Random And Odd: 2006: Jan

06
Jan
Well, we big rock singers, we got golden fingers, and we’re loved everywhere we go.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding

I am going to give props to people that stand in front of camera and do interviews. There is NO WAY I can do this again. I was a wreck! Shaun of course got the butter questions and then the camera got on me I got the hard ones.

I think I took “Deer in the headlights” look to a whole new level.

The interview went well. They fell in love with Alyx and when she mentioned she sold her blog frog picture on Ebay, the decided to interview her holding the picture. (The owner of the blogfrog picture hasn’t emailed me to tell me she’s back in town so I can send it to her)
She did better than I did. At least when they asked her questions she didn’t get that blank look on her face and start mumbling incoherently.

Shaun said he will Tivo the news and put it on a DVD for you all.

Today was a roller coaster day for me. Thank you for the supportive comments and emails. They will be stuffed in my coffin when I die of heart attack from all of this.

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06
Jan
113654930640500663
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

Welcome to the first Stuff Portrait Friday of 2006!

This week we went with ‘Before & After & New’

The Before Picture:

The After Picture:

Tyler spent many hours ‘helping’ his dad put this thing together
(Shaun don’t read this part — Tyler put this thing together nearly all by himself. It came out SO much better than the lopsided BBQ he made last summer)

The chair was a STEAL from Target (waving to all the obsessive Target readers out there) and I couldn’t be more happy with it. I thought it was going to be all cheap, but people think I got it from a furniture store. Target…who would have guessed?
The ‘dvd/cd/electronic hider’ was also a purchase from Target (God I love Shaun’s grandma and those gift cards!)

and last, but FAR from least: My new favorite thing.

Now…I’m going to have to explain this to you because there isn’t a picture for it, it’s a link.

Shaun and I are THRILLED beyond belief by the support you have shown my mom, my family and pretty much everyone you all come in contact with. My mom, she’s going to Hawaii. You guys have nearly got her there in two days. TWO DAYS! She hasn’t stopped crying yet.
I want to take a second to mention that a donation was made in a name today. Her name is Sarah Kaplan and she recently passed away. Sarah was very loved and loved to make people happy. I think that was so awesome to donate in someone’s name and Her name will be added to the “Thank You” list on the left side of my blog.

And on a completely different note, Bucky…I’m going to totally kiss you on the lips when I finally meet you. ’nuff said.

So, after that ramble I am going to tell you about something Shaun and I decided to do. We have talked about this many hours and we figured if someone can make 150,000 off a pixel on a website, or can make 800.00 on a pine needle… we could make some money on Ebay too.

We won’t ask you to bid, but we just ask you that if you are an ebayer, just put us on your ‘Watching’ list and if you have an down day on your blog and want to send a link to our auction, please do so. We have sent emails out to promotional places and some to tv and radio stations to get this seen.

I called my mom and I told her and to my shock, she thought it was a good idea. I told my best friend who I would have sworn would have disowned me and she thought it was a great idea. We know there will be some people that hate us for doing it, but it’s time to start selling some kids off and the weakest one has GOT TO GO.
JUST KIDDING! We’re going to keep the kids…in fact we are doing it for them.

All of our kids have been promised by their other parents to take them to Hawaii. I’m sure if the other parents could have done it, they would have. I have NO doubt about it. The truth of the matter is, they’ve never been and since we want to be their favorite parents, we are going to take them. JUST KIDDING…but no really…we want them to go with us. Besides, we are the favorite parents. I’m going to get my ass kicked huh?

ANYWAY, Dear Lord this is harder than telling my mother I was pregnant.

We are auctioning off parts of the wedding. There, I said it. Yes, we are auctioning off some of my vows, some of his, the best man’s toast & the wedding dance.

Go check it out…and add us to your ‘watching’ list.
Please, no hate mail. If you’re going to send me hate mail, send it with a batch of brownies or something.

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05
Jan
The West coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tanned
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: The Fonz, Wedding

I called The Fonz a little while ago to tell her that people are donating and soon we will have enough for the airfare to get her there. Not enough to get her home yet, but we all know she won’t want to leave anyway.

My mom burst into tears. I hate it when she does this because my mom is laugher. She laughs and it makes you laugh. When she cries…you cry.

Through her tears and blubbering words I heard this, “I don’t understand. I don’t understand how people you don’t even know would send me to Hawaii. These people, you don’t know what their faces look like, but they love you and they come to read you. I don’t know how this happens. Tell the bloggers that I love them.” Then more crying, gulping for air and blathering.

Bloggers (and some of you that don’t blog because they haven’t picked up their camera in awhile or fantastic Lurkers) My mom, The Fonz says: Thank you, I love you!

In the past year you have done so much. You have prayed away cancer, you have saved Penguins (I will explain that one later), you have made my mother cry with tears of joy. How did I get the coolest people on the internet reading my blog? I swear, I want to marry every single one of you and have your internet babies.

I want to give you something…like a friendship bracelet, a coke, flash you my boobs…SOMETHING.

Charlotte at Raggedy Hollow is donating her “Hope” doll for auction to get my mother to Hawaii. It got me to thinking about things I could auction off too…and I honestly don’t think my drawing of a frog would bring in as much as Alyx’s.

You’ve all seen my stuff, what would you bid on? *Crossing fingers, hoping they don’t say, “your John Deere sweatshirt

*no, the picture of me and RSG flashing our boobs at the bar is not up for sell…yet. Besides, Nilbo would outbid all of you on the first day!

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04
Jan
the bell hop’s tears keep flowin’ and the desk clerk’s dressed in black
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: The Fonz, Wedding

In Shingletown there where a few families that if you say their name, people remember them.

We were The Seguins. Some people would remember our name because of my brothers. Good looking, football players…trouble makers and heart breakers.
Kathy was beautiful and stubborn…and I was that cute little Seguin girl with big brown eyes and was always covered in dirt.

Another family name was the Iveys. Mike and Dean had 3 really handsome boys that hung out with my Mom’s 3 handsome boys. Not always a good combination, but it kept both families on their toes.

My mom and dad had great friends; Betty and Terry & Mike and Dean. Between the three families they kept Coors Beer Company in business through the 70′s.

I have YEARS of memories filled with these people. I have stockpiled sound bites in my head of my mother laughing, Betty Pullen singing and the sound of Elvis Presley coming from Dean’s house.
Dean had every single Elvis album, an original white scarf he gave her on her birthday and more Elvis nicknacks than any person should ever own. She would cry on the anniversary of his death and would celebrate his birthday.

A few weeks ago my sister blogged about Dean going into the hospital. I called Dean to tell her that I was glad she was going home and that she needed to hurry up and get better because I didn’t want my mom getting any ideas about thinking it was alright to be getting sick. Dean laughed and joked with me. Then I said goodbye.

Dean passed away yesterday. It’s sad, but it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared. She was the same age as my mother and even though my mom has spent the last 20 years avoiding booze, I realize she did a lot of damage to herself when she was drinking and taking pills.

Last night I was laying in bed and I was hit with a panic attack. It wasn’t the normal anxiety attack, I panicked! It felt like my body had a medal sheet through me and someone had shook it. My mother, at some point, will die. That thought alone makes me want to scream.

Years from now I don’t want to say, “I wish I would have gone here or done this” with my mom.
My mom has been to exactly 3 states in her life and only rode an airplane once. She has never seen the waters of the ocean from high above, smelled Plumera in the airport or walked along a beach with water so blue you felt if you didn’t cry, you were doing the place an injustice.

In the past month, Shaun and I decided that we couldn’t afford to get married in Hawaii.

At this point, I can’t afford NOT to. All the things that seemed important about getting married don’t seem so important anymore. I’m going to do what it takes to get my mom and sister on an airplane bound for the islands to watch me get married for the last time.

Then I am going to watch my mother smile, laugh and enjoy what she has always deserved, a real vacation.

I love you, Mom!

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03
Jan
i take one one one cause you left me
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends

Remember your first ‘real’ boyfriend? Remember when you two broke up? My friend, Chelsea, is going through that right now.
Chelsea belongs to my Beautiful Friend, Lisa…but she’s my ‘friend’ and not just my friend’s daughter. I’ve watched Chelsea go from a little girl to a beautiful young woman and from extreme happiness to tears. My heart is breaking for her.

My first heart break came from Ethan Thompson. I didn’t understand why he wanted to be my boyfriend and then would break up with me a week later.

I wouldn’t kiss him.

The truth of the matter is at 15 I had never been kissed by a boy. The thought of a guy leaning in for a kiss would make me so uncomfortable that I would turn 18 shades of red and my stomach would growl uncontrollably. I’m sure it’s those two factors that saved me from being a teenage parent.

Ethan was from San Diego and I was from Shingletown, to say 2 different worlds is like comparing Earth to Uranus (sorry, I just wanted a reason to say your anus) and I wasn’t a city girl at all. I get lost in a paper bag and on one way streets. He owned a skateboard and those crazy bangs. He smoked pot. He was way too cool for me.
Out of all the girls he picked me. It wasn’t out of the normal for me to become friends with the new kid. I guess I was easy to talk to and I didn’t try to shove my phone number in his locker between every class. I actually dated a lot of the cute guys in school…they just all broke up with me…because I wouldn’t kiss them.

Ethan broke up with me more times than I care to admit. He kept coming back though and I kept saying ‘okay’.
The break up that broke my heart was the one where I finally was told WHY I was being broke up with.
There’s something to hearing about your downfalls during a break up that make it worse.

Ethan said I was prude and an ‘ice princess’. Jeff said I would never amount to anything & would drive a pinto. Matt said he liked Carrie better. Falamoe….well, there’s a good chance that he was gay…and a good chance that might be my fault because I wouldn’t kiss him.

My heart was broken into a million pieces and I wrote every painful moment down. When I heard that Chelsea was hurting, I pulled down that diary and I read it again. I cried for the little Kristine and I cried for Chelsea. I know when my girls get their heart broken the first time I will cry again.

Chelsea still reads my blog even though I mention horrible things like breast hair and *wiggling eyebrows*, but this one time I will allow her to read it so she can read the comments that you’ll all leave her telling her that she’s going to be okay…and share a little of your first heartbreak.

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02
Jan
Stuff Portrait Friday – Before & After…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
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We have new readers to Random and Odd that have NO idea what SPF is or how it works.

So here is how SPF works:

You email me suggestions of three things you would like to see pictures of (by the way, i’m running out…send me more suggestions)

I pick 3 ideas from the list and on Mondays (sometimes Tuesday…or Wednesday) I will write a post telling you what the three pictures of the week will be.

With your handy dandy digital, you go take pictures of the three suggestions.

Thursday night or Friday morning you post the pictures on your blog and then come back here and say, “Wow, Kristine…I love your picture of fuzzy toe socks…and by the way…I PLAYED!” and then everyone can go check out your stuff. If everyone is nice, they leave you a comment.

It’s simple, but you guys just love it…so I keep doing it.

Jan 6th – SPF

1. Show me BEFORE

2. show me AFTER

3. Show me your new favorite thing

Now this can be a picture of anything from before, your hair..your before make up picture…your yard…your bedding…

of course, after is what It looked like after you did it.

and some of us got some cool stuff with our gift cards/presents or kick ass in-laws…so show me what your new favorite is!!

Any suggestions for the week of FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH!!??

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02
Jan
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Posted By: randomandodd // Category: photography

Most of you know that I use to work for a company that would send Mystery Shoppers out to businesses to make sure everything was run well, was clean and you got good customer service.
This job was awesome because I got to pay people for doing things they liked to do. For those of you that are thinking about doing it professionally and making hundreds of dollars, sit back down…you make hardly nothing, but you do get free things and good meals.

At the end of the day I would have piles of reports I had to go through. I loved to read the things that people had to say;
“I found a band-aid in my salad!”
“That was the cleanest bathroom I have ever been in!”
“Did you know that on the NJ Turnpike they have HEATED TOILET SEATS in the Sunoco bathrooms!!??”
“The customer service was rotten!”

When you read the last statement, it’s a red flag. That is the MAIN thing that a shopper watches for. How were you treated? was it in a timely manner? would you go back based on the customer service you received?

The day after Christmas, I cashed in all my gift cards and I ordered online the one thing I have been wanting since Auntie Patties birthday party. A flash. I had been reading up on it for awhile..trying to figure out if I should go with the 600 or the 800 and after talking to the Gods on Flickr, I decided I would go with the 600. The 600 has more of what I am wanting and it actually costs less.
I priced around and BuyDig.com had the cheapest price…

and the WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE!

Sometime after the purchase I was sposta get a tracking number. I didn’t get one, so I decided to call and check….make sure all was right with my new baby.

I was on hold for 10 minutes (9:57) when I finally got someone on the phone and I don’t know if she was Russian or Greek, but I had NOOOO idea what she was saying.
After three attemps I realized that Cooshtumer Noom-er is actually, “Customer Number” and when I tried to give it to her she said, “I no hear you.” and hung up.

Frustrated and mumbling, “Ohhh hell no she didn’t!” I called back. I was on hold for another 15 minutes before I decided to give up and just blog about it.

How can this be? How can in this day and age customer service suck so bad? Shaun went into Radio Shack the other day and got horrible customer service. HOW?
Do you see this? This is my foot going down, NO MORE BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE!

I bought my 50mm lens from Ritz Camera online. They have a 24/7 online customer service that I had to use when I gave the zip code to Guam during my order. They fixed the problem ON THE SPOT.
The flash should have been purchased from Ritz for doing me right the first purchase, but I was just trying to save a few bucks.

So the point of this ranting post…don’t buy camera stuff from buydig.com, the customer service sucks.

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01
Jan
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that’s cold…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: photography

Rock on, Internet…rock on.
Okay, I thought I had escaped the dreaded hang-over, but I had a delayed reaction until I ate. Suddenly the head was pounding…I could hear “whooop whoop whooop” as I sat there trying to read the paper.
I took a couple pills and climbed back into bed. The sound of Shaun typing on the computer sounded like a 300 lb tap dancer in the corner of my room. I managed to fall asleep. The benefits of getting some sleep didn’t out-weigh the nausea you feel when you wake up from the nap. No one told me that. Someone should have told me that.

Last month Shaun and I bought a Kodak digital camera for the video capabilities. When I gave the Fonz my old camera I didn’t realize that I would no longer have any way to video tape those special moments in the car when Shaun is singing “Jingle Bell Rock” in his Pee Wee Herman voice. This camera is much like the one I gave The Fonz, but a little bit bigger, less megapixels and it shoots out this crazy green light.

I was banished to the Kodak camera last night because I was drinking. Nothing says “New Years Regret” like dropping a thousand dollar camera. Shaun doesn’t drink so he got to play with BAMF all night.
I know how lucky I am to have the D70, but it’s not until I was using the Kodak (by the way, the Kodak’s name is Tim…because compared to the D70–he’s tiny) that I realized how spoiled I have become.

“What the hell is wrong with this thing? IT WON’T SHOOT!”
“Kristine, it just took a picture, you have to give it a second to take another one.”
“piece of crap. oh god, what the hell is this?”
“That is called the lens cap, Kristine. Put down the glass of wine if you’re going to take a picture like that.”
“Why can’t I see through the hole?”
“Because you have the viewfinder on the back, it’s just…God Kristine, here…take the D70.”

It was at that moment that I realized that I shouldn’t take the D70. I had already spilled merlot on ‘Cita’s carpet and later found out that SOMEHOW it got on the ceiling.

“No, it’s okay.” I looked down at the little camera and decided that much like my prom date in high school, he wasn’t very studly, he could probably do the trick for the night.
I then turned the camera back on, only to have it shut off mid picture.
“WHAT THE HELL? THE BATTERY DIED!?” The D70 shoots around 800 pictures before the battery dies.

and much like the end of my prom night, I realized…size does matter.

This drunken prom date wishes everyone a Happy New Year!

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01
Jan
*slurring*
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Happy…*hick* new year.

It was the best newest year ever. no really. happy new year. hope it was as *hicK* good as mine.

I can’f eel my findergers.

hee hee.

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15
Jan
113735648399171985
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

Friday was crazy for the Stone Baland household. We had 3 interviews to do and managed to snake out of 2 them. The Placer Herald came over and took pictures early in the afternoon so we had the rest of the night to enjoy some family time.

Dennis is home from Afghanistan and he brought his girlfriend from Alabama with him to California.
What an adorable thing she is. She’s like a mini-Pissy Britches!
On Friday we had The Cunninghams come out and have dinner. Yes, Shaun’s parents over for dinner! How domesticated are we?

After everyone had left, ‘Cita and I took Mini-Pissy out to the casino because she had never been to one. We all hung out at the .2 cent machines and could play for a long time on 10 bucks.
When we slinked in at 1 am, Dennis and Shaun were already asleep. I came in to check my email and 5 minutes later I get a tiny little knock at the door.
Elizabeth peeked her head in and showed me a brand new engagement ring!

I don’t know how long he waited there for her to come home before he fell asleep with the ring in hand. I’m going to be a horrible step mother in law huh?

The next day Shaun took Dennis to see “Hostel” and I took the kids to the mall. I don’t know which one is more scary and brutal.

Now I am off to see chronicles of Narnia with the kids, step kids, neighbor kids and ex-husband.

For those of you interested: The Sacramento Bee Article

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14
Jan
take a couple of minutes today….
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends
If you have some time today, Please take a few minutes to go to Kalki’s photo page.
Click Previous and view some of the pictures she has taken.
If I had a one big wish, I would wish that people like WOM and Kalki lived next to me so I could learn a few things.

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13
Jan
“give it to me baby…uh-huh”
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends
If you didn’t already know how cool Cat is… CLICK HERE to find out. This will totally make your Friday!

Do you realize that American Idol is right around the corner? and this means MULTIPLE visits to Cat’s blog until we pick our new AI.
It also means, Shaun and Cat banter back and forth.

This year I have a video camera so you will get to see him taunting Cat with his impressions of Cat’s favorite singers.

Some people like Christmas…I like this time of the Blogger Year!

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12
Jan
113713731640097130
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

Something you’re afraid of-
Lawn Gnomes. Definitely lawn gnomes. If I had an alleyway with Freddy Krueger on one side of me, and a garden with on of these bastards in it, I’m taking my chances with the knives. There is nothing good about these things.

Your lucky charm-
These little guys have been in every car I’ve owned. THere’s a peace sign earring that I got from my very first boyfriend. The turtle is part of a good luck charm the Fonz made for me. Little charms that keep me safe from red lights, the Highway Patrol, and driveways near lawn gnomes.

Something Friday the 13ish-
Awwwwww, if Shaun ever decided to be a serial killer in the movies, this would definitely be the cover. Creeeeeeeepy.

Can’t wait to see this week’s entries, should be an interesting collection!!! Did you play?

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12
Jan
113709211655030066
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: damn dogs!

I GET IT! I get the joy of teaching a dog a new trick!

When we got rid of the papasaun chair I kept the padding part. Last week I grabbed it out of the garage and layed it on the kitchen floor for Halo. She loved it.

Shaun came home and of course joked about it. “Nice Ritz cracker you got there Halo”

I taught Halo not to go in my room or the living room, the only two rooms with carpet. She does pretty good. She’s like a 12 year old little girl and does it behind my back when she thinks I’m not paying attention though. For the most part, she’s doing better than I expected.

Yesterday Shaun gave Halo a treat and out of habit she ran to her ‘Cracker’. I had pulled her cracker down the hallway in front of my bedroom so I could sit in my room and know she would be sitting there waiting for me to come out. She didn’t like the cracker down there, so after Shaun gave her the treat she tried pulling the cracker back into the kitchen.

Today I was filling out this interview thingy and Halo kept nudging my arm and then licking my feet. Nothing grosses me out worse than dog tounge….no, I take that back, I hate sour cream…that stuff gives me the heebie jeebies.
I took a second and I talked to the dog. I’m not a dog talker to-er, but she needed some dog conversation since Mooshu is a bitch and is too snooty to talk to her.

“What’s up dog?”
*cold nose to the foot*
“Ewwww, HALLLLOOO. Stop it. I hate it when you do that.”
*nudging of my hands with her wet nose*
“HALO…ew. Just talk to me, tell me what you want.”
“Well, Kristine I would really like for you to teach me how to catch a ball out of the air.”
I wasn’t too shocked that my dog could talk. I mean, she does stash lollipops. My dog is a friggin’ genius.

I sat there and explained to her the art of catching the ball while it’s still in the air.

TWO ATTEMPTS. That’s all it took. Two.

Now If I can teach her that jumping up on the damn counter is off limits, I would be a happy dog owner!

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11
Jan
113704041790902612
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding

I love Ebay, God knows I do…but they messed up our auction and it had to be relisted as one.
For those of you that had us on your watched list…please click HERE to re-add us to your watching list.
Unless you are rolling in money, own a casino or have a sugar daddy/mommy that will jump at your command…DO NOT bid on my auction…I love you…I do…but please, we just need the watchers so Ebay will feature it in the Pulse and the big companies can pick it up. Hopefully.
If not…I become Mrs. Baland at the courthouse in Auburn and I’m just as happy with that!For those of you that don’t believe in this, don’t go there…go somewhere where it isn’t. I’m okay with it.
The Sacramento Bee is calling my mother to interview her. The Fonz in black and white…you all ready for that?
She’s so excited. I think she has rehearsed what she is going to say for the last 12 hours.

My sister is kicking ass at kicking the smoking habit. Go tell her she’s doing good. She’s an attention whore and would love it if you did.
(I love being the obnoxious little sister)

Dennis is home from Afghanistan!! Flickr pictures are already uploaded, and more to come on Friday.

This post is brought to you by Hooters Restaurant. (sorry, just practicing!!) hee hee.

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10
Jan
113694040125307276
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

I let Kathy take pictures with the BAMF – Proof that I am a better sister than she is.

I’m surprised I could sleep last night. I guess the cost of the Tylenol PM is well worth it. When I woke up I thanked the dream Gods for letting me not have nightmares about something horrible.
Normally when something huge is going on in my life, I have REALLY bad nightmares. This last week has been a big, emotional week for me. I was due.

