2006: October - December

08
Oct
And they became one…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Alisyn’s wedding went great.  The good part about being the photographer is you can take pictures without getting caught up in the whole emotional part of the wedding.  You just  look for the perfect shot, bend and twist to get it and not worry about getting in someone’s way to make sure you get the shot for 3 seconds.
It doesn’t matter who’s wedding it is though, a stranger or Shaun’s sister…I cry during the father/daughter dance every single time.

Shaun and I actually HURT today.  In fact typing is making my arm start twitching.  And to think…I want the D2X camera which is about 30 lbs.

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05
Oct
Labels
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I’ve been putting a lot of though into this weeks SPF:

1. Your Label — If you made clothes, what would your label be? What kind of clothes would you make?
To make it easy for people who don’t want to think it out, you can just find one of your favorite names from a label you already know.



2. YOUR personal Label — We all hate to be labeled, but sadly we are. What is YOUR label? Can you capture it in a picture? Are you just going to write it on a scrap of paper and take a picture of it? Do you have a picture that shows us what it is?



3. Your FAVORITE Label — I like Target clothes cause they are comfortable and they don’t usually have tags in them. Some people love Coach bags (I’m not saying any names, but the brat is in the picture below this post) and some people just like the look of certain label. Show us yours.


I was thinking about all the labels that were SO important to me in High School. Guess? Jeans were the number one, must have jeans! Esprit bags were a MUST. In fact, I loved my Esprit bag so much that I have actually looked on Ebay for one, and I can’t find one. Those things were SO cool. I had a black one.

My mom was pretty good about making sure that I was drowning in labels, but made sure I had a few pairs of pants and shirts that got me through. I think she felt guilty for all those school pictures where I was dressed like an ubber geek in hand me downs and homemade clothes.

I also have been thinking about the labels I have had or the ones that other put on me. I think the worst ones are the ones we put on ourself to fit in.
In 8th grade I was an ‘airhead’. Why in God’s name would I think that would be a good label? Why did I get it? Okay yes, I use to walk around singing the ‘No one can eat just one, Lay’s brand potato chips’ theme song just to annoy people and I since I was a cheerleader I couldn’t just STAND there and talk, I had to be doing the ‘standing there cheering’ thing only annoying cheerleaders did. Okay, I might have been an airhead.

I have many labels now. Mom, friend, dork, ex-wife, wife, honey bunches of oats. Oh wait, that’s Shaun’s label.

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04
Oct
Blogging Saint?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Dear Heavens NO, i’m no blogging saint.

I share a lot of my anxiety issues, even though I have a couple posts sitting in my folder just waiting to be posted, but then after I read them I think, “What a bummer, It makes me sound like my life just sucks and it doesn’t really suck. The parts that suck is the part where I can’t control the ‘fight or flight’ issues my body has”.

The stuff I don’t blog about has to do with people in my life that I refuse to write about because of the drama that would follow if I even hinted that I had any problems what so ever. It’s just better for me to just stand back and let those people go about their lives and hopefully I don’t get caught in the crossfire.  Who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter…i’m going to get nailed in the head with the crossfire and then somehow get blamed for it.

Many of the reasons you don’t ‘let it all out’ on your blog are all the same reasons I don’t.  I can’t sit here and complain about Shaun. You know, like the fact that he doesn’t take out the trash in the bedroom and bathroom when it’s full. How sometimes he pisses me off and I want to bash him the back of the head with a large blunt object.  He reads this. He will then respond with ‘big rolling eyes’ and then complain about how I couldn’t get around the kitchen if I had a map.
That’s not the problem though.  It’s just the whole being a step mom thing and the frustrations that come with it.
Whenever you’re with someone that has been married that have kids, you’re now involved in a relationship with that person to.  Sometimes the relationship is good. Sometimes it’s not so good.  Sometimes you THINK it’s good and then you find out that you thought that person liked you and that’s not really the case at all.

Now, Dan…my ex. How frustrating is THAT?  I would kill me if I were Shaun.  Dan and I get along so well.  I can hang out with him and I can also tell him, “Why are you still sitting in my house? Go home!”  He just laughs at me and knows I love him. Shaun and I don’t have to tip toe around Dan because he’s full active his kids lives and he knows that no matter how funny, nice, supportive and a role model he is to my brats, he’s not their dad.
I’m also a friggin’ hypocrite.  I love the relationship that I have with my ex, but i’m uncomfortable with the relationship that Shaun has with his.   See, even writing that is going to land my ass in so much hot water that I am going to have to deal with that for months.  I like the relationship we all have together and I don’t want to give that up.

Blogging Saint? I think not. Human? yes.

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03
Oct
frankly…i can’t even talk.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


In the blogging world we are faced with people in ‘real life’ run across our blogs and we are confronted with either keeping our blogs going or just shutting them down.

I’ve been blogging/writing/scribbling my thoughts in notepads since as long as I can remember. I always knew my sister was reading my diaries. I always knew my mom was reading my notes.  The two strong women in my life made it clear that nothing was getting past them.  I even tried to write in code and they always broke those codes and would confront me.  My mom’s theory was always, “I knew if I gave you enough rope, you’d hang yourself.”  and when I was dangling in front of her she was always give me the, ‘told you so’ eyebrow.

I’ve been confronted more times than I can count about my blog.  Each time I either stand my ground or tweek a little bit how I put my words out there.  About once a year I say, “ENOUGH!” and I decide that I am tired of tip toeing around certain words and certain subjects and I swear that I am going to RECLAIM MY BLOG.  That usually last for about 2 posts and then I am back to the blah.

I thought about opening another blog under a secret name so I could cuss, scream and pull out my hair and talk about all the things I don’t here.  There is a reason I don’t talk about things here.  I can’t.  I have to be the ‘bigger person’ ALL THE TIME.  I mean, it doesn’t take too much to be the bigger person. All I have to do is not open my mouth and just laugh when confronted with certain things.

But you know, sometimes I would really like to just go the hell off…not be the ‘bigger person’, just let it out so you can all see how REAL I am.

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02
Oct
ROTFLMAO
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


This is my “MySpace Face” picture. You can’t see me flashing my peace sign though.

When Mom and Sister were here we started talking about ‘slang’ and things we use to say or ‘old sayings’. Many of these things are SO politically incorrect that after we would say them we would groan.
My sister, Dashababy, wrote a post and she said, ‘He wouldn’t piss on me if I were on fire.’
It reminded me how much I love her and of all the sayings from the weekend that got us giggling.

You got any of those? No worries about being politically correct here, you CAN NOT beat the stuff that came out of my mother’s mouth.

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01
Oct
*giggle*
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Poor, Poor little Zebra.

So guess what? I was watching VH1classic during the Monster Rock and I was inspired by Marilyn Manson for SPF this week and thought I would give you a couple more days to think this one out…and a couple of days for you to soak in the fact that Kristine, from Random and Odd was inspired by Marilyn Manson.

1. Your Label — If you made clothes, what would your label be?  What kind of clothes would you make?
To make it easy for people who don’t want to think it out, you can just find one of your favorite names from a label you already know.

2. YOUR personal Label — We all hate to be labeled, but sadly we are.  What is YOUR label? Can you capture it in a picture? Are you just going to write it on a scrap of paper and take a picture of it? Do you have a picture that shows us what it is?

3. Your FAVORITE Label — I like Target clothes cause they are comfortable and they don’t usually have tags in them. Some people love Coach bags (I’m not saying any names, but the brat is in the picture below this post) and some people just like the look of certain label. Show us yours.

You ready for this Friday? I am READY for another weekend. Can someone please rewind this last weekend so I can manage to find a few more hours of sleep.
I wore a pair of Jammie bottoms and it cut off the blood circulation in my leg and I had nightmares all night.  I’m pretty sure it was the jammie bottoms…that is what I am sticking with.  It might have been the bacon and cheddar wedges I ate right before I went to bed.  No, it was the jammies.

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17
Oct
Can I catch a break? just a little one. Okay, how about I give you one?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
SPF this week is going to be super easy and…well, Random.

1. The Kitchen Sink
2. Something you need to fix.
3. Something you’re going to throw away right after you take the picture of it.

How about that for easy?

Who’s playing this week!?

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17
Oct
Vibes and Prayers…NEEDED.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
No details yet, just thought I would get a head start on the prayers.

I’m on my way to the ER with Kara.

She is seeing ‘blood’ in her eye, but we can’t see anything. I thought she was just coming up with something to get out of a book report, but when she described what she was seeing to the nurse…the nurse told me to get her to the ER within the next half hour.

She’s getting dressed and I’m pretending not to freak out so I don’t freak her out. I’m freakin.
Please hope it’s just…like…a stress related brain fart. That’s a medical term right?

**Update**
THANK YOU!  They were worried it was something in the back of her retna that burst.  They numbed her eyeballs, poked around, and then dialated her eyes and shined all kinds of lights and prisms in there.   Kara said it was like a  neon disco in her eyes.
It was an optimosomethingorother migraine.  Nothing can be done to fix it. She will see ‘blood’ or ‘pink tint’ when she gets those and it will last about 30 minutes and then go away.  The doctor said it was probably an all day one, which happen sometimes.

THANK YOU for the vibes and prayers.

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16
Oct
Wog is Married.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


My nephew, who for the life of me I can’t look at him and not see that 4 year old boy riding his bike off the porch or down the steps, got married this weekend.

I was about 8 years old when Paul was born.  He was more like my brother than my nephew. He annoyed the hell out of me and the term “I would rather drink Liquid Drano than…” came into play.  I would rather drink Liquid Drano then to have anything to do with him.  He was a boy and he always wanted to be right in the middle of my stuff.  If I had a friend over he was right there in the corner trying to figure out where he fit into the picture and wonder what his odds were of us letting him play Barbies or stuffed animals too.

As he got older and ‘cooler’, we allowed him to hang out with us. That might not have been the best thing. I think I ruined him and I have so many regrets when it comes to letting that little kid hang with us teenagers.  He would probably be a rocket scientist if he hadn’t seen his role model try to smoke pot out of a toilet roll.  I blame myself for the fact that he even smokes Marlboros.  I swear I had not part in that, but he saw me do it and that’s not a good thing.
This is why teenagers probably shouldn’t have children.  Just an observation.

