six or seven in the trunk and still had room for our lawn chairs. Visit a park near you.

Something half:



OK, so when Shaun gets to pick an SPF picture, this is the crap you’re gonna end up with. For those of you outside the Sacramento area, the existence of the

Mullet Pigeon may not be common knowledge. Breed regular pigeons in trailer parks and feed them nothing but malt liquor, Corn Nuts, and hard liqour

mixed with Kool Aid…..you get the Mullet Pigeon. When Shaun’s book of imaginary animals is written, this will follow the Hill Cow as one of his favorites.

Did you play?

Comments (65)  //  Add Comment
27
Apr
I’m only a little bit whore…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
So an ex-blogger who will go nameless until she decides she’s coming back to blogging sent me this link to a blog.

She said when she read it, she thought it was a joke…until she started reading the comments. I read it, I thought that my ex-blogging friend who will go

nameless until she pulls her head out of her ass and starts blogging again, was just an idiot because there is NO way that this could be real. NO WAY. I

thought that until I read the comments.

So for you to understand why I am only a little bit whore; I don’t do frozen orange juice, but I sure the hell don’t fresh squeeze those bitches.

And now I give you, this link.
Tell me what you think…I mean, we now KNOW that women like this walk the streets, but I honestly thought they were like Unicorns…in the woods— hiding in

a mystical cave.

*shaking head*

Comments (47)  //  Add Comment
27
Apr
Seven lonely days and a dozen towns ago…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy


Guess what time of the year it is? Yes, it’s my sister’s birthday.

Last year I took a few days and a few pads of paper to come up with the perfect letter to my sister and there is NO way I could ever top it. Trust me, I reread it

and I cried as hard as I did when I was typing it a year ago.

What I did find was the fantastic comments left by my readers…the same readers that you still see here today. The readers that stuck with me through just

about everything.
The readers that not only welcomed me, but my Mom The Fonz and my sister. The same readers that I find on other blogs leaving the heartfelt comments,

funny comments or a comment that just say, ‘me too’.

I know I go on and on about how lucky I am to have the readers/comments that I do. Today I read someone’s blog that had a person that left a comment that

just sucked. It was mean, hurtful and wrong and it is a reminder of how lucky I am to have such a kick ass support system. You know me for the person you

read me as. You over look my typos (except Nilbo ;) You give me another way to look at a situation. You let me believe that I’m right when you know i’m not.

You send me private emails and tell me to pull my head out of my ass in the nicest way possible.

In addition for all that you do for me, you do for others. You have left my sister comments when she needed a comment.
You have been there to offer comfort to those that are hurting.

YOU. You are awesome.

*cough* as AWESOME as you all are, you have a SHORT attention span on Friday when you know you have to scroll through those links and look at other

people’s ‘stuff’…so that is why I am asking you today, Stuff Portrait Eve, to go wish my beautiful, wonderful, understanding sister a Happy Birthday.
I love you, Kathy!

*sidenote: Kara’s doctor rescheduled her appointment. Angel Hickey will be removed on Thursday.

Comments (39)  //  Add Comment
26
Apr
You better watch your step, or your gonna get hurt yourself
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats


Child: Alyx
Diagnosis: Water warts
Treatment: Beetle Juice on the water warts. The ‘warts’ will boil up and go away.

Child: Shea
Diagnosis: Spider Bite on her toe.
Treatment: bottle of stuff that knocks her out and steriod cream for her toe. (She will soon have a Popeye toe!)

Child: Kara
Diagnosis: Mole on top of her hand that I have always called her ‘Angel Kiss’ now looks like an ‘Angel Hickey’ needs to be removed.
Treatment: Remove the mole and have a funeral for it.

Child: Tyler
Diagnosis: Possible pinched nerve in his neck from doing the high jump in PE
Treatment: Beat the hell out of the PE teacher for making children do high jumps and hopefully some bottles of medicine that will cause hallucinations.

Child: Marina
Diagnosis: Not getting enough attention and not able to stay home like all the other kids.
Treatment: Take her for a Starbucks strawberry thing she likes and tell her how much I love her and how happy I am that she’s not sick (even though she

called her Dad today to see if he could come get her because she ‘wasn’t feeling good.’)

4 out of 5 children in the doctor this week…because 17 dentist appointments LAST month wasn’t enough!!

Comments (18)  //  Add Comment
26
Apr
SPF: It’s all how you look at it.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random, stuff portrait friday

I wan’t you to remember what you learned a few weeks ago and use them this week.

1. Something Big

2. Something Small

3. Half of Something

Remember, PERSPECTIVE. It may be small to you, but get on the floor and take the picture and see how big it looks. GET CREATIVE!! Think outside the

house box.
Half of something can be taken ANY way. Actually, all of these can be taken any way you want.

(Come back later for the post where Kristine whines about how 4 of her 5 children are sick)

Comments (21)  //  Add Comment
25
Apr
hanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Like the dumb ass I am, I left my credit card in the ATM machine last night.
by the grace of Uppercase God it was sucked back into the machine.

Do I really need this kind of stress? I THINK NOT.

Comments (24)  //  Add Comment
24
Apr
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara

I wrote this whole post on ‘weight’ and realized I have a huge problem writing about weight.

When I was on this mailing list a million years ago, the women spoke of eating disorders and I listened very closely because I didn’t want my daughters to

have that problem.
One of the many things they told me was to not obsess about your weight in front of your children. Don’t let your weight run your life in front of your children.

This has been pretty easy. Even when I did diet, I didn’t let it effect the girls…all they heard was ‘mommy is getting healthier.’

My kids have a normal outlook on what they look like, what they eat and what people say about them. This weekend Kara overhead a woman saying she

looked anorexic. She laughed at the lady and made some stupid Kara comment. Later she did ask what size I was when I was her age. I tried to explain that I

was 5’7 when I was her age. I don’t think she understood the whole concept. She’s in 7th grade and 13 years old and a size 0. I was in 7th grade and 13 years

old and a size 7. She now thinks that there might be something wrong. It doesn’t matter how much I tried to protect her from a bad body image, some woman

walking past her at a street faire has her questioning herself.

This question keeps popping into my head, “When do you feel most beautiful?” I keep asking myself this question without putting my weight as a factor.

When do I REALLY feel beautiful?

How about you? When do YOU feel truly beautiful?

Comments (61)  //  Add Comment
22
Apr
Alyxism…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


To reach Nirvana:

Chocolate Milk and Krispy Kreme Donuts.

Comments (17)  //  Add Comment
20
Apr
SPF: KLS
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday


Picture One: Kristine where the K stands for Karma.
I picked on my mom and sister for so long about having to wear glasses that Karma came back and bit me on on the ass…I have to wear these when I drive or

if I want to see things in focus and not fuzzy. I can live without them, but life is sharper with them on.


Picture Two: where the L in Louise stands for LONGING
I don’t think of this as cheating on my D70, because it’s sort of in the same family…
Shaun and I went in to get Barry a blow job (he had spots on his mirrors) and I had to ask if I could hold the other cameras. Oh me, oh me, oh MY.


Picture Three: Where the B in Baland (almost) stands for BONDING
Shaun got this picture yesterday after Kara’s softball game (she won). I never get tired of seeing these two getting along.



Did you play?
Comments (60)  //  Add Comment

07
May
and she healed me…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I handed my sister my camera this weekend and she took two pictures.
Are you as impressed as I am?


On the way home today Shaun looked at me and said, “You’re beautiful by this light right now.”
I asked, “By Colvine and Elk Grove Blvd light?”
He clarified, “No, by sun through dirty windshield light.”

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment
05
May
and there will be typos through tears.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, My Favorite Posts


“At this point in my life, i’ve done so many things wrong I don’t know if I can do right.”

You know that saying, “I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy?” That is how I feel about myself. I wouldn’t wish what I have on anyone.
On the outside, FROM the outside…I have nothing to complain about.

Inside, where I like to keep it nice and dark…that’s the place i’m talking about.

When I was Kara’s age I was afraid EVERY SINGLE DAY. I was afraid that I would walk into a classroom and that would be the day the teacher had me stand up

and answer a question I had NO clue how to answer. That would be the day that everyone would find out that I was a complete idiot. That would be the day I

got laughed at.

My daughter, Kara is living with that same damn fear and I hate myself for it. I HATE that I knew it MIGHT happen, I hate myself for the fact that I saw it

happening, I hate myself that I can’t take that fear away no matter what I do.
Alyx hasn’t done a cartwheel since she broke her arm. She fears it. I don’t blame her. I will never force her to do one. I on the other hand have to push Kara

into a place she doesn’t feel safe. A place that hurts worse than broken arm and there are no casts to make it better.

I cry. I cry just like my mom did when she knew I was failing. I thought she was crying because she mad at me, disappointed in me…ashamed of me.
She wasn’t though. I know that now…with these tears that stream down my face I realize those were tears of pain. My mom knew that fear. She had passed her

fears to her child…and if there is one thing in this world a mother wishes she can take from her child it’s fear and pain. My mom wanted to be able to explain

to me WHY she cried, but I couldn’t hear her. Her fears were from a million years ago, mine were right here…I could feel them and taste them.

With my head in my hands I cry for my little girl. Yes, she will turn out beautiful and wonderful…but she will walk in fear for many years. She will turn to

people that can get her down the road with the least amount of work. She will become dependant on someone to make her feel safe. Then one day she will

wake up in the middle of night in fear again because she has to get out of the place she is…and SHE CAN’T!

She’s going to ask herself, “How did I get here? How did I become so dependant on one person that I am buried so deep that there is no way out?” She will

try to find the path to get out…but it will lead back to, “I have no education…and this is the best it’s going to get…I better stay.” and she will.
Then she will wake up again a few years down the road with a couple of kids and realize that she should have tried to battle the mountain all those years ago,

but she didn’t because she didn’t think there was a way to do it.
and she will cry, like I cry right now because she’ll know what ‘trapped’ feels like.

I hurt SO many people because I couldn’t hold myself up. I wanted to take the easy route.
It was easier to fall down the stairs then to actually put the effort into climbing them. It was easier to trust someone else with my life than to actually take some

responsibility for it myself.

There are many things in my life I want to forget. The pain I caused my ex-husband when I walked out on him is one of them. I think the pain I caused him

when I came stumbling into his life should be first though. Did he honestly think he was getting someone who had it all together or someone that was running

away from life?
I trusted that he would keep me safe and make my life a little less painful. He trusted me that I would love him forever if he provided those things. I broke my

end of the bargain though.

I wanted out because at some point it didn’t matter that I wasn’t smart enough to go out and get a job and support my children. I had to save my own life.

THIRTY STUPID YEARS LATER!
Kara, please. Believe me like I didn’t believe Grandma…I’ve been where you are sweetheart and these tears aren’t because i’m ashamed of you. They are

because I love you so very much and I don’t want you to hurt like I did. I don’t want you to be scared like I was for so many years…years that went past 7th

grade through high school. Those fears follow me TODAY.
I wouldn’t wish feeling scared on ANYONE…especially you honey. If I could take it all away I would. If I knew how to do it then, I would have.