On the way home from Redding, I started thinking about the people I hadn’t talked to in a long time and I scrolled through my phone list to make some calls. I called my friend, Bob. He’s a DJ in Redding and the last I heard wasn’t doing so good. I called AOM to thank her for all the work she did for me on the Ebay Auction. I also called my friend Ruka. I’ve known Ruka since 6th grade and we’ve always had this rollercoaster friendship. In the past few years we are on a good ride and I think we’ll be fine from here on out.
Ruka just had a baby and I swore to her that if she didn’t bring that baby by so I could get some shots of him for her I was going to have to tell the internet about the time we stole her mother’s car and drove it to Chico and snuck in a bar.
Little does she know, I can’t tell that story to the internet because I haven’t told my mother that story yet. *Slapping hand over mouth* Oh, well, looks like I just did. Good thing Ruka brought her son over to see Auntie Kristine.

There is something about a 3 month old baby that just makes me happy. Is it the baby powder smells? is it the cute noises they make? Is it the radical arm movements that make them look like they are going to take flight? I don’t know, but I got me some baby lovin’ today.
202 pictures later, she finally packed up her baby that will forever be seeing the blinding flash of the D70.

I’m not sure if i’m tired out from holding, feeding, burping and lovin’ on the baby or I’m still recovering from the funeral, but i’m tired. REALLY tired.

Tonight a reporter from the Sacramento Bee is coming out to interview us. There will be no recording cameras so I think I might survive it.
We have another radio interview to do on Friday morning for a radio station. There is NO way I can drink that much coffee to insure that I will be awake enough to understand the DJ at 7am. If you happen to catch that one, I want to apologize now.

Something I have been thinking about since this whole thing started; The importance of your mother’s approval.
You know, there really isn’t anything that anyone can say that matters about the choices people make…as long as your mother has your back.
My mom is totally behind us 100% and it’s not because I’ve always made the right choices. You, my readers, the internet she knows, have shown her something about trust and human kindness. I thank you for that. I also thank my mother for ALWAYS standing behind me through anything I do….I mean…the stuff you know about…

…you probably wouldn’t have stood behind me when Ruka and I stole her mother’s car and got pulled over on the way home and ALMOST thrown in jail for being out past curfew with expired tags. Yeah, you would have probably kicked my ass.

1. Something you’re afraid of.
2. Your Lucky Charm.
3. Something Friday the 13th ish (get creative)

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09
Jan
I can only imagine
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends, Random

The funeral I had this week went well.
For those of you that are keeping score;
After the Ebay Auction & Alyx’s birthday, I had to drive to Redding for Dean’s funeral.

I thought I would do better than I did at the funeral. It’s been a long time since I had seen Dean and as much as she was a huge part of my life growing up, I had moved away and lost contact and only got updates when something happened with the Ivey family.

When we walked in there were several photos of her. I couldn’t spend more than a second looking at them because I could feel that tightening in my throat. She was all smiles in her pictures and I had forgotten how when she smiled her eyes got squinty and cute.

Her middle son, Duane, spoke and the tears he was holding back made me want to cry for him so he wouldn’t have to. He told about the moment Dean left this world and how he saw the freckles on her nose just appear. He said the lines in her face just softened…and she was at peace.

When her oldest son, Billy came up to speak the tears and sadness made him pause. His vulnerability caught me off guard. Billy was the strong one in the family, he was their rock…right? When his words finally made it out, the raw emotion tore at me. I had to grab our family rock’s hand. My sister looked at me when I clutched her and I knew at that moment that even though Kathy is strong, this was getting to her too.

The three boys stood in front of her coffin as everyone said their goodbyes. I thought of turning around and waiting in the back for them to come out, but my mom headed to say her goodbye to Dean and I wanted to be strong for my mom. I followed her, but vowed not to look.

A few years ago, my brother’s friend, Timmy died in a car accident. Timmy, Michael (my brother) and Jason (Dean’s youngest) were best friends growing up and even though each of them went in different directions as they got older, there friendship was something that time and distance couldn’t take away.
I hadn’t seen Jason in many years and when I did, he was standing there looking at Tim’s smiling picture, my heart broke for him. He had lost his childhood friend. My brother was strong and probably wouldn’t cry in front of the crowd of people saying their last goodbyes, but Jason wasn’t ashamed and was crying like a little boy. When he saw me standing there wanting nothing more than to hug him and make him stop crying, he came at me with two hugging arms and buried his face in my shoulder and cried.
I felt horrible. His sobs were accompanied by a gagging cough. He pulled away from me with wide eyes and started laughing.
“I just inhaled and choked on your hair!” We both started laughing and the tears stopped for awhile.

Today he had that boy-like look about him as he cried and hugged people saying good bye to his mother. My eyes locked with his and his head cocked to the side a little bit and his eyebrows rose as he tried not to cry any harder. He didn’t stop staring at me until I got over to him. He pulled me into hug me and I stopped him.

“Hold on Jason, let me pull my hair back so you don’t choke on it.”

He smiled…and then he laughed when he remembered. He pushed my hair aside and hugged me and giggled again. For a brief moment, during that day, that bitter sweet day, he laughed.

I was wrong about my brother though. He did cry. There is something heart shattering about seeing a grown man cry. I never wanted to see it again because the squeezing of my heart would never be able withstand that pain. Today I watched three grown men stand in front of their mother’s coffin and cry. For a second I realized that those could be my brothers someday and the wave of emotion finally hit me. I walked up behind my mother who always seemed so tall and strong and hugged her. She felt smaller than before. She felt fragile in my arms.
“Mommy, I don’t want you to die. I don’t want to see you like that.” I had broken my vow not to look into the coffin. “promise me.”
I knew she couldn’t though, and my heart shattered in my chest for the hundred time in an hour.
I promised that I wouldn’t start crying until I got home and locked the bedroom door to write this post. The tears haven’t stopped yet.

On the way back to my mom’s house we heard a song by MercyMe. The song is called, “I Can Only Imagine”.
During the funeral everyone that took a moment to speak about Dean mentioned how she sang all the time. She sang Elvis songs every single day of her life. She danced too. Her and my mother would dance in her living room to Jailhouse Rock. Dean would end the song with, “Thank you…Thank you very much.”
In the song by MercyMe the lead singer is talking about what it will be like when he goes to Heaven and sees Jesus;

Surrounded by Your glory,
what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus
or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
Dean……she’ll dance.
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08
Jan
And the days go by like a strand in the wind in the web that is my own
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: alyx

Every year on Alyx’s birthday cake I write, Happy 5th Birthday. I then have to put the real age on there. She came to me this year and asked that I remember that this was her NINTH birthday and not her FIFTH.

When Alyx was little I told her that she couldn’t get any bigger and she promised me that if I let her turn 5 that she wouldn’t get any older or bigger.
I let her turn five and try as she might, that little girl keeps getting bigger. She’s still the smallest girl in her class and she hasn’t moved into size 1 shoes yet. She’s trying.

When Kara turned 9 I didn’t have any other child to reference the growth to. When I was talking to the anchor woman about Alyx I said, “She turns 9 tomorrow.” it wasn’t until I heard the woman say it on the news that it hit me. When Kara was 9 she was totally different than Alyx. The two girls are totally different in so many ways. Kara was more grown up. Alyx is more mature.
Is it because I have more older kids in my house that it seems like Alyx is so much younger than Kara was?
When Kara was nine I was thinking about going to a looney bin to cope. Kara challenged me every single day to be a stronger parent. I remember standing in the middle of the room jumping up and down screaming at a 9 year old and she stood across from me doing the same thing. If you had put boxing gloves on both of us, i’m sure she would have come out victorious.

Alyx has never questioned my authority. She has never argued to get her point across. I don’t think she has ever even raised her voice at me. Because of this…I gave her the birthday party she always wanted.

She got to invite all the girls from her class to the rollerskating rink. It was hot, it was muggy and it smelled funky, but she was so happy. All of the girls showed up and brought her neat toys.

I want to take a second in the middle of this post to say thank you to my friend ‘Cita and my Beautiful friend Lisa. The other day I called them in a panic, “NEWS COMING. HELP!” They both showed up within 5 minutes and helped make sure the house was spotless before they got here. The crock pot is still in the stove and I can’t find vacuum cleaner, but the place looked great.
They are always there to help me when I need them. I can’t remember a time I haven’t called them in tears and they got me laughing again.
The birthday party was no different. ‘Cita, along with all the other adults, helped make sure the kids had a great time.

When we got home we raced for the latest video game that has us bonding. Guitar Hero. If you have PlayStation 2 you have to get this game. I have mastered, “I love Rock and Roll” and “I wanna be sedated”. I’m still on the easy level though. It’s like that dance revolution game and Simon all in one.

Alyx had a bunch of friends over playing baby dolls and Bratz.
Looking at her holding the little baby, she almost looked 5 years old again.

I think I should have gotten that agreement where she promised not to grow up, in writing.

P.S. ‘Cita, don’t forget you’re picking up Alyx and Shea so I can go to the funeral.

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06
Jan
113661800243149897
Posted By: Random and Odd // Category: Random
Share Video at DropShots.com

I look like a dork, they spelled Shaun’s last name wrong, but outside of that I think it went well. They editted out the blank look in my eyes.

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22
Jan
#7
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
A couple of years ago during the NFL draft, I met my ‘boyfriend’.

Last year, my boyfriend should have gone to the Superbowl…but those little pricks stole it away from him.

NOT THIS YEAR BABY!! MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!

If the SeaChickens go to the superbowl with them, we are having one HELL OF A PARTY at my house!

BYOB…and I will supply all the cursing & HD TV!!

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22
Jan
113796012437497907
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

In the past week, five people from my past have contacted me in one way or another.

I have certain people I have ‘put away’, some people that have just ‘lost contact’ with and other people that I can’t emotionally deal with…so I pretend they died or moved to Utah. Same thing.

The first was a girl I went to grade school with and to sound more mature than I am…we didn’t always agree on things.
Who am I kidding? She didn’t like me. I always wanted to hang out with her, but she was mean. She invited all my friends to her birthday party this one year, and I was surprised she gave me invitation too. About 3 hours later, she came up to me and said she changed her mind. Then the night of her party, all my friends were over at her house for the best slumber party ever…she called me and asked me why I didn’t come! I told her what she said about changing her mind and SHE LAUGHED.
That was only the tip of the iceberg of mean and I realize that if I wrote about all the mean things in this post, you would be reading well into Wednesday.

She sent me this very nice email. I wrote her back and I didn’t mention the things she did to me and how much her words hurt me as a little girl.
I called Ruka, who also went to school with her, and we came up with worst case scenarios on what happened after high school. Of course I wouldn’t wish that she weights 2 tons, has lost all of her teeth and breaks out in a red rash whenever someone uses the word, ‘cheerleader’ in a sentence. I actually hope the best for her and I hope that she does remember and feels sort of bad for the person she was and makes a difference in the lives of her children.

The other person that contacted me is someone I have mixed feelings about. She hurt me every time I came in contact with her. She slips into my life and just turns up the heat and then disappears. It’s the most toxic friendship I ever had.
I did something morally wrong when I was friends with this person and that action changed my life forever.

I had time to sit back last night and think about these two people that in one way or another contacted me and where I need to put them in my life.

The toxic relationship needs to be left alone. When I was morally bankrupt and did the things I did, I met someone. This someone changed me for the better. If this someone could speak he would say,
“Are you happy?”
and I would say yes.
and he would say, “Then don’t talk to her.”

During the rebuilding of ‘self’ with this person, he taught me how to trust again. He taught me how to ask for help. He taught me that even though people sometimes do something really wrong, you need to look at the core of who they are…and don’t judge them. He taught me that I am strong in some aspects of my life and I am weak in the others. He taught me that I need to let other people take some of the load. It’s because of this person that I can be with Shaun in a healthy relationship and trust him to help me, be strong where I am weak…and not to judge him.

The first girl is going to benefit from the things I learned from the second.
I forgive the little girl from grade school.
I emailed her and told her where I was living and what I was doing.

She said she now lives in a small ski resort town…Doesn’t that sound like Utah?

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19
Jan
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Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

This Week: WAKE UP!

My Lotions:

Okay, don’t be saying, “If she can afford TWO bottles of Tutti Dolci lotion, she can afford…”
It was marked down to $4.50 and then 50% off that! Bath and Body Works is blowing some stuff out, if you have one near you…GO.

My Towels:

You didn’t think my towels actually matched, did you?

The Toothbrush:

It’s time for a new one.

Did you play??

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19
Jan
if you ever wondered why I am marrying him….
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Shaun
Share Video at DropShots.com

If you don’t watch American Idol, you’re going to miss out on all the fun this season.

Here, this should catch you up on how the first 2 episodes went.

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19
Jan
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

If at any point you thought for a moment that I was organized or ‘had it all together’, this post should pretty much clear it up for you.

Between two computers, I have scattered phone numbers and addresses. In order for me to locate someone, I have to stop for a moment and try to remember what part of my life they existed in.
“Okay, did I talk to them pre-computer-in-bedroom days or not?”

Between these two computers I have about 17,000 folders of pictures. Again, in order to locate on of them I have to check THREE different places. Computer in bedroom, computer in kitchen or the back up drive. Don’t think the ‘back up drive’ is me being responsible, It’s only there because I’ve crashed more computers than Evil Knievel crashed motorcycles.

Kimmy sent me a letter inviting me to participate in the dish towel exchange. I had no idea such an exchange existed and was honestly surprised she invited me. She’s friends with Shelli and it took Shelli about 8 months to get the toe socks I promised her. I’m really bad at things like this. I came to the conclusion that Sissy must be crazy to invite me to play so I will send her dish towels with crazy women on them.
I was in Target yesterday looking for new ways to organize myself and I saw a whole row of dish towels.
“Wow…look at all those dish towels.” I could feel a spark in the back of my brain. “Dish Towels.” I felt like the announcer for Sesame Street trying to teach a 3 year old how to pronounce certain letters and sounds. “Dish. Towels.” Nope, nothing. Moving right along to the shiny pots and pans.

When I got home I was dragging in my 50 gallon plastic bin, when I noticed the letter on my catch all.
“DAMN IT! DISH TOWELS!”

I don’t have anything together. I am thee most unorganized person that ever lived. I try though. I put things RIGHT in my path so I don’t forget them.
On the way to the bedroom I found 3 things I swore I was going to blog about.
1. The Hope doll.
2. My John Deere hat with a wedding veil
and…I forgot what the third one was.
Oh wait, yes…I remember.
3. My wedding planners. That’s you, by the way.

Starting next Wednesday, i’m going to give you things to decide on for the wedding. I can’t do all this alone and I know you all want to help me out.
I finally went and bought one of those Brides magazines. *shaking head* I can buy a Playgirl without being as embarrassed as I was buying that Bride book.
Did you know there is about 36 Kazbatrillon ways to write out an invitation?

Realizing that it’s Thursday and instead of waiting until 11 pm tonight to remember that I need to take pictures of the stuff for SPF, I decided that today will be the day that I take the pictures, write out the post and put it in my ‘drafts’ part of Blogger.

While in there I found 4 posts I forgot to post.

I think I need to change my mantra from “hope” to “remember”.

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18
Jan
I’m okay, you’re okay…wait, i’ve used that title before.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

Holy crap, it’s like Wednesday huh? Having Dennis and Mini-Pissy here for a week kinda threw me off. I realized something this week…I’m so damn happy i’m not 21 anymore.

Your Stuff Portrait Friday assignment this week: Wake up!

1. Your lotions
2. Your towels
3. Your toothbrush

It’s an easy one this week.

I gots some stuff to write about, but right now I have to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and debate the correct spelling of Alyx’s nickname.

She says, “Ally” and I say, “Aly”

We go ’round and ’round about this and I blame no one but Gwen Stephani!

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17
Jan
Have you ever…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends
Have you ever wrote a post and then something happens and you’re like, “Doh!” cause you have some stuff to write about now…but then you think about it and it’s probably a good thing you already posted to your blog for the day because if you wrote about what happened you’d probably get your ass into deep shit with everyone you know because you went off and should have just…not?

yeah. sometimes i think i need a private blog. wait…i do…somewhere.

I need a program that remembers all the crap I sign for and keeps the user name and password.
I would call that my Tyler program!

and CHECK THIS OUT! Strizzay (The Fat Housewife) landed her daughter on a Jones bottle label! Go give her some LOVE!

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17
Jan
113752409508439847
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

You know what I wish we had? I wish I could find a way to have my daughter Marina’s brain made into a special blogger program.

I could type in: “Who haven’t I read in awhile?” and this program that runs on nothing but Sprite and cheese sticks could say, “According to our data, you haven’t read George! in awhile.” and I would then type in, “Catch me up on what he’s doing…” and this program that believes that life revolves around knowing what everyone is doing at all times, who they are dating, who they like, where everyone sits in homeroom, how to text message at lighting speed and has every single phone number of every 12 year old in school would spit out, “He’s been doing this…and OMG, last week you’ll never believe what happened to him!”

I need this program, because I suck at reading blogs and keeping up with everyone. I want to be able to sit down and say, “Alright, I have 2 hours…let’s catch up with everyone.” It doesn’t work that way though.
It takes 2 hours just to read through the posts I have missed from ONE person. It’s NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE. I feel like a blog reading failure most of the time.

I also wish I had a program that runs like my friend Chelsea. This program would run all the time and would be able to leave messages for EVERYONE she’s ever known. It would have important things to say too. This program would be the best comment leaver.

This is my way of saying that I suck…and I wish we had a little spot on our blogs that had a ‘catch up’ spot. A spot where I could go read it and it took like 2 minutes and then I could read the days post without being totally lost.
Since we don’t have those, could ya’all (dear god, mini-pissy is wearing on me!) just forgive me when I leave the lamest comments on your blog? can you forgive me for just being a lurker because I don’t want to leave a comment that shows that I haven’t caught up on your blog and I had no idea you had a baby or buried your husband in the backyard?

I want to be a good blog reader and commenter…but you haven’t seen this huge pile of laundry in my bedroom…and dear Lord, do I need to bleach the hell out of my kitchen!
The next couple of weeks I might need to fall off the face of the earth in order to catch up with the stuff I have been slacking on.

I did get the crock pot out of the oven though ;)

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16
Jan
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

“I hope you are able to ace the distinction I am trying to point out. In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law, as would the rabid segregationist. That would lead to anarchy. One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty. I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.”
I have read “A Letter From Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King Jr. more times than most people would ever admit to.
The first time I read it, I was a little girl. I didn’t quite understand it, but I knew the word ‘oppression’ ‘freedom’ and ‘hope’ must have been pretty serious for someone to write that long of a letter.

The next time I read it I was in college and I was studying the great speakers of the world. This time when I read those same words I understood them, but on a different level. My oppression, freedom and hope for my life. What did I need to do to be able to free myself from a bad situation? How did I want my voice to be heard when I finally decided to speak?

I began to studying black history in depth. I started out just trying to figure out why Martin Luther King had wrote that letter. As I dug deeper, I went back further. I rented movies about the little girls that will killed in the church bombing. I cried A LOT.

Through everything that I read, I kept coming back to the letter he wrote from Jail. He sounded so familiar, speaking with conviction of the heart. I was trying to remember where I had read something that moved me as much as his letter did.
I finally remembered what it was.
The Declaration of Independence. Freedom is something that people have been fighting for. Using everything from fists to bombs.
Martin Luther King Jr. taught us to use our words…and to use them right.

Whenever I am angry about something said to me, or in more cases than not, emailed me…I slow down a second and try to write something that I would want in return, even if I didn’t deserve that respect.

Respect. Freedom. Hope.

I wish that for everyone. Even the Anonymous people that write horrible emails and leave nasty comments to me and the people I care about.

I know it’s hard not to stand up for someone that is being attacked verbally in this forum. I know it’s hard for me not to get angry as well…but just slow down for a second and use your words in a way that later when you go back and read what you said in the heat of anger, you’re not going to have any regrets, to be proud for the words for you wrote and the effect that it had on the people around you.
This is one of the million things I have learned from reading MLK Jr.

” We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.”

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15
Jan
113739548897725051
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

I put some Broadway nails on tonight. I glued all of my fingers together. I had to gnaw myself free and then I got glue ON.MY.TEETH.

Shaun and Tyler wanted me to watch ” 24 ” with them tonight and I have found the only way to get me to stick to the couch and watch the whole thing is to glue myself down. If I have something to do while watching TV, i’m more prone to watch the show.
24 is a great show. I watched it a couple seasons ago and I really liked it, but I don’t want to commit to yet another television show. The people who wrote ” 24 ” know how to get people to watch though. Bastards.

After the show I realized I had a memory card full of potentially cool shots from mini-golf tonight. When I sat down to download I ran my fingers through my hair and I guess I had some undried glue under my nails. I now have a bald spot and hairy fingernails.

Martin Luther King day is tomorrow. To me, this is one hell of an important day. If you write about him, please comment so I don’t miss what you have to say.
Dennis and Mini-Pissy are going to be here, but I want to take some time to write about his words and what they mean to me…I hope to God my thumb isn’t still glued to my pinky by then!

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29
Jan
Your mom busted in and said, “What’s that noise?”
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends

Did you know that Hummers have ass warmers? I didn’t. I spent the 2 hour drive home with a nice and toasty rear.

I figured since Ruka was bringing her baby, I should bring mine. Mine of course is almost 13 and I didn’t factor in the stories that would be circling the room.

“Did you ever tell Kara about the time when we…” One of them would start.
“EARMUFFS KARA! EARMUFFS!”

It was too late, my daughter is now enlightened to all my evil ways. There is no turning back after her hearing the story about ‘that one time in high school.’.

I guess now that she knows about ‘that one time’, I can share the conversation that Shaun and I had the other day on the way home.

“See that trailer park right there, Shaun!? I lived there in a tiny travel trailer when I first moved to Sacramento. I didn’t know that this is where the hookers hung out!”

He then told me a nice little story about the time a hooker came up to his car and scared the bejeezus out of him when he was 19.
I of course, had a similar story…

“I remember when I first moved down here and I was driving home from a Dungeons and Dragon’s meeting STONED OUT OF MY MIND and a hooker came up to my car and scared the shit out of me…”

I didn’t finish the story because Shaun was laughing too hard.