When he was a teenager I was already married and living in Sacramento.  He grew up with only seeing him on holidays.  Every time I would see him, I would still see the little skater boy who would laugh and smile as he rolled down the hills on his board and tease me and my boyfriend if he caught us kissing.  He never really grew up to me.

The last few times I had seen him, he was just real quiet and I was almost a little afraid he hated me for something.

This weekend I went to Reno to take pictures of his wedding.  I didn’t expect to be able to spend much time with him because I knew his friends would be there and that weddings are always just so second by second.
The first day I got to hang out with him and his friends, who were totally cool and just adored him.  It’s cool to have friends who think you are just totally the coolest guy ever.
I kept reminding myself, ‘He’s 26 years old, he is NOT 10 years old anymore.’

On the morning of his wedding I was told he was upstairs getting ready.  Normally Shaun would take those pictures, but when I heard he was alone I said I would go up there. I was eager to be able to spend a few minutes alone with him.

When I got up there, I could tell it wasn’t just the nasty hangover that was causing him to pace and drink more water than my mother.
We got to talk.  He was scared to death.  He was worried about every single detail of what was going to transpire.  His biggest concern was his dad.  His dad and my sister haven’t really had the best of relationships since he … yeah, I won’t go into what a jerk he was…needless to say, he’s not the nicest guy in the world and I think he might be a bit resentful that my sister is so damn hot and he looks like an old Billy Crystal on crack.
I got a good 45 minutes of hanging out with him and talking and doing my best to calm him down. He was chanting, “MAN, OH MAN!” He was non-stop chattering.  I just sat and listened to him.  I watched him sweat, pace and chant over and over.  Then I got to see the most awesome thing in the world.  He put on his freshly ironed shirt and put on a tie and transformed from that little boy into the man he was.  He awkwardly put on his jacket and giggled because he had no idea what he was doing.  He looked at himself in the mirror and he could see it too. He managed to pull it all together and got more in control of himself.

I couldn’t believe it.  Little Pauly Wog was standing in there wearing a suit with a pink tie.  I told him, “I would haven’t have guessed in a million years that you would pick a pink tie to wear.”  He giggled again and said that is why he picked it. He wanted to shock everyone.  He is still just a little boy!

During the wedding I started crying.  Probably not the best thing to have one of your two photographers crying. There was no helping it though, that little boy was all growed up marrying his high school sweetheart with a baby on a way.

After the wedding I got more moments with him as we did his pictures.  Paul did something I never thought he would do, he smiled THE WHOLE TIME.  In every single picture!  He smiled.  It wasn’t that fake smile either, it was a REAL smile.

The pictures need a lot of work and it’s going to be a process of going through all them and fixing them to our standards. You’ll be seeing his wedding pictures slowly be added to my Flickr site everyday instead of just getting a hundred pictures in one shot.  I get to go through all of them slowly and enjoy each moment again.  I get to remember the fun we all had this last weekend and remember all the times growing up with him.  It’s all there in his smile.

MAN, OH MAN!

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14
Oct
RENO ROCKS!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Just what I needed.
Shaun has pictures of me in a hot tub with bubbles!!

Yes, life is sooooo good right now.  Sex on the beach, 2 Jim Beam and cokes. Yeah. LIFE IS GOOD.

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12
Oct
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Shaun here.  Kristine is a little under the weather, so I’m filling in.  Sorry, not too entertaining this week.

My Season Changing…….

We can put away the tank tops and flip flops, and break out the sweaters!!  Nothing says changing of the seasons like changing of the clothing.  You’d think the laundry level would improve, but it really just means more flannel and less t-shirts.

Beauty of Where I Call Home….



This is one of my favorite pictures.  When Kristine’s not beating the children, she actually likes them.  It’s true.  Seriously.

My Favorite Part of the Weather Changing….



The month of October for Kristine means she’ll be excited about one thing: Caramel apples at the Pumpkin Patch.  Pumpkins and ferris wheels and foods on a stick.

Did you play?

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11
Oct
I wish…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Comment Section Wish List…

Body: Okay, here’s the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (”I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part: Your wish is messed up!

Example:

Hemlock—I wish I had a million dollars.

MrsDoF—Granted, but you owe 2 million in back taxes. I wish I had a new puppy.
Kami—Granted, but it chews up all your shoes. I wish I had a new car…
It’s fun, it will keep you all busy for awhile. I will start it off because I had a big wish today.

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11
Oct
Need your SPF fix?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
You thought I forgot? I did. Kinda. You think i’m going to make it hard for you?  Nawww…

I took the dog for a walk last night and realized as much as I love Spring, I do love fall. The leaves are falling and blowing around and they are such a beautiful color.    I had a reader send me a picture of the beauty of her country and where she lives and I got to see what she sees and it was a reminder of the best SPF’s we’ve had. The ones where we shared the beauty of where we live.

1. Show me your season changing.
2. Show me the beauty of where you call home.
3. Your favorite part of the weather changing.

See, it’s an easy one.  I can’t wait to see what your ‘fall’ looks like.

On Friday I will be leaving for RENO!! My sister’s son is getting married!!

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10
Oct
And thank you…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I want to write this whole post in bold and in caps with a million exclamation points so you understand how important words are to me.
Each one of you with your words have made me re-re think my choice.  I will be going to the classes.  It’s a six week program through Kaiser, who I had given a horrible rap in the past because of the ‘cattle call’ way of treating people.  I groaned when I found out we had Kaiser, but beggars can’t be choosers.

My doctor is one bad mamma jamma though.  He emailed me to check on me several times. He made sure I had a doctor that would point me in the direction that i needed to go.
I take back all the bad stuff I ever said about Kaiser.

The first thing I am learning is how to bring things together and the guilt I feel for things undone.

I owe the internet at least 400 posts and I don’t know where to begin and I forget until someone says something.

1. Charlotte and Sue sent us baseball stuff and we are passing it on to Shaun’s father and he is thrilled to death.
2. Michelle sent me Vegemite and Tim Tams that I can’t find the email to the proper way of eating them, but I am going to post ME eating the most discusting thing outside  of raw fish and fish eggs.
3. The Hope Doll.  I don’t know where to begin. I have this doll that was sposta help my mother, but in the long run has helped me more than the blogger that sent it to me will ever know. IF she even still reads me out of hatred for not mentioning it.
4. My mother’s trip to Maui that has been delayed, but will happen.
5. A box of cookies that were peanut butter and had a peanut butter cup in the middle of them and Shaun still wakes up in the middle of the night crying for those damn cookies.
6. I was sposta post about needing help from someone.
7. Damn blog frog number 2 (first one got lost in customs) is sitting in the corner flipping me the bird because he wants to be sent out.
8. Lawbrat…I love you. I have that package I didn’t send yet, I think. I might have.
9. Damn. So many people I am forgetting. I forgot you huh?

I can’t clear out the cobwebs of anxiety until I acknowledge all the stuff I have been pushing on the backburner.

Did I forget you…go ahead and be blunt. I suck…but i’m learning. TELL ME. I need to hear it.  You all need to hear the stuff I have been avoiding because it overloaded and I had to find a place to hide it.

And again, for everyone that voiced thier opinion on my special specialist and being honest with me, THANK YOU. You’re right, I need to go and do this.

All my love,
Kristine

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10
Oct
Buy me a drink, sing me a song, Take me as I come cause I cant stay long
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Anxiety, Random


I saw the special specialist.
The special specialist has never in his life had a panic attack.
It was clear as we were sitting there talking about the symptoms of a true PANIC attack (not just an anxiety attack) and he had NO idea what this lady was talking about when she said, “It’s like a surging through your body.”
He looked at her like she was crazy and then about 10 of us started explaining what she was talking about and she turned around and looked at us with such relief that we understood what she was going through and that we had the same thing.
She also talked about the physical pain of anxiety and he said, “Yeah, it’s normal for you to feel some pain in your chest.”
No. It’s not just your chest, it’s your whole body. Somewhere in the middle of a panic attack you’re rolled up in a ball in physical pain.
I remember sitting on the couch while Shaun held me in his arms and I admitted to him in between sobbing, “I hurt.”
That was a hard thing for me to admit. I didn’t want what was going on in my head to be something that caused me pain because that would mean I wasn’t as strong as I should be and I wasn’t strong enough to handle it. “I hurt.” were words that released me from holding EVERYTHING else in. If I could admit I was in physical pain for something that I had going on in my head, then I could tell him everything and hope he wouldn’t wrap me in a blanket and drag me to the hospital.

This woman admitting in front of a whole class that the physical pain was too much to handle was a huge thing for me. The fact that the teacher didn’t understand how much pain comes along with panic and anxiety disorders was kinda scary.
I wanted to believe that he had been there and understood where all us ‘crazies’ were coming from. He did say we aren’t crazy. He’s never seen us in the middle of one of these attacks and i’m pretty sure if he ever saw me as a passenger in a car he would admit we were a little bit crazy.

My friend, ‘Cita came with me to the class and she said she was about to have an anxiety attack by end of the class.

I signed up for the 6 week class, but the more that I have been thinking about it, the more I feel like I need to have faith in the person teaching the class and I don’t think the guy had a single clue. Sure, he has facts and knows special breathing techniques, but unless he’s been ‘there’, he just can’t understand.

Sympathize, but not understand.

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09
Oct
Pilots of the Caribbean
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Here’s a sneak peek of Shaun’s Halloween costume. Tyler will have a similar one. Garrrrrr….



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26
Oct
Stuff Portrait Friday: Even easier than last week!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


1. Your Pot Holders (Oven Mits)
2. Your Pumpkins (or Melons)
3. Something Pink

Y’all start without me, I have to wait until Friday afternoon to post my pictures because I am a big ol’ lazy ass and didn’t do it yet.

Whatever. Get off my case internet, I’M LAZY! You knew that when you met me. You said you didn’t care, that you would love me anyway. Now look at you…you’re staring at me like I left you with a bad case of blue balls. I didn’t mean to. I wanted to, but…my heart wasn’t in it and I know you don’t want me give it up if I’m not in the mood. It’ll feel mechanical. After you’re done and you click the next link you know I’m just going to lay here and weep softly to myself.

*Whimper*

Did you put out?