I remember Grandma telling me through tears, “WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU?” she cried like I am crying now…and I asked you the same question.
There may not be a perfect solution to fixing this…or a quick fix…but Kara we have to end this cycle HERE. Trust me, you do not want to ever see your

daughter crying like you did today. It’s painful in ways that I can’t describe.

You trust me and I don’t want to let you down.

Mountains baby, we have many to climb.

Comments (37)  //  Add Comment
04
May
SPF: May 5th…isn’t there some sort of celebration happening today?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Something With Flavor: These are E’s ribs. TO DIE FOR.




Body of Water: Shaun and I shot some pictures today of Chelsea’s friend Jacki and afterward we went to her house and got some shots by her BEAUTIFUL

pool.



Where I Plant My Ass: I picked the couch, but when I went to ‘my spot’ on the couch, it was already taken.



I have a new section of my blog dedicated to you, my readers. If you have a business or something like ‘spf’ that you want people to know about…please send

me an email with the button so we can get it up there for everyone.
randomandodd@gmail.com
Did you play? Did you NOT play?

Comments (61)  //  Add Comment
03
May
Dumb Ass Ex Husband.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: ex


Last week I got a phone call as I was laying in bed with Shaun watching a movie.

“Hey, whatcha doin?” it was my ex-husband calling.
“Just watching a movie.”
“Which one?”
“Just a stupid one. Why? What are you doing?” I ask only half interested.
“I’m watching the King’s game in the living room.”
I have a feeling this is going somewhere, so I ask “Who’s living room?”
“Yours.”

As you guessed, we have a pretty good relationship because I didn’t start screaming and call 911. I did get the raised eyebrows and the WTF look on my face

as I asked him, “Why are you in MY living room watching the King’s game?”
“I came over to get the kids and no one was here so I decided to check the score and got pulled into it. Where are the kids?”

He calls me usually every day or every other day to check on the girls or to chat about something funny someone said. I told him to either get Cingular or

stop calling me because my phone bill had his number on it WAY too often. He slowed down a bit, but he called me 3 times today. Once to tell me that he was

happy with the dentist I picked for him. Once to ask me if I wanted a coffee. Third to tell me went to the doctor and instead of getting a allergy shot, he had to

get an EKG.
He came over for dinner and he was acting weird. His allergies were bothering him, but the fact that he didn’t have someone to talk to about this, sort of had

him a bit weirded out. THe doctor said he was worried about his heart and put him on medication.

Dan layed back on my couch and fell asleep. Shaun and I have come to realize we are Dan’s family. He’s comfortable here. He knows he can talk to me and

Shaun’s not going to freak out. It goes both ways with Shaun’s ex too. When something happens to her, Shaun is the first person she calls. It comes with

being with someone for so many years, and it’s not something that either one of us stresses out about. Our relationship is too busy to sweat the small stuff.

As I was in the bedroom coping CD’s I could hear Shaun tell the kids, “Shhhhh, your dad’s asleep!”
I had to grin and hold back a little laugh. Poor Shaun. What did he get himself into?

When Dan finally woke up a couple hours later he felt better and took the kids to get ice cream. Marina came in to tell us that she and her friend were going

with Dan too.

The phone rang a little while ago, it was my ex. “Did you want an ice cream?” I told him no but thanked him for asking.

“Does Shaun want an ice cream?”
I know I bitch and call him a dumb ass, but the next time I complain remind me about the time that Dan took not only his kids, but Shaun’s kid AND her friend

to get ice cream.

Comments (51)  //  Add Comment
03
May
Kristine’s Ta-Do List
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


“what did we do before Tivo?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how we watched television.”
“Tivo is the bestest thing in the whole world.”
“Agreed.”

I WAS WRONG. I thought the people that invented the Tivo were the greatest people in the whole wide world. I WAS WRONG.

You want to know who the greatest people in the whole wide world are? They are those dudes that come pick up your trash every week.
Don’t believe me?
Forget to pay your bill and have to drag your full garbage can back up to the side yard.

Now have to wait TWO weeks before the trash is picked up again and see how excited you get when you go to the street and see an empty trash can! It is

BETTER than being able to pause live television or rewind a missed shot during the NBA playoffs.

The only thing I need to do today is pay that damn bill. UTMOST importance.

Next week you’re going to be reading a post that says having internet access is SO much better than having the garbage picked up.
The week after that, ‘why having a cell phone is SO much better than internet access’.
Wait, what did I just say? SHA-RIGHT!

Internet or cell phone? Which one do I pick?

Comments (22)  //  Add Comment
02
May
the end to the backseat headbanging video…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
This video is going to be removed so I can make room for new ones.

It had a long run and got lots of smiles and laughs, but it’s time to make room for new ones.

Enjoy!!

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment
02
May
Reminder…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


For THIS Friday, May 5th, 2006

Body of Water – think big or small…it’s up to you.
Something with Flavor – yes, another wide open one
Plant your Ass – where you park it…
Go ahead, bitch and complain about having to ‘think’ about it. I love to hear you whine!!

Comments (10)  //  Add Comment
01
May
guess what sunk in today?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Wedding


My Dad came down and bought the girl’s dresses. They get here June 6th. I couldn’t order the other dresses because it took 12 weeks to be delivered. I will be

married in 10 weeks.

Shaun and Tyler got fitted for their tuxes today and THAT is when it hit me. That term, ‘ton of bricks’ kinda made sense for the first time in my life.
I’m getting married. again.

I’m going to be ‘remarried’.

TON.OF.BRICKS.

Comments (46)  //  Add Comment
30
Apr
asking self..
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
If no moss grows on a rolling stone, how in the world does so much damn dust accumulate on ceiling fan blades?

Comments (25)  //  Add Comment
30
Apr
I made LEMONAIDE!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
But I didn’t fresh sqeeze it, cause I am a whore.


Thursday Sucked. Thursday was a day that should have been spread out a couple of months so I didn’t have to get bombarded with all that at once.
It all happened for a reason and i’m done trying to figure it out why. I am chalking it up as a reason to count my blessings.

On Friday night we barely made it out to Davis to see my boys play. They were to go on stage at 10:30 and since Kara’s dance ran late, we couldn’t make it out

there until a quarter to 11.
I walked in so worried I missed it and then I saw Jim, the guitar player getting ready to set up. He gave me a big ol’ hug and said, “My mom loves you!” I told

him that I loved her too and her emails always make my day.
As I watched them play I was just grinning from ear to ear like a proud parent. I thought how Jean must feel when she watches them play.
‘THE RUSE‘ commit that name to memory people. These guys are going to make it. I swear.

Charlotte and Sue paypaled me some money so I could have a drink on them. I had 4. Thank you guys. It worked. I was trying to pawn my 4th drink off on

anyone that would drink it though because I didn’t want to spend my whole night crouched over, pleading with God to make it stop. Clearly God wasn’t happy

with me so I wasn’t going to ask any favors until I got back on his good side.
I have pictures of me with the band, but Shaun needs to fix them. I wish I could be one of those people that gets hammered yet looks like they just walked out

of church. When I drink I look like I just stepped out of a strip club on free hot dog night. Red eyed, bloated with a touch of afterglow.


On Saturday, Shaun and I went to visit Kathy at her Dad’s house. I got to talk to Kathy for awhile and hang out with her other side of the family. Because I love

my sister I will leave out the funny, detailed description of this visit and just say that I am going to need more dental work after attempting to chew that metal-

like hamburger.
As we were leaving we went out to the car to get a bag out of Kathy’s trunk when this random neighbor dog ran up to us, sniffed around and then peed on

Shaun. Kathy burst into laugher and I grinned from ear to ear!


When we pulled up at the house, I had these flowers sitting on my doorstep. I brought them in and read the note. It was from Lori, who was hoping that my

weekend was going to to better than my Thursday.
In the flowers are lemons. I thought that was perfect! I grinned from ear to ear.

Then I ended my Saturday night with a long talk with Lawbrat. When I got off the phone with her I felt like I was healed a little bit. I hope she felt the same.

Now it’s Sunday and I hear Shaun in the backyard with the weed eater, which makes me happy, because soon I will be able to see out the back window again. I

hear the dryer going which makes me happy because that bitch hasn’t broke yet.

Thank you everyone for the comments, emails, chats, drinks, flowers, hugs…

Comments (10)  //  Add Comment

16
May
You know what Tuesday was, right?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Tuesday use to be the day I would watch American Idol.

I’m not going to watch American Idol anymore.

I don’t care if Chris might sign with this band or that band. I don’t care that he’s going to make more money than all the other American Idols before him. I

DON’T CARE.

I’m pissed. I’m REALLY pissed at Ryan SuckCrest for being such a McMeany with his way of telling Chris he was going home.

So yeah. *foot being put down*
You going to watch it?

Comments (33)  //  Add Comment
15
May
if one lets go, the other falls down.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Today is Shea’s 8th birthday. Yep. My youngest child is eight years old.

Shea’s birthday always puts me in this weird mood. It reminds me of her first birthday and how my marriage was coming to an end.
“Shea turns eight. My marriage ended 7 years ago.”
It’s a crappy thing to remember on your daughter’s birthday.

Alyx broke her arm on what would have been my annaversary with her father. Now when I think of July 11th, I don’t think of the day I got married, but the day

Alyx broke her arm. We actually do this strange ‘broken arm’ celebration every year and it makes me smile instead of feeling regret or sadness.

My ex called today after he got out of the doctor’s appointment.
“Well, he said I have about 3 months to live.”
My brain never had so many thoughts run through it before I finally said, “WHAT?”
He said, “Yep, the doctor gave me three months…..to lose this weight.”
I called him a fucking dumb ass for scaring me like that. He laughed and proceeded to tell me that the doctor instructed him to lose weight.
My first thought was to say, “WELL DUH.”, but I was nice because I live in a glass house.

I’ve spent the morning trying to get over the fact that my mother’s day sucked ass. Learning the art of not letting the way other people behave and treat me

and other people has been a huge lesson that I haven’t quite learned how to do yet.
When the neighbor was a prick to me I was pissed, but I had not really put any effort into trying to make our ‘neighbor relationship’ the best it could be, so I

didn’t really feel much of a loss.
There were things I could have done to try to make our relationship as neighbors go smoother. I could have gone back over there and asked him what hours

he worked so I could see if I could keep the dog in during those hours. I could have said I was sorry that my dog woke him up. I could have been a lot nicer

and gone out of my way to make sure that certain things wouldn’t trigger him.
BUT and I mean, BIG OL’ BUT…yesterday reminded me of something that I should have known from all the years of me being nice to people and going out of

my way to make sure that everyone got along: It doesn’t matter how much you do for someone, when they want to be mean, they are going to be mean. It

doesn’t matter how much you put into a relationship, if someone isn’t putting just as much effort into it then it’s not going to work. If you put in a lot of work

into something to earn trust and respect and it goes unnoticed…you need to just walk away and stop trying.

I’m not going to go out of my way to try to be nice to my neighbors because in my heart of hearts I know that it doesn’t matter all the things I do right to make

our relationship right, it’s going to take one misunderstanding or one thing and they are just going to talk behind my back and call the cops on me again for

something petty that could have been resolved by simply coming over and talking to me like an adult.