“Yeah, that one beats mine honey, you win.”

My daughter found out the wonderful details of my crazy childhood. From dating the shortest guy in school to the party in 8th grade where Bryce was out in the snow looking for the box of wine coolers.

When we got home I said, “Kara, you have to understand…that was a totally different time.”

She asked, “Where was grandma during all of this?”

“We slipped sleeping pills in her buttermilk.”

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29
Jan
113855582691638839
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Dashababy, friends, Random

It’s Sunday and I am getting in a car and heading to Chico to visit a friend from 8th grade.
Pictures to follow.

It’s also what I call ‘Susie Sunday’. You don’t have to do anything, you just go and read the little phrase, quote, scripture…over at Susies. I love Sundays because sometimes she mentions ‘hope’, but she also just makes you feel like you stopped by and had a cup of coffee.

Today is an important day in my sister’s life.
In the Seguin family, we have been through a lot. With 5 kids, i’m sure you could have enough stories about our childhood to make you cry, laugh and shake your head in disbelief for several years.
We all have our stories of our childhood. The struggles we went through and how we walked out of those completely screwed up or the strongest person in the world.

My sister fought for personal freedom. When you read her blog…it’s just the tippity top of the surface of who she really is. If you really knew her, you would love her more than you have loved anyone you have never met. She inspires you, she makes you laugh, she lifts you up and she will drop your ass if you get mean. She is the most real person I know, hands down, ever.

She is also REALLY DAMN HOT for someone who’s almost FIFTY!

*i love being the obnoxious little sister*

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28
Jan
113846378584747218
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

Someone…I’m not saying names…SOMEONE in this house, that uses my computer, that is sleeping like a sweet snoring angel in the bed next to my computer, NO NAMES…deleted my “Spotlight” folder.

It’s alright, i’m pretty certain that he didn’t MEAN to do it.

You know what this means right? If you sent me an email saying, “Spotlight this person.” or you were targeted to be spotlight, was nice enough to fill out the questions and emailed it to me where SOMEONE in this house deleted it…please resend it.

JT SNOW & SARAH’S SISTERS: please resend me the emails we had going. I really would like to spotlight them, and what you all wrote about the people you love was touching and there is NO way I could recreate those words.

and now I am off to call my sick sister and drain my cell phone battery.

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26
Jan
113834643868327698
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

Why does everything monumental happen on Thursday? Allowing me exactly 4 minutes to upload my last minute pictures?

My trip to SF today wasn’t one we had expected making. During the second or third round of dress ravishing at David’s Bridal last night, ‘Cita got a phone call letting her know her dad was in the hospital. It was a last minute trip where I was just along to read the map and make jokes at the stupid drivers. It turned out to be much more. My role as ‘co-pilot’ was taken up a notch.
It was an emotionally draining day that ends with me wanting to call my dad and tell him that I love him so very much and just hold him until I fall asleep.

First Up *wiping away tears* My Secret:

Since my sister can admit to having a life long crush on David Cassidy then I can admit my little secret…I have NEVER bought my own bra. I have NO idea what size cup or how ‘around’ I am.
My mom has always bought me my bras. Training, Nursing and Victoria’s Secret…she has bought them all. Yes internet, i’m 33 years old and I have never walked into a store and bought myself a bra. Ever.
During the spell check of this, Shaun nicely pointed out, “That’s weird. You’ve bought as many bras as I have.”

My Toys:

Didn’t see this one coming huh? Yeah…well, according to my stat counter; my mother, my sister, Tyler’s girlfriend’s Mom & possibly the pastor at the Baptist church I use to attend when I was little…read this blog. You’ll have to pretend that I’m ballsy enough to post stuff like that.
Sorry Metro.

My Eyes:

Shaun took this one and he’s quite proud of it. (please…no comments about how artistic this picture is because if I have to see Shaun strut around this house all proud of himself and barely able to fit his big noggin through the door frames I will just barf.)

Okay…you know the drill…

DID YOU PLAY?

*crossing fingers, hoping we get a hundred this week!*

*i love shaun and if you do too…just tell him how talented he is…he’s a Leo and loves the attention.

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26
Jan
Post It Note:
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I’m on a long trip with a friend today. Send good vibes, prayers, strength and driving fairies.

I have more pictures of little girls in dresses at my Flickr site if you get bored…leave a comment.

Don’t forget tomorrow is Friday… Your Toys, Your Secrets and Your Eyes is what’s on your homework list.

But head on over to the BLOGGERS SPOTLIGHT to see who we showcased today!

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25
Jan
Here Comes The Flower Girl…..
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding

You all modivated me to go out and have the girls try on some dresses.

Thanks Everyone…we didn’t buy any, but tried on EVERY SINGLE DRESS in the store.

I’m pretty sure the sales lady lost chunks of hair and is now at home drinking Jack Daniels straight from the bottle!

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25
Jan
My Big Fat Geek Wedding…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding

In my unplanned wedding, I already know who the brides maid, maid of honor and flower girls are.

My four girls.

In every single wedding book I have, it has beautiful dresses for the brides maids, and they would lovely on my daughters IF they had a C cup and legs for days. Neither one do, but they don’t want attention drawn to that fact either.
The only other dresses in these magazine’s are for flower girls. Those dresses are cute for my two little flower girls. Alyx and Shea. “Cute” isn’t exactly the look the two older ones are going for.

I need to find a dress that will make a two 13 year olds look respectful, beautiful & not like they are going to hop on a Harley after the ceremony and head off with guys named Billy and Chuck.

When I go online looking for brides maids dresses I get lost in the sea of satin and chiffon.

Mission One of Plan my wedding is to find some links with decent brides maid type of dresses.

Today, to avoid anxiety attacks and passing out in my own drool, I am going to go see a doctor.

Thanks everyone…and good luck not getting attacked by the lace on your mission!

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24
Jan
Friday Jan. 27th – Shake it off…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

Jan. 27th

Your Toys
Your Secret
Your Eyes

I’m full of anxiety today.
At night I take medicine to help me sleep. Without the medicine I will stay up for hours watching tv, fighting the chest crushing stress that seems to linger around late at night.
I thought that if I got a few good nights sleep that the stress during the day would dwindle. It seems to have caught on to my plan and decided that today it was going to slip inside and sqeeze me until my teeth hurt and my legs ache.

Your Toys: Many of you have kids and I remember when my girls were little, my favorite game to play with them was Memory. As they got older I enjoyed playing Barbie with them. Now they are into baby dolls and roller skating. I have found my own toys to play with now. (Metro…get your damn head out the gutter!)
If you don’t have toys…show me what you play with. Sewing? Scrapbooking? Painting? Pictures? Excersise? Memory Cards?

Your Secret: Come on…you’re hiding something. Show us! (hint: if you take a picture real close up, we might not be able to figure it out)

Your Eyes: They are the window to the soul. Let me see your peepers.

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24
Jan
i got a new toy I want to share!!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends, Random
Someone asked me if I knew how many readers I have.
I said, “A few.”
Someone said, “According to your stat counter, how many do you have?”
I said, “More than a few.”

I’m a big old wussy when it comes to knowing how many readers I have. I would never be able to have the little ticker on the bottom of my site telling me how many people have come here. I like to pretend that Random and Odd is just a hole in the wall bar on the corner that only a few people know about.

The best thing I like about Random and Odd is that I get you guys on Fridays. On Fridays you guys not only put yourself out there, you go and comment on other people’s blogs. People that sometimes don’t get very many comments…and you make people happy. I love you guys all week, but I’m so happy on Fridays when I go to some new blog we’ve never heard of…and there you are, commenting away and saying, “Thanks for playing…welcome to the group.” You guys just bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for being such an awesome group of people.

SO, yesterday while Shaun was throwing up and the older girls stayed home complaining of aches and pains…I made a new website. It’s a ‘spotlighting bloggers’ website. I’m going to try to upload new bloggers profiles so you can all get to know someone new, catch up with someone you lost contact with or just leave a comment for the featured blogger.
Also..if you own your own business and you want some advertising…send me the webpage and I will throw it up on the sponsors area. (nothing that blinks though…I will seriously have an anxiety attack at the blinking blinky things)

I also want an ‘in memory of’ portion of the blog for people we have lost. If you have a link to your blog that highlights someone’s life, please send it my way.
If someone knows where I can get the post or blog of Sarah Kaplan, please send it my way too. I would really like that on the spotlight blog.

And your part…if you want someone’s blog spotlighted, send me their email address so I can send them the questions.

and now…I give you….. Spotlighting Bloggers ……..

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23
Jan
When you’re weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: My Brats, The Fonz

Do we really want the people around us to be happy? Is it possible to let them do these things without judging them?

In the never ending attempt at organizing myself, I keep finding old journals of mine. This time, it was one from high school.

“Why does my mother say that all she wants is for me to be happy and then when I do the things that make me happy, she gets mad at me and I get in trouble?”

I was having a conversation with Ruka who has a soon-to-be-driving daughter.
“She won’t be driving if her grades don’t come up.” She tells me.
“I can’t use that one on Tyler. He gets straight A’s.”
“You know…if she flunks her Chemistry class then that means she won’t be driving when Junior Prom comes around.”
“Ruka, is it wrong that we wish for our children to fail at something so in the long run they won’t be allowed to do something potentially dangerous?”

As my children get older, I realize that I am more like my mother than I ever thought I would be. My mother wanted me to be happy. She wanted me to have a boyfriend. She just didn’t want me to have Ethan as a boyfriend. He was explosive, addictive and could have gotten me pregnant. How my mother didn’t shoot him the head with her really big gun is what I am trying to figure out right now.

So as the girls get older, the conditions of their ‘happiness’ is what’s on the table.
New shoes and jeans make the older girls happy now. I will give them these.
Polly Pockets and baby dolls make the younger girls happy now. I will give them these.

What happens when they get older and going camping with their friends is what is going to make them happy?
I know what happens when they go camping! I swear on a stack of bibles that I was just a teenager a few days ago and I KNOW what they do when they go camping.

*sidenote to my mother- I never did any of that when I went camping. Terry tried to kiss me, but I told him no. he called me a tease. I never talked to him again.
But remember that houseboat trip? yeah. well.*

I want to be happy too. I have made decisions in my life that have been horribly wrong and by the grace of God I manage to come through them with the love and support of my family and friends.
I have also made some damn good decisions in my life that have made the happiest woman in the world.

I know that when my daughter comes to me and says, “Mom, i’m not happy…I am going to do something that will make me happy.”
I will ask, “Are you going to be killing, hurting, drugging yourself or anyone around you?”
She will say, “Only a little bit.”
I will say, “Wear rubber gloves…and know mommy loves you.”

ultimately, I want them to be happy. I want my friends and family to be happy.

Can we do this without judging the actions that it takes to be happy?

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08
Feb
113942336546021720
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: ex, My Brats

Normally I reserve Wednesdays for the ‘lazy’ part of my blog where I ask you all to plan my wedding for me. So far, you’ve guys have kicked ass and kept me on track.

I have been having weird dreams lately. My sister, Mother Nature’s dreaming freak, has been having the QUOTE weird /QUOTE dreams. Mine are more things that I don’t think about unless I dream about them.

A couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was pulling into the grocery center by my house and I saw a cop putting a ticket on my ex-husband’s motorcycle.

When I met my ex-husband back in 1990 he was riding that motorcycle and after we moved to Sacramento and it got stolen, wrecked and returned, he never rode it again. He use to tinker with it in the garage and sometimes I would hear him start it.
The sound that use to give me tingles, now made me want to secretly sabotage it while he was at work. I was afraid that if he got it running again, he would actually ride it…and then die.

In my dream I pulled up next to the cop and started making excuses for my ex.
“Excuse me officer, I’m sure he didn’t mean to park it there, if you give me a minute I can move the bike to my house so he doesn’t have to get a ticket.”
I’m guessing in my dreams I can ride a motorcycle, because the last time I actually rode the motorcycle I laid it down…hard.
The officer looked at me and said, “I really don’t think you have to worry about it ma’am. He won’t be riding the bike anytime soon.”
The officer then could see that I misunderstood and tried to explain it, “No, he’s fine. I’m sure he will be out of jail soon.”
I begged with the officer to explain to me what had happened and he couldn’t tell me.
In my loudest outside voice I yelled, “I HAVE THREE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN AND IF YOU DON’T TELL ME AND YOU PUT MY KIDS AT RISK, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!”
“He was driving while intoxicated.”
In my dream, I called Dan on the phone to see if he would tell me about it without me asking and he wasn’t going to tell me.
“YOU DUMB ASS!” I yelled at him. “HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID!?”

That was what the conversation went like in my dream. It’s also just like the conversation we had when I called him the morning to tell him what a bastard he was in my dream.
“I HAD A DREAM YOU GOT A DUI! YOU ARE SUCH A DUMB ASS! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WERE DRIVING DRUNK….ON.A.MOTORCYCLE!”
Dan is pretty much use to my crazy dream episodes. The whole duration of our marriage, if he didn’t hear ‘whoa, I just had the weirdest dream.’ first thing in the morning, he would check for a pulse.
“So you had a dream I got a DUI? That’s not as good as the dream I had.”
Still calming down, I stepped right into the question, “What did you dream about?”
“Twins….”

Last night I had a dream that Kara was mad at me because I was too protective and she wanted to go live with her Dad. I freaked out. I couldn’t believe it. Her whole life I have done everything to keep her safe and protect her from the evils of mean little kids picking on her, stinky boys and kissing before she was 30. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME!? She YELLED at me in my dream. My daughters don’t EVER raise their voice to me…and in this dream she was and saying HORRIBLE things.
So in my dream, after Kara sped off in a red sports car…I called her dad. “HOW CAN YOU DO THIS? HOW CAN YOU JUST STEAL HER AWAY WITH YOUR FANCY NEW PHONES!?”

Dan bought Kara a Sidekick cell phone. It has EVERYTHING. She’s, of course, grounded from it until she brings up her grades. This is what she has with her Dad, cool things. I don’t have cool things to offer.

Shaun and I had a conversation today about someone who is very insecure in their role in life. I wondered how one could cope with thinking that the world was out to get you. That you had to behave like a child to get people to pay attention to you.
I got off the phone disgusted that grown adults could act like complete idiots because of their insecurities.
I’m very secure as my role as my children’s mother. If by some freak accident someone fell in love with my ex and he got remarried and the woman wasn’t a raging lunatic, I would be happy that the kids would have another strong, woman role model in their lives.
I know that my ex is somewhat secure in his role as my children’s father. He knows they love him. He knows they love Shaun and honestly, I know he likes Shaun too.
I’m also very secure in my role as a friend. I’m a great friend and if you’re my friend you don’t have to worry about forgetting to call me back. You don’t have to call me everyday to make sure we are still friends.

I’m a VERY secure person.

So after my crazy dream this morning I called my ex. “You’re going to have to stop buying the kids cool things. Really, Dan…it’s out of control. You know they love me more. No really, they do. Stop laughing! THAT IS IT! I have had enough! Stop saying they love you more, THEY LOVE ME MORE YOU BIG DUMB ASS!”

When they get home today I am going to tell them that if they write, “I love Mommy more than Daddy.” I will let them remain in the wedding as the flower girls.

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06
Feb
113924781922623211
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

When I first started online I was told of the dangers of posting your real name. If I was ever brave enough to sign up for anything, which wasn’t often, I would use the screen name RyKarAly. It was my three kids first few letters of their names. Everyone that read it thought I was a guy or I was a huge fan of Star Trek.

For many years I never told anyone what my real name was. When someone warns me, I listen and I wasn’t going to take any chances. There were internet tuffies that would do me some serious damage if I leaked my real name.
The mysteries of what would happen if I slipped up were the things that would give you nightmares.

Thinking back to the first few years of trying to figure out the internet it reminds me of how far I have come.
It was 1995 when I bought my first computer, a Packard Bell. That computer had ONE use and ONE use only…it could make greeting cards.
For 2 years it sat there, hooked up to the internet and I had NO idea how to use it. My husband at the time, would log onto the internet and look up all kinds of things.
I would ask him simple questions.
“What is that sound? That cat in the blender sound?”
“That’s the computer connecting to the internet.”
“Huh?”
“It’s the phone lines, the computer goes through the phone lines and connects to the internet…blah blah blah.”
“Is that why the phone is always busy? Hey…what program is that?”
“It’s not a program, it’s Yahoo.”
“Where is that disk?”
“It’s not a disk, Kristine…it’s the internet.”
“What does it make?”
“Nothing, it’s just information.”
“That’s dumb.Does it have book titles in there?”
“Yes…what do you want to know?”
“I need to know what the first book Jude Deveraux ever wrote is.”

Yes, my first ‘real’ online experience started with wanting to know about romance writers.

It still took me another year before I could do more than check my email, which I had NONE because no one I knew had a computer.

Then I found chat rooms. AOL chat rooms. Maui Friends chat room. I soon had friends in Maui that thought I was funny and would greet me when I entered the room.
I would never leave this place, this was going to be my online home forever!
Hours were spent checking in to see what everyone was doing. I thought the fact that people could send pictures to each other was amazing, but there was really no way, EVER that I would be able to do it. I went to the store and made copys of pictures and sent them via snail mail to Hawaii to my friends.

Moronic would be a way to describe the look on my face when I opened my email and saw my picture staring back at me.
BLACK MAGIC! THOSE MAUI PEOPLE WERE USING BLACK MAGIC! They had taken the picture I had sent them through the mail and put it in the computer!

“DANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!” I was half horrified that this had happened. This might mean that internet tuffies would soon be showing up at my house to kill me and everyone I knew.
He came in and saw me sitting there with my mouth dropped open and pointing at my tiny computer screen with my picture on it.
“What? Kristine? What’s the matter?”
“LOOK! How did they do that?”
“Probably used a scanner.”

We went out and bought one that day. I scanned every single picture in the house. This was my new toy. I could now make greeting cards WITH pictures.
I started taking more ‘film’ pictures. Rushing to the store to develop them. Then coming home and scanning them. My life now had purpose.

“We should buy you a digital camera.” He suggested and then explained to me how digital worked and I laughed at in his face and continued to scan.

SEVERAL years later, we got a digital camera and by then I knew my way around the internet like a pro. I was the queen of WYSIWYG web design on Geocities.

A few years later I did something crazy and bought my own domain. This was before I knew about ‘blogging’. I had already started reading ‘blogs’, but I didn’t know that is what they were called…I thought they were web pages. I tried to make mine look like the ones I liked, but it was nearly impossible because these people were creative and knew things about colors that matched.
I did my best and had that domain for 2 years before I realized it was time to stop pretending I could make anything worth looking at.

Then 4 years ago, I started writing again. This time it wasn’t at the computer. It was in my garage with a pack of Marlboro and bad attitude. Poetry. I wrote some good stuff because I was in that place where the creativity is just exploding from my pen. It was time to put this is in the computer because I had tripped over a can that was full of cigarette butts and Pepsi and almost ruined a journal.

A friend saw me designing something on the computer and he asked what I was doing.

“Just putting some of my writings into web page form.”
“What’s your writing about?”
“Just a bunch of Random and Odd stuff.”

This last month I have started a few new things.

I bought randomandodd.com for $1.99 and after buying it…I realize I have no damn clue what do to next. I don’t know how to get any kind of blogging program up there or how to redirect anything or even how to set up the stupid email accounts.
I’m just as clueless as I was when I first started.

I’m also trying to find a template for Von Krankipantzen because…it’s time…it’s time for that woman who is “WHOA so strong” to have something more than the green template that blogger offers. If you’re a real designer, and want to lift the spirits of someone who battles something that no one should ever have to battle, please email me so I can give you the information. I want her to have the PERFECT template and if you read her you will understand why.

I love “Bloggers Spotlight” and I want to do more with it because I think everyone deserves comments and to be made feel special. I am just trying to find the time to do that in the middle of everything else.

Remember when I said I wanted to write about something, but I didn’t know how? My aunt is in the hospital with full liver failure and I can’t even say her name without wanting to cry, so I am dealing with that too.

My friend, ‘Cita is losing her father to cancer. My other friend is going through stuff that frustrates me and makes me want to get into a bar fight.

FOUR dentist appointments for four different kids….THIS WEEK.

Did I mention I was getting married in 5 months?

I’m stressed out. Do you notice my hair has started falling out again?

This week, Kami is taking over SPF. She will do a GREAT job. Be nice to the substitute and don’t play any mean tricks on her.
(and if you do, please take pictures so I can see!)

I know this was a long rambling post, but take your time working your way through it because it’s going to be here for a few days until I get my ducks all in a row.

TTFN.

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04
Feb
Comment Section Wish List…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Body: Okay, here’s the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (“I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part: Your wish is messed up!

Example: Bucky Four Eyes—-I wish I had a banana.
Hippo—-Granted, but the banana tastes bad. I wish I had a ticket to a concert.
Susie—-Granted, but it’s a Barney concert. I wish….

Let the “This Is What I Do On Saturday Night Because I Have No Life” game begin!

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04
Feb
Living it up…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding

I want to talk about something that is going on in my life as of yesterday, but I also don’t want to.
It doesn’t have anything to do with not wanting to share it, it’s just really sad and I haven’t wrapped my mind around it yet. I was hoping when I went to my sister’s blog today that I would find she had already took care of it, but she wrote about a good time in our lives.

Today we went and put the down payment down on the place we are going to get married. The kids got all excited when we showed them the upstairs where we would be getting our dresses on and the stairs we would be walking down.
Shaun had convinced them earlier that the place was haunted so it was fun to watch them jump everytime we entered a new room.

After signing the contracts I went looking for my family.
They were all downstairs in the ‘Groom’s Closet’. This a room below the house that is a non functioning bar with a pool table, pinball machine and foozball. I would like to think that my mom and sister would be hanging out with me upstairs while I get ready for the wedding, but I can already see my mother downstairs pretending she can’t play a lick of pool and then taking all the guy’s money after she smokes them with her patented ‘corner pocket shot’.

It’s starting to all feel real …and I’m getting excited.