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26
Oct
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


It’s one of those days where I just want to write, ‘BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’ and be done with it.

So, there you go. Thursday’s post.  Blahhhhhh.

You know the “I wish” comment section thing I do sometimes?  How about “I need to”…just leave a comment with something you need to do that makes you just say, Blah.

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25
Oct
Horse Pills — UPDATED!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Kara and Marina are both home sick today.

Last night Kara came in complaining of a tummy ache and I told her to go take some tums. She must have been really feeling like hell because she made it to the couch and just decided to get a better reaction if she moaned and cried loudly.

I sat on the couch with her and asked her if she took the Tums and she said no. I went in and got her two and put one in her mouth. Her eyes got all big and I told her “just chew them up.”
She went through the whole ‘gagging’ process and begging for water.

After she had managed to gag through two Tums and drank a bunch of water to get the chalk out of her mouth, I asked her, “Kara, you act like you’ve never had a Tums before.”

She then tells me, “Well, I didn’t normally chew them up.”

The horror of all the times she had taken a Tums for a tummy ache came to mind, “You what? you just swallowed them?”

With a pained look on her face she said, “Yeah, it hurt a little, but it wasn’t so bad.”

I went and told Shaun and showed him the size of the big ass Tums. “Shaun, I am thee worst parent EVER! I never told her to chew them up!!”

“Normally I would disagree about you being the worst parent…” and then he looked at the Tums and giggled. “Yeah, gotta agree with you on that one.”

Sorry Kara. Mommy sucks.

****UPDATED*****

I called Shaun to have him pick up some of the chewable Rolaids. When he brought it home I took it to Kara and unwrapped it.
“This is the kind you chew, but it’s not like the other kind. It’s not all chalky and hard.”
“It smells funny, smell it.” She shoves it back at me.
“It smells like Bubble Gum! Just chew on it.”
She puts it in her mouth and is a bit leary and doing the whole ‘gaggy’ face.

Satisfied I had redeemed myself I went into the kitchen and about 5 minutes later I hear Kara yell out, “Am I sposta swallow this?”

I just about died.  Shaun yelled, “Yes, Kara! It’s like a Starburst. You just chew on it and swallow it.”

I threw my hands up, “YES! Like a Starburst, not like gum. I should have said that!”

Shaun just laughed at me.

Whatever, She’s the bright child that swallowed a huge Tums and then the next day wouldn’t swallow the chewable kind I gave her.   SHUT UP MOTHER.  I swear I can hear my mother saying something about an apple not falling far from the tree.

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24
Oct
not admitting that I like the Raiders or anything…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


The first picture is of me wearing my kicker’s jersey for my favorite team.  This was the picture that won Shaun’s heart. How could you not fall madly in love with a woman that will wear the kicker’s jersey? This picture was taken a cabitzrillion years ago when I use to have a waist line, but hid it. Dumb ass.
The other one is of Marina wearing the shirt today for Jersey Day.

*smile*

She could be my very own…except she looked better in it.

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24
Oct
SPF: Hold them, Squeeze them, love them!!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Since it’s National Breast Cancer awareness month and I have done nothing but fondle my own, I figure I should do something to honor the girls.  YET, in a differen’t way…of course.

1. Your Pot Holders (Oven Mits)

2. Your Pumpkins (or Melons)
3. Something Pink

See, I told you it would be easy!  Who knows what next Thursday holds for me, that’s why!  If I was hurling last Thursday night, there is a good chance I might be flopping on the ground yanking my hair out.

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23
Oct
yep, it’s official. I am my mother.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random, The Fonz
Kara: “Mom, I want to make cookies.”
Me: “*sigh* just come lay down with me for a few minutes.”
Kara: “no, I wanna make cookies”
(Which means, I have to drive her to get the stuff and MAKE the damn cookies)
Me:  “Come on, Bear…come cuddle wif your momma.”
Kara: “*giggle* No, I know If I get in bed with you I won’t want to get up.”
Me:  *Silent*
Kara: “No.”
Me:  *Silent and doing the puppy dog eyes while doing the cute cuddle under the covers look*
Kara: “Mooooooommmm, nooooo. I won’t get up!”
Me:  (this is the moment I turn into my mother)  “If you loved me, you would come cuddle.”
Kara: “I do love you….”
Me: (The clencher that I am officially my mother) “No, you don’t…you don’t love me..if you loved me…”

It would have been TOTALLY official if she hadn’t walked down the hall before I forgot the closer that ALWAYS worked for me when I was a kid.  “I’m going to be dead someday and you will have wished you had cuddled with me!!”

The Fonz has cast an evil curse.

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23
Oct
LONGEST WEEKEND EVER…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I took photos all weekend.  This one, This one, and this one.

I’m so tired.  Each photoshoot is over 300 pictures to go through and post process. At least 2 hours of shooting time and and 2 coffees just to get me there.  The pictures that are up are only a tiny fraction of what we give the people.
Now today, I get to find the bottom of my closet and figure out out how to twinkle my nose and fix all the broken shhhh–tuff around my house.

Why don’t we all get twinkle noses that make everything all better? Why do the kids not have mute buttons?  What part of NOW do they not understand?
Dear God, when they all start their damn periods, I am moving in with my mom and sister.

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20
Oct
“HA HA HA! You’re such a loser!”
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I got an email from a company wanting to use one of my pictures for a news story they were doing.

It looked all offficial and I opened the page it was a REAL web page, not some freaky-deaky weird stuff going on. It’s a website that people actually read and it has to do with my favoritest thing in the world. NEWS!

They wanted to use this picture they are doing on an invisible cloak they are trying to make at Duke University. I threw my arms in the air as if I had just won two tickets to a Greenday concert. “YES!! FINALLY!!!”
Shaun asked me what I was so excited about and I told him that someone wanted to use my pictures for a news story they were doing.  I logged in to see which picture she wanted to use, excited and thrilled to see which one someone would be posting on their super official looking website.  Which picture was the one that caught her eye?  Which one??

THIS ONE.
It was taken by Shea.

I’m a loser.

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20
Oct
SPF: hurling Friday
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I made it easy for you guys this week, next week will actually be easier. I’m hopefully going to be able to comment on all your pages because ONCE again, I am sick. EVERY Thursday I seem to get sick, but right now it’s ‘barfing’ sick. Migraine sick. Shaky sick. Hope Shaun reads this and stays home sick. Wish someone would shoot me in the head sick.

On to the pictures:

The Kitchen Sink:



You didn’t think I was going to do the dishes before you stopped by did ya?

Something I am going to throw away after I take the picture:





I didn’t though because I didn’t make this mess. Marina did.

Something I need to fix:


My dad, me and my beautiful mom-The Fonz

I guess all this talk about real-step parents and the WONDERFUL quote by Jbo about what is real that got me to thinking about this THING I have with my dad. I love him, I really do…but he’s pissing me off. It seems like he can’t spend more than an hour at any family function. I filled out a stupid survey about random things and one of the questions was “Someone in your life that let you down and disappointed you.” I didn’t even think for a second on who that would be. It’s my dad. As a little girl my dad was my hero. I did everything to impress him. Even though he was the biggest drunk, the most Un-PC person you would ever know, and an all around jerk sometimes…I loved him all the way to the stars and back. He was the man of my dreams. I wanted to marry someone just like him.
Lucky me. I did. I then divorced him. Then my mom divorced my dad. Thank God for both. We are better women without them.

My relationship with Shaun’s dad is what I wish I had with my dad. When Shaun’s dad sees me, he just lights up. He makes an effort to always hug me and I never once feel weird about finding myself snuggled up to his side if we are on the couch our just standing around. He tells me he loves me all the time. When we are the phone we talk for hours. He has been there for Shaun and I from day one. He doesn’t expect a single thing from me, but is openly proud of me without me having to do a damn thing. He called me his daughter the other day and the smile on his face and that look of pride in his eyes when he said it made me feel so much love.


Me and Shaun’s Dad
Why don’t I have this with my dad? I’m going to fix that. I know I don’t have that many years to get that dad I know I can have back.

Alright, I need to go throw up again. ( I threw up in public today, it was so embarrassing!)
Did you play?

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19
Oct
Wah-Mah
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Finding my place in the blog world has always been this back and forth thing.  I want to be funny, I want to be honest, I want to connect…blah blah blah.

I got an email the other day and finally found out where I fit into this place.  It’s strange how I can write everyday about the stupidest of things, my dorky kids, my neighbors that by the grace of God will someday move far away (and then Matthew McConnahay will move in and play the bongo in the nude in the front window), my ex husband, my relationship with Shaun and just everything that seems to trigger me to write. (Sidenote: my stomache just made the wierdest sound I’ve ever heard!!)

This email revolved around the relationship I have with my step son, Ryan.  I have never wanted to respond to an email more in my life.  (Well, except that one I got from the Montel Show)
I  call myself “The Crash Test Dummy” because if there is a wall, I have hit it and everyone knows, “You can learn a lot from a dummy.”

During the email I wanted to reach out and hug this person and just let her know that everything was going to be okay. I wanted her to know that she’s not alone in this battle of being a step parent.  If you’re a step parent you know that the things that you say will somehow get back to the “REAL” mom or dad and all hell will break lose.  It’s not easy to have all these thoughts/emotions and not being able to say what you’re going through.  You have to be strong for your husband or wife that is dealing with the “REAL” parent.  You have to have all this bottled up and not just scream at the top of your lungs about how your feeling because if you do, you are now labeled as the ‘crazy step mom/dad’.

I have spent the last 16 years of my life being a step parent. I have been labeled as the woman that ruined my step son’s life. I have been told to my face that if I wasn’t around than my step son would have had a daddy.
More recently I had to find my place into a new step situation.  Shaun’s ex had a similar situation that I had so both of us went into this hoping that it wasn’t going to be ugly and that we could get along.  It doesn’t matter how much we wanted to get along and do what was right for the kids, the baggage we both carried from our pasts reared it’s ugly head and we had our issues.  I’m not saying everything is peaches and cream now, we will probably butt heads again a few more times in the future…but right now it’s okay and I love ‘okay’.  I think we have both found a respect in each other and no matter if we disagree, we have a respect that seems to come up and it makes it easier for us to get through it.