So the lesson I am learning today is I’m only going to put effort into relationships that give back and I can find trust in.
I’m not going to dwell on the bad things that happened this month (even though it SUCKED REALLY BAD!) or the petty things that happened yesterday or

even the things that happened 7 years ago.

Tonight my ex-husband will probably drag me, the girls, my future husband and his children out to dinner to celebrate his daughter’s birthday. He won’t bring

up the past and how this month marks the tragic end to our marriage 7 years ago. He’ll laugh and smile and crack jokes with Shaun about me. He won’t raise

an eyebrow as Shaun tells the girls to settle down or to use a spoon to eat the ice cream instead of eating it like a dog.
These are two grown men that aren’t threatened by each other and the roles they each have in their children’s lives.

This is the type of relationship I need to be in. This is the type of relationship that I am going to put effort into maintaining.
All the other relationships that don’t have 100% from everyone involved, I chose to not be a part of.
And this is the post where I sound mature, but later at dinner I’m probably going to pat my ex’s stomach and ask him when he’s due.

Comments (28)  //  Add Comment
14
May
is it June yet?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


My mom didn’t answer the phone all day! I tried calling that butthead 4 times today and she DID NOT PICK UP HER PHONE!

It was a ‘I want my mommy’ day today too. I thought we had all our ducks in a row all week long so we would have a great Mother’s Day and the morning

started out with the need of a Xanax.

I tried calling my mom in the morning, but she didn’t answer. When I realized my day wasn’t going to get any better I snuck out to call her at my sister’s

house thinking she would be over there, but she wasn’t.

Later in the day when I was the height of my irritation I called my mom…and she didn’t answer.

Thank you everyone for the Mother’s Day wishes. Next year will be better. right?

Comments (15)  //  Add Comment
13
May
Unheard of!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
May has SUCKED for me.
I’ll be glad when this month is over! In a couple of weeks I will go into the whole story of how truly bad his month sucked, but for now…trust me. SUCKED.

This morning a cop came knocking at my door because ‘The Pricks’ (the neighbors from hell) called because my dog barked at 9 in the morning and woke

them up. They are the chronic cop callers on everyone in the neighborhood. I’ve had them called on me because my hedge in the front yard was too high,

there were weeds in the backyard that were too high, because I had a boat parked in front of my house for 3 days, because I didn’t have my trash taken for 2

weeks in a row and because they said I left my dog in the house over the weekend and no one was home. They called it on the new neighbors because they

parked their car on the street and again for having a trailer parked in the driveway while they were moving in. They called the cops because they had a

basketball hoop in the street. The neighbor down the street got a visit from the cops because they were having a pool put in and the workers were making the

road dirty.

So in a very unlikely move, I confronted the neighbor after the cops left. I think the fact that the cop was grumpy that he had to come out because the caller

was ‘very agitated’ and insisted that my dog was non stop barking all night and into the morning.
I told the cop that my dog is crate trained and sleeps in the crate at night and is let out twice in the morning for 10 to 20 minutes to go pee and run around.

The cop said he was tired of the neighbor calling and said something like, ‘I’m sorry you have to live next to a ‘prick’.’ This bolstered my need to finally

confront The Prick.

It’s strange how some people can be just total self righteous pricks to other people.

Needless to say, he insisted that my dog was left out all night and barked all night and into the morning and I told him he was wrong.
I left shaking angry.

Then after the icky day, I called a few friends and bitched. I then went on my Flickr site and read all the comments people left. I read some great posts that

made me smile.
I read some posts from people needing help. My world got bigger and the stupid things in life didn’t seem so huge anymore.

Something totally cool and UNHEARD of happened. I came up with SPF for next week a WHOLE week before. Did you hear that? A WHOLE WEEK!

It’s about being inspired and how two people see things totally different.
For example, when Shaun takes a picture he sees what he’s already going to do with it. When I take a picture I am trying to capture that moment so when I

look at it again I can feel that moment as if it was happening all over again. Not to remember it, but to LIVE it.
Other people take the picture to caputure a moment to remember it.
Then there are people that see things out of this world in things we pass by every single day and might think it was trash. Some people can make something

ugly into something so beautiful.

I am inspired by Wave of Modulation. She takes my breath away. Not only with her pictures, but her words that are so real, raw and soul squeezing. This

week…it’s about WoM.

1. Something Discarded

2. Lay down on the ground and find something ugly and make it beautiful.

3. Take a picture in the style of the person that inspires you.

#3 is wide open – meaning if you took a picture that you wouldn’t have normally taken, but you thought, ‘hey so-in-so would love this’. Share with us your

inspirations!!

Today sucked, but I just spent 2 hours rereading an old friend’s blog and giggling at his pink guitars and it’s hard to not laugh when you read his blog. He’s

my internet secret lover…shhhh, don’t tell Shaun.

Comments (27)  //  Add Comment
11
May
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, stuff portrait friday


Something you have two of:





That isn’t the same camera.
Shaun and I have talked to a lot of people about how to have 5 kids and one income. Our friends and family encouraged us to do what we love and what we

were good at.

We both worked when we first got together and it was fantastic. It was fantastic for Shaun and I, but when we got home the kids were out of control. Tyler was

only 14 and he had to be in charge of 4 girls and by the time we got home he was almost in tears. We had to make a choice. I’ve been slowly going crazy at

home since. The kids, they are happy.
We are getting our business license, our website is almost up and with a loan we bought another camera. Our ex’s agreed to help us out on the weekends we

would be doing jobs by taking the kids for the day.
I already have a 4 weddings and a business that wants me to come shoot for them.
Yes, i’m scared as hell to do it, but I know we can do it. together.
Encouragement is always excepted so if you have some…please pass it on over…i’m overly grateful for any advice, words of wisdom or words of hope and

love.

Something I need two of:

I need two switches. I need one for ON and one for OFF. I need to be able to calm down when I need to cope and I need to be able to turn myself on (giggle)

when I need to be modivated to something.

I need more than one speed. I need ‘fast and slow’.

A couple reset buttons couldn’t hurt either.

TWO:



It was open house at Kara’s school and when I saw this I realized I found my two. TWO of them!

DID YOU PLAY???

Comments (82)  //  Add Comment
10
May
I think I might be pissed off, but I haven’t decided yet…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Sundial Bridge- Redding, California May 2006

I need a change. You know what I mean? I feel like I need someone to hook me up to the battery on the car and just give me a jolt of shock.
I need to be able to yell, “WHOOO HOOOO!” I need to dance again.

Right now, in this moment, I am ready to except that.

In the next moment, I will have forgotten how much I NEED this and I will go back to that place that makes me foreget what I need to do.

Comments (26)  //  Add Comment
09
May
SPF: assignment in pairs
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


1. Something you have 2 of.
2. Something you wish you had 2 more of.
3. “Two”

Don’t ask why I picked this, it has NOTHING to do with mother’s day, but knowing you guys you’ll find a way to make it into Mother’s Day. ;)

GET CREATIVE! Come on!! Go CRAZZZZYYY!!!
(I just saw 6,000 women tear off their shirts, “HOW ABOUT THESE TWO!??? HOW’S THAT FOR CREATIVE KRISTINE!?”….ohhh, Kin-ky!)

Comments (22)  //  Add Comment
09
May
$4,938.48
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


According to my EXIF data on the camera…I have taken 26,000 pictures with my Nikon.

If that was film, I would have spent almost 5 grand developing pictures.

Of course, I might have not taken the 75 pictures just so I could ‘out flash’ my mom and sister.

Okay, so 5 grand minus 75 times 19 cents.

So yeah. FIVE THOUSAND dollars in film processing.

Have you kissed your digital camera lately?

Comments (21)  //  Add Comment
08
May
i watched the whole thing. twice.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Click here and watch the whole thing. This guy is hysterical.

I’m a big fan of Cat’s snaking Tutorial, but she now has a run for her money!!

Comments (19)  //  Add Comment
08
May
and I was cursed.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: kara, My Brats


Shaun and I keep looking at each other and shaking our heads with this look of, “Was sex really worth all these kids?”

On Friday my heart broke. It was mended with sister/mom/shaun love and some good hair bleach on Saturday. On Sunday my heart rested.

On Monday my heart is angry. ONE TIME. I want to tell those little heathens ONE time to do something and then I want them to JUMP TO IT…and do it with a

damn smile on their faces…and get it done QUICKLY.

No such luck. It’s my mother’s curse. She has passed this on to me…and I will pass it on to each of my children. They will know they have been given the

curse when they call me one night after getting into a fight with their 9 year old over what flavor of cereal they will eat and I WILL LAUGH. I will laugh like my

mother has laughed.
Then I will suggest that they send my sweet grandchild to my house for a few hours so they can ‘have a break’…and I will rush out and buy that special cereal

and when my daughter mistakenly pulls out of the driveway for her ‘little break’, I will do the same thing my mother surely did to my children…I will tell them

that grandma loves them no matter what and that that child can do no wrong. I will juke that baby up on sugar and kisses. Then my sweet grandchild will love

me so very much and I can kick back and laugh at my daughter when she calls me again and again to complain about how HER DAUGHTER WON’T CLEAN

HER DAMN ROOM!
These little thoughts are the only things that get me through days like this one.
Sweet revenge.

Comments (14)  //  Add Comment

23
May
I bought wedding shoes today!!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
She finally thought it was time!!



I’m not a big, expensive shoe shopper. I get most of my shoes at Payless Shoe Source, but they don’t have the type of shoes I need for my wedding.
If I get heels, then I tower over Shaun and my dress comes to my ankles. Not good.

My mom suggested I go barefoot. I love you, Mom, but no. She then suggested flip flops. Now she’s talkin!
Shaun said, “I don’t want to hear you flip flopping all the way down the aisle.”
Good point, man-of-too-many-opinions.

Kara and Marina love Steve Madden shoes and after getting Alyx’s ears punctured the stopped at the Steve Madden store and showed me the shoes they love.

I loved them too, and I bought them for the wedding.

Wanna see em? Click Here.

Comments (30)  //  Add Comment
23
May
Watson, I think I figured it out!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I’ve been working on something for like…a hundred days. This “THING” i’m working on is making my hair fall out. If you don’t believe me about the hair

falling out thing, ask my sister, I think she can actually HEAR it.

So I figured something out while working on this “THING”. I don’t like working on “THINGS”. I like to THINK about working on things.
If you could actually accomplish something by the amount of ‘thinking’ you put into it, this “THING” would kick ass. My house would be clean. My body

would be so toned I would try to hump myself. Alas, THINKING about stuff, doesn’t get it done so I have to actually DO it.

oh and Shaun, stop leaving your ghetto ass Del Taco cups on my computer desk. Burger King is okay, but ghetto ass Del Taco…GOTS TA GO.
If you’re bored with me, which there is no shame, cause i’m bored of me too…go check out how my mom stabbed my sister with a knife on her blog.
Kathy whines alot, at least mom didn’t try to shoot her in the stomach like she did me.

Comments (13)  //  Add Comment
22
May
nuuuuuh…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Camera: focus on red, ZOOOOOOOOOOOOM out and focus on something else.
Me: What the hell? Focus you bitch!
Camera: focus on red flower, ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM out of focus onto… Dumbass ruining my shot.