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02
Feb
113895014898132159
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

Games I Play:

I know, you’ve seen this before…but this is what I play. Whenever we go to restaurants I can’t stop fiddling with everything on the table.
Even when the kids aren’t there, I get the kids menu so I can do the puzzles and I color the pictures.

Your Family Game/s:

We try to go roller skating every other Friday. It doesn’t always work out that way, but that is what we try to do.
The recent game we have been addicted to is Guitar Hero for Playstation 2. Shaun doesn’t like it, but everyone else does.

OUR game:

Shaun’s dad bought us this game called AtmosFear. It’s a DVD board game and we thought it was going to be totally lame, but it turned out to be one of those games that we all love to play together.
If you have a chance to play this game, do it. It’s so much fun!

Update:
We picked our Wedding/Reception place today. Check my Flickr site to see the pictures. We also picked a date: July 8th, 2006

and now the question you have ALLLLLLLL been waiting for, DID YOU PLAY??

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02
Feb
113887337413124295
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Shaun

*wiggling eyebrows*

Okay, last year Shaun rocked the internet with the 40 things he loves about me. The story you don’t know is that after finishing this task that no man should ever have to do, he crawled into bed and tried to wake me up with kisses.
With one eye open I looked at him as he said, “I love you.” and the first thought that came to mind was, “You been surfin’ porn or somethin’?”

Now, I give the internet…40 things I love about him.

40. In your waking hours I have never once heard you fart, yet when you sleep…TOOTER.
39. You will go to the store for me and all I have to do is the silly ‘Pweease’ voice.
38. You look really good with a tie on.
37. You are ESPN SPORTCENTER. You have every sport stat. EVER.
36. Your Chicken enchiladas.
35. You have thee most jacked up taste in music.
34. You don’t smoke.
33. You don’t drink. Built in ‘designated driver’
32. I love your mom and dad.
31. You do math for me.
30. You’ll take the cheezy cell phone so your daughter has a new, fancy one.
29. You pee in the hall bathroom so you don’t wake me up in the morning.
28. You look really good in my nightgowns.
27. You can live off of Del Taco…and that’s a good thing, because you never have lunch money.
26. You help me look for dead bodies and don’t make me feel stupid for doing it.
25. When I say i’m going to Starbucks, you know i’m really going to the Starbucks in the casino.
24. You shield me from all the mean things your ex says about me.
23. When I slide something in the shopping cart, you sneak it back out when you think i’m not looking.
22. When my ex is being an idiot, you look at me like, “Dude, you married him.”
21. You don’t talk trash about my ex. If you do, it’s funny stuff.
20. You try to look interested when I start talking techno-geek to you.
19. You make me binary shirts because you know I think it’s sexy.
18. You sold all your Hall of Fame baseball cards so I could buy a flash for my camera.
17. You think my mom and sister walk on water.
16. You never let me win when I tackle you and say I am going to kick your ass.
15. When I tell you I am going to bite you, you just sigh and offer your hand.
14. My daughters love you.
13. You make Kara feel like she finally has someone that ‘gets’ her.
12. You sing like Goofy just to make me laugh.
11. You’re a Raider’s fan.
10. You support this crazy blogging thing I do.
09. Full on conversations when you’re sleeping.
08. The way you pawn off things you don’t want to do onto Tyler.
07. The way you let the car fall apart before you tell me it’s time to bring it in….oh wait, that bugs the hell out of me.
06. You open doors for women.
05. Your humor. You’re the funniest person I have ever met.
04. The way you smell after a shower.
03. You’re totally fixed and can’t get me pregnant.
02. You don’t make me feel weird about my body even when I am feeling weird about my body.
01. I’m not afraid everyday like I use to be. Waking up is good thing now.

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01
Feb
113881589066828859
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding

Your suggestions for the flower girl dresses really got me fired up. I love the online stores. They are SO much cheaper online than at David’s Bridal, but it was good for me to get out and start the process.

This week, I need some ideas for cakes! Shaun brought home a flyer from Albertsons. I bought my first wedding cake from Albertsons and I have NO complaints. If you have any good / bad cake stories, please share them with me.

Help me pick one out too. If there is a cake you’re in love with, please send me the link!

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31
Jan
113873832536075883
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

Grab your tea, coffee, or bottle of Jim Beam…it’s time to dish.

Things you might not know about me:

I love Kid Rock. I love Eminem. I know, I know…I’m breaking mom rules here. I know, BAD WORDS…bad…BAD…bad…but I can’t help it. It’s the raw ‘in your face-this is how I feel about life and if you don’t like it, suck it-type’ music.

Michael Jackson’s Thriller video…I can’t get enough of it. I loves me some zombies dancing.

I can’t keep my room clean. Watching more than one person walk through my room is like watching the championship double dutch league skip their way to a trophy.

Being the moron I am, I am trying to quit smoking AND go on a diet at the same time. If I don’t post for a few days, you might want to contact local authorities because I might be in a pool of blood in the closet.

I have MySpace. I have it to keep an eye on my kids and the crap that they might be saying. So far, having it has saved me from having to kill them with my bare hands. I catch the stuff they try to pull before they do it.
I can also see what type of friends they have. THAT was a little bit eye opening.
12 year old girls writing like they had just finished reading Pissy Britches Blog.
I finally had to put my foot down and call some parents. When I go check out their ‘space’ and there is a picture of a 13 year old girl in her chonies, ass up and smiling at the camera…it’s time for me to get a bit pissed off. Needless to say, I nipped it in the bud. The 13 year old HATES me and my daughter might get their asses kicked at school, but at least that picture isn’t gracing the internet anymore.

While on MySpace checking to see if anyone was planning to kill me, I opened someone’s space and they had this video. I turned it up and started watching it. I’m not a big fan of videos on websites because they scare the hell out of me when I don’t expect it. Shea comes walking up and starts singing the song on the video. I start laughing because the thought of my daughter knowing the words to this song cracks me up. “What Mom? I thought you liked Jack Black. I guess officially it’s not Jack Black, it’s his band Tenacious D.” and then she proceeded to sing “Tribute”.
I have the coolest daughter. EVER.

Shaun and I picked a date for the wedding…but we might need to change it because if I can remember correctly, “that is the hottest day in the whole year and I might melt.”

This Friday for SPF we are going to be using some of Bill’s ideas:
Games People Play.
1. A game YOU play/ed
2. Your family game. (if you have a story about a game you use to play as a kid…that would be cool too!!)
3. Your Games.
Now, for some of you that don’t have board or video games…this is going to be really interesting to see what type of ‘games’ you play…and how the heck are you going to get a picture of it!! Number one is the one I am going to have fun with.

Last, but of course not least…please send all applications for ‘Who wants to date My Mom, The Fonz’ to randomandodd at gmail dot com.

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31
Jan
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: The Fonz

I use to drive a former California Highway Patrol car. No, I wasn’t a cop and it didn’t come with the cool lights. I wish!

I bought it after they had used it, painted it red and auctioned it off. The CHP did a lot of modifications to the car. The handling in that car was SWEET. I could go from 0 to “Oh shit, too fast!” in about 5 seconds. It took me about 3 months to finally be able to drive it without coming home with head and neck injuries. It took about a year for me to stop giggling every time I drove it.

I let the Fonz drive my car. I don’t remember exactly WHY I let her drive my car. I guess it was because she was the one who taught me the second half of driving a stick shift (Kathy taught me how to speed shift) and I felt obligated to let her take the new car for a spin.

This was the one of those moments where you realize that you are finally better at something than your parents. My mom couldn’t drive my car.

“The clutch is too stiff! Why is it making that sound?” She looked at me like I gave her the keys to a school bus.

“Mom! it’’s a sport car, that’s why the clutch is so stiff. That sound it’s making is you grinding the gears.”
She just looked at me and rolled her eyes.
My mother, the Fonz, GRIND GEARS? I THINK NOT.

She drove it from my aunts house to her house. By the time she pulled in the drive way I was a wreck.. The sound of the engine shutting off was the greatest thing I had ever heard.

“What?” She looked at me finally able to relax in my seat. “You look stressed out? What’s the matter?”
“Nuthin.”
I didn’t want to tell her that she shifted into fourth gear doing 30 miles an hour and after about 5 miles had FINALLY just gotten up to the speed to actually shift into fourth gear. Just leave it alone. This is the woman that gave birth to you. This is the woman who is the grandmother to your children. This is the woman that carries a .357 in her purse and has used the term, “I brought you into this world. I can take you out!”

When I was little I use to ask my mother, “Why do we have to drive Grandma around? Doesn’t she know how to drive?”

I think I just figured it out.

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30
Jan
113867616747121624
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

One step forward, two steps back.

There has been drama-galore around the house today and because i’m more mature than I let you all think I am…i’m just going to say… “Ugh.” and hope that all of you that have kids, ex’s, step kids…you’ll understand the punch that “Ugh.” brings.

I was watching this comedy show last night staringWhoopie Goldburg, who coincidentally has the same effect as sleeping pills on Shaun, and she said, “When the shit hits the fan, EVERYONE gets hit.” In our lives at Random and Odd it doesn’t matter who the drama belongs to, we all have to deal with it.

There’s this running inside joke with my friends that goes something like this, “If something goes wrong…Kristine did it.”
I could be out of town and I’ll get blamed for it. This one time, some guy who had never even met me, blamed something on me. I’m use to it now…when something happens I just ask, “Whoa, did I get blamed for it?”

I was on edge all day today waiting for the other shoe to drop. This drama that happened had NOTHING to do with me. It was between three people that I know. I knew it was happening because I was told it was going to happen. I didn’t ask to be told, I was just told. I told Shaun about it and we decided the best way to brave this storm was to board up the windows and make sure we had lots of water, because this tornado was going to hit hard, fast and cause great damage.

The storm is still brewing and I for one have decided that no matter how tempting it is to step out of the shelter to have a smoke, I will just stay put and wait it out.

Somewhere down the road, mark my words…I will post the results and i’m guessing that it will start with, ‘I GOT BLAMED FOR IT!’

With every storm, there is a break in the crashing winds and it came in the form of a poem that Marina wrote for one of her classes. In this poem she mentions her life, where she lives and what we do for her everyday…and she thanked her father and I.

Today, it was worth all the tornados, drama, poo-flying and tears.

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15
Feb
Assignment for Feb 17th 2006
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; }

stuffstuff, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
Get out your digitals and get ready for Kristine’s Comeback!!

You’ve ALL emailed me to have this added to the list for Stuff Portrait Friday and I always pretended I went blind when I read it, but here it is:

1. UNDER YOUR BED!

2. STEREO (do we still call them that?)

3. POTS AND PANS

Now this is “in all your glory” week. You’re not allowed to go clean under your bed to make it look all nice. You’re not allowed to scrap the black crap on the bottom of your pans either. This is about who you REALLY are…in all your glory.

Now, I am getting buckets of emails from people asking “Is anyone allowed to play?” YES YES YES…and this week, remind your readers of that. Explain that this isn’t just for the ‘cool’ people (and for the person who emailed me and said I was part of the cool crowd, can I give you the email address of the girl I went to school with so you can tell her that? please.)

Question: If I let my dog eat the egg (i hate eggs) from my egg mcmuffin will she get the farts?

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14
Feb
113998789206762737
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety, Letters, My Brats

When I was 18 years old I became a step parent.

This was one the hardest roads I would ever have to take. I questioned if I would be able to do it. Honestly, I think I did a crappy job of it.

I was selfish. Being #2 in someone’s life wasn’t something I was comfortable being.

Those first few years were the hardest. I thought I was doing the right thing by everyone, but the reality of it was I was hurting my ex, his son and his son’s mother. I didn’t want him to be walked on and I fought and pushed him to stand up for himself.

I wasn’t ready to step back and let him form the relationship he needed to form on his own.
“You need to do this…You need to that…”

I use to say, “i’m not trying to be his mother.” but the reality was, I wanted that. I wanted to be his mom. Sometimes it wasn’t enough just being a step-mom. I regret that, because my actions were selfish and immature. Ryan had a mother and even if I didn’t believe in the things she said and did, It wasn’t my place to push and pull.

I’m sorry Kiddo. I’ve always loved you Ryan. You taught me more things about myself than I ever thought I could learn.

It wasn’t until last year in the car ride home from Marine World that we had the first real conversation in the 14 years I’ve been apart of your life. I guess I never really knew you. I never thought to ask you what you thought, because I was afaid of what you would say.

Now, now that your dad and I aren’t together and i’m moving into a different part of my life, I realize how much I’m not ready to let you go as my step son. You prepared me for the person I am today. I want to joke with you and connect with you so I don’t lose you forever.

I hope that someday we can sit down and you can tell me everything you have stored up in your head and heart. I think I might be mature enough to hear it now.

I’m proud of you. I am so proud that you became the person you are despite everything you’ve been through, heard and seen. You’re smart, loving and damn funny.

Happy Birthday Kiddo.

and happy birthday to one of the greatest friends we both share, Chelsea.
My beautiful friend, Lisa did a bang up job as a mother to raise someone that is a role model to every person that she comes in contact with. She’s my role model too.

Must be something about people born the day after Valentine’s Day…they have all the left over love cupid didn’t use.

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14
Feb
My Girly Girls
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety, ex, My Brats, Random

Ready for the Random part of the blog?

WordPress only likes me 28%. This whole moving my blog thing…nightmare. I probably should have thought this out before I decided to break up with Blogger.

Alyx, the 9 year old showed me her political side. Only two more years left, mom. I hope we have better presidents to vote for. She had a pained look on her face. She doesn’t get the love of politics from me.

I’m having a wave of depression. It hit last night during a rerun of Sex in the City. I cried because Carrie could get out of bed really fast to answer the door. I cried because someone moves without pain and stuff jiggling.

My ex just showed up and I have to drive him to get a liner put in the back of his truck. SHOOT ME.

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13
Feb
113989744124358373
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends

if you have flickr and i’m your friend…go find your name and add a note!

Go give some love to Metro, Scotty and Sometime’s Saintly Nick (it’s his birthday today!)

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13
Feb
dot com
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

My blog has been ramsacked!

If you haven’t noticed, everything is all uh-muck here.

Fear Not, Random and Odders…we will be packing our gear and moving soon. I am currently transfering everything over to wordpress and that is why everything is all herky-jerky (i will never admit to using that word again, so enjoy it while you can)

Yes, Random and Odd is actually getting it’s own domain.

It’s like breaking up with an old boyfriend and starting fresh.

LAP DANCES AND HOT CHOCOLATE FOR EVERYONE!

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13
Feb
113985083987240536
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

***Bloggers in the Spotlight***
has moved so I could get help with it, please click HERE to see who is showcased this week!
*****************************

Guess what tomorrow is? Yep, ‘singles Awareness Day’. and I just want to get something really damn clear.

If you’re a woman and you get one of these three items for Valentine’s Day;

1. Pajama Gram
2. Vermont Teddy Bear
3. Russell Stover heart shaped box of chocolates

I want you to kick your man’s ass and tell them it’s from me.

Shaun and I were watching the pre pro-bowl activities on ESPN and EVERY DAMN COMMERCIAL was those three things.
This guy had the NERVE to wear a flannel shirt while doing the commercial for the Pajama gram that would be running on ESPN for 5 hours.
I hope those men in those 3 commercial get kicked out of the man club. I hope that every man that had to watch those men for 5 solid hours talk about how it was Valentine’s day and how women LOVE to get teddy bears find those men and kick their asses for 3 solid days.

I can’t believe ESPN would allow that. I have lost ALLLLLL kinds of respect for ESPN. EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK! EVERY ONE!

Okay, i’m sorry…there are just some things that need to stay sacred and ESPN is one of them.

*deep breath*

I had to buy a monopod this weekend because I was going to shoot Shaun’s flag football game again this year and after an hour of shooting the camera somehow puts on a few pounds and my pictures start looking shaky.
While in the camera shop getting the monopod, I heard something rustling around in this case. Since I’m such a nice person and hate to see things be uncomfortable…I went back and checked it out. Right there in the middle of all these mean looking lenses was a little telephoto lens with the biggest brown eyes just looking up at me. I could tell it had been awhile since anyone had strapped him to a camera so I asked the nice camera guy to do that for me so I could take it to the window and let it look out.

Guess who came home with me? Yep! I like to call this lens ‘the cuddler’. It likes to get right up there and snuggle into the subject.

I don’t ‘do’ Valentine’s Day because it’s not my thing. I’m one of those people that swears it off and calls it a ‘Hallmark Holiday’, bitches and complains, but secretly likes all the hearts and pretty colors and gets her heart squeezed evertyime a friend shows you what she got from her sweetheart. So this is my first real Valentine’s Day gift in 33 years.

Most women want diamonds…I want glass.

…and i’m still pissed off at ESPN.

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11
Feb
113971039389872809
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Okay! Okay! it only takes me 7 emails to get me to listen.

SOME of you think that we should be doing this wishlist thing every weekend. You guys are crazy and bored…and you wish is my command:

Comment Section Wish List…

Body: Okay, here’s the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (“I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part: Your wish is messed up!

Example: Bucky Four Eyes—-I wish I had a banana.
Hippo—-Granted, but the banana tastes bad. I wish I had a ticket to a concert.
Susie—-Granted, but it’s a Barney concert. I wish….

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10
Feb
113962344660349251
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends

Last night my friend, Ruka, took me to the ballet. I got all gussied up and looked like I should be either running a bank or married to high powered attorney. It’s not that often I pull out the black slacks and sexy shoes.

When I informed Shaun where I would be going he gave me the raised eyebrow and the crazy eyes. I know that there is a percentage of men out there that do not like going to events that have men dressed in tights, but doesn’t involve pigskin or helmets.
I’m okay with that.
There has to be a balance in the world of men that can spout sport stats going all the way back to the early 1900′s. Some men that can build a ’67 Camaro from the ground up with nothing more than sweat and some metal. There is also some men that can grasp the beauty of Rumi, Aida and Mozart…and know the difference of the three.
I have dated all three, but none the same guy.

After we got seated I thanked Ruka and said “Just in case I forget to thank you later.”

During the first 20 minutes I had forgotten what a beautiful city Sacramento was. I had forgotten that there was culture outside of Disney On Ice and the Monster Trucks. These dancers, these singers, these composers are from Sacramento. This stunning building is right here in the heart of my city and I had forgotten how beautiful it was to see art moving in front of me.

An hour into the beauty of it all, my mind started to wander. I had 5 dentist appointments next week and I needed to remember to write notes to get the kids out of school. The dancing was beautiful and the dress of that one dancer was pretty. I need to decide on a wedding dress. I wonder what we will dance our first dance to?

I use to have this exact problem when I would pray. I would start out real strong, remembering to use the Thee’s and Thou’s and by the end of asking God to forgive me for sweeping every single toy under my bed, my mind would start to wander and I would end my prayer midway through trying to figure out what I was going to wear the next day to school.

Ruka is a mother to a 4 month old and she admitted that she didn’t make it too far into The Nutcracker before she started to fidget and want to get home to the baby.
She looked SO into the program tonight, so I knew I was going to have to snap out of the daydreaming and start paying attention.

The men ballet dancers amazed me. The way he could just lift her up in the air and hold her and softly spin her…making her dress just float…I started to think about the first dance again.
I got some great ideas from the two dancers out there.
I mean, of course we would totally have to re-think some of the dance moves because i’m pretty certain there was NO way Shaun was going to be able to pick me up like that.
Don’t get me wrong, Shaun is very strong…he can totally beat me at thumb wars, but I don’t think he could lift my ass if our house was on fire and I was sitting on the remote to the wide screen he had already gotten out.
Also, the whole leg lifting thing. I can’t even hoist myself into the mini-van and make it look graceful.
Yes, I would REALLY have to rethink this. Maybe just the floating wedding dress would work.

“Ruka…I think I’m going to wear that dress for my wedding…what do you think?”

Ruka’s got a sense of humor, but we were at the ballet and it was time to be serious. I leaned back over and tried to concentrate.

“Think you can get Shaun to wear THAT?” She whispers out of the side of her mouth.

On stage there are about 15 men in underwear. Nothing more, just underwear. Tight underwear. WHITE, tight underwear.

I smile a little bit because I know that as serious as the ballet is, Ruka knows that I am going to find the humor in this and we can get a giggle about it later.

“Kristine, I think the opera singer is just making words up.”
“He’s singing about the contents of his refrigerator.”

For the next 10 minutes all I could hear is, “SEVEN BOTTLES OF E-VI-AN!! SEVEN BOTTLES OF E-VI-AN!!” sung in full blown opera.

Then the most beautiful part of the program started and all the dancers were out there jumping and spinning…and dropping to the floor?
The men in the TIGHT white underwear were all on the floor laying on their stomachs. Then because I went to church camp and was a good, model citizen for the last 15 years and my mother and sister have a direct line to God…the male dancers in their TIGHT white underwear began to lift their legs up and put their feet behind the top of their heads making the most beautiful display of acrobatic maneuvers. 15 penis’s right there for all the world to see through the TIGHT white underwear.

I leaned in really close to Ruka and whispered, “Thank you.”

Something I never thought would happen in a million years happened. She started giggling. Then I started giggling. The penis’s still right there in our faces, we giggled like we were 12 year olds. We both tried to stop giggling, but when one would stop and gain composure the other would start up again and we both ended up in tears.

We both spent the last half of the ballet with our hands over our mouth. I realized then that I would rather drink liquid Drano than to take Shaun to the ballet. I wouldn’t make it past the first 2 minutes and he would have me laughing.

Driving home, we decided that we were going to have to do that more often. It was a nice change to dress up and go out to cultured events like the Ballet and pretend we are grown up.

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09
Feb
113955440687077220
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

SPF this week is over at DallasK’s blog (Miss. Kami if your Nasty) She’s babysitting for me because I’m STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED OUT.

Since “Single’s Awareness Day” is coming up, she thought it would be fun to work with ‘Love’…

~ What you love most about your home

~ What you love least about your home

~ What you love most about yourself

You know the drill, ‘cept this time, head on over there and let everyone know you played.
I’m going to try to play this week…but honestly…I really, really, really need to freebase some more Calgon.