Being a step parent is hard. Having a relationship with your ex is not always easy and sometimes nearly impossible. There are just some situations that it won’t be able to happen because the other person is just a complete moron…or you’re the moron…it doesn’t matter really which one is the hard headed mule, it’s just not going to happen.

It seems that the one thing I get more emails and phone calls about is ‘dealing with your ex’ or being a ‘step mom’.  You guys think I am doing a pretty good job.
I’m trying, but honestly…I am not that great at it. I still get my feelings hurt when I hear mean things about something I did. I still worry 24/7 that something I say or do for either of the kids will get to the other parent and it will be taken the wrong way and I will be labeled again.  I’m sad that I can’t buy anything for Ryan without having to put it under someone else’s name so his mother doesn’t get mad and take it out on him.  I’m afraid i’m doing too much or not enough.  I worry about it a lot actually.

Being a step parent is a hard thing. It’s a pretty thankless job. Most of the time you’re the ‘bad’ guy when you’re a step parent from the “REAL” parent and sometimes from the kids and if you’re REALLY lucky, the in-laws on either side.

I wouldn’t give any of my step kids up for anything and when I say I have 5 kids, I mean it.  When I call Ryan my step son (even though I haven’t been his step mom for the last 7 years) I mean it.   I love them because they are kids.  It’s not thier fault that it didn’t work out, it’s not thier fault that they are being ‘brainwashed’ by either parent, it’s not thier fault…at all.  Someday EVERYTHING will come out in the wash and when it does, I know that I will be seen for the person I really am.

I’m okay with that.

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02
Nov
No Cheating
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Yeah, i’m avoiding something. Shut up.

Click Here

Why? because I said so.

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02
Nov
pray pray pray pray!!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Some of you will remember when I was able to search for a missing woman before winter snow made it impossible to search the areas any longer.

The trial for this case has started and it’s not looking good without a body. I don’t want to say any names as I don’t want certain people to be able to google search and find me linked to it in anyway, because HE scares the hell out of me.

The defense of this person that totally did it (screw that innocent until proven guilty crap) has hired Blasier who has worked on several high-profile murder cases including the O.J. Simpson case. Yeah, the guy who got all that stuff thrown out of the court in the O.J. case is on the defense team for this guy.

I’m asking you all to read up here and pray for the family of the missing woman and the court hearings. Please pray the jury will see what really happened and find him guilty.

HOPE. I’m still holding on to it, but i’m afraid i’m going to end up crying after this case is over because just like in the O.J. case, justice was not served. In my humble opinion.

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02
Nov
Blog This 2007
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Shaun said my toes are so long I could braid hair with it.

I got a message from Pissy Britches about Blog This 2007.  She said, (and i’m telling you all this so it will hold her to it) that she’s going to be here SPRING of 2007.  Shellibells is going to be coming too.

This is exactly what I needed to hear.   My sister pointed out that we (me, her and mom) seem to function better when we have something fun to look forward to.  We had so much fun during Blog This 2005 that we decided we would do it every year! Blog This 2006 was going to be put on hold because Shaun decided he was tired of getting the milk for free and it was time to buy this damn cow.

Blog This 2007 will have to make up for last year, so TWO YEARS worth of fun crammed into one visit? OH.MY.GOD.

Spring 2007 – Sacramento, California- BLOG THIS!  Soooooo….who’s coming? You know you wanna.

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01
Nov
SCORE!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


After the final count, we had 16 people in my house last night after the trick or treating.  My house was like the stock market of chocolate.  The yelling, hand waving and screaming ‘mine!’ was crazy.  All that was just me, now add 15 more people doing the same thing.

I made sure I got no more than a small ziplock bag to stash away and splurge ever so often.  Yeah, whatever. I ate half the bag today. I feel so sick.

Why am I always tempted with Rolos? WHY must I eat ALL the Rolos instead of just 3?

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01
Nov
SPF: Easy…SOOO easy.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I’m feeling Lazy…SOOO lazy.

Next week is a thinking game, but for this Friday…just SUPER easy.
1. The Good
2. The Bad
3. The Ugly

Go grab your cameras!  Get it done early, don’t follow your fearless leader who waits until the last moment and then you get lame pictures instead of thought out ones.
Halloween was EASY this year. I got to be the shuttle driver and didn’t have to walk in the cold from house to house.  How the hell I hurt my foot, I don’t know.

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31
Oct
Halloween=Pain In The Arse!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Every year it gets more stressful and less fun.

What do we do this for again?  Oh yes…the chocolate.   I swear, I am going to be egging the houses that don’t answer the door or hand out that orange and black candy that is wrapped in that creepy feeling wax paper from the 20′s.

I want full size candy bars for the effort I have put in!  I want the foot long Pixie Stix.  And booze. Can someone PLEASE for once have a cooler of beer and wine coolers for the parents?  Maybe a little mixer bowl of prescription drugs for us to pick from?

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30
Oct
365 of ME? no. friggin. way.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I keep seeing people doing the 365 day set of pictures and I cringe because I am NOT that brave.  Take a picture of me EVERY SINGLE DAY? you’ve gotta be shittin’ me? I certainly don’t want to see that. OTHERS certainly don’t want to see that.  Yet, I keep finding myself drawn the beauty of people that are doing this and waiting a week and looking at their pictures makes me smile.  It’s a connection to other human beings and it’s touchable…and it makes me smile.

I’m going to do it.

Shut up! I know.  This isn’t vainity. I have no ego to speak of. I don’t think i’m ‘all that’.  Well, I look like I ate ALL THAT, but that’s a diffent post.

I love October. I love the time change. I love this time of complete chaos when you don’t know time it is and when you’re suddenly tired at 8pm instead of 10.  This a time of starting new thing and doing new stuff.

I’m starting my 365 days of Me tomorrow. Halloween. A day of being someone you’re not.  A time of not being scared of the scary as it walks down the street and knocks on your door.

You already on the 365 day of Me boat?   You wanna join me?  COME ON…I don’t want to this alone.    I’m going to convince Kathy and Mom to do it….did you hear that Kath?  1 picture of yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY for ONE YEAR.

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30
Oct
Happy Halloween-Eve…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


This is my Auntie Joanne. I can describe her with one word and you will know why she is the best Auntie.  LUCY.  Hanging out with Auntie Joanne was like watching an episode of “I Love Lucy”.  She hasn’t changed through the years either.

This weekend she said; “I don’t drive anymore, I hit keep hitting people.  I want a race car.”  “I don’t know my phone number. Well, I know the first three numbers. I coudn’t tell you my address either.”  “The neighbor ran over his mother in the yard. Silly boy didn’t even see her laying on the ground before he ran over her.”

You can also get her to do anything. I told her to go over to the statue and cuddle up with him so I could get a picture.  This is the woman who took off her shirt and climbed into a empty hot tub so it would look like she was in the tub, she’s funny like that.  She will squeal to her husband, Uncle Fritz; “LOOK AT ME!! I’m in the TUB!!”  He just rolls his eyes.  (much like Shaun does when I do something stupid like that too.)
When she walked over to the guy, she walked over to him and was doing this whole seduction scene. “Hello there handsome…”  It must have worked because he got ‘turned on’ and his eyes glowed red and his hands and head started moving.  She screamed and HOPPED over to me. I happened to get the picture!

Now I gear up for our Halloween.   Dan just carved all the melons and we will put them out tonight.  The kids have their costumes. Shaun and Tyler have finished making their costume. I can’t wait to get THAT picture.

Does anyone have pictures of your Halloween costumes up? Send me the link.   I am going to stretch this year and go as a Blogger with a camera.  It’s a crazy costume, I know.

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29
Oct
Ehem…let me draw your attention to a few things.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Let’s start with, MY BOYS WON TODAY!  Let’s also go over and read all the wonderful things that Southern Fried Girl has to say about how wonderful my boys are, because we decided we should make a little side bet.  It went something like this:
“Shaun, SFG wants to make a bet on Raider game.  Do you think the Raiders will beat the Steelers?”
*Frown from Shaun* “Ugh. Tough call.  Big Ben probably won’t play, so there is a good chance.”
“Can I talk smack?”
*Bigger Frown*  “I wouldn’t push it.”

Before the game started Southern Fried sent me an email saying that if her team wins I have to make a long ass post on how The Steelers rocks my socks and visa versa.  I took the bet knowing I could write a few paragraphs on the good looks of Big Ben and also how good they use to be in the past…blah blah blah.  It was going to be harder for her to swallow the big pill of talking about how wonderful the Raiders are…because you either love them or you hate them…and she doesn’t love them.

You can all go over there and talk some smack if you want to…she deserves it. Her QB threw something like 4 interceptions…I quit counting after the ONE HUNDRED YARD PICK OFF AND TOUCHDOWN….GO RAIDER NATION!
I’m hoping my sister writes the post of our wonderful experience in San Leandro this weekend, because I don’t want to talk about it anymore.  It’s starting to gross me out because everyone we tell the story to, asks the same question; “Why didn’t you call the front office and tell them to go knock on the door?”
BECAUSE WE ARE A SICK FAMILY THAT THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!

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27
Oct
Guess what?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Shaun’s step daughter and her new husband are having a baby.
His step son and new wife are also having a baby.
That means Shaun is becoming a Grandpa TWICE in one year.
Go ahead, give him well wishes and then point and laugh at him for being an OLD MAN!

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14
Nov
A letter from the children,
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Hello Internet,

I’m sad to inform you that my mother’s brain exploded today.  We saw it coming on yesterday when all five of us were sick.  Some of us coughing and sneezing. Some of us had sore throats.  A couple were barfing.

After her third trip to the store to pick up another bag of cough drops because we didn’t like the menthol kind and the cherry flavored ones tasted gross, we decided to hide her brain.  The most logical place to hide it would be somewhere in the kitchen — the room she likes to avoid unless it involves getting coffee.

All night long she did okay without her brain. She even managed to wash all her bedding and pillows because she let the child that was most sick lay in her bed all day and watch television in between mad dashes to the bathroom to barf.

Today a few of the remaining sick children went  back to school, but a few stayed home.  We thought she would be okay without her brain for a few more days.  I mean, come on…it’s not like she uses it.  We thought it would be for the best..to give her some time not to think about all the craziness that is going on.