I pulled out all my camping gear so I could lend a sleeping bag to ‘Cita’s husband and when Tyler saw all that camping gear he sucked all the air out of the

garage and it rushed out of his body with, ‘iwannagocampingyoupromisedmetotakemecampingpleasssssssssssssse’.
I have. I have been promising to take Tyler camping since the first time we cleaned the garage and he saw all my gear.
“You have…like…everything. How come you have all this camping gear?”
I had a Tori Spelling moment as I flashed back to the point where Dan and I started to split up all of our belongings and it came down to the Def Lepard CD’s

and the camping gear.
“I’m taking the camping gear, you won’t need it. You won’t go camping without me.”
” Yes I will. I want some of the gear.” I put down my foot.
“Okay…I’ll leave you some stuff.”
My first camping trip I found what he left me, the big tupperwear container everything was stored in. EMPTY.
I went to Target to replace all our camping gear and a lock for my tupperware container.
That camping gear got used 2 times in the last 7 years.
“So why do you have all this gear?” Tyler asked
“i don’t know.”

Being the dumbass I am, I decide that THIS weekend is the perfect weekend to take the kids camping.

California is a big state. Can I find a damn place to park a couple of tents? NO. Why do you ask? Because, as I mentioned before…I’m a dumbass.
I’m in Sacramento. I want a lake or an ocean. Why is is so hard to find a place? Am I just THAT lame? Is it because it’s a 3 day weekend?

Guess what? I need some links. Help??

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment
21
May
Can I borrow a chin PLEASE?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Despite the lack of chin in this shot, I like it.
YES, I AM STILL USING THE DAMN MACRO LENS!

I’m happy today. I wanted to share that with everyone. I don’t know if it’s from all the prayers and good vibes you are sending our gal Susie and some of it is

siphoning through me, but i’m SO happy today.

It’s sort of raining outside and i’m wearing a tank top and flip flops. The mean ass neighbors are still living next door to us. My back is a bit hurty. I’m happy.
I got some sparkly bath and body works smell goody stuff and I think it’s making me smile.

Today’s not so bad, in fact it’s pretty damn good.
Now if you don’t mind, I am going to go take another Vicoden and snort some Calgon.

Comments (25)  //  Add Comment
20
May
after the yelling, it gets serious. no really. read it all.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: friends


When I bought my Macro lens I told the guy, “I want the best Macro lens out there! I want to be able to crawl into whatever I am taking a picture of and be able

to see things you can’t see with the human eye.”
He thought I was crazy because I’m also the girl that goes into the camera shop once a month and drools over something new everytime….and then leaves. I

had just gotten my loan money and I splurged on the one thing I had been drooling over for months.

I walked out with this lens and I was so proud. I got it home and come to find out, I suck at Macro.
I tried taking it back a few times and each time the guy send me back to my car to ‘just shoot it some more. You’ll get the hang of it.” and then shows me a

million ways to make it work.

Last week was my final straw, I got everything together and I brought it back in. He shook his head at me and said, “Fine! You’ve got the best damn lens out

there and you want to trade it in and lose money. FINE. What do you want to replace it with?” I informed him that my passion is now Portrait photography.
His jaw, it um…hit the floor. I think he might have cursed at me in greek.
He reminded me of my father when I would bring home a test that I flunked and he would go over the chapters with me and point out that EVERY SINGLE

question on the test was the first parapgraph of every section. BOLDED.

“This is one of the TOP THREE portrait lenses. It does Macro yes, but you suck at Macro, so you don’t shoot in macro! You use this lens for a portrait lens

and nothing else! YOU HEAR ME? NOTHING ELSE! No macro for you! You shoot it 1000 times and then come back to me and if you’re still silly enough to get

rid of it, then we talk about trade!

On the way to the car I cried. I suck.

Shaun took us to the beach this weekend and I wasn’t allowed to shoot anything with any other lens. I had to keep the macro lens on and shoot portraits. As I

was sitting in my chair smoking a cig and enjoying the waves when I noticed a grain of sand on my hand. It was so tiny. I picked up a grain of sand and got

the bright idea of trying to get a picture of it. The sound of my camera guy blared in my head, “NO MACRO!”
So I just fluffed up a whole bunch of sand between my feet and took the picture above.

They look like little rocks huh? Nope, that is sand REALLY close up. It’s a bunch of them all together making one beautiful beach.

I got an email this morning from a friend we all know and love dearly. She believes in the power of the mulitudes. She believes in the power of prayer and

good thoughts.
She NEVER asks for help, but has always been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on or a question on how to handle myself. She is fair. She is loved. She

is in need.

I have a whole bunch of sand in my shoes, but not enough to make a beach. I need EVERYONE to stop for just one second and pray to whatever or whoever it

is you pray to. To take one second to take that possitive energy you were going to use today to walk the mall, ONE second to just say;

Please give her the strength to get through the tremendous pain she is in. Give her family the strength to except what has been and what will be.

All day, find something you do a hundred times a day, change a diaper, get a glass of water, say your child’s name, pick up a runaway toy and everytime you

do, just say, “give her strength”.

Please.

Comments (19)  //  Add Comment
18
May
SPF: Wave of Modulation Inspired!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday


I am inspired by Wave of Modulation. She takes my breath away. Not only with her pictures, but her words that are so real, raw and soul squeezing. This

week…it’s about WoM.

1. Something Discarded



This picture always haunts me. Why? I don’t understand why.

2. Lay down on the ground and find something ugly and make it beautiful.



It was a wire that once kept people out of places people thought they didn’t need to be.

3. Take a picture in the style of the person that inspires you.



I took this is Redding in my sister’s back yard. I took a bunch of pictures of leaves that had fallen to the ground when I saw this and thought this is a picture

Wave of Modulation would take. I was hoping she would notice it, and she did and I was thrilled to death.

Did you share this week?

Comments (45)  //  Add Comment
18
May
why I shot the TV.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
“hi, i’m miss bouncy trouncy and i use to be fat, but then I went on LA weight loss and I lost a chabillion pounds and I am skinny and cute. did i mention i

have 5 kids and a busy life? if i can do it, you can too!”

ONE MORE TIME BITCH, AIR THAT COMMERCIAL ONE MORE DAMN TIME AND I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN MISSY AND SHOVE A DAMN KRISPY KREME DOWN

YOUR DAMN THROAT!
Yeah. time for a xanax.

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment
18
May
Reminder…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I try to keep the STUFF PORTRAIT FRIDAY list up HERE. If you ever wonder what Friday’s list is, try that link.

Tomorrow’s Assignment:
For THIS Friday, May 19th, 2006

I am inspired by Wave of Modulation. She takes my breath away. Not only with her pictures, but her words that are so real, raw and soul squeezing. This

week…it’s about WoM.

1. Something Discarded

2. Lay down on the ground and find something ugly and make it beautiful.

3. Take a picture in the style of the person that inspires you.

#3 is wide open – meaning if you took a picture that you wouldn’t have normally taken, but you thought, ‘hey so-in-so would love this’. Share with us your

inspirations!!

Comments (5)  //  Add Comment
18
May
and she will be loved..
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


She’s beautiful huh? She has perfect teeth, perfect smile, beautiful eyes, clear skin.
She also has a low self esteem.

She said she thinks she needs to lose weight and her that her nose is too big.
I took 400 pictures of her, I developed 75 of them and I asked her, “you tell me in which picture you look fat or that your nose is too big?”

When I left she was looking at her pictures and herself in a whole new light. I didn’t make her beautiful, but I caught it and I got to share it.

I might have found my calling. I want people who don’t feel beautiful to look at themselves with new eyes, with MY eyes.

Now if I could just teach myself that lesson I could stop deleting all the pictures of myself that we take.

Comments (25)  //  Add Comment
16
May
My Fellow Americans…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Shaun here, blognapping for a minute. The president getting in the way of my show pushed me into action. As the first ever president elected from the

Random and Odd party, I’d like to outline my top ten goals for this term:

1. Every American will get one ‘Ousted Idol’ day off work per Fox season. You must submit your favorite to your boss by the top ten. If your Idol gets ousted,

you get that Thursday off to grieve.

2. Gasoline prices are set and locked in by each gas station on January 1st every year, and must remain the same for the entire calendar year. If you’re the

ARCO on one corner, you’d better bid one cent per gallon lower than the Chevron across the street. Let these guys make a few cents per gallon instead of

screwing us.

3. I’m having a White House barbeque and inviting every world leader. Before I serve the burgers, I’m asking each of them if they’d like their country to be on

our nice list or naughty list. The nice countries get our support and trade benefits. The naughty countries are not even recognized anymore. You can starve,

you can get blown off the map, I don’t care because you chose the naughty list even after I invited you to my barbeque. That’s just rude. You explain that to

your people. At next year’s barbeque, you’ll be begging to get in.

4. No more TV shows turned into movies, and no more remakes of old movies. The bad ones outnumber the good ones. You’ll have to actually be creative

and write something new.

5. Wednesdays are Family Nights at EVERY restaurant, video store, and movie theater. These places must offer specials on these nights. Let them compete

and offer better deals. Give parents a break ONE night a week.

6. Let any single American adult marry any other single American adult. I don’t care about their sexual orientation any more than I care about their skin color

or musical preference(rap fans will still be unable to marry country-western fans, of course). Marriage, to the government, is a legally binding relationship. If

gays can get home loans and lesbians can obtain auto financing, then I think we can trust them to not use their gay-hypnosis ray to sway our straight children

into gaydom. If you’re religiously opposed to this, don’t marry a gay or lesbian. When they’re breaking a law written by Americans instead of an interpretation

of a 2000 year old book, then we’ll talk.

7. Public school teachers don’t ever have to pay federal income taxes as long as they’re teaching. They’re never going to be paid what they’re worth, but this

at least shows some appreciation. Community college will be free to every American until they receive their Associates degree or their 21st birthday, as long

as they maintain a C average throughout. No kid can claim ignorance. If they’re stupid, its because they’re also lazy.

8. I don’t want to see Jesse Jackson anywhere anymore. Anywhere. He’s like the ‘Where’s Waldo’ of racist situations. Seriously. Find an old picture or video of

any race riot, mixed-race criminal issue, black person in trouble with the law. Look for the red and white striped shirt or the big white glasses. Just go away.

9. There will be NO televised presidential speeches, except on Fridays, when the TV schedule sucks. In the event of a national emergency, my speech will only

be televised on the lowest rated network of the Big Four. Those interested in the news will find CNN. If you need an escape, you should be able to watch 24 or

your soap opera. Plus you can always catch the speech on my Myspace profile.
10. You’ll speak English. That’s my only requirement of you. You want to live here, you’ll learn it. You don’t have to unlearn your native language. Speak

however you’d like at home or social events. At school, in public, you’ll speak the language of the USA. If I go to Canada, I’m learning Canadish without

complaining.

Thank you for your time, and don’t forget your Stuff Portrait Friday pictures.

Comments (53)  //  Add Comment

01
Jun
I’m getting married next month. HOLY CRAP!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday


Something Sparkly:



I know the boobs are a bit of a distraction, but check the broach between the girls. SPARKLY!
Yes, this is the only picture you will ever find that shows that I have ta-ta’s. Oh, and Metro…they are SMOKIN’ hot in this shirt. July 8th baby, JULY 8th and the

sexual tension will just have to stop *wink wink*

Something Dull:



I bet at one time it was all shiny!!