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09
Feb
Ha-Cha-Cha!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: ex, friends, My Brats, photography, Random, Shaun

picture AND graphics by Shaun

I got a sweet, loving, from the heart email from someone saying in tones dripping with honey that if I make my children write, “I love Mommy more than Daddy.” I will ruin them forever.
This person, this sweet, loving writer of emails dripping with sweetness also said that I have a loud voice on the internet and when I say things like ‘bribing my children’ or calling their dad a dumb-ass, that people will listen and do the same. I should be more careful of the power that I have.

Did you hear that Random and Odders? I have power – I have the power to make you do what I do…or what I tell you to do.

You know what this means my minions? SEND COOKIES.

It’s not very often that I even comment on the emails I get, but this one had to be brought out into the light.
Only 4% of my readers know me outside of this forum. They have come to my house, played with my children, heard me talk on the phone to people, have watched me interact with the people I love. Only maybe 2% of the 4% have seen me cry, drove me to doctor appointments and bought me bras.

Today is the day to open up my email closet and show you what I have been hiding. I will do it nicely though…simmer down people.

1. I love my ex-husband. He is a dumb ass though. When I call him and he answers -I say in the sweetest tone EVER…”hey dumbass.” or “butthead” or “Dorkwad” or “penis wrinkle”. When he does something stupid, I call him on it. When I do something stupid he mumbles under his breath about it. My children know I love their dad, they also know I don’t hate him. They also know that he bugs me and pisses me off sometimes.

2. When I say, “I beat the children.” it’s just a joke, I don’t really beat the children. I bite them though. Just little nibbles of love.

3. For those of you that have emailed and said they think I am freebasing Calgon…you’re on to me. It’s a nasty habit and I really need to stop. For those of you that think I am addicted to Xanax…it takes me 5 months to get through 20 pills…I think I might be okay.
No, I am not on any anti-depressants because I’m not depressed…I have anxiety. I get depressed, but because of the cost of anti-depressants I just choose to drink heavily instead.

4. Yes, this is the real me. My name is Kristine, his name is Shaun. I’m not trying to hide anything…except the bodies of the dead ex-boyfriends I have buried in the backyard.

5. The Fonz is my mother. Dashababy is my sister. I’m pretty sure that Kathy is really my mom and it’s some creepy thing they kept from me all my life.

6. No, it’s not a gimmick- I really don’t like lawn gnomes. The children’s song, ‘this old man…he played one…he played nicknack on my thumb…with a nick-nack-paddy-wack- give a dog a bone…this onld man went rolling home.’ FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT. That will be the sound I will hear over the phone during a heavy rain and I am left home alone for the weekend.

7. I don’t take all the pictures you see here or on my flickr site. Shaun takes some too. You’ll be able to tell our pictures apart. Mine are in focus and his angles are all weird. It’s really that simple.

8. Since we are on the subject of cameras and emails I get…The D70 is great…but really…people without D70′s take Wuh-Hayyyyy better pictures than people with them.
I have two examples of people I know that take better pictures without…Wave of Modulation and The Fat Housewife (Stiznizzay!). It’s not always the camera…it’s the eye of the person holding it. Here is an article about this.

9. You have asked and I will tell you because hopefully by being honest about this in a public forum that it will be the encouragement I need to fix it so I can fit into a wedding dress.
Size 14-16 jean size. 14 IF they stretch. Goal size (again) is 10-12.
I’m 5’9 (and a half) I slouch though, so I look shorter at times.

10. The email I get most often is asking about how many people read this site? I don’t know. I stopped counting after 5. ;)
If I get 20 comments, then that day I had 20 readers. That’s how I like to look at things, it keeps the balance.

My lurking readers are smart though, they don’t comment because they know I will eventually tell them to send me cookies.

*raising eyebrow* hey…why do my lurker readers never comment? COMMENT TODAY, DAMN IT.

I think I’ve answered and addressed all the lovely emails I get. Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to go wash down a few Xanax with some Captain Morgan, free base some Calgon and wait for my children to come home so I can make them sing the song I am going to write about how their love for me is stronger their love of their father. It’s going to be a big hit.

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24
Feb
misunderstandings…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends
I bit the bullet yesterday and joined a gym that only charges me $5.00 a month to try to break their equipment. If I didn’t start using it the day I got the membership, It would sit there unused for 2 years, so I had to go buy some workout clothes.

After an hour with ‘Cita in Target trying on work out pants we decided that there is no ‘like’ in Lycra. EVERY DAMN DIMPLE IN MY ASS – EXPOSED!

Today we went again. The promise of a coffee afterward is the only thing that kept me from throwing my cheap 2 dollar radio at the Buns of Steel woman in front of me on the stair climber.
On the way back from the coffee place we dropped into a nail shop to check the prices. I grabbed a sheet and on the way home ‘Cita read the descriptions of everything.

“Pedicures that come with EVERYTHING are only 35 bucks. Not bad.” The brochure was a copied sheet of paper with many misspellings and fragmented words. welcome walkins. we do nails and foot nice. you satisfaction is sure.

“Lip waxing.” ‘Cita announced from the backseat.

Then in one of those moments where I am certain that my mother really did give birth to me, I asked…”Do you think they mean…like Brazilain wax…like your pussy lips?”

The van was silent for a second before the sound of Shaun and ‘Cita laughing almost made my ears bleed.

“What?” I was laughing too, but not really certain just why yet. They were laughing so hard they were crying, so it must have been something totally funny.

“Kristine…LIPS.” ‘Cita says. In my mind…I see…down there type of lips. I turn around and ‘Cita is touching her lips on her face. “LIPS!” she’s still cracking up and I am still just clueless.

“Why would you wax your lips?” The laughter gets louder and Shaun almost pulls the van over.

“YOUR UPPER LIP!” and she motions to the hair above your lips.
Now why wouldn’t they just put ‘UPPER LIP’ and not confuse the people? I would have DIED of embarrassment if I had gone in there, tossed my $5.00 on the counter and dropped my britches asking for a ‘lip wax’.

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23
Feb
SPF: Feb 23, 2006
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

the inside of your nightstand drawer

This was my grandomother’s magazine cabinet. I’m going to fill it up with important documents, but that would first require me to remove my ass from this computer chair.

a good book you’ve read

Good. It wasn’t GREAT. If anyone likes Jude like I do will read it though…and if you want it, send me your address and I’ll send it to you.

your favorite lamp

This is the lamp you would see if you walked through the front door and looked up.
It replaces the tacky gold & glass one that comes stock in the house.
Wow…this is the first SPF at the new place. Hope everyone isn’t too thrown off.
I added a link at the top that will take you to the SPF for the week.
PLEASE remind your readers that ANYONE can play. Give them the directions:

Find out what we are taking pictures of by clicking the Stuff Portrait Friday link at the top of this blog or wherever you put it on your blog.
Take the pictures.
Post them Thursday night or Friday morning.
Leave a comment here so everyone can go check out your stuff.
Go check out the people who comment on your blog and leave them a comment!that’s it! simple huh? DID YOU PLAY???
Comments (58) // Add Comment
22
Feb
American Idol…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
You all love it when I post while medicated. I’m sorry, but i’m only a little bit medicated right now, but I did watch American Idol tonight and I finally found someone that LOOKS and ACTS like me when i’m medicated.

Taylor Hicks. I love him. Is it wrong to love him so much?
I’m afraid to go to Cat’s Blog and see what she has to say about my favorite. I will though. I will have to spend the next couple of months battling Cat about American Idol. I know her, I know she’s probably fawning over Ace. He’s cute, but he’s a Contantine throwback. I like the Vin Deisel looking guy. Meow.
This is my favorite time of the year.

Comments (46) // Add Comment
22
Feb
The Ruse
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

While on MySpace I get a lot of weird ‘friend requests’. I use to have in my profile, “If I don’t know you, don’t even ask. I’m not here to ‘hook up’ or ‘hang out’. I’m here to keep an eye on my five kids. Yes, FIVE kids. Turned off now?”
A couple weeks ago I got a friend request from a ‘band’. I get those all the time. A band comes to town and they add all the locals of that area to their friends list so they can see that they have an upcoming gig.
I went to the profile and checked out their pictures. I then emailed the band back and told them that normally I don’t add people I don’t know, but that if he wanted I would come down to the bar on Saturday and get some better shots of them. They took me up on the offer and off I went into the brand new land of ‘band photographer’.

There was no way I was going to go on Saturday, to a bar, by myself. What had happened to me? I use to be fearless. Before I met Shaun, I spent more time at the Almond Tree then I did at my own house (on the days that the kids were at dads) It’s not that I was a huge drinker, but that I liked the company. I liked meeting the old people and talking about WW1 and what it’s was like to have to churn your own milk. Maybe that was my problem. Old people bars is what I was comfortable with.
Shaun went with me and after 5 minutes I think he was ready to leave. The band hadn’t even made it up on stage and he looked annoyed. I thanked him over and over for going with me. I even drug out my friend Ruka, but she had to leave early because her boobs were going to explode in the middle of the bar and shower the patrons with baby food.

I got the right lighting. I got the shots. I stepped out for a smoke because my eardrums were going to burst if I didn’t walk outside for a minute.
Just like me, I forgot my smokes at home and I had to bum one off an adorable guy outside. He introduced himself as John and that he was the next band going on. I asked him how different his music was from what was on stage now.
“Night and Day. This is more raw Metallica stuff. We are more…U2.” He smiled his perfectly perfect smile with his perfectly perfect teeth.
The rest of the band came out and they all smiled with their perfectly perfect teeth too.

“You’re not from around here are you?” I felt like such a hick.
“No, were from LA and before that New York. How did you know?”
“Teeth. You have nice teeth.”
I asked for permission to take some pictures of them and I would email them when I got home and they agreed. See, I do ask permission..SOMETIMES.

I called ‘Cita and my beautiful friend, Lisa and told them to come down to watch the second band. There was no way that Shaun was going to make it through another set of music. It could be Matchbox 20 up there and he would have left. He is a man and he was hungry. That was the end of the story.

The second band began to sing and I was amazed at the sound that was coming from this guy. He was awesome. Not like, ‘rad’ type ‘awesome’, but the ‘I was in awe’ ‘awesome’.
The whole band had this easy feeling about them. they weren’t trying overly hard to play or sing. They were laughing and smiling. They were so cool, but didn’t act like it.

Whenever I get people to go places with me I feel guitly the whole time. I always feel like if they aren’t having a good time then I shouldn’t be having a good time. During the first part of the performance, I kept looking over and checking on ‘Cita and Lisa to make sure they weren’t about ready to bolt out the door, but they actually looked like they were enjoying themselves.

After it was over the whole bar exploded into applause. “Don’t stop!!” “KEEP SINGING” was yelled from the back.
These guys were really good. They had a great sound and we felt honored to be able to be listening to them sing. It was one of those moments where you think, “Someday, when they make it big…I’m going to say I saw them in this little bar.”

The whole band treated us so nicely. They treated everyone nicely come to think of it. Respect, they were so respectful of everyone. You don’t see a lot of that anymore.

Oh, did I mention the part about how damn adorable each of them is? I didn’t? Dear Lord, I’m slipping.
HOT. They were all NUMMY GOOD LOOKING. Young, but MM-MM-Good!
They hung out and chatted for a long time and thanked us for coming out. Normally I would have hung out longer, but the damn bar didn’t carry hard liquor. They only had beer, and it was flat. I don’t care how damn hot those guys were, if the Captain wasn’t hanging out with us, I had to go home and get in my PJ’s and call it a night.

On the way out we giggled like high schoolers on how cute they were.
“Which one?” ‘Cita asked.
“I think they were all cute.” My beautiful friend, Lisa is much like Charotte from Sex in the City. She doesn’t like to let anyone feel left out and is the most fair person you’d ever know.
“Kristine, how about you?” She asked when she finally got the answer out of Lisa.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I loved taking picture of the bass player because he had the most beautiful smile. I liked the drummer’s hands. The singer had great expressions…”

“PICK!”

I’m trying to be more like my beautiful friend Lisa, I picked all of them.

Upcoming Shows (
Feb 23 2006 8:00P
Velvet Lounge Washington DC, DC
Feb 25 2006 11:15P
Mercury Lounge NYC, NY
Mar 11 2006 9:30P
Atomic Cantina Albuquerque, NM
Mar 18 2006 10:30P
The Spill Austin, TX
If your’e in any of these areas, you need to go see them. When you get back, tell me which one you picked okay??

rusemusic.com

Comments (29) // Add Comment
21
Feb
smile…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

Random Stuff before the post:
**The picture from the last post was taken in Old Sacramento from upstairs and the girls looking up. Shaun then added windows because when you look at the picture, it looked like it needed some. He’s weird.

**SPF: CLICK HERE I am still trying to figure out where to put all my stuff. Stuff Portrait Friday use to have a cool place on my side bar at the old place. I guess it might need it’s own room: SPF.

**Links at the bottom right hand of this blog? GO GET FIREFOX! it fixes the problem INSTANTLY.
and Ladybug–Dooce is always right about everything, so you just go get Firefox or I am going to email Dooce and tell her you went against her wishes and she will have her army of followers leaving ‘get firefox’ comments all over your blog ;) We all know you don’t want that ;)

Kate: Butterfly Girl has been helping me with “Spotlighting Bloggers” and she is awesome, thank you so much!!

and Remind me this week to write a whole long post about ‘Hope’ the doll that was made for me.

Welcome Monday Tuesday!This was my ‘leap of faith’ weekend as I moved over here. Again- Phil…I heart you. You are my hero. Lawbrat..thank you for letting me use him like a dirty whore!!

Kathy sent me an email this weekend and i’m not allowed to tell anyone what it says or she will kick my ass. It was private sister stuff.
I thought, “what could she write me in an email that she couldn’t put in a post?”

Because I write everything down and put it out there, I tend to forget that some people don’t do that. They aren’t as willing to share as much as I do. When I started blogging, it was more raw and from my gut. Then I got readers that knew me and could poison me while I slept so I toned it down. I also didn’t want people seeing me in any other light than the one I turned on. After awhile I felt it was okay to share my anxiety attacks, that I bit my fingers, that I had ghetto denim furniture and that my baseboards were non-exsistant.
I also let you in my home and let RSG wash my cupboards and Pissy burn down my backyard. If I could live through this, then I could share anything right?

Wrong. I hide lots of stuff. The number one thing I try to hide is my teeth.
I use to have the top dentist in Sacramento, then I moved and I had to find another dentist. He was great, friendly and did a darn good job. Then Dan and I split up and I lost the dental insurance.
After that, my dentist were back alley clinics that may or may not have been dental board certified.
I had a cavity in the back of my front tooth that the back alley dentist fixed in 10 minutes, made me pay cash and then pushed me out the door. He may have insulted me verbally, but since I had no idea what language he was speaking I can’t say it for sure.
I also had a crown put on my front side tooth that didn’t match the other teeth, it was way-hayyyy to white to even come close to matching. I lived with it thought because I didn’t have the money to fix it.

For the last 5 years I have only half smiled or if I did smile, I photoshopped it. My teeth were not something we were even allowed to discuss.

So yes, there are things I don’t talk about. UNTIL TODAY. I went to the dentist today and fixed it. I fixed my teeth. My teeth…FIXED.
You should have seen him working on my chompers. He sounded like he was fixing a Ford truck.

“BOND, get me some bond! CURE THIS! Ohhhhh, niiiiiiiiceeee, let me just build up the back a bit…bond it….cure…niceeeeeee.

My upper lip is SO numb right now and it looks like Melanie Griffith after her injections. My teeth though…Watch out Hillary Duff!

I’m so excited to actually smile for the camera! I mean, not right this second, because I look like a moron. I’m also happy I can talk about it. I still can’t tell you what my sister and I talked about though…secret sister stuff.

Comments (27) // Add Comment
20
Feb
plumbing problem
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

1. No spell check. I can deal with that. Someone said I could download it and put it in here. You guys are giving me wa-hayyyy too much credit.

2. I got an email saying that all my links are shoved over to the right and to the bottom. It looks totally fine on my computer. I had to call in the computer specialist (i’m trying to not laugh my ass off as I type that) to ask him what he though. He told me to shut down my Firefox (the best web browser…EVER.) and open it up in Internet Explorer (no so good)

The problem is Internet Explorer (I have been blambing IE for things for years, now I finally have proof)

As much as I love every single one of you, I am not going back to IE. So this where I sit you all down and tell you about Firefox. It’s better. It’s way better. It’s free. It’s got cool stuff. It’s free. It makes everyone’s blog look so much better. It’s better. It’s free. ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT! Nilbo gave me a free sample and I have been hooked ever since.

You can’t use the excuse, “I have all my links in IE and I know where everything is.”
Firefox will take all your links as is and put them in just like you had them IE.

Oh wow, check it out, WordPress has this thing that says, ‘password-protect Post’. Wow. cool.

Damn it, I got distracted. You all need to go download Firefox.

Comments (56) // Add Comment
20
Feb
Welcome…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends, Random

I did it. I finally broke up with Blogger.
I actually feel like I am in the middle of a strange break up. It’s been over a year that I have been blogging with Blogger, and now I have to pack up all my things and look around at all the things I’m leaving behind because I don’t have any room left in the Minivan.

I’m wondering how many friends I will lose in the break up? I hope Blogger doesn’t talk crap behind my back and tell everyone how I always left the wet towel on the floor.

Please, please, PLEASE bear with me during this weird readjusting period. There are so many things I have to figure out before I can settle in and sleep without feeling around on the Blogger side of the bed.

For those of you that broke up with your Blogger account a long time ago, you know that weird place I am in. I want to make this new place just like the old one-but want a clean start too. For those of you that haven’t made the big break up, I understand too. This was hard. REALLY hard. Sick to my stomache-scared to death hard.

I want to thank Phil for putting up with me through this. I IMed him a million times over the past few months telling him I was going to break up with blogger and he said he would be there for me if I left him, but I always stuck around. I even called Phil and talked to him on the phone about it and he was helpful. When I finally decided to pack my things, he held my hand and let me cry on his shoulder as I got my locks changed. I heart you, Phil. I heart you so very much. I owe you so much for helping me pack up and get my cleaning deposit back. I owe you!

So, forgive me if things are weird right now with randomandodd.com. I am still trying to figure out what looks good where and how to get the damn toilet to stop running.

Oh Shit, WordPress doesn’t have spell check?

Comments (42) // Add Comment
18
Feb
Guess What?
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends

, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
http://blog.mrtland.com/

Someone finally had that baby!

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17
Feb
spf
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; }

spf, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; }

Having a hell of a time with Blogger:

Under my bed:

My Stereo:

My Pots and Pans:

Everything is crammed under my bed. I don’t have a stereo, just a pair of cheap speakers and MySpace music and the pots and pans fresh off my stove from dinner.

DID YOU PLAY?

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16
Feb
icky
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Letters, marina, My Brats, Random

, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
The month of February: 5 kids, 15 dentist appointments.

It’s been a rough month for me as far as dealing with stress. It seems like when it rains, it pours.

right now – you’re all shaking your head, ‘yep’ huh?

That’s the part that gives you perspective. EVERYONE knows what it feels like and they all have a story to tell. Some people like to play the ‘mine is worse than yours’ game. We won’t be playing that here today.

I actually deal with stress quite well. (My doctor doesn’t agree with that last statement though)
I don’t panic or have a break down in the middle of it all. I manage to get through the stress, check for damages and then I go into ‘repair’ mode. Repair mode is me crawling in my bed, having 15 long anxiety attacks, crying until I have no tears left.

My whimpering must have some sort of beacon/homing device because in the middle of it all, my sister will call me.
Kathy is a Taurus, she’s a no-shit type of person, get your ass out of bed and get some perspective! She’s exactly what people need when they are starting to freak out. She’s the patron saint of the crazy people.

Last night I was coming down from a anxiety attack when I thought about Kathy and how much it would suck if I were the older sister. She’s the rock, the centerstone of the masterpeice of our family. I don’t think I could handle that much pressure and responsiblity.

Kathy’s word is the final say in everything. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t pack a gun like my brother the cop, or could snap you in two like my brother Jerry, or throw a pissy fit like my brother Michael…Kathy’s word is the law. What she says, goes.

I know I always talk about how wonderful my sister is. Honestly, I don’t say it enough. “Thanks for dealing with shit” doesn’t seem like enough. When were together we joke, laugh and catch up…but here on my blog is where I can give her comforting hugs and pretend that it’s enough.

Alyx is going to follow in my sister’s shoes. She already is the ‘go to’ kid when something needs to be worked out. Shea is just like me, the little sister that looks to her big sister to make sure everything is okay.
Shea always comes up with these big plans and Alyx just looks at her and says, “that’s not going to work, but it’s a good idea.”

My sister gives me that look over the phone. I can hear it…and you know what?

She’s always right.

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04
Mar
Christie Wilson on 48 hours TONIGHT
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I just wanted you to all know that on 48 Hours (cbs) tonight, Christie Wilson’s story will be told.

If you’re curious about the person that ‘Cita and I have been searching for, please watch the show.

48 Hours Link

Christie Wilson Link

Comments (8) // Add Comment
04
Mar
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends

Last weekend I went to a soccer game to watch Chelsea, the daughter of My Beautiful Friend, Lisa. The bruise has finally gone away, thanks for asking. This Friday night i’m sitting in front of the computer supporting ‘Cita’s son, DJ Jumbo 65.

For those of us that knew him before he got all big, we just call him…Kyle.

He moved into the house next door when he was four years old. Since he was that young he would take things apart and put them back together. It was almost creepy.
If you asked him what he was doing he would say, “Making it better.”

One summer ‘Cita and I were sitting in her garage planning some trouble we should get into when Dan came over and asked us if we knew where one of his power tools had slipped off to.
There was Kyle, all of 6 years old, strapping this thing on to his wagon. After that we had to make sure we remembered to shut the garage door so he wouldn’t come over and ‘borrow’ our stuff.

I can’t remember how old he was when he told of us a plan he was working on for a car that — oh, I better not tell you. He’s still working on it. It’s pretty impressive and someday I will be able to say, “Kyle invented that.”