I’m not really TOO certain what happened, but we know she found her brain in between a moldy bowl of Lucky Charms and a bacon greased skillet.  When she came to and went back into her ‘sick free’ room that she had just washed ALL the sheets and pillows in hot water and Tide with Febreeze she found what we like to call a “OH HELL NO.” situation.  A SICK CHILD IN HER CLEAN BED!
Someone said she turned around and her eyes were bleeding.  She made her way to the living room to find a blunt object to beat the child that was resting in the ‘sick free’ zone when she saw the OTHER child EATING IN THE LIVING ROOM!

The people that are taking us to live with them said it was tragic.

She managed to beat herself into a coma with a Costco size jug of Lysol Wipes.

Love,
The Children of Random and Odd

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14
Nov
SPF: For Jenelle
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I have lost my mind. No really, I lost it about 2 days ago and I can’t find it. I checked between the couch cushions and everything and it’s NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.

I checked the medication I am on and it said…it said…yeah, I can’t remember, but it might have something to do with the fact that I can’t remember anything.

I’m pretty sure this is what it feels like to be my mother all the time. I’m going from room to room thinking, “I came in here for something and I can’t remember what.  Why am I in this room?”
The best way to avoid this problem is to stay in one room and don’t leave it.  I figure I might as well clean it up while i’m in here.

The laptop is STILL dead.  I feel like someone lobbed off the left arm and told me to paddle. uphill.

This week SPF was thought up by Missing JTSnow.  HEre is the email she sent: (I can’t quote box anything because I am THAT LAME)

Hey Kristine – loved the shout out to Breast Cancer Awareness this week.  I totally have a theme for you for sometime in November!  I’ll be blogging about it more next Wednesday, but November is National Epilepsy Awareness Month (You know, that crappy monster that has a hold of my little girl!)

Anyway, you can totally say I suggested this so it won’t seem so inappropriate or distasteful (LOL) but I was thinking of this…

1.  Something you seize (as in seizure, get it?)
2.  Something that shakes (because you shake when you have seizures)
3.  And something purple (because purple is the color for National Epilepsy Awareness Month!

Just thought I’d help!  Have a great weekend!

Kelly
Aka Missing JT Snow!

I hope you all get a chance to play!!

Now, off to find my mind. If you know where I put it, call me and tell me.

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13
Nov
Immaculate Parallel Parking
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


It would take a miracle for me to be able to parallel park. I would rather eat sour cream than even attempt to parallel park.

Back when I had my drivers test, they didn’t require you to do it.  Probably because I lived in a town with 1 stop sign and not a light to be found.  The closest thing to parallel parking was pulling over on the side of the road to grab your gun out of your rack to get a deer that was stupid enough to cross the road in front of my father and he wasn’t fast enough to run over it.

I waited until I was almost 18 before I went to take my drivers test. I had been driving since I was 13, but the DMV doesn’t care that your training came from ‘back roads to bon fires’.  In Shingletown you don’t need a drivers licences as long as you know the back roads. You could get anywhere you wanted in my town by just winding around the red dirt roads.  Noooo parallel parking needed, just hit the gas and launch your car up on a hill and you’re clear.

I tried to parallel park once when I was living in Redding.  I had my sister with me and we were going to go to this cute little shop ‘downtown’.  Kathy located a spot to park between two cars.
I pulled up fairly close, backed up, pulled up a bit, backed up.  Got out of the car and went to the passenger side and told her to do it.

I can do lots of cool things, but parking sideways isn’t one of them.

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09
Nov
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


NO!



The dog is NOT allowed on the carpet, but she likes to cross the line to see how much she can get away with.

YES!



She’s allowed to longinly into the living room, but not go on the carpet.

Maybe…



I know, I know…I should stick to one or other, but how can you resist her just resting her face on the carpet?

Did you play??

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08
Nov
*burp*
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


SPF this week was going to focus on National Epilepsy Month, but it’s now Wednesday and that is just not enough time for me to pump that up, so next week you’re going to get your SPF-For Jenelle.

This week is a little ‘out of the box, overthinking, or underthinking, off the hook or in the oven’. Basicly it’s going to be hard or easy, it’s up to you.

SPF: NOV. 10th (that’s this Friday)

1. YES!
2. NO!
3. MAYBE.

It feels like EVERY SINGLE day revolves around those three words. Show me what is a yes, no or maybe in your house.

*** Update ****

Happy Belated Birthday, Army of Mom! (it was yesterday)

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07
Nov
Wife Swap?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Since the laptop decides to loose the wireless information everytime it goes into sleep mode I am being to led to believe that Shaun has taken up praying and made some fucked up pact with God that if I finish our business website he will start going to church and teaching the preschool class by telling them about Noah’s Arc in his Goofy voice.

I don’t know what he did, but I am blaming the whole laptop problem on him.  I’m also thinking that HP stands for “Has Problems”

Since I can’t lay in bed and surf porn anymore, I am forced to work on our business site…which on the FUN scale is like ripping off my fingernails one by one…not fun.

In one of my ‘avoiding actually doing anything’ rituals, I checked my email.  I started laughing so hard I almost blew my liver out.

“Shaun, WIFE SWAP emailed me!”  I had him come over and read the important part:

Kristine,

Greetings. My name is Daniel Markell and I am the Casting Producer for the hit show Wife Swap on ABC.

Perhaps you have heard about it. We are currently looking for amazing families with huge personalities

And great dynamics for the 3rd season. I have surfing around reading blogs and somehow ended up at yours.

I must say that I was definitely entertained by the descriptions of your family and the pace of life at your house.

 I was wondering if you were interested in applying.

Shaun was impressed and possibly a bit interested.

“Email them back and tell them you’re in.”
My eyebrows crawled back into my forehead and then came crashing down into the frown to end all frowns.
“NO! you’ll trade me in for the new wife!”

I had a split second thinking of a woman coming in my house and beating my children on a day other than Sunday! I thought about a woman sitting at my computer blogging for me and SPELLING EVERYTHING RIGHT and putting sentences with STRUCTURE on Random and Odd.  Oh dear God, what if she bleaches my cupboards!?  I will NONE of this!
Then I thought about the poor husband I would get stuck with.  He would probably beat me in the head if I asked him to get me soda wif ice, asked him to hold me while I go through the 15 stages of a panic attack and would probably boot my ass out of the car the first time I freaked out when the car in front of us put on his brakes.

Shaun then joked, “You’d go into a family that doesn’t have computers.”
I gasped in fear of the reality of that.
“Ohhh, you would have to go to an amish family!” he laughed.
My eyes got all huge, “Noooooooooooooooo!”
Shaun began to actually get gitty and excited. “Kristine, think about it…we could get a wife that will plow the backyard!”

Hmmm.

Now that’s worth sitting down and thinking about.

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06
Nov
Happy Birthday Mommy!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I have the best mommy in the world. You might think your mom is the best. Mine is not only the best, she is the coolest.  That is why we call her the Fonz.

I’m not going to make her cry this year by saying stuff all mushy.  Just know that for her birthday I took Kara to get her toenails done to let her see how much I love her.
If she feels half as much love as you showed me growing up, I will count myself blessed and very, very loved.

Happy Birthday, Fonz.

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05
Nov
Ohana – Sunday Six
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
This is our first week playing Sunday Six. I don’t normally play any online memes, because i’m so bad and running my own and playing every week that I don’t normally want to try to do something because I will do it once and never do it again and the person that runs it ends up hating me for being a flake.

Since this is National Epilepsy Awareness Month and I am going to run SPF next Friday in honor of Jenelle (who pulled herself up in a standing position!!) I thought I would play her Sunday Six game:

Shea was the lovely child that got to answer the questions.  While reading the answers, please do so in a Boston accent please.
1. What is a family?

a group of people that are bown one by another and that is it.
2. How big is your family?

There awe 14 people.

3. Who is the leader of the family?

thee adults. wait, who’s the oldest?

4. Who is the youngest in the family?

ME!

5. What do you do as a family?

watch tv, wun around, pway games.

6. What do you love most about your family?

how most of us follow ‘ohana’ (Like in the movie Lelo and Stich they say, “Ohana means family and family means love and love means that no one gets left behind or forgotten.”) and no one twies  to leave me.

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03
Nov
OMG!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Friday has officially SUCKED the big one for me.

Last night my laptop decided it was going to delete the wireless and let me fend for myself.  I spent 2 hours on the phone this morning trying to figure out what was wrong.  I ended up deleting EVERYTHING and starting over, which didn’t fix the problem. A button got clicked and it miraculously fixed the problem.  It’s a damn good thing because I truly had NO idea what the HP Technical Service Operator was saying.  He said, “Accessories” and I swear he was speaking greek. I hated to have to keep asking him what he was saying because I didn’t want to appear rude, but I hadn’t a clue what the man was saying to me.  His accent was WAY too thick.  It got fixed and he forwarded me onto his ‘superWiser’ and I couldn’t understand what HE was saying so I just kept saying yes until they said ‘sank you’ and hung up.
This morning, Alyx decided she was going to pull a guilt trip on me. I yelped on the way to school, “It’s FRIDAY!” thinking it would put them in a better mood.  Not the case.  Alyx blurted out, “Friday’s aren’t any fun if Ryan isn’t going to be here.”
My heart sank.  Poor girl misses her older brother so much.
I tried to assure her that he might be coming down, but she said she already asked and he has drama practice on the weekends all the way through Thanksgiving.

I picked the girls up from school and Shea had the biggest smile on her face and was tearing past the crosswalk lady to get to the car before Alyx did.
“Moooooooooooooooooooooooom!” her voice has NEVER been as high as it was as she singsonged the next words, “Alyx had to dance with a boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!” followed by little sister giggles.
Alyx just stared at me with such seriousness I was afraid to ask. It is almost as she has somehow genetically got passed down Shaun’s ‘big eye, sigh, eyebrow raise’.
“She has to squuuuuuuarrrrrree dance!!!”  Shea continues. “Sowwy Alyx, it’s just soooooo funny!”
Alyx looks at me and says in a flat voice, “One more reason to hate Friday.” and then continues to explain the pain of square dancing.  She said her boy is just ‘ick’.

Shea then screams, “He’s a fucker face!”