Something colorful:



I picked this for my ‘colorful’ because I just look at this picture and try to imagine what this woman’s story is. I found this picture at the street fair in Folsom

one week and I keep coming back to look at it. I bet she has a colorful story.

*snapping fingers* Hey, down here, stop scrolling back up there to look at the girls*

Did you play?

Comments (71)  //  Add Comment
01
Jun
opening up and bursting forth
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Today was a day to dip my feet in the Pondering Pool. Much like when I read Wave of Modulation, I find myself reading the words and looking at the pictures

and being touched and moved to places I don’t normally allow myself to go.

I can’t really go into deep how bad May sucked, but I believe it all happened for a reason. I walked outside today and decided that things in my life are going

to change.
I swear, I am just going to call myself ‘Earl’. I have become a firm believer in Karma.
Because I did something bad, something bad happened to me. Because I went through something bad, I’m seeing the results of that.

Today I realized that it’s not a case of ‘being too late to start over’, but a EVERY SINGLE DAY part of ‘starting over’.

It’s not ‘too late’. It’s not to late to shed the person you were or a part of you that you don’t like. This is something that is happening if we like it or not. Shit is

going to happen in your life to shine a light on a part of your life. When the part of us is DONE, by either destroying friendships, relationships or something

good it’s going to come BURSTING through. That part of us is done and now I can sit here and say, “Well, that sucked.” or I can say, “Ahh. I see. I see that

part of myself really needed to get out and now I can take it and tuck it back in or I can let it go and figure out what will fill that place with.”

There is this huge hole in my being. It’s open and it’s raw. I’m weighted down with everything that happened in May. Today when I walked outside and looked

at my car I realized, ‘Everything that has happened in this last month is MINE. I’m taking responsiblity for it’ and I suddenly felt so much better.

There were some things that happened that I don’t own. That person in the truck that crashed into the back of me and then instead of owning up to what he

did, he pulled away while I sat there in disbelief. I don’t own that. That ain’t mine, baby. There is a reason I haven’t said anything, but today…I owned what I

need to do. That’s mine. That huge dent and missing taillight is MINE. I own that and I am not going to stress on how I was going to fix it the wrong way. I’m

not. When I realized that, I could finally breath again.

Everything….all this stress that I had last month…MINE. I own up to it. If I would have done the things I needed to do to fix it, I wouldn’t have been able to

wear my stress like a heavy necklace to show everyone. Poor me. NO, not poor me. I’m the dumbass that should have done what I KNEW I needed to do. I

KNEW I had to do it.

I can breath today. I dipped my foot into the pondering pool and realized I need to just take off the necklaces, rings and ankle weights and say, “I own this. I

don’t own that. This is mine. This is yours.”

Today I am free.

Comments (22)  //  Add Comment
31
May
you asked for it…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Okay, Okay…loud and clear.

1. Something ‘Sparkly’

2. Something ‘Dull’

3. Something ‘Colorful’

Yeah, I know…shut up. Be nice. BAD MONTH.

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment
31
May
MAY 2006 SUCKED
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
It would have been FAR too easy to leave the most horrible month of my life THUS far end without the last day sucking like a mutha.

and to top it off, i forgot to screw the lid back on my 3.99 bottle of wine last night.

Comments (24)  //  Add Comment
30
May
is it so wrong???
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I have the last episode of American Idol saved on my Tivo. There are a few things I just can delete. I had like 19 episodes of “Nip Tuck” just in case I ever

needed to get in the mood, but Shaun made me delete them to make room for his episodes of “24″
So now whenever I need a little encouragement I have him talk to me like ‘Jack’ and I pretend that it’s Christian Troy. Sacrifices people, sacrifices.

The last episode of American Idol will stay on there for awhile though because of three seconds of pure heaven. No, not the part where Chris opens his mouth

or Pickler shuts hers, but the moment that Clay Aiken walks out on stage and the guy FREAKS THE FUCK OUT! I swear, I have rewound that on Tivo at least 20

times and I laugh just as hard as I did the first time I saw it.

When Shaun and I were laying in bed watching it for the third time he looked at me and said, “I love you because of that laugh RIGHT there. It’s so evil.”
I couldn’t respond because I was crying with laughter.
“Rewind.it.one.more.time.”

Last night I had deleted the episode of “Medium” that Kara thought she would have saved, so she decided to watch the AI episode. When that part came on,

she laughed JUST LIKE I DID! She rewound it as many times as I did and laughed and found all the same parts of this guy FREAKING THE FUCK OUT as

funny as I did!!

Oh, how the little things in life can turn my whole day around….that or the glass of wine I had consumed.

Who knew that $3.99 could taste so good?

Comments (30)  //  Add Comment
30
May
The Face Of Braces
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


My baby girl is mastering the art of taking a picture without showing off her braces.
She looks really cute with them, but she doesn’t agree.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. We lived through it and only took something like 1200 pictures.

This post feels forced huh?

I’m stressing about the wedding and when I start that whole ‘stressing’ thing, I don’t like to open my mouth. I want to just sit here in my stress and stress on

the stress.
RSVP. I never realized how important those damn things were until I have to plan something around it. I am also surprised on how many people, despite the

fact that I addressed and stamped the envelope, DO NOT RSVP.
I think I have 75 people having a 4th grade flash back where they are not sure if they can commit to checking the box that says, ‘yes, i like you’.
Shaun’s side of the family is pretty good about it, but ONE person on my side actually mailed the damn thing back. You would think we were raised in the

damn mountains and only go to the post office once a month! Ohhhhh, yeah, we were.

Yeah. I should probably hit delete, like I have the last 4 times I have tried to post, but I guess I should at least let you know i’m alive.

I’m alive. How about you?

Comments (30)  //  Add Comment
26
May
before you hear it from someone else…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Let’s set the groundwork which I can only set HALF of it because the other half I can’t even talk about yet.

May…has sucked…we clear on this? SUCKED.

So I decide yesterday that I was going to go to the gym and I grabbed ‘Cita and drug her out there with me.
To reward ourselves we decided to get a latte from the casino, because EVERYONE knows that those indian casinos make thee best Starbuck Lattes.
I have 15 bucks. She has 15 bucks. So we park our asses at a .5 cent machine.

I smoke. The casino has a large section for non-smokers. I’m also a smoker that won’t smoke in public because I fear that someone will walk through the

smoke and get all weird. I smoke at home. I smoke at the bar with the other smokers and I smoke at the casino. I do not smoke in the non-smoking part of the

casino.
If you’re not a smoker and you say, “can you put that out?” I will jump to put my smoke out and then spend the next 20 minutes telling you how sorry I am I

smoke. I don’t even care if you are mean to me about asking me to put it out. I PUT IT OUT.

So i’m sitting at this .5 cent machine and this guy starts COUGHING so loudly. I mean, it’s SOOOO obvious what he’s trying to do, but it’s gone from ‘cough

cough’ to “hack hack”. I look over at him and he gives me the EVIL EYE and then COUGHS IN MY FACE.

Let me just take a second to remind you, if he would have said a single word about putting out my smoke, I would have JUMPED, but he COUGHED IN MY

FACE ON PURPOSE!

I very nicely say, “Sir, there is a whole section of non-smoking right over there.” and I mean, I said it so nicely I could feel sugar forming on the corners of

my mouth!

He GROWLS…I use this word not for effect, but to truly describe his tone, “I DON’T WANT TO GO *pregnant pause* OVER THERE.”

I go back to playing…and smoking….and then I start shaking because I am now…what is this? PISSED? Me? ANGRY? yes…

HE THEN COUGHS NON STOP IN MY FACE. “HACK-THE FUCK-HACK!” IN MY FACE. ‘Cita thought for sure he was going to pop something because he was

coughing so loudly IN MY FACE. He wasn’t even playing his machine anymore, he was focusing on coughing on me.

And then something in me snapped.

I turned to the man and I said oh so sweetly, “Sir, if you cough on me one more time, I’m going to take this here ciggarette and put it out on your arm.”

There was a sound from behind me, It was ‘Cita’s jaw dropping.

He retorted with, “Good, I’ll sue you.”

and I said something that came from my heart, “I’m not scared.”
I’m not scared anymore.

I’m still going to be one of those people that will ask if my smoke is bothering them and put it out. I’m also the person that will let the old lady go in front of

me at the grocery store. I’m also going to the person that doesn’t put up with RUDE ASS PEOPLE.

So if you’re a non smoker and someone is smoking and it’s bothering you…just ask them to put it out. If they don’t put it out, they are rude and they are

going to die anyway…and they are going to smell.

If you’re a smoker and someone says in any tone, ‘ick please put it out.’, just do it. You can spark up later.

But if you run into that little bastard from the casino, smoker or non smoker you better do what I did right before I got up from my spot. Take a big ol drag of

your smoke and blow that fucker right in his face.

“Kristine, did you just say you would put your smoke out on him?”
“Yes, I did.”
“You know it’s time to get you into anger management, right?”
“Yep.”

I’m pretty sure that smoke is STILL billowing around his head.

Comments (55)  //  Add Comment
25
May
Stuff Portrait Friday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday


1. Your suitcase/s or travel bag.



You’ve asked to see the Tim Allen ‘Camera’ bag. This is it. We also have the backpack we put our stuff in, but this is mine…cause Shaun won’t carry it.


2. Your ground.



This is MY ground. Yeah, it has crab grass and dry spots, but it’s MINE.
3. Something you are powerless to.



I’m powerless to school projects! FIVE kids with an average of 3 projects a school year.
I’m also powerless to the cute note he wrote me this morning about the stuff he would need to finish the project.
I’m also powerless to sitting on the couch and helping him cut stuff out and give him ideas.
DID YOU PLAY??

Comments (44)  //  Add Comment
25
May
I lost my head and forgot spf…sort of.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Just a wee-touch of the ‘angry depression’ had me hiding under the covers for the past week.
I watched Oprah yesterday, because you know…nothing like watching a halocaust survior walk through the gates of Auschwitz death camp to cheer you up. I

watched the whole thing and I didn’t cry. I couldn’t cry because I can’t wrap my mind around it. I can’t, as a passionate, loving, woman and mother imagine

that type of betrayal, pain and loss. It’s too big for my mind. SIX million people died there and that was just ONE camp. I saw the hair, the shoes and the

suitcases, but it was too big for my mind.
After it was over, I did something I haven’t done in a couple of days. I got up, took a shower, put on my make up and I left the house on my own free will. I

have that right. I have that right to be able to just get up and go as I damn well please. My mind, my anxiety and my sudden spurts of depression scare me,

but It’s not the fear of walking into a gas chamber against my own will or watching everyone you’ve ever known be divided into groups and not knowing that

may or may not be the last time you see them.
OH hell no, depression robbed me of hours of my week and scared me under my covers for days…but unless my depression is carring a gun, i will no longer

be a prisoner.

Remind me the next time I get a touch of the depression to watch Shindler’s List or Kramer vs. Kramer. Something that gets me fired up.
This weeks SPF is sort of based on Auschwitz.