In 3rd grade when most kids are doing “How To Make A PB&J”, this child is writing a paper on how to install a sound card on your PC.
Kyle has always impressed me with the stuff he invents or does. I have said more than once, “You are the coolest kid I have ever met.”
For my 30th birthday I went to ‘Cita’s house for my party and he had set up the whole house with music that he ran off his laptop. He installed the disco ball and had us all in there dancing. He was 9 years old.
There has been something he has been working on for as long as I have known him. You know that movie, “Pump Up The Volume”? That is Kyle. He’s a DJ. He use to ask me a million questions about my time on the radio and ‘theoreticaly’ how could he pirate a radio station. Me being an upstanding citizen never gave him that information, but might have pointed him some directions. I’m not saying I did though. Stop with the hate mail.

At 13 he finally did it. Legally. (Proof alone that he’s not MY kid)

So this wild and crazy Friday night I am sitting here listening to Jumbo 65. I’m his only listener right now so all of my requests and shoutouts are going through pretty quickly.
The really strange thing is…I’m having a blast!

You should join me…I have an ‘in’ with the DJ and can get all your songs played if you just IM me. kristine_seguin@yahoo.com or justkeeton on everything else.
Go check out JUMBO 65 …

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03
Mar
i fell asleep last night and forgot!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

I was so tired last night, i fell asleep during American Idol. I had to ask Shaun who got booted. THEN, I tried to stay up for some stupid reason I watched ‘Skating with Celebs’ and I watched the whole thing, then fell asleep before I heard who won.
Needless to say, I didn’t play…
So, did YOU play?

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02
Mar
another one.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
my ex…the guy I sent to Utah to live for the rest of his days…has seen my blog. I can’t say he ‘reads’ it, but he’s seen it.

So I think that pretty much covers all my ex’s that read my blog, minus my first boyfriend, Ethan. He couldn’t figure out a computer if his brain was replaced with a microchip and he spent 2 years at Heald College.

This ex boyfriend left a message saying that; even though he’s not gay, he wants everyone to vote for Ace. I had to call him.

Ring, Ring.
“Hello, this is Utah.”
“You know how I know you’re gay?” I ask.
“Shut up.” he laughed.
“You sent out a mass email asking them to vote for your boyfriend!”

It was childish and totally non-PC, but i’m only 12 years old 40% of the time.

It turns out that Utah grew up next door to Mr. Crazy Catipillar Eye. So, geez…if it wasn’t enough that Ace is hot – my ex thinks you should vote for him.

*I* on the other hand have changed my toon just a bit. I loves me some Taylor. You know I do! but uh…I have watched Chris Daughtry sing “Fuel” like 9 times in one day.
Cat’s Blog is a MUST MUST MUST (all the time) right now. Even if you don’t like American Idol, you will read her blog because the way she describes everyone. How she writes. How she makes you love and hate certain people. How she makes you giggle.

and if you haven’t guessed it, i’m not doing the greatest right now. Bear with me through this tough time.
*please – no ‘you hate gay people’ hate mail. Everyone knows I am all about hot gay lovin’, my bestest friends are gay. So shut your email programs.
(yes, I will still get, ‘you hate gay people’ email even though I wrote that last line)

Comments (18) // Add Comment
02
Mar
dear god, please let the medicine kick in.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety
51 R A N D O M AND O D D THINGS A B O U T me

1. i’m not like everyone else. i’m sure you figured that out already though.

2. i use to collect watches. i never wore them though. i still don’t.

3. i believe that everything needs to be fair.

4. i’m ALWAYS misunderstood. i mean, it doesn’t matter what i say, someone will screw it up and i get knee deep in crap for it. i swear, nothing pisses me off more. oh wait…go on to five.

5. i hate it when someone has a problem with me and goes to other people about it. i mean, if you have a damn problem with something i did or said, come to me. it makes me want to scream when i hear second hand about someone being mad at me for something random.

6. i gave birth to three little girls. not at the same time though.

7. i hate drama. not the movie type, but the actual real thing. i love good gossip every now and again, but leave your drama at home.

8. i drink rootbeer when i’m sad.

9. my mom and sister are my bestest friends in the whole wide world.

10. i own too many pairs of shoes. if i had more shoes i might be happier though.

11. i’m a scuba-diver. i don’t like cold water scuba diving. i’m too poor to go to maui and do the kind of scuba diving i love.

12. i can sleep in my bra.

13. this is my favorite number.

14. my theory is; i’m not paying back my student loan until i get a job that requires the use of my degree. i paid off my student loan.

15. i believe in god. i love church, but i hate the people that go to church on Sunday and then can be mean, evil and hypocritical all week long. i don’t want to be that person so i talk to god at home. sometimes he talks back.

16. one of these days i will be free.

17. my favorite football team is the raiders. i wear the kickers jersey.

18. i’m pretty sure the world will come crashing in the day my mom dies.

19. i can’t eat fish, it makes me sick.

20. if you’re my friend, i will love you and cherish you forever.

21. i bite.

22. my whole life revolves around my children. every choice i make involves the welfare of my children.

23. i didn’t have a storybook childhood, but i don’t blame everything that happens in my life on the shit that happened when i lived in the red house.

24. i wanted to be a dallas cowboy cheerleader when i was little.

25. i don’t have a favorite color. if you gave me multiple choice i could pick a color for you though.

26. i use to collect divorced men. i had a nice collection going for awhile, but they all turned on me and found normal girlfriends.

27. my baby toe has the stupidest small nail you will ever see.

28. i love christian troy from nip/tuck.

29. my cars have always had names.

30. i hate mean people. i really do. i mean HATE them with a passion. they annoy me to no end. why do people have to get all mean and nasty with other people? when people get mean with other people in public for any reason it just shows no class what-so-ever

31. sky-diving is NOT on my list of things to do.

32. french-irish-indian. what were my parents thinking?

33. my mom and dad are divorced.

34. i have ex boyfriends who live in: Texas, Utah, Washington & Canada. it’s so much easier to tell the girls that they moved, then that mommy got sick of hearing the sound of their voice.

35. martin luther king jr. wrote a letter that moved me more than anything else i have ever read.

36. i fell asleep at a grateful dead concert.

37. ethan thompson was my first. sorry mom, i know you wished it was someone better, but hey…here’s to things only getting better.

38. i’ve never met anyone stronger, smarter and more fair than my friend lisa.

39. i’m not a bitch. i always wanted to be one, but i’m not.

40. $80 was spent in beer so i could win a game of pool. it was so worth it.

41. photography has always been a huge part of my life.

42. i always get what i want, even though it never works out the way i want it too.

43. i believe in rumi and his words.

44. i have horrible anxiety attacks on a daily basis.

45. hope is my favoritest thing in the whole world.

46. i live in a house. the house is located in a ritzy part of town. i’m broke as hell.

47 feng shui ruined my marriage.

48. my favorite movie for a long time was “Real Genius”.

49. i have a degree in computer science/network administration. i don’t use it though.
50. al green is my favorite singer. i want to see him sing live before i die….or he dies.

51. sometimes when i get sad i listen to van morrison. it doesn’t make me feel better but it gives me hope that there is a bright side of the road.
Tell me something random about you. I need a little bit of cheering up.

Comments (64) // Add Comment
28
Feb
SPF
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday
Look up at my masthead, right below it is a link to the Stuff Portrait Friday page. See it? Cool.

March 3, 2006 – Randomness Galore!

your favorite jeans
birthmark, mole or freckles
your photo albums & where you store them
note to Pissy: Every once in a great while I will put two posts up in one day…just for you…because you’re a stalker freak of nature that would rip off my arm and steal my handbag if I carried something other than a cheap Tim Allen toolbag.

note to Everyone else: Yes, I carry a rather large Tim Allen toolbag. It’s the only thing big enough for my camera, lenses and my wallet. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!

Comments (24) // Add Comment
28
Feb
Bad Moon Rising
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding

Some people like the rain. I’m not one of them. It depresses me. Yesterday it sort of snuck up on me so I wasn’t too bothered by it. Today I woke up to it all dark and ugly outside. It made me achy.
I worked out on Sunday and over did the leg machine and I still hurt.
I know, I know…drink water, stretch, alter days, blah blah blah. I hate working out. I do. I hate getting dressed to go to the gym. I hate driving to the gym. I hate the smell of a gym. I hate the beeping of the machines at the gym. I hate the ‘rush’ you get. I hate the way my body wants to kick my ass for doing something that hurts me in the long run.
So yes, I hate the gym. I’m not going to stop going though and I will tell you the story of why I will continue to go to the gym even though I loathe it.

Last weekend I drug everyone to the bridal show at the mall so we could pick up some books and ideas. I might have also went because there could have been a chance of some sort of chocolate fountain or cake testing.

We headed home after we looked at all the booths and poked fun at the cheezy DJ’s. Shaun saw a bridal mart on the way home and since we were all in the mood, we pulled over and went in.
If you’re in the market for a 1983 wedding dress, we found the place. The dresses were only a hundred bucks and if I looked hard enough I might be able to find something I liked. ONE. I found ONE dress.

‘Cita and I grabbed the dress and headed into the dressing room.

“I don’t know, Kris. This sort has a snag on the front. We would have to get it dry cleaned…” She tried to fix the snag with her finger while I wrestled with the strapless bra they provided.

“For a hundred bucks, I will get it dry cleaned. I’m only going to wear the thing for 4 hours and then it goes in a bag in my closet.”

With some help I got the dress over my head and pulled down to right about my waist.

I pulled down on the hem, but for some strange reason, it wouldn’t go any further than the waist.

Instead of asking what the problem is, ‘Cita grabbed the hem and helped me pull it down, but encountered the same problem as I did. “What the hell?”
She requested that I turn around so she could pull the dress down in the back and since I am SO good at following orders I turned around.

The look of horror on her face made me ask what the problem was.

“Turn around and look.” I did.

My ass. My square ass was blocking the damn dress from coming down. The dress fell like a curtain around my window shaped bare ass. Do you get the picture I am drawing for you? I looked like I was mooning someone from my house window.
I burst into laughter because after the horror of it all sunk in, the humor of it was just too much. “Get it off.” I laughed and now it looked like ‘Cita was trying to save me from a aligator that had swallowed me. “PULL!” and she was…but she was laughing to hard and she couldn’t get a good grip.

After trying to tug the dress off for 30 seconds I said, “Stop. ‘Cita. Stop.” We were giggling so hard that neither one of us was getting to far. “We are going to have to pull it together long enough to get this dress off of me.” we didn’t stop laughing the whole time, but we got the dress off.

As we were walking out the other brides trying on dresses looked at us like we had smoked a bowl in the dressing room. They couldn’t look TOO snooty for God’s sake, they were trying on dresses that I wore during my first wedding 13 years ago!

Whenever we need a good laugh now we will always remember the time in the dressing room when my ass decided that I would not be wearing a 1983 gown at my 2006 wedding.

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27
Feb
Pick One..
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: My Brats

I have more than 5 readers so I should have NO PROBLEM pawning these brats off.

Warning:

They are SO loud.
You must request that they do stuff 5 times before they do it.
They come with dogs that pee in the middle of the hallway.
They ask for stuff at every single store.
They are SO loud.
Each one of them eat thier weight in food.
Video games will take up your whole paycheck.
They wear your clothes and ruin them.
They borrow your shoes, trip in them and break their ankles.
You have to pay for the broken ankles.
They are SO loud.
Boyfriends calling.
Girlfriends calling.
You will totally need internet to keep them amused.
In order to be heard, you must yell.
They don’t do chores.
They are SO loud.
You won’t ever be able to find anything you own because they take it.
SO loud.
I know I mentioned it somewhere….THEY ARE SO LOUD!
Okay, soooooo…which one are you taking?

Comments (38) // Add Comment
27
Feb
R & O Reminder
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
Today is Renee’s Birthday. Sneak over there and wish her a happy birfday.

oh and since Monday’s suck, if you want to play wishlist…today would be a good day.

Comment Section Wish List…

Body: Okay, here’s the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (“I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part: Your wish is messed up!

Example: Renee—I wish I had a birthday present.

KimmyK—Granted, but the birthday present is a IRS audit. I wish I had a new car.
Dashababy—Granted, but it’s a Geo Metro that only goes 15 miles per hour…I wish..

Comments (34) // Add Comment
26
Feb
Bringing the term “Soccer Mom” to a whole new level
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends, My Brats, Random

Because we lead the most exciting life EVER, we spend our weekends going to Chelsea’s soccer games.

For those of you that are new to Random and Odd; Chelsea is the daughter of our Beautiful Friend, Lisa. She’s 15 and one of my favoritest people to photograph. She’s a good girl and she’s been playing soccer forever.

Tonight the team they were going to play didn’t show up, but they had the field for 40 minutes regardless. Some of our kids went out and played with the team and somehow all the parents got out there.

I have a new found respect for Chelsea, who goes out there and runs back and forth, kicking the ball and making it look easy.
Because I was on the parent’s team I got to play against Chelsea. We both went for the ball at the same time and she kicked me right in the foot. HARD. She’s always been such a sweet girl, but I need to rethink her disposition now.

Since I wore flip flops to the game, I had to borrow Chelsea’s shoes. I looked so rad in my penguin Vans.

If you look at the picture real closely you’ll see me doing this high kick thing.

Take a good look, my leg will NEVER go that high again.

Comments (17) // Add Comment

15
Mar
What do I want for my birthday next Friday???
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

I want America to STOP VOTING FOR CHICKEN LITTLE ON AMERICAN IDOL!
That kid is giving me nightmares and morning shakes.
You need to jump on my “Chris Daughtry” bandwagon. This guy…is hot. HOT. and he can sing too…which is very important in a contest where you’re singing. Did I mention he’s hot? I think I might have.

SPF is brought to you this week by the letter C:
Your Couch
Your Coat
Your Candles

One of the 400 blogs I manage to squeeze in a month has this thing where she just leaves clothes places. She doesn’t like the way the jacket looked, she takes it off at the restaurant and just leaves it. She then blogs about it. It’s hysterical…if someone knows which blogger i’m talking about, leave a comment.
Anyway, I am going to be doing some of the same kind of stuff, except it’s just going to be called Kristine’s Krap. I’m just going to take a picture of something, if you want it, tell me. It’s yours.

WHOA! you should see the hair on my legs! Should I shave or braid it? Too much information?

So yeah. My birthday is March 24th. That’s a Friday. What are my plans? Dunno…you got any ideas?

Comments (37) // Add Comment
14
Mar
Look! Look!! LOOK!!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Dashababy

I have bangs again!

My hair has been bugging me for MONTHS AND MONTHS. I thought I would try out the whole, ‘no bangs’ thing. I grew them out and I realized I have the biggest forehead in the state of California. I also realized that I will never have cooperative hair that will frame my face. No sir. I will have the hair that falls RIGHT into my eyes no matter what the length it is.

Kathy ( Dashababy ) came down this weekend and kicked ass with the coloring of my hair. You all wish you had a hairstylist like my sister. She could be Jennifer Aniston’s hairdresser. Anyway, she colored it and it’s beautiful…BEAUTIFUL…work of art. She trimmed it up a bit. I HATED IT. It wasn’t her haircutting I didn’t like (because she could be Jennifer Aniston’s hairdresser) it was the damn, ‘no bangs’. That stuff is HARD to master.

“I want mom’s bangs.” I told her.
“Kris, mom’s hair is totally different than yours.”
My back stiffened and my lower lip started to quiver.
“You want bangs, I’ll give you bangs.”

And she did!! They are perfect!

Getting ready to go to the gym this morning, I checked them out the mirror. I had this strange urge to sing.

“Shot through the heart…and you’re to BLAME!! you GIvvvveee luuuuuuuuv, a bad name!”

I look like Jon Bon Jovi.

Comments (34) // Add Comment
13
Mar
A Day In The Life Of Someone Else…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding
mas·och·ism (aka: Wedding Dress Shopping)
n.

The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
No, there was no sexual gratification had from looking for wedding dresses.
BUT, there was much physical and emotional abuse, humiliation, mistreatment and unpleasant experiences.

Mom and Kathy came down to help me find the ‘The Perfect Dress’. We picked up ‘Cita along the way and … well…Shaun too. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME! Yes, I brought a man to a wedding dress store! I made him sit there! I made him watch as we paraded lame dress after lame dress! AND HE HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I didn’t even feel bad for a second because I HAD TO WEAR THE DAMN THINGS!

We had a system. Mom and ‘Cita scouted out dresses while Kathy fanangled a way to get them on me. I think Kathy had better luck dressing me when I was 5 years old then she did this weekened.
“Come on, Kris…if you try it on, I will buy you a lollipop when we leave here.”
“Kathy…I hate this dress, don’t make me.” I think I might have stomped my feet a few times.

Mom thought one of those type of dresses that hug my body all the way to my feet would look good. After Kathy convinced me that she would smother my mother in her sleep if I tried it on, she admited that it didn’t look as good as she thought it would. She mumbled something about me looking like a sausage link about to explode as she walked off to find another dress that would then make me look like a clown.
We tried on every dress within my limited price range and style preference. I looked like everything from a school teacher to a breakfast burrito. NOTHING fit right. I hated everything. The last dress was going to be the LAST dress because I was DONE.

And it was the last dress we went with. Yes, Random and Odd readers…I have a dress to get married in.

I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do that again though.

Comments (29) // Add Comment
10
Mar
Grr.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: ex, Letters, My Brats
mad

adj 1: roused to anger; “stayed huffy a good while”- Mark Twain;

It’s Friday and I don’t normally post anything but SPF on Friday…but as you can see, I’m a bit in a huff.

I got some stuff floating around that if I don’t get off my chest there is a good chance I will ice pik the next bastard that comes within arms reach of me.

I DID NOT STEAL HIM AWAY. Really, I was like 18 years old and he was 28. If I had ANY clue you even exsisted, I would have RAN (not walked) because girl, you have mental problems. You scare me. No one, NO ONE person should carry around that much anger and resentment for another person. It makes you ugly with bitterness. Stop blaming me for your inablity to regain a life. It’s been like 16 years…move on. Find someone that is going to love you for who you are. Find someone. He’s not really THAT much of a catch. HONESTLY, I was married to him remember? We split up 6 years ago, if he was going to come running back, he would have by now. MOVE ON. Stop blaming me for everything. Oh, and just so you know…all those text messages- you should really be careful what you write because someone might let someone else read them. Can you say, EWWWWWW?
Dude, for real…quit with telling people about my private life.
Take some damn responsibilty for the people in your life. Quit EXPECTING people to bend over backwards to make your life easier because you have been done wrong in the past. The world…it’s not revolving around you. The world revolves around who is getting booted of American Idol and you need to learn that. Sit down, shut up and take some responsiblity.
The hate mailing people. Thank you. Thank you for taking a vacation. I probably shouldn’t say anything because it will just egg you on to write me more, but for the last two weeks you have been so nice as to not point out that I am a horrible person.
Dog, QUIT THE DAMN BARKING. I know life is unfair. You’ve told me that a million times. I have mentioned many times that you could have been a goner if it wasn’t for the boy saving your butt and bringing you home. All I ask is you pee OUTSIDE. You don’t BARK the whole time you’re out there and looking at me like I am Cruelella. Also, might I add…QUIT CHEWING ON MY DAMN FLIP FLOPS! Quit eating crayons, Quit shedding ALL THAT HAIR ALL OVER MY HOUSE. Is it really asking that much?
House, CLEAN YOURSELF! I’m tired of doing it. The kids are tired of doing it.
The ‘boinging’ gas light in my car. QUIT BOINGING! I know, YOUR EMPTY. FILL YOURSELF UP YOU LAZY ASS CAR!
Television, STOP WITH THE STUPID REALITY SHOWS! American Idol and Project Runway are the only two we need.
Fat ass, SHRINK or spread the fat other places! Quit hogging all of it. Can you give some to my scalp or the bottom of my feet where no one can see it!!?? Selfish bastard!
Laundry…you just need to stop.All of my ‘huffyness’ isn’t directed to anyone that reads my blog. Except the hate mail people. These are my everyday problems with my everyday people or objects.I know i’m going to get hatemail from the Laundry Advocates now.
Comments (37) // Add Comment
09
Mar
SPF: early for once!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random, stuff portrait friday

This Week…I got my pictures taken BEFORE the sleeping pills kicked in. You guys might insist that for now, I pop the pills and let Shaun do it for me, because I realize, when my heart isn’t isn’t in, I just can’t shoot the picture right.

I got ONE suggestion for future SPF’s. Come on guys…help a sista’ with anxiety, planning a wedding, losing hair and gaining weight by the second OUT. Leave me some idears we haven’t done yet. NO METRO…WE WILL NOT POST OUR BOOBIES!

Your Garbage Can:

As you can see, it’s Thursday night and the trash will go out tonight.

My Junk Drawer:

Okay, Okay, Okay…it’s ONE of my junk drawers. You guys know me too well.

My Trunk:

Actually this is Shaun’s trunk…notice the boxes? I AM KICKING HIS SORRY ASS TO THE CURB…just kidding….SHAUN GOT A PROMOTION!!! He brought home some of his junk and honestly, it will be in that trunk for MONTHS before it makes it into the house.

and for my southern friends, “Did Ya’All Play?”

Comments (66) // Add Comment
09
Mar
Hey Kathy!!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Dashababy

Don’t forget to bring the bleach! My hair SUCKS.

Comments (6) // Add Comment
08
Mar
it just sounds nasty.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
When I joined the crazy-cheap gym I noticed these big balls over in the corner. I know they are the key element to that new fandangled fad called Yoga. I saw the womens sitting on them, doing crunches & leg lifts. If I had one of those at home it would be the leading excuse for fighting in our house.

“Mommmmmmmmmm! Tyler threw the ball at my head and knocked me through the front window. AGAIN.”
“Mooooooommmmmm, Kara won’t let let me have a turn on the big ball!!”

After working out one day I noticed the Yoga Ladies weren’t at the ball corner and the balls were all just sitting there, ready to be sat on and played with. I had watched the Yoga Ladies enough to be able to mimic the things they were doing on the big bouncy balls.

With confidence I walked over and sat down on one. Comfortable. I then stretched out my legs a bit and something strange happened…it felt good. It felt good to be sitting on the balls. I wiggled my butt on the balls and I could feel that if I moved just a little bit, I would actually get a nice little work out.