A what?  Did my daughter just call a little boy a fucker face?  Has she been secretly listening in on conversations between My mother and I as we describe our ex-husbands?

“a whhaa?” I am looking at the road, but wanting to stop and look at Alyx so she can translate this language she has been speaking for 8 years that only she understands.

“He has FUCKER all over his face!”  She scrunches up her nose as she says FUCKER to make sure I understand that is an important fact.

That’s when Alyx realizes that I don’t understand what Shea is saying and there is a good chance I might have to beat the small child when I get home for cussing and calling a little boy a fucker face.
“FRECKLE FACE. He has freckles on his face.” she explains.

I took a deep breath and when Shea said, “That’s what I said, ‘FUCKER ON HIS FACE’” I giggled a little.

Alyx rolled her eyes and did that big eye/sigh combination, “Good thing she starts speach therapy this year.”

Yeah. I agree.  If not she’s going to end up working as a HP Technical Service Operator.

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02
Nov
SPF…Super damn easy.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


The Good:


She’s Cleaning. I won’t have to beat her until she bleeds today.
The Bad:


This is what I will wake up to tomorrow morning and I will forced to beat her till she bleeds!
The Ugly:


She gets this from her Auntie Kathy.

I’m on Day 3 of 365 days of Random and Odd.

Did you play?

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30
Nov
grr.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I have a zit UNDER the skin ON my NOSE.  You can’t see it, but I look like Rudolf and everytime I touch my nose it feels like someone punched me in the face and for some reason my eyeball explodes.

Ouch.

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28
Nov
as you can tell….I suck.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I finally had the opportunity to have a picture taken with all my kids and step-kids.  All my brats in one picture!
It was nice. We went to dinner. I drove Ry home and we talked the whole way and the best part of the conversation was how Wheat Thins are SO much better than Triscuits.
I actually had a 1 and half minute civil conversation with his mom.
The weekend before she paid for tickets for us to see Ry at his play and she was really nice…so nice in fact that I took the kids out and took pictures of them for her and Dan.  She was thankful and said she loved the pictures.  So, me being an Aries, I am now lulled into a false sense of security that all is right in the world and we are going to live happily ever after.   The Seguin part of me knows me the other shoe will drop and that reality will come crashing in with great force.

Thanksgiving was good. I had The Fonz for 5 whole days and it’s was like Christmas and all my birthdays wrapped into one. I was walking on air.

As you can tell by my infrequent posts and stuff that I have been sucking lately.  It’s the weather. I hate it. I hate feeling cold.  It’s the medication. I hate it. It’s the 31 episodes of Forensic Files I have on Tivo that need to be watched. It’s the fact that my laptop wifi card was corrupted.
Playing on the desktop just makes me feel dirty, like I am cheating on my boyfriend with an exboyfriend or something.

I’ve thought MANY MANY times about shutting down Random and Odd.  It’s a lot of work to keep finding things to talk about.  It’s a lot of work keeping up the friendships from around the world I have made just by talking about the stupid things in my life.
Random and Odd is a lot of work…but I don’t regret a single thing I have put here and I always will stand behind my words.  This is the real me and if you have liked the person you have met here, then I am happy because ‘what you see is what you got’…or something like that.

BUT, I also know that I need Random and Odd as much as everything else in my life that causes balance. I’m also certain I will have a plateful emails from people telling me that without SPF they will have to start beating their children and kicking small dogs for fun.

SPF: Friday DECEMBER (yep, it’s Dec. folks) 1st.

1. Something that makes you go “hmmmm.”

2. Something Sweet

3. Something Retro
Please forgive me for my suckage…I am trying.

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25
Nov
retard, but the good retard, not the one that is offensive.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Shaun was just talking to Halo, which isn’t anything out of the normal. We all talk to her and ask her questions as if someday she will answer us.

The funny thing is Shaun said, “Do you wanna go for a walk?” and you could hear Halo making the whiney yip that means, “OH HELL YES I DO! LETS GO GET THE LEASH!”
Then he said, “Can you say…Waaalllkkk? Hm? Can you? Can you say Walk?”

My mother is still here, it’s [the retard gene we share] starting to rub off on him.

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23
Nov
A Non-SPF Thanksgiving picture…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I took 152 pictures and THIS is the only one that made me really think, ‘Happy Thanksgiving’.

Hope all you Turkey eaters had a great holiday.

Did you take pictures?  Share!?

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21
Nov
OH HAPPY DAY! OH HAPPY DAY!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


MARIO GARCIA WAS FOUND GUILTY!
1st degree murder!

Thank you SO much for all your prayers and everything. It’s been a rough last week, but with tears streaming down my face I can tell you…OH HAPPY DAY! I am going to be alright.

I want to tackle hug Debbie for JUSTICE!

GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY!!
Thanks for putting up for me for the last week, It’s been a rough one.

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20
Nov
Thanksgiving Break…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Is going to make me crazier than I normally is…are..am..whatever.

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17
Nov
hitting a nerve…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
The deliberations in the Christie Wilson case started yesterday. They have 700 items of evidence to go through.

I’m on edge and feel physically ill about it. I’m in constant prayer that the jury can feel all the vibes and prayers for them to see the truth (even though all the bad stuff he did before couldn’t be allowed for evidence).

I’m worried. It seems like the only cases that I have watched have always came back innocent. My mother and I sat on the phone when they came back with the OJ verdict and together we cried our hearts out.
Now during this time where I am waiting to hear a verdict on a case I have grown closer to any other…OJ’s face is all over the news trying to get publicity for a book where he writes about he would have hypothetically would have killed his ex-wife. I am SICK to death over it…honestly.

Is there NO rest for the Goldman and Brown family?

Will the Wilson family get to have that sigh of relief that the Goldman and Brown families did not?

I’m sorry if I am withdrawn right now. I’m just torn up inside waiting to hear, “Guilty”.

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17
Nov
SPF: For Jenelle…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Sorry, I fell asleep last night..i’m doing it now:

1.  Something you seize (as in seizure, get it?)


2.  Something that shakes (because you shake when you have seizures)


3.  And something purple (because purple is the color for National Epilepsy Awareness Month!

Gah! did you play?

I will in about an hour after I get all my shots.

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16
Nov
i love you.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


My sister,

I love you.

Guess what? I will see you tomorrow. m’kay? Get out he hair dye, crack pipe and potato soup…we are going to party like we are SO over the hill.

I love you, kath. I love your laugh. I love your smile. I love your face.

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15
Nov
not quite right…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Kathy and I were talking about television and my lack of watching it.  I told her I watch Headline News and Tivo all the Forensic crap I can find.  She ranted about the commercials on television at her blog and I had to laugh at her…I mean, come on, freaking out about poor John Mellencamp doin’ his part to feed his family?  Kath..DECAF, just as tasty as the real thing.

I mean, if you want me to rant then get me started on the ‘book’ that O.J. Simpson is writing about IF he killed his wife, how he would have done it. *throwing hands up in the air*
Hell has a special place for him.

To lighten the mood of the conversation, Kathy mentioned “Dancing With the Stars” and asked me if I was watching it. I told her that I don’t, but I keep up on who got the boot because they are always interviewed by the Today Show one day that week.

“Mario is SO cute.” She says.
“Yeah, I saw a whole back shot, head to toe…butt naked on Nip/Tuck. MEeee-OW. He looked pretty good.”

Then my sister said something that might haunt me for the rest of my life, or make me laugh in those moments when depression and anxiety grabs hold of me…

“Oh, those dimples…I just want to put cheese whiz in them and lick it out.”

That right there…she gets that from my mother.

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19
Dec
I will be calling the doctor…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Yesterday I had a major meltdown.

On top of everything else going on, I caught a cold.  It’s one of the painful ones that feel like I have actually gargled with Drano.  I took some Dayquil and tried to go about the day like a normal person.  I swear, there is something in Dayquil that can actually make me hear things that don’t normally have sound.  I heard the tile on the floor say, “BLEACH ME!!!!”    At night I took the NyQuil and I had dreams that I had to remarry my ex-husband so he could get a better tax write-off.

In between my days and nights of feeling like a walking zombie, I am still dealing with the addition of Shaun’s Ex and her baby boy.  It’s actually gotten easier as the little guy is comfortable around everyone and Tabitha has taken over the beating of the children.  It’s not that hard at all.  We both have our bad days though.  One day she was having a bad one and I totally thought it was my fault and I took it personally.  I always feel like if someone isn’t happy it’s MY fault.  I said or did something wrong.   The weird thing is, when I REALLY do something that makes someone mad, I am oblivious to it and I am SHOCKED when they tell me I did something wrong.   I am wired ALL wrong.

Yesterday we went out to pick up a few things at Costco.  We then made our way over to Walmart (because they have WAY good popcorn Chicken) and I decided to pick up some stocking stuffers and a pair of pants.  I got to the register and NO VISA CARD.  I must have left it in the car.  Shaun ran out while I chatted with the lady behind the register about how cool the pants were because they stretched to fit my fat ass and you actually have to get a size smaller because they fit THAT well.

When he came walking in, he had that “I couldn’t find it.” look.   I did the eyebrow raise and he did the shrug.  “It’s not in there.”
OH MY GOD HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSSSSSING.
I dig through my wallet again in hopes of it flying out at me and it didn’t.
FUCKING DAYQUIL!

I give him all my cash and grab the car keys, “buy whatever, I’m going to the car.”
I CAN’T FIND THE FUCKING CAR!  I am walking around clicking the unlock button hoping that I will find it and then it hits me, THE MELTDOWN.
I get into the car after 5 minutes of walking all over the damn lot.  We drive back to Costco and find out they have my Visa card, but the supervisor that had it, went to lunch.

On the way back to the car I could feel Shaun’s arm on my back trying to pull me closer to him and I felt myself walking towards on coming traffic.  The guy in the small bronco that I tried to walk into looked at me like I was crazy and I realized…I am.

I’m calling the doctor so I can talk to someone.

I’m thinking Shock Therapy might be the trick.

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18
Dec
Still Alive…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


My mom use to always say, “When it rains, it pours.”  Boy, she was NOT kidding.

I’m doing my best to stay afloat and be the strong person I have been told I am.

Right before I woke up from one of the thousands of nightmares that haunt my dreams I heard my mom say, “Everything happens for a reason, Kristine. Why is this one happening?”