1. Your suitcase/s or travel bag.
2. Your ground.
3. Something you are powerless to.
It’s only as hard as you make it.

Comments (24)  //  Add Comment
24
May
Dashababy (my sister) said the lines add “character”
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Random


Personally…I think they make me look older than the 24 28 34 year old that I am.

I like this picture regardless of the lines and how my make up looks like I put it on in the 80′s.

This post is about me being a bitch. RAGING bitch yesterday. I just HAD.A.DAY.

Let’s start with bedrooms. Mine for starters. WHY does everything that doesn’t have a ‘place’ end up in MY room? and stuff…where the hell did all this STUFF

come from? and clothes…I DON’T HAVE A DRESSER, but I HAVE CLOTHES.
You might be asking yourself why I have no dresser…let’s move on to the 13 year old’s rooms.
They have TWO dressers. BOTH ARE EMPTY! why? BECAUSE THE CLOTHES ARE ON THE FLOOR!
The little ones…why do we keep buying them toys? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? STOP THE MADNESS WITH THE TOYS.
The boy…oh don’t get me started on the boy. A couple of days ago he says, “I need to get my girlfriend a present. Take me to the mall.” Notice there is no

QUESTION MARK at the end of that sentence. IT WAS A DEMAND.
After my eyebrows crawled out from my hair line and the head returned from the ‘OH HELL NO YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT’ tilt it fell into…I decided I had to

go to the mall anyway to get Alyx’s ears torn into with cute earrings.

I brought Shaun with me to the mall, because the mood I was in, there was a good shot that three of them might get left behind to find a way home with

strangers.

The only saving grace to the trip to the mall is that Shaun picked up the neighbor’s kids. Chelsea and Andrew seem to balance out our 5 kids. If you’re

already a moron enough to bring 5 kids to the malls, why not add two more?

“The Boy” who was, “The Man” because he has leg hair and is taller than everyone else in the family has gone back to being “The Boy” because he has

decided to argue with me. He hasn’t figured out when he starts a conversation he thinks should go his way that when my eyebrows start raising, raising,

raising and you can no longer see them on my forehead because they have crawled into my hairline and my lip starts twitching that he should just SHUT UP.

He doesn’t though. He questions me….WHILE THE EYEBROWS ARE STILL MIA!
For example; his girlfriend of forever has a birthday coming up, he knows this. He gets some cash from his grandma for helping her out a bit. We go to the

mall, he buys something and then asks me…AND I QUOTE, “Do you think I can some reimbursment for this?”
eyebrow twitch out of confusion, “I’m thinking she might kiss you, but I wouldn’t expect more than that.”
OH NO…silly me, he wanted me TO GIVE HIM THE MONEY HE SPENT ON HIS GIRLFRIEND’S PRESENT.

Now if I had given into this…she better have at least kissed me and least grabbed a boob.

BUT I DIDN’T. Because HELLO…SHE ISN’T MY GIRLFRIEND!

I said, “no. you still haven’t paid me back for all the other stuff I got you.” let me rephrase that, I said it in a tone that would suggest you better just stop

talking.

He didn’t. He argued. EYEBROWS GONE. I looked at Shaun who was hiding behind the camera. I then looked to Chelsea, who is the boss of “The Boy” and all

she did was SHRUG. She might have given him ‘THE LOOK’ she gives him because instead of arguing he decided to pout.

I went home and Shaun had Tivoed Amercian Idol. I BITCHED THE WHOLE DAMN WAY THROUGH.
“THEY SANG THAT ALREADY. YOUR HAIR LOOKS STUPID! BITE ME! IT SHOULD BE CHRIS UP THERE!”

I woke up this morning to “The Boy” asking me for his social security number so he could try to get a job at one of the stores around here. I have given him

this number 3 times already.
He said, “Okay, well…just text it to me.”

I’m going to text him, 867-00-5309 or 666-66-6666.

Comments (28)  //  Add Comment

12
Jun
I gotta finda new place where the kids are hip
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Rocklin Skate Park
It’s the first ‘official’ day of Summer for me.
Thursday was their last day of school and Friday I didn’t see them because they were gone.
TODAY is the first official, laying down the law, chores will be done, RULES WILL BE FOLLOWED, summer.

It’s 29 minutes into the day and only some small fighting and whining. No complaints yet.

I haven’t had my coffee, so they might be out there killing each other and I wouldn’t know because my brain is still stuck in the dream where I ended up

having to become a day care lady and had to somehow get my boobs to produce milk. I was handed a breast pump and I had no idea what to do with it. After

about 20 minutes I realized that there was not enough suction in the world to get my boobs to make milk and the only way to get it to be strong enough was to

put my Nikon battery in there. I woke up shortly after trying to figure out how to change the batteries.

I spent all day Sunday backing up my computer. I had about 30 gig of pictures that I had to copy and delete. Thank God for CD burners and Flickr.

My most awesomest man in the whole world made me BBQ steaks for dinner on Saturday night. He then repeated his awesomestness on Sunday when he

made our favorite ‘sgetti and garlic bread!

What did you do this weekend?

Comments (33)  //  Add Comment
09
Jun
LOL!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Kalki may love Jon Stamos, but I now have a new found respect for Bob Saget.

Click Here to watch the Video

Comments (24)  //  Add Comment
08
Jun
SPF: ap·er·ture
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


A wide open space



I picked this picture for ‘wide open space’ because everytime I hear that song, I think of Shingletown, California where I grew up.
This is Kara when she was about 3 or 4 years old. It was taken on the road I grew up on.

Brightness



This is a shameless way of me being able to tell you all that the boy graduated 10th grade with a 4.0 grade average. He is the brightest one in our family.

Cant’cha tell?

In the dark



This would have came out SO much better if I had taken it using the tripod, but I was too lazy.

Okay Ya’all…did you play?

Comments (66)  //  Add Comment
08
Jun
I hope you’re not waiting for me to come up with something good to write about…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

In exactly TWENTY MINUTES summer in the Stone-Baland household starts.

Today marks exactly 30 days until I get married. It also marks the 45th time I have started a diet since getting engaged. It also marks the first day of the diet

that will SOMEHOW shave off this extra ohhhhhhhh 80 lbs I need to shed. It marks the day that I have officially lost my mind. Put this day in your calendar

kids, because I’m going to go crazy..and this will be the day that started it. June 8th. 30 days from my wedding.

I sat down today and took note of all the crap I haven’t done for the wedding.
You know what, when things get bad in your life, just be grateful I didn’t plan your wedding.
On a good note, A buttload of people are not coming so that means less of everything.

I don’t have a garder. SHHH. Don’t tell anyone. The thought of hiking my leg up on some chair and having Shaun shove his hands up my dress to…..hold up

a second…having a daydream…..I’m back. NO. I will not subject the hams to being shown off in front of small children and old people so we can keep with

tradition. There will be no garder at my wedding. The reason I bought the big dress was to hide all that stuff.

Fake flowers. I ran it by my sister and again I was told “Oh hell no.” My sister, the most unghettoest person I know went all ghetto and said, “OH HELL NO.” I

think she might have snapped her finger too.
In an attempt to save some money I decided I would buy some flowers to put together for a bouquet and I swear you would have thought I was trying to get

married in black or something.
I heard people I don’t even know rolling over in their graves!! “FAKE FLOWERS IN A BRIDAL BOUQUET? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

8 minutes left of my daily freedom.
Okay. I’m ready. I can do this. I do this every year. I get freaked out on the last day of school. I’m afraid i’m going to have to re-learn how to entertain my

children.

One minute and counting….i’ve gotta go pick up my brats….

SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMA!

Comments (39)  //  Add Comment
07
Jun
The Stolen Sidekick
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
If you haven’t read this story, remember…you heard it here FIRST.

The Stolen Sidekick (complete with pictures!!)
Shaun and I got a good laugh out of it. It’s just Karma kicking the shit out of this woman. You steal ‘or buy stolen property’ and you treat someone like

crap…you’re going to get your face plastered on the internet…sometimes it sticks, sometimes it doesn’t. THIS TIME IT DID.

Comments (18)  //  Add Comment
07
Jun
block, blockity, BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Ready for just rambling on and on about nothing? Good, that’s what I got, and I got a lot.

1. I found a feature on my Outlook express that BLOCKS people from sending me email. You know what that means? No more spam about my penis size or if

my girl is cheating on me.
I have been little miss blocky boo.

2. I found an old boyfriend on MySpace. Hee Hee, I can’t talk about him because he might someday find me here and if he does I would be MORTIFIED if he

knew I told you the story where he scared me to death with my first kiss that I swore these lips would never touch another boy. Good thing I’m too lazy to

invest time and energy into becoming a lesbian because I totally could have turned the road RIGHT THERE.

3. I love Tivo. I know you know this because I am whore for my tivo, but you don’t realize how much you love Tivo until your cable gets shut off and all you’re

left with is what you have recorded on your Tivo. When the cable gets turned back on, I am going to be like a full on Tivo whore who records EVERYTHING

and deletes NOTHING. I can only watch Dirty Dancing one more time before the song, “She’s like the Wind” is burned into my memory banks and I request it

gets played at the wedding and my funeral.
I also have “Top Secret” with Val Kilmer recorded, but no. I can’t watch that again.

4. I have decided that SOMEDAY i’m not always going to be this broke and I am going to go to Vegas when i’m not broke. I am going to invite the internet to

go too. We will have a huge party somewheres. There will be drinks, boobs and cameras. You are all invited. I think Bucky and Jessica Rabbit should be the

planners. *innocent looking* Because they are such good kids.
What happens in Vegas baby.
5. Today officially marks the last full school day. Tomorrow is the last day. Summer is here and I am out of Xanax. Send something stronger.

6. No really. SEND SOMETHING STRONGER.

7. There are things I am pretending aren’t bothering me, but they are.

8. I’ve gone a whole 4 days without CNN, CSPAN, TODAY and Regis and Kelly. I sure hope to hell something huge hasn’t happened and I missed it.

9. I wish my last name was Trump or Gates.

10. I’m going to kill Tyler’s Dog.

Comments (18)  //  Add Comment
06
Jun
Shea comes in ’3′s
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Shaun learned a new trick with his Photo Impact program. Now I have THREE of the third child.
In fact, Shaun’s been having a blast with his new camera and you can see how much fun by checking out ‘our’ Flickr site.

SPF this week is brought to you by with the help of Dictionary.com

1. ap·er·ture
n.

An opening, such as a hole, gap, or slit.
A usually adjustable opening in an optical instrument, such as a camera or telescope, that limits the amount of light passing through a lens or onto a mirror.
The diameter of such an opening, often expressed as an f-number.
The diameter of the objective of a telescope.
Because I know you’re all just weirdos that read my site, your assignment isn’t going to be a hole, a gap or a slit because UPPERCASE God only knows what

you’ll be showing me!

SPF ASSIGNMENT:

1. A wide open space.

2. Brightness

3. In the dark

Have fun SPFers because this is another, ‘it’s how you see it’ type of assignment. Surprise me!