It got to the point where as soon as I got to the gym, all I wanted to do was work out on the balls. They have these things called Medicine Balls. While sitting on the balls, you could have balls in your hands.

Yesterday I skipped the gym, but still thought about the balls. I missed the balls. I like how the balls were making me feel. My back was starting to feel better and that is a good thing. I have rationalized in my head the reasons I should buy some balls that I can have at home and not have to share with anyone else.

I think that if I had balls I would be able to strengthen my back and things would get easier for me.
If I had balls I could get in and out of the car with ease and I would be able to drive better.
If I had balls I would be able to lift heavy things.
If I had balls I would be able to sit for longer periods of time.

Yes, I am pretty certain I need to get me some balls and my life will be so much easier.

Comments (41) // Add Comment
07
Mar
SPF: March 10th
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random, Wedding

March 10th – like yesterday’s paper…
1. Your Garbage Can

2 Your ‘Junk’ Drawer

3. Your Trunk
I was going through the last of my suggestions for things to do for SPF (hint) and I found one that William suggested.
He suggested: heros and villians. This is a great suggestion and I want to do it, but I can’t this week, or next week…or the week after that. Other than myself, I have only two other ‘villians’ and I shouldn’t be posting pictures of them.
I do want to do this theme and I will. I promise. Just let me get through some bitterness before I do it.

Your garbage can. Strange yes, but i’m guessing we get a lot of different types of cans.
That junk drawer, AS IS. No cleaning it out…you hear me Kami? NO CLEANING IT. Just open it up and show us what you have.
The next is trunk because if you’re like me…and I am finding out, YOU ARE ALL RANDOM AND ODD…you have piles of junk in the trunk.

oh, and let it be known – My Birthday… THIS MONTH.

Comments (24) // Add Comment
06
Mar
‘leavin…on that 1:25 train to Davis…leavin on that train…whoo-hooo.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

Shaun decided that I had been hiding in the bedroom too long and it was time to come out into the real world. After all the kids went to their other parents for the weekend, we grabbed the cameras and headed out.

I like old Sacramento, but we had already gone down there a few weekends ago and taken pictures. On our way to some unknown picture taking place I saw the old train station. I convinced Shaun (very quickly) that we should at least go check it out.

Long story short, I got to go for a ride on Amtrak! I’ve never been on a train before. It was so exciting!! We only went 20 minutes from home, but it was by train so it made the destination THAT much cooler.

When we got back, Shaun took me to play with the fish at the fishy store. Okay, he brought me to the fishy store so HE could play with the fishies.
I swear, if you’re depressed…go to the fish store. I was cured. I wanted to take this one fish home with me because he was so fun (as you can clearly see from the picture.)

After the fishy store we found this little retro shop that had all these really cool 80′s prom dresses and flashy jackets.
I told the woman behind the counter that I had escaped the ‘burbs of Rocklin for the day and that I just wanted to try on some wigs. She could tell I wasn’t kidding because I had that ‘I’ve been living with the yuppies‘ blank look and dark circles of depression and anxiety around my eyes.

You saw my Frenchie wig…now check out the Jessica Rabbit Wig…

Meow.

Bow-Chicka-bow-bow.

Comments (25) // Add Comment
05
Mar
Peachy Keen, Jellybean.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

I would have been a beauty school drop out.

Comments (21) // Add Comment

15
Mar
What do I want for my birthday next Friday???
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

I want America to STOP VOTING FOR CHICKEN LITTLE ON AMERICAN IDOL!
That kid is giving me nightmares and morning shakes.
You need to jump on my “Chris Daughtry” bandwagon. This guy…is hot. HOT. and he can sing too…which is very important in a contest where you’re singing. Did I mention he’s hot? I think I might have.

SPF is brought to you this week by the letter C:
Your Couch
Your Coat
Your Candles

One of the 400 blogs I manage to squeeze in a month has this thing where she just leaves clothes places. She doesn’t like the way the jacket looked, she takes it off at the restaurant and just leaves it. She then blogs about it. It’s hysterical…if someone knows which blogger i’m talking about, leave a comment.
Anyway, I am going to be doing some of the same kind of stuff, except it’s just going to be called Kristine’s Krap. I’m just going to take a picture of something, if you want it, tell me. It’s yours.

WHOA! you should see the hair on my legs! Should I shave or braid it? Too much information?

So yeah. My birthday is March 24th. That’s a Friday. What are my plans? Dunno…you got any ideas?

Comments (37) // Add Comment
14
Mar
Look! Look!! LOOK!!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Dashababy

I have bangs again!

My hair has been bugging me for MONTHS AND MONTHS. I thought I would try out the whole, ‘no bangs’ thing. I grew them out and I realized I have the biggest forehead in the state of California. I also realized that I will never have cooperative hair that will frame my face. No sir. I will have the hair that falls RIGHT into my eyes no matter what the length it is.

Kathy ( Dashababy ) came down this weekend and kicked ass with the coloring of my hair. You all wish you had a hairstylist like my sister. She could be Jennifer Aniston’s hairdresser. Anyway, she colored it and it’s beautiful…BEAUTIFUL…work of art. She trimmed it up a bit. I HATED IT. It wasn’t her haircutting I didn’t like (because she could be Jennifer Aniston’s hairdresser) it was the damn, ‘no bangs’. That stuff is HARD to master.

“I want mom’s bangs.” I told her.
“Kris, mom’s hair is totally different than yours.”
My back stiffened and my lower lip started to quiver.
“You want bangs, I’ll give you bangs.”

And she did!! They are perfect!

Getting ready to go to the gym this morning, I checked them out the mirror. I had this strange urge to sing.

“Shot through the heart…and you’re to BLAME!! you GIvvvveee luuuuuuuuv, a bad name!”

I look like Jon Bon Jovi.

Comments (34) // Add Comment
13
Mar
A Day In The Life Of Someone Else…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Wedding
mas·och·ism (aka: Wedding Dress Shopping)
n.

The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
No, there was no sexual gratification had from looking for wedding dresses.
BUT, there was much physical and emotional abuse, humiliation, mistreatment and unpleasant experiences.

Mom and Kathy came down to help me find the ‘The Perfect Dress’. We picked up ‘Cita along the way and … well…Shaun too. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME! Yes, I brought a man to a wedding dress store! I made him sit there! I made him watch as we paraded lame dress after lame dress! AND HE HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I didn’t even feel bad for a second because I HAD TO WEAR THE DAMN THINGS!

We had a system. Mom and ‘Cita scouted out dresses while Kathy fanangled a way to get them on me. I think Kathy had better luck dressing me when I was 5 years old then she did this weekened.
“Come on, Kris…if you try it on, I will buy you a lollipop when we leave here.”
“Kathy…I hate this dress, don’t make me.” I think I might have stomped my feet a few times.

Mom thought one of those type of dresses that hug my body all the way to my feet would look good. After Kathy convinced me that she would smother my mother in her sleep if I tried it on, she admited that it didn’t look as good as she thought it would. She mumbled something about me looking like a sausage link about to explode as she walked off to find another dress that would then make me look like a clown.
We tried on every dress within my limited price range and style preference. I looked like everything from a school teacher to a breakfast burrito. NOTHING fit right. I hated everything. The last dress was going to be the LAST dress because I was DONE.

And it was the last dress we went with. Yes, Random and Odd readers…I have a dress to get married in.

I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do that again though.

Comments (29) // Add Comment
10
Mar
Grr.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: ex, Letters, My Brats
mad

adj 1: roused to anger; “stayed huffy a good while”- Mark Twain;

It’s Friday and I don’t normally post anything but SPF on Friday…but as you can see, I’m a bit in a huff.

I got some stuff floating around that if I don’t get off my chest there is a good chance I will ice pik the next bastard that comes within arms reach of me.

I DID NOT STEAL HIM AWAY. Really, I was like 18 years old and he was 28. If I had ANY clue you even exsisted, I would have RAN (not walked) because girl, you have mental problems. You scare me. No one, NO ONE person should carry around that much anger and resentment for another person. It makes you ugly with bitterness. Stop blaming me for your inablity to regain a life. It’s been like 16 years…move on. Find someone that is going to love you for who you are. Find someone. He’s not really THAT much of a catch. HONESTLY, I was married to him remember? We split up 6 years ago, if he was going to come running back, he would have by now. MOVE ON. Stop blaming me for everything. Oh, and just so you know…all those text messages- you should really be careful what you write because someone might let someone else read them. Can you say, EWWWWWW?
Dude, for real…quit with telling people about my private life.
Take some damn responsibilty for the people in your life. Quit EXPECTING people to bend over backwards to make your life easier because you have been done wrong in the past. The world…it’s not revolving around you. The world revolves around who is getting booted of American Idol and you need to learn that. Sit down, shut up and take some responsiblity.
The hate mailing people. Thank you. Thank you for taking a vacation. I probably shouldn’t say anything because it will just egg you on to write me more, but for the last two weeks you have been so nice as to not point out that I am a horrible person.
Dog, QUIT THE DAMN BARKING. I know life is unfair. You’ve told me that a million times. I have mentioned many times that you could have been a goner if it wasn’t for the boy saving your butt and bringing you home. All I ask is you pee OUTSIDE. You don’t BARK the whole time you’re out there and looking at me like I am Cruelella. Also, might I add…QUIT CHEWING ON MY DAMN FLIP FLOPS! Quit eating crayons, Quit shedding ALL THAT HAIR ALL OVER MY HOUSE. Is it really asking that much?
House, CLEAN YOURSELF! I’m tired of doing it. The kids are tired of doing it.
The ‘boinging’ gas light in my car. QUIT BOINGING! I know, YOUR EMPTY. FILL YOURSELF UP YOU LAZY ASS CAR!
Television, STOP WITH THE STUPID REALITY SHOWS! American Idol and Project Runway are the only two we need.
Fat ass, SHRINK or spread the fat other places! Quit hogging all of it. Can you give some to my scalp or the bottom of my feet where no one can see it!!?? Selfish bastard!
Laundry…you just need to stop.All of my ‘huffyness’ isn’t directed to anyone that reads my blog. Except the hate mail people. These are my everyday problems with my everyday people or objects.I know i’m going to get hatemail from the Laundry Advocates now.
Comments (37) // Add Comment
09
Mar
SPF: early for once!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random, stuff portrait friday

This Week…I got my pictures taken BEFORE the sleeping pills kicked in. You guys might insist that for now, I pop the pills and let Shaun do it for me, because I realize, when my heart isn’t isn’t in, I just can’t shoot the picture right.

I got ONE suggestion for future SPF’s. Come on guys…help a sista’ with anxiety, planning a wedding, losing hair and gaining weight by the second OUT. Leave me some idears we haven’t done yet. NO METRO…WE WILL NOT POST OUR BOOBIES!

Your Garbage Can:

As you can see, it’s Thursday night and the trash will go out tonight.

My Junk Drawer:

Okay, Okay, Okay…it’s ONE of my junk drawers. You guys know me too well.

My Trunk:

Actually this is Shaun’s trunk…notice the boxes? I AM KICKING HIS SORRY ASS TO THE CURB…just kidding….SHAUN GOT A PROMOTION!!! He brought home some of his junk and honestly, it will be in that trunk for MONTHS before it makes it into the house.

and for my southern friends, “Did Ya’All Play?”

Comments (66) // Add Comment
09
Mar
Hey Kathy!!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Dashababy

Don’t forget to bring the bleach! My hair SUCKS.

Comments (6) // Add Comment
08
Mar
it just sounds nasty.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
When I joined the crazy-cheap gym I noticed these big balls over in the corner. I know they are the key element to that new fandangled fad called Yoga. I saw the womens sitting on them, doing crunches & leg lifts. If I had one of those at home it would be the leading excuse for fighting in our house.

“Mommmmmmmmmm! Tyler threw the ball at my head and knocked me through the front window. AGAIN.”
“Mooooooommmmmm, Kara won’t let let me have a turn on the big ball!!”

After working out one day I noticed the Yoga Ladies weren’t at the ball corner and the balls were all just sitting there, ready to be sat on and played with. I had watched the Yoga Ladies enough to be able to mimic the things they were doing on the big bouncy balls.

With confidence I walked over and sat down on one. Comfortable. I then stretched out my legs a bit and something strange happened…it felt good. It felt good to be sitting on the balls. I wiggled my butt on the balls and I could feel that if I moved just a little bit, I would actually get a nice little work out.

It got to the point where as soon as I got to the gym, all I wanted to do was work out on the balls. They have these things called Medicine Balls. While sitting on the balls, you could have balls in your hands.

Yesterday I skipped the gym, but still thought about the balls. I missed the balls. I like how the balls were making me feel. My back was starting to feel better and that is a good thing. I have rationalized in my head the reasons I should buy some balls that I can have at home and not have to share with anyone else.

I think that if I had balls I would be able to strengthen my back and things would get easier for me.
If I had balls I could get in and out of the car with ease and I would be able to drive better.
If I had balls I would be able to lift heavy things.
If I had balls I would be able to sit for longer periods of time.

Yes, I am pretty certain I need to get me some balls and my life will be so much easier.

Comments (41) // Add Comment
07
Mar
SPF: March 10th
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random, Wedding

March 10th – like yesterday’s paper…
1. Your Garbage Can

2 Your ‘Junk’ Drawer

3. Your Trunk
I was going through the last of my suggestions for things to do for SPF (hint) and I found one that William suggested.
He suggested: heros and villians. This is a great suggestion and I want to do it, but I can’t this week, or next week…or the week after that. Other than myself, I have only two other ‘villians’ and I shouldn’t be posting pictures of them.
I do want to do this theme and I will. I promise. Just let me get through some bitterness before I do it.

Your garbage can. Strange yes, but i’m guessing we get a lot of different types of cans.
That junk drawer, AS IS. No cleaning it out…you hear me Kami? NO CLEANING IT. Just open it up and show us what you have.
The next is trunk because if you’re like me…and I am finding out, YOU ARE ALL RANDOM AND ODD…you have piles of junk in the trunk.

oh, and let it be known – My Birthday… THIS MONTH.

Comments (24) // Add Comment
06
Mar
‘leavin…on that 1:25 train to Davis…leavin on that train…whoo-hooo.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

Shaun decided that I had been hiding in the bedroom too long and it was time to come out into the real world. After all the kids went to their other parents for the weekend, we grabbed the cameras and headed out.

I like old Sacramento, but we had already gone down there a few weekends ago and taken pictures. On our way to some unknown picture taking place I saw the old train station. I convinced Shaun (very quickly) that we should at least go check it out.

Long story short, I got to go for a ride on Amtrak! I’ve never been on a train before. It was so exciting!! We only went 20 minutes from home, but it was by train so it made the destination THAT much cooler.

When we got back, Shaun took me to play with the fish at the fishy store. Okay, he brought me to the fishy store so HE could play with the fishies.
I swear, if you’re depressed…go to the fish store. I was cured. I wanted to take this one fish home with me because he was so fun (as you can clearly see from the picture.)

After the fishy store we found this little retro shop that had all these really cool 80′s prom dresses and flashy jackets.
I told the woman behind the counter that I had escaped the ‘burbs of Rocklin for the day and that I just wanted to try on some wigs. She could tell I wasn’t kidding because I had that ‘I’ve been living with the yuppies‘ blank look and dark circles of depression and anxiety around my eyes.

You saw my Frenchie wig…now check out the Jessica Rabbit Wig…

Meow.

Bow-Chicka-bow-bow.

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05
Mar
Peachy Keen, Jellybean.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

I would have been a beauty school drop out.

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27
Mar
thank you! so! much!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety, My Brats

Overwhelming. That’s the word to describe the past weekend.

Thank you, each and every single one of you that wished me a happy birthday. Thank you to each of you that gifted me the coolest stuff, wrote nice things and made dorky faces. Thank you to each one of you that sent me something in the mail and thank you for all those awesome E-cards. Thank you, My Beautiful Friend Lisa who gave me the coolest birthday presents – Driving my kids to and from school for the day and a B&B bag for my make-up. I can’t decide which one I like more, the driving of the kids or the bag ;)

I started out the day a little depressed. Shaun woke me up as he was leaving for work with a ‘Happy Birthday’ sweetheart. I was sad he was leaving on.my.birthday.
I soon forgot as Tyler yelled, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTINE!” as he headed out the door for school and all four girls crawled into bed to give me birthday cuddles.

When I got up to make my coffee I realized the house would need to be cleaned before Kara got home with 10 of her girlfriends. I would be cleaning on.my.birthday.
Kara had mentioned that she wanted me to come to her school for my birthday and have lunch with her, but there was NO way I would be able to get the whole house cleaned, get her decorations, cake, pizza, soda AND have lunch with her.

The living room and dusting got done pretty fast, but that damn kitchen was a pain in the ass to clean. I would get distracted by something that pissed me off…like the dishes the kids had put back in the cupboard that were CLEARLY NOT CLEAN! or that everytime I opened a drawer something fell out of it because people CRAM stuff in there.

Overwhelmed. I was getting pissed and started to cry. Then I realized something as noon approached. Kara would never remember how I had spent my whole birthday cleaning the house for her party, but she would remember that I showed up at her school to eat lunch with her. I put down the sponge and mad dashed it for the shower.

I’m blessed, I know this and I don’t take it for granted. When the girls saw me sitting in the cafeteria they came up and gave me long hugs. Their friends even came up and gave me hugs. I had made the right choice.

After lunch, Shaun surprised me by coming home early and helping me set up for the party.

All in all, it wasn’t such a bad birthday after all.

I wanted to thank everyone for making my birthday SO very special. You made a huge difference in my day and I thank you! I love ALL my cyber gifts.

I just wish I could get this damn magic wand to work!!

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26
Mar
it’s a 2 Xanax night.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: kara

I had a hot cup of coffee this morning and I wrote a post that would have made you laugh, cry and beg me for more.

Yeah, WordPress ate it. Honeymoon’s Over.

I will totally re-write it tomorrow. I will also re-learn the fine art of ‘copy’ the post before I hit publish.

But, just so you know…Kara’s birthday theme was ‘Casino’ and I taught the kids how to play BINGO!

Shaun said they looked like the youngest senior citizen EVER.

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24
Mar
It’s My BIRF-DAY!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

1. Take a picture of something you own that you’re ‘gifting’ me with.
(you don’t really have to give it to me, it’s a ‘CYBER’ gift – so go hog wild!)

2. Write 3 words that describe me on paper and take a picture of it.

3. A self portrait of you doing a dorky face in the mirror.

Well, today I turn 34. I’m going to get up, take a shower and get ready for my daughter’s 13th birthday party. Whoo. Hooo. Livin’ La Vida Loca!

I can’t wait to see what ch’all got me :)

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23
Mar
Name The Band…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

There are a bunch of band references… Name the ones you can find.

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23
Mar
all better.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends, Random
You know how you never get down on your knees beside the bed to pray unless things are REALLY bad?
Today was one of those days where I slid down the hallway on my knees until I hit the side of the bed and screamed, “GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!” palm to palm with fingers interlaced.

When I broke up with blogger, I might have been a tad bit on the cocky side. Blogger got his revenge today when the shit hit the fan and I had NO idea what to do.

Phil helped me set up randomandodd with WordPress. When I asked him what I could do to repay him, he said, “Pay it Forward.” I thought, “sounds good…I’ve been helping people with their blogs for a long time and maybe this was my ‘forward’ part.” I had karma points building up. Just in case I didn’t have enough stored up, I decided to do Von Kranki’s website (which, yes…I haven’t uploaded yet…but it looks REALLY good).

So back to the shit hitting the fanith. I freaked out this morning when my website decided it was going to underline itself and then drop the sidebar to the bottom of my blog. I knew that SOME people can’t see the side bar (because they use IE and not Firefox…and that is more of a personal problem and they need to come to grips with letting go of IE on thier own *cough* susie) but the majority of the people can…but this whole underlining and no background thing was just CHEAP looking!

It was funny at first because I thought I could fix it. I thought, “If I find the right template it will work itself out.” and then there is that moment when you realize, “Oh shit, I can’t fix this…and I am STUCK WITH UGLY FOR THE REST OF MY DAMN LIFE!” and so I prayed…to…well…an internet God of sorts.

And you know what God said? God Saidith, “You Useith The Wrong Tags.” and he showed me where I went wrong in my evil ways. I say EVIL ways because it happens to be the stupid post that I mock my beautiful friend, Lisa in.

I did learn a lot in the whole process though:

1. I can’t fix everything.
2. Men are important in my life. I will never make it as a lesbian.
3. I know how to upload new templates to my wordpress.
4. Tags with U in them…not good. Don’t use them.
5. If you mock your friends, you will have to pay the price.
6. You all come here WAY-HAYYYY too much because some of you saw all 49 different template changes.
7. I don’t deserve my degree.
8. When I panic…I laugh a lot.
9. When I panic…I blame Vanilla Ice and Gwen Stefani.
10. There are really nice guys out there and I will be sending like 157 boxes of Pop Tarts and Rice Krispie Treats to him….and I promise to pay it forward. again.

I had to delete Kara’s Happy Birthday post, because I suck and probably used some God fobidden “U” in there. I think I did. Yeah. Guess who isn’t perfect? Guess who had to ask for help? ME.

Alright, I’m going to lay down with that sick child I have home today.

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23
Mar
*giggle*
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
BEAR WITH ME WHILE I FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX MY SITE.

I have to admit, this is some funny shit!

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21
Mar
‘kris! no!”
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: friends, Random
Internet,

Meet my beautiful friend Lisa’s hand. You would think … being it my BIRTHDAY week that she would allow me ONE picture…JUST ONE…but ALL I GET…is the hand. *dramatic sigh*
And uh…this one.

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21
Mar
Four Days
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
This is my birthday week!

Usually at the beginning of March you start hearing “It’s my BirFday Month!” chanted, sang & thrown slyly into a conversation.

I haven’t really done that this year. I don’t know why. I like thirty four. 34 is WAY better than 24. This means I am one year from 35 which means i’m 5 years away from 40. THAT is a good thing! You might ask, “Why is she excited about being 40?”
HELLO??? Have you not seen my mom and sister?
Our genes show that the older you get, the more smokin’ hot you get! We went to Vegas when Kathy turned 40 and I had to get a stun gun to keep the guys away from her.
It will be nice to be 40 and be walking down the street and have a guy almost hit a garbage can because he’s staring so hard at you.