Of course, in my dream we were all moving back to Shingletown to live in my dad’s single wide mobile home…and by ALL of us, I mean my sister, her husband, my mom, my family, and about every single person I know that needs help.

Last weekend while Shaun was moving his ex’s stuff into a storage unit to get her out of that apartment he saw who he thought might have been one of the guys who attacked her the weekend before.  He drove around the corner and on the ground was an older asian lady who had just been attacked.    He got out and called 911 and made sure she was okay.  She wasn’t. She spent 2 days in ICU until the swelling went down and they were sure she would pull through.   The police called Shaun in to identify the guy right after it happened and so ONE of four guys that attacked his ex-wife is in jail.

That was a week ago.
It seems like the weeks are flying by, but then again dragging by.  I’m doing okay.  I’m going to be alright.

The phrase keeps rolling through my head, “Everything happens for a reason, Kristine.”

I wish my mommy was here…but I have NO idea where I would put her.

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15
Dec
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Broken Stuff Portrait Friday

What’s up everyone, Shaun here.  It’s been a crazy CRAZY week at the Random and Odd household, so unfortunately there’s no crazy pics from Kristine this week….and you’ve got me hosting.  Kristine’s huddled in the corner of our closet in the fetal position, babbling something about her laptop being sent back to HP for repairs.  I don’t know, all the weeping made it hard to understand.  I’m temporarily adopting SPF, so hopefully you enjoyed an easy week this week. This is basically the grown-up version of me writing her an excuse note for this week.

So, for those of you troopers who played, your categories were:

1. Your Roof
2. Your ‘hood (you can do sweatshirt, your neighborhood, your car…)
3. Something you would not want to run into that is in your house.

Did you play?  If not, I can write you a note.

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12
Dec
my angel…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Tree is up.

Stockings are up.

SOME presents under the tree.

Home decorated.

It’s getting there.

Wish I could give you more, but I am physically and emotionally drained.

Is this what people talk about when they say, ‘Holiday Depression’????

UP THE XANAX!

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10
Dec
Christmas Wishes…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Yes, things are crazy here.  I want some stuff though.

1. I want to get my Christmas tree.
2. I want to decorate my house.
3. I want to put some presents under my tree.
4. I want to drive around the crazy decorated houses and say, ‘oooh, ahhh! look at that one!!’.

I want my mommy. I want my sister. I want someone to clean my car. I want the dog to stop barking. I want the rain to stop. I want a fairy god mother to come ask me what I want so I can say, “Clean my room!”. I want …

Fugetabout it.  What do you want?

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07
Dec
at what point do you say, “You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
There is NO SPF this week, but we will make up for it NEXT week, m’kay?

I know there really is NO way you can believe everything that happened today alone.

1. The most important; Jeremiah kissed me. Yes, I got my first kiss and he reached for ME. My heart has been melted and I am thinking about having babies again.

2. Tabitha is getting better. Her doctor helped her alot today…keep praying, she can feel the good vibes coming through. They found a bone spur from one of the numerous blows to her head, but it’s going to be alright.

3. Dan has a date for his Christmas party. It happened to be with one of my best friends. She called me for advice on what to wear. He called to see if he could use my shower to get ready. *shrug*

4. While at a photo shoot tonight, Tabitha made a nice romantic dinner for Shaun and I. The kids helped.

It’s sad when the most romantic evening Shaun and I have had in months and months is one made by his ex-wife while my ex-husband was in the shower getting ready for a date with my friend.

*shrug* really…you have to be asking yourself, ‘is this for fucking real?’

As for SPF (for my broken pubis bone) FOR NEXT WEEK

1. Your Roof
2. Your ‘hood (you can do sweatshirt, your neighborhood, your car…)
3. Something you would not want to run into that is in your house.

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06
Dec
Don’t let that cute face fool you…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


HE CAN SCCCCRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMM louder than my room mate did when he cracked the wood toilet seat and his ball sack got pinched in it.

Today he is screaming, “Happy Birthday, Marina!! you’re 13!!!”

It sounds more like, “WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
We understand though.

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05
Dec
I hate UPDATE posts, but sometimes you gotta just let it go…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Thank you all for your concern for Shaun’s ex. I let her know she has lots of people wishing her well.

As for the questions:
1. The three punks that pulled her from the car and beat her over the head in the face with guns were not caught. They insisted on ‘taking her ride’ and money…but neither idiot could drive a stick so they had to leave it.  The battery was removed so just in case they found someone to drive it, it still wouldn’t start.  We then picked up the car and it’s safely parked in front of my house.

2. Jeremiah is Shaun’s ex-wives’ 9 month old baby.  He’s a mommas’ boy, but he’s getting use to Auntie Crazy (that’s me) and Uncle Buddy (Shaun).    He’s being an angel and I am happy that he’s having this much time with this brother (Tyler) and Sister (Marina)

and there are other questions, but I can’t remember.

Now for the lame story of how I crunched up my pelvis bone.  After looking at pictures of the human body (minus the porn music) and then at the bones in our body, I see that it was actually the “PUBIS” bone that I crunched.  The pubis bone sounds so much better than the ‘Clit Bone’ like I have using as a creative description.

I went to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra with my friend, Ruka.  Since Shaun was staying home to hang out with his ex-wife, I got to wear my ‘big girl shoes’.  They are the big, clunky boot like shoes that make me about a foot taller than I already am (I’m 5’9″).  I got home pretty late and I knew that the baby and ex were asleep so I decided to maneuver through the house without any lights.  I walked  RIGHT into the solid corner of a table.  I saw stars. I lost my breath. I started silently weeping as I crawled down the hallway.  The next morning I checked my clit pubic bone and I have the cutest triangle shaped bruise right down there.
“Go to the doctor!” Shaun, his ex and my friend ‘Cita keep saying.
I would TOTALLY have done that except I woke up the next morning and there was blood.  I was going to have to give it an hour to see if it was from the accident or if it was because God has a fucked up sense of humor and was going to just add ONE more thing on my plate.   Come to find out, God is one wicked funny bastard.  I will NOT being seeing a doctor until God stops giggling at me.

Yesterday was all about “Driving Miss Daisy” around to get to the DMV, the bank and get a new phone.  We spent the day together and I believe she was right when she said, “As fucked up as what happened to me, I am blessed enough to find out what a wonderful person you are because you came to the hospital, picked up my baby, put me in your bed, gave me medication and told me to rest.  You took care of me.  I see how you are with my kids on a whole new level and I am getting to know you for who you really are.”
THANK GOD!  I am so happy for that.  I love it when people see me for who I really am and get me.  I’m not a bad person…I am human though.  We were able to joke with each other all day and it was nice spending the day with her and getting to know her too.  I admire her strength and patience she has.  I now know when she ‘freaks the fuck out’ it’s because she has been PUSHED to that point and she’s not just being a bitch to be a bitch.

She’s also cleaning.  She’s using bleach. She killed the spiders and ants in my bathroom. SHE TOOK OUT MY TRASH!  If she keeps it up though, I might need to trade Shaun in for his ex.

Dan came over last night to hang out with the kids.   Shaun’s ex loved that I could call my ex a dumb ass to his face and he would come back with something equally as insulting.  There isn’t a sitcom on TV that is more entertaining than my house this week.

As you guessed it, my anxiety attacks are through the roof right now.  I’m thinking about putting the chunks of hair I am losing under my pillow to see if there is a hair fairy that will be able to leave me some xanax in exchange for the locks.

I am trying to breatheeeeeeeeeeee in and out, but sometimes it seems like every second is just that…a second.  I’m not running on ‘minute by minute’, but second by second. Some are good and some are scary.

Thank you all for the well wishes and wishful thinking that my accident was so much more exciting than what really happened. I love you all.

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04
Dec
life changing…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Shaun’s ex was robbed and assaulted at gunpoint at her apartment on Friday night. She was beat with the butt of the pistol on her head.  She’s still alive, but pretty bruised up and emotionally and physically in pain.

Shaun and I picked her up from the ER on Saturday morning around 1 am and brought her back to our house and she’s staying here until she gets better and decides what to do.  We also have baby J here with us. Shaun is in all his glory with ‘little man’.  Our Flickr site will be filled with pictures  of him while he’s here.

My posts will be short as I finally have gotten close enough to Jeremiah where I can cart him around on my hip while Shaun’s ex takes a shower and relaxes without him freaking out.

I also think I crushed my pelvis bone…badly.  Go ahead and try to figure that one out, it’s always fun to see what your sick and twisted readers come up with.

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30
Nov
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Hey everyone. Shaun here. Kristine’s laptopless, and still a little disoriented. I still remember how to use these old-fashioned computer things that plug into the wall, so I have temporary SPF custody. Pray she regains laptopness before I choose next week’s SPF categories. Until then…….

Something that makes you go ‘hmmmmmm’



(insert your own joke here)…..yes, I make her go ‘hmmmm’ quite often AND I look like I’m saying ‘hmmmm’ in this picture. So its like a double point photo. I believe I was contemplating the exit strategy for the American forces in the Middle East when this picture was taken. OR I was watching Spongebob. One or the other.

Something Sweet



Halo fans, rejoice. We went out for dinner, and she got leftovers. No better way to eat steak than having it cut and thrown in the air to you. It got us strange looks at Sizzler, though, come to think of it. But Halo loves it. Oh, and its a bad-ass shot of flying steak and a jumping dog.

Something Retro



I like this photo. Marina took this of her Converse shoes, thought it looked retro. The price tag for these, however, was pure 2006.

OK, that’s it. Hopefully a bunch of you played and had fun with pictures!! So, did you? Did you play? Huh? Did you?

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29
Dec
Holy crap the medication is SO kickin’ in…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


I think Shaun has taken every medication we have in our cupboards.  He has been doped up on Benedryl, Motrin, TheraFlu, Zicam and we even pulled out the big boy and gave him Codine.   Now, i’m no light weight, but I would be OUT if I had ingested that much medication in the last 24 hours.  Nope, not my lil’ trooper. He’s all doped up and still coughing.