Comments (19)  //  Add Comment
05
Jun
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Dashababy, Shaun, The Fonz, Wedding


Thanks for all the emails and kind comments from this morning’s anxiety post. I lasted about two more hours and then I broke down in hysterical tears that

woke Shaun up enough where he said he wasn’t going to hear anymore of the ‘i’m fine’. He got up and had to get me water because I was crying and unable to

breath all together.

It was around 5 am that the sobbing finally slowed down and I had heard, “nothing bad is going to happen.” about 67 times and the double dose of Xanax

kicked in.
I tried to explain to him, “It’s like someone very close to me just tragicly died.” is the only way to explain the pain I was in.

The perfect seque:

I had my bridal shower on Saturday. It went well. I’m the proud owner a waffle iron and many large towels. My future mother-in-law and my own mother looked

like they had lots of fun picking out new stuff for me. I am very lucky to have the friends and family that I do. I’m grateful for all of them.
I’m pretty sure i’ve mentioned it before that I’m not too good with crowds or parties that would put me right smack in the middle of attention. Between my

friends and family when we are together we share the spotlight and there is no pressure to entertain. When the thought of a bridal shower came up I thought,

‘mmmm, cake’ and hadn’t really thought the whole thing through.
“You have to register SOMEWHERE Kristine!” My friend, ‘Cita and my beautiful friend, Lisa insisted. They are smarter than I am when it comes to stuff like

this so they drug me to Bed, Bath and Beyond and handed me a gun. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the one I could shoot myself in the head with. I had to be bribed

with a Latte if I was a good girl and could decide on some stuff.
I kept asking, “Is this good? Can I ask for this?”
They kept looking at me as if I were nuts, “I don’t think people will think you’re too weird for asking for towels.”

The day before the shower the panic attacks started. There was some things that had popped up that I tried to just ignore and pretend like they weren’t that big

of a deal, but as it got closer I realized I was going to have to deal with some of it.
By Saturday morning I was begging Shaun to find a way out of it because I was I was going to die if I had to go to my own shower and be the center of all that

attention.
My mom said I only had to go for an hour. She lies, but it was good enough to get me in the car.
Shaun had gone over earlier in the day to help ‘Cita decorate and showed up before we left. “You’ll do fine. We’ll get you drunk when you get home okay?”
DEAL.

My friend, ‘Cita was all stressed out and in order to try to calm her nerves, I tried to pull it together long enough to help her stress level to come down.
Why do bridal or baby showers have to be so stressful for everyone involved?

I heard things like, “What do your flowers look like?” “What kind of cake are you having?” “Who’s doing the food?”
I just shrugged, because even though the wedding is July 8th…I haven’t gotten those things figured out. Shut up, I know…I get married in 32 days and these

things should have been taken care of.
Someone said to me, “Just get what you need, one thing at a time.” and that is what I have been doing.
It came down to flowers or Tyler’s yearbook.
Tyler got his yearbook.
The flowers will have to come later.

After it was over I got to spend some time with my mom and sister. Yes, true to Shaun’s promise he got me drunk.
I got to dance with my mom and sister, laugh and giggle.

They have all the pictures because I didn’t even pick up the camera ALL weekend. You’re going to have to beg my sister for the picture of me looking like a

goober all souped up on Captain Morgan.
If you beg in her comment section, she’s likely to post the picture of Shaun’s big ol’ noggin too.

Comments (23)  //  Add Comment
05
Jun
Define Anxiety
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety
breathe (brth)
v. breathed, breath·ing, breathes
v. intr.

To inhale and exhale air, especially when naturally and freely.
I think he key word is FREELY. I can’t seem to remember how to do this. It’s 2:30 in the morning and I can’t breathe on my own. I keep stopping. I then start to

try to force myself to breathe. I try so hard that it feels like I am trying too hard and I almost hyperventilate. I then try to calm myself down and that’s when

Shaun wakes up… to me babbling to myself.
He asks me, “You okay?”
and what do I say? “Yeah. I’m fine. I’m okay.”
Then I tell him to go back to sleep.
I lay there in bed wanting to just smother him while he sleeps because he’s SLEEPING while I am not breathing.
He wakes up because I’m trying so hard to breathe that I am now coughing.
“You okay?”
and I say, “Yeah, I’m okay.”
But really, i’m not okay. I can’t say, “no, i’m not okay and i’m not going to be okay because i’m drowning in anxiety and unless you live with this like I do,

you willl never understand it and you can’t make it all better.”
He does try to make it all better though. He tries to understand it. He hugs me and tells me it’s going to be okay.
I wouldn’t give this to him if he asked to take it from me for even a minute so I could rest. He wouldn’t know how to deal with this type of raw, scared feeling

that takes your breath away and leaves your whole body aching and your skin cold. No one, NO ONE should ever be this scared unless they are being attacked

by a large, hungry animal.
“what are you afraid of?”
Everything. There isn’t anything that these anxiety attacks don’t uncover.
Tonight, it is everything.
Tomorrow night it will be something else.

I wonder if someday when he asks, “Are you okay?” I will truly and honestly be able to say, “Yeah. I’m okay.” ?

I wonder if the day will come when I can breathe naturally and freely.

Comments (21)  //  Add Comment
02
Jun
Random and Odd
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
“Kristine, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“On the bookmark tab..who spelled ‘dictionary’ wrong?”

I know it was me, but I can pull this off like it wasn’t. “Huh?”

“Someone made dictionary.com a tab, but it’s spelled wrong. The word, ‘dictionary’ it’s spelled WRONG.” He’s laughing now because he knows it was me.

“Well, you got the dot com part right.”

“Shut up, Shaun.”

Comments (21)  //  Add Comment

23
Jun
can I take a moment…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I took this picture yesterday and I have been looking at it all day.

Can I just be a typical parent for one second and brag JUST A BIT?

This little girl made me a mommy. A real true life MOMMY. She’s 13 now.

And I think that she is the most beautiful 13 year old. EVER. She’s not only beautiful on the outside, she’s beautiful on the inside…and that’s the important

part. She ‘gets’ people. Do you know how hard it is to communicate with a 13 year old who doesn’t ‘get it’? She gets it. She’s a butthead sometimes, but she’s

MY butthead.

She’s funny too. She’s a dork, JUST LIKE ME.

I think she is so beautiful.

and she looks good in her roosterteeth t-shirt.

Comments (33)  //  Add Comment
22
Jun
SPF: does anyone even play this game? :) hee hee.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Your Drinking Glasses:



Yeah, I drink out of it on Friday. Oh, and I was going to take a picture of the John Deere glass that holds a special place in my heart.

My Address Book



I don’t have stationary, but this Address book has every address I have ever known!!


Something New



OH. MY. GOD. These ‘Space Bags’ were given to me for my bridal shower and I swear I want to put EVERYTHING in a space bag and suck the air right out. I

might have a wee bit of an addiction problem with the Space Bags.
Speaking of BRIDAL SHOWER…Sue and Charlotte are throwing a big ol’ online Bridal Shower for me.
She made a web page that made me cry: Kristine and Shaun’s Bridal Shower.
There is a going to be a online chat using YAHOO messenger on Monday Night. If you don’t have Yahoo…get it, or get something better that works with

Yahoo/MSN/AOL called Trillion.

Check out the Website, and add me to your Yahoo friends: kristine_seguin

I can’t wait to talk to you all!!

Did anyone else play SPF this week?

Comments (53)  //  Add Comment
22
Jun
Reading…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
or avoiding laundry?

How To Cheat Good
Trying to Cancel AOL account …gone wrong.
The Monkey Chow Challenge
I’ve also spent the last 7 minutes trying to figure out why children don’t understand the word, “NO.”

Comments (12)  //  Add Comment
21
Jun
cold feet.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I realized last night that Alyx may look dead on like her father, but her inner workings are just like mine.

I came home to 2 teary eyed little girls. Shea knows the best place to trap me is in the bathroom mid-pee. She has my attention fully as she holds the toilet

paper hostage.

“Daddy spends more time with everyone else, but me.”

“What? hand me the toilet paper honey.”

She stepped back a step and raised her ever so dramatic eyebrow. “Ryan only takes Alyx for walks and not me. I’m serewous mom. No one notices me. Dad

pays more attention to Kara.”

I convinced her that I will have a long talk with Ryan and Dan about how much time they spend with her. In return she gave me the roll back.

I went into the bedroom to say good night to Alyx only to find her sobbing and Marina trying to make it all better.
“WHOA, what’s wrong Alyx?”

“I WANT YOU AND DADDY TO GET BACK TOGETHER *hick, sob* BUT DON’T WANT SHAUN TO LEAVE!”

“Alyx-sweetie…I’m not that religion.”

I sat with her and listened to all her worries. She was afraid that Dan didn’t have any money and that he would lose his apartment. She was afraid he was going

to starve to death. She was afraid that he wasn’t going to have any place to live.”
She was in full anxiety attack mode.

As I stroked her hair, I convinced her that everything was going to be fine. That no matter how big of a house we all had, Daddy would rather drink Liquid

Drano than live with me again. I told her that she spends more time with her Daddy than most kids with parents that are still together do. I told her that I

promised that if ANYTHING happened that Shaun and I would take care of her Daddy. She needed to hear it from Shaun so we went into the bedroom and she

cuddled in his arms and he told her the same things. He said he would always get along with her daddy because he knows how important it is that we all get

along. He told her that her daddy was a very special guy because he does so much for us. He lets us borrow his truck, he trusts Shaun with his kids, he fixes

stuff (but then it always breaks a week later) and I think Alyx finally felt better after hearing that we had her Daddy’s back.

Today, Marina and Kara got into it and Marina burst into tears.
I hugged her and tried to get to the bottom of it and come to find out, I think she’s missing her mom. It doesn’t matter if I do the best that I can, it comes

down to a daughter needing her mommy. I know Shaun does a great job making sure I don’t freak out so much. It’s great that my sister calls to make sure I

haven’t fallen off the face of the earth…but sometimes, it doesn’t matter if your 12 or 34, a girl just needs her mommy.

I’m thinking the fix-all for all of this comes down to a few things.

1. The version of my WordPress having SPELL CHECK.
2. Kiddy Xanax.
3. Mommy time.

It’s really that simple. I think the spell check might just fix EVERYTHING though.

If none of that works…I’m thinking WEDDING CAKE might do the trick.

Comments (39)  //  Add Comment
20
Jun
puppies.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


SPF:
1. Your Drinking Glasses.
2. Your Address book/Stationary (remember that stuff we used BEFORE email?)
3. SOMETHING NEW

The pool yesterday went well. I got a little bit o’ tan and my nose is sort of red.
I even played Marco/Polo with the girls. They laughed when it was my turn because they said I sound like the teacher from Ferris Bueller.

“Marco.”
*giggling*
“Marco.”
*laughter*
“Marco.”
“MOM STOP IT! YOUR MAKING US LAUGH!!”

The common conversation at the pool goes something like this:

“MOM LOOK AT ME. MOM LOOK! MOM WATCH THIS! MOM LOOK! MOM!!!!!!”
“Mom, Tell Shea to give me back my goggles.”
“MOM….SHE WON’T STOP SPLASHING ME!”
“Mom…mom…mom, why are you drinking wine out of that sippy cup?”