Right now, at 34…I will get the occational contruction worker pull up next to me and give me the eye.
I then turn around and look in my MINI VAN at the FIVE PLUS children crammed into it and then look back at him like he’s on crack.
One day when the van was crammed full of older kids I got someone checkin’ me out and one of the kids noticed. I looked over and he was all kindsa googly eyed. I was SHOCKED! I think I had like 8 kids in the car at the time and this guy was pimpin’ the mini van!
“No pimpin’ the mini van! THAT IS WRONG!!! EWWWWWWWWWW!!!”
The kids just started laughing hysterically.
“I wouldn’t care if the guy was HOT, if he’s going to pick up on me while I am driving EIGHT kids around in an UGLY MINI VAN…he has no class or taste WHAT SO EVER! EWWW…no pimpin’ the mini van. ick.” So yes, bring on 40! I will then be able to drive a car that doesn’t require 12 airbags. >Have I mentioned it’s my birthday week? Yes, Friday is my birthday! THIRTY FOUR BABY!! Okay, that was a lame attempt at getting excited for my birthday, and I am very sorry for the all caps and lame ass use of ‘baby’ at the end of the sentence. Yes, I felt like a frat boy for 3 seconds. STUFF PORTRAIT FRIDAY is all about my birthday. Yes, I am getting selfish in my old age huh? BRING ME ICE CREAM! 1. Take a picture of something you own that you’re ‘gifting’ me with.
(you don’t really have to give it to me, it’s a ‘CYBER’ gift – so go hog wild!)2. Write 3 words that describe me on paper and take a picture of it.

3. A self portrait of you doing a dorky face in the mirror.
Wow. Lookie there. I asked for something for me and only me. BABY STEPS DR. MARVIN!

Shaun keeps asking me what I want for my birthday. I already bought it off of ebay for 25 bucks. The picture taken with that present is at the top of the page. Yes, another lens. It sounds crazy, but I can tell you which one of my lens took what picture. I’m that big of a geek.

What do I want from Shaun for my birthday? A CLEAN MINI VAN TO PICK YOUR CHILDREN UP IN! Yes, I want you to clean like you have OCD! spend like 12 bucks on quarters to suck the living shit out of the carpet that houses more fast food salt than any other vehicle on the road. The dashboard…ARMOUR ALL THAT BASTARD! I mean, NOOKS AND CRANNIES of the car.
I know a GREAT example: Remember how the inside looked when we bought the car? YEP! That’s what I want for my birthday.

(I’m thinking he would rather just go buy a new car than clean the one we have) and there you have it. Tuesday’s post.

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20
Mar
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
My sister wrote a post the other day where she said, “i’m done blogging.”
I called her and we talked a little bit and I admitted to her that I’ve acutually thought of doing the exact same thing sometimes.
I started justkeeton many years ago and it was mostly out of vanity of learning how to do something new. I had learned html and I wanted to see how far I could take it.
The thing is…it took me.
I started ‘Ohana’ because I was feeling something bubbling up inside of me, this new beginning to something and I wanted to watch it grow.
I started Random and Odd because ‘Ohana’ was no longer ‘mine’ anymore.

Many of you have ‘secret blogs’. I have been lucky enough to stumble through some of them. I find that I am more amused by what you write when you think no one is watching. I like the way your writing comes from the heart. It’s not like you’re writing to tell a story, your writing because it’s being torn out of you!

What makes a sucessful blog? Honesty without fear. Boundry lines that are clearly set.

‘Cita and I went to bingo one night and the place caught on fire. No, I didn’t have anything to do with it…this time. The people were evacuated and we were told that we would have to come back the following week to play out the games.
I was pissed! I wanted to be able to go back in and get my money back!
Many people decided they were going to talk to the manager about how they felt about the ‘coming back next week’ issue. I jumped on the bandwagon.
The old bat that was running the joint clearly did not take her medication that night because she was screaming at people that had the nerve to insist on getting a refund. I was one of them. Because I’m a good, upstanding bingo player (and I was scared shitless of that little old lady) I came back the next week to play out my games of bingo.

That night, the little old bat was in charge of handing out the free bingo papers to the people who had played that week the place caught fire. She KNEW she was going to get some lip from people so she wore a hat that said, “Queen Bitch”. She wore a shirt that said, “Queen Bitch”. She had a tiarra on that said, “Bitch”. She was letting everyone there know that she wasn’t going to listen to us bitch about a damn thing.

I don’t like that queen bitch, but I admire the point she made. It was HER bingo palace, and she was in charge.

There was only one time I was afraid to hear that someone read my blog. The parents of Tyler’s girlfriend. I didn’t want my words to effect the way people judge my children. I want my children to have a fair shot at whatever they want to do with their lives and I didn’t want them to say, “Whoa, that is the woman that is raising him? Should we really trust our child to be at someone’s house who opens her whole life up to the internet on a daily basis?”

The other thing about taking pictures and writing is that it has gone from taking pictures to taking pictures and then having to ask the person if it’s okay if I post them because it’s no longer just my mom and sister looking at them, it’s thousands of strangers.

As I was typing this post I got a phone call from a parent asking me if I knew my daughter had her own website on MySpace. I explained to her that I do know about it and I use it as a way of keeping tabs on what is going on with not only her behavior, but her friends. The mother was concerned about the safety factor of having my daughter post pictures of herself. During the whole conversation I’m thinking, ‘The internet knows more about what is going on with my family, than her grandpa does!’ Yes, STRANGERS are watching my children grow up, go to dances, meet boys…and am I a bad parent for that? I never asked my beautiful friend, Lisa if it was okay if her daughter be spotlighted on my blog. I never asked ‘Cita if it was okay if I posted a link to her son’s radio station. These are things I should have done from the start…but I never in a million years would have thought that I would have as many people reading my blog as I do.
Just last night, Shaun said, “Your Flickr site has been viewed over 48 thousand times.”

48 THOUSAND times. I can’t even count that high!

The precautions I take now are telling people when I take their picture and tell them that I will post it on the internet for them to copy it, “I’m going to post this on my Flickr site. My Flickr site is linked to my website. I have ________ readers a day. Is it okay?” They are more curious as to WHAT I write about that would make that many people want to read.
I tell them, “I write about everyday type of things. I write about my anxiety, my life, something funny that happened. What I did that weekend.”
I get that same strange look EVERY SINGLE TIME. I’m waiting for someone to ask, “Are you really THAT interesting that people come to your site everyday to see what you’re doing?”

Then I can say, “not really. It’s the talk about boob hair and the occational porn picture I will post that keep them coming back.”

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16
Mar
SPF: Brought to you by the letter “C”
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: stuff portrait friday

My Couch(s)

Yep, I used this picture before when I showed you how I had finally replaced the ugly yellow and denim couches that were hand me downs we had adopted from TWO different people. Yes, two people we knew had matching couches. They must have been really popular…in the early 90′s.
My Coat(s)

me, RSG & Pissy Britches at BlogThis ’05
Yep, ALL of those coats are mine. I adopted the yellow one in a break up. The purple GAP was adopted from a friend who said she looked horrible in purple. (She didn’t though, she would have looked good in a paper bag) and the Old Navy one was a $4.00 sale jacket. I loves me some Old Navy summer sales!

My Candles

I have candles. Some are in the bathroom. They are just your plain white ones. I have a pumpkin spice on (in the first picture on the table) and some tea lights. I’m not the best candle picker-outer so I don’t buy them very often.

Sorry, my pictures are pretty weak and (used) but it’s been a LONG day and tomorrow we have to take the kids down to see thier mom who hopefully by then will have had her new baby.

DID YOU PLAY!!??

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31
Mar
Boys Suck!
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random

The girls had a 7th/8th grade ‘Theme’ dance. As you might be able to see, it was 80′s themed.

Shaun and I had more fun going to thrift stores looking for 80′s garb, then the girls had at the dance.

Kara insisted that her hair was TOO big. Marina’s hair wasn’t big enough. Somehow by the grace of Uppercase GOD I found blue eyeliner. I was in all my glory putting big curls into a feather that would wrap around and touch in the back. Since they didn’t have bangs, I couldn’t do the camaro bangs look, but I still managed to use a half a bottle of Aqua Net.

They didn’t get the ‘layered socks’ look. I tried to explain to them how important it was that you had to have on at least 2 pairs of socks that matched the outfit. They just laughed and let me giggle as I backcombed hair until it hurt.

Kara went with the Desperately Seeking Susan look and Marina went with the ‘totally for sure!’ Valley Girl look.

After Kara’s outfit was together and she was bitching that her hair was TOO big (which is proof she didn’t grow up in the 80′s because there was NO such thing as ‘too big’) she admired her look in the mirror and her and Shaun at the exact same time belted out, “DON’T YOU FORGET OUT ME! NO NO NO NO!!” (from Breakfast Club)

While I was doing her hair I kept looking at her saying, “Oh. MY GOD. YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME!” Everyone says she looks just like me. I think she looks just like my sister. Tonight…she looked like me. I was certain I was going to have 2 joyful girls come home from the dance telling us stories about how much fun they had.
No such luck. 7th grade egos, destroyed BY BOYS!

Marina’s ‘boy’, told her that he would dance with her…and he didn’t. Kara’s ‘boy’ didn’t either. They danced with other girls. Hearts were broken tonight.

I tried to tell them that Bryce Mahon had done the same thing to me in 8th grade. In 7th grade Matt Chesnut had crushed my heart when he broke up with me to go out with my best friend. My stories of woe didn’t help.

Hopefully spending the night with Chelsea will make everything all better. I know when i’m depressed her mom, My Beautiful friend Lisa always makes me laugh and forget how mad I am.

Or they will probably spend the night leaving nasty messages on the ‘boys’ MySpace and trash talking the girls they danced with.
…13 sucks…and it’s all BOYS faults!

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30
Mar
she is charmed
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: alyx, My Brats

Alyx had this field trip today where you have to dress in all 1800 clothes and bring your lunch in a bucket. I never realized how OCD my daughter was until yesterday, where she not only rode my last nerve, she SNAPPED it, tied it back together and did it again and again for 2 solid days.

Many of you know, Alyx is the angel of the house. BUT it has come to my attention that she might not be as angelic as I had once believed, but that is for another post. THIS post focuses on her ability to drive someone (me) nuts with her calm, adult like tones and annoying reminders.

“Mom. Mrs. Right needs you to email her about the trip. Mom. She also needs you to make sure you wrap everything in wax paper. Mom. I can’t wear tennis shoes, I must have boots. Mom. I can’t have a juice box because…”
“ALYX! OKAY..you have told me ALL of this three times already. CHILL OUT.”

Now at this point most children would either get angry or upset that mom just flipped out on them. My daugher looks me right in the face and continues to nag me in the most adult voice.

“Mrs. Right said that each parent should provide the child with a container to put lunch in. It can’t be paper. It must be tin. She also will not allow me to have water, I have to have lemonaide just like everyone else. Oh, since this is in Auburn and the mold spore count is high, I will need to take a Benedryl before I leave. *cough* I don’t like peanut butter. Mom. Please remember I don’t like Peanut butter. Shea can’t find her underwear. I told her if she put her underwear out the night before, she would be able to find it. Mrs. Right said you have to email her. Did you email her mom?”

I haven’t quite figured Alyx out yet. She’s like an adult caught in a 9 year old body. She is a total prude that always follows by the rules and doesn’t cause anyone trouble.
She’s normally pretty predictable…until her OCD kicks in.

One day when she wasn’t feeling good and was laying in my room she was staring out the sliding glass door from my bed. She started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she pointed out the window.
“I know honey, we have a ugly back yard.”
She then started to freak out. I tried to calm her down and figure out what was wrong. She sobbed, “The curtains are off centered.”
I guess I don’t understand how something so small would set her off, because she’s the messiest kid in the world. She just DOES NOT like things to be uneven.

Yesterday after school she came into my room as I was trying to locate the top of my bathroom counter and bedroom floor. I had turned on the TV and one of the shows I was Tivo’ing was on.
“Mom…what happened to CSI?” She asked.
“I watched them all.”
“Good, I was tired of watching the episode about the plushie and furry convention. That racoon creeped me out. What show is this?”

I know she wouldn’t know what it was and I probably shouldn’t have been so embarrassed, because…well, she is only 9 years old and wouldn’t know that I could be horribly teased for admiting to watching the show…but I still hummed and hawed about telling her.

“It’s uh…Charmed.”
No response.
“You could change it…I don’t…well, I don’t nnnnnneeeeeeeed to watch it. I don’t really know what’s going on anyway. I stopped watching it after the first season..and well, yeah.”

She watched the whole show and then told me that she wants me to save the episodes so she can watch them too. This surprises me. She’s more of a CSI, Law and Order, 60 Minutes type of child.

I had to tell her that one of the sisters had died. I didn’t know WHEN it happened because like I mentioned, I stopped watching after the first season.
“It’s the one that dressed up as a cowboy in the last episode.” I told her.

The one that got kicked off was Pru. ( shannon doherty) Pru is the kick ass demon killer.
Phoebe (Alyssa Malano) is the young fun one that gets in trouble all the time.
Piper (Holly Marie Comes) is the down to earth, reasonable one.

Alyx is just like Piper. She’s so level headed and diplomatic about everything.
After I told Alyx which one died, she was really bummed out.
“It’s okay Aly..at least it wasn’t Piper.”
She then informed me that Piper is boring, she liked Pru the best because she went after the demons while the other ones just helped her.

My daughter, the quiet and shy one…she would be a demon slayer! Her special power would be the power to frustrate the demon into submission by talking to him an adult voice and nagging reminders into him until he exploded!

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28
Mar
I don’t normally do this…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random
I leave the American Idol break down to Cat. Anyone that has ever read her AI weekly updates know that you don’t even have to watch the show to be cracking up after reading her reviews. I normally leave horribly long comments (which as you all are witness to – I’m not very good at), but tonight…I must speak out.

Shaun is the best person to watch this show with. He cracks jokes the whole time and he always says that one of the contestants LOOKS like someone or something.

Bucky was pegged as a Llama after a couple of episodes.
Elliott, he said ‘looks like a goat, no really Kristine, LOOK at him…he is goat like.’

I have a few things that give me the creeps while watching the show and it’s Ace’s crazy eyebrows that look like a caterpillar about to crawl of his forehead is the number one thing.
TAME THE EYEBROW BOY!
(I also need for it to be said, my exboyfriend (God rest his dead body in my backyard) is actual FRIENDS with Ace, grew up with him, IS A FAN and I can’t say anything bad. One thing though…how did I NOT meet Ace when I was in LA? How come I was forced to meet the strange ferret guy?)

Anyway…off we go…
Tonight during the show I realized a few things:
1. How come Tom Cruise hasn’t attacked Paula Abdul for her use of anti-depressants? CLEARLY she is on SOMETHING…and if anyone knows what it is…hook a sista’ up..PLEASE!
2. I agree with Simon Scowl about everything. EVERYTHING. The man is a genius.
3. Chris yelled at us tonight and I am not happy about that. Not one bit at all.
Every week Bucky does this thing that my sister called, “Crouching Llama, Hidden Tiger”. He can’t dance so he crouches. a lot. Tonight he changed it up a little bit and did this strange paralyzed leg drag. Shaun named it the Electric Llama. I think we will see a huge dance movement in the country bars…it will be done by hundreds of drunk women.

Elliot (The Goat) did this bouncing thing. He can’t dance either…and that’s okay…he borrowed the Crouch and put a little spin on it.
Now we have “Bouncing Goat, Electric Llama”
I see a Saturday morning cartoon in our future.

For those of you that caught Mandesa’s version of Mercy Me’s “Shackles” and you have never heard that song before. The song…IS REALLY GOOD. Her version, no so good. Don’t judge the song based solely on that performance. And the jeans. Oh Lord those jeans. I love Mandesa, GOD KNOWS I DO…but if she promises to never wear jeans again, I swear to never wear the John Deere sweatshirt again. Okay? Promise?

For those of that watched for the first time this week because I so nicely reminded you that the show was on. SORRY. BAD WEEK. They would all be going home if I hadn’t voted for Chris once twice three times.
It’s not up yet, but it might be later…but go read Cat’s blog.
(She has a little crush on Ace…cut her a little slack…she likes scraggly haired-crazy eyed guys)

And if you’re bored, Check out Taylor Hicks…before the hair changed to white.

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28
Mar
she was shakin’.
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Random, stuff portrait friday
I’ve been working on some stuff lately. I wish I had like unlimited bandwidth though because I’m running out of places to play. I have already used up the ‘free homespace’ that my cable company gave me. (shoot, I need to pay that bill.) And i’ve gone digging through to find all my old websites I might have laying around.
I realized out of all the FREE blog servers I used, I liked blogsome.com the best. It was from playing around with those sites that allowed me to get brave enough to move into my own domain.

I’m still trying to settle into this place and figure it all out. I have made a few things to make things easier for new people dropping by. Check it! is a rundown on what Random and Odd is. I put up a Bulletin Board to post some important stuff. If you have stuff that you think should go up on the bulletin board, email me and I will toss it up there for you.

April marks the month that my cyber adopted sons, The Ruse, will be in Texas. If you are in Texas and you can leave the house for a couple of hours…go see my boys. You will not regret it. Tell them that MySpace Mom sent you. Get an autograph too…they will be HUGE some day.

It’s Tuesday and you’re all waiting for you SPF assignments…and I have gone through emails and I am trying to find stuff we HAVEN’T done.
It’s going to be weird this week…so just bear with me.

1. Your Washer and Dryer.
2. Your Robe (if you don’t have one of these…wait, how can you live without a robe? NO ONE should ever have to live life without a robe! GO BUY ONE!)
3. A flower (it’s sposta be spring remember?)

Yesterday Shea found some unused tatoos and she asked if she could put one on. I agreed, but it had to be somewhere no one could see it.
She walked up later and pulled up her shirt and there it was. A heart with wings of some sort.
“I couldn’t put it on my butt.” She informed me.
“You couldn’t reach?” I joked. She then drops her pants and says, “Nope, I already have a big butterfly on my butt cheek!”
American Idol is on tonight. Vote for Chris. Vote for Taylor. If you can only vote for one…vote for Chris. He makes my pee-pee tingle.

Kara is home today because she had 3 cavities filled and her face is all numb. I begged her to not put on Full House because I had just eaten and if I had to hear “HOW RUDE.” right after eating there was good chance potato soup was going to fly.
She put on “The Smurfs”. I use to like the Smurfs until after listening to Kara watch the show.
“God, they are SO mean. Greedy Smurf is gaining weight and the other smurfs are picking on him and calling him fat!”
“I think Papa smurf is gay…Vainity is SO gay. Do you think he’s gay?”
“WHY DO THEY KEEP SAYING ‘SMURF’?”
“Mom, why does Gargamel hate the Smurfs?”

I finally snapped.

“I DON’T KNOW KARA! I’LL ASK THE INTERNET!!”

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27
Mar
jump…
Posted By: randomandodd // Category: Anxiety
I don’t normally watch television during the day. It’s not because i’m ‘above’ watching daytime television, it’s mostly because it causes more anxiety than I can handle.

The commercials that start with, “Are you in debt over your head and feel like your drowning in creditor calls? WE CAN HELP!”

Call it denial or avoidance, but I can’t handle listening to these types of commercials. My heart starts to race and every single stupid purchase i’ve made in the past month or two begins to flood over me.
Today I turned on the television so I could erase all the ‘Scrapbooking’ shows I Tivo’ed thinking that MAYBE someday I could actually be a person with enough creative powers to pull one off. I have resolved that I will never be a scrapbooker. I will also not be someone that will be able to build a house with my bare hands so I deleted all the ‘do it yourself’ shows on building and plumbing.

There is this show on some local channel called ‘Starting Over’. It’s about a bunch of women with issues living in a house and working through them. I had caught an episode of it a few years ago when I had lost the remote and was too lazy to change the channel. I hated that show. I wanted to slap all the women and tell them, “THAT IS THE CHOICE YOU MADE!! QUIT COMPLAINING! START LIVING!!”
Today, I left it on for background noise while I surfed the internet in search of a way to avoid actually doing something to better my life.

“It’s NOT the issue. The issue is how you’re going to DEAL with the issue!” the woman on TV preached.

Huh?

I turned around and started watching. This whole show was PACKED full of things these women needed to know to survive in the real world. I didn’t NEED to watch this show because lookie here…real world…me…surviving. Or was I?

The words, ‘Denial’ and ‘Avoiding’ kept popping up and everytime I would hear it, this lump in my throat would just bob up and down.
This woman needed to take responsiblity for the life she had created to be able to fix it. She had to not be afraid anymore.
NOT AFRAID ANYMORE? is that possible? Do people actually get up every day and not have fear standing behind them?

I try not to write too much about it, I try to joke about it in hopes that it will make it better, but the truth is…anxiety eats me up ALL the time. Someone used the term ‘crawling out of my skin with anxiety’. The perfect description for me is more like, ‘Feeling like my heart is going to explode and if I just pull my hair and clench my teeth it will make the ache of this go away.’ My anxiety HURTS. My shoulders feel like I have been carrying a backpack full of bricks. If anyone touches them, It makes me want to hurl because it is like someone is putting salt into a wound.
Xanax isn’t a fix-all for my anxiety. If it were, I would pop those suckers like Tic-Tacs. I am the fix-all for my anxiety. I know this. I’ve read all the self help books. Pretending that I have it all together for awhile seems to work, but like all games…I stop playing and then it comes crashing back…bigger.

How to ‘get it together’ and ‘keep it together’ seems to be the question I keep asking myself.

At the end of the show, the woman that was always afraid was told to jump in the pool. She couldn’t swim, but they were not going to let her drown. It was to show her, ‘get over your fears head on.’ and then ‘move on’. It’s not the ‘issue’ it’s how you DEAL with the ‘issue’. Focus on the dealing with it.

I cried when she finally let go and jumped.

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Random And Odd

Thursday, September 20, 2012

2006: Jan - March

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