I could do what my mom use to do to my dad when he was doped up, but the Rocklin Police have been to my house too many times for stupid things. I mean, how do you explain to the boys in blue, “My mom just used a cast iron skillet to my dad’s head when he was whining.”?  You just can’t do stuff like that here.  They expect you to just ‘nurse’ them back to health with chicken soup and TLC.   Unless Cambell soup will work and TLC stands for Tylonol Laced Codine, then I’m going to jail.

Things have been busy here. It’s been busy all month.  Tabitha moved in on the 1st of December and has become a part of the family quite nicely.  It’s nice having her around and OHHHHHHH the baby loving I get in the morning is healing the soul.
Before she moved in here I only got to see Jeremiah maybe 3 times a month for 3 minutes and he would have NOTHING to do with me.  Now he has no problem reaching for me and ‘flirting’.  There is nothing more heart melting than a nine month old flirting with you.  I watch him during the day while she is in her meetings and we have our time together to play and make lots of noise with his toys.

I give her all the credit in the world. I don’t know how she does it. Everything she has been through and she just pushes it side to lay on the blow up bed and giggle with her son. She could be falling asleep and he’s trying to pulling out her hair and she never loses her mind. She grabs his little hands and kisses them.  I admire that.

We went out to dinner the other night and I got a good laugh.  Kara (the one with braces) was eating spaghetti and Shaun said something funny.  Kara stopped mid bite and looked up and Shaun said, “MY GOD, it looks like a Buick hit a octopus!”  I died laughing.

I’m laughing. I’m sleeping. I am getting my life in order.  I want to get off the medication and figure out how to do this without it.  I want to be that strong woman I know I can be.  Safely…of course.
Have a frantrabroulous New Years.
Kristine…out of the closet and doing damn good.

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29
Dec
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Happy Almost 2007, everyone.  Shaun here, wrapping up the last SPF of 2007.  Kristine is doing much better, which signals an end to me hosting for awhile.  I’m getting sick and am heavily medicated, so if I begin to drift or spell strangely, you’ll know why.  I’m the worst sick person in the world, just like to be left alone under the porch to die.  So, before the medicine causes me to pass out on the keyboard……

1. Something that you won’t have in your home in 2007



The Random and Odd look will change early in 2007.  It’s roots are showing, and in need of a makeover.

2. Something random and odd

Kristine has 25 episodes of Forensic Files saved on TiVo.  At this point, she could testify as a forensic expert in any murder case in the country.  This leads me to believe the picture in the first SPF category should have been of my body instead of the website header.  (gulp)  I love you, honey.  And no, I see no reason to sign these life insurance papers you’re leaving next to the computer.

3. 07…..pick seven of something. Or with the number 7. Whatever. Be creative.



Yup, this is us.  The seven usual residents of this house.  I had nothing entertaining or funny to take a photo of, and the meds are zapping the creative juices.

Kristine will be in to comment tomorrow, hope everyone who played did better than my sick ass did.

Did you play?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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27
Dec
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Last SPF of 2006!!!!

Hey everyone……Shaun here. Kristine has come out of the closet (insert joke here). She’s easing onto laptopping again, so I’m finishing up 2006 for her. Since everyone did well following instructions and complimenting my blog-hosting skillz (see, I used a ‘z’ to keep my street cred), I’ll keep this last SPF simple for everyone.

1. Something that you won’t have in your home in 2007

2. Something random and odd

3. 07…..pick seven of something. Or with the number 7. Whatever. Be creative.

Now play so you will have some momentum going into the new year!!

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24
Dec
Best one so far…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Merry Christmas Everyone!!! We hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!

**Updated Message**

I got the best gift ever this year.

I had my children, my step children, my husband, his ex-wife and my ex husband for a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner made by the awesome, hardworking people at Boston Market.
On plastic plates and with plastic forks we had our wonderful dinner together.  Not an awkward moment anywhere.  It felt PERFECTLY ‘right’.

This year was all about learning about messages, finding how much the human spirit can handle, finding out how much love and learning could be found just sitting on the couch with a cup of a coffee and a new friend.

I’m proud of our family. All of us. Tabitha, Dan, Me and Shaun…and most of all, our kids.

May you grow up to be happy, healthy, well adjusted adults who can look back at this year as an example of how to treat other people, how to be a part of a family and treat people with the respect they deserve.

No, we don’t have the same last names and 4 of us have ‘ex’ in front of our names…but we are a family.  A very random and odd family!

I hope your Christmas was as eye opening and wonderful as ours was.

Love,
Kristine and Shaun…and Co.

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23
Dec
moved…not locations, just in my heart. I am moved.
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
I got a package from a friend today.  I opened the package and inside were many children’s books. I flipped through the pages and then read the label that came with all the books.  She mentioned that it was her favorite or this one inspired her and so going through them I looked at them through her eyes and it was so very special.

One of the books was called, “Ish”.  As I was reading it I would think she wrote the book herself. She is very ISH.  I felt good after reading it because I realized, I was a little ISH too.

We had to run out to the store to pick up a copy of my favorite book from the bookstore to give to my step son for Christmas.  I was thrilled beyond words when Dan told me he had added it to his Christmas list.  I have been telling Ryan about this book for years and to be able to give him the gift of words just makes me giddy with excitement.

While I was there I was surrounded by beautiful books, millions of words floating around, and ohh, the wonderful covers and pictures.  I was inspired.

I got home and I sat in front of the fire and read a book that she had sent me. It was a kids book that was about a boy that wanted the answers to Three Questions.
Shaun and Tabitha were talking as I was hunched over in front of the fire reading and savoring each line of this children’s story.  At the end, I let out a big ol’ sniffle and my eyes were glowing with tears.

“Are you crying over a CHILD’S BOOK?”  they asked.

“Yes. it was a good one.”

Thank you, Wave of Modulation for just being you.  You know that each of those books you sent filled a very ‘needing’ place in my heart and just you knowing that THOSE were the words I needed at this time in my life.  You are special in so many ways.

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22
Dec
HOLY SHIT SHERLOCK!
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

DIAMOND EARRINGS!  a halfa carat each!  I am afraid to wear them and have them fall off or make my earlobes drag down to the floor!  I feel all fancy though.

I don’t know how he kept them without telling me. Whenever  I have a surprise for someone I walk on my tip toes and talk in a high voice.

:)  Thanks honey!!

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21
Dec
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


What’s up, everyone…Shaun here.  I know, you miss the boobs.  She’s actually doing much better, actually left the closet for the big, bad living room.  The laptop has returned and has been reunited with her.  They spent most of the afternoon bonding.  So you should have her back shortly.

Onto the assignment…………


One Ornament

We got this Random and Odd ornament last year and LOVED it.  It makes no sense whatsoever, so it’s front and center on the tree.  Santa with sequin pants and a feminine frog.  Now THAT’S Christmas.


Something Stuffed in a Stocking

Mooshu did NOT like this.  At all.


One Gift.

I’m not sure what this one is.  Kristine did all the shopping….or did she?  Since she’s probably due for an early surprise, I’ll let her open this one when she reads her blog.  When she reads this, she’ll probably want to look under the wash cloth on top of the PC.  Just a hunch….

Did you play?

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21
Dec
One email from everyone that reads this site would be awesome…
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
Now that Mario Garcia has been found guilty, the next step is his sentencing. Judge Gaddis will impose Garcia’s sentencing on January 11th.

The Family & Friends of Christie Wilson ask for your support in writing to Judge Gaddis to encourage him to impose the Maximum Sentence allowable on Mario Garcia, who continues to show NO remorse, No accountability and REFUSES to disclose Christie’s whereabouts. Garcia continues to also lie about his involvement in the assault of Wendy Ward and is telling media that he never used the gun…that it was made up. This has been Garcia’s M.O. for the past 25 years. He is the most violent of criminals and is a pathological liar — it’s always everyone elses fault.

This man must be sentenced to the MAXIMUM SECURED PRISON FOR LIFE “WITHOUT” PAROLE. THE HIDING OF CHRISTIE’S BODY SHOULD BE GROUNDS FOR “NO PAROLE”.

Please join us in writing to: Honorable Judge Larry Gaddis of the Placer County Superior Court in Auburn, CA.

This is a very important part of the sentencing process and the court needs to know how the community feels about this horrific murderer.

Please submit your letters to Judge Gaddis by 12/22. Thank You.

Placer County District Attorney’s Office
RE: Sentencing of Mario F Garcia
ATTN: Garen Horst
FAX: (530) 889-7129
EMAIL: bfenocch@placer.ca.gov

SEND IT OFF TODAY AND SEND ME A COPY OF WHAT YOU WROTE!!
This means the world to me, and the more people we get sending a email saying NO PAROLE for this man from all over the world will show not only Christies Family how much we care, but how this case had more impact that anyone ever thought would.

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21
Dec
are the rooms really RUBBER?
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random
today…is going to suck for everyone that knows me.
Just think, ‘mommy  dearest’ meets Jack from “The Shining”.

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19
Dec
Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random


Twas a few days ‘fore Christmas (or…insert Decemberish holiday that doesn’t offend you), and computers are humming.

You need an assignment, without one you’re bumming.

Your hostess is curled in the closet, near dead

While visions of laptops dance in her head (fucking H.P).

When all of a sudden, on Random and Odd,

A substitute teacher, an obvious fraud (or hero who saves old asian ladies, whichever you choose to call me).

I’ll be nice for Kristine, and all of you whiners

Who aren’t professional photographers or graphic designers.

OK, this poem sucks. It ends here.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept:

1. One decoration. Pick an ornament, or light, or beer can (for you, Pissy). Whatever one thing in or around your home that you’d like to share with us.

2. One gift. Wrapped, unwrapped. Show off your favorite present without looking snobby! Show off some incredible gift-wrapping skills. Show off that Shaun autographed glossy 8×10 (for those off you smart enough to order before the holiday rush). Whatever. Pick a gift. If you’re not religious, buy Kristine something and take a picture of it. I’ll make sure it reaches the closet unless it’s Stripper Cookies.

3. Something stuffed in a stocking. Be creative with this one!! Do I really need to explain?

OK, now play. No lame excuses about being busy. Or out of town. Are you Amish? Do they not have electricity where you’re going? If Kristine can get a toaster to reach the closet, you can surely get to a PC. Failure to play just makes next week harder on your classmates who DID do their work. God I hated substitutes. I’m sorry. I’m out.

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