I keep punishing myself by going back.

California is HOTTER THAN HADES right now.

OMG. that totally reminds me of a dream I had last night!

I had a dream I had 4 Cocker Spaniel puppies. I had them for like EVER and they never got bigger than a kitten!! It was my dream come true. PUPPIES THAT

STAY PUPPIES! and they were so cute!

I’m sorry…Random and Odd sucks lately huh? I’ll be better after this wedding is over.

Comments (26)  //  Add Comment
19
Jun
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Thursday Night…now known as “Family Night” was spent at the drive in.
We had a rough start to Family Night as we were missing the oldest child who decided that Del Taco was better than sitting at the table with his family and

eating.
As we were packing up the truck to go, The Ex called and said he would be joining us.
Who am I to say no? I’m all about trying to make the ex’s happy.
We threw Kara’s bed in the back of the truck and grabbed a bunch of blankets. It was fun! It’s SO much more fun then the normal movie theaters! I always

think the same thing after I go to the drive ins to see a movie, “Why do I go to anything other than the drive in? THIS IS BITCHEN!”

Family Night #2 went very well.

I checked the calendar. We are now into the ‘teens’ before the wedding. like eighTEEN days before the wedding. I guess this means I should start that

treadmill and tanning thing I have been thinking about for the last 5 months.

I tried on the dress with the super bra. It still fits. It’s all wrinkled from being shoved in the hall closet for a few months, but my ever-so-awesome sister in law,

Terry, is going to fix that for me. She also made the flower baskets.
I ordered the flowers, food and cakes.

Holy hell. I’m getting married in 8-TEEN days.

I think now would be a good time to go see my mom and sister.

Comments (25)  //  Add Comment
18
Jun
Happy Father’s Day
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
To my Dad & Shaun’s Dad.

To My Grandpa who passed away many years ago, but still is the ‘father’ I wish every kid could have.

To my mom for all the days that she was ‘dad’ when my dad wasn’t there…and oh BOY are there a lot of days!

To Jerry, Barry and Micheal who were my brothers, but watched out for me like a father.

To all the dads that read my blog. I hope you have a great day.

For all the husbands of the women who read my blog. You guys are awesome.

For all the women who have been single moms. Happy Father’s Day!

Did I miss anyone?

Oh yeah, for all you dads out there that have been a dad to a child that you didn’t have the joy of making…HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! It’s the step dads that tend

to be ignored.

(us step parents get a bad rap thanks to the Wicked Step Mother in Snow White!)

Comments (13)  //  Add Comment
15
Jun
SPF!!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


My Puzzle



My puzzle is trying to figure out how to get them to STOP doing that dorky ‘MySpace Smile’. It’s driving me crazy!!
I was going to post a picture of my ass and then another of my wedding dress and see if you could figure it out!! lol.
My Best



For those of you that have been reading for awhile know what this means and you’re TOTALLY happy for me. If you don’t know, you’re going to have to dig

through my archives to find the post where I admit what a damn moron I am.
Yes, i’m done. It’s done.
Something OLD



I took this picture for my mom.
Okay, i’m off to the drive in to see “Cars”.

DID YOU PLAY??

Comments (62)  //  Add Comment
14
Jun
23 days, 14 hours and 22 minutes
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I spent the day with The Puzzle People. They hired me to come in and take pictures of their business for the ‘virtual tour’ part of their website.

Last year I was lucky enough to be able to go with Alyx and her class when they got the real tour and made their name puzzles. I took lots of pictures and this

year when Shea went for her tour I sent the CD with Shea to give to the owners. They called me and requested that I come out and take some shots.

When I got there I was reminded of the bond they have with each other. The love they have for each other is almost overwhelming.
While one of them was talking to me, the other gazed proudly at them while they spoke.

After I had got all the shots of the business I was invited to their home to get some shots of the shop they have there.
Their home is a reflection of what they feel for each other. Their home is a 2 room cabin on an acre of land that is covered with flowers and trees. They have a

stream that runs through the property. The cabin wasn’t spotless and huge, it was their ‘home’. It had a huge patio that looked out on their land. Every ‘ideal’

spot on their property had two chairs for them to rest in…together.

We walked around and I took pictures as we walked along. I don’t think they are expecting to get 600 pictures of them, their dogs, their grand children and

their home. I enjoyed their company though. I didn’t want to leave because what they gave me was a calmness in my soul that I haven’t had in a long time. I

wasn’t afraid for a single moment. I wanted to soak up all the goodness they have and take it home.

As I was leaving, Pat said, “I hope you have the perfect wedding!”

I said, “It will be perfect because I’m going to marry my best friend.”

SPF:

1. Your Puzzle

2. Your Best (Your best what? YOU DECIDE!!)

3. Something “Old” (the weeks following will have a part of the wedding theme; something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue)

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment
13
Jun
24 days 20 hours & 48 minutes….
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


So in 25 days I’m going to be…[choke]…getting married. again.

As you can see, i’m not the cutsie-wootsy blushing bride. I thought as It got closer I would get more excited. I thought as the months turned into ‘days’ that I

would get a little spring in my step and my heart would skip a beat at the thought of me in a off-white dress walking towards my groom.

I love Shaun with all my heart and I want nothing more than to be married to him, but I just don’t think i’m too old to be trying to do all of this wedding

planning stuff. Actually, it’s not the planning that is getting to me. The planning is done. What we have left is buying shoes for the little girls and paying for all

the stuff we ordered.

My friend, ‘Cita threw me a bridal shower and it was very nice. I had something happen right before it that sort of had me on edge. I feel bad. My mom and

sister were in town and I was all stressed out.
Shaun & Tyler came through at the last minute by going over and helping my friend ‘Cita decorate. They bought these beautiful white ballons…it was sweet. It

was when I walked into the house and saw them it reminded me of the reason I love him so very much. I can trust that he will always be there for me, my kids,

my family and my friends.

Now it’s time for me to start getting in the mood for a wedding. My wedding. I’m going to marry the man I love.

First thing on my list is to try on the dress and make sure it still fits.

[gulp] I’ll let you know tomorrow how that goes.

Next up…tell me about the best part of your wedding or a wedding you’ve been to.

Lastly…the next 24 days my blog will probably be all icky, cutsie-wootsy so I can get into the mindset of my wedding. Wedding. WEDDING. Dress. Flowers.

People other than me taking pictures of my fat ass & big arms. People everwhere…[hyperventilating]

okay, alrighty calm down. Let’s focus on what is important. Cake. Lots of wedding cake.

Comments (45)  //  Add Comment

29
Jun
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Shaun here….and no, you won’t have to deal with me after today. Turns out Ms.Random and Odd’s scorching case of Shaunarrhea is cured with about three

days rest and relaxation. Sorry we didn’t get to ‘Head’s Up 7-Up’, but our school district couldn’t afford the licensing deal. I’m sure everyone still enjoyed our

game of ‘Head up time, Lemon-Lime’. Shut up, neither game has caffeine.

OK, so for my entry to this week’s SPF:



Something with a story behind it

The guy’s name is Elford. I met him while I was taking pictures, and this very uinique yard caught my eye.. As I was snapping away, he came out to water his

lawn and to tell me his story. I’m guessing he gets visitors a lot.

Back in the 30′s, he lived with an aunt and uncle who wanted him to work in the family’s farm supply business. Elford, however, had a different dream: to play

baseball. Elford had received an invitation to play for the San Francisco Seals of the Pacific Coast League. His family wasn’t poor, but they weren’t in favor of

paying for the young Elford to play a game while avoiding becoming a businessman. So Elford ran away, and hopped trains all the way to San Francisco. He

saw more of the country on those few days than in his entire life. If it wasn’t for the baseball field waiting for him, he might not have ever left that train.

The Seals had recently changed ownership, and had no record of Elford when he arrived. He pleaded for a chance to pitch, and they let him throw against the

rookies. After some wild warm-up pitches, he struck out the first batter. The next batter hit a line drive off Elford’s throwing elbow. Elford hit the ground, and

his baseball career ended with one strikeout.

Elford never made it back to Missouri. He got a job in California working for Union Pacific, where he worked hard for the next few years. One day in the mail,

he received an envelope from the New York Yankees. Inside was glossy signed photograph with the notation: “To Elford, the only pitcher I couldn’t touch”….it

was from the rookie Elford struck out in his one appearance. The rookie had made a name for himself, and remembered the day when Elford’s dream ended.

Along with the photo was 500 shares of Union Pacific Railroad stock, which Elford saved and eventually used to buy the house in the photo above.

To remember the life the railroad gave him, Elford has collected a crossing signal from every train station that’s closed on the West Coast since the 60′s.

People come from miles around to see the signals and to talk baseball. And while he’s now very retired, once a year he sends a few shares of Union Pacific

stock to a minor league ballplayer who went down with an injury. He doesn’t sign the letter, just offers it the same way he was offered hope almost sixty years

ago by a young outfielder named Joe DiMaggio.



A Random and Odd Photo

When you reply to this post, lhave a story or caption for this!!


Something Borrowed

An empty bed. the empty house, I like. It’s quiet and doesn’t mess itself up after I’ve cleaned it. The empty bed sucks. I’ve shaped the pillows like Kristine to

try to get some sleep, just not the same. I’m giving this empty bed thing back!!!

Did you play?

(Oh, the first story is made up….just the house of some crazy old bastard who loves train stuff. I did say hi to him though)

Comments (66)  //  Add Comment
29
Jun
holy crap!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I tried to fix my site from my mom’s house, but this may be another all day adventure.

Just a quick note to tlet you know i’m all safe. The kids are not letting me leave, and by kids, I mean my mom and sister.
Even my dad is coming down today. My brother said he wanted to hang out too. There is a good chance i’m staying another night. Sorry Shaun.

I’ll have to fix the website when I get home…the paint fumes from mom’s new apartment are making me loopy.

Comments (9)  //  Add Comment
27
Jun
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Sorry everyone, you’re stuck with me (Shaun) running things this week. Kristine is off doing wedding prep stuff involving dresses and hair. But she’s filled me

in, so don’t think I’m like that substitute teacher you used to terrorize. Yes, I’m talking to YOU….don’t give me that ‘who me?’ look. So back to your

assignment for the week.

1. A picture of the front and back of your credit card. If you have more than one, lets just go with the one with the lowest balance.

No? Cheap bastards. Never mind, don’t do that one if you’re going to have an attitude. Weddings don’t pay for themselves you know. OK, how about these

instead:

1. Something with a story behind it. Photograph something that has a story behind it. And yes, you might have to actually write a little bit on this one. Good,

sad, funny, made-up….does it really matter? It IS the internet. Be creative.

2. A Random and Odd photo. Pick anything. A picture you’ve taken, one that you’ve found on the net. Doesn’t matter. I’m making the rules, so don’t tell me

what your usual blogger tells you to do! For this picture, the reader on your blog needs to write a story or caption for your picture, so get something unique.

3. In keeping with the recurring wedding theme, a photo of something borrowed. This is pretty self-explanatory.

Ms. Random and Odd should be back by Thursday, so you’ll have to put up with me until then. Now, everyone put their heads quietly on the keyboard until

the bell rings.

Comments (20)  //  Add Comment